Shows
DNA SurprisesSteve's DNA SurpriseIf there is one thing I hope we can all agree on, it’s that families come in all shapes and sizes. Many people with DNA surprises end up with two, three, or more fathers and just as many mothers, too.
When Steve experienced his DNA surprise, he already had two men in his life that he called “Dad.” After he learned the truth about who his biological father is, he added a third to his list. In this week’s episode, Steve shares how he uncovered the truth. Trust me when I say, it’s an extremely u...
2024-05-2145 minDNA SurprisesJulie's DNA SurpriseMost of the time, when I speak to people on the podcast, we learn that the reason they took the test was out of curiosity or for fun. Maybe they were given the DNA test as a gift from a friend or significant other. So imagine my surprise when I learned that this week’s guest was given her Ancestry DNA kit by her mother.
Welcome to Season 8 of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Julie shares how she uncovered the truth about her paternity after her mom gifted her a DNA test. She recalls her “party...
2024-05-1450 minDNA SurprisesDana Schmalenberg's DNA SurpriseThere is never a good time to discover that the man you’ve called “Dad” for your entire life isn’t biologically related to you, but I imagine that having this realization as he lays in a hospital bed, dying, must be among the worst.
In the season 7 finale of DNA Surprises, Dana Schmalenberg shares how she uncovered the truth that both of her parents held tightly until the day her father passed. She reveals the shocking truth about her biological father, a man who fathered 9 other children, many of whom share strange similarities.
She also rev...
2024-03-261h 15DNA SurprisesAngela, Wyatt, Cassidy, and Cody’s DNA SurpriseHow do you define family? For so many of us, DNA surprises have made us reflect deeply on this question. For Wyatt, Cassidy, Cody, and Angela, the answer is different depending on who you ask.Twenty-plus years ago when Wyatt, Cassidy, and Cody were born, fertility clinics didn’t advocate for disclosure. So when their mother and father asked Angela, a clinic employee who’d befriended their mom, to donate her eggs for their subsequent pregnancies, they opted to position Angela as more of a fami...
2024-03-191h 09DNA SurprisesLisa S' DNA SurpriseMany of us who have had DNA surprises spend some time wondering “What if?” What if we’d been raised in a different house, with our newly discovered biological parent? What if we’d known the truth from the beginning? What would our lives look like now? Would they be better? Or…would they be worse?
In this week’s episode, Lisa shares how she uncovered her shocking DNA surprise, learning that her biological father is her dad’s best friend. She shares how she’s built beautiful relationships with her newfound family, which has led to her wonder what...
2024-03-121h 14DNA SurprisesPat's DNA SurprisePicture this: you grow up with a sibling who is convinced they are not your dad’s biological child. No one knows about DNA surprises or NPEs or anything like that, but they just know their dad isn't THEIR dad. Years later, after commercial DNA testing becomes commonplace, you offer them some peace of mind. All of your siblings take a test to prove, once and for all, that your parents are the biological parents of all of your siblings.
Except…they aren’t. Only it’s not your sibling who is the NPE. It’s you. In this we...
2024-03-0536 minDNA SurprisesRyan's DNA SurpriseSecrets. Secrets are often at the beginning of a DNA surprise. But after the surprise is uncovered, is that the end of them? In this week’s episode, Ryan shares how on one fateful Thanksgiving, his mother confessed the truth about his paternity. When he spoke to his birth certificate father and his biological father, they both requested that he continue the secrecy.
Ryan discusses why keeping the secret is harmful to him and why he struggles with when to share his DNA surprise with others. He also shares how his DNA surprise affected his mental health an...
2024-02-2736 minDNA SurprisesJill's DNA SurpriseSomething that I’ve heard more than once on this podcast is a situation that goes something like this: people are having an argument. A mother and child. A husband and wife. Both parents with their child, or some other combination. And then, in the heat of the moment, someone reveals the truth. So and so isn’t your real dad anyway.
And then, just as quickly as it was blurted out, it is taken back. Dismissed. Forgotten about or explained away for years, until decades later, a DNA test brings the truth to light.
In thi...
2024-02-2045 minDNA SurprisesTina's DNA SurpriseTina grew up believing that her biological father didn’t want to be part of her life. Imagine her shock when, after taking a DNA test, she found out that her biological father is someone else altogether. In this week’s episode, Tina shares how she found her biological father and then quickly lost him. She also reveals her family history of NPEs, including her own son.
Thank you for sharing your story, Tina.
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2024-02-1328 minDNA SurprisesRobin Schepper's DNA SurpriseThe thing about DNA Surprises is that they can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter your race, socioeconomic status, politics, or background. In this week’s episode, my guest, author Robin Schepper, shares her DNA surprise story.
For more than thirty years, Robin served at the highest levels of American politics and government. including on four presidential campaigns, in the Clinton White House, and as the first Executive Director of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! Initiative.
She also grew up not knowing who her father was and spent decades trying to find him. In this e...
2024-02-0641 minDNA SurprisesRay's DNA SurpriseImagine being 16 and witnessing your parents’ divorce. Imagine finding out at this time that the man who raised you is not your biological father. After finding your biological father and failing to connect, you go through the next three decades just living your life. You have a child. You get married. You get divorced. And then you take a DNA test and experience a DNA surprise all over again. Only this time, the truth is closer to home than you imagine.
In this week’s episode, Ray shares his remarkable DNA surprise journey, including how he finally disco...
2024-01-3033 minDNA SurprisesDaughter Dee's DNA SurpriseSometimes, DNA surprises happen more than once. NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people might have their worlds shaken, only to have it happen again months, years, or even decades later. In this week’s episode, Daughter Dee shares her late discovery adoptee experience, which was followed decades later by an NPE. She shares how she learned that she was adopted, how she uncovered the truth about her biological father, and how she’s turned her experiences into helping others.
Thank you for sharing your story, Daughter Dee.
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2024-01-2333 minDNA SurprisesErika's DNA SurpriseErika's incredible DNA surprise journey starts with a mind-altering awakening. Erika always felt an underlying sense of 'otherness' in her family. After an experience with psilocybin, or “magic mushrooms,” she realized that there was a big lie in her life. Thanks to a DNA test and a potent dose of self-awareness, a truth emerges that casts her entire upbringing in a new light. In this episode, Erika shares how she’s navigated the emotional fallout, reassessed her relationships, and grappled with her newly discovered Irish lineage. She also discusses how patriarchal norms in our society can create toxicity within the NP...
2024-01-1648 minDNA SurprisesJenniffer's DNA SurpriseWelcome to Season 7 of DNA Surprises. In the first episode of the season, Jenniffer shares how she unraveled her mother's deep secrets via DNA testing. Jenniffer talks about growing up in a Venezuelan family, fostered at times by her paternal grandparents, only to discover later in life that she shares no DNA with them. In addition, she learned that all of her raised siblings share different fathers. We discuss how the discovery impacted her and her siblings, how she’s building relationships with her newfound family, and how she’s moving toward acceptance.
Thank you for sharing your...
2024-01-0951 minDNA SurprisesJamie's DNA SurpriseWelcome to the season 6 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Jamie bravely shares her DNA surprise journey, which began 5 years ago with a 23&Me test.
Jamie’s story encapsulates many parts of the DNA surprise stories we hear. She shares how her NPE came as a complete surprise. Her story includes an ethnic shift, from Italian to Portuguese, rejection AND acceptance, family estrangement, secrecy, and openness. and mental health issues. She also touches on her experience as a recipient parent of an egg donation and how her NPE has reaffirmed her commitment to be tran...
2023-11-281h 01DNA SurprisesBarbara's DNA SurpriseIn this week's episode, we delve into Barbara's DNA surprise story. Barbara grew up with a strong connection to her German heritage before discovering, in her fifties, that she was donor-conceived and of Jewish descent. She discusses the challenges she faced, the shock and sense of displacement she felt after the discovery, and the impact it had on her relationships with her parents–and her sense of self. She also shares the joy she experienced in connecting with some of her half-siblings.
Thank you for sharing your story, Barbara.
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2023-11-2145 minDNA SurprisesLawrence's DNA SurpriseIn this week’s episode, Lawrence shares his surprise at learning that he is a late discovery adoptee. After he took a DNA test, Lawrence discovered that the mom who raised him is not his biological mother. He describes his search for his biological family, as well as the truth about his birth story, and how his newfound relationships are blossoming. Thank you for sharing your story, Lawrence.
Resources:DNAngels
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2023-11-1434 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode | Announcing the 2024 DNA Surprise Retreat!Have you been wondering when and where the 2024 DNA Surprise Retreat will be held? In this bonus episode, Debbie and I share all of the details about next year's DNA Surprise Retreat. We also chat about what we loved about 2023's retreat and what we look forward to next year.Registration for the retreat opens November 15, 2023. Visit www.dnasurpriseretreat.com for more info!
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2023-11-0834 minDNA SurprisesMichelle Tullier's DNA SurpriseOne of the most healing things that we can do during our DNA surprise journeys is to write about them. In this week's episode, I'm joined by author Michelle Tullier. Michelle talks about her journey of finding out the truth, her initial reaction to her discovery, and how she has processed the emotions and navigated her new relationships. She also discusses the importance of therapy and writing in her healing process, as well as her plans to publish a memoir about her experience.
Thank you for sharing your story, Michelle.Resources:
https://www.michelletullierauthor.com/
...
2023-11-0742 minDNA SurprisesPatrice's DNA SurpriseNot many of us experience our DNA surprises on television, but this week’s guest did exactly that. Patrice is a foundling adoptee, adopted at just a few months old after being abandoned in a garbage bin. She always knew she was adopted, but as an adult, she decided she wanted to look for her biological family.
The TLC show Long Lost Family shows her finding her biological sister, but much more happened behind the scenes. She shares what happened when she reunited with her biological mother and how it changed her perspective on her story.
She...
2023-10-3146 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode: An update from Michael PaulWelcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises. Michael Paul first joined me in Season 2, shortly after his discovery. In this bonus episode, Michael shares an update on what's happened in his life since we last spoke. He shares his journey of discovering the importance of self-care and setting boundaries after a DNA surprise.He also discusses his evolving relationship with his bio dad and the challenges he faces, along with the positive changes he's made in his life, such as changing his last name and pursuing his career passions. This is a shorter version of our conversation...
2023-10-2724 minDNA SurprisesLily's DNA SurpriseIf you’re familiar with other DNA surprise podcasts, this week’s guest needs no introduction. And if you aren’t allow me to introduce you to Lily Wood, host of NPE Stories. Lily started NPE Stories after experiencing her own NPE in 2019. She is a strong presence in our community, a bonafide truth-teller, and I call her one of the OGs in this space.
She joined me to talk about her DNA surprise and how it has affected her life. Lily offers a vulnerable and transparent look at what happens when the relationships in our lives aren’t...
2023-10-2445 minDNA SurprisesNina's DNA SurpriseSomething we unfortunately hear too often in our community is that NPEs were treated differently as children. In this week’s story, Nina shares how her DNA surprise explained why her mother treated her poorly her entire life.
She also discusses how her newfound connections are going and how she is working to accept that she may never find answers.
Thank you for sharing your story, Nina.
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2023-10-1735 minDNA SurprisesGerard's DNA SurpriseThis week’s DNA surprise story is told from a side we haven’t heard from yet - a found father. When Gerard received an email from a man claiming to be his son, he wasn’t sure what to think. He soon discovered that unbeknownst to him, he was the father of a 30-something-year-old man who had been adopted as an infant.
Gerard shares how he pieced together who the mother of his son was and how he reconnected with her. He also discusses how supportive his wife and daughters have been as he builds a relati...
2023-10-1057 minDNA SurprisesPam's DNA SurpriseWhat is more shocking than one NPE discovery? Two NPE discoveries. In this week’s episode, Pam shares how she spent 20 years believing that her biological father wasn’t her “dad," but another man with whom she had a strained relationship.
Imagine her surprise when, after the invention of commercial DNA tests, she uncovered another truth - that her biological father was someone else entirely.
Pam shares how differently she handled her first NPE versus her second, and why she’s chosen to make peace with her discoveries instead of feeling angry about them.
Thank yo...
2023-10-0346 minDNA SurprisesMichelle's DNA SurpriseWhen Michelle took her DNA test, she wasn’t looking for her own biological father. In fact, she hoped to answer some questions about her mother’s NPE. You can imagine her shock when she discovered that her mother wasn’t the only NPE - Michelle was too. She also learned that her biological father is a man she fondly remembered from her childhood.
Michelle discusses how her DNA surprise has affected her and her family, as well as how she is building a relationship with her biological father after all these years. She also shares how, long b...
2023-09-2648 minDNA SurprisesEric's DNA SurpriseDNA tests. NPE. Donor conception. Politics. In this week’s episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Eric, who learned that he was donor-conceived after taking a 23andMe test.
He shares why he decided to take the test, why he waited three years before doing anything with his surprising results, and how his discovery impacted his relationship with his parents. He also shares how he has connected with his newfound siblings and the larger DCP community.Towards the end of the episode, Eric provides us with a quick history lesson on the origins of donor conc...
2023-09-1957 minDNA SurprisesRikki, Jules, and Kendall's DNA SurpriseWelcome to Season 6 of DNA Surprises. We’re kicking off this season with a quadruple DNA surprise story as told by triplets.
Rikki, Julianne, and Kendall are donor-conceived triplets who were separated at birth. Rikki was raised by her biological mother and who she believed was her biological father. Jules and Kendall were raised together by their adoptive parents.
Rikki knew about her sisters but didn’t know she was donor-conceived until after her dad died. Meanwhile, Julianne and Kendall knew they were donor-conceived, but didn’t know about Rikki until they were older.
In t...
2023-09-121h 20
Luke, Who is Your Father?S2 | E3: Alexis Hourselt- Everyone KnewThis week we are graced with the presence of Alexis Hourselt, host of DNA Surprises!
Alexis tells us about a family secret that was kept from her for her entire life, how it feels to find out that you're not the race that you thought you were, and what it's like to build fellowship with your new community.
You can find Alexis at @dnasurprises on all social media networks, and be on the lookout for the next DNA Surprises retreat!
2023-09-111h 23DNA SurprisesJosie's DNA SurpriseWelcome to the Season 5 finale of DNA Surprises.
In this week’s episode, Josie shares a DNA surprise that doesn’t come as the result of a test she took, but of her own revelation well into her twenties. She always knew that she was donor conceived and raised by a single mother, but it wasn’t until she had her son that she wanted to find her sperm donor.
Josie shares why she wanted to seek out her donor and what she hopes to gain from their future relationship. Her story ends on a cliffha...
2023-08-0135 minDNA SurprisesChris' DNA SurpriseSometimes the connections that we make on our DNA surprise journeys extend beyond immediate family - and sometimes, they’re beyond ourselves. In this week’s episode, Chris shares how his quest to find his biological father connected other family members with each other.
He discusses how he finally found out who his biological father is and how never knowing his father as a child affected him.
Thanks to Chris for sharing his story.
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2023-07-2546 minDNA SurprisesShelly's DNA SurpriseBefore we begin this episode, a content warning: there is a brief mention of suicidal ideation in this story.
Parenting while navigating a DNA surprise journey can be an extremely difficult task. In this week’s episode, Shelly shares how she not only uncovered that her raised dad was not her biological father, but that she is also ethnically Jewish.
She discusses many challenges we haven’t dived into on the podcast before, from how the DNA surprise affected her son, to the unexpected financial implications of a shocking discovery.
Thank you for sharin...
2023-07-1853 minDNA SurprisesPenny's DNA SurpriseMany folks who experience a DNA surprise share a feeling of being the black sheep of their family - of never quite fitting in, and in some cases, being actively ostracized by their family of origin. In this week’s episode, Penny shares her complicated family history and why her NPE validated her outsider status within the family.
She reflects on the gaslighting and neglect she experienced as a child, and how she uncovered the truth with the power of her own intuition.
Thanks to Penny for sharing her story.
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2023-07-1158 minDNA SurprisesCaroline's DNA SurpriseBefore we begin this week’s episode, we have a content warning. There are multiple references to child abuse, including sexual abuse, in this story.
When some people experience DNA surprises, the initial shock and grief just scratch the surface of the emotions that arise. In this week’s episode, Caroline shares how she discovered that her birth certificate father is not her biological father.
This discovery brought up memories and emotions that she’d pushed to the back of her mind long ago. Caroline discusses how she’s processing this new information and building a connect...
2023-07-0436 minDNA SurprisesShari's DNA SurpriseWhen the parents in a DNA surprise story are no longer alive to answer questions, their children are left to investigate. In this week’s episode Shari discusses her NPE discovery, including the months of painstaking research she did while trying to identify her biological father.
Shari talks about how she put the pieces together, why she views her surprise as a blessing, and why she has empathy for her mother. She also discusses her book, My Family Tree, Taken to the Grave, and how writing her story was therapeutic for her.
Thanks to Shari for...
2023-06-2752 minDNA SurprisesMark M's DNA SurpriseIn many cultures, kinship adoption is commonplace. Sometimes children grow up knowing they were adopted by a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or other extended family members. For people like Mark, this information comes as a surprise.
In this week’s episode, Mark shares how he discovered that his mother is actually his grandmother and his sister is actually his mother. While he doesn’t describe his surprise as traumatic, he discusses how it felt to learn that many of his family members kept this secret. He also shares how he’s connecting to his newfound Italian heritage.
Than...
2023-06-2038 minDNA SurprisesLiann's DNA SurpriseDNA surprises are, by definition, surprises, but sometimes there are murmurs and suspicions long before a DNA test confirms the truth. In this week’s episode, Liann shares how she uncovered her mother’s secret long before she took a test.
She talks about how she’s navigated her journey so far, including rejection from her biological father. She also reflects on how her admiration for her raised father has only grown in light of her DNA surprise.
Thanks to Liann for sharing her story.
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2023-06-1356 minDNA SurprisesMorgan's DNA SurpriseWhat’s in a name?
For people who have experienced a DNA surprise, a whole lot.
In this week's episode, Morgan shares his DNA surprise story as the child of an adoptee. He describes how he first found his biological grandmother before the days of the internet and later found his biological grandfather’s family with the help of commercial DNA testing.
He also explains why changing his name to that of his well-known paternal side made sense to him—even though it led to estrangement from his raised family.
Thanks to Mor...
2023-06-0643 minDNA SurprisesKimberly's DNA SurpriseWhen an NPE connects with newfound family and begins building positive relationships, many people consider it to be a success story. Sometimes, though, relationships take a turn, and rejection happens further into the relationship.
In this week’s episode, Kimberly shares how she uncovered her DNA surprise and connected with her biological father. She also discusses her surprise when, 18 months into what she thought was a wonderful relationship, he abruptly changed his feelings toward her.
She talks about how she’s working through this change in her DNA Surprise journey and which relationships she still hold...
2023-05-3056 minDNA SurprisesJen's DNA SurpriseContent Warning: Please note that there are references to suicide in this story. If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please contact an emergency or mental health professional. If you’re in the US, you can call or text 988.
Sometimes DNA discoveries occur without the aid of a DNA test. In this week’s episode, Jen shares how her mother revealed the truth about her paternity after a near-death experience. After locating her new-found family, she confirmed her biological father’s identity through DNA testing.
Jen shares a story of generational trauma, estrangement, and hope for the...
2023-05-2355 minDNA SurprisesChrista's DNA SurpriseWelcome to Season 5 of DNA Surprises. In the first episode of the season, Christa shares her NPE story. Christa always knew that something wasn’t quite right because she looked different from her family. When she got the results of her 23&Me test, she learned that her biological father wasn’t who she expected, and neither was her ethnicity. Christa talks about how she’s navigated building relationships with her newfound family and connecting to her Moroccan Jewish heritage. She also discusses the challenges she faces because her mother died shortly after her DNA surprise.Thanks to Chris...
2023-05-1634 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode: What's Next? An Interview with Life Coach Debbie OlsonWelcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises! Today I am joined by my good friend and co-founder of the DNA Surprise Retreat, Debbie Olson. Debbie is a Certified Life Coach and founder of DNA Surprise Network. She helps others navigate life’s path after having a DNA Surprise, having experienced one of her own. She enjoys using her skills of empathy, understanding, and communication with her coaching clients. In Debbie’s session at the DNA Surprise Retreat, “What’s Next?” she’ll talk about building on our strengths, the power we already have, and the next right moves to keep pra...
2023-04-1122 minDNA SurprisesSam's DNA SurpriseWelcome to the season 4 finale of DNA Surprises.
One of the things I’ve observed throughout my conversations within this community is that NPEs often explain away confusing details about their conception or births because we trust our parents. We believe what we’re told. In this week’s episode, Sam explains how she always felt different from her sisters and raised her father but trusted what her mother told her.
Eventually, she uncovers a mystery with multiple possible biological fathers. Sam shares how she found her biological father’s identity (with the help of DNAngels) ...
2023-03-2147 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode: Write to Heal - An interview with author and writing coach Christine WolfWelcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises. Christine Wolf is a Chicago-based author and writing coach whose focus is on memoir and biography. Her award-winning work is regularly featured in national newspapers, magazines, and on live storytelling stages.
Through her compassionate and trauma-informed approach, Wolf empowers writers and non-writers alike to find their authentic voices. In 2018, Wolf lost a younger sister suddenly; in 2022, thanks to a home DNA kit, she discovered an older sister they never knew existed.
Christine will facilitate a session at DNA Surprise Retreat - “Write-to-Heal" is an empowering, flexible, and compassi...
2023-03-1631 minDNA SurprisesAngie's DNA SurpriseSometimes DNA surprises lead to flourishing relationships with newfound family, but sometimes they do not. In this week’s episode, Angie shares how a comment from her birth certificate father’s wife revealed a non-paternal event.
She discusses how she identified her biological father with the help of DNAngels and her disappointment at his unwillingness to build a relationship. Angie also shares how she reached a place of compassion for him and his family, as well as her mother.
Thank you, Angie, for sharing your story.
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2023-03-1454 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode: Let it RAIN - An interview with RN & Integrative Health Coach Lindsay JohnsonWelcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Lindsay Johnson, a registered nurse, board-certified nurse coach, and integrative health coach who cares for the caregiver through stress, burnout, and trauma healing. She utilizes various methodologies in her practice, including mindful listening, transformative coaching, somatic experience and trauma healing, mindfulness, HeartMath, and gentle accountability.
Lindsay helps her clients reconnect to themselves and their bodies, become more aware and mindful of their coping mechanisms, access their courage and inner wisdom, and shed old habits in order to make way for more self-compassion and l...
2023-03-0924 minDNA SurprisesStacy W's DNA SurpriseDNA surprises can cause major disruptions to our interpersonal relationships, particularly the bonds we have with our raised parents. But often what most affects those relationships isn’t the surprises themselves, but how people act afterward.In this episode, Stacy shares how she uncovered not one, but two NPEs throughout her life. She shares how she’s built amazing relationships with her newfound family and how things have unfortunately deteriorated with her mother. At the very end of this episode, Stacy graciously shares the letter that she wrote her mother in its entirety–and her mother’s response...
2023-03-071h 01DNA SurprisesAly’s DNA SurpriseWhen people experience DNA surprises, the range of emotions they feel can be wide. There’s sadness. There’s confusion. There’s happiness, sometimes. And often, there is anger.
In this week’s episode, Aly shares how she felt when she learned that her birth certificate father isn’t her biological father and that she was born after a years-long affair between her mother and a colleague. She discusses how it’s been difficult to get the truth from her mother, how her relationship with her biological father isn’t want she hoped it would be, and how she discove...
2023-02-2849 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode: DNA Surprises & Grief - An interview with grief specialist Jennica KlemannWelcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Jennica Klemann, an Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Arizona Licensed Massage Therapist. She specializes in a variety of losses including death, divorce, loss of health, child loss, pet loss, and complicated familial dynamics, just to name a few. Jennica is facilitating a session on grief at the DNA surprise retreat.
In this episode, we discuss the different kinds of grief, misconceptions about grief, and how we can begin to integrate grief into our lives. Grief is a huge part of the DNA...
2023-02-2326 minDNA SurprisesKim M's DNA SurpriseSometimes DNA surprises aren’t surprising at all, but validating.
In this week’s episode, Kim shares how she learned that after feeling different from her family her entire life, she is not genetically related to her raised father. She also learned that she isn’t white as she believed, but descends from a large Mexican family.
She shares how she’s processing her surprise and connecting with her family.
After my interview with Kim, she decided to turn her DNA surprise into support for others. At the end of the episode, we reconnect...
2023-02-2156 minDNA SurprisesScarlett's DNA SurpriseOftentimes in the DNA surprise community, one NPE leads to another. In this week’s episode, Scarlett shares how she learned she was an NPE, only to learn that the man her mother identified wasn’t her biological father, either.
She tells us about her tumultuous upbringing, how her relationship with her raised family and newfound family is progressing, and how she tackled processing her DNA surprise.
I spoke with Scarlett in July of last year, just a short time after her discovery in March. Stay tuned for an update from Scarlett at the end of t...
2023-02-1454 minDNA SurprisesDebra's DNA SurpriseOne of the things people in the DNA surprise community contend with is that we’ll never have all of the answers to our questions.
In this week’s episode, Debra shares her story. She grew up with her mother and stepfather and was largely estranged from the man she believed to be her father. After reconnecting and building a relationship, she learned that the man on her birth certificate is not biologically related to her.
Debra shares how she uncovered the truth, what she’s learned so far, and how she’s moving forward without...
2023-02-0746 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode: Radical Acceptance - An interview with therapist Jennifer SpencerIn this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Jennifer Spencer, who is facilitating a session on Radical Acceptance at the DNA Surprise Retreat.
Jennifer is a licensed professional counselor who works with people who want to make lasting change for themselves to better their relationships, enjoy life, and make an overall life worth living. She specializes in DBT, CBT, ACT, and EMDR.
In our discussion, we chat about what Radical Acceptance is - and is not, and why it’s important in our DNA surprise journey.
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2023-02-0222 minDNA SurprisesLaurie's DNA SurpriseDNA surprises often shake the very core of what we believe our identities to be. In this week’s episode, Laurie shares how she went from believing she was the only child of two concentration camp survivors of the Holocaust to learning she is one of at least 6 siblings - half of whom were born as the result of assisted reproduction.
Laurie always knew her parents went to a fertility doctor but she had no idea that she was donor conceived. She shares how she learned of her donor conception, who she has connected with, and how th...
2023-01-3138 minDNA SurprisesPhil's DNA SurpriseThis week’s story tells not one, but two, shocking DNA discoveries. Growing up, Phil believed that the parents who raised him were his biological parents. As a child, he learned that his biological mother abandoned him and he was raised by his stepmother. Decades later, he learned that his raised father isn’t his biological parent, either.
This episode contains references to suicide, child abuse, and child sexual abuse. If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm, please call or text 988. If you are a victim of child sexual abuse, please call RAINN at 800-656-HOPE.
2023-01-2443 minDNA SurprisesShannon’s DNA SurpriseHow would you feel if you learned that your biological father was a constant presence in your life, despite being raised under the belief that another man shared your DNA?
In this week’s episode, Shannon shares how she learned that her biological father was a longtime family friend who even taught her how to tie her shoes.
I spoke with Shannon just four months after her DNA surprise. She offers a fresh perspective on the immediate aftermath of a discovery, including what she’s doing to process and how she’s learning more about her ne...
2023-01-1740 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode: Big T, Little t - An interview with trauma therapist Megan IrwinIn this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Megan Irwin, who will be facilitating a session on Trauma at the DNA Surprise Retreat. Megan is a licensed therapist specializing in grief and loss, trauma/PTSD, and associated challenges. She serves as a compassionate witness and guide for her clients’ healing and personal growth. Megan will facilitate a session called “Big T, Little t” on how DNA surprise traumas affect our bodies and minds. She’ll also empower us with tools to manage the big feelings we experience following our surprises.In our conversation...
2023-01-1245 minDNA SurprisesRobin's DNA SurpriseEvery DNA surprise is unique and layered, and this is especially true for those who have major shifts in ethnicity. In this week’s episode, Robin shares her NPE journey, which began more than a decade ago.
Robin was always proud of her blackness. But when she made her discovery, she not only learned that her dad is not her biological father, but that her biological father is white—and racist. She shares how her discovery has affected her sense of self and her relationships.
Thank you for sharing your story, Robin.
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2023-01-1044 minDNA SurprisesNatalie's DNA SurpriseWelcome to Season 4 of DNA Surprises. In our first episode of the season, Natalie shares her NPE story. When Natalie experienced her surprise, she had no idea that she was uncovering her mother’s decade’s-long secret about Natalie and her brother.
So many of us are desperate for answers when we first uncover a DNA surprise. Natalie’s story perfectly captures how we often learn more and more truths as time passes. Thanks to Natalie for sharing her story.
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2023-01-0351 minDNA SurprisesKiara's DNA SurpriseWelcome to the Season 3 finale of DNA surprises. In this week’s episode, Kiara Rae Schuh shares her journey as she connected with her fellow donor-conceived siblings and eventually, her donor.
Kiara discusses the importance of her chosen family, which is also the name of her brand new book, and how her mother’s openness about using assisted reproduction informs her views of donor conception and family structures. She also reveals a DNA surprise that she didn’t see coming.
Thanks to Kiara for sharing her story.Click here to purchase Chosen Family.
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2022-11-2242 minDNA SurprisesStacy's DNA SurpriseDNA surprises are often uncovered after innocent intentions. When Stacy’s daughter decided to take a DNA test to learn more about her father’s side of the family because he was adopted, she didn’t suspect that she’d uncover her mother’s NPE.
Stacy shares how she always felt different from her family and how she is forging new relationships with her biological father, step-mom, and newfound sisters. She also discusses how her discovery has affected her relationship with her mother.
Thank you for sharing your story, Stacy.
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2022-11-1543 minDNA SurprisesGuy's DNA SurpriseNot every DNA surprise is filled with trauma and upset. In this week’s episode, Guy joins me for a delightful conversation about his NPE discovery. He discusses why he always felt like he didn’t fit in and the other reasons he attributed to his outsider status in his family.
He shares why he feels vindicated and relieved to learn that he is an NPE and how he’s tackling his case like a detective.
Thank you for sharing your story, Guy.
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2022-11-081h 05DNA SurprisesKaren's DNA SurpriseIn this week’s episode of DNA Surprises, Karen shares what’s happened since she last shared her DNA surprise story. You can hear the first part of her story on Lily Wood’s podcast, NPE Stories - Karen C’s story.
As a quick content warning, there is a brief mention of suicide and some discussion about heavy alcohol use.Karen shares how she found her biological father, someone she actually remembers when she was young. She also uncovered multiple NPEs on her bio dad’s side of the family. She shares how she’s made peace wit...
2022-11-0134 minDNA SurprisesBonnie's DNA SurpriseDNA surprises are often bittersweet. The results we receive via consumer DNA testing can lead to upset and confusion, but they also can answer long-held questions and lay the foundation for new relationships.
In this week’s episode, Bonnie shares how she always knew that she didn’t know her father, but once she started searching, she found answers she didn’t expect. Her journey to identifying her biological father includes many twists and turns. She shares how she was able to track down her bio dad with the support of a search angel and how her discov...
2022-10-2549 minDNA SurprisesKim's DNA SurpriseOne of the things we talk about often within the DNA Surprise community is the ripple effect. Surprises don't only affect NPEs, donor-conceived people, and adoptees - they affect their parents, their children, friends, spouses, and other family members.
In this week’s episode, Kim shares how she helped uncover the complicated story of her Granda Mary, who had several NPE children. She discusses what steps she took to put the pieces together and how her work has affected her relationship with her dad.
Thanks to Kim for sharing her story.
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2022-10-1848 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode - Interview with Right to KnowWelcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises! I had the privilege of speaking with Kara and Alesia from Right to Know about all of the amazing work they do for the MPE, DCP, and adoptee communities.
They also share some exciting news about their upcoming Untangling Our Roots Summit. The event is scheduled for March 30-April 1 and tickets are on sale now!
I’ll be there for the podcasters meet and greet as well as participating in a panel alongside Eve Sturges from Everything’s Relative and Lily Wood of NPE Stories. I’m also looking...
2022-10-1748 minDNA SurprisesShardae's DNA SurpriseThe DNA Surprise community is very familiar with shame and stigma. this week’s episode tackles a taboo subject.
Shardae took her DNA test for the same reason many Americans do - out of curiosity about her family’s indigenous ties. What she uncovered is that her birth certificate father is not her biological father - she is the product of a one-time encounter between her mother and her mother’s first cousin.Shardae talks about how she’s navigating this information and processing the stigma around her origin story.Thanks to Shardae for sharing her stor...
2022-10-1146 minDNA SurprisesDebbie's DNA Surprise (+ A Special Announcement!)DNA Surprises aren’t limited to NPEs. In this week’s episode, Debbie shares how she always knew she was adopted, and later learned her biological father was dead. Little did she know that a consumer DNA test would change everything. Debbie shares what’s been helpful to her throughout her journey and how she’s used her own experience to help others.
On that note, please stay tuned until the very end of this episode, when Debbie and I share a very special announcement. You don’t want to miss it!Follow Debbie at @dnasurprisenetwork.
...
2022-10-0432 minDNA SurprisesBianca’s DNA SurpriseNPEs come from all backgrounds, but all too often, the stories we hear involve childhood abuse. In this week’s episode, Bianca shares her difficult journey to finding out that she is an NPE. First, a content warning: Bianca’s story includes discussion of drug use, rape, and abuse, and is not suitable for all listeners.
If you or anyone you know are a victim of rape or sexual assault, please call the National Sexual Abuse Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.SAHMSA: 1-800-662-4357ChildHelp: 1-800-422-4453Thanks to Bianca for sharing her...
2022-09-2748 minDNA SurprisesHayley's DNA SurpriseOne of the most interesting things about the DNA surprise community is how much intersection there is between adoptees, donor-conceived people, and NPEs. In this week’s episode, Hayley, who was one of the first people conceived through IVF in the UK, shares her NPE story. While she knew from a young age that she was conceived through IVF, it wasn’t until she was in her 30s that she learned her raised father is not her genetic parent.
As a DCP, Hayley has a unique perspective as she embarked on her own parenting journey with her wife...
2022-09-2051 minDNA SurprisesDevin's DNA SurpriseSometimes DNA surprises reveal that bio fathers are people known to the NPE, however unexpected. In this week's episode, Devin shares how a DNA test revealed that he is one of more than a dozen children - some of his siblings old enough to be his grandparent. He shares how he’s connected with those siblings, and how his discovery has affected his relationship with his mother. Thanks for sharing your story, Devin.Thank you for sharing your story, Devin.
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2022-09-1330 minDNA SurprisesAshley’s DNA SurpriseWelcome to Season 3 of DNA Surprises. In the season premier, Ashley shares her double NPE journey.
First, a content warning: due to the circumstances of Ashley’s conception, there is a lengthy discussion of rape and sexual assault. There are also mentions of childhood sexual abuse. If you or anyone you know are a victim of rape or sexual abuse, please call:
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
Ashley took her DNA test for health reasons, and was completely blindsided when she learned her raised father is not her bio dad...
2022-09-061h 05DNA SurprisesJennifer’s DNA SurpriseWelcome to the season 2 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Jennifer shares her NPE story. While she was never close to her birth certificate father, she was blindsided when she put the pieces together after taking a DNA test.
Jennifer shares how her discovery has made an impact on her relationships and how she’s buildling a relationship with biological father.
Thanks to Jennifer for sharing her story. You can hear more from Jennifer at her podcast, Unfinished Truths.
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2022-07-191h 04DNA SurprisesKristin H's DNA SurpriseKristin had no idea her NPE was coming, let alone the secrets she’d uncover because of her DNA surprise. Not only did she discover that she is an NPE – she learned that her sister is, too.
In this week’s episode, Kristin explains how she’s worked through rejection from her found family and estrangement from her raised family. She also shares her own regret over taking the test in the first place.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kristin.
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2022-07-1241 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode - Crossover with Everything's Relative with Eve SturgesWelcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises, a crossover with Everything’s Relative with Eve Sturges! In this episode, we chat about our own NPE stories, the importance of humor throughout our journeys, and why we started our podcasts.
I also share something I’ve never shared before - that I’ve been on the other side of a DNA surprise.
Thanks to Eve for collaborating with me on this episode and thank you for listening!Listen to Everything's Relative with Eve Sturges.Buy Who Even Am I Anymore?
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2022-07-081h 04DNA SurprisesLayla's DNA SurpriseLayla always knew that she was adopted by family. She also knew both of her birth parents, or so she thought.
In this week’s episode, Layla shares how she discovered she is an NPE and what she had to do to identify her biological father. Layla also discusses the many nuances of discovering a new ethnicity.
Thank you for sharing your story, Layla.
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2022-07-0547 minDNA SurprisesAnnie’s DNA SurpriseHave you ever wondered about the first NPEs who found out through commercial DNA tests? In this week’s episode, Annie shares how she began her journey a decade ago.
She shares how she figured out who her father is and how she has made connections with her found family. She also offers her perspective on her mother’s choice.
Thank you to Annie for sharing her story.
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2022-06-2845 minDNA SurprisesDori’s DNA SurpriseNPEs, DCPs, and adoptees aren’t the only people who experience DNA Surprises. Found family has them, too. This week, Dori shared her surprise at being contacted by a sibling she never knew existed.
Dori also shares her experience growing up with family secrets, especially her life being raised by a lesbian couple. I’m excited to release this episode during pride month because it demonstrates how far we’ve come in destigmatizing LGBTQI families. I look forward to the day when we see families for what they are - families, each with as much nuance as anyo...
2022-06-2150 minDNA SurprisesLinda's DNA SurpriseSome DNA surprise stories are harder to unravel than others. When Linda found out about her NPE, she was nearly 60 years old and both her mother and birth certificate father had passed. In this week's episode, Linda shares how she was able to track down the identity of her biological father despite genealogical challenges such as endogamy, (the custom of marrying only within the limits of a local community, clan, or tribe).
I also want to add a quick content warning for this episode. Because Linda can't ask any of her parents about her conception, she does...
2022-06-1436 minDNA SurprisesMark's DNA SurpriseWhen Mark received a call from who he believed was a new-found half-sibling, he wasn't surprised. Little did he know that this revelation would lead him to his own NPE journey. In this week's episode, Mark shares how he uncovered his truth, how he connected with his family, and how he finds peace with his mother, who died before he could speak to her about his DNA surprise. He also offers valuable advice to parents and NPEs, particularly to men.Thanks to Mark for sharing his story.
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2022-06-0737 minDNA SurprisesKara’s DNA SurpriseIn this week’s episode, Kara shares her donor conceived journey. Kara’s parents told her and her twin sister that they were conceived with a donor egg when they were 10 years old. The family never really spoke about it again.
Kara shares how she connected with her bio mom, how she feels about donor conception, and what steps would make donor conception more ethical today.
Thanks for sharing your story, Kara.You can follow Kara on Instagram at @kara_donorconceived
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2022-05-3133 minDNA SurprisesMichael Paul’s DNA SurpriseMichael Paul always felt different from his family. He was treated differently than his two younger brothers and went through multiple periods of estrangement from his raised parents. In this week’s episode, he shares how he finally learned the truth through a consumer DNA testing kit.
He tells us how he connected with his biological dad and why he made the difficult decision to ultimately go no contact with his raised family.
Thanks to Michael Paul for sharing his story.
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2022-05-241h 03DNA SurprisesCharlotte's DNA SurpriseIn this week's episode, Charlotte shares her journey as both an adoptee and NPE. Charlotte always knew she was adopted. Her parents were always open with her and she never wanted to seek out her birth parents. After taking a 23&Me test to learn her health history, she was surprised to realize that it also connected her with DNA matches.She shares how she found her birth parents, how this process affected her relationship with her raised parents, and what she's learned about her family and herself throughout this process.Thanks to Charlotte for sharing her story.
2022-05-171h 19DNA SurprisesCara's DNA SurpriseIn this week's episode, Cara shares an NPE story with lots of twists and turns. She tells us how she found out about her NPE and the journey to finding her biological father. She also shares how her new relationships are forming and how this process has affected her relationship with her BCF (birth certificate father) and mother.Thanks to Cara for sharing her story.
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2022-05-1059 minDNA SurprisesGretchen's DNA SurpriseWelcome to season 2 of DNA Surprises! In this week’s episode, we’ll hear Gretchen’s NPE story.
Like many of our stories, Gretchen’s DNA surprise includes many people, and it can be difficult to understand the roles of everyone involved, so before we begin I want to give some background.
Before her DNA surprise, Gretchen believed she was the youngest of 3 children. It turns out that Gretchen’s biological father had two children before her - he had a daughter, Barbara, in his first marriage. Then he had her brother, Jimmy, in his second mar...
2022-05-0339 minDNA SurprisesBonus Episode - Interview with Leeanne R. HaySurprise! It’s a bonus episode. In recognition of DNA Day, on April 25, we’re dropping a special episode with author Leeanne R. Hay, who recently released her book NPE* A story guide for unexpected DNA discoveries.
In this episode, we take a deeper dive into some of the things Leeanne wrote about, from why she wrote the book to NPEs in the media to how consumer DNA testing companies should be held accountable to their customers.
You can buy her book here:United States
Amazon (affiliate link)
Barnes & Noble/NOOK https://www.barnesan...
2022-04-251h 01DNA SurprisesAlexis' DNA SurpriseWelcome to the season 1 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, I am going to share my story. In July, I found out that I am an NPE. I was completely blindsided by not only that discovery but a massive shift in racial identity. I’m going to discuss what my discovery was like and how I’ve processed what happened. I’ll also talk about what has helped me heal so far.
Thank you for listening to my story.
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2022-03-2837 minDNA SurprisesRose's DNA SurpriseWhile a DNA surprise can be a painful and traumatic experience, some NPEs are able to find a silver lining through beautiful new relationships. In this week's episode Rose shares her journey from feeling disconnected from her raised family to establishing a connection with her biological father.Thanks to Rose for sharing her story.
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2022-03-2247 minDNA SurprisesJessica's DNA SurpriseIn this week’s episode, Jessica shares how her NPE discovery unfolded. She discusses how it’s affected her relationship with her raised family and how she is trying to learn about her biological father, a man she was aware of while growing up.
One of the things that struck me most about Jessica’s story is how much it reflects the effects COVID 19 on DNA surprises. From delayed opportunities to connect with family to deaths preventing NPEs from getting the answers they so badly want, the pandemic has changed the trajectory of many journeys.Thanks to Jes...
2022-03-1530 minDNA SurprisesLisa's DNA SurpriseIn this week’s episode, Lisa reveals how her DNA test uncovered not one, not two, but three NPEs in her family. She shares how her NPE status affected her childhood before she even knew it. Lisa also shares the positive aspects of connecting with her newfound family.
Thanks to Lisa for sharing her story.
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2022-03-0833 minDNA SurprisesKristin's DNA SurpriseIn this episode, Kristin shares her NPE journey after discovering the truth just four months prior to our conversation. She was completely blindsided by the discovery and shares her shock and confusion over what to do next.She also discusses the new family connections she's made so far while expressing some concern about her raised father's feelings.Thanks to Kristin for sharing her story.
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2022-03-0140 minDNA SurprisesWhitney's DNA SurpriseWhitney's mom told her the truth about her biological father long before she took a DNA test. She learned the truth at 14, 6 years after the tragic loss of the man she believed was her father.In this episode, Whitney shares the long and winding road to connect to her biological father. She offers a compassionate view on the choices the adults in her life made and how those choices affected her.Thank you to Whitney for sharing her story.
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2022-02-221h 00DNA SurprisesMichael A’s DNA SurpriseMichael had been told he didn't look related to his family his entire life, so when his sisters asked him to take a DNA test for fun, he knew the truth was going to be revealed.In this episode, Michael shares his quest for answers despite both of his biological parents having Alzheimer's. He is also candid about his struggles with mental health in general and in light of his discovery.Thanks to Michael for sharing his story.
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2022-02-1546 minDNA SurprisesSummer’s DNA SurpriseSummer’s mother told her about her NPE status when she was 13–a secret she kept for decades. It wasn’t until she took a DNA test that she connected with her half-siblings, some of whom (to her shock) already knew about her, too.Summer shares how her relationships are developing despite not living in the same state. She also discusses some of the questions she has for her mother, who has since passed. Finally, Summer shares a unique, compassionate perspective of her mother and the difficult choices she made.Thanks to Summer for sharing her story.
...
2022-02-0845 minDNA SurprisesWendy’s DNA SurpriseWendy’s path to finding her biological father is a long and winding road. As a double NPE, she has twice learned that the man she believed was her bio dad was not. Now that Wendy knows the truth about her parentage, she discusses the challenges of building a relationship with her new family, which include a lack of time and differing religious values.Thanks to Wendy for sharing her story.
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2022-02-0148 minDNA SurprisesDiana’s DNA SurpriseWhen Diana learned that her biological father is an old family friend, she was completely shocked. But soon after her discovery, many things started making more sense. With the help of a newly found cousin, Diana began making connections with her family members, including an aunt. Unfortunately, Diana’s biological father and brothers haven’t reciprocated her efforts to connect. She shares how she’s moving forward despite not being able to speak directly to her father.
Thanks to Diana for sharing her story.
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2022-01-2531 minDNA SurprisesCrystal's DNA SurpriseCrystal's DNA surprise came as a total shock, years after she took her Ancestry DNA test. When her older sister showed up as a half-sibling, Crystal discovered that she is an NPE.She shares the intense emotions that people who experience non-paternal events feel, from sadness to hope. She talks about how connecting with her newfound family is going so far. Finally, Crystal offers some great advice for anyone who has just discovered that they are an NPE.Thanks to Crystal for sharing her story.
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2022-01-1853 minDNA SurprisesKerry's DNA SurpriseKerry's suspicions about her NPE status have come and gone throughout the years. As a child, she always felt different from her siblings, but a unique medical condition caused her to push aside any doubts she had about her paternity. By the time she learned the truth about her biological father from a DNA testing kit, her mother had passed, leaving her unable to ask many questions.Kerry offers a beautiful perspective on life and forgiveness. She talks about the stigma of being a conceived as the result of an affair and how that has affected her relationship...
2022-01-1155 minDNA SurprisesYvette’s DNA SurpriseYvette shares a story of intergenerational secrets that she unearthed after discovering her DNA surprise in December 2020.⠀She learns that not only is she an NPE, but so is her biological father. Yvette also shares what it’s like to realize that she has a very different ethnic background than she previously believed.⠀In addition to sharing the range of emotions she’s felt during her NPE journey, Yvette talks about ways that she’s connected with her birth father and ethnic background even after his death.
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2022-01-0459 minDNA SurprisesDNA Surprises - TrailerImagine spitting into a tube, sending off your DNA, and unknowingly turning your life upside down. For me and thousands of others, this is our reality. I'm your host, Alexis Hourselt. In July of 2021, I discovered that I am an NPE - someone who has experienced a non-paternal event. In other words, my biological father isn't who I thought he was.This podcast shares the journeys of people who were shocked by a DNA discovery, mostly through modern DNA testing. We're telling the stories of NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people and their families. This...is DNA Su...
2021-12-0201 min