Shows
Going TerriblyEp. 240: Two God Dogs in a Jack Mack Heart AttackThis week Doug asks Alice some much anticipated, very important questions. They involve God, rivals, and, of course, bologna sandwiches. Alice teaches Doug about translucent babies, and he does not take it well.Other discussion topics may include:- Has Michael J. Fox ever sung a song?- Turning retired rats into delicious milk- The sounds of tortoise sex- Eleven is way too many members for an upstart band- Vagina Havin' Sleep Walkin' Mamas.2025-05-0643 min
Going TerriblyEp. 239: Two Hillbilly Effigies in a Forbidden Love StoryThis week Alice and Doug pull up the ol' random topic generator and test their ability to talk about made-up holidays, strange movies, and more. It goes pretty well, except for Alice giving the audience a Star Wars spoiler (no, not that one) and Doug admitting to spraying fake vomit in a church. Other discussion topics may include:- Which of the 16 Star Wars TV series is your favorite?- Changing the Jaws score to scat music- What food looks disgusting but tastes delicious?...2025-04-2945 min
Going TerriblyEp. 237: Two Iconic Soundtracks in a Twenty-Year GapAlice has some very conflicting feelings about Severance. Doug has very conflicting feelings about Alice's very conflicting feelings about Severance. It's a whole to-do. Other discussion topics may include:- Tree elevators vs. Brothels- What are Mario, Luigi, and company up to these days?- It's 2025 and OJ Simpson jokes are as good as ever- White Castle airplane sex- WHY ISN'T THERE A MYST MOVIE?2025-04-1541 min
Going TerriblyEp. 235: Two Robot Bees in a Swiss Spaghetti HarvestIn this episode Alice and Doug take a look at comptrollers, caulking, and work-related virtual reality implementation. You know, real adulty type matters. But not all this week's topics are so sophisticated. They also discuss chocolate butter, ancient Greek sugar daddies, and NSFW virtual reality implementation. And they do it all like gangbusters. Other discussion topics may include:- How much do you believe Toronto's reporting of Japan's research?- Cross breeding grapes, and other ways of playing God2025-04-0148 min
Going TerriblyEp. 233: Two Jaw, Ear, Spine, and Skull Doctors in a Meat Lover's BurritoAlice and Doug babble on about clicky headphones/skulls and delicious, community-ordered hamburgers. Also, they might accidentally get Mrs. Shen arrested. And what household name owes his success to a $5 correspondence course and way-too-expensive bagel equipment? You'll see.Other discussion topics may include:- Multisyllabic sneezes- Coldplay covering Reba McEntire...?- Dislocated eyeballs (nobody look that up)- Gas station taco hubris- Gingerbread poutine. Or something like it.2025-03-1843 min
Going TerriblyEp. 232: Two Fabulous Foxes in a Caramelized Leek DipEp. 232: Two Fabulous Foxes in a Caramelized Leek DipAlice and Doug recently took a very pretentious trip to St. Louis, where they took in some culture, fine cuisine, and a questionable lodging situation. Doug also learned about adding flavors to hot drinks, while Alice took on a new food addiction. And remember, friends. You're not just some flat piece of toast. You're a full chunk of French bread. Other discussion topics may include:- Herniated...2025-03-1153 min
Going TerriblyEp. 231: Two Bald Headed Waiters/Servants in an Altered EGOTEverything from slaughterhouses to Melania Gibson is covered in this extremely educational episode of Going Terribly. Along the way, Alice and Doug make a (slightly too late) Curb Your Enthusiasm pitch and reminisce about marching band. Which, of course, everyone was in back in high school.Other discussion topics may include:- Did a first lady lose a limb in the White House?- Lord of the Lethal Weapons- Does a one-day old antelope have eyeballs?- How Interview with the Vampire...2025-03-0456 min
Going TerriblyEp. 230: Two Miniature Octogenarians in a Friday Night DinnerThis week Alice and Doug partake in an epic debate on timepieces. It's every bit as ridiculous and incorrigible as you are imagining. Elsewhere, you can expect to hear about dog bites, tiny old (possibly creepy?) old men, and the eightest cent butt you've ever seen. Other discussion topics may include:- Professional wrestling legend Tea Leoni- Proper usage of the popular expression "To feel in one's taint"- Guard cats and rottweiler ghosts...2025-02-2545 min
Going TerriblyEp. 226: Two Carolina Bean Snakes in a Pan of Chicken McNachosAlice and Doug recently took on The 12 Days of Carrey, where they watched Jim Carrey movies for 12 straight days. That's the second half of the episode, so you've been warned. But don't worry. The first half has plenty of fart, poop, and other butt related stuff like usual.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Restaurant floor dining
- Lou Bega and the American flag coming together in perfect harmony
- A critique of garbage salads
- Duane Johnson Soup
- Alice's...2025-01-2853 min
Going TerriblyEp. 225: Two Wrestling Ventriloquists in a Return of a Popular 1960s CerealIt's Doug's birthday, and Alice has a super cool niche surprise for him that you all can take two minutes out of your lives and humor Doug for. Because if you make it that far, you'll also have heard the "crudest, most disgusting thing" Alice has ever heard. Really, everyone gets a present.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Could your doctor also be a spy?
- Inadvertent Costco tease PTSD
- Bonus New Yum City!
- What do aspirin and heroin have in common? Spoiler...2025-01-2136 min
Going TerriblyEp. 222: Three Pugnacious Cheese Packers in a New Poo ZooAlice and Doug welcome back special guest Wendy Brown in this New Year's extravaganza. Doug puts Alice and Wendy's stress levels to the ultimate test. But Alice might be too (prescription) drugged up to feel the stress. Plus, is Wendy too kind for roller derby? Does Doug know *any* U.S. state capitals? And has Alice been watching the Saw movies too much? All this and more as we ring in 2025 in Terrible style.
Other discussion topics may include:
- New Year's festivities like fireworks, parades, and neighborhood gunshots2024-12-311h 21
Going TerriblyEp. 221: Three Bakers Named Kate in a Lit Elf PartyAndy Jones joins Doug and Alice for his second Christmas special, regardless of how Doug remembers things. Together, they play some holiday games and, of course, talk about Alice's poop a little. Can you guess which Christmas movies are family friendly and which are...absolutely not? You might be surprised.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Is 80 tabs too many to have open?
- A tattoo based on a huge dining mistake
- Potentially questionable stationery collections
- Christmas themed crimes and injuries
...2024-12-241h 16
Going TerriblyEp. 218: Two Dead and/or Canadian Celebrities in a Double Black Friday EventWell, it's Alice's turn to go on vacation. Er, be out sick. So William/Will/A Random Fellow is filling in to try to make sure Doug doesn't screw everything up while she's gone. Doug has a game prepared, but Will is ready and has brought along his own. Who takes control of the show? It's the ultimate battle of wills. Well, battle of Will and Doug, rather.
Other discussion topics may include:
- A special visit from one of the creators of possibly the worst PSP game ever made (no, really!)2024-12-0355 min
Going TerriblyEp. 217: Two Malice Rolls in a Holiday Greeting from Ryan ReynoldsIt's two days before Thanksgiving, and Alice and Doug have a lot to be thankful for.
And yet, somehow all they could really think of was Ryan Reynolds.
But there is a big surprise later in the episode (well, technically two!) that will be more than enough reason to stick around.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Did you know America's Funniest Home Videos is still on the air?
- How humane society trips are like sex2024-11-2640 min
Going TerriblyEp. 215: Two Feuding Sisters in a Grilling Boudoir PhotoDoug has fallen ill, but Going Terribly wasn't about to miss a week. So, for the first time ever, there's a guest host! Naem Madi is on board to help out while offering his own twist of fun with the musical "Naem That Tune." Meanwhile, Alice offers insights on Hollywood celebrity family feuds (not of the Steve Harvey variety) and Hemingway/Bible/colon connections.
But Doug does offer a couple of notes from the grave. Er, sidelines. So you won't be completely free of him.
Other discussion topics may...2024-11-1234 min
Going TerriblyEp. 214: Two Thrown Away Votes in an Unnecessary Book ReportThis Sunday is Alice's birthday! With Alice hitting the big 4-0, Doug digs up a bunch of stuff from Alice's birth year that might make her and Steve Guttenberg feel a little old. Like Who's the Boss and Depends. Doug presents a couple of games and even tries his hand at Alice's most popular segment.
Other discussion topics may include:
- The disappointment that spinal taps aren't as serious or dangerous as they sound
- Purse Suer vs. Purse Sewer - which is the worse pun?
2024-11-0553 min
Going TerriblyEp. 213: Three Tapeworm Ghosts in a Spoopy Sex Cruise StoryHappy Halloween!
Alice and Doug invite Kevin Roach to the show for his annual Halloween episode. This year they debate which horror movie villains they'd bed (spoiler: The Predator has some sexy abs) and recite a brand new scary story. They also discuss the merits of a travel bidet (or two!) and wonder if Pat Morita could have convincingly played a small town sheriff.
Other discussion topics may include:
- The dark side of Dr. Seuss
- Auntie Lee's Meat Pies
- When...2024-10-291h 25
Going TerriblyEp. 210: Two Disappointing Elephant Ears in an Unexpected Street FestivalCould you imagine if today were Julia Roberts's birthday?! It's not, but could you just IMAGINE?!?!
Elsewhere in this week's episode, Doug and Alice just got back from St. Louis (and TO the future!), and now they're ready to find some fowl balls or other unusual body parts to devour at the West Side Nut (heh) Club Fall Festival.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Keep ketchup off your hot dogs
- What do you do once you've tried every flavor of every brand of...2024-10-0849 min
Going TerriblyEp. 209: Two Booty Shots in a Case of Light Taiwanese Insurance FraudSeptember's over, so wake up and join Doug and Alice as they consider alternate Barry Manilow fandom names, question their new home's bathroom setup, and, most importantly, celebrate a special 100th birthday. Plus why does the international market have so many cooler RC products than we do?
Other discussion topics may include:
- A nostalgic start to a life long love affair with cheese curds
- Dropping your drawers in a grocery store
- Supper bullying
- The Sound of Music vs. West Side Story...2024-10-0149 min
Going TerriblyEp. 208: Two HoMEOWners in a Trip Down a Rabid HoleDoug and Alice have been doing a lot of burying of ledes lately, and it's time for all the news to finally come out. Major life changes have occurred. Are they shrouded in murder or in tradition? There's only one way to find out.*
Other discussion topics may include:
- Life is a lot more bearable when you picture all your finances in board game money
- A celebration of Eckerty, Indiana, if it does indeed exist
- Your garage and bathroom don't need TVs, but wouldn't it...2024-09-2443 min
Going TerriblyEp. 207: Two Creepy, Yet Kinda Romantic Pickup lines in a 9-Stool Root Beer StandAlice teaches us about the differences between Chinese language and symbols, as well as differences in sign languages between countries, including accents! Meanwhile, Doug makes a joke about Mario's penis.
Other discussion topics may include:
- A literally childish alien obsession
- Is there anyone who uses a letter as a first name who isn't successful?
- A computer literally tries to take over the episode (it's happening)
- How smarmy are you allowed to be when narrating a corny joke book?
- Happy...2024-09-1744 min
Going TerriblyEp. 206: Two Thick Ass Thieves in a Hollow MasterpieceIt's a Great Day with Doug, even if by force. Enjoy a trio of film directors' birthdays, some great news regarding Alice's band, and Doug gushing about his favorite musician. And even Barry Manilow.
Other discussion topics may include:
- The Sound of Music meets West Side Story in a battle to the death
- Try to name a non-sweet food that wouldn't be great on mashed potatoes. You can't.
- Should Quentin Tarantino write a musical?
- The phrase "milk ejection time" is used, so...2024-09-1046 min
Going TerriblyEp. 205: Two San Diego Periodontists in a Cool, Dark, Dry PlaceAlice has been a bonehead again. Doug almost had a tree crash down on his. It went terribly lately, but they're still hanging in there. They just can't pronounce anything correctly. You'll see.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Why Rick Moranis retired from acting
- Buttery salty fingies at the furniture store
- How to brush your teeth. Or maybe how not to. It's really up in the air.
- Storing things in your prickly ash
- One of Dr...2024-09-0346 min
Going TerriblyEp. 204: Two Roadside Giraffes in a Quest to Acquire Lost DignityIt's time to generate some random topics! Just what have Doug and Alice been breaking and losing lately? Besides hearts and farts, of course. Find out in this butt flap vibrating episode.
Start your engines and form your nethers. And watch out for shatnel. It's Going Terribly.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Delivery robots who demand to be taken seriously
- Have you heard women can both own land AND vote now? Progress is being made, folks.
- Costco samples vs. outright...2024-08-2744 min
Going TerriblyEp. 203: Two Small Herzegovinas in a Cream Cheese DownpourAlice and Doug recently returned from St. Louis. There was art, food, shopping, and, of course, IKEA. Now they're back to tell you all about it while also touching on scrambled pancakes and the difference between anuses and rectums.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Stale corn nuts and the palpating innards that accompany them
- Controversial ice cream jokes
- Which is the worse kind of nursery - a plant store or a baby store?
- Bacon Medusa
- The sickest Bosnian coffee...2024-08-2048 min
Going TerriblyEp. 202: Two Brown Chickens and/or Cows in a Pistachio Ice Cream LawsuitIt's time to take a trip down to New Yum City! Doug and Alice discuss recent and upcoming tasty (and/or really weird) treats. Honestly, why do other countries' McDonalds and KFCs have such amazing menu items? Step it up, America!
Other discussion topics may include:
- Caramel, gyro, and other relationship threatening words
- Why don't we drink any animal's milk other than cows?
- Powder filled chips and candies
- School anxiety dreams
- BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVORED THINGS ARE A HORRIBLE LIE2024-08-1350 min
Going TerriblyEp. 200: Three Bulletproof Boy Scouts in a History Making Episode!Years in the making, it's the 200th episode of Going Terribly!
For the first time ever, Alice and Doug are joined by special guest Laura D'Alto!
The trio then spend the next hour and a half mostly discussing poop. Listen, what else do you want?
Along the way, Laura does class it up with talk of K-pop concerts, World War II musicals, and an obvious love for her job and her family. But when left to their own devices, Alice and Doug drag it...2024-07-301h 27
Going TerriblyEp. 199: Three Toms, Fricks, and/or Harrys in a Big Train
Want to please your man?
Write him a lovely haiku,
And spit on that thang.
This week Alice and Doug welcome acclaimed poet/umpire/pirate/babe sketcher Nick "Frick" Wentzel. Games are played. Games that, someday, could just supplant baseball as America's past time. Time will tell.
Other discussion topics may include:
- What is your lick potential?
- How to be judge, jury, and executioner of small children
- Dame...2024-07-231h 19
Going TerriblyEp. 195: Two Magic Johnsons in a Nudie Film at the GymAlice and Doug are gearing up for next month's annual ice cream crawl while lamenting their failure to bring other unholy food events to fruition (YET). There's also an impromptu and accidentally cruel game of 20 Questions.
Other discussion topics may include:
- A satisfying drip
- The unfortunate discovery that both George Michael AND George Orwell are dead
- Introducing a young child to graphic hip hop music, out of respect for the art
- It is completely okay to refuse to accept sucky homemade gifts2024-06-2539 min
Going TerriblyEp. 194: Two Chekhov's Vibrators in a TSA MysteryBoy, does Alice have a tale for you. Travel, mystery, sex, and, for whatever reason, an iPhone 7. Everything you could want from a modern thriller. Well, except the iPhone 7.
Meanwhile, Doug can draw Barney Rubble. You'll have to take his word for it.
Other discussion topics may include:
- How can you tell if you're in your own Fight Club scenario?
- Is art magic?*
- Some really clever jokes about how Mormons have multiple partners
- The compulsive need to...2024-06-1851 min
Going TerriblyEp. 193: Two Old Italian Grandmothers in a Bedsheet FortAlice is still mysteriously coming atcha from afar through the radio airwaves, and Doug is thinking of joining a pasta cult. But oh wait, maybe he already has....
Other discussion topics may include:
- Virginia adventures, featuring both reefer and bird poop madness
- 30-year old mattresses
- Waiting for technology to catch up so society can finally enjoy singing billboards
- Chasing delicious, delicious waterfalls
- How often do you burst out wrestling in real life?2024-06-1149 min
Going TerriblyEp. 190: Two Dali Ants in a Hole You'd Actually Like to Be inAlice is about to leave town for a bit. But the episode won't stop, because of magic.
While she's still here, she and Doug discuss compulsions. They also discuss eating worms and making love to a potato's eye. These are not some of the compulsions. But they could be.
Elsewhere, Alice offers a disappointing Momofukuing story and Doug once again tries to be Steve Harvey.
Other discussion topics may include:
- How can you tell if you were an imp or a bully as a...2024-05-2141 min
Going TerriblyEp. 189: Two White Castle Evangelists in a Yard Sale Newbie MistakeAlice and Doug are different people now. They yard saled away (yard saled away) and will gladly take your trash for the right price. Join them as they celebrate hidden treasures and completely amateur burger grillers in this fresh-as-a-daisy, banana pepisode!
Other discussion topics may include:
- The very popular, very necessary 4-to-1 bird to baby ratio
- Astronaut ice cream soil
- Spicy dragon fruit somethings-or-other
- Grown men's lemonade stands
- IKEA foreskin2024-05-1451 min
Going TerriblyEp. 188: Two Symbolically Long Noodles in a Virtual Trip to TampaIt's Asian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, and this episode is bursting with an incidentally Asian-themed It Went Terribly. Plus Alice and Doug discuss times they've had to call 911 (U.S. only). And just who in the heck was this Leviticus dude??
Other discussion topics may include:
- Are Mr. Rogers and Aaron Neville kind of the same person?
- Some creepy old fellas' unfortunate desire to make women resemble hoofed animals
- Grand Theft Porcine
- Death by art failure
- How was the...2024-05-0747 min
Going TerriblyEp. 187: Two Cookie Dough Rods in a Communal Fridge GaffeAlice has BIG NEWS. Doug has BIG NOODS. Praise Cheeses, hallowed be Thy name.
Other discussion topics may include:
- The right and wrong way to make a chicken apple pie
- Houses with legs: What could they mean?
- A recap of recent foot long foods
- God's disappointment in particular vegan products
- Nearly as much useful information as an average packet of noodles
2024-04-3042 min
Going TerriblyEp. 181: Three Popular Children's Meats in a Conspiracy Theory-ovichDoug and Alice are in da house with special guest, the Artist Formerly Known as The Notorious R.E.D. Gennie Adams. It's a St. Patrick's Day celebration! A couple days late, but games still needed playing and poor Irish accents needed to be heard.
Hear Gennie regale the audience with the tale of how Alice and Doug played passive matchmakers, culminating in Gennie's upcoming nuptials. During which she's officially agreed to play the Going Terribly Games: Home Edition.
Other discussion topics may include:
- How many celebrities are older...2024-03-191h 00
Going TerriblyEp. 179: Two Happy Cheques in a Whole Body JobIs today a great day or a terrible day? Alice and Doug make their respective cases, and they'll let you decide. It really comes down to beach house sex vs. revolutionary massacres.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Chex: Underrated treat or complete waste of time?
- Sex-crazed faeries and White House raccoons
- How to clone old summer camp friends using just an old envelope
- A very topical bit about hip, upcoming band Fleetwood Mac
- A "double release day," so to...2024-03-0556 min
Going TerriblyEp. 174: Two Mid-Grade Summer Campers in a Bathroom Peeing with All Their FriendsHer childhood beginnings have caught up with Alice's present in the cutest way. Meanwhile, Doug has a new obsession with executing corpses.
Together, they recently visited St. Louis (and St. Charles!), Missouri, where they encountered cartwheels, grilled pineapple, and possibly the greatest public restroom of all time.
Other discussion topics may include:
- How much ad libbing can you do while recording audiobooks?
- Another game you can play at home - and probably should - but probably won't
- Bougie things like...2024-01-3058 min
Going TerriblyEp. 172: Two Pig Newtons in a Paul Revere Strip ClubAlice has a huge confession to make. Doug has some assorted fruit and/or savory (not) cookies to pitch. And they're both just hoping to not get Benned over.
Other discussion topics may include:
- A slew of amazing entrepreneury ideas you can feel free to steal
- Mac and cheese socks
- The original French hustlers
- Willy nilly Jabberwockies
- How do they find the perfect frozen lakes to build hockey arenas around?2024-01-1643 min
Going TerriblyEp. 171: Two Perfectly Salted Potato Skins in a Hot Pot Time MachineAlice finally gets her comeuppance for that communal work refrigerator gaffe, and Doug...gets a yellow Starburst??!?! GROSS! OH THE HUMANITY!
Other discussion topics may include:
- American First Lady Voodoo Dolls
- Home security, by means of putrid eggs
- The unspoken benefits of cheese, including not making you poop as much
- Good Pizza, Great Pizza, Salmonella Pizza
- A day-late celebration of spreading some sweet, sweet germs all over the place
2024-01-0957 min
Going TerriblyEp. 170: Four Thrown Burrito Bowls in a 1973 Diaper CommercialCandi and Jason Vincent join Doug and Alice once again for some New Year's festivities. They talk about balls, both dropped and otherwise. As well as planes that everyone darn well hopes don't drop.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Boob gardens and kumquatades
- Have you ever given someone an organ for Valentine's Day?*
- Entirely understandable plagues sent to Texas
- The Great Mailbox Tragedy of 2023
- Bodily fluids: fake, real, and alcoholic
*Don't...2024-01-021h 35
Going TerriblyEp. 169: Four Lords and/or Saviors in a Celebrity Christmas Ice Skating SpectacularAlice and Doug welcome brand new guests Brian Boitano* and Jenna Jameson** into the studio for a single day belated Christmas edition of Going Terribly!
Nude modeling is discussed, so divert the ears of little elves. Games are played, but obviously they don't let Rudolph join in. Balls are devoured, but that's something else entirely.
Other discussion topics may include:
- What do some celebrities have in common with Jesus? (spoiler: it's more than you'd think!***)
- How to buy some old dead guy's books
...2023-12-261h 23
Going TerriblyEp. 163: Four Newly Cannibalistic Hippies in a Communal BeefIt's time for our annual 24-hour Extra Life fundraiser, and you know what that means...
Alice, Doug, Josh, Gennie (and assorted comrades) stay up for an entire day playing video games to support Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis. Yeah, we do this every year, it's pretty self-explanatory. Donate and/or join us... https://unfinisheddynamos.com/
Other discussion topics may include:
- Animals that should really wear pants
- The Great Refrigerator Space Debates of 2023
- FMK: Video Game Edition
- A lot of simulators for stupid things
- Who will have to poop their pants this weekend?2023-11-141h 20
Going TerriblyEp. 155: Two Harmless Flies in a Build-a-Burger WorkshopAlice and Doug discuss the revolutionizing of TV -- from Adam West's holy Batman (or is it Joker?), to Megan Mullaly's mellifluous Karen on Will & Grace, to of course, Jack Black and Jimmy Fallon's shot-for-shot remake of Extreme's "More Than Words" music video, which let's be honest, is NSFW.
Other discussion topics may include:
- An examination of britches, knickers, and bloomers. For ticks.
- Does The Lord of the Flies have more insects or incest?
- How to make a truly terrible escort website profile
...2023-09-1945 min
Going TerriblyEp. 151: Two Manhattan Strangers in a Small, Local Meatpacking PlantThere's a really cool segment this week. Doug is the best at making games. And Alice is the best at playing them. But not this time. Has girl ever even heard of 20 Questions?
Other discussion topics may include:
- Kidney transplant or a Harry and the Hendersons DVD: which is more important to you?
- Fantastic food deals, such as $5 hamburgers and free frogs with your packaged spinach
- Do cities give out literal keys? Or is it, like, certificates, snow globes, and whole hoofs?
...2023-08-2254 min
Going TerriblyEp. 135: Two Heart-Shaped Grenades in a Parole JamYou know how Alice and Doug generally just talk out of their asses? Well, they do their due diligence and correct their falsehoods too. It's time for Dueling It Went Terriblys!
Other discussion topics may include:
- A look at that delicious, salty penguin blood
- When to take away a kid's Switch. And switchblade.
- The vasectomy that ended the Lincoln lineage
- How to file with the National Trademark Homeowners Association
- A glimpse into the anal languages2023-05-0259 min
Going TerriblyEp. 133: Two Energizing Beans in a Time Capsule in the Event of Doug's DeathThis week is a short one because Alice is dead and Doug is dying, and what's gonna happen to the podcast?! Would any of y'all step up to host? Who are we kidding, there's probably a line of you a mile long, vying for these coveted spots. Right? Right???
Other discussion topics may include:
- Coffee Monster vs. Coughie Monster: Which is scarier?
- The birthday of superstars actress Mint Joan Hart and Maeby others
- The Joy of Destroy
- Somehow Riverdale is discussed again2023-04-1837 min
Going TerriblyEp. 111: Two Old-Fashioned Spicy Hermits in a Musical About ChernobylDoug and Alice went to Nashville for Alice's birthday, and of course Alice had to f*ck around and find out if Krystal is superior to White Castle. Oh she's gonna get an earful when she returns home.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Hitting up botanical gardens and destroying hot tubs like celebrities
- How much wood would Woodcheek cheek if Woodcheek was Cheekwood?
- Why your art should always wear sunscreen
- What is the statute of limitations on jaywalking? And can one make...2022-11-1549 min
Going TerriblyEp. 107: Two Sucked Chili Dogs in a Full Service Gas StationAlice has a case of the Melonhead, and now she and Doug can't elope. Wait, what?
Other discussion topics may include:
- An episode dedicated to (yet only briefly mentioning) the NBA
- Getting filed and defiled at the dentist
- Gigantic, hideous face moles and the unfortunate podcast hosts who must hide them
- The seemingly untapped market of cartoon needles in Hollywood
- Dead tissue...down there2022-10-1848 min
Going TerriblyEp. 104: Two Armored Butts in a Hit Film Starring Jack BlackThis is the episode where Alice steals all of Doug's segments.
Not like his thorax or abdomen, but like his bits.
Not his gizzards and giblets, but like his -- oh whatever, just listen and find out.
Other discussion topics may include:
- What is a toy? Is a game a toy? Is a stick a toy? Are you a toy?
- A long overdue 30-second discussion about Connecticut's only city
- National Crush a Can Day (which isn't as lewd and sexy as it...2022-09-2751 min
Going TerriblyEp. 86: Two Frazzled Onions in a Fanny Pack MishapMr. and Ms. Lonely Hearts regale you with tales of solo dining – both embarrassing and triumphant. Alice gets kudos for being an excellent parallel parker, and Doug...ALSO gets kudos...for having a wang large enough to knock over a Great Dane.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Friends who don't like hot chocolate. Or love.
- The world is currently out of apples and we just now noticed.
- The deliciousness of a good old fashioned Irish potato mash fried
- Fitting in spots you sh...2022-05-2445 min
Going TerriblyEp. 78: Two Solid Tweens in an International Potato ShareAlice gets her chompers polished, and Doug relives the trauma that is Homecoming Spirit Week. Semi-Recent Semi-Decent News makes an entrepreneurial return, and SOMEBODY DIES.
Other discussion topics may include:
- What does space cola taste like? Cookies and cream? Cough syrup? Bunny rabbits?
- A tribute to those killed in the 1970s, such as President "Honest" Andrew Lincoln
- What is your favorite flavor of shoe polish?
- How to tell if your dentist knows too much about you
- Guess how many...2022-03-2947 min
Going TerriblyEp. 68: Two Forgotten Cheesecakes in a St. Olaf TraditionThank Doug for Being a Friend! It's Doug's birthday episode, and since yesterday was what would have been Betty White's 100th birthday, Alice devised a saucy gauntlet of Golden Girls-themed games for Doug's Ruby Jubilee (40th birthday)! Hands get cocked. Feet almost get measured. Danger comes quickly. It's a blast.
Please also tune in Saturday 1/22 and play Jackbox with us on our celebratory video game livestream at www.unfinisheddynamos.com!
Other discussion topics may include:
- Popular southern gothic novels, including The Dog That Mauled Britney
...2022-01-1858 min
Going TerriblyEp. 63: Two Tickle Bandits in a Museum of KunstLet's get intimate, shall we? Are you a rowdy sleeper and wake up with limbs all akimbo and pillows strewn all over the bed and whole asscrack hanging out, like Doug? Or are you a vampire and sleep on your back with your arms crossed on your chest and wake your partner up by laughing in your sleep, like Alice (and Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine)?
Tune in for further fascinating discussions on lucid dreaming, night demons, and bed head. (Is "bedhead" one word or two? Do they mean different things depending on which...if you know...2021-12-1448 min
Going TerriblyEp. 61: Two Riverboat Pilots in a Rotation of MeatsIt's almost Alice and Doug's anniversary of the couplins. AND WHY DOES AUTOCORRECT REFUSE TO LET ME SPELL IT THAT WAY?!?!?!
Anyway, they'll celebrate with some high art and low balls and of course, swordfuls of meat brought to their table at regular intervals.
Other discussion topics may include:
- The pure art and sheer brilliance of a sideways urinal
- How pockets should be far more respected in modern society (stop making fun of cargo shorts)
- The fascinating link between Mark Twain, Halley's Comet...2021-11-3036 min
Going TerriblyEp. 60: Two Russian Dolls in an Organ Harvesting GameHave you ever served on a jury? Do you know anyone who has? What about in a restaurant test market or a Gallup poll or the survey of 100 people on Family Feud? Does anyone know anybody who's ever responded to any allegedly significant public opinion research ever? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO HOLD OUR LIVES IN THEIR HANDS?!?!?!
Alice was rejected for Jury Duty again, and Doug unearths a conspiracy about false celebrity birthdays. WE'RE ALL STUCK IN A SIMULATION!!!!
Other discussion topics may include:
- Stasis Mom: The video...2021-11-2344 min
Going TerriblyEp. 58: Two Holland Oats in a Game of Human TetrisTo Alice on Her 37th Birthday... That movie allusion FINALLY makes sense!
Other discussion topics may include:
- Listen, it's Alice's birthday. You don't need any other reasons to listen to this episode. It's her freaking birthday. Be a pal and listen. She's pretty awesome.
[This shameless plea brought to you by Doug, Intern Sean, and Alfredo]2021-11-0957 min
Going TerriblyEp. 55: Three Dream Daddies in a Mobile Spelunking AdventureDigital Dynamo Josh Weiland is back to plug our annual 24-Hour Extra Life livestream where we sit on our asses and play video games all day for charity! Doug also masterminded the most inscrutable word/phonetics game of all time, and we share our shoplifting stories. Come on. Everybody's got one. Or two in Alice's case...
Other discussion topics may include:
- Canada, Blu-Rays, and other made up commodities
- What is YOUR moneymaker? Your face? Your butt? Your dirty, dirty digits?
- Grand murder charges and the i...2021-10-191h 04
Going TerriblyEp. 49: Two Undersized Cucumbers in a Wall-to-Wall Wind TunnelRabbit Rabbit! It's the first episode of September, and boy, do we have some atoning to do. After making some not necessarily false but ultimately misinformed statements throughout August about the Lindbergh Baby, the Saved by the Bell revival, and the Morton Salt company (the very cheek, we know...), Doug and Alice guess at some celebrity ages, invent a new music-themed board game (Doo-wop-oly?), and catalog the extraordinarily prolific, birthday queen Diane Warren's entire discography. Did you all know she wrote Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping"?* Seriously. So prolific!
Other discussion topics may include:
- T...2021-09-071h 05
Going TerriblyEp. 47: Two Caramel Drizzles in an Astronaut DiaperToday is Strange Music Day, so Alice and Doug will take you on a magical musical journey through upbeat songs with sad lyrics, the best genres of music to fight depression and facilitate pooping, how to torture someone with silence, how to torture someone with a theremin, and how to truly be metal. Like Amelia Earhart, who totally assassinated Thomas Edison. That patent-pending turd.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Martian tornadoes and how they're not quite as cool as they sound
- "Hot tuna," "Loose Pipe," "Sticky Cookie," and...2021-08-2453 min
Going TerriblyEp. 45: Two Porch Zucchinis in a Terrible AlibiGoing Terribly is a true crime podcast now. Doug watches a ton of Forensic Files, Disappeared, and Killer Couples (who knew?), and Alice was recently trapped in a car for 9 hours and listened to the entire first season of the Cold podcast (not against her will), so obviously, this whole episode is a grisly dramatization of Ashley Judd's 1999 film, Double Jeopardy.
Other discussion topics may include:
- How to found a college. Or, wait, that should say find. Or....hold on. Which one did we mean?
- Olympic withdrawal, featuring s...2021-08-1054 min
Going TerriblyEp. 44: Two Internal Urethra Sphincters in a Petri Dish of Science DairyAugust is upon us, which means National Ice Cream Month is over. Join Doug and Alice as they pick up the shards of their shattered existence by conquering their childhood fears of killer clowns, anxiety dreams, lyrical abstraction, catfishing scams, and sitting on one's nuts.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Incredibly beautiful songs about infidelity
- Martha Stewart, hot pink buildings, and other pretty fine pieces
- Boxers vs. Briefs: A New Debate
- Terrifying movies, such as Beethoven
- If you started...2021-08-0350 min
Going TerriblyEp. 43: Two Stolen Babies in a Film of a Short StoryWas the Lindbergh Baby ever found? Are the humanoid races from Lord of the Rings still considered "humans" like we're considered humans? Are Counting Crows lyrics actually deep, or are they only deceptively deep?
And does "deceptively deep" mean something is shallower than it seems or deeper than it seems? (There IS a right answer to this...)
All these questions and more in this episode where Doug and Alice show off how much they don't know about anything.
Other discussion topics may include:
- The unexpected and undesirable e...2021-07-2750 min
Going TerriblyEp. 42: Two Sockball Snatchers in a Sex Identity MatrixIn this fast-paced episode, Alice and Doug go *bang zoom* straight to the moon and back with musings on Hogwarts houses, reality dating shows, and sex work destigmatization. Doug also creates some predictive text fortune cookies (in bed), and Alice intricately details the obscure, niche world of international collegiate muggle quidditch.
Honestly, are any of those words even real?
Other discussion topics may include:
- Pink panthers, chocolate frogs, and Twix kittens
- Sexy Beasts and Where to Find Them, by JK Rawring
- Rob Thomas...2021-07-2054 min
Going TerriblyEp. 41: Two Hot-Blooded Foreigners in a Crotch Swat ShowdownYou guys, this episode is adorable. Chock-full of puns, callbacks, and wholesomely embarrassing stories about Doug macing someone in the face and Alice almost drowning in a pool. Bonus Words With Nerds: Pronunciation Edition and a *Giveaway* entailing mac 'n cheese and nudie pics.
Oh wait, adorable? I mean, deplorable...
Other discussion topics may include:
- Cats and the silent treatment: a lesson in futility
- The impossibility and inevitability of having one's belt loop caught on a door handle
- One-handed amateur cancer screenings
2021-07-1347 min
Going TerriblyEp. 38: Two Emotional Support Cicadas in a Burrito SwaddleA terribly adorable episode in which Alice and Doug talk about wholesomely themed parties, friendly insects, giant cozy blankies, nostalgic reality stars, and a wedding reception on Uranus. What?
Other discussion topics may include:
- A jacket full of Stovetop...misunderstanding or brilliant invention?
- Competitive bouquet catching
- Vanna White's spin-off series "Turning That D"
- Are we all just characters inside childhood Alice's dream?
- Just remember, folks. You wipe what you squeeze.
2021-06-2240 min
Going TerriblyEp. 34: Two Popular High-Flying NBA Legends in a Big Brick of Jiggly EggsIt's time for the NBA Playoffs, and Doug has concocted a couple of peachy keen, basketbally games that Alice just...totally nutmegs...on... Am I using that right? There are also absolutely NO SPOILERS about a certain...face-obscured reality singing competition...
Other discussion topics may include:
- How to look like Winnie the Pooh while still being a great basketball player
- A celebration of the mortality of (most of) the living U.S. Presidents
- If you were a multi-millionaire, how much would you be willing to s...2021-05-2549 min
Going TerriblyEp. 33: Two Cunning Linguists in a Sex MuseumDoug and Alice return to their scatological roots in this poopy yet educational episode. Sorry, not sorry.
Other discussion topics may include:
- An education on the most serious of vibrators
- The legend of the Brooklyn Embryo
- How to offend a genie
- The Complete Game of Neil Patrick Harris Abridged
- Defecation vs. Childbirth: An uneducated study of their similarities2021-05-1849 min
Going TerriblyEp. 32: Two Lymph Biscuits in a Cocaine ReductionAlice and Doug toured some White Castles,
In Macho Man gowns, caps, and tassels.
They both flashed their V-cards,
Sent beef down their innards,
And spent all night clenching their a$$h***s.
Last week, Doug and Alice #SetPfizersToStun and recovered by watching #LoveVaxually and making #LymphBiscuits. This week, they get free donuts and beer and write dirty limericks.
Other discussion topics may include:
- A tale of fowl and fleeting fame
- Innards, outards, and other Barack Abominations
- Risking literal...2021-05-1151 min
Going TerriblyEp. 31: Two Yogurt Suppositories in a Macho Commencement CeremonyIts may the 4th. U know what that means. Doug and Alice celebrate better speech and langauge month by singing 'Pomps and Circumstance,' which is in the pubic domain. Who knew? Theres alot of It Went Terribly's and a big reveal about that 'this is your brian on drugs' marijauna commerical to.
Other discussion topics may include:
- How to accidentally(?) borrow heroin from your neighbor
- V-checks, mortorboards, and other topical terms that sound filthier than they are
- Donald Trump vs. China Cat
...2021-05-0448 min
Going TerriblyEp. 30: Two Animatronic Stone Cold Steve Austins in a Small World After AllIn honor of both Going Terribly's 30th episode AND National Tell a Story Day, Doug shares a lovely, traumatic children's book idea about a chicken who befriends a whale that'll make you weep, and Alice wonders if Kay Fabulous would be a good name for a character in that play about pro wrestling that she's never gonna write.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Calling ahead to ask about restrooms, just in case your nails won't work
- Eighth grade accomplishments - Unbelievable then, unrealistic now
- An un...2021-04-2741 min
Going TerriblyEp. 29: Two Teeny Tiny Onions in a Sexy BreadmakerIt's 4/20, and Alice waxes poetic about White Castle's delightful munchies, and Doug definitely, absolutely, incontrovertibly DOES NOT wane at length about Steve Guttenberg and his entire cinematic catalog. Let's just say, it takes...more than two... There's also a chicken salad debate. If you know, you know.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Brains, Eggs, and Frying Pans: The Rachael Leigh Cook Story
- Potential Familial Poltergeists and the Funky Bunch
- Alaska's Hitchcockian wholesale nightmare
- Tossing on your bloody spats and stumbling into a Love Castle
- C...2021-04-2055 min
Going TerriblyEp. 28: Three Downtown Superstars in a Menstruation RefrigeratorHenrietta Jones-Flaherty was an aspiring butter carvist in Evansville 1936. She gained accolades for her butter sculptures, but jealousy amongst insiders and vile ridicule slung by outsiders eventually caused her to suffer an emotional break.
Her husband and mother-in-law soon deemed her unfit for society and boarded her up in the attic, with only dry macaroni for sustenance and a string and tin can phone for communication. Every other Tuesday, her children would go upstairs, and she would make etchings of their time together.
Her ghost can sometimes be heard, emanating through the cracks in the w...2021-04-131h 19
Going TerriblyEp. 27: Two Hemogoblins in a Weighted Blanket of PeopleAlice almost but doesn't win a prestigious playwriting award, and Doug almost but doesn't legally change his name to the name of a food in order to get a lifetime supply of said food. YET.
Other discussion topics may include:
- How the Swedes turn trash into food made out of trash
- Wives who are making obituaries fun again
- The truth about red meat and chocolate being superior to spinach and other vegetables
- Do you have a ghost? Or just a failing temple? ...2021-04-0636 min
Going TerriblyEp. 26: Two Half-Eaten Sausages in a Pool of Bean DipIt's time for a virtual vacation, so don't go anywhere! Just listen to Doug and Alice talk about strapping themselves into a sweaty VR headset to perform boring, everyday tasks such as kickboxing, flipping burgers, and chauffeuring creepy old men around town. Oh wait, that last one was real life. They should really make an Uber VR game. 5 out of 5 stars would recommend...
Other discussion topics may include:
- A possible confession to aiding and/or abetting in a drug deal
- Which words for vagina are *you* least comfortable saying?
2021-03-3051 min
Going TerriblyEp. 24: Two Service Humans in a Supreme SacrificeIt's Spring Break, bitches. Doug and Alice go out of town and get schwasted on Bosnian food and boozy ice cream, respectively. Then they return to discuss heady issues like hostile architecture against the homeless, moral imperatives of the vegan lifestyle, and how long before the Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson comes out with the People's Vaccine.
Other discussion topics may include:
- The crappy recycling of a conversation about a drink that recycles crap
- What is the most money you've ever spent on mac and cheese at one time?2021-03-1652 min
Going TerriblyEp. 23: Two Pounds of Flesh in a Meatball Sub CostumeWelp. It has finally happened. Twenty-three episodes in, and Doug and Alice discuss whether or not they would actually eat human flesh. And not just eat any old human flesh, but like go to a niche (legal) restaurant and have a meal curated by a live human specimen who'll then carve off part of their own buttock or something.
Other discussion topics may include:
- A multitude of perfectly legal ways to dispose of a dead body
- Touching dogs "down by the river"
- Where do you p...2021-03-0950 min
Going TerriblyEp. 22: Two Failing Temples in an Underground Kidney RingHere they come to wreck the day! Doug and Alice reflect on morality, art, and the sins of our forebears, and the crock that is chiropractic medicine, and toxic metals in baby food, and dear lord, is anything good anymore?!
Other discussion topics may include:
- The historical significance of Marie Antoinette's role in Alice in Wonderland
- Exploring the differences between vaginal and clitoral sneezes
- How to stay out of situations where your head might explode
- There's something in the notes that just says "bear semen"...so en...2021-03-0242 min
Going TerriblyEp. 21: Two Sorority Sisters in a Bin of Marshmallow Fluffal1c3 and d0ug d1sh 4b0ut r3tr0 vid30 g4mes, s0r0r17y h4z1ng, s3xually 3xpl1c1t n0v3ls, ge771ng p13d 1n th3 fac3, and 0f c0urs3, murd3r-su1c1d3. Sever4l pl0ts 0f sever4l p0p cultur3 phen0men4 g3t sp0il3d, but h3y, d0n'7 b3 such a n00b. Y0u kn3w what y0u w3r3 ge771ng 1nt0 w1th th3s3 tw0 pwn3rs. w00t.
Translation: Alice and Doug are t...2021-02-231h 01
Going TerriblyEp. 20: Three Beefy Pinkies in a Head Massage ChainHave you decided what you're giving up for Lent? Milk? Bread? Warm weather? We are definitely not second-guessing Punxsutawney Phil today... Snowpocalypse is nigh, so cure your VD hangover with a little hair of the dog, and cuddle up with our good friend, first guest, top fan, and birthday boy, Josh Weiland!
Gamemaster Doug has concocted a clean slate of dirty games, and Cat Whisperer Alice will attempt to keep Alfredo from mounting anyone's Bakula.
Other discussion topics may include:
- An incomplete oral history of U.S. Vice Presidents and their r...2021-02-161h 12
Going TerriblyEp. 18: Two Groundhog Shadows in an Obscure Ted Danson VehicleHello listener. This is your wake-up call. Every day of your working life, you have stumbled around like a zombie, listening to the same true crime podcasts you've consumed for the past decade. Now YOU are the cause of your own existential ennui.
Your aim in this game is to check out Doug and Alice's podcast. You have...a lot of time to do it in. There are carefully curated social media accounts for you to follow too. When there's this much laughter, poop jokes, and highbrow tangents on the airwaves, the only thing left to do i...2021-02-021h 03
Going TerriblyEp. 17: Two Well-Dressed Hobos in an Award-Winning RestroomIt's a great day for a great day. Alice talks loooong and hard about Dungeons, Dragons & Beyond -- yep, we're doing that kind of podcast now -- and Doug takes us on a side quest through the wonders of peanut brittle, green juice, and Jungle Jim's -- the biggest grocery store-cum-tourist attraction in the world. Yeah, we used the traditional, dictionary definition of cum, what of it?
Other discussion topics may include:
- How to properly orchestrate a draft for your fantasy marathon team
- The importance of having fun, even when you’re no...2021-01-2645 min
Going TerriblyEp. 16: Two Eagle-Eyed Cherries in a Birthday Cake BashColors of the world, Doug up your life.
Every boy and every girl, Doug up your life.
People of the world, Doug up your life.
aaaAAAHHH!!!!
It's Doug's birthday episode, and Alice has prepared a raucous gauntlet of Spice Girls-themed games...for no reason at all.
Other discussion topics may include:
- How not to make a game show video game
- The long awaited return of KÄKwords
- Baby's Mad Doug Story Time
- The lost art of sliming ostriches
...2021-01-191h 00
Going TerriblyAnother Very Terrible MinisodeAlice and Doug will return on Tuesday, January 19th for Doug's special birthday epic! But before that, for this second abbreviated edition of the show, they've handed the keys to the Going Terribly-mobile over to Intern Sean. Can he write a wildly comedic script that will have you doubling over in laughter as he has promised?* You'll have to listen to find out!
*I mean, probably not, right? Dude has a hard time remembering to wear pants to work.2021-01-1206 min
Going TerriblyA Very Terrible MinisodeAlice and Doug are taking a little bitty two-week break and will return promptly on Tuesday, January 19th with a special episode for Doug's birthday! To hold you over, here is the first of two "Minisodes" (it means "mini episode" - we promise) where our two hosts will fill everyone in on what they'll be doing over the break. 2021-01-0504 min
Going TerriblyEp. 15: Two Burnliments in a Seven-Year ItchDoug and Alice get a bit pensive for this retrospective (retrospectus?) episode by recounting the highlights and lowlights of 2020 (high: that one painting of a girl laughing at a painting of a butt; low: solipsistic fibrosis) that led to the very creation of Going Terribly -- ultimately discovering that things might not be going so terribly after all :)
Alice even surprises Doug with a multiple choice New Year's movie quote game! Spoiler Alert: the D's are always dirty.
Other discussion topics may include:
- The highlights of 2020. Including - and al...2020-12-2959 min
Going TerriblyEp. 14: Three Jizzle Balls in a Swirled Shaft Vasectomy (A Very Terrible Christmass™)'Twas the episode before Christmas, when all through the sludge,
Not a vulgarity was spared, not even a "fudge";
The mockings were flung around the leg lamp with glee,
In hopes that our guest Wendy wouldn't turn tail and flee;
The children jeered as they beat poop from a log,
While visions of horse skulls danced in their nogs;
And Douglas Fir in his walrus shirt, and I in my elf cap,
Had just readied our colons for a long winter's crap;
Then came Intern Sean, spilling cocoas with a splatter,2020-12-221h 13
Going TerriblyEp. 11: Two Winning Powerballs in a Banana HammockOn the heels of a wicked Pranksgiving hangover, Doug and Alice discuss gentler, milder topics such as feng shui, American Girl Dolls, tax-free groceries, local filmmakers, and the timeless tunes of Tom Jones.
Really?
Yeah, but no, not really.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Pent up Bible dudes
- How to summon your pet Predator
- When 32 inches is too small and when it's way too much
- Cannibalistic restaurant mascots
- Possible B&J regrets. And if that s...2020-12-0143 min
Going TerriblyEp. 10: Two Turkey Hand Jobs in a Plane, Train, and/or AutomobileRelease the Piecaken! It's Thanksgiving week, and Doug and Alice have crankstaken the shenanigans up to 11. Gird your sirloins for some long and uncomfortable ASMR, as well as a biblical digression about seed-spilling. Talk about Wanksgiving, amirite?
Then tune into YouTube on Wednesday for Going Terribly's PRANKSGIVING VIDEO SPECIAL in which Doug and Alice take the best parts of Thanksgiving -- the food and the loved ones -- and add a dash of poonkin spice. Seven households (some more alike in dignity than others) face off in a Showcase Showdown with abominable concoctions at Chez Doug.
2020-11-2439 min
Going TerriblyEp. 9: Two Tater Twisters in a Heated Facebook DebateIn honor of Pranksgiving next week, Alice and Doug share their best, wholesome prank stories that may or may not involve knights, potatoes, grand larceny, douching, flaccidity, tickling, butterballs, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and fomentation of insurrection via social media.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Contact Death
- Contact Death 2: Electric Deathaloo
- Contact Death 3: Potato Storm
- Contact Death 4: Moms Gone Wild
- In retrospect, there should have been a fifth Contact Death instead of so much talking about Hanson
2020-11-1738 min
Going TerriblyEp. 8: Two Skid Marks in a Pair of ErmahgerdsOn November 10, 1810, George Jennings, inventor of the first flush toilet, was born.
On November 10, 2020, Alice Shen, co-host of Going Terribly, will probably wreck a flush toilet after eating a tortilla chip bedeviled with Carolina Reaper pepper, Scorpion Pepper, and Sichuan Peppercorn. Why? Cuz she's an utter abomination, and it's her birthday. That's why.
Visit Chez Doug to learn about other questionable things that happened on this day in history, and then go to our socials to catch our first video segment wherein Alice and three lucky friends undergo the Paqui #OneChipChallenge. Bring a bucket and...2020-11-1047 min
Going TerriblyEp. 7: Two True Americans in a Vicious MotorboatIt's 90s week, and the floor is nostalgia! Alice confesses that she never finished reading Watership Down in the eighth grade, and Doug reveals that he prefers *NSYNC over Backstreet Boys. They talk picture books, past presidents, animated feature films, and that awkward Millennial stage of being intimidated by both young children and adultier adults.
And guess who's back! Maddie (Alice and Doug's hypothetical foster cow) makes a reappearance to discuss the merits of Heifer International, a real charity run by Pierre U. Ferrari (sounds fake to me...) that sponsors farm animals (including but not limited to...2020-11-0349 min
Going TerriblyGoing Terrorly (A Very Terrible Halloween): Three Sentient Blobs of Meat in a Haunted IKEAIt is a dark and stormy night. A gravelly voiced man sits by the fire, eating a peanut butter sandwich...
But not just ANY peanut butter sandwich --- a HONEY ROASTED peanut butter sandwich...
But not just ANY honey roasted peanut butter sandwich --- a SENTIENT honey roasted peanut butter sandwich...on ARTISANAL BREAD!!!
And it's screaming! THE NUTS ARE SCREAMING!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAWIOUW*!*$)#$(!@#H$@%QTY#(UHHOIU.
Alice and Doug welcome horror aficionado Kevin Roach for a bonus Halloween episode full of ghoulish games and scary...2020-10-301h 08
Going TerriblyEp. 6: Two Hood Ornaments in a Hallmark Christmas MovieDouble, Double, Boil and Trouble! Doug accidentally drinks shower water during a boil advisory. Alice nearly burns her house down while boiling a pot of water to sanitize her menstrual cup. They’re clearly not ready to manage their own Home Depot. Or murder the Scottish king, usurp the throne, and get these bloodstains out by Halloween.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Men, women, and their disparate associations with hoods
- Christmas themed horror movies. With snakes.
- How to use your phone to strengthen your pelvic floor ...2020-10-2751 min
Going TerriblyEp. 5: Three Safe Words in a Bed of Nails SandwichThe dastardly duo contemplate getting matching tattoos after a series of unfortunate events: Doug regrets investing in artisanal beads; Alice pines after an unattainable hurdy-gurdist in Winnipeg; they welcome Josh Weiland to the poo’dcast but somehow don’t make any 3-way jokes.
There’s also legit information about the Extra Life gaming fundraiser to benefit Riley Hospital for Children. How about a tattoo commemorating 25 hours of non-stop gaming together. They’ll definitely...not want to remember that.
Other discussion topics may include:
- Pumpkin Addiction: The Unspoken Pandemic
- A th...2020-10-201h 19
Going TerriblyEp. 4: Two Cavernous Buttcracks in a Pant-Based EateryAlice has an existential crisis and considers a career change into the audiobook narration industry. Doug can’t remember when he last hugged someone, and it’s slowly murdering him. They finally learn what gluten is. This week’s episode gets real, y’all.
Other discussion topics may include:
- An examination of very important world records, such as cucumber eating
- Vegan treats and the accidental ASMR that accompanies them
- A celebration of their millions of listeners*
- The anal retentiveness and inventiveness of the elderly
- Thei...2020-10-131h 08
Going TerriblyEp. 3: Two Hard Snacks in a Panty-Filled Vending MachineOn this episode of To Outsmuck a Smucker, Doug channels his best Orson Welles and reads a diary entry from The Uncrustables -- a neo-noir adapted from a gothic novel. Alice accompanies with some questionable impressions of Crustopher Walken and Jammy Stewart. They also decide to adopt a baby cow, name her Maddie, raise her for eighteen months, then take her out for ribs. Wait. Her ribs? Or just ribs?
Other discussion topics may include:
- Ice(landic s)cream therapy
- See-through lavatories and other provocative rooms
- Co...2020-10-061h 00
Going TerriblyEp. 2: Two WAPpetizers in a Self-Cleaning OvenDoug expounds upon the social mores of pandemic dating and questions the role of unlimited chips and salsa in group dining situations. Alice confuses bukkake with bunraku (Japanese puppet theatre) and learns how to preheat and clean her lady-oven.
And urine luck! There’s also a fan-sourced DJ contest for 11 WHOLE DOLLARS and a new segment called “It Went Terribly” where we fact-check the previous episode for inaccuracies, of which there are many…
Other discussion topics may include:
- Renting warehouses for scandalous means
- Beauties, Beasts, and Paul New...2020-09-2953 min
Going TerriblyEp. 1: Two Pees in a PoodcastIn their premiere episode, Doug sings the praises of an environmentally-friendly feminine hygiene product and ponders the aerodynamics and moral turpitude of passengers on a hypothetical euthanasia coaster. Alice tosses a salad and debates what size knife is best for big kids at the pool.
Other discussion topics may include:
- A desire to wax, poetic and otherwise
- The birth of a jingle - which is way less messy than human birth
- Ebenezer Scrooge and other questionable impressions
- The nutritional value and potential h...2020-09-2255 minGoing TerriblyTEASERAlice and Doug have a podcast. Here's a context-free minute of nonsense to prove they know how to speak into a microphone.2020-09-1500 min