Shows
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 3, Episode 7: WWF ReviewitudeConsistent release schedule? Never heard of her. It's time to review WWF Attitude! There's 2 kinds of wrestling games, and this is the one only half the guys like. There's a power trip about sucking at your job and all the filler you've all come to know and love.
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2021-10-231h 36
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 3, Episode 6: Army Men: Air ReviewBack with a fresh episode of the feel good hit of the summer, Army Men: Air Combat. The guys get back in the swing of things, reviewing games in the face of the apocalypse so you can make the informed decision to not play Quest 64.
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2021-08-231h 20
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 3, Episode 5: NHL Reviewaway 98After a long hiatus the boys are back in town! This review of NHL Breakaway 98 was recorded a couple months ago, but it's still relevant in the sense it's a review of a 20 year old sports game! Anyway, more episodes coming, let's GOOOOO!
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2021-08-151h 27
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 3, Episode 4: MegaReview 64Back to the N64 reviews! It's Mega Man 64! This episode has more swears than usual! It also gets vaguely political in the Power Trip. There's also the entire very annoying Mega Man cartoon theme song! He's a fighting robot y'all! Music credit at the end of episode is the hip hop group DAM, song is Handcuff Them War Criminals.
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2021-05-231h 22
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 3, Episode 3B: New Pokemon Snap impressionsMike's house has the COVID, so the review this week is our impressions of the New Pokemon Snap! Does it hold up to the original? The guys compare it categorically the only way they know how: through authoritatively subjective opinions! Pro podcasters, pro game reviewers, pro pokemon photographers.
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2021-05-0450 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 3, Episode 3: Pokereview SnapSeason 3 coming in hot with a divisive classic, Pokemon Snap. Alvin talked the game up a lot, but how does it hold up? Well, this is the review, so, you know, listen to it. We got a POWERTRIP that's oddly on theme for the episode.
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2021-04-191h 25
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 3, Episode 2: Review Pool 64Are you big into billiards? Why? Anyway, this is a very serious review of a very serious pool game. There is also talk about future projects nobody wants. Anyway, here's the review of Virtual Pool 64
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2021-04-121h 12
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 3, Episode 1: Tom Clancy's Reviewbo SixSeason 3 is upon you, and it's extra tactical with Rainbow Six. We got the same great taste with less filler. Or more filler. We haven't decided. Wanna fight about it?
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2021-04-051h 23
Pharaoh WizardsThe Idiotic Hand of the Free Market: a Mad Mike's Cash Money Buy Sell productionAlvin didn't play the game, so instead of season 3 we are doing a new bonus episode about some of the movers and shakers in the N64 world. What's gone up, what's gone down, and now right were the reviews? Find out!
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2021-03-2936 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2 Wrap Up: The Snyder CutSeason 2 is done, but apparently the wizards aren't. The guys talk about where we are, where we been, where we are going, and also some movie talk, heavily featuring what could be the second worst German.
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2021-03-221h 14
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 20: Season Finale, Majora's ReviewTwo seasons down and ending with a legend, Majora's Mask! Justin joins us again for a technical difficulty free 3rd look at one of the all time greats, and there's definitely gonna be pizza content. See ya in Season 3!
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2021-03-081h 34
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 19: FIFA Review 64Another week, another sports game with 64 in the title, FIFA Soccer 64. Or football if you aren't American. There's a Power Trip about being mad brought to you by DMX
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2021-02-221h 11
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 18: Disney's Tigger's Honey ReviewThe most wonderful thing about Tiggers, are Tiggers get video games! You're really about to listen to a review about a Winnie the Pooh game. You really are a Top Fan. There's a power trip about liking things.
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2021-02-151h 36
Pharaoh WizardsBonus episode: Fun With WeaponsThis episode is partially created by you, the fans! The guys are talking about theirs and your favorite weapons from video games.
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2021-02-0800 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 17: Review ParkOh my god! They reviewed South Park! The guys review a big time slice of nostalgia and there is a motivating Power Trip. Don't let your dreams be dreams.
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2021-02-011h 28
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 16: Madden Reviewty NineThe years of Madden start coming and presumably won't start coming in this latest episode. It's Madden 99. If you're new to football games, well, this is one of em. New POWERTRIP with artificial crowd noise.
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2021-01-251h 41
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 15: Ready 2 Review BoxingLet's get ready to reviiiiiiieeeeeww Ready 2 Rumble boxing. This episode is full of Dreamcast talk, the guys plug things, and Alvin coups a POWERTRIP.
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2021-01-181h 24
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 14: Review of FortuneThis week's review solves the puzzle of whether or not Wheel of Fortune is a video game or not. There's also a fake POWERTRIP about made up stuff.
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2021-01-111h 35Pharaoh WizardsBonus episode: The worst gifts money can buyKicking off the new year talking about bad video game gifts based off of "listener" contributions! Also some common sense tips to not gift poorly.
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2021-01-0457 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 13: Monster Review Madness 64SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY...well, Monday, the guys review Monster Truck Madness 64. There's a dinosaur sized POWERTRIP, and everyone gets real Piss Pissedofferson about being professional podcasters with a formula.
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2020-12-281h 17
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 12: WCW ReviewtroTime for rasslin! This week is all about the not goodest wrestling game on a system full of great ones: WCW Nitro. New POWER TRIP about how you should take your coffee. Also more talking words than you can possibly comprehend.
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2020-12-211h 21Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 11: Mace the Dark ReviewBack to the reviews! This week is Mace the Dark Ages, a mash up of soul calibur and mortal kombat and not as good as either. We got a power trip about the things you like and probably a lot of other things too. Or not. But maybe. Unless...
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2020-12-071h 14Pharaoh WizardsBonus Episode: Infinite Improbability Game Generator 64Super special bonus episode, the guys invite Shadow Wizard Justin aka Vibrolux/Justin4Now to test how many games the guys have actually played from a random list. Much fun and there's a power trip on the line for the winner. *DISCLAIMER* Recording gets a little out of sync towards the end of every segment. We don't know why this happened, blaming Anchor for this one, but it took a long time to record and just throw out, so it's happening. Another review for Mace: the Dark Age coming next week.
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2020-11-3000 minPharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 10: Disney's ReviewzanLong anticipated review of literally everyone's favorite N64 game of all time, Disney's Tarzan. The guys taunt Phil Collins, there's a lot of worm banter, and Dr. Feelaverage debuts his hit single, Call Me Maybe. Half way done with a season y'all!
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2020-11-2300 minPharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 9: Tony Hawk's Pro ReviewerThe guys take on the timeless classic Tony Hawk's Pro Skater in a messy, chaotic, very professional review. Our first post apocalypse episode!
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2020-11-0900 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 8: Big Review 2000Get ready for winter with a review of Big Mountain 2000, one of far too many mediocre snowboarding games on this console. The guys got a new POWER TRIP about glue, we look for new sponsors, and talk about drinking poison.
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2020-11-0200 minPharaoh WizardsMad Mike's Buy/Sell Cash Money ExtravaganzaInternational buy selling! Fun and games for all! Spend your money and stimulate the economy! Commerce! Capitalism!
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2020-10-3000 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 7: Midway's Greatest Review Hits Vol. 1Last week was pretty cool huh? Best game to date. Those were the days. But not today. Today is Midway's Greatest Arcade Hits Volume 1. Join this struggle session and stay for the banter, a Power Trip about rules, and learn about Mike's Netflix viewing habits.
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2020-10-3000 minPharaoh WizardsMad Mike's Cash Money Buy/Sell Extravaganza week of 10/18Gaàaaaaaaaaaames and money, money and gaaaaaaaaaaames. More tips for what to buy and sell in the n64 world.
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2020-10-2200 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 6: NBA Showtime Review on NBCThis week we review NBA Jam except that's not what it's called but it's exactly that and it's a good thing. Another tie review score means another positive power trip, and the boys pitch their billion dollar ideas to everyone as very professional podcasters.
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2020-10-2000 minPharaoh WizardsMad Mike's Cash Money Buy/Sell Extravaganza week of 10/11More games to buy, more games to sell, what's not to love? We missed a whole week episode so this is a little sumpin sumpin to tide you over.
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2020-10-1500 minPharaoh WizardsMad Mike's Cash Money Buy/Sell Extravaganza week of 10/4Money money money money, Mike gives recommendations on a heavy hitter this week
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2020-10-0700 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 5: ReviewTanxWhat do your you get when you combine Children of Men, Mad Max, Fallout, with an average shooter and put them all in a tank? Find out from this review of BattleTanx! Also Alvin challenges Russel Crowe to a sword fight and Mike challenges Jack Nicholson to a bike race.
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2020-10-0500 minPharaoh WizardsMad Mike's Cash Money Buy/Sell Extravaganza week of 9/27You know the deal, Mike gives you market advice, you share our podcast, we make a nickel. It's all gravy, baby.
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2020-09-3003 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Epidosde 4: Top Gear ReviewGetting down in the dirt for this review of Top Gear Rally for N64. No it's not the British Top Gear. The guys talk about linguistics, how not to get scammed, and we stab in a direction again.
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2020-09-281h 17Pharaoh WizardsMad Mike's Cash Money Buy/Sell Extravaganza week of 9/20Don't be a sucker, check out Mike's N64 market advice!
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2020-09-2303 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 3: Winback: Covert ReviewThis week is the painfully average and influential game Winback: Covert Operations. We got a tie on score so we get dual power trip, we riff on our favorite N64 era TV shows, and talk about whatever.
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2020-09-211h 14Pharaoh WizardsMad Mike's Cash Money Buy/Sell Extravaganza week of 9/13We offered to play all the games so you don't have to, but if you insist on playing yourself, Mike has some tips on playing the market this week so you don't get burned over paying, as well as some games worth cashing out on.
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2020-09-1604 min
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 2: Rocket, Review on WheelsA favorite game that nobody remembers comes on the chopping block this week with Rocket Robot on Wheels and Mike gets the sports bug on a new Power Trip
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2020-09-141h 06
Pharaoh WizardsSeason 2, Episode 1: Aeroreviewers AssaultYou didn't ask for it but we delivered anyway! Season 2 is here and we continue this odyssey with Aerofighters Assault. Join us in the danger zone as we attack copyright laws, challenge everyone to a duel, and scheme ways to meet Rihanna by stealing from her. There's a video game review here too.
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2020-09-071h 20
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 2: Conker's Bad Review Day-Live and ReloadedWe heard you (and you couldn't hear us), so we are going harder and deeper on Conkers Bad Fur Day. Did our opinions change? Hell no. But we re recorded this episode so now you can hear us talk about this beloved N64 game. Whether this is your first time or you have been with us from the start, this episode is now new and improved.
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2020-08-301h 13Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 22: The Finale 2: Electric BoogalooTechnical difficulties with first publish, now we are back for finale attempt 2. Our first season in the books! This episode is a recap with our good friend and shadow wizard of the Pharaoh Wizards Justin, and we also talk about our favorite cheating games for cheaters. Thanks for tagging along with us on the first leg of this adventure and we look forward to recording the next like...150 seasons? 😵
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2020-08-101h 07
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 21: Hexen, Beyond ReviewiticOur final review of the season is a port of a PC Doom clone, Hexen. Alvin tries to let fate do the review via tarot cards, Mike adds crickets to the episode, we go masks out for COVID in a new Power Trip, and we eat all the cheesecakes, but we aren't sorry, because they were very delicious cheesecakes
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2020-08-021h 05
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 20: F1 Pole Review 64Episode 20 is a review of the absurdly popular formula 1 game F1 Pole Position 64. This review is for all humons. There are lots of humon related things here. It's not for robots.
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2020-07-3057 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 19: Knockout Review 2000Float like a butterfly, sting like a butterfly with a knife, it's Knockout Kings 2000! This review is chaotic. It also has Hobo Johnson discourse. One away from episode 20!
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2020-07-251h 06
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 18: Star Soldier Vanishing ReviewPew pew pew! This episode is about a game you never heard of, but probably should. We discuss the differences between bestiary and beastiality, we got a new Power Trip based on sound advice by Life Guru Alvin, and we are back on our bullshit about car batteries and crime.
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2020-07-121h 09
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 17: 007, The Review is Not EnoughFinally it's 007! Wait...this isn't Goldeneye. Sigh. We got our first double POWER TRIP, a tribute to the comedy stylings of Mitch Hedberg. Absolutely no doctor jokes.
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2020-07-1053 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 16: Rugrats in Paris The Movie The Game The ReviewEpisode 16 is another cartoon based game with a surprising secret: its not total garbage! Mike can't stop bringing up soda, Joy-cons become Rage-cons in a new Power Trip, and we celebrate the greatest cover song of all time.
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2020-06-291h 01
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 15: Twisted Edge Extreme ReviewingThis week we review the 2nd best snowboarding game on N64, we rage at the sun, Elon Musk gets called out again, and we make 7 up yours.
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2020-06-291h 09
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 14: Power Puff Girls Review X-tractionThis week we take a big dose of chemical X and take on the only PPG on N64. There's talk about Hot Topic, we formally invite Jonathon Davis or the band Rammstein to the show, Mike tells people they don't know what they got on a new POWER TRIP, and UPS gets in the crosshairs.
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2020-06-2956 min
Pharaoh WizardsPharaoh Wizards Service Announcement: How to ID a phony cartridgeNo review this week, but an important episode. The Wizards give you the run down on how to identify counterfeit cartridges, offer to sell your shit for a dollar, and make amends with Chicago. Look out Peoria, you're up next!
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2020-06-2946 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 13: All-Review Baseball 2001This episode has the Wizards far apart in scores which leads us down a nostalgia rabbit hole, former NFL kicker Chris Jacke gets called out for either being or not being racist, the power trip takes a serious tone, and it's 187 on an undercover cop. There's also a review for All-Star Baseball 2001
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2020-06-291h 08
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 12: Destruction Reviewby 64, now with bonus content built in!Another day, another path of mayhem and destruction as we review Destruction Derby 64! In this one we wax poetic about better car mayhem games, we roll coal all over truck owners in a new Power Trip, we record for about 20 minutes too long so attached is a mini bonus episode that has NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH THE GAME, and we thank our fan.
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2020-06-291h 08
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 11: Rampage 2 Universal Review feat. PVTOh no, there goes Tokyo...and Rio...and Beijing...and Chicago...go go Pharaoh Wizards! This week we review Rampage 2: Universal Tour, we have very special guest Tony the 2nd from Player vs Trivia, we discuss the Windy City and Mike has a Power Trip about condiments and fine dining. Smash that listen button and check out PVT wherever you listen to us.
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2020-05-1748 minPharaoh WizardsBonus Episode: the Worst Best of N64 Fan SurveyMike's meming finally got the attention he craves when he posted a meme asking which popular game people would get rid of. Like 100 people answered. 100 people don't even listen to our podcast. So we spend an hour yelling at people who will never know. Also at the end we reveal our single hypothetical patreon tier.
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2020-05-1054 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 10: NH...uhhh...L'review 99?Hello out there, we're on the air, it's hockey night tonight! NHL 99 is the first and only EA hockey entry on N64 and we get to pick it apart. Also we have a GOAT Power Trip at the end, so stick around for 30 seconds of pure sports fury
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2020-05-0343 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 9: Reviewy Kong 64MONKEYS AREN'T DONKEYS! This week we take a look at the ape, the myth, the legend Donkey Kong 64. We got lots to say about it, as well as a brand new Power Trip about the finer points of mic etiquette in online games. We had a whole hoard of golden bananas worth of opinions on this game, so it's our longest episode yet.
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2020-04-2651 minPharaoh WizardsBonus episode: Surviving COVID-64Taking a break from your regularly schedule broadcast to talk a little bit about retro gaming in the age of coronavirus. Topical!
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2020-04-1933 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 8: Penny ReviewersPenny Racers is...well...its a game. It's about toy cars. But not micro machines. Join us as we pick apart this bland piece of Japanese culture and pine for a better game. Stick around till the end and enjoy our newest segment Power Trip. Hopefully this episode is more exciting for you than this game was for us.
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· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
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2020-04-1238 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 7: NFL Review Club 98Missing Football season yet? Join us as we Joe Buck the hell out of NFL QB Club 98. This episode is our longest yet and full of useless trivia we vaguely remember about the late 90's NFL. It's like Chris Collinsworth but we half know what we are talking about.
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· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
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2020-04-0541 minPharaoh WizardsFan Mail volume oneOur first user feedback! Friend of the pod Waterloo Flu tries to drag Two Long Farts on his Patriots fandom, and we shoot the shit about how we got to our fave NFL teams. Not really about games, but it's about us. Send us a message on Anchor or FB if you want us to respond to anything about the podcast!
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2020-04-0408 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 6: Reviewerboy 64Extra! Extra! Read all about it. Episode 6 is tearing out the coupons of the N64's version of Paperboy. Can 3D graphics improve on a classic? Can a single joystick control a bicycle and aim papers at the same time? Probably not. Stick around and find out.
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2020-03-2937 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 5: Review-GOn a post apocalyptic earth, the only form of entertainment is reviews of robot motorcycle racing. It's not Tron. It's not Mad Max. It's EXTREME-G
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2020-03-2237 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 4: WCW/NWO ReviewTime to get with the madness! WCW/NWO Revenge is too hot to handle, too cold to hold, and when you hit that ring the madness will just overcome you. Feel the MEGA POWERS INTO THE IONOSPHERE OH YEEEEEEEAH!
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2020-03-1530 min
Pharaoh WizardsEpisode 3: Review'n USAWhat goes up must come down, and this episode is a downer as we tackle trash arcade port Cruis'n USA. All apologies to Gary, Indiana and the fine state of Iowa. No cows were harmed in the reviewing of this game.
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2020-03-0829 min
Pharaoh WizardsThe pilot episodeThis is the first episode! Why are we playing Nintendo 64 games? Why are we pharaohs and/or wizards? We try to find out and rationalize it (or mostly try to justify 2 Long Farts buying all the games). The next episode will be better. For now, courage.
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2020-02-2422 min