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Cracked SpinesSunrise on the Reaping/The Ballad of Songbirds and SnakesAre we in the cultural zeitgeist yet? This week, Cyrus and Sarah cover Sunrise on the Reaping AND The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins, the two latest Hunger Games novels, both of which are prequels to the original trilogy. Did our intrepid readers kind of forget how brutal these books can get? Yeah a little bit. But if we've learned anything from the Animorphs episodes, Cyrus and Sarah love it when teenagers experience inconceivable horrors. Also discussed are the comings and goings of tiny animals in our house, the fallout of the book-reading challenge thunderdome, and...2025-05-0658 minCracked SpinesREADING DEATH PACT THUNDERDOME ULTIMATE SHOWDOWNRESULTS ARE IN, FOLKS. In the past month, Sarah and Cyrus made a bet to see who could read the most books out of their combined TBR piles. Sarah is a super fast reader with one day a week to functionally dedicate to churning through books; Cyrus is an absolute competitive maniac who would rather destroy their body and mind rather than lose. The stakes: either financial ruin for Cyrus, or automotive ruin for Sarah. Two men enter; one man leaves (with their dignity, at least). Support the show2025-04-2255 minCracked SpinesTBR Pile Death PactOkay, maybe it's not a death pact. More of a "financially ruinous" pact for Cyrus specifically. But with the stakes on the table, they're more than willing to dive in. And with how annoying Cyrus is in this episode, Sarah is happy to crush them beneath capitalism's bootheel. But this is mostly, theoretically, not an episode about engaging in potentially friendship-ending contests of reading might. Mostly it's about the cool books we've read, the cool books we want to read, and the fact that Cyrus utterly eviscerated Sarah in a word count competition and will never let h...2025-03-241h 05Cracked SpinesSarah's Bummer of an Extended Vacation: The 2025 Oregon Healthcare StrikeHey, everyone! Sarah is one of the thousands of unionized healthcare workers on strike in Oregon. At their last job, Cyrus saw how hard a company will work to destroy a union. Let's do some labor chatting.This is a different episode than usual. We've been thinking about doing some extra episodes on our off weeks about stuff, and this episode? Well, I'm not sure it's the best example of our ideas for what the interstitial episodes will look like, but by god it's sure not about books. Click here to donate to the strike f...2025-02-1958 minCracked SpinesA Memory Called Empire by Arkady MartineWe are pleased to announce this is NOT an episode about Mortal Kombat. You might be surprised at the challenge that presented. It is, however, an episode about the phenomenal science fiction political thriller, A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine! Sarah and Cyrus discuss the challenges and delights that such a complex world presents, and Sarah definitely doesn't struggle to say the word "imago" even a little bit. Next up, catch our end-of-year wrap-up episode, followed shortly by the long awaited David arc of the Animorphs series! And yes, there will be a Mortal Kombat bonus e...2024-12-1751 minCracked SpinesDanmei Beatdown!!This week on Cracked Spines, Sarah did all the dang work and presents to Cyrus volume one of three Chinese danmei series for their consideration: The Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish, The Husky and His White Cat Shizun, and You've Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post. Two-thirds of them are completely insane and the last one is morally reprehensible. Guess which one Cyrus gravitated to. Discussion includes a forty-year-old man's suicide plan being derailed by dick pics, an exploration of how exactly one manages to seduce and be seduced by a fish, the most begrudging recommendation t...2024-11-1944 minCracked Spines"That's Life!" A Harrowing Tale of Triumph, Humiliation, and Gravity FallsWhat does a feel-good video about compassion in nursing, a trainwreck of social ineptitude at the site of a roadside attraction, and the television show Gravity Falls all have in common? Well, they're all in this episode, kinda funny, and somehow blisteringly earnest! After winning a prestigious Daisy Award for nursing last year, Sarah was selected for an exciting opportunity: recording a video meant to showcase her compassion and dedication set to soft piano music. Sarah doesn't quite spontaneously combust while talking about it, but it's a close thing.Meanwhile, Cyrus recounts their renewed obsession...2024-11-0559 minCracked SpinesThe Book of Billl (and More!)Well, guys. The third of our recorded episodes about Gravity Falls. This is really our Return of the King. Cyrus and Sarah discuss media in-ties for a children's show--Journal Three, Lost Legends, and The Book of Bill, all written by Alex Hirsch. Sarah ponders about the challenges of adapting a story from one medium to another. Cyrus explains why Grunkle Ford is the new Hamlet. We keep remembering too late to be less horny about this, again, animated children's show. To be fair to us though--I mean, The Book of Bill is horny as hell to those with the...2024-11-051h 05Cracked SpinesA Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra RowlandIn today's episode, Cyrus bullies Sarah into reading a book she really enjoys. Sucker! For fans of pining, fealty, political maneuvering in a fantasy setting, and panic attacks, you can't go wrong with A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland. Naturally, Sarah spends the entire episode second-guessing how to pronounce the names after literally looking it up. Support the show2024-10-2246 minCracked SpinesAlien Romulus: We did not like The ManCyrus saw Alien Romulus and loved it so much they immediately went back to see it a second time; Sarah saw Alien Romulus and experienced an internal crisis about the state of feminism in 2012. Somehow, we reconcile these two experiences. Contains spoilers for all of Alien Romulus, discussions of racism, and discussions of sexual assault in the context of the Alien franchise. But mostly a lot of excited babbling about set pieces and what it means to make a great genre film. Also, exciting news: this is our last holdover episode before we go off hiatus! As...2024-09-111h 13Cracked SpinesIllumicrate Book Subscription BoxIs there anything better than receiving package in the mail? Well, it helps if you actually enjoy the stuff inside of it. Cyrus and Sarah discuss three months worth of Illumicrate subscription boxes with the ultimate conclusion that maybe this one isn't for us. Cyrus remains a freak for body sharing. Sarah cannot resist trinkets. We also talk about the house too much, but specifically how it is trying to kill one of us, which is something we already suspected but now is a process in actual motion. Also, hiatus! We'll be back around August with hopefully reg...2024-06-0149 minCracked SpinesThe Real Horror is Marriage but the Clones Don't HelpThis week Sarah and Katie (wait whomst? guest host filling in as Cyrus is sequestered in Spain!) discuss two books that are basically the same idea, prepared two different ways: Comfort Me With Apples by Catherynne M. Valente and The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey. We talk about the horror of marriage, the horror of cyclical violence, the horror of being treated like a thing, and the Westmoonster Dog Show, which is the setting of a movie we're pitching about the class system and also a werewolf who competes in dog shows. Thanks again to Katie for filling in! 2023-11-281h 01Cracked SpinesMy Best Friend's ExorcismFirst things first, this is Sarah and I say an incorrect fact at the end of the episode, the Catholic Church actually updated their guidelines for exorcisms in 1999. Second off, hello, hi, this week, we're discussing My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix, a book I put off reading for so long that it became a running joke in our household. Turns out? It's good. Also, I talk a lot about exorcisms. Like. A lot. Cyrus this episode is doing the equivalent of meditating underneath a waterfall (the waterfall is made of facts about exorcisms). Other discussion points include: gi...2023-11-011h 00Cracked SpinesGrandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Sorry, We're Still ObsessedWhoops! Your hosts are still totally under the sway of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. This episode, we recap the series as a whole from our favorite characters to which of the cast would bomb the worst at improv comedy. We probably spend a bit too long on that last part.Also featuring Cyrus's undying love for Jiang Cheng, Sarah's touchingly high-brow fanfiction ambitions, and a love letter to alternating timelines.Media Mentions:Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong XiuHamlet by ShakespeareSupport the show2023-10-231h 01Cracked SpinesIn Our Time of WoeSarah got Covid! She's fine now. But if you're looking for the stuffiest, most pathetic audio experience you'll ever have in your life, we recorded this episode just for you. We're taking a hiatus from our intended topic because Sarah's brain isn't working. Instead, we're talking about our experience at Wasteland Weekend: a spectacular all-themed post-apocalyptic extravaganza with amazing people that we spent a good amount of time ignoring to try and read more. Sarah discusses the books on Chinese history and myth she read; Cyrus discusses their acquisition of 100 scalpel blades.Our next episode concluding the G...2023-10-1737 minCracked SpinesWei Wuxian is a Public MenaceY'all, y'all, we're real excited for this one. It's a sloppy lil episode where we discuss the first two books of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Dao Zu Shi. The first book took us months to read. The second? A couple days. Shit picks up and gets pretty evil. Delicious. Sarah talks about the walking source of embarrassment that is Wei Wuxian. Cyrus loses their mind over one man psychologically torturing another. We both do our very best with pronunciations, and we plug the bonus episode on The Untamed maybe a little too much. We cannot WAIT to r...2023-09-2654 minCracked SpinesConclusively and Without Question, We Have ADHD.This week we read uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well it depends on who you ask. One of us read Delivered from Distraction. One of us read Driven to Distraction. This was. Not on purpose. See how long it takes us to realize. Other talking points include: why case studies are the best form of literature, the brand new eating disorder Sarah's been reading about, and Cyrus' inability to remain within the country. Books discussed: Driven to Distraction (Revised): Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder Paperback by Edward M. Hallowell M.D. and John J. Ratey M.D2023-08-0158 minCracked SpinesThe Ballad of Bigolas DickolasThis week we're talking enemy time-spies, bee sting letters, and of course, the all-powerful influence of Trigun twitter. That's right, it's This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone. We discuss the age-old label battle of speculative fiction vs literary fiction, Cyrus pitches a tragically unironic World of Warcraft AU, and Sarah stoically endures the criticism of her Until Dawn feelings. And yes, in case you were wondering, the new kitten situation is still destroying our audio. Support the show2023-07-0443 minCracked SpinesYou Know What They Say About Big Hands (of the Emperor)?This week, we're talking about The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard. Sarah is wildly enthusiastic about the prospect of exploring the complex functioning of a massive government for 900 pages. Cyrus was super busy this week but is extremely game to talk about intimate friendships. Like, weirdly intimate friendships. Like let's get to the central question of this text: should these old men kiss with tongue. Our answer may surprise you! This thick ole episode is half about the book and half about stuff that the asexual and aromatic community figured out a long time ago. Sup...2023-06-211h 13Cracked SpinesThe Sporekeeper: Thoughts on FungusThis week on Cracked Spines, it's time to dig into Cyrus' special interests: Ted Lasso and fungus. Mostly fungus. I'd say 90 percent fungus. Cyrus explains their fascination with the organisms that are like if plants had meat and their major gripe with the current state of fungal works out there. Sarah does not wish to join the fungal hivemind but did like some of the books this week. Works mentioned: What Moves the Dead by T. KingfisherMexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia Spores by Joshua Barkman"Lena" from Valuable Humans in Transit a...2023-05-3156 minCracked SpinesThe Family Business (Which Is, In This Case, Creepy Puppets)MIME STOPS FOR NO MAN. In this episode we primarily discuss Grady Hendrix's newest horror novel, "How to Sell a Haunted House." Of course, we quickly devolve into discussing the entire Hendrixverse and its delicious all you can eat buffet of sloppy nightmare women. Why is Grady Hendrix so good at writing female characters? And most importantly, why must the puppets always be creepy? We demand positive clown/puppet/doll representation in horror ("we" meaning, very firmly, Sarah). Media Mentions:How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady HendrixThe Final Girls Support Group by Grady HendrixMy Be...2023-05-1750 minCracked SpinesThe Scum Villain’s So-Stupid SeductionHey guys, we got a crazy one. Bad sex, problematic dynamics, and weird, epic love(?): that's right, we're reading The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu! Sorry for all the cross talk in this one, we're just really excited about this absolutely bonkers book. Sarah physically cannot articulate the act of reading this book. Cyrus practiced Chinese name pronunciations really hard and also somehow manages to connect this gay unhinged webnovel to Les Miserables, which is actually kind of appropriate now I've typed that out. We give the most enthusiastically guarded recommendation in our podcasts history...2023-05-0255 minCracked SpinesThe Bravest Little Girls in the ForestThis week, Sarah and Cyrus tackle a subject that is a particular passion of one of them: the character type of Brave Little Girls. Sarah posits a working definition of what this phrase might mean, and gushes over fictions weird little girls who are asked to do too much and who rise to the occasion. Cyrus wonders if anyone had a normal childhood or what a thing might mean. We also talk about Misha Collins and some big questions about gender. (Those are two separate topics, we promise.) Our patreon! Pretty sparse right now but we have...2023-04-171h 03Cracked SpinesAn Approximate Definition of a Haunted HouseThis week on Cracked Spines, we're talking about one of Cyrus' top books of last year, Piranesi by Susanna Clarke, a story about one of our favorite things--a real weird location that does weird things to your brain. Neat! Sarah likes the book but isn't really sure it's about a haunted house. Cyrus likes the book and maintains that of course, of course it is. One of us is right. (Hi this is Sarah, commenting after editing the episode: Cyrus was right. Don't tell them I said that.) This episode was recorded and aired in a timely manner, don't wo...2023-04-0351 minCracked SpinesThe Sanderson-Pixar CarsmereDid you know that Pixar's Cars is actually an installment of the Cosmere? The pieces are all right there. This episode, your hosts talk about epic fantasy to the tune of Brandon Sanderson, from the Stormlight Archives to Mistborn (Sarah's read that, right?) Let's dig into what makes Sanderson's work so hugely popular, and why it doesn't always hit the same buttons for your humble hosts. Support the show2023-03-2153 minCracked SpinesWar Crimes 4 KidsThis week on Cracked Spines, it's Sarah's turn to take the wheel with an episode about the television show Avatar: The Last Airbender, which calls its seasons "books" so it counts for this podcast. Cyrus shares their teenage Zuko tribute experience. Sarah shares her adult Zuko tribute experience. We also talk about people who aren't Zuko. Discussion points include the benefits of revisiting media, the efficiency of children's tv shows, and why there should have been a fourth season. I mean book. This is a book podcast. Comics mentioned oh so briefly: Avatar: The Last Airbender – The...2023-03-071h 00Cracked SpinesSchrödinger's P---esF. Murray Abraham? Don't mind if we do! This week, we're talking body horror, we're talking cosmic horror, and we're talking sad old men — which is to say we're discussing The Autopsy, a short story by Michael Shea and an episode of the Netflix show Cabinet of Curiosities. As with all things involving body horror, Cyrus is a depraved little pervert and Sarah rises to the challenge to match their energy. Stan Aurelius for clear skin!Support the show2023-02-0757 minCracked SpinesKid Lit's Profound GloomThis week, Sarah and Amelia are back after faking their own deaths and disappearing to the desert (didn't work), and it's a bit of a grab bag. Sarah discusses her difficulty with reading lately (yeah, another one of those episodes) and how she's powered through it by taking things from small children. Amelia engages in combat with a 56 hour audio book and reads a sentence that made her therapist wince. We also establish that Clive Barker, at time of posting, is alive. That's it's own little journey.Media discussed:The Stormlight Archives series by Brandon Sanderson2022-11-2843 minCracked SpinesPlay Me Off With The Death KazooThis week, Sarah and Amelia get deep. About six feet or so. In an episode that totally isn't a disaster of conflicting tones, we discuss the book Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them) , a very good book that both of us recommend but neither of us necessarily enjoyed. Sarah shares too many work anecdotes that all involve how bad she is with corpses. Amelia revels the least surprising fact about what she wants done with her body after death. We both say a bunch of really correct facts about decomposition. Guys, you GOTTA watch out for t...2022-09-271h 06Cracked SpinesAll Victorians Were Stinky Little FreaksThis week, Sarah and Amelia meet at different ends of the sleepiness spectrum to discuss the fantastic worldbuilding and historical resource that is The Victorian City by Judith Flanders. We talk about sewage seepage, watercress sellers, the infernal din of the city, and a couple of kinky Victorians who left detailed diaries behind. Amelia picks a fight with Victorian street sellers and accurately remembers all the members of the British royal family. Sarah has traumatic flashbacks to reading Bleak House and immediately forgets basic facts from her history degree. We both are very tasteful and respectful and not at...2022-09-1358 minCracked SpinesWe Are Both Doing Equally Well With Our Goals, ThanksThis week on Cracked Spines, we are revisiting all our big dreams we had in January and inadvertently have the exact same conversations as we did then. Amelia is riding high on her book list. Sarah is forcibly humbled. And I'll be honest, then we talk about Trent Crimm from Ted Lasso for about ten minutes. No, we don't provided context on who that man is. You just need to know that he's definitely definitely exactly what the two of us have imagined him to be. Support the show2022-08-0946 minCracked SpinesDense Little Weirdos: Short Story CollectionsThis week, Amelia and Sarah are talking about short story collections by a single author that bodied us and kicked us while we were down. In a good way! We discuss three books that are strong contenders for our faves of the year, while every plane in the PNW circles overhead. I know you can't hear the planes that much in this final version. That's because I'm a hero and I have sheltered your ears with the feeble powers of Audacity. Amelia encounters a horror story that genuinely chills her frozen heart. Sarah gushes about Gwen Kirby's work so...2022-07-1947 minCracked SpinesAvada Kedavyaknowwhat, we're not doing thisIf you love something, let it go: or at least maybe stop giving it your money and putting it in your tumblr blog description. This episode, Sarah discusses two of her favorite childhood series--Ender's Game and Harry Potter--and the frustration of still liking a piece of media when the creator is an active sewage volcano. Is is possible to separate the creator from their creation, and is that a task we should even try to undertake? Also Amelia is there, sitting pretty on the fact that they never really got into Harry Potter as a kid and are really...2022-07-051h 01Cracked SpinesThe Super Duper Ultra Stuffed Lesbian Romance Rant (for Pride!)WHEW WE HAD A LOT TO SAY. This week, we're discussing lesbian romance novels and, unfortunately, why we just don't like a lot of the ones we've read. Amelia discusses gender exploration and lesbian relationships with gay men. Sarah laments the lack of butches and why Regency era women should be allowed to do rampant infidelity. We both spend a long, long time trying to figure out why the sex is so boring. Afterwards when Sarah was editing the episode, Amelia asked her to try to make us not sound like evil dark sex perverts. This feat that proved t...2022-06-211h 25Cracked SpinesMary Oliver and Owen Wilson: Gay Poetry For DummiesThat's right, we're back on poetry again! We finished the Odyssey and, hungry for more punishment, dove into Mary Oliver's work. Amelia humorously mistakes two vastly different modern poets; Sarah humorously botches an 20th century poet's name (wow). We discuss religion, medicine, nature, DOGS, cats, prose, and more religion. Media DiscussedMary Oliver: Dog Songs, Evidence, "The Summer Day," "Wild Geese"Billy Collins: "Sonnet," "Introduction to Poetry"John Milton: "On His Blindness"E. E. Cumings: "anyone lived in a pretty how town" Claudia Emerson: "Frame, An Epistle"Support th...2022-06-0849 minCracked SpinesDeath to the Living, Rights to the Sperm WhalesThis week, we're discussing In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex, by Nathaniel Philbrick, the real life story of the shipwreck that inspired Moby Dick, a book we PROMISE that at SOME POINT we will read. Amelia gushes with frankly alarming intensity about how metal whaling culture and Nantucket Quakers were. Sarah offers some Monday morning quarterbacking about nautical survival techniques. We both feel extremely sad about people, whales, and Galapagos turtles while our cat in the background tries to destroy our recording area. Sorry about some of the audio and flow on this...2022-05-2651 minCracked SpinesHey Wait A Sec, Did The Trojan War Suck?This week on Cracked Spines your hosts read a whole slew of words centering around the Trojan War, from The Song of Achilles by Madeleine Miller to Homer's Illiad, Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida, and The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker. From across the millennia, one single sentiment rings true: Agamemnon is the wooooooooooooooorst. In other news, Sarah had a great time reading the Illiad and doesn't complain about it at all, Achilles is the original jock, and some (war) crimes can never be forgiven, but like, really though, we're not going to. Content warning for di...2022-05-1047 minCracked SpinesOdyssey Hot Takes: Ten Years Seems Like A Bit MuchWe read The Odyssey! We actually did it!! And we only whined a little for weeks on end. Amelia lets her love of milfs fatally blind her to the will of the gods. Sarah overestimates how much Odysseus is naked and murdering people but maintains that just doing it once is enough to make it His Thing. Discussion points include: is this book good? Do we like Odysseus as a character and as a person? Is free will even a thing in this world of gods? And how can Sarah make all of this about her favorite poem from...2022-04-2557 minCracked SpinesComing Full CirceThis week, we're discussing Circe by Madeleine Miller and Women and Other Monsters: Building a New Mythology by Jess Zimmerman. Sarah gets mad about how she stopped being mad about the treatment of women. Amelia discusses the shackles of gender and commits a minor act of arson against Sarah's most prized possession (again). We got a little depressed in the middle there, not gonna lie, but I think the discussion was interesting. This episode description is the one thing keeping us from watching the final episodes of Our Flag Means Death. Media discussed: Circe, by Madeleine Mi...2022-03-2942 minCracked SpinesSuch A Good Anthology, And The Soundtrack To HellThis week, your hosts read Far Out: An Anthology of Recent Queer Science Fiction and Fantasy, edited by Paula Guran, aka an absolutely kickass collection of speculative short stories ranging from a cat-loving AI to gut-wrenching horror. Both Amelia and Sarah agree that this is one of the best anthologies they've encountered, with an effective theme and a wide selection of engaging and imaginative stories. Also, Amelia brushes the fringe of a deep musical conspiracy involving a "hellish" pop song played in H&M which was at the center of multiple murders and an apocalypse cult, probably, according to...2022-03-1454 minCracked SpinesOf Mist, and Grass, and Snake, Oh God Wait There's a Snake??This week, Amelia and Sarah discuss fantastical healthcare in Vonda McIntyre's Dreamsnake under the pointless time crunch of precious homemade goods cooking in the oven. Amelia finds new reasons to swear off pregnancy. Sarah gets real emotional about the concept of witches. We both lament how often genre fiction neglects the narrative potential of realistic injuries and healing, and our cat, again, goes briefly insane. Amelia's etsy store which again Sarah is posting, hi it's me Sarah, Amelia would rather die than self-promote this aggressively which is why I'm putting this in here AMELIA I LOVE YOU A...2022-03-0149 minCracked SpinesBook NostalgiaTaste the Reading Rainbow! This week Sarah and Amelia discuss the way that our favorite books can be so deeply entwined with our memory, and in Sarah's case, her digestive tract. Do you have a book that brings you back to a specific point in your life? A novel you've read over time and time again? Or do you cast your personal and reading history into a dark vault which will open only on the hour of your death? Also, Sarah ranks various books based on the mouthfeel of their pages. Books discussed: Eragon by Christopher Pa...2022-02-1549 minCracked SpinesResolutions and Other Unkept PromisesIt's a lil quickie! Short! Sweet! Full of baseless hopes about what the year will bring! This week, we're talking about our reading goals. Amelia dances with the idea of quality over quantity. Sarah's going to read one (1) western. We're both going to discuss the tv show What We Do In The Shadows an embarrassing amount. (Sorry about the sound quality on this one. We were trying a new set up, and it *finger guns* didn't work.) Media discussed: The Broken Earth trilogy, by N.K. Jemisin The Imperial Radch Series, by Ann Lecki...2022-01-3133 minCracked Spines2021 RevisitedIn the final episode of 2021, Sarah and Amelia dig through their year's worth of reading materials in a ruthless gladiatorial death match of arbitrary categories and favoritism (but like, in a chill way). Triumphs are hard-won, emotional depths are plumbed, and favors are ruthlessly extorted under false pretenses and then upheld as law. Join us on a journey through our top picks in categories like "best nonfiction," "juiciest dynamic," and "guaranteed to rip your heart out and eat it in front of you." Books discussed in this episode: The Heart of a Vicar by Sarah M. Ede...2021-12-281h 04Cracked SpinesGod Bless Us Every CrumbIt's a Christmas special! This week Sarah and Amelia read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and discuss all the ways a person can do Christmas wrong: whether by being a rich coldhearted jerk with no love for your fellow man, or just by baking anything less than 1,500 Christmas cookies in a single weekend. We also touch on a few other favorite pieces of Christmas media and dig into the strange melancholy that so many of them tend to share. Support the show2021-12-1444 minCracked SpinesBreak Your Book SlumpLike all readers, we sometimes lose the ability to process written language and fall into a pit of misery and despair. Here's some tips on how we claw our way back out again! If you need a little extra motivation, just remember that if you don't meet Amelia's quota of reading one book per year, she will nonjudgmentally hunt you for sport. Also featuring the joy of romance novels, reading as a kid vs reading as an adult, and that one fanfic by your favorite author you swear you'll never read. Also, Amelia also immediately dives into a...2021-11-3051 minCracked SpinesSometimes Buildings Just Hate You, and Other Insights into HorrorSpookiness can be a November thing too. This week, Sarah and Amelia discuss what happens when you get a house that's just Bad. Like just the most toxic of vibes. Where people die inside the house, sure, but that's almost incidental to why the house sucks. Amelia loves only the quietest and slowest of horror movies. Sarah expresses some strong disappointment with one of the staple works of the genre. Works mentioned: The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley JacksonHouse of Leaves by Mark Z. DanielewskiYou Should Have Left by Daniel Keh...2021-11-0250 minCracked SpinesVenom's Extended Mouth MemberThis week, we’re talking symbiotes! Venom! Parasites! I Married A Lizard Man! Venom! Honestly mostly Venom! What is it about having an alien consciousness riding tandem in your noggin that sparks such joy? We read virtually all we could find in the symbiote/host dynamic, from the actual Venom comics to Stephanie Meyer’s The Host. Sarah unironically compares the Venom movies to Lawrence of Arabia and Amelia evangelizes spores. Our books this episode: The Host by Stephanie MeyerParasite by Mira GrantAxiom’s End by Lindsay EllisEarth Fathers Are Weird by Lyn GalaClaimings, Tails, and Other Al...2021-10-1955 minCracked SpinesFor A Game Called Disco Elysium, There Really Isn't That Much DiscoCan we talk about Disco Elysium? I've been dying to talk about Disco Elysium. A video game technically, but like, counterargument, all you do in it is read and think and embarrass yourself, and that sounds like a book to me. If Victor Hugo had made video games, he'd have made Disco Elysium. Anyway Sarah would through herself in front of a bullet for this particular piece of media, and she made Amelia discuss it with her. Talking points include: Amelia's animosity towards all fictional children, some extraordinarily bad voices, a tie that screams at you to have sex...2021-10-0551 minCracked SpinesMiddle School English Class: Maximum Trauma, Minimum Word CountHey remember those short stories in English class that are outstandingly good and extremely messed up? We certainly do! (Or, Sarah does and Amelia has goldfish memory probably as a result of playing World of Warcraft for so many years.) We're talking about those dark lil short stories you read fifteen years ago and have thought about every day since. Amelia ponders the question of hubris. Sarah has deep emotions about a school group project from 15 years ago. The cat forcibly weighs in. Works mentioned: "The Lottery," by Shirley Jackson "The Interlopers," by Saki2021-09-1455 minCracked SpinesOn Novellas, and Variable Equine StatureThe same way that a pony is APPARENTLY not just a baby horse (????), a novella is far more than a smaller version of a novel. This week your hosts read a whole smattering of the little suckers, from the agonizing exorcisms in Prosper's Demon to the epic worldbuilding of The Empress of Salt and Fortune. What makes a novella great? What makes a novella unsatisfying? As usual, we're no experts, but we sure did read a helluva lot. Along the way, Sarah makes some bold foot claims which probably won't surprise you, and Amelia states her answer on the...2021-08-3149 minCracked SpinesResident Evil: MILF But The M Stands For MoldCan we talk to you about Ethan Winters? We've been dying to talk to you about Ethan Winters. Look, we're big book people over here, but unfortunately there's no form of storytelling we've recently encountered that demands discussion more than whatever the hell is going on in these games. We got mold. We got #girlboss. We got the weirdest approaches to worldbuilding you've ever dang seen. Amelia can't handle how much she loves a dweeb with his pressed khaki slacks, Sarah can't handle how much she hates a man who nicknamed himself Alpha. Media discussed:Re...2021-08-0259 minCracked SpinesRead Your IdThis week, we're going full-on, all-out id. The kinds of books that speak directly to your most basic, primal fiction desires, like bed sharing or parasitic fungus. You know, normal things. Sarah and Amelia talk about a few books they've read that really just hit the spot. Amelia exudes her usual natural calm and doesn't get stressed out over extremely minor matters. Sarah enjoys Amelia's zen aura and everything is fine.Support the show2021-07-2048 minCracked SpinesThe Sporror!What is cosmic horror, and what makes it so effective? After last week's episode on Lovecraftian horror, we're diving into cosmic horror as a separate entity from Lovecraft--and yes, we then proceed to discuss more Lovecraftian horror for the first half of the episode. Also including Sarah's potential clown fetish, Amelia's unquestionable mushroom fetish, and a joke about hentai that Amelia was going to cut but Sarah made her keep in so look forward to that. In this episode we discuss the following pieces of media: Agents of Dreamland by Caitlín R. KiernanThe Ballad of Bla...2021-07-0647 minCracked SpinesWe've ALL Read the Necronomicon: or H.P. Lovecraft, The Sex Life of a GentlemanCan we talk about H.P. Lovecraft's sex life? Because we've been dying to talk about H.P. Lovecraft's sex life. And apparently, so has this person who wrote a literal article about it. Yes, we spend an inordinate amount of time talking about this. In preparation for this episode Sarah and Amelia read H. P. Lovecraft's work for the very first time, and proceed to tear into the man like two catty mean girls behind the bleachers. Sarah dredges up Lovecraft's first poem (racist!) and then dishes out the hot gossip on his wife. Amelia makes a convincing ca...2021-06-2256 minCracked SpinesPOV You Are Two Walls in LoveSarah strongarms Amelia into reading one of her favorite books from last year, and to both their surprise Amelia liked it. This week we're talking Weird Points of View, from the plural first person of Julie Otsuka's The Buddha in the Attic to The Mountain Goats to second person novels to Sarah's dim memory of Stargate SG-1 fanfic. Also there's like. A lot of discussion of a particular regional high school challenge right at the start of the show. We have no excuse for that. It connects to nothing except in that we're channeling the spirit of a classic...2021-06-0751 minCracked SpinesLibrary Book Death PactCompetitions aren't about who wins or loses, which is something you only write if you lost the competition. Sarah and Amelia sorted through their horrendously overdue library books and competed to finish their book(s) first. Who won? Well, again, it's just about reading books that you normally wouldn't and also it wasn't really a competition and also let's do a rematch right now, okay, right now Amelia I can do it this time. Content Warning: Discussions of cancer. Books discussed: Prisoners of Geography: Ten Maps That Tell You Everything You Need To Know About...2021-05-241h 00