Shows
Film WarsEpisode 26: Crimson PeakIn an episode that goes on almost as long as the movie, we explore Guillermo Del Toro's Disney fanfic where Alice and Loke are pursued through the Haunted Mansion ride by the lady who turned down the role of Wasp in Ant-Man for being too love-interest-y. Beware of Crimson Peak!
2022-05-131h 44Film WarsEpisode 25: Mortal KombatWe're BACK and bringing you 1995's "Mortal Kombat," a film Roger Ebert said he "wouldn't go so far as to recommend." Join us as we dissect the film's many subtle themes, such as kicking, and, like, punching.
2021-10-161h 30Film WarsEpisode 24: Thir13en GhostsWe cover what may very well be THE LOUDEST MOVIE UNTIL MICHAEL BAY'S TRANSFORMERS FRANCHISE CAME ALONG, a cheesy remake of a cheesy 60s cheesefest: Thir13en Ghosts, in which a math professor fails to notice that his teenage daughter is actually almost 30. I guess the title isn't the only thing that fails at math...
2021-05-141h 37Film WarsEpisode 23: Hobbs & ShawNow let us never speak of Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw ever again.
2021-04-011h 36Film WarsEpisode 22: The ShiningStanley Kubrick's 1980 classic "The Shining" marks the second film we've watched that was probably at least partially made as an excuse for the filmmakers to dick around in a cool hotel for a couple of weeks. Amy complains a fair bit about the odd screeching violin noise the movie keeps making.
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Arts & Entertainment with Chris & RandallSaturday Night Liveep44: Saturday Night Live Chris and Randall discuss the television show Saturday Night Live. Topics discussed include: Jim Henson and the Muppets Mr. Bill Show Albert Brooks Tom Schiller Steve Martin King Tut Devo Elvis Costello Sun Ra John Belushi Laugh-In (series) National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) The National Lampoon Radio Hour Bill Murray Chevy Chase Monty Python Mel Brooks Phil Hartman Dana Carvey Mike Meyers Captain Beefheart Frank Zappa George Carlin
2021-02-261h 07Film WarsEpisode 21: The NeverEnding StoryAmy has us revisit a childhood classic for many an 80s youth: The NeverEnding Story. Yes, that's how it's written, with the capital E in the middle. Shut up. Let's take a trip down memory lane and see if we can't figure out why online therapy is so popular amongst the xennials.
2021-02-111h 20Film WarsEpisode 20: Fantastic PlanetOur first foray into foreign films (say that six times fast) mostly involves Amy sighing in frustration as she is subjected to an animated 70s sci-fi film that is presumably a complex allegory about power dynamics but is like 85% tits and sex.
2021-01-2556 minFilm WarsEpisode 19: Bill & Ted's Excellent AdventureWe start 2021 off with the movie it deserves, one about idiots failing history and a world in desperate need of a time machine. Thankfully, the lovable Bill and Ted are here to make it not as terrible, since they're cute, so there's that. Amy pronounces German castle names for us!
2021-01-111h 18Film WarsEpisode 18: Bram Stoker's DraculaWe discuss the OG - Bram Stoker's Dracula. Francis Ford Coppola made the ultimate 90s "sexy" version of the tale, where everyone is breathing heavily, sniffing each other, and absolutely thirsty AF. Join us for the film that only needed a bunch of glitter and long awkward pauses in the conversation to morph into "Twilight."
2020-12-081h 07Film WarsEpisode 17: The Mummy (1999)In this episode we learn that Amy’s definition of “horror movie” is “anything that has bugs in it,” as she chooses the 1999 decidedly NON-horror re-make of “The Mummy” for her scary movie. If you look real hard, you might see a smear of blood on Brendan Fraser’s shirt, so maybe something scary happened off-screen.Here is the link to the MN Toy Posse webcast we were on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4D-rzvoGywYou should check them out!
2020-11-171h 08Film WarsEpisode 16: The Umbrella Academy Pt 2We’re back, y’all, and we saved the sad state of Lindsay’s mic set up so we can watch a bunch of lovable rascals save the world (spoiler alert, they do not.) Grab a box of donuts and your favorite mannequin companion and join us for the conclusion of The Umbrella Academy.
2020-10-261h 44Film WarsEpisode 15: The Umbrella Academy Pt 1It's our 15th episode anniversary and watch out, because the sound quality on Lindsay's mic drops HARD halfway through this ep and never recovers. If you can get past that, though, we're discussing the first season of Netflix's adaptation of "The Umbrella Academy." Join us as Amy fawns over Klaus and Lindsay yells about comic books while keeping another tab open on her browser looking for a new mic. (Part 1 of 2
2020-10-121h 15Film WarsEpisode 14: The WitchesYour childhood may have been shitty, but at least *your* grandmother didn’t neglect you to the point where a convention (covens are SO 17th century) of super obvious witches turns you into a mouse while she’s passed out under a cloud of cigar smoke. We learn Lindsay might be a witch.
2020-09-221h 05Film WarsEpisode 13: The RundownAmy inflicts a WWE-backed “The Rock”-starring bro-dude action comedy? (debatable) on us which Roger Ebert gave three-and-a-half stars, possibly for not being a total flaming trash heap like the director’s first movie. Sean William Scott co-stars and he got a real purty mouth. Lindsay takes up day drinking.
2020-09-081h 08Film WarsEpisode 12: IdentityWe discuss the 2003 murder-mystery murder-thon “Identity” not to be confused with some other murder-mystery murder-thon called “Identity,” and - trust me - Lindsay waffles for like a solid three minutes on whether or not there’s another movie called "Identity." Alfred Molina is in this film, which is nice.
2020-08-251h 04Film WarsEpisode 11: X-Men: Days of Future PastLet two fake geek girls who TOTALLY DIDN’T EVEN READ THE COMICS guide you through what Time magazine names as the 4th best X-Men movie, ranking just below "Deadpool" (yes that counts, shut up!) Spoiler alert: This movie doesn’t actually follow the comics.
2020-08-091h 16Film WarsEpisode 10: The Greatest ShowmanThis week, Lindsay makes herself sad by doing a cursory internet search on P. T. Barnum, while Amy enjoys the sexy men in their tailored silk overcoats tap dancing on the bar counter as God intended. Join us as we watch Hugh Jackman’s brave search for justice for his daughter after she’s offhandedly slighted at her ballet school! Also something about the circus.
2020-07-241h 08Film WarsEpisode 9: TimelineWhat to you get when you cross 2 Scottish archeologists, 4 dead time-travelling assassins, 3 British bad guys, 2 panicky lab geeks, 1 bland surfer dude and 1 1/4 boring romance side plots? Ugh, is this going to be on the final? As politely as possible, this movie is a bit of a mess, but Amy loves history, romance, and one particular Scottish dude (also messes?) so she’s awfully forgiving.
2020-07-151h 06Film WarsEpisode 8: The Cell If you’re feeling maybe your life is a little too cheerful and sane, why not join J.Lo down the Wonka Tunnel of perversion and violence that is “The Cell.” College-age Lindsay would have you know this is not trash, it is ART, but Amy from 20 years into the future is here to set the record straight.Note: To understand the obscure reference we make in this episode regarding a song about killing a bird, go here to listen: https://josephscrimshaw.bandcamp.com/track/i-feel-bad-about-what-i-did (by Amy's fav band - The Dregs)
2020-06-271h 07Film WarsEpisode 7: VenomWe go back to a simpler time, when a movie featuring Tom Hardy, covered in sweat, downing an entire bag of frozen tater tots and then projectile vomiting on camera seemed like a good idea. With a blink-and-you'll-miss-most-of-it pace and a main character who is basically a super-powered sentient tapeworm, how could you not love Venom. Lindsay will tell you how.
2020-06-161h 08Film WarsEpisode 6: Return to OzFollowing in the footsteps of such mid-80s Disney delights as “Something Wicked This Way Comes,” “The Black Cauldron,” “The Watcher in the Woods,” and holy shit Disney was in a dark place… we bring you “Return to Oz.” After Dorothy’s first magical adventure in Oz, she returns to Kansas where her Aunt Em complains about their mortgage and takes Dorothy to a shock therapy doctor. And that’s just the first ten minutes! Whee! Join us as Lindsay keeps insisting this is fine… just fine.
2020-05-2954 minFilm WarsEpisode 5: The Last StarfighterGreetings, Starfighter. You have been chosen to slog through the 80s movie equivalent of a big plastic bag of off-brand breakfast cereal! why, you may ask? Because you possess certain skills-I'm kidding, of course! We're watching this because 35 years ago Amy thought the lead actor was "kinda cute." There's spaceships and stuff too if you like that sort of thing.
2020-05-1555 minFilm WarsEpisode 4: The FlyJeff Goldblum stars as Jeff Goldblum at his most Jeff Goldblumiest in David Cronenberg's 1986 version of "The Fly". The housefly-Jeff Goldblum hybrid monster doesn't just chew the scenery, he vomits all over it and sucks it back up. Amy had to take this one in two different sittings. In her words, gross, just gross.
2020-05-0156 minFilm WarsEpisode 3: Jurassic WorldWe take on Jurassic World, a terrifying hybrid creature that’s part disaster film, part morality play about a woman who refuses to have babies AND MUST BE ADMONISHED! Taking full advantage of the fact that Disney made Chris Pratt lose 70 pounds, this film has him rockin’ the tactical leather vest look. Will he tame the prehistoric forest and claim Claire as his cave bride? That’s what this movie is about, right?
2020-04-131h 09Film WarsEpisode 2: Unico In the Island of MagicWe explore a heartwarming animated tale about a fugitive baby unicorn and an elementary schooler who set out to stop an evil sorcerer from enslaving every living thing on the planet in a badly constructed puppet-castle. Will the power of friendship and love prevail? Wait, don't leave! I haven't even gotten to the part about the Pee-Wee Herman dragon!
2020-03-271h 03Film WarsEpisode 1: The Pirate MovieYou kids today with your Riverdales and your Marvel Universes . . . Back in the 80s, our formative years were shaped by sex-romp versions of hundred-year-old comedy operas starring very, very tan men and Golden Razzie-Award nominee Kristy McNichol. As indicated by the title, this is THE Pirate Movie, and no one has ever made another pirate movie before or since. So, nyah.
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