Shows
ResponseABLE Parenting129. We miss the ROOT of the problem our RUSH to solve itI noticed over the break the rush to solve something I didn't like seeing with my kids. A quick conversation after being pulled into another room, a fast directive at the dinner table, etc. However, in that rush, I noticed my dysregulation didn't go away, in fact, it amplified as the guilt of not doing it the way I wanted to the first time started to creep in. In this episode I talk about how my 4 step neural rewiring process works in specific situations. I share what each step looks like in the moment as well as...
2026-01-1927 minResponseABLE Parenting90. Is Empathy Weakness?In this episode I address whether or not I believe empathy is a sign of weakness. Or "weak parenting." Elon Musk has been in the news saying "the fundamental weakness of western civilization is Empathy." However I think it's one of the biggest strengths for humanity. When we can SEE each other, when we can seek to understand each other we are in fact stronger. Both personally and as a nation. I invite you to listen and think about how you were shown empathy as a child and how that's impacted your ability to show...
2025-04-2117 minResponseABLE Parenting89. 5 Reasons Why Gentle Parenting ISN'T Working For YouIn this episode I share the 5 reasons I see that gentle parenting isn't working for you. These are what I'm seeing across comments, questions I get asked weekly, my client's perspectives and community members. And I want to acknowledge that it's hard to transition from one parenting style to another. Especially one that forces us to look at our own stuff vs. focus on our children's behavior. I hope this brings some insights and of course please connect with me if you are called to work together. I would really love to connect...
2025-04-1417 minResponseABLE Parenting87. IG Question - My Toddler is Using His Weight Against Me!This episode answers a question I got over on Instagram. If you don't follow me there please connect at @ ResponseABLEparenting This parent was really struggling with their toddler falling on the ground and using their weight against them in the middle of a tantrum. We've all been there, when we say no to something and our toddler all the sudden goes completely dead weight and falls to the ground in a full meltdown. This can be very triggering, embarassing and frustrating. I share how we can soften in these moments by understanding our children's developmental...
2025-03-3117 minResponseABLE Parenting84. When things don't go according to planEver been there when things are going pretty smoothly and then one thing derails you and all the sudden you find yourself reacting as if all hell broke loose? Do you beat yourself up over your reaction? Spend the rest of the day ruminating on how you failed and why you can't seem to just stay calm? I've been there. I really have. So so many times. In this episode I share some tools to really support you when things don't go according to plan. And I give you the next action step that you need to...
2025-03-1018 min
Mama KnowsBreaking the Cycle of Yelling w/ Becky JenningsIn this conversation, Nina and Becky discuss the complexities of yelling as a parenting strategy, exploring its roots in personal experiences and childhood conditioning. They delve into the psychological mechanisms behind why yelling seems effective, the challenges of breaking the cycle of learned behaviors, and the importance of self-regulation for parents. The discussion highlights the emotional turmoil that can arise during extreme meltdowns and offers practical strategies for parents to manage their own responses while supporting their children. In this conversation, Nina and Becky Jennings explore the complexities of parenting, particularly focusing on the impact of yelling and the...
2025-03-0456 minResponseABLE Parenting79. How do I "fix" this?!You are right to notice that there are a million scary things flying at you at all times right now. And you are right to want to fix these immediately in order to not feel so uncomfortable and in order to keep you and your family safe. But we cannot be effective if we are reacting every minute to fear. In this episode I share how we can create a safe place internally so we can be effective externally. If you are called to work with me please reach out: Becky@responseableparenting.com...
2025-02-0321 minResponseABLE Parenting73. The Secret to Calming DownThis is a fun and juicy episode! I am going to share with you a huge self discovery. A way that I have managed to CALM down in really high pressure moments. And its a secret that's been hiding in plain sight this whole time. I cannot wait for you to take a listen and I hope that this serves you well during this holiday season and into the new year. FREE GUIDES!Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you th...
2024-12-2314 minResponseABLE Parenting72. One of THE hardest cycles to breakI didn't think I'd share this personal story from my Thanksgiving break but I felt like it really hit home for me on my journey of parenting as well as self discovery. So I invite you to take a listen, and possibly see yourself in my story. We are so deeply intertwined with all of our "shoulds" that we've lost a large part of ourselves. My goal in everything I do as a coach is to help us figure out how to come back to ourselves so we can ultimately show up the way we truly want t...
2024-12-1618 minResponseABLE Parenting71. Were You Allowed to be Messy?You're catching me days after the Thanksgiving break here in the states. And not even 24 hours after my youngest fell and busted out most if not all of his front teeth. I'm a little shell shocked but learning a big lesson. The lesson being, I was never allowed to be messy. And so that's why parenting feels so hard because IT'S ONLY MESS! This is a heart felt, loving, accepting message to all the parents out there who are in the thick of the MESS. I hope you feel less alone, seen and supported after l...
2024-12-0924 minResponseABLE Parenting70. Go From Surviving the Holidays to THRIVING in the HolidaysI love the holidays, but let's be honest, they are filled with challenges. Tricky family dynamics, expectations not being met, routines being off, more sugar, alcohol, etc. It can leave us feeling drained, resentful and frustrated. In this episode you'll get a 4 step framework from Marshall Rosenberg, the father of Non-Violent Communication. It's THE MOST effective strategy for those tricky situations. Plus you'll know you've done everything you could! I can't wait to hear how your holidays are. If you find yourself knee deep in the overwhelm - shoot me a message on Instagram @ r...
2024-12-0218 minResponseABLE Parenting69. Making the holidays work with your strong-willed kidDo you dread the holidays? Do you feel anxious about how you're going to handle so much time together? Does it feel like gentle strategies never work with your strong-willed kid? This is the episode for you. I share 3 important mindset shifts to hold onto during the holidays as well as 4 active strategies to put in place to set your holidays up for the best possible outcome! Also, my community is still open! Doors close again for the rest of the year on Dec 6th. Use promo code BLACKFRIDAY to get 40% off your first month!
2024-11-2523 minResponseABLE Parenting68. How can I manage my emotions during a time crunch?In this episode I answer a question off Instagram: "How to manage my emotions when establishing time boundaries?" I talk about the difference between a boundary and an expectation. And how to clearly set both. I share 5 different steps to take in order to set both you and your child up for success. You'll hear mindset shifts and you'll get practical strategies on how to engage your child once the boundary has been crossed and the power struggle has begun (as the clock ticks away). If you would like further examples or want to be a...
2024-11-1817 minResponseABLE Parenting67. Control is the Opposite of TrustIn this episode I talk about the difference between control and trust. And how we have been so conditioned to control the process, control the outcome, control our children's behavior. Because left to their own devices things haven't gone well in the past. But the more we control, the less time they have to practice, to fill up their own control bucket, to show us through their actions how capable they truly are. I offer a new way of thinking about control and some guidance on how to slowly release the reins and give your children the o...
2024-11-1116 minResponseABLE Parenting66. What You DON'T Know About Puberty with Kimberly GrustasHear from the Founder of Good For You Girls (a toxic-free skincare line that supports kids through puberty and beyond). Our discussion ranges from the challenging food and product options for our tweens/teens as well as how to have empowered conversations about the hormonal changes they are experiencing. Kimberly shares wonderful ways to stay connected, alert, curious, and how to move through this delicate time without shame and feeling empowered. Tune into this very important conversation! Kimberly has offered my listeners a promo code: RESPONSEABLE20 for 20% off her product line. He...
2024-11-0434 minResponseABLE Parenting65. Control Issues*Trigger warning at minute marker 7:30 I share a story of my stillbirth.* In this episode I share a very vulnerable and tender moment I had with my strong willed kid. He did something impulsively that pushed on all my buttons. And instead of having a corrective conversation we ended up having one of the most honest and connective moments. I was able to recognize that my desire to control his behavior is rooted in a deep fear that I will lose him just like I lost his brother. My control and perfectionism have morphed and a...
2024-10-2828 minResponseABLE Parenting64. Feeling Your Feelings is a Radical ActThe phrase "feel your feelings" has become this negative trope used to make parents, who are really trying to do things differently, feel weak and shameful about their choices. I hear all the time "Oh you're one of THOSE parents who allow feelings…" As if thats a BAD THING!? In this week's episode I talk about how allowing both yourself and your child to feel your feelings (yes even the "bad" ones) is a radical act. And why it should be the focus of all interpersonal relationships, not just parenting! If you are read...
2024-10-2115 minResponseABLE Parenting63. You Need to Change So I Can Feel BetterIn this episode we explore a phrase my therapist told me back in 2020. "You need to change in order for ME to feel better." I feel like this phrase helped me see every situation differently. I began to understand my responsibility in each relationship. What I brought to the dynamic that was either healthy or not. And I was able to really start a journey of self-discovery and accountability to show up the way I wanted to in each interaction. If this resonates with you and you're looking to do this work alongside a...
2024-10-1414 minResponseABLE Parenting62. Yelling is an Effective Tool…In this episode I share 3 major reasons why yelling is so effective. I share why it works so well with our kids and why it's likely a tool you've been using in your parenting. I also dive into the effects and why this habit of ours deserves to be reevaluated and overhauled. I share 3 effective strategies to implement INSTEAD of yelling and how you can take baby steps in the direction of getting rid of yelling. Just remember, you are a good parent EVEN IF YOU YELL! This is a well worn habit a...
2024-10-0715 minResponseABLE Parenting61. Connection over Correction…or not?In this episode I share why I dislike the umbrella term "connection over correction" and why I think it's doing parents who are really trying a disservice. I share what it looks like to use connection as a tool and how to connect to yourself so that you can connect to your children. I hope you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that you are trying and not failing after listening to this episode. FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown...
2024-09-3019 minResponseABLE Parenting60. Are You in a Relationship with Your Child's Behavior?"When I'm in a relationship with his behaviors there is less for me to see and love and adore and protect. But when I put that down, it opens my eyes to all the things that make him special, unique that I love and want to protect in him!" - Amanda Doyle, We Can Do Hard Things This quote hit me hard. It reminded me of the years I had invested into removing unwanted behavior and how I was exclusively focused on the behavior, not the child in front of me. In this episode I talk about...
2024-09-2315 minResponseABLE Parenting59. Why This is SO Important to Teach Our SonsI made a post a few weeks ago about my son negotiating with me in the pool for more pool time. I walked through the scenario and shared THE WIN of how he held his end of the agreement EVEN THOUGH he had an impulse to jump back in. Since that post I've received 100s of messages from mostly men talking about how I should have solved that problem with physical violence against my son. They got dark. Very dark. And in this episode I address that. The comments show a society of adult men wh...
2024-09-1620 minResponseABLE Parenting58. Boundaries in ActionTeaching our kids the ways of the world from value based boundaries vs. consequences and yelling is NOT easy. In fact, it's way harder. But it is worth every bit of effort. In this episode I share a personal story of watching my son understand the boundaries and how he put it into practice while playing a game with his brother. My hope in sharing this is to give you a beacon of hope. This is a moment I will hold onto forever as I remember that this part of him is alive and well in...
2024-09-0913 minResponseABLE Parenting57. 5 Key Signs You Have a Strong-Willed KidHey mama, do you have a strong willed kid? Are you curious if they're defiant, have a behavioral disorder, or are just here on this planet to make your life miserable?! I get it, I've been parenting a strong willed child for 7+ years now and I know the roller coaster that it is. In this episode I break down the 5 key markers I've noticed with strong-willed kids. I have a feeling you'll recognize several of these with your own kiddo. I also invite you to take a look at The Strong-Willed Language inside of The Re...
2024-09-0220 minResponseABLE Parenting56. Getting Your Spark Back with Rachel Marie MartinI am so excited to share this interview with you. Rachel Marie Martin is an author, entrepreneur, speaker and mom to SEVEN yes you heard me SEVEN children!! She shares her story of how she felt lost in motherhood, a pivotal moment in her life where she chose to prioritize herself and how she's been able to move through life even when people questioned her because she trusted that spark. I invite you to listen and see yourself in her story. You can find Rachel at FindingJoy.net On Instagram @finding_Joy
2024-08-2629 minResponseABLE Parenting55. Preparing for Back to SchoolBack to school is upon us! If you have a stage 5 clinger like I do, this can be a hard moment for both them and you. This morning I had to fight back some tears as well and put on a sturdy face so I could support my son on his first day in a new school and new grade. In this episode I share how to help your children feel more safety inside during this transition. I also share a few rituals that have helped me in the past and ways to stay grounded as the p...
2024-08-1913 minResponseABLE Parenting54. Cling to what you know? Or Grow…In this episode I piggyback off of Episode 47 which talks about our low self worth loops as parents. This episode talks about that inner feeling, that inner knowing that you have to shed an old belief system in order to truly step into the parent that you want to be. FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is...
2024-08-1210 minResponseABLE Parenting53. The Stages of Growth Inside The CommunityI am so excited to share this episode with you! I do a deep dive into what my community looks like! I share the 5 stages inside the community and what you could expect from each stage. I share that no matter where you start, there is no shame, no expectations of how fast you grow or how you "perform" inside this community. The community group is my baby :) I have designed this space to give you endless opportunities for growth and support. A place where you can feel seen, feel heard and understood maybe for the first...
2024-08-0520 minResponseABLE Parenting52. Consequences vs. Boundaries - How to teach appropriate behavior without punishmentsI have said many times that threats, bribes, consequences and punishments don't work very well. And I get A LOT of feedback (nice way to say nasty comments 😉) in my feed about how these are necessary to teach our kids how to be "real world ready." And how else are they going to learn how to act appropriately if they don't have punishments when they act out of turn? This episode addresses just that! I share in this episode how I've been able to remove threats, bribes, punishments and imposed consequences AND how I've been able...
2024-07-2920 minResponseABLE Parenting51. My 2 paths: Reactive or ResponsiveI share a vulnerable moment in time for me in this episode. My oldest son and I are not jiving and the frustration is level 10 what seems like most of the day…and most days. I can do all the work in the world and sometimes it's a simple visual that helps me in moments of conflict, chaos and challenge. We often find ourselves facing two paths in parenting. One is so incredibly easy to take because we've been there so so so many times. It's easy because our neural pathways are strong and deep and the pat...
2024-07-2213 minResponseABLE Parenting50. Stop When the Red Lights are FlashingI love this episode not just for the really simple visual to help calm us down in a moment of mom rage but because the visual was brought to me by my late son Jackson. In this episode I walk you through a grounding visual that will help settle you in the heat of the moment and remind you of what your goal is on this responsive parenting journey. FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown 4 steps to get you through your kid's m...
2024-07-1510 minResponseABLE Parenting49. Benefits of Play: Interview with Play Therapist Kimberly BartlettIn this episode you get to hear from Play Therapist Kimberly Bartlett. We talk about effective play strategies to really engage your kids in a different way. She shares simple and actionable tips that will help you in the most challenging moments with your kids. Kimberly Bartlett is a dedicated professional in the field of play therapy, holding the titles of Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor™ and Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker. As the owner of Evergreen Play Therapy in Seattle, she channels her passion into utilizing Integrative Play Therapy techniques to facilitate transformative change and growth in children and...
2024-07-0833 minResponseABLE Parenting48. Client Interview: How Understanding Her Strong-Willed Child has Transformed her Life ForeverI am so excited for you to hear from Katelynn. Katelynn is a mom to a very strong-willed 3.5 year old. When she and I first started coaching her daughter was having several meltdowns a day that lasted for a minimum of an hour and sometimes stretched closer to 2. Katelynn felt like she was failing, she was overwhelmed with all the advice she was seeing on her feed and just needed relief. She looked at coaching with me as a one stop shop to get all of the support, tools and resources she needed to succeed in parenting. W...
2024-07-0124 minResponseABLE Parenting47. Progression of Low Self Worth LoopsIn this episode, I break down my progression of low self-worth loops that began in childhood and share how that has affected my parenting. This is not a bashing session on my parents, rather it's a deeper understanding of how we, as kids, can start to internally code these really repetitive interactions with our parents. When there is shame, constant correction, lectures, etc. it's very easy to internalize these moments as "bad" or "wrong" and therefore we begin to view ourselves as "bad" or "wrong." When our kid's way of expressing themselves doesn't match our expectations we h...
2024-06-2416 minResponseABLE Parenting46. How to Thrive Even With Power StrugglesIn this episode, I give you a framework to follow when you find yourself stuck in a power struggle with your kids. This isn't a rigid script to follow, rather a framework to assist you in some of the most frustrating moments in parenting. When our wants collide with our child's wants - we end up feeling resistance. WE understand that feeling and we might have some coping strategies, but more often than not we feel like we have to justify, explain or force our way to end it. I think what often happens is we...
2024-06-1712 minResponseABLE Parenting45. High achieversI'm the assistant coach on my son's little league team this season. And I'm noticing the proclivity of parents (myself included at times) to demand excellence. I link this back to when I was young and noticed that my brother's naturally high achieving abilities never got lectured. But I was lectured ALLLL the time. So I started achieving more, and more, and more and yet the lectures never stopped. I was chronically stressed out about my performance. I linked achievement to connection and hoped that with enough I'd be free of the lectures. I ultimately transferred this c...
2024-06-1015 minResponseABLE Parenting44. What Are Grounding Techniques?I am really excited about this episode! I share a brief overview of the nervous system and why we feel the way we feel in triggering moments. I also break down how to start reading your body's cues so you can utilize grounding tools to regulate your nervous system and show up the way you want vs. reacting from a dysregulated state. You'll get several practical in the moment strategies to use to calm down, even just a tiny bit. Regulation doesn't equal calm, regulation is being able to access these tools and choose your response even w...
2024-06-0316 minResponseABLE Parenting43. "You're mean!"My son's new favorite phrase "You're mean!!" Part of me wants to prove that they are right! But deep down I know that is not a connective response. In this episode I'm talking about the reactions that happen from our kids after we set a boundary. More often than not, they are going to negotiate to get that boundary to change - and when it doesn't they're going to react from a defensive state. I offer a perspective shift for those moments when our kid's words cut a bit and press on old wounds. I offer a perspective that...
2024-05-2712 minResponseABLE Parenting42. Are we just teaching our kids how to be adults?Glennon Doyle: "We are not being taught how to human, we are being taught how to adult." In this episode I unpack a passing quote that I heard on the podcast We Can Do Hard Things. It was said in a flash and they moved on but it stuck with me on my whole walk so I wanted to dive further into this concept of learning how to be human vs. learning how to be an adult. I explore how feeling is an essential part of the human experience. And how we as conscious, emotionally ma...
2024-05-2011 minResponseABLE Parenting41. Where does Mom guilt come from?95% of moms feel guilty. And only 19% of dad's say they feel guilty about parenting. This episode shines a light on a few reasons why moms tend to feel more guilty than dads. Guilt can be helpful when we have acted outside of our value system. Guilt is not helpful when we believe that we are bad because of our actions. When guilt begins to shape the way we look at ourselves and becomes a leading force in our identity then guilt is without a doubt unhelpful. We have been conditioned as women especially as...
2024-05-1313 minResponseABLE Parenting40. Understanding drives respectIn this episode I break down something Sasha (from the interview in episode 37) said about why he respected his parents so much. And it came down to the fact that they spent so much time seeking to understand what was going on for him. They didn't come to the table with assumptions and past stories clouding their judgment of the present moment. Instead, they led with curiosity and really tried to understand what was going on for him in each challenging moment. This type of parenting modeled to him what respect looked like. And monkey see monkey d...
2024-05-0611 minResponseABLE Parenting39. 4 buckets to fill in OurselvesIn this episode I take the lessons we learned in episode 34 about how to engage our children differently so they are more ready, willing and able to collaborate with us, and I share how we as parents need to have these essential buckets filled as well. I dive into the 4 buckets: Power / Control Connection / Attention Regulation Play I share how we as parents can shift our mindset even if we cannot shift the structure of our days. I share how we can tune in and really show up for ourselves in a...
2024-04-2913 minResponseABLE Parenting38. It Feels Like I am Taking 2 Steps BackwardsIn this episode I share about how this journey in responsive parenting isn't linear. And what it feels like when we take 2 steps back. I talk about what happens when we parent from fear and how we can compassionately bring ourselves back to the path we have chosen to walk on. I talk about how to shift your mentality and give yourself grace as you grow into the parent you desire to be. FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! ...
2024-04-2216 minResponseABLE Parenting37. Case Study: How Responsive Parenting raises incredible teens!In this episode I interview a mother and son (almost 15 years old) about creating and growing up in a home that is focused on connection, understanding, curiosity and at the core unconditional love. From 6 months - 7 years old Sasha displayed "problematic behaviors" and was kicked out of almost every class, party and activity. He was labeled "weird" and "bad" by friends and some teachers. Today Sasha is one of the most emotionally intelligent kids I've met. He is kind, generous, a critical thinker, self aware and confident in his choices and personhood. Sasha has a beautiful outlook on life...
2024-04-1537 minResponseABLE Parenting36. Does "Feeling your feelings" Raise Brats?In this episode, I break down a comment from someone on social media who said to me "Oh, you're raising one of 'those'" in response to a reel I made on feelings. It made me think of how so many people are being triggered by the word "feelings" and so with all the triggering things, I wanted to dive in more!! I talk about WHY feeling your feelings is essential to raising resilient adults who are emotionally stable in conflict or high pressure situations. And I go on to share further about two very critical steps that...
2024-04-0820 minResponseABLE Parenting35. What is "ResponseABLE Parenting?"In this episode, I share how I came to the name ResponseABLE and why it resonated with me so much that I decided to build my whole business around it. When I look at the word "responsible" it's about being accountable and reliable but also taking ownership and control of our actions. And when I took that a step further, it's being able to CHOOSE how we show up and participate in these moments. We are ABLE as parents to choose how we show up. We are able to choose our responses. We might be actively breaking c...
2024-04-0112 minResponseABLE Parenting34. The 4 Buckets to Fill Regularly!In this episode I talk about the 4 central buckets we need to be filling as a parent to maximize our child's readiness and abilities to comply with our requests without having to use force or coercive tactics to get them to do it. I break down in detail these four buckets and give you examples on how to use them. Power/Control Connection/Attention Regulation Play This is truly a game changing episode and I can't wait to hear how you utilize the lessons! FREE GUIDE...
2024-03-2516 minResponseABLE Parenting33. Our parenting is only as sturdy as our nervous system - Interview with Tanicia BaynesI am BEYOND excited for this conversation! I had the pleasure of speaking with Tanicia Baynes. She is a nervous system regulation expert, mom to identical twin 8-year olds and the woman behind the curtain of The Rooted Experience. In this episode we talk about what the nervous system is, how it informs our parenting reactions and responses and practical strategies you can start using today to help you through moments of dysregulation. This is one you do NOT want to miss! AND A BONUS!!!! Wednesday 3/20 within The ResponseABLE Parenting community group, Tanicia is going eve...
2024-03-1849 minResponseABLE Parenting32. Is Respect Just a Performance?We're talking about respect again! In this episode I give you a totally new way to look at the word. I believe that the demand for respect is just demanding our children limit the range of emotions and expressions in certain situations and around certain people. We are not teaching them a future beneficial skill when we simply demand "respect." We are simply teaching them that when a person is older, in a position of authority or power, you need to present yourself smaller, less than, etc in order to keep the balance of power in check. But if...
2024-03-1112 minResponseABLE Parenting31. Why is NO So Triggering?There is something about the word "no" that lights up our nervous system and sets us off! And when we are set off and operating from our reactive center, our emotional center, the part of ourselves that relies on learned coping behaviors, we are entering into a power struggle and we've lost the chance to teach a skill. I'm always looking for moments to be more efficient in my parenting. Places where I can heal a bit of myself and impart a skill. In this episode I break down ways to look at the word "no" differently. I offer y...
2024-03-0419 minResponseABLE Parenting30. Owning Our PartOne of the most amazing ways to teach our children respect is to own our part of the conflict. Owning it and leaving it. Without expectation of a specific response in return or our children coming around and owning their part as well. In this episode I talk about how frustrating moments with our children can make us want to prove our side, justify our reaction, etc. And how easy it is to blame our children for our reaction. "If you hadn't done this, I wouldn't do that…" But at the heart of this, we need to mod...
2024-02-2613 minResponseABLE Parenting29. You Need To Teach Your Child RespectI am SO excited about this episode. Today we are diving into the topic of RESPECT! I get told a lot on social media that I'm not teaching my children respect. But when I dig further with these comments, they always boil down to compliance, obedience, and blind respect to authority. This episode flips respect on its head. What is respect? How do we teach it? And do we actually deserve it from our kids? FREE GUIDE!Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's m...
2024-02-1912 minResponseABLE Parenting28. Why Is Empathy So Hard?Empathy is SO hard and it's definitely not our go to parenting tool. But it is a critical step! When we lead with empathy our children begin to trust their sensations, the begin to understand their feelings and they begin to develop a secure sense of Self. Empathy is the pathway to self esteem. When we show our child that they are worthy enough to be listened to, seen, and that we want to understand them, there is no greater gift. We don't have to fix every problem. What will stick with them more, is that we were THERE...
2024-02-1212 minResponseABLE Parenting27. What Are We Willing To Feel?In this episode I share my feelings around a quote that truly struck me. I cannot for the life of me remember which podcast I was listening to that shared it but I do remember stopping in my tracks, rewinding and typing it down! Here is the quote: Everything we want in our homes and lives is on the other side of the feelings we think we can't feel. The actual line between where we are and where we want to go is entirely dependent on the feelings we are willing to feel or not in our n...
2024-02-0512 minResponseABLE Parenting26. The Meltdown Wont STOP!When you are in the thick of a tantrum it can feel excruciating. And it can feel like it's never going to end. In this episode I share a story of losing my cool with my 3 year old. And how my response totally shifted his body - and not in a good way. I share openly and vulnerability about this moment in time and all of my takeaways from it. Tantrums and meltdowns are one of the hardest parts of parenting. My hope is that this episode and my community group will help support you and fill the reserves...
2024-01-2914 minResponseABLE Parenting25. When To Teach A LessonIn this episode I share a story of trying to teach my son a lesson and how poorly it went! And the reason it went so poorly was because my timing was completely off. I was trying to teach the lesson while he was still dysregulated and so he truly wasn't grasping or hearing a word I was saying. He was internalizing it as shame, being bad and that he wasn't a good kid. I also talk about generational cycles of punishment and how this challenges the narrative to teach the lesson outside of the moment. It's a deeply...
2024-01-2216 minResponseABLE Parenting24. Parenting The Child In Front of YouIn this episode I share one of "ah-ha" moments with my son. Once I had this mental reframe I was able to look at him with so much more curiosity and wonder vs. frustration and confusion. It was truly a freeing moment and since then we've been able to enjoy these types of projects so much more together. There is less tension, he has so much more freedom to explore and it really has opened up a whole new way that we interact. I'm excited for you to listen and spend some time this week thinking about how you...
2024-01-1511 minResponseABLE Parenting23. Parent Teacher Conference Progress!This one is kind of fun! If you follow me on Instagram you know I did a "live" while recording this podcast as well! So the flow is a bit different and a bit longer because I kept talking as people joined. I discuss what happened at our first parent teacher conference when my older son was only 3 and how that shaped our parenting practices. You'll also hear the stark contrast in teacher feedback from those authoritarian days to now when I am consciously parenting and choosing my responses to him. What a difference! I'm excited for you to...
2024-01-0836 minResponseABLE Parenting22. "Egg Time" - Mommy HormonesI live in a house with all dudes. And it can be very frustrating when my boys don't understand what's going on for me every month. Our moods, capacity, ability, energy, etc are very much dedicated by our hormones. As a result, sometimes I'm a LOT more fun and have a huge burst of energy to do all the creative projects. And others, I have zero battery, I'm easily triggered and have a much shorter fuse. I wanted my kids to understand at a young age what happens for mommy each month, why, and how to be more supportive...
2023-12-2509 minResponseABLE Parenting21. Listener Question - Should I Allow Social Media?This is such a tricky topic. Most of us were raised in a time without phones in our pockets let alone social media. A lot can come up for us around this topic. We want to make sure we are protecting our children from unwanted bullying, pressures and images. We want to keep their innocence as long as possible. AND we don't want them to be left out, embarrassed, or made fun of for not having access to the same things their friends do. In this episode, I share a few ideas on how to have this discussion with...
2023-12-1110 minResponseABLE Parenting20. Listener Question - How Do We GET Our Children To Do SomethingIn this episode, we dive into a listener's questions about how to get their son to practice. I talk about how we as parents can "future project" when our kids won't complete the simplest task we are asking them to do and how that projection can distort the way we respond to and treat our children. I share some skills to help gain a better understanding around what is going on for us (childhood beliefs and default patterns) as well as for our children and how to be more compassionate and both feel like our needs are getting met.
2023-11-2718 minResponseABLE Parenting19. My Messy MorningI too struggle with chaos. I am an extremely reactive person and hold onto anger and frustration for a long time. It's something I've always done and one of the big reasons I started parent coaching. Without tools, I'm a reactive mess! In this episode, I talk about a recent morning where so many things seemed to go wrong that I was completely drained before the day even began. My morning got messier and messier the more I tried to stay in logic mode. I was stuck in problem-solving mode and in reality, if I had stayed in empathy...
2023-11-1312 minResponseABLE Parenting18: How Feng Shui Can Support Your Parenting Interview with Patricia LohanIn this episode, I get the pleasure of interviewing Feng Shui expert Patricia Lohan. Patricia shares incredible stories of how small shifts in the home transformed her clients' jobs, relationships, and spilled over into their children's lives. Trouble with homework? There's a feng shui answer for that. Siblings fighting, there's a feng shui answer for that too! Patricia shares so many doable ways to start improving the energy of your home and therefore your family!
2023-10-3039 minResponseABLE Parenting17: Default Parents Aren't Allowed To Be InconvenientI'm a little fired up about this topic! Because it's true! Default parents are NOT allowed to be inconvenient. We are in constant service. We are the ones making sure all wants, needs, ambitions, feelings, etc are being tended to, nurtured and cared for and serviced. And when we are off, the whole family is off. Being all things, for all people, at all times is not sustainable. It's exhausting and not right. In this episode, I talk about ways to shake it up a bit and become a little less convenient as the default parent!
2023-10-1612 minResponseABLE Parenting16: Childhood Beliefs Around "Goodness"Today we dive deeper into childhood beliefs around being "good" and your "goodness" as a person. I share more stories from my Telluride adventure with my parents and what I've been able to uncover since. From this trip, I've been able to connect the dots between my performative goodness and my real goodness. I have since realized that as a pastor's daughter, it was vital to my dad's appearance and success for his family to be a reflection of his goodness. Growing up in this space, there was a deep understanding or expectation of showing "good" behavior at all...
2023-10-0211 minResponseABLE Parenting15: How to respectfully teach your children respectI get a lot of feedback on my Instagram reels about how I am NOT teaching my children to be respectful. While I could debate that, I don't need to waste my energy because I know that's not true AND I know that I'm teaching my kids "respect" but in a different way. I am teaching my kids kindness, empathy, compassion, how to work in a group setting, generosity, and how to make a kind request vs. a demand. I believe respect can only be learned once it is modeled. And the only way it's truly integrated and not...
2023-09-1808 minResponseABLE Parenting14: Cycle Breaking: What Happens When Your Village Doesn't Approve?In this episode, I dive into cycle breaking around our families. I share why we are triggered the way that we are and what we can do to maintain our clarity and focus on our goals. I share a story about my very real triggering moment when on vacation with my family and how I was able to get sucked down my subconscious rabbit hole of what "should be." I share a story about how everyday triggers can pop up and how to use those triggers to gift your children a toolbox of skills they will use throughout their...
2023-09-0415 minResponseABLE Parenting13: Gentle Parenting is Not Just For "Gentle Kids"This is a fun episode! I share my response to the reels going around Instagram and TikTok that have a video of wild children doing crazy things and the voice says "I'm sorry but gentle parenting is for gentle kids…I've got gangsters." For the record, in most if not all of these videos, the children are doing totally developmentally normal exploration. Anyway! The truth is, that gentle parenting isn't really for the kids at all! It's a comprehensive set of tools to support PARENTS so we are better equipped at handling our adult temper tantrums before putting more of...
2023-08-2109 minResponseABLE Parenting12: Aggressive KidsIn this episode, I discuss our stigma of anger and aggression and how to accept, instead of reject, this totally normal human emotion. It is so easy for us to try to avoid anger, try to correct aggression, and try to move away from this "bad" emotion because it makes us uncomfortable and brings up a good deal of fear and uncertainty. But the irony is that we model anger and aggression and more often than not match our child's aggression with our own. Our intention is to stop the behavior but instead, we are just reinforcing the pattern...
2023-08-0714 minResponseABLE Parenting11. How Do We Make a Meaningful Repair?This is one of my favorite episodes! In this episode I talk about how our deeply rooted, traditional belief systems about children's behavior affects our ability to repair when we blow up at them. When we lose our cool on our children, these belief systems allow us to justify our reactions. I share how we can start to dismantle these beliefs and I offer a step by step formula to follow when we rupture the relationship. I believe that our kids are worthy of repair. And the more we model how to apologize and correct our misbehavior the more...
2023-07-2417 minResponseABLE Parenting10. Windows and MirrorsIn this episode, I share a softer way to explore and explain the similarities and differences our children will notice and experience in the world. I also talk about ways to view our children's behaviors, not as triggering actions that need to be fixed, but rather helpful insights into the areas that still need healing and work within us. When we get too wrapped up in the narrative of "others" we lose the ability to explore and grow and see the human in front of us. I offer insight and advice on how to take those triggers and turn...
2023-07-1012 minResponseABLE Parenting9. Listener Question - How to Manage Disrespectful and Defiant BehaviorIn this episode, we explore a listener's question about how to manage their 7-year-old son's disrespectful behavior. We explore themes of defiance and control and I offer suggested scripts and techniques to meet their child's developmental needs. When we as parents are experiencing a lot of defiance and push back from our children this is a clear sign we are running low on connection. I give several examples of how to get your children in the driver's seat of choices to give them some control to flex their growing sense of self and also ways you can build connections...
2023-06-2624 minResponseABLE Parenting8. Reconnect With Your Teen Through Curiosity (Interview with Reece Anderson)In this episode I interview Reece Anderson, founder of We Overcome Anything out of Australia. His 8-week program helps parents get out of their own way in order to support their teens, create more positive connections, lessen conflict, and find more ease in the relationship. Through his own battles of mental health and working in the sector, he realized a large disconnect with teens and parents. The number one thing he's heard from teenagers throughout his work over the past 5 years is that they are not heard by their parents. Reece works with both parents and teenagers to help...
2023-06-1235 minResponseABLE Parenting7. P.O.O.P.Sometimes this nervous system regulation "stuff" can feel super unattainable and challenging. In this episode, I share with you a silly acronym I created in my house for my family that helps bring some humor into the equation. P.O.O.P. is the funny way to get back into emotional regulation and back into the driver's seat of parenting. P: Pause O: Observe O: Orient P: Play This is just one more tool in our ever-growing toolbox as parents to model regulation and help our children understand themselves a...
2023-05-2909 minResponseABLE Parenting6. Listener Question - How do I Deal with my Son's Picky Eating?Challenges around food can be incredibly stressful for parents. Not only do our children NEED food for body and brain development but meals and snacks happen many times a day EVERY SINGLE DAY. Today I am doing a deep dive on picky eating and how we as parents can pivot and adjust our methods to shift the negative narrative about food. I hope this serves all of the parents out there struggling with food. If you relate to this listener and would like to share your stories, please send me a message on social or send me an email...
2023-05-1518 minResponseABLE Parenting5. How Do We Become Less Reactionary Towards Our Kids?In this episode, I look at how our unmet needs and nervous system dysregulation contributes to how we react to our children. I break down ways to uncover default patterns in your life, how to identify your most important need(s), and how to create a grounding practice to regulate your nervous system. This will help you build your patience reserves in order to have more capacity for your children. You'll hear me discuss the Green, Red, and Blue "Pathways." Here I am referencing the book Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral...
2023-05-0113 minResponseABLE Parenting4. Parenting in the Wake of Another School ShootingEvery day we drop our children off at school can be a very triggering experience in today's United States. When I recorded this, the latest school shooting had occurred in Nashville, TN leaving 3 children and 3 adults dead. As parents, it can feel as though our hands are tied and we have no choice but to roll the dice every day. In this episode, I talk about ways we can shift the dynamics, and model ways AT HOME to safely discharge anger, frustration, and pent up emotion. I talk about making a radical shift as parents and showing u...
2023-04-1709 min
ResponseABLE Parenting3. Our Kids Are Our Dysregulated Dumping GroundWe all have so much triggering our nervous system daily. It builds and builds until we snap and react. And often that's at our children who were just making a bid for connection. Today I start the conversation about how we can adjust our dysregulation dumping ground away from our children and find a safer more connective way to release this tension.
2023-04-0312 minResponseABLE Parenting2. Understanding Our Default Patterns as ParentsI dive into why we act the way we act. Our past experiences define how we show up as parents and its up to us to uncover the roots and do the healing work in order to show up for our children the way they deserve. I share real examples of how to break down your nervous system cues in order to show up with with more emotional intelligence and self awareness, which leads to greater connection.
2023-04-0333 minResponseABLE Parenting1. How It All BeganTrigger warning: I talk about my stillbirth in this episode. My oldest son was not even 3 when his preschool advised us that he had behavioral issues. This started us down a 2+ year path to "get him in line." I share what we did, what didn't work, and how it rocket-launched me into this journey of parent coaching.
2023-04-0318 min
Classroom MattersEpisode #32: Teaching Reading At Home: A Conversation With Becky JenningsTeaching kids to read can be a difficult task for trained teachers in the best of environments, so you can imagine how difficult it might be for parents trying to teach from home. The current learning situation across the country is uncertain to say the least, but how can parents and teachers keep an emerging reader on the right track? Join host Kristy Houle and guest Becky Jennings as they dive into the world of reading strategies and techniques for keeping kids on the path to reading success. In this epis...
2020-05-0741 min
Classroom MattersEpisode #23: The Epidemic of Bad Professional Development: A Conversation with Becky JenningsBecky Jennings is no stranger to substandard professional development for teachers. As an expert in the professional development field for over 20 years, she has experienced the challenges and helped create resolutions for the epidemic of ineffective teacher training. In this episode of Classroom Matters she sits down with host Kristy Houle to discuss the pitfalls of professional development and how the education system is progressing in it’s efforts to improve the current model.In this episode you'll hear...How professional development could better engage teachersWhat administrators can do to help...
2020-01-0926 min
Don't Send FlowersThere Are No Words, But I'm Here For YouAs we enter the 1st day of Suicide Prevention Awareness Week please listen to Karlyn Nelson's story. Karlyn is a widow from suicide, a single mother, breast cancer survivor, business owner and incredible woman. Please listen and share her important story.
2019-09-0942 min
Don't Send FlowersBreakdown to Break ThroughIn this episode you meet Abby Rivera who lost her husband to an unexpected heart attack 4.5 years ago. We learn how she had to breakdown in order to break through.
2019-09-0244 min
Don't Send FlowersI'll Never Be The Same PersonIn this LIVE episode I have the honor of interviewing Alia Kuraishi. Alia and I connected through a mutual friend Danielle (episode 4) after she lost her beautiful daughter Amani at only 28 days old.
2019-08-2658 min
Don't Send FlowersStop the PatternIn this episode I interview Courtney Culp. She shares her cycles of emotional abuse and how she has found herself through it all.
2019-08-1926 min
Don't Send FlowersThe Gender MilestoneIn this episode I share how it feels to talk gender of our rainbow baby.
2019-08-1218 min
Don't Send FlowersThe Road to FamilyThis episode is special. I get to interview my friend Suzie Nutting who not only helped me tremendously through my grieving process but she's been through A LOT herself. In this episode, we discuss the road of adoption and infertility and what lengths we take to create our families.
2019-08-0541 min
Don't Send FlowersThis is Where I'm AtIn this episode you get to meet Jackie Reynolds, a talented actress and singer living in NYC. We talk about what it feels like to continue on "normally" after losing her brother Jeremy tp an Opioid overdose.
2019-07-2948 min
Don't Send FlowersSometimes It's Plan ZI am thrilled to interview Tricia Russo in this episode. Tricia is a filmmaker, wife and mother and living with metastatic breast cancer. You can find Tricia on Instagram: @triciarusso You can find her documentary on Instagram: @lovealwaysmomthemovie
2019-07-221h 04
Don't Send FlowersMother's LoveIn this episode I get to interview a college friend of mine I haven't spoken to in over 14 years. We reconnect and get to talk about the loss of her mom and how she dealt with that in the midst of a huge life change.
2019-07-1549 min
Don't Send FlowersRainbow After the StormIn this interview I get to talk to Emily Lindsey. Emily and I connected on social media after both losing our sons. And the beautiful thing about this episode is her rainbow baby Luna is cooing the entire time! You can find Emily on Instagram: @happilylindsey
2019-07-0854 min
Don't Send FlowersStarting OverIn this episode I interview Jessica Lee. Jessica shares what life has looked like after her suicide attempt. You can find her book about her life on Amazon called "The Messenger.
2019-07-0118 min
Don't Send FlowersBlue SkyIn this episode I interview Anna Gillcrist who is an actor, writer, and stand up comedian! Anna and I talk about her experiences of learning about loss and death at a very young age and how that not only shaped her but how she's taken steps to live a happy life.
2019-06-2550 min
Don't Send FlowersBeautiful SadnessThis interview is near and dear to me because I get to interview one of my soul mate friends, Kim Kelty. Kim shares her growth journey with us after losing her mom, her job and going through a divorce all within a year. You can also thank Kim because SHE was the one who helped me create this podcast! She's a podcast creating guru so now you know where to go! You can find Kim on Instagram: @kimrkelty
2019-06-1753 min
Don't Send FlowersSimply Show UpIn this episode I get to interview my dear friend, Lisa Prova. Our relationship formed out of nowhere but at the perfect time for both of us. And along the way we have had a ton of crazy synchronicities. You can find Lisa on Instagram @lisaprova
2019-06-1039 min
Don't Send FlowersThe Shared Family ExperienceIn this episode I interview Danielle Gruen Sheppard about the unexpected and tragic loss of her brother. We talk about the layered experience of her own loss and how she had to parent her children through the loss of their uncle. Danielle is a part-time professor at a local university in Southern California. She specializes in career development and also works with individuals with disabilities. She is a wife and a mother of 2 beautiful children.
2019-06-0347 min
Don't Send FlowersLiving Well With AnxietyAmy Molk is a mom, wife and entrepreneur. She is the Founder and CEO of Beanstalk which is a virtual parent-tot classes taught live and streamed on demand. Amy has experienced, struggled, managed, and beaten anxiety her whole life. Amy shares her story and incredibly helpful ways she lives with anxiety every day. Apps discussed: Calm and Pacifica.
2019-05-2736 min
Don't Send FlowersIt's Not Just a F*cking DogIn this episode I interview Vanessa Schmidt. She shares her experience of losing her dog Jamba. We talk about what that meant to her, how she's grieved, and how she fought her way back from the bottom after losing her best friend.
2019-05-2043 min
Don't Send FlowersWe ALL Experience PainIn this first episode I share why I started Don't Send Flowers. After the stillbirth of our son I found that people experience all kinds of pain but we don't often talk about it. After the flowers have died and the meals have stopped coming, we still have to keep living. The goal of this podcast is to share the human experience of pain, talk about how we've felt our way through the experience and hopefully how we've come out better and more whole on the other side.
2019-05-1415 min