Shows
The Borts"Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas" (Repost) - A Borts Original Christmas MovieDreaming Of A Whitney Christmas (originally published in 5 parts-December, 2020) is a scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all--including an inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance'--until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an adorable Christmas Elf from Santa's workshop.
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Written, directed, produced, and edited by Ben Wietmarschen.
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Starring:
Kelly Hudson as Christopher Christopher & Whitney Witherspoon
Featuring:
Ben Wietmarschen as Wint...
2022-12-231h 16
The BortsChristmas Borts - "Saying Yes To Christmas"Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year.
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This week we recap and review "Saying Yes To Christmas" a 2022 Lifetime Original Christmas movie.
From Lifetime: "A magical Christmas wish makes a career-obsessed June (Erika Prevost) say “Yes” to every invitation while she’s home for the holidays. But when an old flame, Blake (Romaine Waite) joins her hectic schedule of Christmas activities, past feelin...
2022-12-2240 min
The BortsChristmas Borts - "Falling For Christmas" Starring Lindsay LohanChristmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year.
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This week we recap and review "Falling For Christmas" a 2022 Netflix Original Christmas movie.
From Netflix: "After losing her memory in a skiing accident, a spoiled heiress lands in the cozy care of a down-on-his-luck widower and his daughter at Christmastime."
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No presh, but it would be very cool if you took...
2022-12-2050 min
The BortsChristmas Borts - "#Xmas"Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year.
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This week we recap and review "#Xmas," a 2022 Hallmark Original Christmas movie.
From Hallmark: "When Jen gets the chance to enter a brand’s design contest, she poses a family influencer, enlisting the help of her best friend, Max, and her baby nephew. When her video is selected as a finalist, Jen is torn on wh...
2022-12-1540 min
The BortsChristmas Borts - "Serving Up the Holidays"Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year.
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This week we recap and review "Serving Up the Holidays," a 2022 Lifetime Original Christmas movie.
From Lifetime: "Scarlett is an incredible chef and co-owner of an upscale restaurant. But every year, her too sophisticated and unique holiday dishes never sell because they are not considered festive enough. To shake things up this year, her best...
2022-12-1345 min
The BortsChristmas Borts - "Angel Of Christmas"Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year.
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This week we THROW IT BACK 7 YEARS when we recap and review "Angel Of Christmas," a 2015 Hallmark Original Christmas movie.
From Hallmark: "A holiday Grinch ever since her boyfriend dumped her on Christmas, newspaper staffer Susan gets her first big break to write her own headline story -- but ironically, the story is a Christmas-themed...
2022-12-0843 min
The BortsChristmas Borts - "Christmas On Mistletoe Lake"Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year.
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This week we recap and review "Christmas On Mistletoe Lake," a 2022 Lifetime Original Christmas movie.
From Lifetime: "Every Christmas, Reilly Shore picks a random spot on the map to take an adventurous trip. This year, that destination is the quaint hamlet of Mistletoe Lake. As she arrives, Reilly discovers that the town’s lone bed & br...
2022-12-0646 min
The BortsChristmas Borts - "Lights, Camera, Christmas"After a THREE YEAR hiatus, Christmas Borts is back!
Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest and wildest and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year.
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This week we recap and review "Lights, Camera, Christmas," a 2022 Hallmark Original Christmas movie.
"When a holiday rom-com movie shooting in her town needs a costume designer, Kerry, a local shop owner, steps into the role. While working on the movie, she rediscovers...
2022-12-0139 min
The BortsChristmas Borts - "Well Suited For Christmas"After a THREE YEAR hiatus, Christmas Borts is back!
Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest and wildest and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year.
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This week we recap and review "Well Suited For Christmas," a 2022 Lifetime Original Christmas movie.
"Fashion designer Rachel Rocca (Mercedes de la Zerda) lands a spot in a design competition to create a tuxedo for one of the city’s most eligible bachelors, Bret...
2022-11-2941 min
The BortsThe Second Baseman Has Butterfeet (Audiobook by "Matthew Christopher")Ever since his carefree days playing Little League Baseball, Ezekial Stanton has dreamed of becoming a Major League second baseman. The one thing that's kept him from achieving his dream is his inability to turn a double play. Always slipping, falling over, and eating shit before he could throw the ball to first. This inability led to opposing teams giving him an unfortunate nickname, "Butterfeet," that haunted him as he grew older and got more fucked up into adulthood. Now, 36 years old and stuck in Triple A, Ezekial faces pressure from his ex-wife to pay his back alimony and...
2022-09-1344 min
The BortsMe And My 5 Ex-Girlfriends' Dads PILOTKevin is just a normal guy trying to watch a basketball game and yearning to find THE ONE when his ex-girlfriend's dad, Frank, rings the doorbell, air mattress in hand. "Me And My 5 Ex-Girlfriends' Dads" is a scripted sitcom pilot podcast that introduces the story of Kevin, Frank, and 4 more Dads of Kevin's Ex-Girlfriends that are having trouble in their lives for one reason or another and have made their way to Kevin's (rental) house. Join the unlikely crew of Kevin, Frank, Enrique, David, Ray, and Jeff on their journey to find love, acceptance, deals on wires, discounted gristle...
2022-07-0647 min
The BortsDreaming Of A Whitney Christmas (Full Version Repost)Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas (originally published in 5 parts-December, 2020) is a scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all--including an inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance'--until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an adorable Christmas Elf from Santa's workshop.--Written, directed, produced, and edited by Ben Wietmarschen.--Starring:Kelly Hudson as Christopher Christopher & Whitney WitherspoonFeaturing:Ben Wietmarschen as Wint...
2021-12-011h 16
The BortsBenWietmarschenVoiceOverReel.mp3Fake voice-over reel. For Voice-Over inquiries, email: benwietmarschen@gmail.com--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/borts/support
2021-03-0202 min
The BortsCh 5 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, Let's Get The Heck On Outta Here..."Chapter 5 - "Whitney, Let's Get The Heck On Outta Here..."--Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an adorable Christmas Elf from Santa's workshop."It's like if a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie and a demented children's Christmas cartoon had **some** cuss words."--...
2020-11-3015 min
The BortsCh 4 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, I Failed You."Chapter 4 - "Whitney, I Failed You"--Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an adorable Christmas Elf from Santa's workshop."It's like if a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie and a demented children's Christmas cartoon had **some** cuss words."--Written, directed, produced, and...
2020-11-3023 min
The BortsCh 3 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, I Exist!"Chapter 3 - "Whitney, I Exist!"--Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an adorable Christmas Elf from Santa's workshop."It's like if a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie and a demented children's Christmas cartoon had **some** cuss words."--Written, directed, produced, and edited...
2020-11-3007 min
The BortsCh 2 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, Come Back Home!"Chapter 2 - "Whitney, Come Back Home!"--Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an adorable Christmas Elf from Santa's workshop."It's like if a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie and a demented children's Christmas cartoon had **some** cuss words."--Written, directed, produced, and...
2020-11-3008 min
The BortsCh 1 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, Where Is Your Head"Chapter 1 - "Whitney, Where Is Your Head?"--Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an adorable Christmas Elf from Santa's workshop. "It's like if a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie and a demented children's Christmas cartoon had **some** cuss words."--Written, directed, produced, a...
2020-11-3022 min
The BortsTRAILER: Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas (A Scripted Christmas Movie Podcast)To kick off the new and improved channel for The Borts Podcast, here's a trailer for "Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas," a scripted Christmas movie podcast that will be released into this feed November 30th, the Monday after Thanksgiving aka PRIME Christmas movie time! It will be released in 5 short chapters, all of which will be available to listen to bright and early on the morning of November 30th. "Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas" is the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until s...
2020-11-2401 min
Honeys Talking Honeys2: Driving In Germany (w/ Ben Wietmarschen & Ashley Chavez)This week the Honeys welcome Ben Wietmarschen & Ashley Chavez to talk about their honeymoon, a whirlwind trip in Europe via train and rental car. (Destinations discussed: Paris > Amsterdam > Wietmarschen, Germany > Berlin)
We're talking about renting cars in foreign countries, seeing where your family is from, balling out for that one big meal and more.
Follow us @honeyspodcast on Instagram where we’ll post the travel locations from each episode and more.
Hosted by Zach Broussard (@ZachBroussard) and Mary Lordes (@ghostkty)
Artwork by Burt Durand (@BurtDurand)
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2019-12-111h 00The BortsChristmas Borts - "Twinkle All The Way"The calendar has turned to December and the BORTS have turned into CHEESY MOVIE WATCHING MACHINES. Throughout the yuletide month, we'll be watching our favorite made-for-tv Christmas movies from Lifetime, Hallmark, and MarVista and recapping them (sometimes with guests!). And if you're a good boy or girl, the Xmas Borts Elf will deliver a message at the end of the episode.HAPPY HOLIDAYS---If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the...
2019-12-0545 minThe BortsChristmas Borts - "Staging Christmas"The calendar has turned to December and the BORTS have turned into CHEESY MOVIE WATCHING MACHINES. Throughout the yuletide month, we'll be watching our favorite Christmas movies from Lifetime, Hallmark, and MarVista and recapping them (sometimes with guests!). And if you're a good boy or girl, the Xmas Borts Elf will deliver a message at the end of the episode.HAPPY HOLIDAYS---If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word...
2019-12-031h 11The BortsThe Sports Borts Rules Courts (Volume 2)Sports are great but the one thing we all agree on: They could be better! The only way to do that is to change the rules.Ben has a bunch of new rule ideas for baseball, basketball, football, and soccer that he thinks will make everything better. The Sports Borts Rules Courts is where he presents these new rule changes to Ashley "The Judge" Chavez-Wietmarschen so she can decide whether to "Call The Commish" and tell them to change the rule OR she tells Ben to "Go to jail, bitch" if the rule stinks. It's a simple...
2019-09-0357 minThe BortsCut, Trade, Super Max with Jason FlowersYes, we've all played "Fuck, Marry, Kill." We get it, it's fun to cuss and wallow gallows humor from time to time, but the BORTS are more serious-minded about these things. Especially when it comes to sports.Funnyman Jason Flowers joins the podcast and brings his sports version of FMK: "Cut, Trade, Super Max!" We explore the best sports trios of all time and decide who we'd get rid of, who we'd trade (or trade for), and who we'd allow to secure the bag, so to speak. Listen, play al...
2019-08-271h 23The Borts50 Sports Things For 50 (and 51) Episodes pt. 2The Borts celebrate the 50th (and, technically, 51st) episode by discussing 50 separate, unique, beautiful, dumb, disgusting, big, small, and medium sports things!Part 1: August 13, 2019Part 2: August 20, 2019...If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast!...No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or...
2019-08-201h 27The Borts50 Sports Things For 50 (and 51) Episodes pt. 1The Borts celebrate the 50th (and, technically, 51st) episode by discussing 50 separate, unique, beautiful, dumb, disgusting, big, small, and medium sports things!Part 1: August 13, 2019Part 2: August 20, 2019...If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast!...No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or...
2019-08-131h 27The Borts5 Hypothetical Sports Questions with Gary Richardson"I don't entertain hypotheticals" ...is something you'll never hear on this dang old podcast. We love hypotheticals! In fact, we think they're VERY entertaining! The Borts welcome the very funny and nice Gary Richardson (SNL) to the Headquarts to ponder over 5 Q's:1-What is the rubric for being the GOAT?2-If you could be present for any sports moment in history, which one would it be?3-What player has the best youtube compilation?4-Who is your All-NBA team of only guards?5-Which would you rather do: hit a...
2019-08-061h 27The BortsNBA Las Vegas Summer League with Matt HobbyIf you're like most Borts-heads, there's nothing more simultaneously calming AND exciting to you than watching your team play in an offseason league. We all know about baseball's Spring Training and, of course, soccer's famous FRIENDLIES, but how much do you know about NBA Summer League in Las Vegas every summer. It's got everything! Basketball's brightest stars wearing sweats in the stands, young ballers competing for their lives, and air conditioning! The funny and great Matt Hobby (Young Sheldon) talks to the Borts about his tradition of going to Summer League in Vegas most s...
2019-07-301h 32The BortsProfessional Wrestling with Dan BlackIs Professional Wrestling a sport? That’s a question that is not addressed in this episode of Sports Borts because, frankly, we don't care. It's fun! And everyone who does it has a great bod! The very funny Dan Black (Comedians of Wrestling Podcast!) comes on the program to school the Borts on the dense, chaotic, thrilling, and most of all, ENTERTAINING world of Professional Wrestling. How does wrestling fit in a world mad for sports and drama? How does it reflect who we are and the values we hold dear, whether we're aware of...
2019-06-251h 29The BortsRickey Henderson with Dan AbramsonSpend a little time on Rickey Henderson's Baseball Reference page (https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/h/henderi01.shtml) (Plz sponsor us Baseball-Reference!) and you will see that he's one of the best players in baseball history, but you'd also only be getting HALF the story...The very funny and sports savvy comedy man, Dan Abramson, stops by Sports Borts Headquarts to talk about the thrilling, awe-inspiring, and frankly hilarious career of Rickey Henderson. Dan relays some stories, mostly apocryphal, that built the Rickey legend, talks about how Rickey is every baseball kid's dream athlete...
2019-06-111h 30The BortsThe Milwaukee Bucks with Rick CarreraMilwaukee! The land of beer and brats and Giannis Antetokounmpo and this week's guest on the Borts: Rick Carrera!The newly hyper-relevant Bucks took the NBA by storm this year, finishing with the League's best record and (possibly) an MVP. But what's it like to actually be a Milwaukee Bucks fan? Rick walks us through his history with the team including the Michael Redd era, shouting at players from VERY affordable first deck seats, and Jesus Shuttlesworth himself. The Borts also discuss batting cages, miniature golf, and a listener question about the best sport...
2019-06-051h 30The BortsBorts Survey: What's The Coolest Position In Each Sport?Shooting Guard...Tight End...Third Baseman...ALL great positions, but which one is the coolest? It's a question that children have been debating--either explicitly or, more likely, implicitly by unconsciously placing their cooler position'd peers higher on the social ladder--in their social circles forever. This week, the Borts tackle it. Ashley is big on defense, Ben is big on whoever gets to do the fanciest moves while playing their position, so you know there's gonna be FIGHTS. The Borts also comment on the least cool positions by sports and SHAME SHAME SHAME (OK, we a...
2019-05-2853 minThe BortsSports Betting with Austin RodriguesTired of just sitting and watching sports without the threat of losing your rent money if Blake Bortles throws an interception? Well, betting on sports will take care of that common problem IMMEDIATELY!The very funny and good guy Austin Rodrigues joins the BORTS to school them on the basics of wagering on athletics and all their positives and negatives (A LOT of negatives, like losing your rent money). Austin also explains being a Yankees fan from Massachusetts, how NOT to drink beer during a high school baseball game, the collective UNCHILL of the...
2019-05-211h 28The BortsThe Top 5 Players In The NBA Right Now with Carmen ChristopherLeBron James? Kevin Durant? Kawhi Leonard? Etc.? Who are the best 5 basketball players in the National Basketball Association right now as of this moment? THAT is the question The Borts answer this week with our ultra funny guest, Carmen Christopher. Carmen is a Chicago Bulls fan who loves Michael Jordan and hates the Warriors but in the cool understandable way where Ashley could still have a nice conversation with him about it. He and The Borts put down, definitively and on the record, who they think the best 5 NBA players are at this moment as well as t...
2019-05-071h 24The BortsThe Sports Borts Rules Courts (Volume 1)Sports are great but the one thing we all agree on: They could be better! The only way to do that is to change the rules.Ben has a bunch of new rule ideas for baseball, basketball, football, and soccer that he thinks will make everything better. The Sports Borts Rules Courts is where he presents these new rule changes to Ashley "The Judge" so she can decide whether to "Call The Commish" and tell them to change the rule OR she tells Ben to "Go to jail, bitch" if the rule stinks. It's...
2019-04-3052 minThe BortsSelf-Conscious Boston Sports Fandom with Darren MillerWhy do so many people so revile Boston sports teams and their fans? Because Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are so hateable? Sure. Because they have an easily mocked regional accent? Of course. But also maybe because people are jealous? No. It's because they win the most and sports fans hate the people who are lucky enough to win the most. Duh.Darren Miller is someone who happens to have been born in New England and who happens to like Boston sports and also who happens to be self aware enough to see why...
2019-04-231h 32The Borts1st Birthday Borts Bash - Ashley And Ben Home Teamz Only SpecialSports Borts was birthed into this world one year ago and The Borts are celebrating by talking about their favorite teams! We're talking Giants, Reds, Bearcats, Warriors, and so much more! ...If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our podcast!...No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page o...
2019-04-1655 minThe BortsPhillies Phans with Mary LordesSure they throw batteries, barf on 11 year olds, and chuck snowballs at freakin' SANTA CLAUS, but are Phillies Phans really that bad?The Borts welcome funny writer and Pennsylvania native Mary Lordes into the Headquarts to make the case for the most notorious fan base in American sports. And guess what? She makes a GREAT case! They take up a very specific and, one might argue, necessary space in the sports fan community. Mary also discusses teen goth phases, mascots, bowling, and so much more! Ya just gotta listen....If...
2019-04-091h 28The BortsNBA "Instigators" with Adam Lustick"Hey!" "Foul!" "Why'd you do that?!" "Stop!" "I'm gonna beat you up!" ...are just a few phrases you will often hear from the subject of this episode of Sports Borts: INSTIGATORS.Whether it's on the basketball court, the baseball diamond or, heck, the common office break room, some people are cut from the instigating cloth and love nothing more than to STIR. UP. SHIT. The NBA is one sports league that has a grand tradition of these shit stirrers and joining the Borts to discuss them is the fantastic A...
2019-04-021h 38The BortsThe 2019 Major League Baseball Season with Ricardo MarquezBaseball is back, baby! On Thursday March 28th the 2019 MLB season will begin and that means you can have baseball games on in the background while you do stuff for the next 6 months...pretty exciting, right?Ricardo Marquez (Crispychicken.co) joins the Borts to answer the question "isn't baseball great?" as well as chat about Mike Trout, stadium food, Opening Day, baseball's new rules, and much more as we go through the first ever Sports Borts Rorschach Test on all 30 Major League Baseball teams. What does each baseball team make you think of? Email us!...
2019-03-261h 44The Borts2019 NCAA March Madness Brackets with The BortsThe 2019 NCAA Men's basketball tournament is here and the Borts are filling out their brackets. Who will win, who's the Cinderella, which game gets dubbed the "turd of the tournament," all that stuff. But it's not just boring pencil scratches, it's discussion of the tournament, how to watch at the office, strategies for who to pick, and much much more!...If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our...
2019-03-191h 02The BortsGolf In The 90's with Zach BroussardWe're talkin' Tiger Woods, Happy Gilmore, Payne Stewart's pants, and, most of all, why anyone in the world would want to watch or play golf on this week's Borts. The talented, beautiful, nice, and funny Zach Broussard guides the Borts ever-so-gently into how to hack golf into being a fun and cool experience and not a boring and stodgy CHORE....If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don't be shy, get the word out about WHATEVER on our p...
2019-03-131h 26The BortsLIVE! From Baseball Spring Training feat. Mom/Mother-In-Law, Rita WietmarschenOK, it's not really a "live" episode in the traditional sense of the word. It wasn't in front of an audience, it was recorded in a room at the Embassy Suites hotel in the greater Phoenix area instead of the Headquarts, though, so it counts. Get off our backs!Spring Training rules! And the Borts are witnesses. Driving from L.A. to the Phoenix area with Ben's parents, the Borts give a shorty update on what it's like to experience the weird, super chill preseason baseball that takes place every March in Arizona and...
2019-03-0523 minThe BortsSwitching From NFL Fan To NBA Fan & The Buffalo Bills with Carrie McCrossenThere comes a time in every sports fan's life when they wake up and realize: the NFL sucks and the NBA is pretty dang-on cool! Very funny writer and actor and Bills fan, Carrie McCrossen, joins the Borts this week to discuss her transition from crying-about-"wide right" to wondering is-watching-the-NFL-right? And if you've ever listened to an episode of Sports Borts before, you know she is among friends with that subject matter.We dive deep into how football games can be such a nice, wholesome family tradition, the non-aggro-ness of WNBA games, home...
2019-02-261h 09The BortsThe Sports Borts State Of Sports 2019Are sports good now? Are they bad? Better than they were? Or worse? Could they be better? And how? Can anyone even tell? In this episode, the Borts take the time to check in with the status of each of the 'Big 3' sports both on and off the field. Where do they have room for improvement and where do they need to just burn it down and start over. Spoiler alert: the NFL needs to light that match!...If you or anyone you know wo...
2019-02-191h 06The BortsFigure Skating with Caroline CotterJumps, spins, lutzes, axels, and salchows....who can keep 'em all straight?! Our guest this week can, that's who! The ultra hilarious Caroline Cotter joins The Borts in The Headquarts to talk all things FIGURE SKATING.Caroline, who thanks she stanks at figure skating but the video evidence proves otherwise, gives us the low down dirty deets on what it was like being a normal kid figure skater and then growing up to be a normal adult figure skater. She dishes on why Michelle Kwan rules and Tara Lipinsky drools, how the whole amateur "skating system" works...
2019-02-121h 21The BortsBeing A Season Ticket Holder & The Clippers with Spencer GriffinGoing to every home game of the season for your favorite team...oh, what a dream! The Borts welcome a guest who has realized that dream with the New York Knicks AND the Los Angeles Clippers. Unbelievable!Spencer Griffin (Stoopid Buddy Stoodios) steps into the headquarts and dishes about not really having a home-grown favorite team, his latter-day love for the Clippers, Marie Kondo'ing, getting the right apparel, all the perks of season ticket holding, and more on this NBA-packed ep of Sports Borts. Luka Dončić does come up.
2019-01-291h 22The BortsMemphis, Tennessee And The Grizzlies with Marshall StrattonMemphis, located in the western corner of Tennessee, is known for BBQ, Beale Street, and, you guessed it, basketball! Home of the Grizzlies, the team that brought us the Gasol's and Grit & Grind! Memphis is full of alliteration!Marshall Stratton is an improv and sketch comedian living in New York City. Search for him on Youtube and you'll encounter a treasure trove of comedy videos, many of which are about sports which is A.O.K. with the Borts. He's got a lot of nice things to say about Memphis and his Grizzlies and frankly, it'll make...
2019-01-221h 21The BortsDistance Running with Nate DernDistance Running RULES! I bet you didn't wake up this morning thinking you'd hear someone say that. But the fact is: it does. Whether you're jogging a 5k, training for a marathon, or having a foot race with the kid down the street who thinks he's faster than everyone else just because he drinks two glasses of milk at dinner instead of one; running rules!Here to talk about distance running with The Borts is Nate Dern, a writer for The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and a full-on r...
2019-01-151h 23The Borts6 Sports Resolutions For 2019The New Year Baby has hatched out of his egg and is starting to wobble onto it's chubby little legs already, but before Baby gets TOO big, the Borts list how they hope to improve as sports fans in 2019. More soccer? Less superstitions? More reading! All this and more in the first Sports Borts episode of the New Year!...No presh, but it would be very cool if you took a measly second or two to rate us and comment on our itunes page or wherever you digest podcasts. It's lame, WE KNOW, but i...
2019-01-0843 minThe Borts8 Top Sports Things Of 2018Chugging on with the *ON THE BORTS DAY OF CHRISTMAS - HOLIDAY SPORTSTACULAR*the Borts list each of their top 4 sports things of 2018, for a total of EIGHT top sports things. And this ain't no objective, Yahoo end-of-year article list or some Espy's-ass B.S., this is straight up PERSONAL, just like sports are supposed to be.There were a lot of great sports things that happened this year: the Super Bowl, the World Series, the NBA Finals, Gronk trying to tackle that Miami Dolphins receiver and tripping and falling, and the list goes on and on. Did your favorite...
2018-12-1256 minThe BortsHallmark/Lifetime/MarVista-Style Christmas Movies with Jocelyn RichardTake your cleats off and put your soft, warm slippers on because the Borts are taking a hard left turn AWAY from the field/court/pitch and toward the TV for the second episode of the Sports Borts***ON THE BORTS DAY OF CHRISTMAS - HOLIDAY SPORTSTACULAR!***That's right we're not talking sports hardly at all and instead we're talking about the next best thing: made for TV Christmas movies! Do you think they're dumb or corny or predictable, well think again, hot shot...they rule! And we're joined for the episode by someone who also thinks they rule, the...
2018-12-051h 20The BortsHoliday Gift Guide For Sports Figures with Jason FlowersHallelujah, it's that time of year again, the HOLIDAYS! Whether you're celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or something in between, this time of year is all about one thing: GIFTS, baby! But what should you get people? I mean, like, specific people. Like Russell Westbrook and Rob Gronkowski and Bryce Harper and all your other favorite sports figures. Well, we've got the answer for you in the first episode of the Sports Borts****On the BORTS day of Christmas: Holiday Sportstacular****Joining us in gift discussion is the very funny sports man, Jason Flowers. Jason is a Cleveland native and the biggest...
2018-11-281h 15The BortsThe Kafkaesque Nature Of DC Sports Fandom & The Baltimore Orioles with Sam WestIs DC a state? NO! Now that we got that out of the way, let's talk DC sports (does anyone read these episode descriptions?). The Capitals, the Wizards (nee Bullets), football team, and the...Orioles? Them too, if you ask our guest this week, Sam West.Sam is a very funny dude who has written for great things and plays the drums in the Sports Borts theme song, "Sports Is Art" with his band, Podcast Mason. He is a DC man who has a complicated but familiar relationship with his hometown sports teams and had some filthy man steal an...
2018-11-141h 24The BortsWealth Inequality In Sports & The Yankees with Lou GonzalezSports is BIG BIZNESS. Ever heard that one before? You probably have because it's true. Stupid, but true. But why does sports bizness have to get in the way of all the fun? Why can some teams buy huge advantages while others scrap and scrape for crumbs? It's probably the price of living in a deeply flawed (but exciting) capitalist society!Lou Gonzalez is a very funny man who joins the Borts to talk about the financial situation of professional sports and also how he squares up being a fan of the "Republicans" of Major League Baseball (The Yankees) with...
2018-11-071h 19The BortsBorts Sports Ideas: Refs In Halloween Costumes“Sports are great, we want to make them better."—The official mission statement of Sports Borts.In a new episode format, the Borts don't got a guest. Instead they present 5 Borts Sports Ideas™ and hash out how good and/or plausible they are. This week:-How much less fun is it rooting AGAINST the team you hate the most than it is rooting FOR your favorite team?-Is less players on the field a way to make the NFL better?-How can we improve refs' and umpires' uniforms?-NFL stadiums should play music during plays.-Can we PLEASE see some GM’s-t...
2018-10-3147 minThe BortsPick-Up Basketball with John Haskell"Pick-up" basketball? Like basketball played in pick-up trucks? Are the trucks playing on their own or are the drivers controlling them to hit the ball with their front bumper up into the hoop, Air Bud-style? Shut up, idiot! We're talking about the kind of pick-up basketball you play with your friends or strangers in the park. And how it's great but can sometimes suck if the ingredients aren't juuuuuust right.John Haskell is a super funny professional comedy man who is a lock-down wing defender with a dynamite mid-range jumper and who plays in a Saturday morning pick-up basketball game...
2018-10-241h 31The BortsIs It OK To Watch The NFL? With Don FanelliOooh baby, this is a big one! The question all sports fans with a brain are muttering under their breath as they reach for the remote (and another spicy hot chicken wing) on Sunday. Pro football is back and because the sport's governing body--the dumbass NFL--has refused to honestly address player safety issues and player expression issues and a host of other ISSUES, it's our obligation as sports fans to at least discuss where we fit.To do that, the Borts are joined by thoughtful and very funny football-man, Don Fanelli! Don is an actor/improvisor/writer who can be...
2018-09-041h 22The BortsEuropean Soccer & Roma with Dom ManzolilloIs it soccer or is it football? Why can't it be both? Who cares! Either way, the Borts are talking about it this week with America's favorite Italian-American from Queens, Dom Manzolillo! Dom is a funny man of sketch comedy and short film who also speaks Italian. He walks us through how he came to be a Roma supporter (the team of Totti and wolf nipples) and a simple explanation of how footballing works in Europe (there's each country's domestic league AND ALSO the Champions League, and they're played SIMULTANEOUSLY, who knew?! Well, most everyone except Ben, I guess).After...
2018-08-281h 22The BortsSports In A Couple with Dan Klein & Kelly Hudson"Sorry honey, I can't do any chores, I'm watching the game...again." How many times have you heard THAT from your partner? I'm sure it's ALL the time. But is that good? Who knows and who cares! Stop thinking about it and listen to this episode where the Borts (an engaged couple on the verge of not being fiances no more) talk to hilarious duo (and married couple) Dan Klein and Kelly Hudson.Dan and Kelly are two super funny writers/actors who have a fantastic podcast of their own called Make Me Like It (https://headgum.com/make-me-like-it). They...
2018-08-141h 29The BortsThe New York Knicks & Jeter with Yoni LotanPizza? Sure. Empire State Building? Of course. The Knicks and Derek Jeter? NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! It's a chock-full-of-NYC-sports episode as Jersey boy, Yoni Lotan (Just For Laughs, "Russian Doll" on Netflix), joins the Borts and nails it right out of the gate. Yoni is a passionate young man who loves sports, has complicated feelings for JETES, and sometimes spontaneously chants Tom Hanks' name, exactly like us! Truly this is the ep to listen to if you're on the fence about liking sports. BONUS CHALLENGE: Please tweet at us (@sportsborts) and Yoni (@yonitime) with the strangest place you...
2018-08-071h 31The BortsWomen's Sports & Tennis with Veronica OsorioWhy in the frickin heck do we hear so freaking little about women's sports, dangit? That's what our guest, the very funny Veronica Osorio (Strange Angel, Hail Caesar!) asked, in so many words. And it's a great question!As you all know, Borts-Nation is an equal opportunity fellowship of all genders, all creeds, all colors, and all fashion types--sports fans and sports apathetics alike--so we cherished the opportunity to discuss with Veronica all the things the sports world is doing wrong when it comes to female athletes, their sports leagues, and organizations. Veronica also is a big tennis-head and had...
2018-07-311h 25
MAKE ME LIKE IT84: ALL SONGS with Ben WietmarschenAll songs are good? Really? WHAT ABOUT THE BAD ONES THOUGH? There are so many bad songs. Countless. But we know a very pure man who says "nay" to that who is NOT a horse, he's Ben Wietmarschen!
Ben Wietmarschen is a writer and performer and a good pal who has his own podcast with his fiancee Ashley Chavez called Sports Borts. He's also know for a bunch of fun stuff he did on Funny or Die including Long Haired Businessmen. Check him out!
If you’ve got any questions, comments, or concerns about the current, past, or future Make Me...
2018-07-271h 30The BortsQ&A with a Non-Sports-Head ft. Colin ElzieWhat in the heck are non-sports-heads even doing with their lives? What do they do in the morning instead of checking twitter for trade rumors, what do they do in the evening instead of watching games while checking twitter for trade rumors? Maybe plan for retirement, who knows?! In this episode we have super funny and smart boy--and certified non-sports-head--Colin Elzie (The Tonight Show, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire), ask us questions he's always had about the curious state of sports. Why don't players play for their hometowns? Why not just let them take steroids? Why is soccer bad...
2018-07-241h 09The BortsThe Cincinnati Reds with Dave FergusonWe, the Borts, are joined this week by very funny dude, Dave Ferguson (The Birthday Boys, I Love You, America) to discuss baseball's first and oldest professional franchise, the Cincinnati Reds (née Red Stockings, aka Redlegs). The Reds also happen to be Ben's favorite baseball team, what a wild and freaking fortunate coincidence! "Dayton Dave" discusses his inclination toward the goalie/catcher positions, his preferences re: gearhead v. stathead, his beloved Dayton Flyers (in Hawaii? you'll have to listen to find out!), his ill-fated 2012 NLDS trip back home, and much much more. Dave asks all the tough questions and h...
2018-07-101h 26The BortsAthlete Names with Arthur MeyerNames....what are they? How do they work? Does everyone have them? Even athletes? You might be surprised to learn: Yes. Chicago sports fan, funny ass writer, actor, and name appreciator, Arthur Meyer (The Tonight Show), comes by Borts Headquarts to discuss how all athletes have names and how perfect those names usually are. Joe Montana, Mickey Morandini, John Kruk, all have perfect names for who they are. Did you know that at one point a mother looked down at her sweet, innocent, chubby lil baby and decided to name him Don Mattingly? That's sick and twisted, but true! ...Do...
2018-06-261h 02The BortsMLB Fan Cave with Mina Park & Ricardo MarquezBack in 2012 and '13, on the corner of W. 4th St. and Broadway in New York City, a bunch of confused but mostly enthusiastic 20-somethings sat in an old Tower Records and watched every baseball game of the entire major league season. It was called the MLB Fan Cave, where Ashley and Ben met each other and where they met Mina Park (formerly of Fox Sports) and Ricardo Marquez (@OhItsRicardo_). On this, the 6-year/5-year anniversary, the four of us sat down in Borts Headquarts to try and HASH OUT the fun, confusing weirdness of being in the MLB Fan...
2018-06-191h 55The BortsThe Buffalo Bills & Team Sports with Pat O'BrienDALLAS IS GOING DOWN, GARY! ...and our guest, funnyman Pat O'Brien (The Shirtless Painter), is getting UP and cheering for his hometown Buffalo Bills.The Borts take a virtual trip to chilly western New York where Pat chats about #BillsMafia, breaking tables, choosing cigs over sports as a youngster, growing to appreciate team sports, and the mental state of a city who has endured decades of frustrated dedication to mediocre football (Ben can relate).This episode also concludes the first annual "Sports Borts Fiancé Fiasco" where we interview two fiancés--separately--in a row (see also: "Cheerleading with Kassia Miller" from la...
2018-06-051h 14The BortsCheerleading with Kassia MillerBe! Aggressive! B! E! Aaaaaaa...ttentive? Yep that's right, you're gonna want to be aggressively attentive so you don't miss a word of this episode. The Borts talk to the very funny, cool, and nice Kassia Miller (Last Man on Earth, The Good Place) about CHEERLEADING! Between the flips, tricks, pyramids and rhythmic dancing, it's no hyperbole to say that cheerleaders are some of the least appreciated sportsters in American society. Kassia fills us in on her former life as a cheerleader, we commiserate about getting cut from high school teams, discuss the cultural impact of Bring It On, and...
2018-05-311h 17The BortsSurfing with George KaremanThis week, the Borts sit back, hang ten, and ride the (air)waves with surferboy, George Kareman! Get the skinny on the amateur surf world, almost dying on a surf bro vacation to Hawaii, sharks, and New York sports stars possibly maybe or definitely hitting on his mom and sister. George is a big time NYC sports-head but also loves taking a freaking break from life for a second and chilling out on the Pacific surf. So, yeah, we got a lot to talk about....Got questions, comments, or interesting low-res pics? Tweet or email them to us:@sportsbortssportsborts@gmail...
2018-05-221h 13The BortsCasual Fandom with Glenn BoozanThe very funny Glenn Boozan is a casual sports fan. For that, she will NOT apologize...and why should she?! Borts Nation is filled with casual sports fans and casual sports fan supporters and it's great to finally lay it all out there for once in our g.d. lives. We touch on Glenn's BIG STINKY BEEF with our common enemy (the "gatekeeper" sports fans), Glenn's team of choice (the Clippers), we do a lot of fun cussing together (the c-word mostly--Ben sits out), and even unveil Sports Borts' first and second sports-to-life metaphors of 2018 that just might change the...
2018-05-151h 06The BortsThe Portland Trailblazers with Zack PoitrasIt feels freaking great to finally do a deep dive into the Pacific Northwest's only basketball team (for now!), the Portland Trailblazers, with the Pacific Northwest's favorite son, funnyman Zack Poitras! Whether it was trespassing on a point guard's private property or being cut off in traffic by a small forward in his big old Hummer, Zack has truly LIVED WITH AND AMONG the Blazers his whole life and brings the Borts into his world for just over an hour in this fourth episode of the Sports Borts podcast.--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/borts/support
2018-05-081h 19The BortsFairweather Philly Sports Fandom/The Olympics with Julie EubankBeing a fairweather fan sounds awesome, being a Philly sports fan sounds exciting and possibly dangerous, and Julie Eubank is in the Borts-dome to talk about both at the same time...with a lil Olympics talk sprinkled in! It's episode 3 and I can't even freaking believe it!--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/borts/support
2018-05-011h 09The BortsSports That Should Not Be Sports with Langan KingsleyThe Borts and TV Writer/Performer/Internet Writer Langan Kingsley sit down for a boring, unfunny conversation--JUST KIDDING!--they sit down for a hilarious, interesting conversation about why in the holy heck some "sports" are even considered Sports at all. Let's just say, there IS disagreement. Plz like and subscribe!--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/borts/support
2018-04-241h 10The BortsPole Vaulting/Sports Are Art with Matt KlinmanFunny comedy man and Facebook's arch rival, Matt Klinman, talks with the Borts about his first hand experience pole vaulting and discusses his theory that sports are art. It's a good ass first episode of this dang-on podcast!--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/borts/support
2018-04-171h 12
The BortsIntroduction!Step into the Sports Borts universe for the first time with Ashley and Ben to find out what in the holy heck this podcast is even about.--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/borts/support
2018-04-1317 min