Shows
Discovering Our ScarsIn the end…What Stories Do Your Scars Tell?Steph and Beth bring their five-year podcast journey to an end. They’ve shared a lot of honest conversations over the years and invited you to bring that conversation into your own life. This episode is no exception. Steph and Beth have shared the stories of their scars, but what stories do your scars tell?Questions for ReflectionWhat is the last chapter of your life you turned the page on? Was it your choice?What has changed in your life over the last 5 years?Do you have a favorite Discovering Our Scars podcast episode? If you...
2024-05-3141 min
Discovering Our ScarsDiscovering My Scars: Chapter 12 "Recovery 2.0"Chances are good that you’ve heard of “The Twelve Steps.” These are often discussed in the context of addiction recovery, but Steph and Beth both learned a lot by walking the steps as part of a step study. Each step helps you address those hurts, habits, and hangups that get in your way. It was a helpful process for them in that season of life. In this episode, Steph and Beth listen to and discuss chapter 12 of Steph’s memoir and share some of their memories beyond what’s captured in the book. Questions for Reflection:(1) Wha...
2024-02-2330 min
Discovering Our ScarsDiscovering My Scars: Chapter 11 "Faith"Steph and Beth continue to listen to the audiobook version of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, and discuss what is revealed in chapter 11.At the end of the episode, Steph and Beth offer you these Questions for Reflection:(1) Have you had the experience of knowing only the next right step? What was that like?(2) Reflect on the transitions in your life. What is it like when a transition isn’t attached to a life event like graduating from school? (3) Have you ever had a God-moment (or sense of knowing) like Steph had on th...
2024-01-2630 min
Discovering Our ScarsDiscovering My Scars: Chapter 10 "Dear God"Steph and Beth continue to listen to the audiobook version of Steph’s memoir, Discovering My Scars, and discuss what is revealed in chapter 10. In this chapter, God reveals to Steph that she was sexually abused when she was a young child. Steph shares that truth with people she trusts and she finds both common ground and grief. At the end of the episode, Steph and Beth offer you these Questions for Reflection: (1) What do you think of how God reveals truth to people? (2) Have you ever shared a hard truth with a f...
2024-01-0549 min
Discovering Our ScarsTime to Say GoodbyeHave you ever found yourself at a crossroads, the kind where you wave off a piece of your life and step into the unknown? That's the heart of our latest episode, where Beth and Steph peel back the layers of emotion that accompany the goodbyes we face throughout life. From the annual farewells to years and birthdays, to those deeply personal ones like leaving a job, or even more profound, coping with the loss of someone close, we share our insights and stories on how each parting offers a path to growth.Full transcript and show notes...
2023-12-2134 min
Discovering Our ScarsDiscovering My Scars: Chapter 9 "43,829 Hours"In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars Podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos discuss chapter 9 of Steph's memoir, "Discovering My Scars." We unveil the profound power of vulnerability as we navigate the choppy waters of past traumas, workplace mental health, and PTSD. Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod148Buy Discovering My ScarsAudiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dhebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsAFollow: Steph & Beth
2023-12-0840 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhy Do The Holidays Hit Different?Join us, Steph and Beth, as we embark on a festive journey to explore the emotional roller coaster that is the holiday season. Ever wondered why holidays stir up such complex emotions? We'll be examining the joy, frustration, comfort, and nostalgia that come with holiday traditions and how our past memories and family dynamics shape our perspectives.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod147Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2023-11-2436 min
Discovering Our ScarsDiscovering My Scars: Chapter 8 "Apple"In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars Podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos discuss chapter 8 of Steph's memoir, "Discovering My Scars." They discuss Steph's experience working at Apple and her passion for the company. They also delve into her experience of being sexually harassed in the workplace and the lack of appropriate response from HR. The episode ends with reflection questions for listeners to consider.Buy Discovering My Scars Book Paperback: https://amzn.to/2O4U5dhebook: https://amzn.to/2r8mPsAAudiobook: https://amzn.to/2XCe9a3
2023-11-0329 min
Discovering Our ScarsRefugees in Our Backyard? (With Kristin)In this episode of the Discovering Our Scars podcast, hosts Beth Demme and Stephanie Kostopoulos have an honest conversation with Kristin Barnett about refugees in their community. Kristin, who works with the nonprofit organization Neighborly, shares her experiences working with refugees and the challenges they face in resettlement. At the end of the episode, you’re invited to consider your own experiences with starting over, your perceptions of immigrants, and how you might get involved in nonprofit work.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod145Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://ww...
2023-10-2042 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhy Veterinarians Euthanize Themselves (with Stephanie B.)September is Suicide Awareness Month. Veterinary professionals are significantly more likely to die by suicide than people working in other professions. Our special guest, Stephanie B., has been a vet professional for many years. She shares her insights about why individuals in this industry are susceptible to this tragic ending. Show Notes- Not One More Vet: https://www.nomv.org/- FOGO: Fear of Going Outside Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fogo-fear-of-going-outside/id1473836011Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod143Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie...
2023-09-2240 min
Discovering Our ScarsThose Aren't Your Bags to CarryWe’ve all had someone try to guilt trip us. It’s the one trip no one wants to take! In spite of that, there are times we pick up the bags packed for that trip. The thing is, a guilt trip usually isn’t about you at all; it’s about the person trying to manipulate you. Once you know it’s not about you, you realize those aren’t your bags to carry. Don’t we all have enough emotional baggage already?Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod141Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308St...
2023-08-1130 min
Discovering Our ScarsHow PRIDE Became PersonalFrom the beginning, Steph and Beth planned to be intentional about inviting LGBTQ voices into the conversation. Turns out, that was there all along! This is an honest conversation about a personal realization that PRIDE really is personal.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod139Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2023-06-0933 min
Discovering Our ScarsRestarting Life After LossLoss is part of life, but restarting after a major loss can be especially challenging. In this episode, Steph and Beth reflect on recent and long ago losses and how they interrupted life. Whether it’s the loss of a parent, sibling, friend, pet, or job, life invites us to go on. This is an honest conversation about how hard it can be to hear and accept that invitation.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod138Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2023-05-1235 min
Discovering Our ScarsLife Not According to PlanWe make plans—the BEST plans—and then life does what it does and our plans are for nothing. Steph and Beth planned to have a great start to 2023, but then Steph’s roof started leaking, Beth got COVID, and Steph had to say goodbye to her dog Mac. This is an honest conversation about grief, intentions, catastrophizing, and why the first month of 2023 might have already ruined the year, or not.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod137Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http...
2023-02-0527 min
Discovering Our ScarsHow Men Think (with Daniel)Daniel is the first guest to three-peat on the podcast! This time he’s here to fill Steph and Beth in on how men think. Are men as superficial as we think? Are they simple or complicated? Daniel addresses this and more in this honest conversation.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod136Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2023-01-2749 min
Discovering Our ScarsNew Year ReflectionsRather than making a New Year’s resolution, Steph and Beth invite you to take time for a New Year reflection. Instead of ending the episode with Questions for Reflection, this is an entire episode of Questions for Reflection. Steph and Beth take turns answering questions that reflect on what last year was and what they hope this year will be. There’s a 30-second pause between questions so you can reflect on your own answer (or use your 30-second skip to move forward in the episode).Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod135...
2023-01-0639 min
Discovering Our ScarsPastor Beth Says "Happy Holidays"It’s what Beth considers the most wonderful time of year—Christmas! Despite the importance of this holiday on the Christian calendar, some Christians spend the season being grumpy and unnecessarily aggressive, especially when they hear the phrase Happy Holidays.Christmas Trivia: https://bethdemme.com/christmastriviaFull transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod134Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-12-2333 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat's YOUR American Dream?The typical “American Dream” is to work hard so you can play hard. Success means a family that looks a certain way, a home that looks a certain way, and a life that looks a certain way. And it’s all based on consumption. We buy more to feel more. But is there another way? What is YOUR dream, how has it changed over time, and how will you achieve it?Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod132Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdem...
2022-11-2544 min
Discovering Our ScarsThe Reality of Being a Female Veteran (with Katrina)Our special guest for this episode is Beth’s long-time friend Katrina. Katrina served in the US Army from 1998 to 2014. She served in the US, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Korea. She shares with Steph and Beth what it was like to be in the Army and what it’s like now to be a female veteran. How does it feel for her when someone thanks her for her service? How can civilians best show their appreciation to veterans? She tells us this and more.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod131Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308
2022-11-1151 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat the Hell?This is an honest conversation about what happens when we die. Who decides who goes to Hell? Do all Christians believe in Hell? Does Beth have all the answers about the afterlife since she is a pastor? (Spoiler alert: She does not.)Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod130Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-10-2838 min
Discovering Our ScarsHOW Can I Love My Scars?Steph and Beth talk about scars, but what are the steps they’ve taken to be able to actually say they love their scars? Do they love their scars? Why?Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod128Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-09-3045 min
Discovering Our ScarsOne of My Twins is Transgender (with Lisa)Lisa thought she had a son and twin daughters, but by age four one of the twins began to describe themselves differently. Now, Lisa has a son and boy/girl twins. She generously shares with Steph and Beth how she knew her child’s gender expression was not a phase, but was an accurate description of who he is.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod127Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-09-1642 min
Discovering Our ScarsJust Say YESBeth has said before that she chooses to be an easy “yes.” Steph, however, asks questions and gets information before saying yes or no. Beth admits she is a people pleaser with a serious case of FOMO. Steph confesses that she once said no when a friend asked her to be a bridesmaid. What does it mean to be a yes-person? What are the repercussions of saying yes when you should have said no?Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod126Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth...
2022-09-0233 min
Discovering Our ScarsMen.Steph might have a chip on her shoulder when it comes to men, but the reality is men have tremendous power. They make decisions that impact the lives of women in huge ways, often with very little input from women. Steph and Beth discuss why they think men need to do more to change the power dynamics we all live with.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod125Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-08-1940 min
Discovering Our ScarsShe's 18 & Has Life Figured Out (with Hannah)Beth’s daughter, Hannah, recently turned 18 and graduated from high school. In this episode, Steph and Beth toss out not-so-rapid-fire questions at her about life and what she’s figured out so far. She answers questions about politics, personal rights, and more. When you were 18, how would you have answered these questions? How have your answers changed?Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod123Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-07-2240 min
Discovering Our ScarsRacism in America: We Have a Lot to LearnThe events of the last few years have helped Steph and Beth see that there’s a lot they don’t know about racism in America. This episode is about what they’ve been learning recently, specifically about the racism at the heart of the case of the Groveland Four and the Rosewood massacre. Both happened in Florida, the state where Steph and Beth were born, raised, and educated, but they only recently learned about these racist atrocities.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod121Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.st...
2022-06-2438 min
Discovering Our ScarsDoes Joy Come in the Morning? (with Latricia)Rev. Dr. Latricia Edwards Scriven is a joy-filled person. She actually exudes joy. She joins Steph and Beth for a conversation about why joy matters, how it’s different from happiness, and how it is a skill that can be practiced. Latricia explains that there is nothing naïve or innocent about joy, it is a choice. Sometimes joy is even an act of defiance.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod120Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Latricia Edwards Scriven: https://laughingblackjesus.comStephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.comBeth Demme: htt...
2022-06-1051 min
Discovering Our ScarsOur Darkest Moments (Mental Health Awareness Month)May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it’s also the anniversary of when Steph and Beth launched this podcast! In this episode, they talk about some of their darkest mental health moments. If you’ve experienced darkness, know there’s no stigma attached to you.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod119Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/Behind-the-scenes video of this episode: https://youtu.be/wut87B8XtdA
2022-05-2741 min
Discovering Our ScarsBeing Selfish is Good.We are programmed to think it’s wrong to be selfish. But what if … it’s good? Steph and Beth explore the benefits of selfishness.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod118Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-05-1338 min
Discovering Our ScarsShould Beth Leave the Methodist Church?Beth is a pastor in The United Methodist Church, but in this episode she and Steph discuss whether she should leave it behind. The UMC is undergoing a schism of sorts. Current denominational rules exclude LGBTQ+ Christians from serving as pastors and prohibit all pastors from performing weddings for LGBTQ+ individuals. There is a broad movement to change those rules and some who want to keep those rules are leaving the UMC to form a new denomination called the Global Methodist Church. “Should” Beth leave, too?Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod117Voic...
2022-04-2947 min
Discovering Our ScarsHis Side of My Story (with Pastor Matt)When Steph was in the mental hospital, Pastor Matt visited her. He brought her clothes and the journal that ended up being the beginning of her book, Discovering My Scars. You heard Steph’s side of the story in Episode 2 and here you can hear Matt’s side of Steph’s story. How did they end up in the same city? How did he know she was in the mental hospital? What did he think when he heard that where she was and why? How did it feel for him to see her at her worst? Pastor Matt answers these...
2022-04-1547 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat Is Grace?Ballerinas and figure skaters are graceful. Some folks exhibit grace under pressure. We say grace before a meal (at least, that’s what people call it where Steph and Beth live). So, what IS grace anyway? Steph asks Pastor Beth to explain “grace,” and together they explore how grace exists culturally outside of any religious context. What is the connection between grace and gratitude? Why does it feel like grace when another person honors our humanity? Listen to this episode and see how this honest conversation might apply in your own life.Full transcript and show notes here...
2022-04-0133 min
Discovering Our ScarsHas the World Changed, For Good?For two years, the COVID pandemic has been our shared global experience. Two years in, we have to ask, have things changed FOR GOOD? Have they changed permanently? Have things changed in a way that is beneficial? Steph and Beth review their own lives and find new commitments to public health as well as new friendships and other positives that have emerged from the last two years.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod114Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-03-1842 min
Discovering Our ScarsStop Wasting Your Emotions on THESE People (with Dr. Jill)From the earliest days of dreaming about the podcast, Steph and Beth knew they wanted to have Dr. Jill as a guest. The long-awaited day has arrived! Dr. Jill joins Steph and Beth for a conversation about the kinds of people we all need to stop wasting our emotions on. This is a great conversation about narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy, and more.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod113Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Dr. Jill Ricke: https://aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org/Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-03-0444 min
Discovering Our ScarsI'm Broken and It's BeautifulLet’s face it, no one gets through life without some brokenness. We don’t choose our brokenness, but we can choose how we react to it. Do we see our brokenness as something ugly, or can we see the beauty in our healing and recovery? We aren’t saying we are broken but nonetheless beautiful, we are saying we are broken and that brokenness? It’s beautiful.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod112Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-02-1838 min
Discovering Our ScarsDon't Pull That Trigger (Word)!Some words trigger an involuntary reaction or feeling in us. Steph and Beth share personal experiences with words that bother them. For Beth, it’s hearing someone claim the Bible CLEARLY says something. For Steph, it’s being called GIRL. For both of them, it’s being told they SHOULD do or say something. Sometimes trigger words are a minor annoyance, but sometimes they relate to past trauma and harm. How do we identify our triggers and communicate with others about them? How do we respect other people’s triggers? And, have we collectively become too sensitive? Steph and Beth tal...
2022-02-0432 min
Discovering Our ScarsI Made the Brave Decision to Live (with Ryan)When Ryan was a little girl, she told people that when she was all grown up she wanted to be a chair. When she was sixteen, a car accident left her a paraplegic. She wouldn’t be a chair, but she would live life from a wheelchair. From the days immediately following the accident, to trying out for the US Paralympic Team, to becoming a mom, Ryan has made the brave decision to live, really live. She Her story is interesting and her resilience is inspiring.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod110Voi...
2022-01-2147 min
Discovering Our ScarsDid It Happen If I Don't Remember It?Sometimes life gives us an experience we don’t want to remember. Sometimes life gives us an experience we can’t bear to remember. But what happens when one of those memories finds its way into our consciousness? Can we trust it? Will others trust it? Steph and Beth talk about repressed and suppressed memories and how their resurfacing can invite us to genuine healing.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod109Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2022-01-0736 min
Discovering Our ScarsPastors Have Doubts?Beth stands up in church every Sunday and preaches about God. Does that mean she has no doubts? Would having doubts make her a bad pastor? In this episode, Steph and Beth explore faith and doubt and how they can co-exist (or not). They also have an honest conversation about doubt related to institutions like church, government, school, and more.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod108Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2021-12-2441 min
Discovering Our ScarsThey Told Me Not To Cry.We’ve probably all been told to stop crying. There’s something about tears and the emotions they represent that makes people uncomfortable. In this episode, Steph and Beth explore the cleansing power of tears and the discomfort they cause.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod107Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2021-12-1042 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat's in it for ME?Do you need an incentive to do the right thing? How often do we do the right thing without asking, “what’s in it for ME?” Steph and Beth talk about incentives of all sizes and how they seem to motivate (or not) people to do the right thing.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod106Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
2021-11-2640 min
Discovering Our ScarsBeing Preyed Upon at Church (with Sandy)Sandy Phillips Kirkham was just a teenager who loved church. It was a place she felt accepted and celebrated. When a new youth pastor was hired, he saw Sandy’s love for the church and used it against her. He started grooming her for a long-term abusive relationship before her sixteenth birthday. When the abuse was finally discovered, the church moved the pastor on to another congregation (after celebrating him with a big going away party) and they asked Sandy to worship elsewhere. Sandy’s story teaches us church is a place where victims are susceptible to predators because the...
2021-11-121h 02
Discovering Our ScarsCommunity? Squad? Your People.The pandemic has caused some of us to live in a sort of hibernation. Instead of spending time with friends in real life we’ve either not spent time with friends or we’ve settled for Zoom, social media, or some other slightly disconnected form of connection. As Steph and Beth spend time with friends again, they’re remembering how wonderful it is to have a community, a squad, or whatever you call that group of people who are your people.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod104Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308Stepha...
2021-10-2941 min
Discovering Our ScarsBuilding a Mental Health Tool KitWhen we aren’t feeling our best, it can be hard to know what coping mechanism to reach for. Having a plan in advance is like preparing for a hurricane. You can stock your mental health toolkit with a list of healthy coping mechanisms, to reduce the chance that you will default to an unhealthy one. In episode 103, Steph and Beth share what’s in their healthy toolkit and why. As part of the Questions for Reflection at the end of the episode, they invite you to build your own toolkit so you’ll have it handy when you need i...
2021-10-1533 min
Discovering Our ScarsSigned, Sealed, and (formerly) MormonKatie Langston joins Steph and Beth to talk about her memoir, Sealed: An Unexpected Journey Into the Heart of Grace. Katie grew up in a devoutly Mormon family where she learned that God’s love was conditional and her actions could cause God to reject her. She worried about her inability to please God so much that it triggered a form of OCD called scrupulosity. As an adult, Katie experienced the unexpected grace of God in a way that changed the trajectory of her life. Katie talks with Steph and Beth about Mormonism, her journey to Christianity, and more. Th...
2021-10-0159 min
Discovering Our ScarsCharacters Beth Met in the HospitalBeth served as an intern in the Spiritual Care Department at a local hospital for several months in early 2021. In this episode, she tells Steph about some of the characters she met. She talks about the most surprising conversations, the saddest times, and she shares what it was like to be around death on a regular basis. This conversation will get you thinking about surprising people you’ve met and the stories you’ve heard that have deeply affected you.Buy the host a coffee and/or tea: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/dospod—Full transcript and sh...
2021-07-3046 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat Does it Mean to BE KIND?In Episode 92, special guest Skaie Knox talked about her husband as a “kind person.” That got Steph and Beth thinking about kindness. What does it mean to be kind? When you hear the word “kindness,” do you think of acts of kindness or people who are kind? What’s the difference? Steph and Beth talk about their experiences with kindness and their experiences with attempted kindness (like the time Beth’s Dad rearranged her pantry for her!).Buy the host a coffee and/or tea: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/dospod—Full transcript and show notes here: https...
2021-07-1635 min
Discovering Our ScarsHaving PRIDE In My Changed ViewsSteph and Beth both consider themselves allies to the LGBTQIA community. In this episode, Beth shares how her views have changed and how her ally-ship has matured over the years. She used to believe that a Christian with a same gender attraction would need to live a celibate lifestyle, but when she thought critically and carefully about that question, she reached a different conclusion. Every lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, or asexual person bears the image of God. Too often churches seek to make LGBTQIA persons feel like their sexuality is sinful rather than understanding it as part...
2021-06-2544 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhen a Lawyer Gets Jury Duty...Beth was recently summoned for jury duty. She had mixed feelings. She knew what it was like to present a case to a jury, but she had never been a juror before. Though she was curious, she doubted she would be chosen to serve and she worried the whole thing would be a waste of time. To her surprise, she was selected to be a juror and got to serve! Overall, Beth had a great experience. She and Steph talk about what it was like for Beth to be on the inside of the jury box, what it means...
2021-06-1138 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat is Asian Hate? (with Dr. Su)Experts say that hate against AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islander) communities has risen during the COVID-19 pandemic. In this episode, Steph and Beth are joined by Beth’s friend, Dr. Su Wang. Beth and Su grew up together in Pensacola, Florida. Su says that during those days, she tried to assimilate into the White community and sometimes felt embarrassed by her family’s Taiwanese roots. Su now proudly serves as the Medical Director for the Chinese Medical Program at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in New Jersey. Su shares honestly about what it has been like for her, her patients, and...
2021-04-3041 min
Discovering Our ScarsThe "Weight" of it AllSome people are talking about weight gain during the pandemic as their “COVID-19,” a nod to the “Freshman 15” (the idea that people often gain fifteen pounds during their first year of college). This prompted Steph and Beth to have a conversation Beth has been avoiding—a conversation about weight, body size, and health. Beth has been overweight her entire life and she knows that most people look at her and assume she is unhealthy. For Beth, our cultural fixation on weight as the single determining factor for whether someone is healthy or unhealthy is a little much. Steph and Beth also...
2021-04-2350 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat's in a Name?What does your name say about who you are? In this episode, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the connection between name and identity. Beth talks about her ill-fated middle-school attempt to go by her actual name (Elizabeth). She also talks about the decision to change her children’s names when they were adopted. She explains that, while their Russian names were special and important, naming a child is an opportunity to give them roots and a sense of family connection. Steph talks about choosing her public-facing name and using that as an opportunity to honor a pa...
2021-03-2631 min
Discovering Our ScarsDivorce, an Honest Conversation (with Christi)Divorce is a deeply personal, life-changing event that can be hard to talk about. Neither Steph nor Beth has ever been divorced, so they brought in Beth’s friend Christi Gray for this honest conversation. Christi is a lawyer who has specialized exclusively in family law (i.e., divorces and what happens afterward) for ten years. Christi brings not only her professional experience but also her personal experience to this conversation. She explains how divorce is not only a legal proceeding but also a psychological process and why it is that it only takes one person to end a ma...
2021-02-2656 min
Discovering Our ScarsLove? Actually...Some people can casually say, “I love you,” but for others it’s an almost sacred phrase that is reserved for the most special of circumstances and people. Steph and Beth explore their experience with love—the word and the emotion. Beth has been in love with her husband since she was a teenager, but isn’t there more to “love” than romantic love? Steph understood love in a new way when her first nephew was born. Beth only understood unconditional love after she became a mom. In this episode, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about what makes them fee...
2021-02-1250 min
Discovering Our ScarsDo Good People Have Prejudice?How often have you heard someone say, “I’m a good person. I’m not prejudiced!”? Are the two mutually exclusive? Is our desire to label people good and bad at the heart of our inability to admit and address our prejudices? Steph and Beth admit and explore some of their prejudices, where they come from, and how they impact their interactions even today. Steph shares about a prejudice it was hard to admit to Beth. Beth talks about a recent experience at work that opened her eyes to a prejudice she didn’t realize she had. This is an honest...
2021-01-2948 min
Discovering Our ScarsCan your Hobby be your Job?A mentor once told Steph that her hobby and her job had to be two different things. On this episode, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about jobs and hobbies. The dichotomy between the work you do for money and the things you do for fun is an old way of looking at things that doesn’t represent today’s lifestyles. To really unpack that question, Steph and Beth have a conversation about hobby stores, the TV show The Office, pets, video games, and more. Plus, they delve into today’s trend to monetize every aspect of our time, i...
2021-01-0838 min
Discovering Our ScarsThe Moment I Realized My Dad's Not SupermanWhen we are young children, we think our parents are practically super-human. We think they can do no wrong. We think they follow the rules, especially the ones they set. But, at some point, we realize they are just humans who make mistakes and sometimes break the rules—even rules they come up with themselves. When Steph was 14-years old, her father revealed that he had another daughter; a child born before he met Steph’s mom. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about how our own self-confidence can be shaken when our confidence in our parents takes a hi...
2020-12-0437 min
Discovering Our ScarsLetting Go of Ideas that Don't Work (with Betsy)Steph and Beth are joined by Rev. Betsy Ouellette Zierden for an honest conversation about how we tend to hold onto ideas that we know don’t work. Sometimes we have ideas about the Bible, God, our family of origin, or even ourselves that help us for a time, but then get in our way. Steph had to let go of her ideas about the importance of job security in order to leave her job at Apple and launch her full-time DIY business. Betsy, an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church, had to let go of the idea th...
2020-11-2742 min
Discovering Our ScarsGreat Minds Think, Different?A conspiracy theory used to mean an idea that was completely on the fringe, but today it seems there are a growing number of conspiracy theories and an increasing number of people willing to take them at face value. To explore this phenomenon, Steph and Beth go inside their own experiences with conspiracy theories. For many years, Steph believed the moon landing was a hoax. Similarly, when Beth’s children were young she worried there was a link between autism and vaccines. How did they navigate through those conspiracy theories and how does that help them navigate new conspiracy th...
2020-11-1350 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhy you not in kitchen? Go make food.In Steph’s work as a DIY’er on YouTube she often gets comments telling her to get back in the kitchen. The title Episode 57 comes straight from one of those comments. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about what’s at the heart of these comments and why they aren’t okay. Do the men who make these comments realize how insecure it makes them sound? Do they realize how demeaning it is to suggest that a woman’s “place” is in the kitchen? What’s the deal with the idea of a “resting B___ face” and why isn’t there a ma...
2020-11-0646 min
Discovering Our ScarsThe Masks We WearWe each have different hats we wear at work and at home, but do we also wear masks that hide who we truly are? Are there times when it is healthy and appropriate to hide our feelings? Steph and Beth have an honest conversation wearing masks and why it’s important not to wear a mask so long you lose track of who you are. Steph asks if we can safely put on the mask for the person we want to be (like we would dress for the job we want) or is that unhealthy? Beth realizes, almost mid-sentence, th...
2020-10-1642 min
Discovering Our ScarsHow "Money" Scars Do You Have?Money is something that is essential and yet it’s one of those things we are taught not to talk about. In fact, culture says it’s downright rude to discuss money. The reality is many of us are carrying around money scars. Steph and Beth both share honestly about the money messages communicated to them as they were growing up. Beth gently teases Steph about Steph’s excellent credit score, and shares a life hack for how she recently gained fifty additional points on her credit score. This is an honest conversation about how fear and anxiety about money...
2020-10-0946 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat If My Dreams Come True?Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about dreaming big and being ready for your dreams to come true. They talk about whether there is a difference between an idea, a goal, and a dream. They also address the reality that we sometimes let other people discourage our dreams. Steph and Beth both share about dreams that have come true and some that are still in the “maybe” phase. They offer Questions for Reflection for you to think about how dreaming big applies to you and they close the show with Slice of Life, a chat about what’s happen...
2020-10-0251 min
Discovering Our ScarsWait, There's Two of You? (with Pam & Paula)For the first time ever, Steph and Beth host two special guests at the same time, twin sisters Pam Bates and Paula Patty. Steph and Beth ask all the questions you’ve ever wanted to ask twins, but were afraid to ask. Do they sometimes feel each other’s pain? Do they have the same likes and dislikes? Pam and Paula have just released their first book, The Most Amazing Harvest: The Man Behind the Story. The book is the story of an amazing community event that happened when Pam’s late husband Carl was diagnosed with terminal cancer shortl...
2020-09-2538 min
Discovering Our ScarsForgive, and Forget?Show hosts, Stephanie Kostopoulos and Beth Demme, share their experience with forgiveness. They talk about why there are times it is more powerful to forgive and remember than it is to forgive and forget. Also, we sometimes think of forgiveness as a response to an apology, but Steph and Beth have discovered that forgiveness isn’t necessarily tied to an apology. In fact, they’ve discovered that forgiveness is a choice. A choice that is powerful when applied to others, and ourselves.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod50Words we use: https://dosp...
2020-09-1832 min
Discovering Our ScarsMaking Room for SilenceSteph and Beth have an honest conversation about silence. They reflect on why it’s important to have silence, but why it can be hard to come by. Steph loves to be in the quiet of the woods, but Beth tends to be a verbal processor who’s never really in silence because of a condition called Tinnitus. They also talk about why we tend to avoid silence. Is it because it seems heavy (like a moment of silence), lonely, or even boring? If so, what are we missing out on when we fill every space? Are we, on some...
2020-09-1131 min
Discovering Our ScarsIs it OK to Feel Sorry for Someone?Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the difference between empathy and pity. Why do we feel sorry for people, and how do we communicate those feelings? How can we communicate empathy in a way that builds relationships instead of cutting off communication? Steph and Beth reflect on how it has felt to receive pity from other people and how that has informed the way they communicate to others. They also discuss how examining why we pity another person can produce self-awareness and personal growth.Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod48
2020-09-0432 min
Discovering Our ScarsThe Scars of a Lifelong Illness (with Daniel)In Episode 47, Steph and Beth are joined by special guest, Daniel Kuykendall. Steph and Daniel worked together at Apple about a decade ago and they’ve been friends ever since. Daniel is a commercial photographer and videographer, but he’s a guest on this episode to talk about something much more personal—his life as a Type 1 Diabetic. This is an honest conversation about the emotional and financial costs of a lifelong illness. Daniel shares openly about what life is like with an insulin pump and how he deals with the constant finger pricks and fluctuating blood sugar. He talks...
2020-08-2844 min
Discovering Our ScarsLosing Someone, During a PandemicIn Episode 46, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about what it’s like to lose someone during a pandemic. There has been a lot of attention on COVID deaths—rightly so—but how has COVID changed our grieving process even when COVID is not the cause of death? Steph shares stories about her grandmother who passed away (not from COVID) on the morning this episode was recorded. Beth talks about how COVID has disrupted funerals and memorial service rituals we normally rely on. COVID is a shared experience that seems to be making hard things harder. Then in Slice...
2020-08-2136 min
Discovering Our Scarsme f*ing tooIn Episode 45, Steph and Beth talk about the #MeToo movement and some of their #MeToo moments. They explore when the movement started and how they became aware of it. They have a healthy discussion about what they each think the phrase “sexual harassment” means (or doesn’t). Steph shares about being at an industry event and being touched inappropriately by an executive. Beth shares how memories of #MeToo moments from years ago linger and wonders out loud if her 40-something self would respond differently than her 20-something self. These experiences are important for women (and men!) to not only acknow...
2020-08-1452 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhy Can't You See My Scars?In Episode 44, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the pain of invisible emotional scars. If we break a bone, it gets set in a cast and no one doubts our pain. No one can see our emotional scars, but they manifest in a variety of ways. The cast tells the world we need to heal, but there’s nothing to signal our need for emotional healing—or is there? Steph and Beth talk about reacting to bad drivers and what to do when customer service becomes customer dis-service. Also, how does the current mask debate reflect those inte...
2020-08-0742 min
Discovering Our ScarsI Was "That" Christian (with Jamie)In Episode 43, Steph and Beth are joined by Jamie Kocur, author of My CCM Soundtracked Life: How I Became Disillusioned With the Music That Once Captivated Me. Jamie grew up a church-goer, but in her teens she became the kind of Christian who listened to only CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) and minimized her exposure to secular influences. She says she was “quietly judgmental” during that time. Working with the African Children’s Choir, she experienced a spontaneous, personal form of worship. When she returned to the US, the worship style that had captivated and sustained her, now felt empty. It fel...
2020-07-3147 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhy Everyone Hates LawyersIn Episode 42, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about Beth’s first career choice—lawyer. It seems like people love to hate lawyers, until they need one. They talk about everything from OJ Simpson to Casey Anthony to downloading a will from the internet (Spoiler Alert: Don’t Do That!). Are lawyers all in it just for the money, or is there something else driving them? Why did Beth choose to become a lawyer? What are some of the differences between criminal law and civil law? What kind of law did Beth practice? This is an honest conversation that w...
2020-07-2453 min
Discovering Our ScarsHow Siri Taught Me to Ask for What I WantIn Episode 41, Steph and Beth explore the art of asking for what you want. You have to know what you want in order to ask for it. Voice assistants like Siri, and Alexa (Steph and Beth’s favorite!) can only respond to a command when it is clearly stated. This translates into our human interactions, too. Whether you are dealing with a boss, a co-worker, a vendor, or even a sub-contractor on a home improvement project, you have to know what you want so you can clearly communicate your expectations. Sometimes when women are clear they are perceived as be...
2020-07-1745 min
Discovering Our ScarsWhat We Have Learned by Listening #BlackLivesMatterIn Episode 39, Steph and Beth reflect on what they have learned so far from the Black Lives Matter Movement. They both recognize that, as white women, they have a lot to learn and that refusing to learn allows racism to continue unchallenged. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about Juneteenth, Defund the Police, White Fragility, the effects of “Law and Order” government, and more. They also talk about how Steph’s mental hospital experience supports the idea that the police are being asked to do too much when it comes to non-criminal actions. This is an honest reflection about...
2020-07-0345 min
Discovering Our ScarsPeriod. (with Beth's Daughter)In Episode 38, Beth’s 16-year-old daughter joins Steph and Beth for an honest conversation about something that half the world’s population will deal with at some point—periods. Despite Beth’s reluctance, they tackle this from the perspective of three women in three different generations (Gen X, Millennial, and Gen Z). From Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret? to birth control pills, body shame, and even menopause, what do they share and what is unique to each generation? Is this something men should be in conversation about? Also, why do schools and businesses provide toilet paper free of ch...
2020-06-2645 min
Discovering Our ScarsShe's a Pastor, Yeah, I Said SHEIn Episode 37, Steph and Beth celebrate Beth’s Seminary graduation by talking about gender and calling. They share their experiences as women in male-dominated fields and how they handle internet trolls. They also have an honest conversation about the fact that some denominations do not allow women to preach and teach. Why is Beth a pastor even though the Bible says at 1 Timothy 2:12 that women can’t be pastors? Is Beth ignoring the Bible? Beth shares her experiences as a female pastor, including encounters with those who deny her calling (she also explains why it’s called a “calling”). In this ep...
2020-06-1940 min
Discovering Our ScarsThe Scars of Being Black in America (with Ashley)In Episode 35, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation with software engineer and DIY Blogger, Ashley Basnight, about #BlackLivesMatter. Recognizing that they, as two white women, definitely do NOT have all the answers, Steph and Beth reached out to Ashley with their uncomfortable questions. The three have an authentic conversation about why All Lives Matter is an insensitive and inappropriate response to #BlackLivesMatter, why protesting is important, why rioting and looting are happening, and why word choice matters when it comes to race. Full transcript and show notes here: https://dospod.us/e35Words we use...
2020-06-0542 min
Discovering Our ScarsAre You The Authority on YOU?In Episode 33, Steph and Beth return to their regularly scheduled programming after an 8-week series about the coronavirus pandemic. This episode is an honest conversation about why it’s important to be the authority on yourself. It’s important, but also difficult. Self-awareness takes courage! Steph and Beth talk about times they lacked the courage to really know themselves and what helped move them forward. What distracts us from self-awareness and what are the fears that derail us? How does loving yourself open you up to receive love? Beth talks about getting married at age 20 and how her marriage has...
2020-05-2227 min
Discovering Our ScarsEight Weeks In: It Took A Pandemic To...In Episode 32, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about what the pandemic has done to them ... in a good way. Why did it take a pandemic for Beth to feel rested? Why did it take a pandemic for Steph to truly enjoy her porch? How has the pandemic let you go of things you thought were non-negotiable or absolutely essential, like eating in restaurants? Steph and Beth even realize it took a pandemic for them to do not only a podcast series, but to move the podcast into weekly production! Full transcript and show notes here...
2020-05-1528 min
Discovering Our ScarsSix Weeks In: From Here to There (with Charlene)In Episode 30, recorded on April 29, 2020, Steph and Beth are joined by Charlene Garrett of Global Outreach and GOinnovation. Charlene works with missionaries and NGO’s in several countries throughout the world. She joins Steph and Beth for an honest conversation about how this pandemic is impacting everyday life globally. As we all stay “safer at home,” our perspective can be severely reduced. News reports don’t always help because they are focused on the progression of the disease or the politics of the progression, and less on the changes to daily life. Charlene takes us from HERE to THERE, sharing...
2020-05-0132 min