Shows
Loving On PurposeCorrelation Between Emotional and Physical HealthHave you ever wondered why when you're hungry you are quicker to be offended by circumstances in your life? Have you noticed that sometimes when you are disappointed you sometimes don't have the energy to start a new task and the option to take a nap sounds pretty inviting. Our physical well being and our emotional well being are interconnected. One doesn't function at it's best if one of them is not healthy. The best news ever is that understanding that nobody is their best self when they are hurting emotionally or physically. This awareness can make a huge differ...2023-09-2142 minLoving On PurposeUnconditionally Loving YourselfDo you love yourself? Did you know you are thanking God for His greatest creations if you do? Did you know that to unconditionally love yourself reduces stress? Did you know it can help you make better decisions? But the biggest benefit of all, it helps you love people that might be difficult to love. Unconditionally loving yourself means to love all of yourself....your strengths and your weaknesses . Listen to get some suggestions on how to love yourself unconditionally.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE...2023-09-1424 minLoving On PurposeFamily Members Who Don't Get AlongSometimes our heartbrokenness isn't over our relationship with an adult child but over unharmonious relationships between our adult children. It can have as much impact over us emotionally as a difficult relationship with a child. In this episode I speak to what your role is in such a circumstance and offer eight suggestions of what you can do to find peace in your life.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you ta...2023-09-0728 minLoving On PurposeBelieving Fiercely Can Strengthen Your Adult Child RelationshipWhat if you believe really hard that your relationship with your adult child could improve. Believing is the first step. When we really, really believe it can happen we change from having a despairing mindset to having a hopeful mindset. When we feel hope rather than despair we are motivated and determined to find opportunities to make it happen. Listen to this episode to hear 5 steps to having a better relationship with your adult children by first "believing fiercely".Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE...2023-08-3028 minLoving On PurposeThoughts for Viewing Your Life From A Positive PerspectiveHaving a bank of empowering thoughts in our brain can't help us feel the feelings we want to feel more of the time. I keep five or so of these thoughts, (which now have become default thoughts because I have practiced thinking them so often) in the front of my brain that allows me to not let the hard things in my life get me down. I have a better understanding of why opposition is necessary. But when Mr. Opposition or Mrs. Judgmental or Miss Negative shows up, I process the emotion for a minute or two and then one...2023-08-2417 minLoving On PurposeWhen Your Adult Children Are DisrespectfulDo you deal with disrespectful adult children? After all we sacrificed for them!!!. In this episode I offer some suggestions as to why they are disrespectful; what are some boundaries we can set so we are not the perennial "punching bag"; and what actions we can take to influence them to change their behavior. We can't control or change them but maybe making some changes in our behavior can influence them to stop criticizing you, or withdrawing from you. We make changes in our behavior by choosing love over judgement. We choose love by having loving or compassionate or respec...2023-08-171h 00Loving On PurposeDo Good To Feel GoodI get many of you asking what can I do to fill my time now that my children are raised that will be satisfying and fulfilling. Have you thought of volunteering? Some of you probably have but don't know where you to start. Listen to this episode to find out the benefits emotionally to volunteering, how to assess where you should volunteer, and also some specific places that need volunteers. One of the remedies I suggest to having a happy life when you are not spending as much time as you thought you would with your family is to "get...2023-08-1029 minLoving On PurposeQuestions and AnswersThank you for submitting questions regarding your relationship navigation with your adult children. Most relationships come down to what we focus on as to how we perceive whether it's accepting to us or not. We have a choice. To focus on the good in people or focus on what's not going right. We have a choice to love another person or to judge them. It's in our power to feel anyway we want about any relationship depending on what we choose to focus on and what we chose to think. In this episode I address specific questions sent in by som...2023-08-0344 minLoving On PurposeBattles Are Won By Serving OthersHas the disappointment and sadness over your relationship with an adult child been with you too long? Are you tired of missing out on a life you thought you were going to have? Making an effort to find those that need you might just be the perfect remedy; those that are suffering that need your love and help. We can't control our adult children. We can't help them if they don't want our help but there are people out there that would love to be involved in your life and you in there's. Focusing on serving others can bring happi...2023-07-2621 minLoving On PurposeBeing the Boss of Your BrainDo you find yourself judging others and find fault in others as your default thinking?It's your brains fault but you can change it; you can be uncharge of your brain instead of it reverting to its 3 motivational desires (which I explain in this episode). It takes some intentionality to be the boss. Listen to the 5 steps I give you to be able to default to noticing what is going right in your life rather than focusing what's gone wrong.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click ...2023-07-2030 minLoving On PurposeAdult Children Who Want No Contact With ParentsOne of the most difficult times a parent can go through is when they are told by their adult child they want no contact with them. The question is "now what"? If you fixate on this happening it could keep you stuck in despair the rest of your life. There is a way to move on. Of course you're going to feel hurt and disappointed. In this episode I tell you of three stages to go through to lessen the hurt. "Now what" is a choice you will have to make to find happiness and fulfillment in your life again. ...2023-07-1326 minLoving On PurposeLikabilityHave you ever questioned your likability? Is that something that is controllable?We were all born likable. We may have stronger likes for some than for others but that is because we all have preferences of what we like and don't like.Some people like peaches and some don't. It doesn't matter if you're the juiciest peach on the tree, you can't make people like you if they don't like peaches. We all have preferences about who we like to be around. And that's what makes our world be made of humans and not robots. Listen to find o...2023-07-0617 minLoving On PurposeThese Are the Kids We Were GivenOur adult children see what a good relationship with their adult parents looks like from a different perspective than we do. Because of the internet and social media, needs that were once being met by parents are now being met by Google and Facebook. Thus, where parents may see their relationship with their now adult children as distant, they may see it as perfect. Adult children are not intentionally ignoring their parents, they are taking responsibility for fulfilling their own needs, which are far different than their parents' needs, thus, parents tend to feel that are not a priority in...2023-06-2821 minLoving On PurposeAre You Missing Out on Life Because of Adult Child RelationshipWanting your relationship to be different than what it is with your adult children may be the very thing that is keeping you from living the life you want to live. What we want in a relationship with our children maybe different than what they want and sometimes this is why we see the relationship as not a close one. But what if nothing has gone wrong? What if this is what kind of relationship they want? It doesn't mean they don't love you. This episode is about using our pain of being misunderstood to understand the needs of our adu...2023-06-2214 minLoving On PurposeStay In Your Own BusinessDo you notice the less you know about your adult children's lives the fewer opinions you have as to the right or wrongness of their behavior? Why do we care what they are thinking? We can't change it. We are driven to know why they aren't coming to our house for dinner, again! We may not like the answer; we might not get the real reason. Your business is to become a better version of you, take care of your own needs , and love your children by respecting their agency. Listen to find out how staying out of your childr...2023-06-1430 minLoving On PurposeHappiness is Predicated Upon Your Attitude.What if I told you that your attitude, not external factors, is the key to unlocking happiness and improving your quality of life? Your attitude come from your thoughts not your circumstances. Listen to find strategies for becoming more conscious of our thoughts, practicing optimism, and developing acceptance with challenging circumstances. Your attitude is your choice; that means you can view life any way you wantHave you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you whe...2023-06-0832 minLoving On PurposeAutonomy: What Your Adult Child CravesThere are three things we all want: autonomy, respect by others of our agency, and not be told what to do. We all want to to be self governing of our lives. When we feel threatened that someone is taking our power away, we rebel and run away from this person. Even meaning-well parents, trying to make suggestions to their adult children often backfires by weakening or even losing the relationship with them. It's easy for adult children to feel that these suggestions imply they are not capable of making good decisions or that they are still being treated like...2023-06-0140 minLoving On PurposeCircumstances are NeutralCircumstances are everything that happens outside of us in our lives; world events, the weather, our past, what someone says or doesn't say to us. Circumstances are the facts of what's going on around us. They are the boring descriptions of our life. Circumstances are neutral. We were raised thinking it was the circumstances of our lives that caused us to feel a certain way. It was never taught to us that our feelings are caused by our thoughts about what we are making these circumstances mean. When it's raining and we feel disappointed, it's not the rain that makes...2023-05-2521 minLoving On PurposeChoosing to Feel the Bad and the UglyPart of being human is being willing to feel all of our emotions; being an emotional adult is being willing to feel" the good, the bad, and the ugly" parts of our lives. The Model is the most amazing tool. By using it, you can feel any feeling you want to feel just by intentionally choosing to think thoughts that cause you to feel the feeling you want to feel. But it can be misused. First we have to feel the negative feeling. Allow it to sit with us for a bit instead of resisting feeling it by drinking alcoh...2023-05-1840 minLoving On PurposeHow Inspirational Music Can Help You Feel Peace with Kristine CoxTune in this week to discover why inspirational music can help you stop feeling so much despair, especially that feeling of dread so many feel over Mother's Day, or any other circumstances that triggers those negative emotions that come from a mismanaged mind. Kristine shares why uplifting music is the perfect tool for new thoughts to enter your mind, almost instantly, that causes you to feel peace and calm and hope rather than despair. It's taking responsibility to take action, by listening to inspiring music, that often for many touches their soul so intensely, that the new thoughts instantly cau...2023-05-1057 minLoving On PurposeBe The Type of Person You Want To Be On PurposeWhat kind of person do you want to be? The first kind of person doesn't realize that their feelings are created by themselves and so they blame something outside of themselves for their negative emotions. They become victims to their circumstances, The second kind of person isn't a victim to their circumstances, but they change their circumstances , thinking they will feel better. The third kind of person takes responsibility of how they feel when life is not going as they would like by watching his mind and intentionally paying attention to and managing his thoughts which changes how he th...2023-05-0338 minLoving On PurposeThe Power of WordsHave you ever notice your choice of one word can cause a different feeling than another word? I'm not talking about opposite words but using just the right word, still a positive word, but a word that changes the meaning, thus, changing the feeling of the phrase or sentence. Example: You're concerned your child is making so many bad choices in their lives that he/she is destined to living an unhappy life. Someone says, "They're a good kid. They'll get their act together. They'll end up doing something good in their life." It's a nice, complimentary thing to say, but...2023-04-2752 minLoving On PurposeExpectation PainIs your life with your adult children as you pictured it would be? Or is nothing like what you had expected? Are you feeling unimportant? Ignored? Left out of their lives? Resentful? Disappointed? You are not alone. You are suffering what I refer to as expectation pain. What you were expecting life with your adult children is not happening. Do you think you might have a "manual" of how your adult children are supposed to be behaving? Listen to this episode to learn how to overcome expectation pain and what one expectation you are allowed to have that will help have a...2023-04-2033 minLoving On PurposeWhat Do You Want To Be Known ForIn thinking about who you want to be or become have you ever thought about what you would like to be known for? The idea for this episode came to me while watching the Masters Golf tournament on TV last weekend. A golfer was teeing off and I asked my husband who it was and why did I recognize him and not remember his name. His reply was "HE IS KNOWN FOR BEING DISHONEST." That made me start thinking. What am I known for and is that what I want to be known for? We can't control others thoughts and...2023-04-1325 minLoving On PurposeForgivenessWe know we are the beneficiaries when we forgive someone that has wronged us. But what about those people that don't deserve to be forgiven? It can be difficult to do. Our thoughts cause our feelings so that means our hurting is coming from the thoughts we are thinking. But it can be hard to change our thoughts when we can't believe them so that means we continue to feel hurt. I believe we are only able to believe the new thoughts to cause the pain to go away from the enabling power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. In thi...2023-04-0639 minLoving On PurposeJoy Comes From What We Focus OnHave you wondered why everyone is so full of joy on the day they get married? They don't care if it's snowing when it was supposed to be a sunny summer day; they don't care if the cake didn't arrive. It's because they are focusing on what matters most; they are focusing on what's going right! It can be one of the happiest days of our life because of what we are focusing on. Sometimes we have to intentionally look for something good to focus on that will bring us joy, often with difficult family members. Maybe the focus could...2023-03-3026 minLoving On PurposeThe FutureThe future is a mystery but yet we tend to spend a lot time thinking negatively about it that actually robs us of the present (which is a present and that's why it's called that). In this episode I give you 7 thoughts that will help you view the future more optimistically. We don't have control over the future but we can choose to view it with optimism.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers y...2023-03-2332 minLoving On PurposeSelf ConfidenceDo you know the difference between confidence and self confidence? Confidence is knowing you have the ability or skill to do something. I am confident I can bake a cake. Whereas, self confidence is the belief and trust we have about ourselves. When we are self confident we feel comfortable in our own skin. Listen to this episode to find out 7 ways we can foster it and help develop it in yourself. We were born to be creators. Lack of self confidence is a roadblock to creating the life we want to live.Have you received my new...2023-03-1624 minLoving On PurposeWhat To Say or Do In A Difficult SituationWe always want to know if we did or said the right thing in a touchy situation with our adult children. In this episode I give you 5 tips you can use to evaluate for yourself what to say or do. There is no right or wrong way to act in any situation. When my client ask "What should I say?" or "Is that ok to do?" I always respond with "What do you want to say"; "What do you want to do." You will have some guidelines after listening to this episode....2023-03-0941 minLoving On PurposeGod's Plan For MeWhat is God's plan for you? Did you know it's different than God's plan for your children. We can prove that but if look at all the different ways to grow in this life, all the different learning styles, we can assume that our "lessons" for becoming the person we want to become are going to be different than our children's. Our time is well spent if we focus on fixing ourselves instead of focusing on fixing our children. While we can agree with this thought, we often want to get in God's business of knowing what's best for our...2023-03-0123 minLoving On PurposeMother/Daughter Perspectives On How to Feel LovedThis is an interview I had with daughter Julie and mother Jane about their relationship with each other. Each shares their perspectives of what showing love, respect, and support to an adult child looks like. You will first hear from the Julie the daughter and then Jane the mom. Listen closely for the common thread of love, respect, and support each has for each other. Proof that love always wins; what happens when the parent puts her desires aside for the desires of her daughter; we don't know what's best for another person.Have you received my new...2023-02-2340 minLoving On PurposeObstacles Preventing You From Unconditionally Loving Your Adult ChildWhat are the obstacles keeping you from loving your adult children.? "Oh, but I do love them" you say. I say back to you, "if love feels so amazing, why are you so miserable."Love trumps every other emotion. Love will win every time. What's keeping us from feeling complete and whole that love offers to us to feel....our thoughts about our adult children's choices and behavior. It's not your child's fault that you are feeling disappointed, hurt, resentful, unloved, disrespected. It's your fault. It's what you are making your child's actions or inactions mean. I point...2023-02-1641 minLoving On PurposeBe The Boss Of Your BrainDo you see the glass half empty or half full? Would you like to view the world more positively? In this episode I tell you how to do this. "Sitting on our shoulders is the most complicated object in the know universe" .........Michio Kaku. And we all were given one. We can't control, nor would would want to, our heart beating or our breathing routine or our kidney function. But we can control which thoughts we want to think or believe. When we choose negative thoughts we will feel negative feelings; when we choose positive thoughts we feel positive feeling...2023-02-0939 min
Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard OstlerEpisode 611: Bonnie Lyman, Finding Hope and Peace When Adult Children Choose Different PathsMy friend Bonnie Lyman (active LDS, life coach, lives in Spokane, two of five children not participating in the Church) joins us to share her story. Bonnie (who is her 70’s and has been on this road for more than two decades) shares her story of finding peace and hope—and love for all her family. Bonnie has powerful gospel insights to find joy, peace, love for all her kids and how her dreams for her eternal family have not changed.
I was deeply moved by Bonnie and her maturity to deal with the complexities of life and still find peac...2023-02-0655 minLoving On PurposeBoundariesWe use the term boundaries pretty loosely. It's important to know when it's appropriate to use. We need to make sure we like our reason for setting a boundary verses making a request. A request is just that....a request. A boundary is a request but if not honored there is a consequence. The consequence needs to be what "YOU" will do if the request is not honored....not what the violator needs to do. The hardest part of setting a boundary is following through with the action you have established you will do if the request is not respec...2023-02-0244 minLoving On PurposeUnconditionally Loving Your Adult ChildrenLove is the most amazing feeling anyone can feel. My little Harvey (my grandson) loves his "lovey"....his ragged, little stuffed dog he calls Bunny. There are no conditions attached to loving his Bunny. Do you know why? Because it makes him feel so amazing. In this episode I talk about what LOVE feels like and what LOVE does. I'm talking specifically about loving children that are challenging to love. I talk about what we have to do to love others who are difficult to love. We can choose to love anyone we want....even if they...2023-01-2649 minLoving On PurposeFinding Fulfillment As An Empty NesterYour adult children are gone; off figuring life out on their own. Some of you find yourself unfulfilled because your life without them is not as you expected. Sometimes you are feeling unappreciated or disappointed. Some of you are feeling disconnected from these people you were once the most important person in their life. It's time to find a new way of spending your time. It's time to find a new passion; something that lights you up; something that makes you feel excited about getting up in the morning.In this episode, I talk about ways to find your...2023-01-1847 minLoving On PurposeMy daughter's, Jody Moore, interview with meThis is a replay of one of Jody Moore's podcast when she interviewed me about a year ago. I know many have heard this interview but many have not. I'm proud of this daughter of mine....just like I'm proud of my other 4 children and what they are doing in the world, maybe just not with the notoriety that Jody has. I love them all the same. You would think that a relationship between a mom and a daughter who both run a coaching business would be easy peasy. We are both human so that means we aren't always at our...2023-01-1145 min