Shows
Spooky Sh*tSS67: Incorruptible Catholics: Kissing Hearts and Eating Flesh with Special Guest Danni LinWhat the hell is going on with the Catholics?! Somebody call the pope! There is magic afoot! We've got bodies that ain't rotting. And bread is turning into celestial super-flesh. And what's with the dead body parts going on tours of Raging Waters? Today Hope and Brandi sit down with our special guest, Danni Lin, to discuss the wack things Catholics put in their mouths.
Check out our instagram at https://www.instagram.com/spookyshitpod/?hl=en
2020-12-021h 02
Art SistoryBernini's Fall From Grace (For Like Three Weeks)Here he is! Ring the bells! Sound the trumpets! Brandi's favorite artist is here and it is Bernini. Our beautiful baroque boy is the cream of the crop, queen of rome, and master of marble. And you make think this perfect sculptor never struggled in his whole career well YOU WOULD BE WRONG. Our sweet innocent babe was cheated and besmirched by jealous architects who knew nothing about art! But our precious lad would not be down for long. Join us as we discuss exactly how he catapulted himself right back to the top. Check our instagram f...
2019-12-2550 min
Art SistoryArt Sis Collab! Lilly Martin Spencer's Spread-Eagle ChickenShe stretches her hand out towards you. Will you shake it?!?! Historical AF Podcast and Art Sistory say "yes!" in this collab from the pre-Civil War stars! And Shake Hands? (1854) is the wonderfully weird painting Kyna and Natalee have brought for us to put to the test today. Join us as we go on a journey with Lilly Martin Spencer, a plethora of sugar art daddies, and some cheeky paintings which men were just too dumb to understand. Find more Historical AF Podcast here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1459756725 And check our instagram h...
2019-12-1836 min
Art SistoryEp 38: Michelangelo Never Showered Even OnceThe Sistine Chapel (1508) is the triumph/torture of world's most famous and crustiest artist. Michelangelo may have never painted before but there was one thing he was definitely a master of; being a lil' bitch. And by lil', I mean absolutely gigantic. Today we tackle this monster and dish all the goss on our final ninja turtle and the lord of the twunks. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-12-1152 min
Art SistoryRaphael, Hard Boiled Eggs, & Feminine BaguettesRaphael! Master of the Renaissance! Painter of Beauty! And a sweet perfect boy who charmed all he met. All except... Michelangelo! Why did the almighty painter of twunks hate our sweet angel baby? And what did Raphael do about it? Come with us on the Dolce Vita as we dish the goss on the only heterosexual ninja turtle and reveal how the sweet can also be a bit spicy... Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-12-0447 min
Art SistoryWe Stan a Power Top*Attention! This episode has discussions of sexual assault and rape. Skip the below timecodes if needed** No one paints a head chopping like Artemisia Gentileschi. It's got all you could ever want: blood, horror, drama, and a badass woman empowered by sweet righteous fury. Artemisia is the queen of the Baroque and queen of my heart. Don't take my word for it. Just look at her art. 18:23 - 27:47 discussion of sexual assault, rape, and torture Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@g...
2019-11-2750 min
Art SistoryWe Stan a Power BottomIf there was any sculpture that could be called the gayest, it would be this. Donatello's David (1450s) is a bastion of homoerotic glory. From his booty to his tooty, he is the one twink to rule them all. Step aside haters, because this David embodies queer culture in Renaissance Florence and even Michelangelo's legendary twunk is quaking. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-11-2046 min
Art SistoryHorny For GodIt's a wild love story filled with passion and hardships in Renaissance Florence! A painter, forced to be a friar, and his beautiful model, forced to be a nun, a romance that can never be but falling in love anyway. JK! Actually it's just one horny dude and a nun he may or may not have kidnapped. Fra Filippo Lippi is the first rascal of the Renaissance and while no Medici could pin him down, he'll always have a place in our hearts. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And emai...
2019-11-1352 min
Art SistoryThe Medicis Got BALLS*Attention! This episode has discussions of gore, murder, and violence. Skip the below timecodes if needed** We are in the CRADLE OF THE RENAISSANCE! Florence town. Firenze is finally here. Brandi's heart explodes. And boy oh boy does she have a story for us. Easter Sunday. The Duomo. And MURDER?!?! Oh baby, stay tuned and find out why you never kill the hot and popular, siding with the pope is dumb, and balls balls balls always wins. 37:10 - 40:20 discussion of violent stabbing and murder 47:18 - 48:31 discussion of hanging 48:52 - 51:58 - discussion o...
2019-11-0659 min
Art SistoryWhat Even is the Venice Biennale?It's a spectacle. It's a popularity contest. It's a fun fair. It's a nightmare. Welcome to the 58th Venice Biennale! It's the art olympics where countries compete to be most... something. And Danni is here to sift through the garbage for you! And what has she found? Oh! More garbage! (In the form of the Biennale's Gold Lion winner, Jimmie Durham) Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-10-3051 min
Art SistoryA Very Good, Very Nasty BoyHave you ever seen an artist that is all BALLS and no SH*T? That's Tintoretto, the nastiest boy in the best way. His art is quick, cheap, and bitchy. It's everything you could ever want in an artist. That is unless, you are one of his many rivals! Come with us as we tell the tale of the nastiest boy who ever was and how this little dirt child started at the bottom and now he here. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.c...
2019-10-2348 min
Art SistoryDanni Bullies Goya for 51 MinutesWow. We love Goya. From his bad paintings to his charming smile to his general lumpiness. And we aren't the only ladies who loved a little Goya in their lives. Join us as we talk about the two potential hotties who posed for his infamously sexy La Maja Vestida (1805) and La Maja Desnuda (1800). Plus some discussion of a few perverts, secret love affairs, and the Spanish Inquisition for good measure. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-10-1651 min
Art SistoryArt Sis Collab! A Nipple Pinchin' Satan Canoodlin' WitchHave you ever seen a painting and thought, "what"? Well, that's exactly how you should feel when face to face with the most WTF paintings in the Louvre, Gabrielle d'Estrées and One of her Sisters (1594). But fear not! Because in a landslide collaboration between two badass art podcasts, Kieve Rodeheaver of Please Touch the Art Podcast, is here to tell us all about this hot lady, her scandalous dealings with the devil, and why the hell she's getting her nipple pinched. Find more of Kieve here! https://www.krodeheaverart.com/please-touch-the-art And check our inst...
2019-10-0937 min
Art SistoryVelazquez is Good at PaintingIt is the puzzle that stumps all art historians. The enigma painting. The truly inscrutable masterpiece. It is Las Meninas (1656) by Diego Velazquez. What is going on in this ding dang thing!? Art historians have been debating that for centuries. We might never know. But one thing we do know for sure? Velazquez is very good at painting. And this just might be the best painting ever painted. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-10-0247 min
Art SistoryThis One's Gross (Danni is Sorry)*Attention! This episode has discussions of gore and executions. Skip the below timecodes if needed** This week we got nasty! Well, mostly Danni. She became compelled to tell the frightful story of James Scott and his horrible portrait that hangs in London's National Gallery. Now London has a long and varied history of death and disgust but Danni may have found the worst of the bunch! This one gets bloody. And we are all sorry. 24:22 - 27:53 talk regarding executioners (little gore discussed) 27:53 - 29:52 brief discussion of first botched execution (some gore) 29:52...
2019-09-2443 min
Art SistoryPreRaphealites and PubesWe are in Victorian England! And there's nothing the Victorians loved more than a scandal. And John Everett Millais was an expert at getting wrapped up in them. Yes, his painting, Christ in the House of his Parents (1849), was so shocking that Charles Dickens denounced it publicly. But that's child's play for Millais. The real juice comes from his wife, Effie Gray, and her salaciously non salacious marital status. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-09-1859 min
Art SistoryArt Sis Collab! Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun Proves Men are TrashOur good friend and french art history buff, Hadley Leary, sent us on a mission to find the one, the only, Élisabeth Louise Vigée Le Brun and her painting, Peace Bringing Back Abundance (1780). This painting was Le Brun's slap to the patriarchy! Her karate chop to the systemized oppression! And her refusal to be pinned down as just one kind of painter. She is a fireball of feminist excellence (and also maybe possibly definitely had a lesbian affair with Marie Antoinette). Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us...
2019-09-1453 min
Art SistoryPicasso Stole The Mona LisaWhat is it about her? Her knowing gaze? Those bald brows? That subtle smile? There is something about the Mona Lisa (1503) that makes everybody go gaga! Kings were poopin' with it! Boys were throwing themselves off buildings for it! And the French police were accusing Picasso of stealing it! What is the story behind this enigmatic lady and what Da Vinci code secrets could she be concealing? Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-09-111h 01
Art SistoryThe Venus de Milo Looks Better That WayWe've made it to Paris and it's got the key to our heart. This town also got more art than any town has the right to have. And out of all the masterpieces upon masterpieces at the Louvre we found the greatest one of all: The Venus de Milo. Is it because of her beauty? Her grace? Her rarity? Her importance? Of course not! It's because some 100 year old French marketing campaign said it was the best and we all believed it! Come with us and find out why the Venus de Milo stands on a bed of lies...
2019-09-0438 min
Art SistoryJust a Daisy Chain of BonesDid you know that there is a church on the outskirts of Prague, decorated with hundreds of human bones?!? With all those bones, you gotta wonder, who do they belong to? And that's just what Danni is here to tell us! And the story takes us through cookin' gooses, multiple crusades, battle wagons, and a skin drum. Join us as we explore the Sedlec Ossuary and all the wild things that went into it's bone daisy chains. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-08-2848 min
Art SistoryArt Sis Collab! We All Hate Černý's Hot BabiesWelcome to our first ever collab episode! Today our good friend and Prague expert, Eve Asher, sent us on a horrible adventure to see the art of the resident Czech Republic Bad Boy, David Černý. His art may be full of cheeky twists and turns but the one thing we can all be sure of is that Černý sucks! Today, we saw his Babies (1999) sculptures which are horrible and good fun but be warned, they will burn your butt off if you climb them in the sun. Beezle learned that the hard way. Check our instagram for more d...
2019-08-2345 min
Art SistoryOne Does Not Say No to Sarah BernhardtHow does one man's art go from petty theater dressings to gracing every teens' phone case and tumblr background? Well, all it takes is talent, sugar daddies, luck, and call from the one and only Sarah Bernhardt. That's the exact cocktail our Czech friend, Alphonse Mucha, cooked up that launched him to stardom! And now every pretty Art Nouveau illustration of a lady with flowing drapery and frilly flowers is his fault. And your new obsession with Sarah Bernhardt is my fault. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email...
2019-08-2144 min
Art SistoryNefertiti is HotHave you ever seen somebody so hot you think, hey, that can't be real? That's not allowed! That should be impossible! Well, neither had we until we saw THE QUEEN!! The Bust of Nefertiti (1345) is like Angelina Jolie in Maleficent peak hotness but brown. And the real Queen Nefertiti is even better. She changed the canon, changed the religion, and changed THE GAME. Come learn about Nefertiti's legacy, incest?!?, piracy, Hitler, and more in this episode of Art Sistory! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us a...
2019-08-1442 min
Art SistoryEp 21: Harry Potter and The Severan TondoThe Severan Tondo (200) will blow ya goddamn mind. First of all, it features the family of the Roman Emperor, Septimus Severus, a guy who won the throne after the bloody Year of the 5 Emperors. But that's not even the crazy part. His son's face is erased in one of the most widespread and famous cases of Damnatio Memoriae ever found. Annnnd, he's probably definitely most likely Severus Snape's dad. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-08-0743 min
Art SistoryGeertje Gonna Get Her MoneyOn the finale of our Russia extravaganza, Danni takes us to the most famous painting in the Hermitage, Danaë (1636)! Now she looks a little... melted.. now but that doesn't mean she doesn't contain multitudes! And she does! Like underneath that face modeled off of Rembrandt's girlfriend, is the face of his dead wife! Woof! Rembrandt you got some 'splaining to do! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-07-3146 min
Art SistorySpilled Blood Church is Hardcore!!The Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood is the most rock n' roll church in all of Russia. And it's not just the name, Spilled Blood has the chutzpah to back it up. She's got gingerbread aesthetic, bombs in the ceiling, Potato Jesus, and a curse on the Soviet Union! Hang on tight as Brandi attempts to describe the last 200 years of Russian history in 20 minutes. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-07-2450 min
Art SistoryFabergé Eggs in your Grandma's AtticWe made it to Europe! And our first stop: Fabergé Eggs. Who made 'em? Who were they for? And why are these dumb little things so expensive?! Danni is here to tell you all about it! And it's much more involved than you might expect. Haven't you heard? There's a rumor in St. Petersburg... Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-07-1748 min
Art SistorySt. Louis Cathedral Got GhostsNew Orleans always got music playin', start in the daytime go all through the night. Especially abouts the witching hour when the haunting sound of a funeral hymn comes from the St. Louis Cathedral. And if you went to investigate (and why would you, New Orleans is the most haunted city in the US, ya dummy!!), you just might see the ghost of Pere Dagobert and the echos of a midnight mass he held in secret more than 200 years ago. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at a...
2019-07-1044 min
Art SistoryLil' Sis 02: Why is The Blue Dog Famous?If you've ever been to New Orleans, you may have seen this dog. Just a yellow eyed little so-and-so plastering every hotel, street corner, and restaurant! So why is he so famous? Well, Danni is here to let us know with a story of Cajun werewolves, haunted houses, and Bill Clinton. Also, this will be the last Lil' Sis on the main channel! We'll be posting all our Lil' Sis episodes on Patreon from now on. Check 'em out! https://www.patreon.com/artsistory Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/
2019-07-0626 min
Art SistoryJust a Giant Appropriative PenisBy this point you must know that Art Sistory loves America, the greatest country in the world. We've got all our pals to thank for that: Tommy J, Benji Frank, Lin Manuel Miranda. But no one can forget the greatest hero of all time, George Washington! Mostly because we built a giant white penis for him in the middle of our capital. But did you know that penis is shrouded in secrets and mystery?! You will! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-07-0344 min
Art SistoryIt's Jack BlackThis episode is about two things: our beautiful perfect country and bad art! Yes this portrait of Paul Revere (1768) may look just like Jack Black (and it is Jack Black) but that doesn't stop Danni from calling it like it is! Which is an ugly painting. Maybe because it was painted by a good for nothing British loving stink weasel! We'll let you decide. EAGLES! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-06-2642 min
Art SistoryPssst... They're VaginasHave you ever wondered what 39 famous and influential women's vaginas look like? Well you're in luck!! The Dinner Party (1979) by Judy Chicago is just that! Unless you want to see any women of color or trans women... The Dinner Party (1979) by Judy Chicago is not that! Ha ha ha! We're conflicted. Join us as we discuss this Last Supper for ladies. Dan Brown would approve. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-06-1949 min
Art SistoryMadame X is Bringing Décolletage BackMadame X is an unconventional beauty! Completely unpaintable! And hopelessly lazy! But she can do whatever she wants. Why? Well it's not just because she's wealthy. Her soul is rich. She knows it. John Singer Sargent knows it. And you know it. Mmm mmm MMM! I feel a scandal a brewin'! Don't you? Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-06-1246 min
Art SistoryPraise Be Rosa Bonheur and her Bisexual Socialist GodRosa Bonheur is the original feminist, lesbian, butch, farmcore, horse girl and we must all praise her. She grew up worshiping socialist jesus. She was openly married to her childhood sweetheart, Nathalie. She tricked the police into letting her wear pants. She chain smoked. She hunted. And painted horses with anime eyes. Rosa did it all in the goddamn 1880s and every person on the planet needs to know about her. Her bombastic life literally blew our brains out and it will probably fuck you up for a few days. Check our instagram for more details! https://w...
2019-06-0543 min
Art SistoryJuan De Pareja Is My BoyfriendWhat is in an expression? Is it pride? Sadness? Anger? Love? Why not all at once! Today we discuss our first piece at The Met, "Juan De Pareja" (1650), a captivating portrait by none other than Diego Velasquez, the paragon of the Spanish baroque. Juan may be an enigma but one thing we know is true: he's a stone cold fox, baby! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-05-2937 min
Art SistoryThe House on the Rock is Bad DisneylandHave you ever thought you were going to a house and ended up in an endless horror maze cooked up by a mad man boy child? Well that's what happened to us when we showed up at The House on the Rock in Spring Green, Wisconsin. Imagine a dust maze full of forged Faberge eggs, baroque music machines, sea monsters, and haunted doll bathrooms. It may be the door to the God world but we just call it a crusty old fever dream that everyone needs to see. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.co...
2019-05-2247 min
Art SistoryApollo, The Sexy Baby with Dead EyesThe only original Praxiteles sculpture might just be in Cleveland, Ohio. Or it might be a 19th century lawn gnome. We may never know. And Cleveland certainly isn't telling us. Welcome to our newest episode of twists, turns, art dealing conspiracies, and a nightmarish 4 day old god. It's a good fun time, we swear. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-05-1547 min
Art SistoryEveryone Listen Except Anish KapoorHave you ever seen a big big mirror bean and thought, this is the center of a giant art battle between good and evil? Well it is! "Cloud Gate" (2006), otherwise known as The Bean, was created by a big angry baby who doesn't know how to share and the art world will not let that slide. Let's jump into this years long feud between artists which has created colors, destroyed apartments, and compelled Guy Fieri to cook the art. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gm...
2019-05-1044 min
Art SistoryMary Cassatt is Best Artist, Fight MeThis is it. Perhaps the best art? At the very least, it's better than Degas. "The Child's Bath" (1893) by Mary Cassatt is the art that convinced baby Danni to be an artist. Get ready for some in depth discussions about being a powerful, perfect, best, feminist, impressionist artist who puts all her whiny boy contemporaries to shame. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-05-0841 min
Art SistoryAll American Goths Wear Overalls"American Gothic" (1930). You know this painting. You've seen this painting. It's got memes, it's got parodies, it's got everything. And it's just a boring portrait of two farmers! Right....? No way! Why would we talk about it if it was boring!? In this episode, Brandi takes us on a journey to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and explains why this painting made a woman want to bite the artist's ear off. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-05-0339 min
Art SistoryBend It Like BeckmannMax Beckmann just can't catch a break! Becoming a medic in WWI, a bunch of nazis calling his art trash, getting exiled from home, being forced to deal with the US visa system! It would drive anyone to madness. Which is why Danni is here to talk all about his "Self-Portrait" (1950) at the St. Louis Art Museum! Let's delve into Max's broken brain and the dumb dumb way he did die. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-05-0128 min
Art SistoryEcho and the Curse of Hot TeensA big huge holy moley is it gigantic head, sitting in the middle of the Olympic Sculpture Park, and her name is "Echo" (2011). The monumental sculpture by Juame Plensa is named after a little chatty lady from Greek mythology. And Brandi just can't wait to tell you all about her entanglement with horny gods, a horrible curse, and her crush on the hottest teen you've ever seen. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-04-2440 min
Art SistoryDon't Say It Like 'Yehaw'We in Seattle! And today we talk about the show, 'yəhaw̓', at the King Street Station. 200 different indigenous artists, a revolutionary curatorial process. Plus Danni just might have a crush on Michaila Taylor and her painting, "Ciuliaq" (2019). We're talkin' parkas, the right to wear red, and why we don't bump our heads on the sky anymore. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-04-2332 min
Art SistoryLil' Sis: Cadillac Ranch Is Mud DolphinsWe're in Amarillo! And this is a Lil' Sis, a little baby podcast within a podcast. Today we stumble across a weird art literally jammed into the side of the freeway. And give you just a little taste of the goss. Because with a Lil' Sis, we get right to the point. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-04-2214 min
Art SistoryTeotihuacan's Stolen ChonksToday Brandi and Danni continue their exploration at the de Young museum in San Francisco with the Harald Wagner Teotihuacan Murals (6th century). These mural chunks come from the ancient Mesoamerican city of Teotihuacan, the ding dang City of The Gods. These chunks are awesome! And definitely WEREN'T illegally hacked straight off the wall. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-04-2139 min
Art SistoryGaugin is a Bad Bad Nasty Bad ManJoin us in this first episode of Art Sistory! Brandi and Danni have traveled to the San Francisco de Young museum to see the “Tahitian Woman With a Flower” (1891), by Paul Gauguin. Gaugin may get his own special exhibition but that won't stop Danni from raking him over the coals and setting his nasty nasty legacy aflame. He's the worst bad icky icky bad man and we can't wait to share with you how much we hate him. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
2019-04-2043 min
Art SistoryArt Sistory TrailerCheck out the trailer for the newest traveling art history podcast, Art Sistory! Brandi and Danni are two sisters that just happen to be dead inside. But they found a solution: art!
2019-04-1100 min
Spooky Sh*tSS 22: A Haunted Painting of a Photo of a Photo of a PaintingWe have a special guest on today’s episode: it’s Spooky Shit’s #1 fan and art expert Danni Lin! All three of us share very scary stories about haunted paintings. If you don't like hearing about paintings coming to life and filling your house with anguished sobs, this episode is not for you. You can find Danni’s amazing unhaunted art at dannilin.com.
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2017-10-0600 min