Shows
Distributed.Mastering communication and teamwork as a remote engineer with Callie BurucharaHow do soft skills shape success in a remote-first world?In this episode of the Distributed podcast, Host Jack Hannah chats with Callie Buruchara, Senior Software Engineer at Uplift Agency, to explore how mastering communication and emotional intelligence (particularly in a remote work setting) can transform your career. Callie shares her journey from high school English teacher to software engineer and how her people-first approach became her superpower. Plus, hear Callie’s take on balancing deep work, managing expectations, and why some of the toughest lessons often come from une...
2025-01-3042 min
Dev Leader PodcastPrioritize This CRITICAL Skill as a Developer - Interview With Callie BurucharaThis is the first EVER software engineering interview done on Dev Leader, and I was excited to be able to have my first awesome guest:
Callie Buruchara!
Callie knows that communication is a critical skill to have in software engineering, and she's experienced first-hand how big of a difference it can have even in a highly technical field. In fact, most people greatly over-prioritize their technical skills instead of communication!
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You can get in touch with Callie:
2024-06-281h 01
Coding ChatsFrom English teacher to Software Engineer with Callie BurucharaCoding Chats Episode 1 - John talks to Callie Buruchara about her journey from English teacher to Senior Software Engineer at New Relic.
Links:
Callie's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/callie-buruchara/
Callie's Website: https://majorityofwork.com/
Callie's Podcast: https://majorityofwork.buzzsprout.com/
John's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johncrickett/
John's Twitter: https://twitter.com/johncrickett
Check out John's software engineering related newsletters:
Coding Challenges: https://codingchallenges.substack.com/ which shares real-world project ideas that you can use to level up your coding skills.
Developing Skills: https://developingskills.substack.com/ covering everything from system design to soft skills, helping...
2024-04-2542 min
Down To Earth with the BurucharasBONUS: Neurodivergence & Relationships with Jeremy and Ilana HamburghIn the final episode of season 4, Callie and David talk with Jeremy and Ilana from mybestsociallife.com. Whether you are on the spectrum, consider yourself neurodivergent, or know someone who is, this episode is for you! We talk about:Jeremy and Illana's career transitions from law and special-ed to helping people on the spectrum find community, make friends, start dating, and find loveHow Jeremy became the "Hitch" for people on the autism spectrum, as mentioned in The AtlanticWhy datin...
2023-12-1551 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasNavigating Relationships With Parents Q&AIn today's episode, Callie and David answer some of your burning questions about navigating adult relationships with parents. Thanks to all of you who took the time to submit questions that include:dealing with your in-law's problematic behaviorhow to relate to and honor step-parentsdealing with an abusive step-parent from another cultureattending therapy to address issues with your parentsand more!--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any...
2023-12-0159 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasGetting Along with Your In-LawsIn this week's episode, Callie and David open up about their respective relationships with their in-laws, discussing the joys and the risks that in-law relationships can bring. They also share 4 key rules for successfully relating with your in-laws. Join in on the conversation as we unravel the art of balancing love, boundaries, and understanding in the world of in-law relationships.Submit your questions for this season's Q&A episode here: Season 4 Q&A Submission Form-----------...
2023-11-0358 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasSeason 4 TrailerCallie and David are back for Season 4! Listen in to find out what relationship topic we'll be exploring this season!--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr
2023-08-0402 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasDating Q&AIn today's episode, Callie and David answer some of your burning questions about dating. Thanks to all of you who took the time to submit questions; here are the questions tackled in order:(04:07) Should I still date someone I don’t find attractive? (09:23) On paper, they’re perfect, but there's no chemistry. What do I do?(14:14) When should I bring up my past relationships?(22:08) We agreed to meet but haven’t heard from him. Should I let it go?(28:20) How quickly do you bring up things...
2023-03-311h 19Down To Earth with the BurucharasDTR: Defining The Relationship In DatingIn this episode, Callie & David explore the important but often awkward "defining the relationship" conversation when dating. The DTR conversation can be the crucial difference between intentionally moving forward in a relationship or letting circumstances and faulty assumptions shape your dating experience. Join us as we dive into:When to have the DTR talk and how to initiate it Common fears and misconceptions about DTRTips for handling the conversation with grace and honestyDealing...
2023-03-241h 02Down To Earth with the BurucharasFrom Small Talk To Heartfelt Connection: A Guide To Meaningful Date ConversationsIn this episode, Callie & David talk about conversations to have on dates that can drastically improve your dating experience. They share tips for less awkward interactions and more natural, fun, & meaningful discussions. They also provide helpful tools w/ examples for assessing whether it’s worth going on a 2nd or 3rd date. Join us as we explore:Transitioning from small talk to deep talkConversation topics on a dateDisclaimers vs. explanationsLeading with vulnerability & clarityJ...
2023-03-171h 19
Down To Earth with the BurucharasSingle & Dating: A Best Friend's Perspective with Emely UmañaShare your questions for our upcoming Dating Q&A + vote for the season 4 theme: www.bit.ly/dte-survey In this special episode, Callie has a conversation with her best friend Emely Umaña. As they reminisce about their 15-year friendship, Emely opens up about her personal journey with singleness and dating. With grace and wisdom, Emely reflects on how her attitude and approach to dating has evolved over time, and shares valuable insights for anyone navigating their dating journey. ----...
2023-03-101h 14Down To Earth with the BurucharasExpanding Your Dating Pool: How To Meet People IRL And OnlineIn this episode, Callie and David share tips and insights on how to meet potential partners within and beyond your current circles. They discuss different places and spaces where many couples first meet but most significantly, they emphasize the importance of approaching dating with a mindset that prioritizes reasonable efforts over immediate results.--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in t...
2023-03-031h 10Down To Earth with the BurucharasHow Attachment Styles Impact DatingAttachment theory suggests that the quality of our early relationships with caregivers - how we received love - shapes our attachment style, influencing how we form and maintain relationships throughout our lives. In this episode, Callie and David delve into how our frustrating patterns in dating are often related to our attachment styles. They explore how we can better understand ourselves, relate with others, and build more secure dating dynamics.--------------------------------We're eager ...
2023-02-241h 23Down To Earth with the BurucharasRethinking Your Dating "Type"Is it helpful to have a "type" when we date? Or should our tastes be more flexible when finding love? In this episode, David and Callie talk about what their types were before they met, exploring: the 3Ps that influence our typewhy it's important to question your typehow our type is often not actually our typeand how to differentiate between values and type in dating--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions...
2023-02-101h 13Down To Earth with the BurucharasThe 3 Dating TendenciesWelcome back to season 3! In this first episode, Callie and David talk about the 3 dating tendencies: a helpful framework that highlights three common blind spots most people have in their dating lives. Taken from Logan Ury's book, How To Not Die Alone, finding out your tendency can help you understand the struggles you face in your dating journey along with strategies to help you overcome them. Find out your dating tendency at: https://loganury.com/quiz ---------------------------...
2023-02-0341 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasOur 100th Episode, A Special Interview, & Something NewIn this 100th and final episode of season 2, Callie takes over and switches things up for a change. Also, tune in for to learn more about our newsletter launching next week!Sign up for our newsletter launching Oct 14 at theburucharas.com!--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr
2022-10-0735 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasOur Table Mountain StorySign up for our newsletter launching Oct 14 at theburucharas.com!---On Sunday morning February 23rd, 2020, David and Callie, then a freshly married couple, embarked on what they thought would be a pleasant 2-3 hour hike up the Platteklip Gorge trail of Table Mountain in Cape Town, South Africa. Little did they know, a day-long adventure was awaiting them...this is the story. --------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggest...
2022-09-2348 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas5 Ways To Grow Your Relationship From Good To GreatToday's episode is inspired by a conversation Callie recently had with a friend and regular listener of the podcast. As they chatted, she shared, " I love your podcast and your relationship. But sometimes it just feels...unattainable." In this episode, David and Callie clarify how far from perfect their relationship is and share five attainable steps they've taken over the past 7 years, with much much grace, to grow their relationship to where it is today. -------------------------------...
2022-09-0953 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasDating Q&A - Does He Like Me? Should A Man Pursue? Attracted To Multiple People? Not Attracted?In this episode, Callie and David tackle four dating questions submitted on Instagram recently by listeners! Here are the questions: 00:00 - How can you tell a guy likes you?12:25 - What does it mean to let a man pursue you, and is it even a legitimate principle to follow?30:26 - What to do when you are attracted to more than one person?41:20 - I've given them a chance, but I'm just not attracted to them. What do I do?Follow @davidburuchara on Instagram to keep posted on upcoming polls to sub...
2022-07-2248 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasChore Wars: How To Keep Household Chores From Hurting Relationships80% of couples that live together disagree and stress about household chores. But these disagreements often say more about the relationship than the monotonous tasks being argued about! Whether you're in a romantic relationship or not, understanding how to navigate chores with the people you live with is an essential skill for a happier life. Join Callie and David as they share their chore war history and how they're learning to love each other through it. -------------------------------...
2022-07-1550 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasIndependence, Codependence, & Interdependence In RelationshipsIn this episode, David and Callie discuss maintaining the delicate and beautiful balance of interdependence in relationships. On one side of the spectrum is independence, where too much of it means you don't have a relationship. The other side is codependence, where you can't tell the difference between two individuals because they are so enmeshed. We each tend to lean towards one side based on several factors (e.g. at the beginning of a relationship, more independence is reasonable). By firs...
2022-07-0845 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasDo Relationships Take "Work"?In this shorter episode, reacting to a comment from a New York Times article, Callie and David share their thoughts on what "work" means in a relationship. Should a relationship require work? How much work and what kind of work? Is there a danger in idolizing "work" and hardship/suffering in relationships? --------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via thi...
2022-06-1732 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasAgree to Disagree: Unresolvable Conflict In RelationshipsIs it ever okay to agree to disagree? Does doing so ever bring people closer together or only ever push them further apart? While there's much to say about this topic in our polarized society, in this episode, David and Callie open up about conflicts in their relationship where agreeing to disagree has gone both well and not so well. The Gottman Institute reports that 69% of conflict is unresolvable, meaning successful relationships are where people learn how to navigate instead of avoiding t...
2022-06-0358 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasHow We Love/Attachment Theory (Part 2) with David & CallieJoin Callie and David for the 2nd part of this short series on attachment theory, exploring how attachment explains our unique patterns for seeking and avoiding connection. David and Callie have been reading through "How We Love" by Milan & Kay Yerkovich, a highly recommended resource to learn about your attachment (love) style and how to improve the quality of your relationships. In this episode, they reflect on their individual styles and how it has impacted their relationship. We...
2022-05-271h 13Down To Earth with the BurucharasPerfectionismWhat does perfectionism mean to you? And what does perfectionistic thinking look like in your day-to-day life? Is it healthy or is there a better way? In this week's episode, Callie and David talk about perfectionism in their lives and explore a more healthy method to grow and mature in excellence. This discussion applies to all parts of life, including relationships.--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just...
2022-05-0647 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasLet's Talk About Therapy/Counseling - Part 2In this episode, Callie and David continue a 3-part series discussing therapy/counseling. They pick up continuing to discuss common hesitations that arise when considering therapy and also dive into how you can practically go about finding an affordable counselor or therapist in your area.The 3rd part of the series will be a Q&A with a licensed clinical psychologist, so please pass on your questions, reactions, and thoughts! We want to hear from you, yes you! Submission details are shared...
2022-04-011h 02Down To Earth with the BurucharasLet's Talk About Therapy/Counseling - Part 1In this episode, Callie and David begin a 3-part series discussing therapy/counseling. The idea of therapy and counseling may have a unique meaning for you depending on your culture, religious background, and previous experience with therapy or counseling. As you consider what therapy means to you, you are welcome to the table as David and Callie share their own experiences in today's episode and why they believe everyone should consider therapy. They also share a few essential things t...
2022-03-2556 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasConfronting A FriendIn today's episode, Callie & David talk about the necessity of confrontation in friendships. Confrontation is often interpreted as being aggressive or negative, but in reality, confronting an issue is all about facing it in a truthful, mature, and respectful way in order to build a closer relationship. However, sometimes it's not our friends we need to confront first, but ourselves. Join the conversation to learn more about navigating this often difficult part of friendships!-------------...
2022-03-1858 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas3 Communication Patterns That Harm FriendshipsIn this episode, Callie and David have a nuanced conversation and share personal experiences about subtle yet common communication patterns that when perpetuated, lead to less connected and intimate friendships. As they address these patterns, they also suggest ways to safely confront our friends about them even though it might bring some discomfort.--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get...
2022-03-1139 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasHow To Deal With Your Partner’s PastOne of the keys to securing a fulfilling relationship is leaving the past where it belongs. But how do you know if the past is actually in the past? We might feel that our partner's past, romantic or otherwise, is something that threatens our current relationship and so we keep dwelling on it, often to our detriment. Join Callie and David as they dive into this topic exploring:The difference between forgiveness and trustHow to know if your partner's past is their presentCommon insecurities we...
2022-03-0447 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasIs Modest Hottest? Modesty Culture with Dr. Camden MorganteModest is hottest, right? For many, modesty has taught us that our worth is on display and that our value is determined by the length, width, and looseness of our clothing. In this episode, we're joined by Dr. Camden Morgante, exploring the harmful basis and impacts of this belief and how true modesty is much more than how much skin you show. Join us as we discuss:the difference between therapy and coachingwhat purity culture recovery looks like5 other toxic cultures related to purity culture...
2022-02-1846 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas4 Ways To Make New FriendsStudies show that new friendships don't just happen. Believing that friendships happen by luck or circumstance versus believing making friends takes intentionality, evidently impacts your chances of making friends. In this episode, Callie and David explore 4 proven ways to make new friends, while reflecting on examples in their own lives.If you'd like to dive more into learning about friendship, here are some great friendship experts you can follow:Dr. Marisa Franco, IG: @drmarisagfrancoDr. M...
2022-02-1146 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasSexual Objectification, Wounds & Healing with Andrew BaumanIn this episode, we're joined by Andrew Bauman, a licensed mental health counselor, author, and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) in North Carolina. Drawing on themes from his recent book "The Sexually Healthy Man", join us as we discuss:What it means to be sexually healthyUnderstanding sexual objectification and the pornographic style of relating (PSR)Looking beyond sexual challenges to the wounds and shame in our storiesHow to grieve and...
2022-02-0445 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasSexpectations with Juliette SweeneyIn today's episode, we're joined by Juliette Sweeney, an author, marriage & sex blogger, and trainee therapist, as we explore the importance of figuring out what unrealized, unexpressed, and unrealistic expectations each of us may have about sex, especially as they relate to our individual experience. Like in previous episodes, we'll uncover some deep-rooted sex myths as well as explore a few tools and mindset shifts to help us have healthier sexual conversations with ourselves and those ...
2022-01-2859 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasFamily Friendships As An AdultHow do you develop a friendship with your parents as an adult when the primary relationship dynamic in your life has been that of parent-to-child? What about a sibling or cousin that you just don't seem to share any common interests with? Join us in this episode as we zoom in on exploring the fundamentals of building friendships with the unique individuals that we never got to choose yet mean so much to us -- family.--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podc...
2022-01-2149 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasAre We Really Friends?! Friends, Acquaintances & Other Relationship TypesIs defining-the-relationship (DTR) only important in a romantic context? Or can it be advantageous for our friendships too? What if your friend is more accurately defined as an acquaintance or something entirely different? In today's episode, Callie and David explore this subject exploring the reasons why categorizing our relationships can prove critical for your wellbeing and others, as well as how to understand which category the people in your life fall into.--------------------------...
2022-01-1451 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasMy OCD Story (& The Impact Of Mental Health On Relationships) with Chris TrondsenIn this first episode of the new year, we're joined by Chris Trondsen as he so vulnerably opens up to share his story of living with severe OCD for over a decade, recovering from it, and now helping others navigate their mental health as a therapist and advocate for OCD awareness and education. We learn how the quality of our mental health has a direct impact on the quality of our relationships and why conversations like these need to be had for everyone's benefit. If you might have a mental ...
2022-01-071h 03Down To Earth with the BurucharasThe Great Sex Rescue (The Sex Episode We All Need To Hear) with Sheila Wray GregoireIn this episode, we bring on marriage blogger and award-winning author, Sheila Wray Gregoire to draw back the curtain, revealing the problematic and toxic teachings about sex taught to us growing up and throughout life, especially in church. Based on her book, The Great Sex Rescue, she shares how a groundbreaking in-depth survey of 22,000 Christian women reveals that generations of women have grown up with books and messages about sex that make them feel dirty, used, or invisible,...
2021-12-3150 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasHow To Handle Difficult Interactions During The HolidaysFor some of us, the holidays are an opportunity for quality time with close family and friends yet for many, the holidays and interactions thereof trigger mixed and often negative emotions; anxiety, anger, fear, sadness, grief, or loss. In this episode, Callie and David take time to acknowledge the difficulties of the holiday season and share 3 ways to help navigate difficult yet often necessary interactions. ALSO, listen till the end to receive a special CHristmas gift from both o...
2021-12-2434 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasIntimacy Beyond Sex with Mary Jo RapiniExpressing love through sexual intimacy is a special way to be vulnerable and affectionate in a romantic relationship; however, it's not always the most intimate way to express love. If a relationship feels disconnected despite a healthy sex life, there are actually several other ways to experience intimacy. In today's episode, Mary Jo Rapini presents these other forms of intimacy, sharing from her wealth of experience as a psychotherapist, specializing in sex therapy and intimacy. Join us as...
2021-12-1752 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasIntercultural Friendships with Michelle Ami ReyesWe live in a globalized and connected world yet many of us struggle to reach outside of our own cultural bubbles and form real relationships that move beyond stereotypes and lead to understanding, healing, and solidarity across cultural lines. Even in shared multi-ethnic spaces like churches, schools, and workplaces where we may feel diverse, we must remember that multiethnicity does not equate to multiculturalism. In this episode, Michelle Ami Reyes takes us on a journey on how to look close...
2021-12-1058 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasFriendship: The First Principles with Kelly NeedhamIn today's episode, we're joined by the wise Kelly Needham as she reminds us that we're called to more than halfhearted friendships and lukewarm connections. Sharing principles and personal stories detailed in her book, Friend-ish, we take an honest and closer look at what the tenor of Scripture says about the gift of friendship and what this practically means for us. Join us as we explore:Healthy vs unhealthy attachment in friendshipsThe first step to making friends in a new place/stag...
2021-12-0357 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasYour Relationship With Your Story with Kevin Wilson (@crossculturechristian)The psychologist, Dan Allender once wrote "if we don’t tell our stories, our stories will tell us. Our stories impact us either unconsciously or consciously. It’s up to us to decide whether we’ll be passive recipients or active agents in the shaping of our lives.” In this episode, we have none other than the king of chai & storytelling, @crossculturechristian, Kevin Wilson, to help us learn how we can explore, own, and honor our individual stories. As he shares reflections on his st...
2021-11-2657 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasA Sex Episode: Callie's StoryIn this episode, David now interviews Callie about her journey with sex. She reflects on her range of sources for sex education — from Planned Parenthood to married friends — and the value she's gained from each. Callie also shares how she navigated her insecurities regarding David's sexual history, as well as dealing with the guilt and shame of crossing boundaries in their relationship (and how to see it in its proper context). Not only is there much more, there's also plenty of jokes. You k...
2021-11-191h 00Down To Earth with the BurucharasA Sex Episode: David's StoryIn this episode, Callie interviews David about his journey with sex. Beginning from childhood, he shares up through their current relationship as a married couple. Reflecting on experiences, emotions, and beliefs, David's story shows how we can't ignore our sexual past, present, and future. Vulnerability, honesty, and especially compassion are all necessary for healing and growth — especially in the realm of sex. --------------------------------We're eager to hear your though...
2021-11-1247 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasYour Relationship With Food with Dr. Margaret NagibFood. It's something we all have in common, the world over must eat to live. Yet our food choices, habits, and preferences often tell a deeper and more complex story. In this episode, Dr. Margaret Nagib, a clinical psychologist specializing in treating eating disorders, takes us on a journey to understand how to assess our relationship with food and why it's crucial to do so for our well-being and the well-being of loved ones around us. Essentially, if you eat food, then this episode is...
2021-11-0540 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas6 Myths About Adult FriendshipsQuality friendships are a necessity for our well being yet it is no secret that friendships can be one of the most difficult areas to navigate as adults. This episode marks the beginning of a journey to discover how we can build and maintain thriving adult friendships. Before learning what comprises healthy adult friendships, we thought it wise to first address common misconceptions we have about them. Join us as we unpack 6 myths about adult friendships and how confronting these myths h...
2021-10-2949 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasIt's Not Your Turn (Your Relationship With Waiting) with Dr. Heather Thompson DayWhat do you do when it seems like everybody else is getting their breakthrough but you’re not? What is one important thing you're currently waiting on for life to get better? Join our conversation with Dr. Heather Thompson Day, author of "It's Not Your Turn", as she shares what we can do to shape ourselves while waiting, so we are ready when it's our turn. So much wisdom for every single situation of life in this episode! If you enjoy it, please share the love with a friend and check out Dr. ...
2021-10-2249 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasSeason 2 Premiere: David & Callie Talk Challenges, Growth And Supporting Each Other In 2021Welcome to season 2 of the podcast! We missed you!In this episode, we introduce the exciting themes to look forward to this season and interview each other about our struggles, growth and supporting each other as a couple over the past year. We hope you'll be inspired to have similar conversations in your own relationships, romantic or not, as well as resonate with some of our reflections!--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topi...
2021-10-1542 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasThe ProposalOn this final episode of this (50-episode) season, we share our proposal story. Every proposal story is unique and beautiful and we're honored to share some of the hurdles crossed and milestones attained that led us to engagement, including:Why we "delayed" our engagement plans because of familyA secret to the perfect proposalWhy David's proposal plans were shut downHow Callie almost busted the proposal set-up and who saved the day--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoug...
2021-06-1844 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasMy Top 10 Lessons From Our Podcast Guests (Year 1)We can't believe it's almost been a year since we launched the podcast! We've been privileged to have a total of 15 guests interview with us and I (David) wanted to share with you the top 10 lessons that I've learned from them in this first solo episode!If you're new to the podcast, this is a great episode to help guide you on what episodes you might be interested in. And if you've been part of this community for a while, we're super curious to know what top lessons you've learned from our gu...
2021-06-1130 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasHealing From HeartbreakIn this episode, we're finally addressing heartbreak, a topic frequently requested over private emails and messages. Whether from a mutual break-up, betrayal, rejection, or something else, heartbreak in romantic relationships happens and it hurts a lot. Why does it hurt so bad and how can we move on and heal? Join us as we share a few of our personal heartbreak experiences as well as tried-and-true advice to help you or a friend on the path towards healing.--------------------------------We'r...
2021-06-0450 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasAre You In A Relationship With A Narcissist? with Special Guest Shirin Peykar, LMFTIn this episode, we're honored to have Shirin Peykar, LMFT sit down with us to talk about identifying and dealing with a narcissist, particularly in the context of romantic relationships. Deriving from her 10 years of experience helping survivors of narcissistic abuse, as well as her own past experience, having been married to a narcissist, we learned so much from this conversation and trust you will too. Join us as we discuss:What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and are all narcis...
2021-05-2853 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas3 Subtle Relationship Killers: Rejecting Appeals For Connection & How To Respond LovinglyDecades of studies, by the Gottman Institute, reveal that the #1 killer of relationships is rejecting a loved one's appeals for connection. In today's episode, we dive deep into how we at times, knowingly or unknowingly, find ourselves doing so by:1) discrediting their needs,2) discrediting their autonomy, and 3) discrediting their characterMore importantly, how can we respond more lovingly to appeals for connection, even if we feel threatened or attacked by them? Because oftentimes, we...
2021-05-2135 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasMental Health, Sex + Church, and Emotional Maturity with Edsel CadetIn this episode, we're honored to sit with pastor, therapist-in-training, and author, Edsel Cadet, as he opens up and shares about:his journey integrating mental health into his spirituality and how you can toowhy it's not enough for you or your partner to "love the Lord"why he co-authored the book, "Still Thirsty" on healing & sexual fulfillment, and how we can change conversations on sex in churchhis love story and unique take on how to know if the person you're dating is "t...
2021-05-141h 04Down To Earth with the BurucharasThe Marriage Conversation & Pre-Engagement CounselingYou've probably seen at least one of those cringeworthy "Top Marriage Proposal Rejections" videos and like us, you may, or may not, be wondering "How did they not see this coming?!". In today's episode, we talk about why we believe pre-engagement counseling is much more important than pre-marital counseling (though both are important!) coupled with the need for more open, honest, and regular conversations about marriage long before the proposal, especially if marriage is the end goal. Join us...
2021-05-0753 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasGuilt: Change Your Plans, The Guilt Trip Just Got CanceledIn this episode, we talk about a complicated emotion common to all of us: guilt. As moral beings, guilt signals to us of a wrong course taken so we can redirect our steps in the right path. However, more often than not guilt is used as a form of manipulation (the guilt trip), and is too frequently a destructive primary driver of our behavior. We realized that how you handle guilt can either lead you to life and happiness or lead you away from it. Join as we address:What is the guilt trip and ...
2021-04-301h 02Down To Earth with the BurucharasGhostbusters: How To Handle Being Ghosted (And How To Stop Ghosting People)Studies show that social rejection activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain. This might help explain the hurtful experience of being ghosted: when someone terminates a relationship by ending communication abruptly and without explanation. A recurring phenomenon in the internet age, join us as we dig in to understand:What is ghosting and why it differs from silent treatment/stonewalling?Why it hurts so much?What are common reasons people ghost and how can we avoid g...
2021-04-2243 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasWhy We Never Said "I Love You" (Until We Were Engaged)In this episode, we take a walk down memory lane to reflect on why we made a decision not to say "I Love You" to each other until we were engaged, after 3 years of dating. We want to emphasize that this wasn't a rule but a choice we made. Join us as we recall the conversation we had that led to the decision, our reasoning behind it, how it impacted our relationship, and the "accidental" time David splurted the 3 magical words. --------------------------------We're eager to hear your thou...
2021-04-1536 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasTrust: Too Little Or Too Much?In today's episode, we delve into why all lasting and meaningful relationships in life are founded on trust, however, in pursuit of this ideal, we found ourselves trusting too little and/or trusting too much. Join us as we share our personal "trust issues" as well as:Reasons why we trust too little or too muchWhy love doesn't always equate to trust Why it's easier to break trust than to build it4 proven ways to test if someone trustworthy and to build trust in your relationships---------...
2021-04-0954 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasBuilding A Relationship With God Individually & TogetherIn today's episode, we celebrate the holiday by focusing on the relationship that transcends all other relationships that we usually talk about on this podcast. How do we practically frame and approach our relationship with God in the context of our core human relationships, especially our romantic ones? We explore this as well as share 7 guiding principles to help you and a loved one(s) spend meaningful, enjoyable, and consistent time with God together.--------------------------------We're e...
2021-04-0248 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasThe Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)In this episode, we talk about a little-understood trait that is found in 15-20% of people, including Callie. Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) are essentially people that experience the world in high definition. However, HSPs have often been misinterpreted and mistaken for having certain disorders or illnesses. Join us as we recount our shocking discovery that Callie was an HSP as well as:Why her HSP trait explains why Callie requires more sleep, finds good or bad change upsetting, and experien...
2021-03-261h 01Down To Earth with the BurucharasMoney & Relationships with Jacent Wamala, LMFTIn this episode, we're joined by Jacent Wamala, a licensed marriage, and family therapist (LMFT) and money mindset coach, as she shares the critical intersection between money and relationships. Having paid off over $90,000 of debt in under two years while dating and now married, she provides some valuable gems on how to get our money mindset right first as individuals before doing so in our relationships. Join us as we also discuss the following:What to do when therapy doesn't workWhy is mon...
2021-03-1947 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas3 Relationship Lessons From Our Puppy, EverestIn this episode, we decided to celebrate, our dog, Everest's one-year anniversary as a new family member by sharing 3 crucial life lessons having her has taught us. We hope that you'll be able to apply these lessons to yourself as well as your relationships. Even if you're not an animal person (fun fact: Callie actually isn't one!), we believe you'll find this episode valuable. Enjoy!--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, top...
2021-03-1238 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasThe Dating Essentials: Boundaries with Sebastien Braxton (Part 5/5)This is the final episode in our 5 part series on Dating Essentials — 5 foundational principles for meaningful and fulfilling dating relationships.In our final episode of the series, we’re honored to bring back Sebastien Braxton to discuss the role and significance of boundaries, particularly physical boundaries, during dating. We also address frequently asked questions surrounding this topic, including:If you love your partner and are committed to them, what's the big deal regarding limiting...
2021-03-051h 10Down To Earth with the BurucharasThe Dating Essentials: Dating Takes Time (Part 4/5)This is the 4th episode in our 5 part series on Dating Essentials — 5 foundational principles for meaningful and fulfilling dating relationships.In this penultimate episode, we examine why successful dating typically takes time. But that begs the question, how much time? Is there a recommended minimum or suggested range? A number of months or a couple of years? Well, it depends. Join us as we dive into the 5 C's (Character, Competency, Chemistry, Culture, and Compatibility) that act as time m...
2021-02-2554 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasThe Dating Essentials: Dating With Accountability (Part 3/5)This is the 3rd part in our series on Dating Essentials — 5 foundational principles for meaningful and fulfilling dating relationships.In this episode, we delve into why accountability is such a crucial element in relationships, especially in dating. We always want to ensure that our most impactful relationships reflect the values that are most important to us. Yet often, emotional attachment, though not wrong in and of itself, can hinder our ability to discern and decipher clearly. Tha...
2021-02-1941 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasThe Dating Essentials: Dating From Completeness (Part 2/5)This is the 2nd part in our series on Dating Essentials — 5 foundational principles for meaningful and fulfilling dating relationships. In this episode, we challenge the myth that romantic relationships are necessary to be complete, whole, and happy in life. Many of us may agree that we are indeed complete in spite of a romantic relationship but do we actually believe it? Do we actually live it? Join us as we discuss this and explore how walking in the areas of spiritual, emotional, and ...
2021-02-1236 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasThe Dating Essentials: Dating with Purpose (Part 1/5)This is the beginning of our series on Dating Essentials — 5 foundational principles for meaningful and fulfilling dating relationships.In this episode, we begin by laying the foundation with purpose. Why are you dating? Or Why are you trying to date? Oftentimes, we can give a lofty, well-articulated answer. But is this our actual purpose? What are the attributes of a good purpose? Join us as we also discuss:How we define dating in a practical wayCommon unfulfilling purposes that guide ...
2021-02-0543 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasDate Night: Luxury Or Necessity?For some of us, date night - a planned occasion when you and your significant other spend 1-on-1 time cultivating emotional closeness through an activity - feels like a no-sweat reflex action. For others, it’s a nice-to-have but not a must-have. And for many, they often sense the need but find themselves battling with several barriers such as:I can’t find the timeI’m just too exhaustedI can’t think of any cheap or creative ideas! All the planning is too muchWhat about the kids? Th...
2021-01-2844 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasNavigating Change In Relationships & Life with Jackson Saya"Life is at best a chain of transitions, that is we are either going to, going through, or coming out of a transition."In this episode, we sat down with the wise Jackson Saya, a former zoologist, and current life transition coach, who shares how parasites-the masters of transitions in nature -provide us with the keys to navigate change in our relationships. With these principles, we learn how our relationships can thrive in the midst of change, instead of just surviving. Join us as we d...
2021-01-221h 18Down To Earth with the BurucharasThe Case For Online DatingIn this episode, we discuss a question often floated by listeners and that is, is online dating okay? Doesn’t it seem unnatural and inauthentic? Isn't it forced and where does God’s will in waiting for a partner come into play? Join us as we address some of these common hesitations as well as:Potential benefits of online datingPotential risks of online dating Principles for healthy online datingAs always, we’d love to hear your comments, thoughts, questions, and topic suggestions via Ins...
2021-01-1538 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasAssumptions & The Importance Of Clear CommunicationIn this episode, we delve into the realm of assumptions within relationships — accepting things regarding a person as true without proof. Living in the unverified reality of assumptions is often a source of grief and heartache; but we don't have to live there. Some examples of possible assumptions may be:She didn’t call me last night, so she's clearly not interestedHe may seem rude and dismissive often times but I know he loves meThey didn’t compliment my new outfit so they obvious...
2021-01-0853 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasLong Distance Relationships with Jonathan & Amanda Walter“They say distance means so little when someone means so much. But still, somehow distance has this ability to break bonds, to break trust, to push us further away from each other not just physically but emotionally”On our first podcast of the year, we’re honored to share a recent conversation with one of our favorite couples, Jonathan and Amanda Walter. Long distance - across multiple timezones - has been a defining aspect of both our relationships and is only becoming more common in our glo...
2021-01-011h 12Down To Earth with the Burucharas3 Relationship Lessons From The Christmas StoryMerry Christmas and Happy Holidays!As many around the world celebrate the hope and joy that Christ's birth brings, we decided to focus on a key relationship that surrounded His birth: Joseph and Mary, His earthly parents. Join us as we reflect on the oft-overlooked details of the early stages of this relationship; then, as we explore 3 resulting lessons we can bring into our own relationships from the biblical narrative.--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the ...
2020-12-2528 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasFriendships With the Opposite GenderStudies and debates have gone on for decades regarding this question: can members of the opposite gender be friends? Join us as we tackle this topic exploring the following question:- Why does it even matter?- Are there any differences between same-gender and opposite-gender friendships? Should there be?- What are some guiding principles? - What if your partner is not okay with your friend of the other gender?--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcas...
2020-12-1847 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasBaggage, Dysfunction & Conflict In Relationships with Steven & Tamara ConwayWe’re so excited to introduce our first guest duo, Steven and Tamara Conway, a couple we admire with a wealth of experience and wisdom, as they share how baggage & dysfunction from our past reveals itself in our present relationships and how we can confront it individually along with our loved ones. We hit on many relevant topics including:- How marriage reveals hidden dysfunction- The importance of managing expectations- Conflict resolution and teachable moments- How our core fears drive...
2020-12-111h 12Down To Earth with the Burucharas3 Reflections On Our First Year Of MarriageRichard Carlson, the renowned psychologist, once said “Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools for success.” Sometimes the pace of life, even during a pandemic, outpaces our ability to process it all; we can't believe it's already been a year of being married! So in today's episode, we take a step back to reflect on some lessons that our first year of marriage has taught us about ourselves, our spouse, and relationships. And to celebrate this marker, we'd like to share...
2020-12-0433 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasNavigating Mental Illness In RelationshipsIn today's episode, we share one of the most challenging parts of our relationship: dealing with anxiety. Callie is diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) — and it has impacted our relationship in some key ways. We explore how it's been for both of us, especially early on in our relationship and how we’ve worked through this reality over time. We also share important considerations and recommendations for a meaningful relationship where at least one person is dealing with a mental illn...
2020-11-2052 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasRelationship Guilt, Standards, And The Pitfalls Of Potential with Charlene CoutetOn this special 20th episode, we’re excited to welcome Charlene Coutet as she shares about her recently published book on relationships, My Child Wake Up. The book follows the journey of her romantic relationship mistakes and how a vivid dream led her to discover a powerful, logical, and practical remedy to her heartache and a way forward to better relationships. Some key themes we discuss are:The relationship between the heart and the biblical sanctuaryWhy and when relationship standards don...
2020-11-131h 01Down To Earth with the Burucharas3 Qualities Of Safe PeopleIn today's episode, we share 3 qualities of safe people — the kind of people that help you, care for you, and are trustworthy. We also discuss how to interact with unsafe people — should we just avoid them at all costs? Aren't we all to some extent unsafe?--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts on the podcast! Got any questions, topic suggestions, or just want to get in touch? We'd love to hear from you via this quick feedback form: https://tally.so/r/w4Jkgr
2020-11-0637 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasIntercultural Relationships: Our StoryIn this episode, we dive into a topic we're asked about as soon as people meet us: intercultural relationships. We look differently, talk differently, and come from different continents. How has that affected our relationship? Specifically, we focus on the following questions:- When did it hit us that we were in an intercultural relationship?- What was it like as a recipient of societal pressures and awkward questions?- What are the benefits and challenges of an intercultural relationship?- H...
2020-10-3055 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasChemistry & Compatibility with Anil KandaIn today's episode, we're excited to welcome Anil Kanda. Anil is one of our favorite speakers and we love his energy and deep, provocative insights into life’s toughest problems. Today he walks us through a fascinating and practical discussion on chemistry and compatibility. With insight, personal stories, and honesty, we touch on:- What's the difference between chemistry and compatibility? - Which is more important and why?- Are examples of these in the Bible?- Why eHarmony couples have...
2020-10-2359 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas3 Principles That Cultivate Honesty In RelationshipsIn today's episode, we delve into the importance of honesty in a relationship. Sometimes we fall into two extremes: we're either so honest that we are better labeled as rude, or we keep more than we should to ourselves in the name of "kindness". What's the balance here? What kinds of things should we share with our significant other — and how? Are there ever times that we should keep secrets? Is it ever okay to lie to a loved one?As always, we share lessons we've learned in thi...
2020-10-1650 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasBecoming Official & The Honeymoon StageIn today's episode, we share how we moved from an intentional friendship to officially dating/courting. We also explore that phase of a relationship that often defines this stage: the honeymoon phase. We got into some unplanned discussions about chemistry during the last portion of the episode, and we'd love to know your thoughts! Amidst Callie's weekly soapbox and a story about Indian curry stains we discuss: - Is the honeymoon phase good or bad?- What is the honeymoon phase like?- If I...
2020-10-0944 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasMen, Porn & Commitment with Israel RamosIn today's episode, we're grateful to have Israel Ramos, a long-time friend and mentor. We sought out him and his wife Judy to be part of our pre-marital counseling and are still benefiting from those meaningful discussions! In this interview, we discuss two radical perspectives on commitment and further explore different reasons people, particularly men, struggle with commitment in their relationships as well as:- the impacts of porn on commitment in relationships- advice to men hesitat...
2020-10-0256 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas2 Kinds of FOMO in Relationships & How To Deal With ThemFOMO is one of those millennial-esque terms; but we don't believe its experience is reserved for Millennials or even this decade. The fear of missing out can negatively impact our decisions and frames of mind, especially in the realm of relationships. In this episode, we dive into two kinds of FOMO, how it can impact even our closest relationships, and how to have a more balanced view of what we have and what we're striving for.--------------------------------We're eager to hear your thoughts...
2020-09-2536 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasBefore Dating: The Intentional FriendshipIn today's episode, we share about the stage of our relationship between confessing our feelings for each other and becoming official/starting to date. Instead of taking our mutual feelings as a guarantee we should be in a romantic relationship, we decided to begin an intentional friendship. Through our experience and insights we gleaned from others, we delve into:- How we confessed our feelings for each other- The purpose of an intentional friendship- The ideal length of an intentional frien...
2020-09-1742 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasShould I Go To Counseling? with Ruth MatoyaIn this episode, we welcome (Auntie) Ruth Matoya to share her wealth of meaningful experience helping others as a licensed counseling psychologist. Sometimes we think counseling is the place we go when we're on the way out — we only go to counseling as a last resort if nothing else works. Instead, Auntie Ruth demystifies both the purpose and the long-term effects of counseling. Join us as we explore common questions such as:- What is the difference between counseling and therapy? Does it matt...
2020-09-1155 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas3 Signs You Need Healthier BoundariesWhy do we sometimes tell people "yes" when we really want to say "no"? Why do we sometimes get mad at people for asking for our time? And who are these mythical people that seem to be so in control of their time, have no problem with telling people no, and yet are still kind about it? The answers to all of these questions center around boundaries. There are so many relational heartaches and obstacles when we don't have strong boundaries; in fact, we can even hurt ourselves without anyone...
2020-09-0440 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasGetting to Know Each Other & TriflingOn this episode, we delve into that awkward space between friendship and something more: where you're starting to develop feelings, but aren't sure if the other person feels the same, or what you should do at that point, and the anxiety can be high! We share that phase of our relationship, how it came about, and how it felt for us at the time. We then focus on one of the biggest causes of heartache and misunderstanding in this phase: trifling. What is trifling and how do you avoid it? Wh...
2020-08-2644 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasReadiness, Being Set Up, & Mentorship with Justin KimIn today’s episode, we are excited to welcome Justin Kim, a colleague, friend, mentor, and Old Testament timeline aficionado (Callie insisted on putting that in). Justin shares how leaving a position at Harvard and drastically switching career trajectories impacted his relationship search during his 20s. Through both personal experience and learned principles, he also shares about:Being set up with someone and how we can be more open to itThe importance of self-awareness in assessing your rea...
2020-08-2153 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas3 Fears That Sabotage Our RelationshipsWe all want to have healthy, fulfilling, and meaningful relationships — so why do sabotage them? It definitely takes two people to create a wonderful relationship, but sometimes its failure has little to do with the other person and a lot to do with us. Why is that? What are we so afraid of? And more importantly, how can we stop allowing these fears to sabotage our relationships?In this episode, we take a closer look at common fears we allow to hurt our relationships as well as the underlying...
2020-08-1447 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasHow We Met & SoulmatesOne of the most common questions couples receive is…“So, how did you two meet?” We love answering this question, mostly because it’s not what people expect — it also depends on who they ask: David gives a great summary, and Callie excels in the details. On this episode, join us as we share more about our story, and as we discuss key questions such as:Were we soulmates? What defines a soulmate?Is it okay to meet people online?Did we experience love at first sight? Is that a real thi...
2020-08-0733 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasSingleness: Available But Content with Sikhu DacoIn today's episode, we are excited to welcome Sikhu Daco, a good friend and theology buff. She shares about her years of marvelous contentedness as a single woman, while still being open and searching for a relationship; and accomplishing both while living out her purpose.Living in a romantic-relationship-centric society, we are often bombarded with the idea that our value and identity are determined by a spouse (or lack thereof). Sikhu wisely breaks down the heart of the issue and speaks to ...
2020-07-311h 05Down To Earth with the Burucharas4 Ways To Respect A Loved OneIf you've been on social media during the last few weeks (July 2020) you've likely heard about the six-year-old boy, Bridger Walker of Wyoming, who became an internet hero for jumping in front of a dog that was running to attack his little sister. He suffered 90 stitches to his face as a result of dog bites but his heroic sacrifice will awe the world for years to come. This had us thinking; while many of us can easily say that we'd "take a bullet" for a partner, friend, or family member,...
2020-07-2443 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasCallie and David BEFORE Callie-and-DavidWhile we're certain that you'll find out much more about us as we explore different phases of our relationship in future episodes, we thought it fitting in today's episode to pull back the curtain on our individual lives before we met in 2014. In this more chill conversation, through laughs and reflections, we discover some similarities and differences between our upbringing and then transition into key mindsets and experiences that shaped how we approached romantic relationships up unti...
2020-07-1639 minDown To Earth with the BurucharasThe Relationship Continuum with Sebastien BraxtonWhat's the difference between being interested in someone, liking them, and loving them? What exactly do these terms mean experientially? Do defining these terms matter? On this episode, Sebastien Braxton, a special friend, mentor, and our very first podcast guest, shares with us the simple yet insightful framework called The Relationship Continuum to help us define the different feelings and thoughts we experience during a relationship. You'll find that this framework brings clarity not...
2020-07-0946 minDown To Earth with the Burucharas3 Ways to Navigate Difficult ConversationsOn the first episode of Down To Earth with the Burucharas, we'll briefly share what this podcast is about and why we decided to launch this project, before diving right into today's topic that we believe is relevant to everyone listening! With all that's going on in the world this year, it's likely that you've had, are having, and will continue to have tough, uncomfortable, and possibly emotionally-charged conversations with loved ones and even strangers. These difficult conversations ar...
2020-07-0234 min
BibleAsk LIVEEpisode 3 - Bible Q&A with Callie BurucharaEpisode 3 of our series is the first we share on Podcast. It includes a Bible Question and Answer session with Callie Buruchara, a blogger currently in Kenya. You can check out her blog at worriedsapling.com, where she addresses anxiety.
Callie answer 3 questions that people wrote in at BibleAsk.org:
"Are the Oracles of God and the 10 Commandments the same thing?"
"How do I reach my unconverted family and friends that have heard about the gospel, but don't believe it?"
"If we are to observe the Feasts of the Lord, how...
2020-04-2614 min