Shows
The Bible in Fewer Words#224: Jonah 1-4 | The sign of JonahThe story of Jonah is familiar to most of us. But the most interesting parts were left out of the children's Bible stories that were read to us when we were young.
So join Carole and I as we tell the story once again. We promise not to leave out any of the interesting parts.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here: https://skepticsannotatedbible.com/fewer-words/224.html
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at https://patreon.com/BFW
2024-03-3013 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#96: Judges 17-18 | The Massacre of the Peaceful, Unsuspecting PeopleIn this episode, the tribe of Dan is looking for a place to live. They discover a land where people are living peaceful, carefree, and contented lives. So they send 600 soldiers to kill all the people, burn the city, and take their land.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-06-1908 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#95: Judges 16 | Samson, Delilah, and a suicide terrorist attackThis episode includes the famous story about Samson and Delilah.
It begins with Samson having sex with a harlot and ends with him killing 3000 people in a suicide terrorist attack.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-06-1710 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#94: Judges 15 | 300 foxes, 1000 men, and the jawbone of an assThis is an action-packed episode. Here are the highlights:
It begins with Samson bringing a goat to pay for sex with his Philistine wife, only to be told by her father that he had given her to his best man because he thought Samson hated her. Then Samson catches 300 foxes, ties their tails together, lights them on fire, and lets them loose on the Philistines' crops.
The Philistines respond by burning Samson's ex-wife and her father.
Samson smites the Philistines hip and thigh with a great slaughter.
300 Philistines tie Samson up.
The spirit of the Lord comes on...2023-06-1509 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#93: Judges 13-14 | Samson's riddleThis episode introduces us to Samson. He had a miraculous birth, was a Nazarite from the womb, married a Philistine woman, and killed things when the spirit of the Lord came upon him. (First a lion with his bare hands, and then thirty men for their clothes.)
Oh, and he made up a riddle that made no sense. (That's why he had to kill the thirty men for their clothes.)
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-06-1312 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#92: Judges 12 | ShibbolethA civil war breaks out in this episode because one tribe of Israelites (Ephraim) wasn't invited to participate in the slaughter of the Ammonites in the previous episode. In the end, 42,000 Ephraimites were killed for mispronouncing the word "Shibboleth".
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-06-1109 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#91: Judges 11 | Jephthah's daughterIn this episode, the spirit of the Lord comes upon Jephthah and he promises to sacrifice to God as a burnt offering whatever comes out to greet him when he returns from slaughtering the Ammonites. God delivered the Ammonites into his hand, and he smote twenty of their cities in a very great slaughter.
When he returned home after the slaughter, his daughter came out to greet him. And he did to her what he promised God he would do. (He sacrificed her as a burnt offering.)
The text and notes for this episode can...2023-06-0911 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#90: Judges 9-10 | Seventy brothers on a single stoneIn this episode, Gideon's son, Abimelech, kills seventy of this brothers on a single stone. But his youngest brother, Jotham, got away and makes a speech about talking trees. Then Abimelech burns 1000 people to death (Because of God's evil spirit), and is killed by a woman who drops a millstone in his head.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-06-0713 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#89: Judges 8 | The end of GideonIn this episode, Gideon tortures 77 men thorns and briars, destroys a tower, kills all the men in a city, orders his son to kill two kings, and then makes a 20 kg gold ephod (from the earrings of dead Midianites) that everyone in Israel went whoring after. Then he dies, leaving 70 sons to fight about who will replace him as judge of Israel. No wonder the Gideon's named their Bible after him.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-06-0512 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#88: Judges 7 | As a dog lappeth: God selects Gideon's armyThis episode tells the story that inspired the Gideon's to create their famous Bible.
It's my favorite Bible story - and I don't want to spoil it for you here. So you'll just have to listen to the podcast!
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-06-0311 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#87: Judges 6 | Gideon tests God three timesThis episode introduces Gideon, you know - the guy the Bible is named after.
It begins, as all stories do in the Book of Judges: The Israelites do evil in the sight of the Lord, the Lord sells them to their enemies, the Israelites cry out to God, and God sends a deliverer - in this case Gideon.
But Gideon wasn't sure he could trust God, so he had a few tests for him.
And God passed them all, no sweat.
The text and notes for this episode can be found...2023-06-0112 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#86: Judges 4-5 | Blessed is Jael among womenThe main characters in this episode are both women.
Deborah is a prophetess, judge, and military leader - whose captain (Barak) refuses to go to war without her.
And Jael shelters the enemy's captain (Sisera) - and then drives a tent stake through his head.
For this act she is blessed among women.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-3011 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#85: Judges 3 | Ehud delivers a message from GodThis episode features a left-handed judge named Ehud who delivers a message from God by embedding an 18-inch sword into a fat king's belly.
And another judge, Shamgar, who kills 600 Philistines with an ox goad.
Where else but the Bible will you find stories like that?
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-2811 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#84: Judges 1-2 | Adonibezek's thumbs and big toesJudges is a violent book even by biblical standards. It begins by cutting off the thumbs and big toes of a captured king - and just gets worse from there.
Here is the cycle that is repeated throughout the book:
The people do evil in God's sight
God sells them to their enemies
The people cry out to God
God sends them a deliverer (a judge)
The deliverer slaughters those who bought the Israelites from God
The people do evil in God's sight again, etc.
This episode tells the story of the first judge of I...2023-05-2612 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#83: Joshua 11-24 | The marriage of Caleb's daughterThis episode covers the last 14 chapters of the book of Joshua. Here a some of the highlights:
20 kingdoms are massacred,
33 kings are killed,
Caleb gives his daughter to whoever captures a city (his nephew Othniel is the lucky winner),
A war is nearly fought over an altar named "Ed",
And Joshua dies at the age of 110
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-2414 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#82: Joshua 10 | Joshua stops the sunIn this episode, God stops the sun from moving so that Joshua could get his killing done in the daylight. This is the passage that got Galileo in so much trouble with the Catholic Church. So it is of central importance in the history of science and religion.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-2211 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#81: Joshua 8-9 | The Ai MassacreJoshua does to the city of Ai as he did to the city of Jericho - he killed everyone in the city. Then he hung its king on a tree until evening.
Then he enslaved the Gibeonites.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-2009 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#80: Joshua 7 | Achan and is family are stoned to deathGod told the Israelites not to touch the accursed thing during the Jericho massacre. But one man, Achan, couldn't resist. So when the Israelites tried to do to the town of Ai as they did to Jericho, they were not successful and 36 Israelites died. God commanded the Israelites to stone and burn to death Achan and his family. So that's what they did, and God wasn't angry anymore.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-1810 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#79: Joshua 5-6 | The hill of foreskins and the Jericho massacreGod tells Joshua to circumcise again the Israelite males at a place they called the hill of foreskins. After allowing a few days to recover from their circumcisions, Joshua and the Israelites slaughtered everyone in the city of Jericho (except Rahab): women, children, old people, and animals, with the edge of the sword.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-1610 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#78: Joshua 1-4 | he invasion beginsJoshua's spies visit the prostitute Rahab's house, she lies to protect them, and the Israelites cross the Jordan River without getting their feet wet.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-1410 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#77: Deuteronomy 31-34 | The death of MosesAs you may recall, God told Moses that he wouldn't make it to the promised land because he hit the rock (instead of talking to it) back in Episode 62. Well, Moses finally dies in chapter 34, the last chapter of Deuteronomy.
But before he dies, he writes down and reads the entire law (the Torah or Pentateuch) and reads it to all of the Israelites. Then he teaches them a song that God wrote, which features this catchy line: I will make my arrows drunk with blood and my sword shall devour flesh."
Then after Moses...2023-05-1212 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#76: Deuteronomy 28-30 | Blessings and cursesIf you're trying to decide if you should follow all of God's commandments, this episode is for you.
God gives you a simple choice: Obey him and things will go well for you; disobey him and he'll force you to eat your children - among many other things.
If you decide to obey him, he'll circumcise your heart and the hearts of your children, and put all the curses that he threatened you with on your enemies instead.
Good luck with your decision.
The text and notes for this episode can be...2023-05-1012 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#75: Deuteronomy 24-27 | When to cut off a woman's hand without pityIn this episode we learn that if a man re-marries a wife that he previously divorced, it is an abomination to God. And that a man must marry his dead brother's wife (or she will take off his shoe and spit in his face).
But the most important thing that we learn is this: We must cut off a woman's hand if she touches the genitals of a man who is fighting with her husband. And we must do it without showing her the slightest pity.
The text and notes for this episode can be...2023-05-0819 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#74: Deuteronomy 22-23 | Non-virgin brides, rape, and damaged testiclesIn this episode we are joined by Objectively Dan, a host of the Atheist Community of Austin and the creator and host of Truth Wanted and Talk Heathen.
Chapters 22 and 23 of Deuteronomy contain a strange mix of few good rules mixed with many horrendous ones. We are told to help our neighbors, while stoning to death women who are raped in the city or are found not to be virgins on their wedding night; and not to return runaway slaves, but label cross-dressers, whores and sodomites abominations.
Atheist Community of Austin
Truth Wanted...2023-05-0630 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#73: Deuteronomy 20-21 | Holy War, disobedient sons, and hated wivesIn this episode God and Moses lay down the law about holy wars, dead bodies, women captured in war, hated wives, and disobedient sons. It's important information that you won't find anywhere else.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-05-0414 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#72: Deuteronomy 13-19 | When to stone to death your whole familyThis episode contains the passage that I use whenever a Jehovah's Witness, Mormon missionary, or evangelical Christian tries to convert me - Dt 13:6-10.
It also has provides two tests for false prophets. Both tests ask whether what the prophet says comes true or not. If it comes true, then it's a false prophet who God sent to test your faith in him and you must kill him (13:1-5); if it doesn't come true, then it's a false prophet and you must kill him (18:20-22)
There are other passages that say that if there's a...2023-05-0219 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#71: Deuteronomy 6-12 | God, Genocide, and GiantsIn this episode, God provides instructions for committing genocide. If you run into any problems, don't worry. God will send hornets to help you. And if there are any giants, God will destroy them too.
And although it may seem a bit contradictory to you, God commands you to love strangers, circumcise the foreskin of your heart, and don't do what you think is right.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-3015 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#70: Deuteronomy 1-5 | Moses's speechRemember how in Numbers, God repeatedly told Moses that he wasn't going to make it to the promised land (because God was mad at him for hitting the rock instead of talking to it)?
Well, here's a spoiler for you: Moses finally dies in Deuteronomy - but not until he gives a long, boring speech, which is called the Book of Deuteronomy.
This episode covers the first part of his speech - Deuteronomy 1-5.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider...2023-04-2812 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#69: Numbers 32-36 | The End of NumbersWell, we've finally made it to the end of Numbers.
In this episode two of the tribes of Israel decide not to go to the promised land, God tells the Israelites to kill all the Canaanites, we learn some more about revengers of blood and cities of refuge, and the daughters of Zelophehad are forced to marry their cousins.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-2615 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#68: Numbers 31 | The Midianite massacreIn this episode, we are joined by Seth Andrews, the host of The Thinking Atheist podcast and YouTube channel, to discuss one of the most appalling stories in the entire Bible. In it Moses commands his men to kill all the males and non-virgin females, but to keep the virgins alive for themselves.
In his autobiography, Deconverted, Seth said that Numbers 31 was one of the parts of the Bible that led him to reject the Bible and Christianity.
The Thinking Atheist YouTube Channel
Books by Seth Andrews at Amazon
The text...2023-04-2426 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#67: Numbers 26-30 | The daughters of ZelophehadOur son, Philip Wells, joins us in this episode. He has helped us produce the podcast, as well as the SAB website and books.
In the episode itself, there are several passages about women's rights - both good and bad.
So we welcome you to listen to the podcast and meet our son, Philip!
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-2217 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#66: Numbers 25 | Whoredom with the daughters of MoabWhen the Israelites commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab -- Moses, God, and Phinehas respond by hanging up dead bodies, committing mass murder, impaling a couple while they were having sex, and sending a plague that killed 24,000 people. All in one chapter of the Good Book.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-2014 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#65: Numbers 23-24 | Balaam's speechesAfter Balaam, God, the angel, and the donkey finally got things worked out in the last episode, Balaam arrives in Moab to curse the Israelites for King Balak.
But things didn't go as planned.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-1815 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#64: Numbers 22 | Balaam's talking donkeyThis is a bizarre story - even by biblical standards.
God changes his mind three times in a single chapter, while making a donkey talk to a man about an angel that only the donkey can see.
It reminds me of the Mr. Ed show that I loved so much as a kid.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-1611 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#63: Numbers 21 | God sends snakesThis is one of the Bible's most famous stories.
The people complain about the lack of food and water, and God sends fiery serpents to bite them.
Stories like this can only be found in the Bible.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-1412 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#62: Numbers 20 | The sin of Moses- and Aaron dies nakedMiriam dies, Moses sins, and Aaron dies naked.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-1213 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#61: Numbers 17-19 | The red heiferIn this episode, Aaron's rod blossoms and bears almonds.
And the red heifer is presented - which many Christians and Jews believe is required for the rebuilding of the temple and the coming of the Messiah.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-1014 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#60: Numbers 15-16 | Korah's rebellionIn this episode we learn about Korah - the Bible's freethought martyr.
250 men are burned to death in an incense-burning contest.
God kills 14,700 in a plague.
And we are told to put blue fringes on our garments.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-0812 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#59: Numbers 13-14 | Twelve spies and a revolt against MosesThis episode is all about honesty.
Sometimes it's safer to tell Moses (and God) what they want to hear.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-0612 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#58: Numbers 12 | Miriam and Aaron criticize MosesMiriam and Aaron criticize Moses for marrying an Ethiopian woman.
And God strikes Miriam (but not Aaron) with leprosy for complaining.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-04-0412 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#57: Numbers 11 | Quails - until they come out your nose!During the Exodus, the people complained - so God burned them to death.
They complained again - this time about the lack of food and water - and God sent them food not "for a day, nor two days, nor five days, neither ten days, nor twenty days; but even a whole month, until it come out at your nostrils, and it be loathsome unto you." Fun stuff.
Then "while the flesh was still between their teeth" God "smote the people with a very great plague."
The text and notes for this episode ca...2023-04-0212 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#56: Numbers 6-10 | How to become a NazariteIf you'd like to become a Nazarite like Samson or Samuel, this episode is for you.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-3114 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#55: Numbers 1-5 | The law of jealousiesIn this episode, God tells us what a husband should do if he suspects that his wife has been unfaithful.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-2911 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#54: Leviticus 26-27 | Rewards, punishments, and the value of human lifeA list of rewards is given for obeying all of God's commandments. And a much longer list or punishments is given for disobeying them.
(For example, God will force you eat your children if you disobey him.)
In this episode, you'll also learn the dollar value of human life - at least to God.
(It depends on you age and sex, but it works out to between a few dollars or a few hundred dollars - unless you're less than a month old, in which case you're worth nothing at all.)
...2023-03-2715 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#53: Leviticus 21-25 | What to do with blasphemersIf you've followed along so far, you can probably guess what God's punishment for blasphemy might be.
But you'll get all the gory details in this episode.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-2512 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#52: Leviticus 20 | Who you must kill and who you shouldn't see nakedThere's a rather long list of people that God commands us to kill - sometimes by stoning or burning them to death.
This list includes the infamous verse of Leviticus 20:13, which is often quoted to justify the mistreatment of homosexuals.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-2311 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#51: Leviticus 19 | A few good rules - and some strange onesThis episode has one of the best verses in the Bible - Love your neighbor as yourself. Leviticus 19:18
But it also has some strange ones:
Don't sow with mixed seeds, and don't mix linen and wool in the same garment.
Consider all fruit from fruit trees less than three years old to be uncircumcised.
Don't round the corners of your heads or mar the corners of your beards.
And it also has two of my favorite commandments: Stand in the presence of old people, and honor the face of an old man.
The...2023-03-2113 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#50: Leviticus 18 | God's sex lawsThere's a whole chapter in the Bible (Leviticus 18) that tells you who shouldn't have sex with - or as the King James Version puts it - whose nakedness you shouldn't uncover. It also has one of the most homophobic verses in the Bible - Leviticus 18:22.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-1912 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#49: Leviticus 16-17 | The scapegoat, Yom Kippur, and sacrificing to devilsWe've all heard about scapegoats and Yom Kippur. In this episode we learn where they came from.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-1714 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#48: Leviticus 15 | Penile discharge, semen, and menstruationAs God himself explains in Lev 15:32-33, "This is the law of a man that has an issue, or who is defiled by the seed that comes out of him, and of women who are sick of her flowers and of a man that lies with her" - that is, a man with an infected penis, a woman who is menstruating, and a man who has sex with her in this condition. Important stuff that you won't want to miss!
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these...2023-03-1512 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#47: Leviticus 12-14 | Unclean mothers and leprosyIn this episode, God explains his views on childbirth and leprosy. Here is a brief summary.
Women are unclean and sinful after childbirth - and they are twice as unclean if they have a baby girl.
Those with leprosy are unclean and excluded from the community.
But fortunately, God has a cure for leprosy. For the details, listen to the podcast.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-1313 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#46: Leviticus 11 | All creatures clean and uncleanIn this episode, God explains his complete animal taxonomy. All animals are classified as either clean or unclean. The unclean animals are abominations to God, and he insists that we consider them abominable as well.
Among the abominable birds are eagles, owls, hawks, and herons - and bats, which just abominable birds to God.
Other abominable creatures are shrimp, crabs, lobster, oysters, and clams.
And watch out for those lying creeping things that go on all four, with legs above their feet. They are abominations, too.
The text and notes for thi...2023-03-1111 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#45: Leviticus 8-10 | God burns Aaron's sonsIn this episode, we hear more about the urim and thummim and the curious girdle of the ephod.
Moses wipes blood on Aaron and his four sons' right ears, thumbs, and big toes.
The fat, rump, intestines, liver, unleavened cake, oiled bread, wafer, and right shoulder are all waved for a wave offering before the Lord.
Blood is sprinkled on Aaron and his sons, and everyone sees the glory of the Lord.
And then God burns to death Aaron's sons, Nadab and Abihu, for offering strange fire.
The text a...2023-03-0912 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#44: Leviticus 5-7 | More animal sacrificesIn this episode, we learn what God wants us to do when we are unclean and guilty for for touching bodily discharges, dead bugs, etc. It's all a statute forever.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-0716 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#43: Leviticus 1-4 | Animal Sacrifices: All the fat is the Lord'sLeviticus begins by giving detailed instructions for animal sacrifice. Burnt offerings, meat offerings, and peace offerings - and sprinkling blood seven times in front of God so he can forgive your sins through ignorance. God explains it all for you in the first few chapters of Leviticus. But in all of this, remember: All the fat is the Lord's!
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-0511 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#42: Exodus 35-40 | Bezaleel and AholiabThe last six chapters of Exodus are about a man who was filled "with the spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge," a man, who no one has ever heard of - Bezaleel.
He and his helper, Aholiab, devised all manner of curious and cunning works in gold, silver, brass, stones, and wood. These two men and their wonderous works were so important to God that he spent five chapters telling us about them. No on has been interested in any of this since.
The text and notes for this episode can...2023-03-0312 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#41: Exodus 34 | The Real Ten Commandments?In Episode 39, Moses broke the original stone tablets. Now, in this episode, God replaces them with another set, saying that he'd write the same words that were on the first ones. But the words and the commandments on the replacement set were quite different. So which are the real ten commandments?
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-03-0114 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#40: Exodus 33 | God shows Moses his back partsIn this episode, Moses talks to God face to face, and asks to see God's glory.
God says he can't see his glory, but shows him his back parts instead.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-02-2709 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#39: Exodus 32 | Aaron's golden calfAaron makes a golden calf, the people dance around naked, and God decides to kill them all.
But Moses talks God out of it, breaks the stone tablets, and tells the people to kill their family, friends, and neighbors. The Levites obey him and kill 3000 people.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-02-2515 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#38: Exodus 30b - 31 | Taxes, feet washing, and perfumeIn this episode, God lays out his flat tax plan. He demands half a shekel as a ransom from everyone - or he'll send plague on you. The rich won't pay more and the poor won't pay less.
We also learn that priests much wash up - or they'll die.
And God gives us detailed instructions for making perfume. But for God's sake, don't use it on yourself!
Oh, and make sure you properly observe the Sabbath. If you don't, you'll be killed.
The text and notes for this episode can...2023-02-2311 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#37: Exodus 29b - 30a | Animal sacrificeIn this episode you will learn how to make wave, heave, and sin offerings to God - along with daily animals sacrifices and instructions for making your own sacrificial altar.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-02-2116 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#36: Exodus 28 - 29:a | How to make a priestThis episode provides all the details you'll need to outfit and ordain a priest.
But no one follows this procedure today. Jews haven't followed it since the destruction of the second temple in 70 CE. And Christians ignored it completely right from the beginning - as they have most of the commandments and instructions that are found in the Hebrew Scriptures.
So if no one follows it, why isn't it removed from the Bible?
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting...2023-02-1912 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#35: Exodus 24-27 | Stuff God wantsIn this episode God gives us his wish list. Well, it's not really a wish list, it's a list of things that he demands from us. There are so many things that God wants that it takes three chapters to list them - and they are repeated again later in Exodus.
One thing is obvious from the list: God really likes gold. For example, the vessels alone will require a talent of gold, which is about 33 kg.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts...2023-02-1710 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#34: Exodus 22-23 | Kill witchesGod keeps giving Moses commandments. Here are a few from this episode:
A thief who is too poor to pay back what was stolen, shall be sold to pay for the theft.
If a man entices an unmarried woman to have sex with him, he must marry her, unless the father refuses to give her to him, in which case he must pay him the going price for virgins.
Kill witches, people who have sex with animals, and people who worship other gods.
But there are some good rules here, too. One of my favorites is this...2023-02-1515 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#33: Exodus 21 | He is his moneyExodus 21 contains God's commandments on slavery. Verses 20-21, for example, say that you may beat your slaves, as long as they survive for at least a day or two after the beating - because a slave is your money.
God also provides instructions for taking a second wife and selling your daughter - and tells you what to do if she fails to please her new master.
The chapter also commands parents to kill their children if they curse or strike them.
And it includes a passage that is as close as the...2023-02-1316 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#32: Exodus 19-20 | The Ten CommandmentsAs Moses prepares to meet God on Mount Sinai, he tells the men not to have sex with their wives, and warns the people not to come near the mountain or God will kill them. Then, after the eighty year-old Moses goes up and down the mountain a few times, God delivers the (ten?) commandments.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-02-1215 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#32: The Ten Commandments (Exodus 19-20)Exodus 19
Moses visits God on Mount Sinai
Exodus 20
The Ten Commandments
A few more commandments
2023-02-1115 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#31: Exodus 16-18 | Quails from heaven, water from a rock, and war with AmalekIn this episode, the people complain about the lack of food, so God sends them quails and manna from heaven. They complain about the lack of water, and God has Moses strike a rock with his staff to make water come out. Then they fight a war with Amalek, and God makes them successful when Moses's hand is up, but they are defeated when his hand is down. When Moses was too tired to do that, Aaron and Hur hold his hands up all day so the Israelites can defeat the Amalekites.
The text and notes for...2023-02-0912 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#30: Exodus 13-15 | The Lord took off their chariot wheelsMoses parts the Red Sea so the Israelites can cross on dry land. Then God lets the water rush back to drown the Egyptians - after taking off their chariot wheels to make sure they couldn't escape.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-02-0714 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#29 Exodus 11-12 | God kills all Egyptian firstborn sonsGod finally finishes up his ten plagues by killing all of the Egyptian firstborn children and animals. He also devised a clever way to avoid killing the Israelite children - by having them kill a lamb and wipe it's blood on their doorposts. That way, when he saw the blood, he'd know not to kill the firstborn children in their houses.
After God finished child-killing, the Israelites left Egypt after stealing the Egyptians' jewels, silver, and gold.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts...2023-02-0513 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#28: Exodus 9-10 | Boils, hail, and locustsGod continues to send plagues on the Egyptians: he kills their farm animals and sends boils on man and beast.
Then he took a little break and hardened the Pharaoh's heart again.
The episode ends with God sending three more plagues: hail, locusts, and three days of darkness.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-02-0312 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#27: Exodus 8 | Frogs, lice, and fliesThe plagues continue in this episode, with the second plague of frogs. But the Pharaoh's magicians knew how to do frogs, too.
The third plague did the trick, though. Lice! The magicians couldn't do lice, so they knew it was done by the finger of God.
The fourth plague was flies, and the magicians didn't even try to do this one. How could they compete with the Lord of the Flies!
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at...2023-02-0112 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#26: Exodus 5-7 | Uncircumcised lipMoses tells God that he can't be his spokesman because he has uncircumcised lips. But God says, that okay, his brother Aaron can speak for him.
So God teaches them some magic tricks, and they're off to see the Pharaoh.
When they arrive they do the water to blood trick (the first plague of Egypt), but the Pharaoh's magicians know that trick, too. Shucks!
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-3011 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#25: Exodus 4:19-31 | God tries to kill MosesThe Bible is filled with strange stories. But this is one of the strangest.
It all takes place in just three verses, so it's easy to miss - or skip over, saying, "I don't know what the hell that was, but I think I'll just keep reading and not think about it too much."
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-2813 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#24: Exodus 3-4ab | A burning bush and some magic tricksIn this episode, God appears to Moses in a burning bush and teaches him some magic tricks.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-2611 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#23: Exodus 1-2 | Introducing MosesThe baby Moses floats down a river and is rescued by the Pharaoh's daughter. Sometime later, he murders an Egyptian, flees to Midian, and marries a woman named Zipporah.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-2412 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#22: Genesis 46-50 | Even more about JosephIn this episode, Jacob asks Joseph to put his hand under this thigh while he promises not to bury him in Egypt. Then he dies, after messing up a blessing of Joseph's sons Ephraim and Manasseh, and giving a bizarre deathbed speech.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-2215 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#21: Genesis 42-45 | All about JosephThere's a famine in Canaan, so Jacob sends his sons to Egypt to buy grain. The person they have to buy it from is Joseph. He pretends not to recognize them, but eventually he reveals himself to them as the brother they hated and tried to get rid of.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-2011 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#20: Genesis 39-41 | Potiphar's wifeIn this episode:
Potiphar's wife tries to seduce Joseph, and then accuses Joseph of trying to rape her. So Joseph is imprisoned.
While in prison, Joseph interprets the butler and baker's dreams.
The Pharaoh asks Joseph to interpret his dreams, and Joseph does that.
The Pharaoh gives Joseph a new name (Zaphnathpaaneah), a wife, gold chain, and chariot - and told everyone in Egypt to obey him.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-1811 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#19: Genesis 38 | Er, Onan, Judah, and TamarThere's a lot going on in this episode. Here are some of the highlights:
Judah had sex with a Canaanite woman and they had three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah.
Judah found a wife for Er, whose name was Tamar.
Er was wicked in the sight of the Lord, so God killed him.
Judah told Er's brother Onan to have sex with his dead brother's wife.
Er did that (more or less) but spilled his seed on the ground. So God killed him too.
Judah had sex with Tamar, who was disguised as a prostitute.
When Judah finds...2023-01-1613 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#18: Genesis 35-37 | Joseph, the favorite sonIn this episode,
God renames Jacob (again) as "Israel" - although God continues to call Jacob "Jacob" now and then.
Rachel dies in childbirth while delivering Benjamin.
Reuben has sex with his father's concubine.
We learn about Jacob's family values. (He loved Joseph more than his other children.)
Joseph's brothers decide to kill Joseph, but throw him in a pit instead.
And the Midianites (or Ishmaelites) buy Joseph and take him to Egypt.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com...2023-01-1414 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#17: Genesis 34 | Shechem and DinahThis is the Bible's version of Romeo and Juliet. It includes the best example of a good father in the Bible: Hamor.
Hamor was willing to endure a painful circumcision so that his son, Shechem, could marry Dinah, the woman he loved, and his people and the Israelites could live peacefully together.
Unfortunately, while Shechem, Hamor, and all of the males were recovering from their circumcisions, Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, attacked and killed all the males in the kingdom, taking their woman, children, and animals for themselves.
The text and notes for...2023-01-1210 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#16: Genesis 32-33 | Jacob wrestles with God - and wins!Jacob and a man wrestled all night. The man refused to tell Jacob his name, but gave Jacob a new name: Israel, and said that he had wrestled with God and won.
The text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-1011 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#15: Genesis 31 | I can't stand up now. Period.Jacob, his four wives, and twelve children leave without saying goodbye, taking lots of Laban's stuff without permission - including his "gods". Laban and his sons chase after them. When they catch up to them, Laban searches for his graven images, but Rachel hid them in a box that she was sitting on and said, "I can't stand up because I'm menstruating." So that did it. No man back then would get near a menstruating woman!
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along...2023-01-0808 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#14: Genesis 29:b - 30 | The great baby-making contestJacob has sex with his wife's sister by mistake and doesn't figure it out until the next morning, Rachel trades sex with Jacob for some mandrakes, and God opens and closes wombs along the way. Over a twenty-year period, Jacob and his four wives have eleven sons and one daughter, which must be some kind of record outside of Utah.
This episode also shows Jacob's (and God's) biological knowledge - where he makes striped baby goats by having goats copulate while looking at striped rods.
The text for each episode can be found at the...2023-01-0616 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#13: Genesis 28-29a | Stairway to heavenLike his father Abraham, Isaac didn't want his son to marry a Canaanite. So Isaac told Jacob to go visit his uncle and marry one of his daughters. On the way, he dreamed about a ladder going from earth to heaven with angels going up and down on it. When he arrived at his uncle's village, he met Rachel at the well (which is the place to meet women in the Hebrew scriptures).
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along with us.
2023-01-0408 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#12: Genesis 27 | Rebekah and Jacob deceive IsaacWhen Isaac was old and nearly blind, Rebekah and Jacob trick him into giving Jacob the blessing that belonged to his brother Esau.
But it was all according to God's plan because, as the Bible says, God hates Esau. (Malachi 1:3, Romans 9:13)
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along with us.
Text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2023-01-0212 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#11: Genesis 26 | Isaac uses his father's "She's my sister" lieIsaac repeats his father's "She's my sister" lie to the same king that his father lied to long ago. And he enriches himself in the same way.
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along with us.
Text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2022-12-3110 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#10: Genesis 25 | A bowl of lentil soupWhen Abraham was at least 140 years old, he found another wife named Keturah, and had another six sons (and God knows how many daughters). He died when he was 175, giving pretty much everything to Isaac.
Isaac's wife, Rebekah, was barren, but God fixed that after Isaac prayed about it. She had twins, Esau and Jacob. Esau was the first to come out, so he was the firstborn son. But Rebekah and Jacob tricked Esau into trading his inheritance to Jacob for a bowl of lentil soup.
The text for each episode can be found at...2022-12-2911 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#9: Genesis 23-24 | Finding a wife for IsaacAbraham makes his servant swear (by putting his hand under Abraham's thigh) that he won't let his son Isaac marry a Canaanite. So the servant returns to Abraham's hometown in Mesopotamia and finds a good-looking virgin (Rebekah) for Isaac to marry.
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along with us.
Text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2022-12-2714 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#8: Genesis 22 | The sacrifice of IsaacIn the last episode, Abraham abandoned his first son, Ishmael, and his mother, Hagar. Now God tells Abraham to sacrifice his second son, Isaac, as a burnt offering.
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along with us.
Text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2022-12-2511 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#7: Genesis 21 | Abraham abandons Hagar and IshmaelWhen Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 90 years old, God visited Sarah, made her pregnant, and Isaac was born. Sometime later, Sarah saw Ishmael mocking Isaac and told Abraham to abandon Ishmael and his mother Hagar. God told Abraham to do as he was told, and he did.
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along with us.
Text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2022-12-2514 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#6: Genesis 20 | Abraham repeats the "She's my sister" lieAbraham and Sarah repeat the same "she's my sister" lie they told in episode 3. God threatens to kill King Abimelech and his people for believing the lie, but decided to close all the wombs in the king's household instead. He opened them up again, though, after Abraham asked him to. And once again, Abraham enriches himself by telling the lie.
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along with us.
Text and notes for this episode can be found here.
...2022-12-2108 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#5: Genesis 19 | Sodom and GomorrahIn this episode, two angels come to Sodom and stay at Lot's house. All the men of the city demand to have sex with the angels. Lot refuses to give them the angels, offering his two virgin daughters instead. Lot and his family leave the city, while God destroys it by raining fire and brimstone upon it. God turns Lot's wife into a pillar of salt for looking back, and Lot and his daughters camp out in a cave. The daughters get their father drunk and have sex with him, which resulted in two baby boys.
The...2022-12-1910 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#4: Genesis 15-18 | Ishmael, Abraham's firstborn sonAbraham, Sarah, Hagar, and Ishmael - just one big happy family.
Plus Abraham circumcises himself when he's 99 years old, and he tries to talk God out of killing everyone in Sodom.
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along with us.
Text and notes for this episode can be found here.
If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW.2022-12-1717 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#3 plus: Genesis 9:20-27 | What did Ham do?#3 plus - A few more words about the curse of Canaan
The story about Noah's drunkenness, the sin of Ham, and the curse of Canaan has troubled everyone who has read it.
What exactly did Ham do that was so awful to deserve such a severe punishment?
It all takes place in just eight verses (Genesis 9:20-27) and it was covered in our last episode. But we didn't have time to discuss the various theories that have been proposed about the sin of Ham.
So if you've ever wondered what Ham di...2022-12-1514 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#3: Genesis 9-14 | The Curse of CanaanAfter drowning every living thing in the flood, God repented and promised not to do it again. He even put the rainbow in the sky as a sign of his promise.
The first thing Noah did after leaving the ark was sacrifice some endangered species to God. Then he planted a vineyard, got drunk, and lay naked in his tent. When his son, Ham, happened to see him in this condition, Noah cursed not Ham, but Ham's son Canaan and all of his descendants with slavery.
Sometime later, everyone on earth came together to build...2022-12-0620 min
The Bible in Fewer Words#2: Genesis 4-8 | The Sons of God and the Daughters of MenIn this episode, we learn about Adam and Eve's family values. Their first son, Cain, killed their second son, Abel, and later, when Adam was 130 years old, they had a third son, Seth. Then sometime in the next 800 years, Adam and Eve had some daughters.
After Cain killed Abel, God put a mark on him so no one (his parents?) would kill him for killing Abel. Then Cain got married, moved to the land of Nod, and built a city that he named after his son, Enoch.
About this time, the sons of God had...2022-12-0419 minThe Bible in Fewer Words#1: In The Beginning (Gen. 1-3)In this podcast, Carole and Steve Wells present the Bible, the whole Bible, and nothing but the Bible - but in fewer words.
We try hard to leave nothing out - except for the boring, repetitive, and uninteresting parts. By doing so, we plan to cover the entire Bible in a series of 10-15 minute episodes.
This is our first episode, which covers the two creation stories and the Garden of Eden.
The text for each episode can be found at the Skeptic's Annotated Bible website, where we encourage you to read along...2022-12-0225 min
The Bible in Fewer WordsIntroductionThis is the introduction to the Bible in Fewer Words Podcast by Carole and Steve Wells.2022-11-3008 min