Shows
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 189 - Joke's On You I Was Only PretendingWE'RE BACK. Your boys - Chris and Grant - are back at it again with the RPG design, or rather, back at it again with a LOT of chat about Sheffield nightlife and some tangential Games Content. In this week's episode:
- How Things Are Different In The North To The Way They Are In The South: a fascinating and novel topic of discussion
- Vehicle RPGs? Is that a thing?
- dare u enter our liminal IKEA hellscape
- Deliberately making tea wrong online just to upset people
And many more! We love ya. Keep it sleazy, kid.
...2021-09-031h 00
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 186 - Three Games Are Better Than NoneLook! An episode!
So yeah, it's been a weird time and we have been late with episodes. We get it. So Grant and Chris have squashed themselves into a tiny office in the middle of a blazing heatwave in an attempt to bring you, valued listener, some delicious content.
On the other hand the room got so dangerously hot that we had to breaks, so enjoy that weird format.
G + C
xoxoxox2021-06-1654 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 180 - Harried FlightWe are back once again with the ill behaviour and a structured and focused RPG design session featuring incisive commentary and insider secrets.
Hugs and kisses,
Grant + Chris
[Editor's note:] The bird Grant was trying to remember was a Cassowary, and the game Chris completely forgot was Bagatelle2021-03-0541 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 175 - Christmas DamageThere aren't enough games about Christmas - even fewer about managing the correct amount of festive cheer, lest the Spirit overwhelm you and try to hunt you down until you LEARN. Well: now there's one.
Well: now there's the IDEA of one. So maybe that's enough.
Merry Early Christmas.
- Grant and Chris2020-12-1143 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 166 - St Evocatia's School For Adventurous ChildrenNot calling out anyone in JK Particular but we reckon there's a gap in the market for a media property about a selection of increasingly endangered magical schoolchildren. To that end: what if D&D, but in High School?
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2020-09-181h 00Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 165 - StonekillersGrant want's a game about bees and Chris wants a castle. From this we bring you Stonekillers, a flying castle game that is probably our most marketable to date.
See if you can tell just how tired we are from our voices. It's a fun game!
G + C2020-09-1148 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 164 - Feast of the GodsGrant gets an idea about mining games and we immediately kick it to one side in favour of a barbecue based crafting system of mythical proportions.
Lots of love,
G + C2020-09-0453 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 163 - Ghosts of the mech gameWhat if a game had mechs in it? Can you imagine such a thing? We can, so we recorded us doing just that.
Next week will be episode-less as Grant is on holiday in a secluded and secret location. Though rumour has it that if you can find him he has to give you his gold.
Lots of love,
- G + C2020-08-1455 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 162 - S.H.A.R.K.Games about sharks - which is definitely a genre of games - are too arcadey for our tastes. Too low-brow. What this world needs is a high-concept, absurdist, hypertechnical electronic intrusion and counterintelligence game about sharks.
Also, please enjoy our new format. Please.
- Grant and Chris2020-08-0748 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 161 - MonopolygamyHappy Gencon everyone!
Grant and Chris are live on the show floor, talking about:
Riddle magic
Adventurer poop
and the ever enthralling topic of specificity
There is also some attempts at game design with weird monopoly sets, a remake of die hard, and Chris getting really into plums.
Much love
G + C2020-07-311h 04Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 156 - IKEVAA combination of timed puzzles and resource management to, maybe, build a functioning giant robot by hand before the monsters arrive and eat the city. Or if not a *fully* functioning giant robot, then maybe just build enough to put on top of a hill and roll down into them.
Also this week:
- Why not try: War?
- Pitching games without resorting to "just fuckin google it"
- Players who add too much backstory, and how to use it against them
- A Sexy Oglaf Game, like we're equipped to talk about that
- Mothballs
- Competitive Lying
And...2020-06-201h 05Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 155 - A Short Series of 36 Books About Destroying Your School Called "The Thing Chronicles"That's the problem with the Animorphs - too much moving around. Terrible. Much better if instead of animals they can turn into ladders and screws and sofas and shit. Also in this week's episode:
- Avoiding that terrible bit where players introduce their characters to each other
- Making items memorable, or if you can't do that, getting better players
- Sparing the lives of D&D monsters
- Obstacle Golf
- The Ultimate Tory Sport (Don't Worry, It's Not Fun)
And many more. We love you so much. Come here.
- Grant and Chris2020-06-1254 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 154 - Blimp Underground"Take me down / Blimp Underground," sang The Sneaker Pimps, back in 1996. Or something like that, anyway. Come to think of it, what sort of name is "Sneaker Pimps?" Weird. Maybe they sold trainers before they were a band. Or rented out shoes to fetishists for sexual purposes; one or the other.
In this week's show:
- FRIENDS the RPG
- Dragons with a Wisdom Rating
- Magic Item Startups
- Cavaliers & Coursers
- Reverse vampires?
- Blimps, but not the kind that crash and kill everyone inside
And many more. Much love,
- Grant & Chris2020-06-051h 01Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 150 - Night Night Sensible GhostTerrible and wonderful news! Grant has replaced the need to think up original ideas with a random game name generator that spits out pure gold* every time. Sorry, games design studios. Your time is up.
In this week's episode:
- Cursed arrow orchards (archards?)
- Stitching five games together into a sort of Frankenstein's monster
- How granular do you have to go with the old worldbuilding?
- A game based on the Inverse Ninja principle
- Sleepy spectres
- Tennis Vampires
- Will-they-won't-they car crashes
And more! We adore you. Just look at you, you pretty little thing.
...2020-04-2449 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 149 - Session OmegaSure, we all love STARTING campaigns - but who wants to actually go through the long-winded process of PLAYING the damned thing? With our new Dungeons and Dragons module, we'll ensure that no game ever fizzles out because you'll be able to explosively detonate your plot within 45 minutes or less. Or your money back!
Also:
- Session Zero advice
- New Axes of Evil (also Good, Lawful, Chaotic, etc)
- Fictional Detectives?
Much love. Be good!
- Grant and Chris2020-04-2043 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 148: Darkest MarshesBit of a shorter episode this week - we're running an online convention on the HDF Discord, dontcherknow. Coming up this week:
- Easily avoidable mistakes that every new game designer makes
- How to use published adventures (it involves a red pen and judicious editing)
- Also we actually design a real game? Not just one with a rhyming celebrity title or anything.
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2020-04-1137 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 147 - Contact PictionaryWho would win in a fight? We spend the first half of the episode dealing with such fantastical matchups as:
- The X-Men versus The Omen
- Nigella Lawson versus Nigel Slater
- Beyonce versus Gilgamesh
- Kirby versus.... Anything
Then we design a game that's American Football but with drawing in it.
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2020-04-0357 minHearty Dice FriendsEpisode 143 - Stars Of EternityWe're confident that we can build a fully-realised world in Unity for just under ten thousand dollars, and what's more, we have support for horses, eighteen kinds of magic, three different kinds of catgirl and something we're calling ULTIMATE LIFE PATH DEVELOPMENT.
Also in this episode:
- Getting back into GMing after an extended break
- Big setting or small setting?
- Predestined dooms at character generation
- Expensive things that aren't magic items
And:
- Garbage Vendor Simulator
- Schoolyard Heroes
- THE MOON IS A LIE
We adore you. Be good to each other.
- Grant and Chris2020-02-211h 10Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 142 - National TrustWhat's that, up in the rafters? Why, it's Nicolas Cage, scrabbling around the roof like a big horrible spider and trying to suck secrets out of the ceiling! What a scamp. Also in this week's episode:
- How to reveal where the next thing in the plot is happening
- An extended reminiscence of Chris' youth as a martial artist
- Elimination rounds for con games
- Dealing with the impossible dullness of setting sections
- Suturing hams onto your fists
- VAPORGLAIVE
And many more. We love you.
- Grant and Chris2020-02-141h 09
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 140 - Perfectly Normal Hireling Simulator"Beholder?" Don't even know what one of those is, mate. "Eye stalks," you say? Sounds crazy. Wouldn't want to see one of those. Now, excuse me while I pop off to eat cooked food and then defecate in a hole, as us humans are so wont to do.
Also in this week's episode:
- Valentine's Day themed games
- Grant's very real experience with a very fake tuxedo
- Pogs, how to win at them, and our eventual Monte Cook-beating masterpiece
- WikiHow Art: The RPG
- Haunted Amusement Park Simulator
- Def Jam Slam Poetry Wrestling
Much love,
...2020-01-311h 00
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 135 - cOracle(We had some audio issues in this one, in as much as Grant just plum used the wrong mic and so he sounds like he's coming through on a submarine transistor radio or some shit. Apologies.)
Coracle Racing. How do you make it interesting? Easy: you get the gods involved, sponsoring wipE'out-style teams of corporate racers and upgrading their little one-person boats into one-person KILLING MACHINES.
We also talk about death - and how to use it in roleplaying games - a great deal in the first half of the episode, but you're here for the coracles really and that's...2019-12-1652 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 134 - Ram, Sodomy And The Lash"Splice the mainbrace! Trim the topsail! Prepare to repel boarders - and for heaven's sake, stop the Admiral eating all the maps!"
On this week's episode:
- Good ways to be Evil
- What is it that centaurs are into, is it humans or horses or what
- Applying human systems of morality to cats
- Ape-Drunk, Pig-drunk, Goat-drunk etc
- A bold RTS played on a 3DS about stopping a ram from ruining your entire navy
Much love,
- Chris and Grant2019-12-0654 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 133 - Puppet PIWe're a couple of days late but we're ready to rock - and by "rock," I mean "talk about roleplaying games for about an hour." In this week's episode:
- How are you gonna break down superheroes into classes?
- Canon in settings, and why it's bad
- Getting the first session as right as humanly possible
- Bin Men - The Revenge, an anti-establishment guerilla game VS Puppet PI, a game where your puppet is a hard-boiled investigator but you're not
Much love and hugs,
- Chris and Grant2019-12-0253 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 131 - Brand AmbassadorsWe learned how to do the audio properly, finally, after 131 episodes. Are you enjoying our non-capping, silky smooth voices? Do you like the way we "reduced" the "noise" on this one? Did you appreciate the way that we used the dark magic known as "EQ," whatever that is?
In this week's episode:
- Teaching players the rules, and why it's the worst
- At what stage of development are you allowed to play a game in your homebrew world?
- Inhabiting your characters through better posture: A Primer
- Mimic Husbandry
- Some sort of cyberpunk game where the Hamburglar...2019-11-0858 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 130 - Halloween RubesIs it spooky in here, or is it just us? Ahahahah. We're a day late for Halloween, but don't let that stop you from soiling yourself in terror on account of the many scary things in this episode, like:
- Death, and why you'd choose it
- Horror mechanics?
- Your house being overrun by rabid doctors
- John Craven's War Raven
- Campaigns that go on too long
And many more. We adore you. Skeletons. Yes.
- The Ghosts of Grant and Chris2019-11-011h 02
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 129 - No Vacating PleaseGosh, would you look at the time? It's Hearty Dice Friends o'clock, and we're here to dispense wisdom and game design scattershot across the internet. Also: Grant's mic is a bit borked for the first ten minutes, but he fixes it after that and it sounds great, we promise.
In this week's show:
- Examples of play, and why they're all lies
- Campaign starts
- Rotating bossfight floorplans
- Whatever the opposite of cyberpunk is
- Chirocopter
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A SACK OF WASPS
- A CBBC drama about the undead
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2019-10-2556 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 128 - Big Orks In SpaceWe're bringing a Very Strange Energy to the podcast this week as we're recording in the last hour of our Kickstarter in an attempt to take our minds off it. Does it work? Well, you be the judge. In this episode:
- NPCs chatting away in combat
- Rumours, and how not to use them
- Should the players roll dice for the GM?
- Tea Parties!
Also we design a game about vampires but then it's about orks and, folks, it would be *very good.*
All our love,
- Grant and Chris2019-10-1844 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 127 - Birthday SpectacularIt's our birthdays! Well; it's not actually either of our birthdays, but it either was recently or will be soon, so it's a birthday special - by which we mean we answer your party-themed questions. We also design a game about tricking Jason Statham into fighting an orc.
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2019-10-1148 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 126 - Magical Girl EmergencyApologies for the audio quality on this one. And the advice quality. The song quality is great, though, as Special Guest Mary Hamilton performs all the classics live and unedited - Hearty Dice Friends Intro, Grant and Chris Make Games jingle, and of course the classic Delightful D (Old Hearty Dice Friends Intro).
On this week's episode:
- Impostor syndrome
- Losing as a GM
- 200w RPGs, and will they ever generate anything worth playing
- Best non-dice resolution mechanic
- Hitman, but you set up romances instead of killing people, but just to be clear you also kill...2019-10-0455 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 125 - The TerbisodeTerb, our lord and saviour, has returned from the void to bless us once with their inestimable glory in the form of several questions. We answered them all in one go. IN THIS WEEK'S EPISODE:
- Charles Dance aerobics
- What even IS a luge, anyway
- What if, right, supermarkets were post-apocalypse religious cults
- The first ten years of marriage, as D&D monsters
- Masterblasterchef
- Fire Sale
- THE VVICK
We love you. Please buy our game.
- Grant and Chris2019-09-1359 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 123 - Going Down Like A Sexy HindenburgWe need to steal the Declaration of Independence, and there's only one man that can do it. And that man is FIVE MEN.
Questions answered:
Your biggest fuck-ups as a GM?
Each session people tell me they like my games setting, so how can I use the setting to garner more interest in the game?
What franchise would you most like to see an RPG for (and who would you like to publish it?)
What's the best plot twist you've ever given your players?
Games Envisaged:
Byker Grove Mice from Mars
Dick Rugburn PI
Kink Shaman
Nick Uncaged
Much love,
...2019-08-3058 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 122 - Cyberpunk 2020 CricketIt's the natural evolution of cricket - a nightmare arms-race culminating in a single player, a suitcase nuke and a wide array of electronic countermeasures. Also featuring:
ADVICE:
- How can you get new players to roleplay?
- Are we in a Golden Age of tabletop?
- Feeling bad after a player used the X Card?
GAMES:
- A strange quadrilogy where you clean ghosts out of an office
- Honestly it's just cyberpunk cricket for most of the episode
- It's pretty good, we just really focused in on it
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2019-08-2359 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 121 - Pride and Prejudice and Wrath and Envy and Gluttony etcHE is a dashing well-to-do gentleman and the seventh son of a seventh son. SHE is an interdimensional rift to a land of torment wrapped in buckling human skin. Will he find love? Will she feed him to the furies on the night of the blood moon? Let's find out!
Questions answered:
- When does failure stop being fun?
- Scariest number of eyes?
- Sliding into DMs, but the kind with dice
- Experience points, and the many things we don't like about them
Games designed:
- Supermarket Malfeasance
- Ballroom Blitz: The Movie: The Roleplaying Game
- "These...2019-08-1653 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 120 - Hoax PlaguesWater into blood? Red food colouring, mate. Flies? Just chuck raisins about. Darkness? Pick an overcast day. This divine judgement lark is easy once you know what you're doing.
Also in this week's episode:
- Gencon "report"
- Drivethru RPG, and their demon hold over the industry
- Spell components: the worst, or the *worst?*
- Writing open-ended settings for fun and profit
- Shoggoth "Farming"
- Work-Mandated Escape Rooms
And many more. We love you more than we can say.
- Grant and Chris2019-08-121h 03
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 119 - Later That DayWe're in the same place! We're going to Gencon tomorrow. We're both a little nervous. Also: we didn't edit this one at all, so please enjoy this raw, unalloyed delivery from your good hearty boys.
This week, we invent a game about nested dramatic last-second reveals. But not without also discussing: Kaijuice Bar, the Kaiju Juice Bar; Race 2: The Sequel To Racing; Cavity Search And Rescue; BuckingSLAM Palace; Crash Test Dumbledore; and, presumably, others.
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2019-07-2951 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 118 - Res.Var = Dogs; //Strap on your hoverboots and jet, credsnatcher! These chummers are all skadding akimbo and we need to detac allegro or we're sharkmeat - you downloadin' this, muchacho?
Anyway. This week we visit the near future and create a game where you have to lie about knowing what computers do, but not before:
- Dealing with RPG Burnout
- Sexy RPGs for Bedroom Times
- Hiding rolls from your players
- Lies about the roleplaying game industry
- Gordon Ramsey's Literal Kitchen Nightmares
- Bear Gryll's All-Inclusive Survival
- Charlotte Church's Late-Night Pop Dungeon
And many more! We love you. Be...2019-07-241h 06
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 117 - Squirrel ThoughtsAs per usual we do the thing where we answer questions, then we get to the bit where we muck about with game ideas that you lovely people have sent in.
The question bit includes:
Just how NSFW do you get?
Monster barometers
GM seating plans
While the game design bit includes:
McNab Drag
Statham gets another game.
Terminators of endearment
Seagull Magnate
That Jesus game Grant posted on Twitter
Squirrel Thoughts
We super love you all, not just for maybe listening to us, but also the weird thoughts you give us every week.
G & C2019-07-1559 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 116 - Apocalypse QueerHONK HONK it's "your boys" Chris and Grant back at it once again, inevitably so, with more roleplaying-adjacent cruft for your soft, delicate earholes. This week:
ADVICE GIVEN:
- What to do when your player won't tell you their backstory
- Is it okay to steal things from other games? (Yes)
- Which schools of magic should be illegal?
GAMES DESIGNED:
- No-One Can Know I Don't Have Superpowers
- Save The World Without Waking Up Your Cat
- Booze at Ten with Trevor McDonald
- Coney Lingus
- Destroy The World With Your Superior Gayness
Much love,
- Grant...2019-07-081h 10
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 115 - Streisand UnchainedBack once again with ill behavior is Grant and Chris!
This week:
Nice boys and boys who are not nice.
Roleplaying passivity.
A modern Warlock with a modernish) patron.
"Balance"
Also
Meet Little Chris.
The John Wicks.
Chivalry hotdog.
Concert Sleuth.
Go forth with the knowledge we have provided and bestow it others! Alternatively just do what the podcasts says and watch the weird Subway advert.
G&C2019-07-0158 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 114 - Guy's Most Dangerous (Grocery) GameWelcome back, Hearty Dice Friends! (Are you the Friends? Are WE the Friends? Are any of us, strictly speaking, Hearty? Anyway.) We're here. On this week's episode:
QUESTIONS ANSWERED:
- Unlucky characters
- Boxed text, the curse of the genre
- Ghosts?
- World Lawyers:
GAMES DESIGNED:
- Dave Bautista's Big Damn Birthday
- Sunday Opening Hours: The Game
- Murder Hockey
- Listen Don't Ask Any Questions, What Just Happened Was Part of the Plan
- And a game in which Guy Fieri hunts you through a cyclopean supermarket for what he believes is sport
Much love,
- Grant...2019-06-241h 01
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 113 - Michelle "Hot-Rod" riguezChris has become addicted to escape room board games, but there's NO ESCAPE from how good this week's episode is! Ah ha. Anyway.
Questions answered:
Shotguns and hope
A creaky witch and a shower head.
A decade is TOO LONG
Anime Ostrich
Games Designed:
The Fast and the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
H-List villains
Football Vs. FootBall Vs. Football Vs. Hockey
John Wicked
Big love,
Grant and Chris2019-06-1754 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 112 - Car of CarthulhuLook: it's the best name we could come up with. If you can come up with a better one, just... keep it to yourself, okay? In this week's episode:
- Dealing with not being the GM's best-loved player
- Favourite mechanical archetypes
- How to spot a bad RPG
- Ainsley Harriott's Racing Chariots
- "Seriously, who keeps covering James MacAvoy's Dog in Jam?"
- Bootleggers and Minotaurs
And several more! We love you. Come here - you've got something on your jumper. Oh- there you go. Now off you pop to school.
- Grant and Chris2019-06-1059 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 109 - Climbing Inside the Sand Worms from Dune and Making a Home ThereWhat, you want a house that *isn't* in one of the Sand Worms from Dune? In THIS economy? Listen: start small, by which I mean, start large, by which I mean, get inside this sand worm and find yourself a life partner by picking through the rubble it's eaten. Okay? Pfft, *millennials.*
In this week's episode:
- Non-verbal gaming solutions
- What kills a session fastest for you?
- Getting over the inevitable realisation that none of your ideas are original
And:
- Tree Pilvedrivers
- The Stock Market Crash of 1929, but with wrestling
- Harvest Moon, but it takes...2019-05-131h 03
Hearty Dice FriendsGet on our lovely yachtsHow is it you pronounce "yacht?" No-one knows for sure, but one thing we do know is that we're going to have them. One each. We haven't decided what they're going to look like but they're definitely going to be lovely. In this week's episode:
- Naming Things, the Hardest Part of Games Design
- Maintaining focus at the table without use of chains OR irons
- Steven Seagal's Stealthy Seagulls
- Locomotive Engine Team Redeemer Z
- THORN, the theoretical game that is going to pay for those yachts
And many more. We adore you. Gallivant around on our...2019-04-2958 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 106 - Tiny Prime Minister"Hey! Down here! Yes, it's me, tiny Jeremy Corbyn! I'm only two inches tall and I need YOU to help me run the country!"
Also in this episode:
- Making currency in roleplaying games at least slightly interesting
- Shit that other players do that we hate
- Performing the old "Jack Reacher'round" to Tom Cruise in an F15
- The Surprisingly Upsetting World of Dogs Making Pancakes
- And several more!
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2019-04-2256 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 105- Fridge ChaseWe are back! Chris is no longer dying from what was no doubt the actual plague so we can record his voice without risk of audio infection.
We answer questions on vocabulary and seduction, design games of Nigella and glass, and generally emit the precise words you want to hear.
Enjoy, to the best of your particular ability.
Grant & Chris2019-04-151h 00
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 103 - Project WIZ BIZWe design a charming post-apocalyptic game about robots trying to bring humans back to the earth, but we 100% don't focus on the sex. Okay? Seriously. It's non-problematic. Also featuring:
- Monsterhearts X Crufts
- Fiona Apple album titles as game names
- Gameshow Dungeons
- OPERATION DESERT FUCK
- Moth Busters
- Enter the Clorgdome
And several more. We love you. Come here, you.
- Grant and Chris2019-03-251h 01
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 99.5 - Slime PopeEpisode 99.5! It isn't 100 yet as we want to do something wonderful and can't think of what that thing is. If you have ideas please post them to the regular places. While we have a good hard think enjoy today's episode containing:
Design tolerance of wargames and RPGs
Monster girls
Horror one shots
New games!
Goat dream daddy
Hippo crits
The guys in the van
New phone who dis?
Eleanor rigby simulator 2019 (for which we apologise)
It is a corker.
Come give us a big hug,
Grant & Chris2019-02-2552 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 99 - PandaromancersWe develop a romance sim for pandas, but not before also sketching out Flavourpunk 2076, a Looney Tunes prison escape simulator, Ghast of the Summer Wine and several other games. We're professionals! This is what we do!
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2019-02-1854 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 98 - High Calibre LichesIt's ya boys Grant & Chris spitting knowledge at you like someone choking on their morning coffee. The information showering you today and making your clothes smell like a hipster coffee shop is comprised mainly of:
UK monster sightseeing tour
Bone Dice
death spirals and verisimilitude or pain bonuses and shonen anime
Phylacteries for the modern Lich
Masked balls - Wherein we accidentally make another video game.
Monstrous species and their place in the world.
So take this napkin, wipe yourself down, and enjoy.
- G&C2019-02-1159 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 97 - Surface RuinersGod, people, eh? People are just the worst. They have all the wrong kinds of dice and they roll them in the wrong places. Also in this episode:
- Alignment systems, why they suck, and a lot of anti-Tory rhetoric
- Ethics of PDF sharing
- Dis-inviting people from a group (without faking your own death)
- Hugely complicated dining tables
And several more! We love you!
- Grant and Chris2019-02-0441 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 96 - Dungeons & Dick PicsWelcome back to another week with HDF. We have specially formulated these sounds just for your gorgeous ears. Expect to be besieged with such titillating topics as:
Privilege milk
Which aspects of daily life make use of game mechanics?
Modern traps
BIG CASH MONEY
Wino animal companions and champagne artillery
Dungeons & dick pics
So get a mug of tea ready, sit yourself down and soak it all up you adorable person.
- Grant & Chris2019-01-281h 03
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 95 - Curse-Based Flight SolutionsIt's weird; you'd think there'd be more superheroes with powers that originate from hexing their children. Also in this episode:
Swearing in fantasy roleplaying games
The best curses?
A perfect age at which to pretend to be an elf
The Holiday Killer
What, in hit point terms, does it mean to have someone bite your cock off
And many more!
- Grant and Chris2019-01-2153 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 94 - Slime ImpostersWe didn't forget the episode number again. Nope.
Contained with episode NINETY-FOUR Grant and Chris wax lyrical about:
Physically assaulting Frog Croakley for ideas
Seeking question sources
Punctuation and ancestry names
Slimes and animate limbs
Impostor syndrome
Hugs & Kisses,
G&C2019-01-1459 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 93 - Gamer Seduction 101Fair warning: this episode has an even lower audio quality than normal, as we're adapting to a new flat. Also: we don't answer any questions in it. HOWEVER: if you want to know what to buy your GM for Valentine's Day, because it's a scant six weeks away, then this is the podcast for you!
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2019-01-0744 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 92 - Sicking Up A Whole CatIt's gross, but it happens to everyone at some point in their lives. Best to try and enjoy it.
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2018-12-3142 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 91 - Heartiest FriendmassIt is Christmas eve. All through the house Grant & Chris were arguing about a range of Christmas themed topics, including such gems as:
Christmas beverages
Pigs in blankets and Yorkshire puddings have a fight
What is a Christmas elf?
The candy cane conspiracy
Rudolph Vs. The polar express
Yule log replacements
Entity chefs.
It gets odd, it gets festive, and it gets very hearty after a bucks fizz or two.
Mad Christmas love from G & C2018-12-2458 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 90 - A Full-Body Dungeon TattooChris is still ill, but we're here, hewing raw podcast from the rock walls of the podcast mines to render down into something listenable. We hope you appreciate the effort we've gone to. In this week's episode:
- RPG tattoos
- D&D PVP
- Fixing magic systems
- Collectible Card RPGs?
And several more!
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2018-12-1759 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 89 - One Big TangentChris is ill. Not the cool kind, the phlegm kind. It's gross. Partly because of this a solid chunk of this episode is comprised some of the stranger things rattling around in Grant & Chris's brain meats, such as:
Post-post dragonmeet roundup
teensy tiny review section as we bought a bunch of books
Inspiring classes
Making bad decisions fun
Challenge Anneka
Overwatch waifus
Pokemon waifus
We build "Depression: The RPG"
Nostalgia
An intro for a large ham
Dangerously big love from,
Grant & Chris2018-12-101h 00
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 87 - Post-Brexit Egg ScoopsBit of a weird one this week. That is to say weirder than usual. Treat yourself to Grant & Chris talking at length about:
Super limited body art rules
Dead trousers
Worldbuilding?
The horseman's word
The forever system
Extended wanking monologue
TPKs
Arming Nazis (but in a good way)
Beating someone to death with a telephone
Cow Owls
So brace for impact and get some Hearty Dice Friends inside you.
- G&C2018-11-2656 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 84 - Ingress RoomsBack with their classic brand of irreverent humour, tired funnymen Grant & Chris deal with the issues facing the roleplaying community today. Examining such topics as:
- Playing games in literal Hell
- VR
- Reading RPGs for fun
- Fear of game mechanics
- and so much more!
So please join our hosts for more advice, poignant and tender emotional scenes, and the odd nob joke.
- Grant & Chris2018-11-051h 01
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 80 - A Familiar ProblemWhat would be a good familiar? Maybe a load of wasps. A big dog. A hat with a fieldmouse in it. A big dog with a load of wasps in it. Anyway. In this episode:
- Fixing familiars
- Just giving up and leaning into the fantasy trope
- Making the best haunted house ever using only your mum and a vampire
We love you,
- Grant and Chris2018-10-0149 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 75 - Monte Cook's Home Address And Telephone NumberDo YOU want to know where award-winning games designer Monte Cook lives and how to contact him via phone? We do. We just don't know. We need it for an upcoming game. Please help.
Also in this episode:
- PvP campaigns, and why they shouldn't
- Bad advice from experienced players
- What do owlbears eat?
- Good guy Necromancers
And many more!
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2018-08-271h 05
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 73 - Mounted Orc ConventionIt's time to learn our most valued secret technique - how to not go utterly deranged at conventions. We helpfully released it the week after Nine Worlds ran in London, so you've got a full year to practice. Okay? Okay,
Lots of love,
- Grant and Chris2018-08-1453 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 72 - HollobobsWe ran out of questions.
Grant was off on his holidays so we didn't have time to get a fresh shipment of questions in. So we turn to twitter for game ideas.
You people over-delivered.
XoXoX
G&C2018-08-0652 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 70 - Third Time's The CharmWhat happened to episode 69? I'll tell you: we had to put it away in a special vault. It was simply too sexy. Anyway, in this week's episode:
- Fixing the quagmire that is Play-by-Post
- Fuckable boats
- Do mimics have children?
- What to play after D&D?
- Seducing a wall-monster
And many more! We adore you.
- Grant (also Chris)2018-07-231h 00
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 66 - Clickety Click, it's sixty-six!Grant's a bit obsessed with bingo this week. In other news:
- Which dice would make the most considerate lover?
- How do you handle different levels of character power or authority in a party?
- Making death meaningful
- Making Cthulhu & Friends scary again
Two fat ladies! Dinner for two! The Lawnmower!
- Grant and Chris2018-06-2557 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 63 - First Time's The CharmRemember your first time? Your first time roleplaying, obviously. We do, and we give you all the insight and advice you need to make your first time a special time. Even if you've been roleplaying for years, there's probably something useful for you in here! Also featuring:
- Which two monsters should you mush together to create a better, incredibly-powerful monster
- Summery adventures for hot hot nights
- Biting off more than you can chew as a GM
- Just yelling about tool proficiencies for a few minutes
And several more! We've been at UKGE all weekend! We're so...2018-06-0450 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 60 - Animals with JobsJust imagine it. A hen that works in accounts! A goose that's a pilot! Comedy gold.
Anyway, we also give advice about:
- Pretend kissing
- Editing softcore pornography
- Playing with strangers
- Terrible one-shots
- Getting people to act rather than just talking about it
And many more!
We adore you.
- Grant and Chris2018-05-1458 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 59 - Operation GumshieldWe've finally earned enough money for Chris to protect his delicate gums. Also on this show:
- Exhaustion vs Desperation
- Reverse levelling???
- Mum and Dad and roleplaying
- Player (character) death
- Also, we fix football
And many more. We adore you.
- Grant and Chris2018-05-0752 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 56 - Jason Statham's Big VacationWe take a break from the advice this week and instead let you into our game design workshop, thrashing out ideas for one-page RPGs coming from prompts sent in by YOU, the listener. Featuring: Enter the Dagon, Butter Spy, Fake Sailor, Scream If You Want To Get Vaster, GURPS, and more.
Keep an eye out for a subsequent podcast in which we fully design the winner, Jason Statham's Big Vacation - a game in which you must make sure that the muscly movie star doesn't get too sad, bored, arrested or dead to enjoy his holiday.
We love you,
...2018-04-1558 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 55 - Toucan Play At That GameWe're back, baby! Check us out! Woo! (We took three weeks off.) Anyway, on this week's episode:
- Octopus beaks, and why are they, and can we stop them
- Cheating at roleplaying games, and can we stop it
- Writing 6th Edition D&D, apparently
- Grant's problem that he has with drinking that we sure hope isn't a "drinking problem," if you get us
- Sun vs Moon
- Chekhov's +5 Sword
And many more! It feels good to be back. We love you. Hop on our knee and tell us what you want for Christmas.
- Grant and...2018-04-091h 07
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 54 - Giraffe TakedownsGiraffes: what a bunch of bastards. Look at them, walking around with those necks and those spots, eating all the good leaves on the tops of trees. Listen - don't stand for that shit any more. Go out onto the veldt and destroy them. We'll teach you how. Never lost another fight with a giraffe.
We love you,
- Grant and Chris2018-03-1254 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 52 - Quantum CumputingDING DING DING! It's the podcast bell! Come along, children, gather round the fire for a hot steaming bowl of podcast. Eat up! In this week's episode:
- Druid sex?
- What do our families think about our jobs?
- Can we get rid of magic?
- Dog-based RPG systems?
- The Elevator Game?
And many more!
- Grant and Chris2018-02-261h 07
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 51 - The Vengabus Is ComingCan you hear that? Bursting wet from the edge of forever? Cruising greasy and unclean over the crest of eternity? Roaring fierce and with many voices, a chorus of nightmares? It is: the Vengabus. It is the herald of Never, and it will be our doom.
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2018-02-1958 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 46 - A Witch In A BinOn this week's episode:
- How do you tell your spouse you don't like their RP style?
- What happened to the people in this village?
- Prestidigitation: why?
- Currency: yes or no?
And many more. Slap in some earbuds and pump up the volume for another hot steaming serving of your boys Chris and Grant gobbing off into microphones for your pleasure.
Much love,
- C+G2018-01-0857 min
Hearty Dice FriendsWorlds Apart Episode 0: Aliens X DwarvesA special treat for y'all: we're trying out some new formats, and one of them is Worlds Apart. In this, we'll build a world live on air based on an established setting - one that you can use in your games, mine for inspiration, or just enjoy listening to. In this episode, we consider the effects of an alien invasion in a fantasy kingdom.
If you liked this episode and would like to hear more, let us know!
- Grant and Chris2018-01-0522 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 45 - Making Sweet Love to a Japanese WarshipIn 1973, Slade sang: "Cum on, feel the noize!" Today, we're inviting you to come on and feel OUR noises, by which we mean: use the delicate bones in your ears to "feel" the vibrations that this episode make when played over a speaker. Coming up this week:
- What's the kind of milk that you'd most like to, and least like to, drink?
- Should you plan the end of a campaign from the start of it?
- What is an RPG that lets you play as vehicles, not people?
- What checks and balances do you have in place...2017-12-3157 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 44 - 2017 Christravaganza pt 2"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Dice! It's us, ya boys, the Hearty Dice Friends, and we're back with the second half of our 2017 Christmas special. In this episode:
- Who's the best Christmas villain?
- How many hitpoints does Santa have, and furthermore, how would you kill him?
- What's the most Christmassy spell?
- What the fuck IS eggnog, anyway?
- 5 tips for playing a better Ranger!
And many more. We love you. Sit on our knee and tell us what you want for Christmas; don't tug on our beards, though. One of them is fake.
- Grant...2017-12-2557 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 42 - A Lot of Jokes About BlankaHey look! It's that big green guy we all know and love: Blanka! He lives in the jungle and he does electric for fun and profit. His dad is a tree and his mum is twenty eels.
Also in this episode:
- What's it going to take for RPGs to become mainstream?
- What interesting weapons do we not often see in games?
- What system would you use to resolve a dance contest?
- Another solid five minutes on crisps, but this time we tie them to dragons?
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2017-12-1152 min
Hearty Dice FriendsBONUS: Hearty Design Friends Episode 1 - TrashkinChris and I wanted to show you how we design games, so we recorded it. It went okay! It went especially well if you like listening to us:
- Design games about rubbish fantasy creatures live in front of you
- Chat about trash magic and ludonecromancy
- Discuss the merits of Scooby Doo and late 90's British erotica
- Write in pencil on the same table as the microphone, and thus go off on an extended and upsetting bit about Japanese ASMR
So it's basically like a normal episode, except we don't answer any of your questions. And if...2017-11-1547 min
Hearty Dice FriendsA Hearty ApologyDue to unavoidable real life events we don't have a podcast for you this week, so please accept this apology.
We will be back next week, with more hunky monsters and bizarre advice.
- Chris & Grant2017-11-1303 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 37 - Behold Deez NutsWe're a little fragile after a "business meeting" the night before, but we bring the noise (by which we mean: nice words) to you, our beautiful listeners, in this non-Halloween-themed episode. THIS WEEK:
- What's the deal with beholders?
- Where shouldn't owlbears be?
- Should bards be allowed?
- What if the more powerful a magic item was, the bigger and heavier it was?
And many more. We love you. Come away with us on a boat. You won't regret it. Don't look to the shore: there's nothing more for you there. You belong with us on the ocean...2017-10-3058 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 36 - Halloween 2017 (part 2)WooOOOOOoooOOO! It's the second part of a spoooOOOooky two-parter, in which the whiskey really starts to get to Chris and Grant and they become... candid. Well, Grant becomes candid. Chris is a model of restraint and decorum, as always.
In this episode:
- Sexy owlbears (again)
- Body-swapping
- A pint of bitter for THE CUBE
- Copyright infringement, right off the bat
- What's the sexiest roleplaying game?
- What's the least sexy roleplaying game?
- A valiant but failed attempt a frank and earnest discussion of our sexuality
And many more!
We love you,
- Grant and Chris2017-10-2357 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 34 - The Ideal LengthWell slap me silly, if it isn't ya boys Chris and Grant back once again with pocketfuls of piping hot advice. Why did we put it in our pockets, if it was hot? We'll never know. We don't think things through before we do them, as this podcast makes increasingly evident.
In this episode:
- How long should a session be?
- How long should a campaign be?
- How long can we make up new level 1 monsters for before we give up and just start talking about goblins again?
- How long can you distract players while you work...2017-10-0954 min
Hearty Dice FriendsLecture 5 - Food and DrinkAnother month, another lecture.
Grant is so ill. Grant is too ill to cut the podcast together. Chris has very kindly done so. This lecture covers unusual food and drink, such as:
- Flowers!
- Grey meat!
- Strangled fox!
- Pies!
- Others!
We love you. Pray for Grant.
- Professors G Howitt and C Taylor2017-09-3048 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 29 - Multinational Dwarf ConsortiumComing up this week:
- German dwarfs
- Kobolds, again
- Big stupid dragons
- Sleep debt
- A brief moment of earnest affection between Grant and Chris, which is quickly laughed off
And many more. We love you so, so much. Have you had a haircut? You look great.
- G-rilla and the C-Horse2017-08-2853 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 28 - Dragons X SkeletonsComing up this week:
- Wine!
- What part of a dragon is tastiest?
- What's so bad about skeletons, anyway?
- Train noise!
- Mimics!
- Kobolds!
And many more.
Much love,
- Chris and Grant2017-08-2156 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 27 - Grot Fairy CaravanI think this is the most legit RPG advice we've given in an episode. We barely talk about dinguses at all. I'm very sorry.
Much love,
- Grant and Chris2017-08-141h 04
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 25 - #HellFlumeHope you like listening to Grant giggle, because that's a solid 40% of this episode. Also includes:
- What gnomes are into
- How to name your characters
- Which D&D class you would like to fight one-on-one
- What does it mean to be a Hydra?
- Etc.
Much love,
- Chris and Grant2017-07-311h 09
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 22 - Jon Bon Jovi's Pog AdventureHEY YOU - you want some advice on roleplaying games? You want to hear two astonishingly warm men stumble through an early-morning recording? Yes? You've come to the right place, sweetheart.
In this episode:
- Easy DMing
- How make players read your rules
- SMASH CUT and other filmographic techniques
- Skateboards
- A long aside on Bon Jovi lyrics
And many more!
We love you,
Grant and Chris xxx2017-07-101h 01
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 21 - Tiny PiratesLike normal pirates, right? Except they're little. Also - they're mice. Some of them are bees. They rob ducks. It's gonna be huge.
This episode also contains some roleplaying advice, but not so's you'd notice.
Much love,
Chris and Grant x2017-07-0358 min
Hearty Dice FriendsLecture 2 - NeotenyJoin Professors Taylor and Howitt for another illuminating, instructive, scintillating and erogenous delivery of hot information in the form of our Hearty Dice Lecture. This month, as paid for by Patron Sean Smith, we delve deep* into the sticky subject of NEOTENY.
*not deep2017-07-0214 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 17 - Greasy Owlbear WizardsThis week brings you some hyper-effective information about weddings, the tedious lives of Illithids and not mentioning a football as a prop.
While this episode may not contain any actual advice Grant and Chris do at least try to answer some questions. Results vary.
As ever you can find us at https://www.patreon.com/heartydicefriends if you want in on the hangouts or the discord where a lot of the questions this week came from.2017-06-0553 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 12 - Boudoir Lighting GambitGrant's moving house! That means that a) the audio quality is a little shonky as he had to record in his bedroom while the movers dismantled furniture in the next room and b) it's uploaded LIVE from Manor Park public library. We hope you appreciate the lengths we're going to for this.
In this episode, Grant and Chris talk about: lighting requirements, telling lies to Capcom, stern authoritative women, fuckparties, wargamer stank, and more.
If you have a question for the Hearty Dice Friends, please drop us a line here: https://goo.gl/forms/0pH7pq42g0EVyKHx12017-04-241h 05
Hearty Dice FriendsMini Episode 1 - Three Word GamesIn this short-form special episode while we're not able to record a new one, Chris and Grant create tabletop games using three random words at once. It's better than it sounds, you know. A couple of them sound playable.2017-04-1034 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 9 - Maritime FactsThis episode contains a solid fifteen minutes of facts about the sea creatures that Chris and Grant like the least. (That's the hagfish and the sea cucumber retrospectively, just so you know.)
Also: how to upset your player characters without killing them, how to plan an adventure without losing your mind, and at one point Grant gets married to a corgi I think? Anyway
If you have any questions for the fashionable and erudite Hearty Dice Friends, you can ask them through this handy-dandy Google form: https://goo.gl/forms/hmPvTiRBVOiNiGHA32017-03-2759 min
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 4: Raccoon Summoning for BeginnersChris and Grant meet up IN PERSON for a very special fourth episode of Hearty Dice Friends, and are joined (briefly) by special guest Mary Hamilton. In this episode: how do you go about writing your first game? What system would you use to run a Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 campaign? What's the best use of a summoning spell? And MANY MORE.2017-02-201h 08
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 2 - Paranoid Gunwizards in LoveChris and Grant return for a triumphant second episode, answering your roleplaying questions whether you want us to or not. Coming up: turning your commute into an emergent storytelling experience, Petticoats und Panzer, kidnapping climate change scientists and MANY MORE.
You can now subscribe to us on iTunes, so you can listen on the go. We can't work out how to use Google Play. Please help us with that.
The theme tune for Hearty Dice Friends is by Kevin MacLeod, and you can listen to more of its kind at incompetech.com.2017-02-061h 06
Hearty Dice FriendsEpisode 1 - Bugs Bunny Luck VoicesJoin us for episode 1 of Hearty Dice Friends where Chris and Grant answer your roleplaying questions, whether you want us to or not.2017-01-301h 03