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Transforming Relationships by gudlifeThe #1 Up and Down Struggle All Couples ExperienceWhenever two or more people are interacting, there's a power flow between them – we just don't know what's happening. While water is to fish, power is to people. It is the medium we swim in. But it's usually invisible to us. We don't really see it when someone powers up on you or you're made to feel small when someone's talking. Whether it’s in a parent-child relationship, in a work environment, or even between friends, there is a power flow that exists between two people. What's important is how we manage the flow of power...2022-08-1821 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeCan Couples Come Back After Years of Unhappiness?In many relationships, there seems to be that inflection point where you decide to go forward together, or you decide to go forward separately. But can you come back from years of unhappiness? Especially, when couples are getting to the empty nester stage, they are asking the question of whether they can come back from this long phase of unhappiness that they've had together. It's complex because there are a lot of things – kids, future grandkids, the house, money, friends, family members – that hold them together. But those things are not enough to generate happiness. They h...2022-08-0419 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeHow to Work Through Major ProblemsMost of us are fairly good at working through minor problems, which are common in every relationship. But when we have those major conflicts, we often don't have the right kind of tools to communicate our way through them. What a lot of couples end up doing is stockpiling their problems instead of resolving them. And so, when future conflicts arise, what comes out are reruns from those stockpiled problems. If couples are not good at being able to resolve these things, then they just have more arguments stockpiled. They don't know how to work through things a...2022-07-2832 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeAfter the Affair: Can We Recover?What if you found out that your partner was having an affair? Can you still rebuild the marriage? How do you navigate getting through or getting past an affair? There are some people that just cannot recover from that level of betrayal. It's just too much for them that they feel it's best to dissolve the relationship and move on from it. There are also couples who, while they may want to end the relationship, have many constraining factors that keep them in, whether it be their kids or a house and so many other factors. 2022-07-0735 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeFive Things to Consider Before You Enter an AffairThere are a lot of variables that contribute to why people enter an affair, and one of the most common reasons is that couples are not investing in the marriage. However, if you’re at this point of your life where you feel miserable in your marriage, or for whatever reason, you no longer think your marriage is working, having an affair should at least be the last thing in your mind, or perhaps, never at all. When the marriage gets neglected, couples can usually handle neglect for a short period of time. But when that neglect shi...2022-06-3030 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeHow to Make Letting Go Easier on YourselfLetting go – whether of a loved one you've lost or of your resentment towards someone – is an act of self-care. When you hold on to the hurt or resentment, it's actually harming you more than it's harming the other person. The process of letting go is just that – it's a process. It's a practice that you have to come back to over and over again. Sometimes when we're holding on, all we can feel is our own pain and hurt. And we really have a hard time looking at the other person from a different lens. The l...2022-06-2332 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeFive Things You Should Never Have to Give Up for Your PartnerAre you feeling the need to change something about your spouse or partner? Or perhaps it’s the other way around where you feel the pressure from your partner to change something that has always been a part of you? When couples come together in a wholesome way where they balance their independence with interdependence, they're going to have a solid relationship. As the relationship starts to form, you may start to see subtle signs where this person starts to show displeasure, unhappiness, or discomfort. They start to make requests or complaints and the other person starts to...2022-06-1635 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeHow to GO CALM Before Things Get Out of ControlWhether you’re in a romantic relationship or any personal relationship, there are definitely things that can trigger you that cause you to become reactive. Therefore, it’s important to be able to dial down your emotions before they make you say or do things you will regret later. The next time you find yourself on the verge of another conflict, here is a powerful tool that you can use to avoid stepping on a landmine that explodes into a blowout situation. GO CALM is an acronym and tool you can use in the midst of a...2022-06-1032 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeBe the Good Kind of Interrupter: How to Use a Time Out Before Emotions OverheatTime out in relationships? Of course, it can be done! But you have to learn how to do it effectively to make sure any conflict eventually arrives at a resolution and it doesn’t end up in a stockpile. When we find ourselves in a conflict, we often forget the importance of embracing the pause. And it just might be the best thing you can do at that moment. Pushing forward in your effort to just move out of an argument as quickly as possible is not always the solution. You can't think clearly in those moments and...2022-05-2638 minTransforming Relationships by gudlife6 Things You're Saying to Your Partner That Make Matters WorseHave you ever found yourself regretting how you showed up in an interaction? Or maybe you walked away thinking you could have handled it better? In today’s episode, learn how to take language and use it for good as opposed to using it for ill in our relationships. Specifically, we discuss these six phrases that can undermine human connection and productive conversations. Becoming aware of those things allows for respectful, effective communication to happen amid conflict. Then we’re sharing some quick scripts that you can use to replace each of those phrases so you’re better...2022-05-1933 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeTired of Wasting Time Arguing? Part 3: How to Repair After the ArgumentThis episode is the last of the three-part series where we specifically talk about how we begin to repair after the argument. In the last two episodes, we have outlined the cycle of conflict where you can interrupt that cycle, break through it, and find a way to disrupt the cycle so you don't continue repeating that pattern. Maybe the couple got into a conflict and they got into mutual repair. They left back on the rails, learned some things, and tried to integrate some changes around the dynamics they were dealing with in their marriage that c...2022-05-1230 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeTired of Wasting Time Arguing? Part 2: Breaking the Cycle of ConflictThis is Part 2 of a three-part series on how to resolve conflicts peacefully. If you are tired of wasting time arguing, then this episode is for you! If you are stuck in that fighting rut, if you feel like you are freezing each other out, or even if it doesn't feel like you're actively fighting, this is all part of your conflict cycle. In the previous episode, we’ve illustrated how to recognize a conflict pattern. Now, a lot of that has to do with awareness, which is the first step in creating change. 2022-05-0527 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeTired of Arguing all the Time? Here's How to Resolve Conflict Peacefully, Part 1: Identifying Your Conflict CycleAre you tired of wasting time arguing? Then this episode is for you! This is the beginning of a three-part series on how to resolve conflicts peacefully. Recognize that this may be a cycle or a pattern of behavior, which is actually the first step to altering the pattern and then ultimately repairing it. You may not recognize that you're in a conflict pattern. Maybe you're saying things to yourself like "this isn't what I signed up for" or "aren't we better than this?" The beauty of these conversations is the real...2022-04-2829 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeHow to Connect with Each Other When You're Busy Taking Care of Everyone ElseOne of the reasons behind conflicts among couples is the disconnect that falls on their relationship. There's a dominant dynamic relationship pattern where most of the interaction is now centered around their responsibilities. They're busy trying to get kids off to school, do the laundry, clean the house, and do so many other things they need to take care of. In other words, couples interact more over the tasks of married life and family life, and they spend much less time just being a couple. They have forgotten to connect and talk about nothing else ot...2022-04-2133 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeHow the Pandemic Transformed Relationships, Part 3: How to Work Around Pandemic Challenges to Professional RelationshipsIf you're a business owner or you worked in an office with people before the pandemic, you've definitely seen and even experienced how the pandemic has not only challenged personal relationships, but also how that has bled into the workplace. In Q4 of 2021, there has been a 184% increase of PTSD expressed amongst workers compared to pre-COVID. The pandemic has definitely put a lot of stress on human connection. We've also been called upon to look at work differently. From the work from home revolution to the great resignation, more and more people seem to be lo...2022-04-1439 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeHow the Pandemic Transformed Relationships, Part 2: How to Correct Damage Done to Your Familial RelationshipsCOVID has perhaps been the most influential, transformative factor in relationships over the last several years. The pandemic, in and of itself, is terrifying, being locked in our homes and seeing streets left like ghost towns. Then there’s an added layer of fear around not being able to work, not being able to put food on the table and not being able to pay our expenses or pay rent, and the consequences are perhaps even more terrifying. Indeed, this has been an extremely challenging time for families. Mothers, in particular, have frustrations that have driv...2022-03-3033 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeHow the Pandemic Transformed Relationships, Part 1: How to Correct Damage Done to Your Intimate RelationshipsWhat we've all been through in the last two years during the COVID-19 pandemic has been a transformative time for couples. What’s unique about stressful times is they can either bring out the best in us or challenge us to the point that would change our lives and relationships forever. How should couples communicate to ensure they manage expectations and meet each other's needs? How can they work together and adapt under pressure to complex and evolving circumstances? How do they get their needs expressed and make sure they hear each other and respond posi...2022-03-3034 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeGet to Know Your Hosts and The Why Behind This PodcastWelcome to the first episode of Transforming Relationships by gudlife hosted by Don Olund and Amanda Berlin! Every week, we share something that will inspire, instruct, and motivate you to do something about your current life situation and relationship to keep you from becoming stuck because being stuck sucks – and transformation is possible. There is no perfect relationship because we all are flawed people – and to be able to live together, respect each other, accept our differences, laugh at our imperfections, and do life together is just powerful. It's not always easy to achieve, but it is s...2022-03-3025 minTransforming Relationships by gudlifeWelcome to Transforming Relationships by gudlife!What if you could hang out with a couples counselor and a communication expert, ask them about relationship needs, love, sex, romance, conflict, intimacy, passion, and more; then take an insight or two to rebuild and reshape your own relationships? That’s what we do each week on Transforming Relationships by gudlife. Hosted by Don Olund –– Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, executive coach, speaker, and author –– and Amanda Berlin — PR and communications pro and former corporate publicity strategist — every episode is an in-depth look at how to communicate better, recapture the romance, and come back from loneliness, overwhelm, betrayal, neglect, and abandonmen...2022-02-0803 min