Shows
The Allender Center PodcastHow to Bring Story Work to Your Faith Community with Petra MalekzadehWhat does it take to cultivate real transformation in a faith community? Not just busier programs or better Bible studies, but real change – mind, body, and soul? In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen talk with Petra Malekzadeh, Facilitation Development Manager at the Allender Center, about what it looks like to bring story work into the life of a local church. Drawing on her years of ministry leadership and her training in Narrative Focused Trauma Care®, Petra shares both the challenges and beauty of inviting people to engage their stories as part of d...2025-06-2747 minThe Allender Center Podcast“Experience Jesus. Really.” with John EldredgeWe’re living in a time that’s quietly—but profoundly—reshaping our souls. Formed by a world of speed, efficiency, and endless information, most of us have been trained to seek quick answers, avoid ambiguity, and live with the belief that if we just do X, then Y will happen. It's not our fault—we’ve been discipled by our cultural moment, where data is king and mystery is often treated with suspicion. In the process, many of us have come to approach faith with an overdeveloped left brain—craving clarity and control, while growing uncomf...2025-06-1350 minThe Allender Center Podcast“How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities” with Dr. Andrew J. BaumanWhat happens when a woman names harm in her church community—and instead of support, she’s met with silence, suspicion, or even exile? Too often, the church’s response to abuse and inequity reveals a painful truth: that protecting systems has taken precedence over protecting people. In this powerful and layered conversation, Dr. Andrew J. Bauman joins Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to confront the realities explored in Andrew’s new book Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities. Together, they discuss: The cost many...2025-05-1648 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Research Behind Narrative Focused Trauma Care®If you’ve experienced the healing power of engaging your story—through a Story Workshop, Recovery Week, Narrative Focused Trauma Care® (NFTC) training, or a Story Group in your own context—you may have found yourself wondering: Why does this work feel so deeply transformative? What’s actually happening here? In this special episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on a groundbreaking, multi-year research project that’s beginning to explore those very questions. Dr. Danielle Zurinsky of the Allender Center and Dr. David C. Wang of Fuller Theological Seminary join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to share...2025-05-0947 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Narrative of Good FridayGood Friday is often described as paradoxical—a day of deep sorrow somehow called “good.” In this moving episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen invite us into that paradox, not just as observers of the crucifixion story, but as participants—people whose own stories of betrayal, abandonment, and suffering echo the narrative of Jesus’ final hours. Together, they explore what it means to enter into Good Friday by entering into our own “Fridays”—those dark and disorienting moments of our lives when we've not only been betrayed, but also betrayed others. The conv...2025-04-1843 minThe Allender Center PodcastStory Work: What It Is and Why It Matters with Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan AllenderHave you ever wondered what we mean when we say “your story” and why it matters? In this special episode, Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan Allender sit down together to unpack the basics. Whether you’re new to this conversation or you’ve been on the journey for a while, this is a perfect place to start—or to revisit the foundation of story work. We’re thrilled to co-release this episode with The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast. Grab a cup of coffee, find a cozy spot, and join us as we explore the transformative power of eng...2025-01-2432 minThe Allender Center PodcastTending to One Another’s Stories in Marriage with Dan & Becky AllenderTo celebrate the forthcoming release of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored by Dan Allender and Steve Call, Dan and Becky Allender reflect on their own marriage story — its unique dynamics, the challenges they’ve faced, and the redemptive journey they’ve walked together. They open up about how their family-of-origin stories shaped their relationship in ways they didn’t initially realize and the intentional work it took to build new, healthier ways of connecting, particularly over the past decade. Whether you’re married, dating, or reflecting on other relationships in your life, we think Dan and Becky’s vul...2025-01-1746 minThe Allender Center PodcastCreating a Better Marriage Through Story with Becky AllenderBecky Allender sits down with Rachael Clinton Chen for a one-on-one conversation. Becky reflects on how she and Dan have experienced profound transformation in their marriage, particularly since the Allender Center was founded in 2011. It was during this time that they began practicing the fundamentals of story engagement within their own relationship—a journey that not only changed their lives but also inspired the Marriage offerings at the Allender Center. No matter what season you’re in—whether your relationship is new or you’ve been married for decades like Dan and Becky—there’s always something new to learn...2025-01-1035 minThe Allender Center PodcastReflections on the Year with Dr. Dan & Becky AllenderAs we near the close of the year, Dan and Becky Allender are continuing a podcast tradition: sitting down to reflect on their experiences and inviting you, our listeners, to join them in this meaningful practice. Dan and Becky share their own reflections—what they’ve learned, what they’re grieving, and what they’re celebrating—as they prepare to transition into a new season. They’ve also shared a few practical ways you can reflect on your year: Scroll through your photo gallery. Notice the moments that brought you joy, growth, or even challen...2024-12-2742 minThe Allender Center PodcastWhat Keeps Us From Dealing With Sexual Abuse?This week, we’re sifting through some of the "debris" that can hinder people from moving into the healing process in the wake of sexual abuse. Dan and Rachael talk about some of the questions that can keep people feeling stuck and silent: What if I don’t remember everything? What if my healing journey affects my loved ones? Shouldn’t I just forgive and move on? Can I wait until life isn’t so busy? What if facing this feels overwhelming? By acknowledging these barriers, you can start to see a way through. Next week, we’...2024-09-0642 minThe Allender Center PodcastSummer Replay: Attachment Stories in Marriage with Dr. Steve and Lisa CallThis month, we're bringing back three of our most popular conversations from last year, featuring some incredible guests. Whether you've heard them before or not, we invite you to listen, reflect, and perhaps share them with a friend. The third and final episode in our summer replay series features Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender, and Dr. Steve Call and Lisa Call. This was our most-downloaded episode about marriage last year, and there’s definitely some wisdom in this conversation. You’ll hear how our attachment styles show up within the context of marriage, how to i...2024-07-2644 minThe Allender Center PodcastBearing Witness to Stories of Sexual Abuse and Racial Trauma*Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual abuse and sexual activity, and is intended for adult audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.* Linda Royster and Sue Cunningham join Dan Allender to discuss the transformative impact of Recovery Weeks. Recovery Week is a holistic experience designed to create a relational, healing space for survivors to explore and engage the impact of their stories of sexual abuse. The Allender Center offers a Men’s Recovery Week, a Women’s Recovery Week, and a Women’s Recovery Week with a Focus on Racial Trauma & Healing for Women o...2024-03-2248 minThe Allender Center PodcastReflections on the Year with Dan and Becky AllenderIt’s become an annual tradition for Dan and Becky Allender to reflect on their year on the podcast, and today, we get to hear their personal reflections on 2023. They discuss the loss of dear friends this year, the fragility of life, the heartache of crises happening around the world, and the impact of disappointment on some of their personal plans and dreams. In the midst of grief, they also express gratitude for the goodness they have experienced this year. As we listen, themes of simplicity, aging, and the awareness of life's brevity eme...2023-12-2937 minThe Allender Center PodcastBonus Episode: The Healing Power of Understanding Your Story with Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan AllenderYou have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on—and engaging—the experiences in your growing-up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. These are the topics that Dan Allender, Cathy Loerzel, and Adam Young explore in today’s bonus podcast ep...2023-12-1140 minThe Allender Center Podcast“Holy Runaways” with Matthias RobertsJoin us for an all-new episode of the Allender Center Podcast as we sit down with our dear friend Matthias Roberts, author of the upcoming book "Holy Runaways: Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned by Religion." Matthias, a queer psychotherapist specializing in religious and spiritual trauma, brings a unique perspective to the conversation. His book is a beacon of hope for those who have felt ignored, oppressed, or rejected by their religious communities and churches. It offers a clear path forward, centered on speaking truth, deep listening, and acting with compassion. Join co-hosts Dan Allender...2023-09-2948 minThe Allender Center PodcastNeurotheology, Part 1: The Origins of Shame with Curt Thompson, MDThis week, we have the privilege of welcoming psychiatrist, speaker and author, Curt Thompson, MD, to the Allender Center Podcast. Curt skillfully guides us through a journey into the roots of shame within the human experience. He explores its emergence even before the infamous act of consuming the forbidden fruit, noting that the serpent's temptation, often overlooked as an act of violence, effectively exploits and manipulates shame. This manipulation resonates through time, manifesting in ways that disconnect individuals from one another and create internal divides, subsequently impacting personal unity and relationships. Joined by co-hosts Dr...2023-08-2545 minThe Allender Center Podcast3 Steps for Trauma TriageWhen trauma occurs, how can you respond effectively in those critical moments? Tragedy is an inevitable part of life, and having immediate tools to respond can help mitigate compounding trauma. Join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen as they offer a practical framework for engaging with traumatic experiences. They present a 3-step process to help you respond: sitting down, grounding yourself with both feet on the floor, and focusing on your breath. This is not about resolving trauma, but rather how to tend to your body in those crucial moments. While these strategies are n...2023-08-1144 minThe Allender Center Podcast“Everybody Come Alive” with Marcie Alvis WalkerWe are thrilled to have Marcie Alvis Walker, the creator of the popular Instagram feed "Black Coffee With White Friends" and the author of the compelling memoir "Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays," as our special guest on this week's episode of the Allender Center Podcast. Hosting this insightful conversation are Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster from the Allender Center. Marcie shares a bit about her process of writing her debut book, in which she beautifully shares her unique stories with candidness. She skillfully interlaces the tapestry of her cultural upbringing, along with her personal...2023-07-2154 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Eternality of Parenting“We're going to invite you as an audience to address the reality that we need to be mothered and we need to be fathered. Whether we have children, whether we have a partner. We need to be mothered and we need to be fathered. And equally, we need to mother and father,” begins Dr. Dan Allender in this week’s podcast episode, “The Eternality of Parenting.” We all have a deep need to be loved and to belong. Our parents are meant to be the first people to meet this need, but they are not always able to do so p...2023-07-1445 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Spirituality of RestWith the arrival of summer, there is an expectation of rest and play. But for many, true rest is elusive. The demands of work, family, and financial responsibilities often hinder our ability to slow down and embrace rest. In our society, busyness is glorified, and we often fear being still, as it may require us to confront our own heartache. However, reflecting on the invitation of Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30, we are prompted to consider the joy and sweetness that can be found when we rest. Dan mentioned in “Sabbath, Explained,” a previous podcast episode: "We ne...2023-06-2341 minThe Allender Center PodcastProcessing Trauma Through PoiesisWe are excited to have Sue Cunningham, who is acclaimed by Dan Allender as the officially-unofficial Poet Laureate of the Allender Center, back with us. In this discussion, we’re taking on the term "poiesis," which comes from the Greek word "to make" and is related to "poetry." At the Allender Center, we believe that writing and telling your story is an essential part of the process of understanding and processing traumatic experiences. We explore how poetry relates to this process in our conversation with Sue Cunningham, Dan Allender, and Rachael Clinton Chen. They also discuss the ef...2023-05-0554 minThe Allender Center PodcastMoving Through Grief“You can’t plan grief. You can’t plan when or how or what will occur,” says Dr. Dan Allender, “But there is something that has to be a decision perhaps made well before. Will I go into these waters or will I remain on the side?” In today’s podcast conversation, Dan and Rachael welcome Mary Ellen Owen, Counselor in Colorado Springs and Instructor and Facilitator at the Allender Center. They take a look at the process of moving through grief and moving from our heads to our hearts and bodies. Mary Ellen shares, “If you’re just a...2023-04-2848 minThe Allender Center PodcastDefusing TriggersOur tendency to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn when we feel when we’re triggered is often a response to something from our past. The work is not to eliminate all triggers, but to understand why you’re feeling triggered, how to defuse them when they come, and when to take a moment to slow down to care for our body, mind, and soul in response to those triggers. Listen to Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen discuss some of their triggers and some of their strategies for defusing those triggers in this week’s episode of the Al...2023-04-0846 minThe Allender Center PodcastHealing to Lead, Part 2If you’re familiar with the work of the Allender Center, you’ve probably heard us say: ““You cannot take anyone further than you have gone.” Whether you’re in a leadership position at work, at church, or within your family, if you hope to lead and help others along their journey, you have to also embark on your own healing journey. This is not something you can observe from the sidelines and coach someone through without doing the work yourself. So what’s involved in that healing process for leaders? What stops us from healing? And a...2023-03-1835 minThe Allender Center PodcastFamily of Origin with Dr. Dan Allender and Adam YoungSo much of our beauty and brokenness — so much of what makes us who we are today — is tied to our family of origin. The ways in which we act, react, and interact with others are directly tied to our childhood origin stories and the hurt that we all inevitably experienced – no matter how perfect (or imperfect) our families were. Why should we spend time going back to name the hurt we experienced growing up? Is it worth it to stir up those memories, talk about painful experiences, and potentially upset our loved ones? Dr. Da...2023-02-0446 minThe Allender Center PodcastParenting the ParentAnnie Allender Robbins and Amanda Christian join their dad, Dan Allender, for a personal and profound dialogue about how they were raised, how that shaped them, and the work that they have done as adults to discover a new width of freedom to be who they really are. Dan also reflects on healing he has found as a parent, and now a grandparent, through his relationship with his children.2023-01-2847 minThe Allender Center PodcastAct Justly, Love Mercy, Walk HumblyWendell Moss, lead instructor and facilitator at the Allender Center, joins Dan Allender on the podcast this week to discuss the crucial passage of Micah 6:8: “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (NIV) Why are justice, mercy, and humility bound together in this passage? And how do they intersect with one another? Listen to this deep dive into the way that these three elements interplay and create a charge that, as follo...2023-01-1448 minThe Allender Center PodcastSharing in the Creativity of Christmas with Sue CunninghamMany of us are inspired to create during the Christmas season - perhaps through hanging up decorations, baking treats and meals to share, or dreaming up creative gifts for loved ones. But beyond the tangible holiday projects, how does the season of Christmas inspire us to engage our creativity and playful nature? This week, Sue Cunningham, Licensed Professional Counselor and Facilitator at the Allender Center, joins Dr. Dan Allender to reflect on how creativity emerges through Christmas.Sue says, “The way God moves in the world with the Christmas story: Mary, Jesus, the whole story is...2022-12-1041 minThe Allender Center PodcastListener Questions: Engaging Past Trauma and Our Families of OriginLast month, we invited our social media followers to send in questions that they would like to hear Dan Allender address. We are honored that so many of you sent in questions and comments. We’ll begin by addressing some of the questions about confronting past trauma in general, and trauma involving families of origin in particular. What if our past trauma is too painful to bear? Should we address our parents about trauma in our upbringing? How do we stop the trauma cycle with our own children? Dan addresses these questions and more in this...2022-11-1239 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Violence of Marginalization“Marginalization is profoundly violent,” states Linda Royster in this week’s conversation with Dan Allender. Linda is the Strategic Alliances Manager, Lead Instructor, and Co-Facilitator of the Story Workshop for Racial Trauma and Healing at The Allender Center. From the very beginning, this conversation challenges the use of the term “marginalized.” As we engage topics such as race, gender, and cultural norms, this conversation sets the stage and reminds us to enter the conversation with the desire to listen - really listen - to voices that are often dismissed or diminished. Linda reminds us that liste...2022-09-1045 minThe Allender Center PodcastReplay and Rest: The Cost of RestThe second episode in our “Replay and Rest” series is a reflection from Dr. Dan Allender during his sabbatical from teaching back in 2015. We hope that listening back to this portion of Dan's story will serve as an encouragement to examine our own attitudes towards rest. We know that rest is of the utmost importance in order to recover from the toll that stress takes on our bodies, our minds, and our hearts. Here at The Allender Center, we are practicing what we teach and many of our team members are taking reduced work hours and vacation time...2022-07-2321 minThe Allender Center PodcastRachael’s Maternity LeaveIn case you missed the title of this episode, the big news is that our beloved co-host of The Allender Center Podcast, Rachael Clinton Chen, will be taking some time away as she and her husband prepare to welcome a new baby into their lives. Rachael reflects on her journey so far as she chats with Dan Allender in what will be her final episode for the next few months. Please join us in wishing Rachael all the best, and as she says in her closing statement of this podcast: “See you on the other side.”2022-07-0941 minThe Allender Center PodcastStory Engagement with Kalee Vandergrift-PorterIn this week’s episode, Dan Allender speaks with one of the driving forces behind The Allender Center: Kalee Vandergrift Porter, the Director of Business Development. Kalee shares her journey of being drawn to chaos, grappling with the expectations put onto her growing up, and discovering her own voice in her story.2022-06-1138 minThe Allender Center PodcastStory Engagement with Jeanette WhiteIn this episode, Dan Allender interviews his boss, Jeanette White, who is the Executive Director of The Allender Center. You will get to hear some of the themes of Jeanette’s story, from her work in trauma care with The Allender Center to her personal encounters with trauma.2022-06-0436 minThe Allender Center PodcastWhy Story?If you’ve just started following the Allender Center, or even if you’ve been around for a while, you may know us as an organization that holds space for healing from trauma and abuse. You may wonder why we place so much emphasis on story.This continued interview of Dan Allender by his co-host, Rachael Clinton Chen, reveals the history of the inception of the Allender Center, why story is at the core of our work, and the reason we believe each of our stories are the key to discovering real meaning and connection to ourselves, to G...2022-05-2831 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Origins of Dr. Dan Allender’s WorkIn the first of this two-part series, Rachael Clinton Chen interviews Dan Allender about the origins of his work in helping people address and heal sexual abuse. You’ll drop into Dan’s story in the mid-1980s as he was finishing his doctoral studies. He was asked a question by one of his clients: “What do you know about sexual abuse?” At the time, this very prevalent issue was not being addressed in secular culture, let alone by the church. Listen to how Dan grew into his unique role as a therapist, teacher, and innovative leader to help...2022-05-2137 minThe Allender Center PodcastAddressing Our Trauma Stories Within MarriageWe have all experienced some degree of trauma in our lives. If you’re married or partnered, you need to have a trauma informed partnership to be mindful of how our trauma stories and narratives impact our relationship. In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender are joined by Dr. Steve Call and Lisa Call to share their experiences in addressing personal trauma in the context of marriage.2022-02-1245 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Making of Redeeming HeartacheWhat goes into the creation of a book? In this special episode, we take a deep dive into the making of Dr. Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel’s new release, Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling. Special guest host Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President & Provost of The Seattle School, Dan, and Cathy discuss how the idea for the book came to be, the process and challenges of writing a book together, particularly in the midst of COVID, and the prophetic nature of the content. As they close the conversation, Derek poses a poignant question to Dan and Ca...2021-09-111h 05The Allender Center PodcastStories from 10 Years of The Allender CenterNo story is without its share of joy, anticipation, trials, and victories, and the same can be said about the founding of The Allender Center. This year we are celebrating 10 years as a center and place where people have found healing from trauma. It has been an immense honor to be able to hear and walk with you through your stories of harm into restoration. Today, Dan and Rachael share memories and tales with Becky Allender and Jeanette White, Interim Senior Director, both former guests of the podcast and founding members of The Allender Center. You’ll get to he...2021-09-0443 minThe Allender Center PodcastCuriosity and HospitalityIn the final episode on hospitality, Dan and Becky step into the realms of ideas, experiences, and suffering. What does it look like to be hospitable to an idea, particularly a new idea, that is offered to us? How can we be more hospitable to suffering, and what does that look like? Throughout their conversation, Dan emphasizes the importance of being able to differ with an idea while also being able to welcome it and ask questions that are not defensive, but have a kind of hospitality that will allow us to be transformed by what we’re engaging....2021-07-3032 minThe Allender Center PodcastProviding Hospitality: A Conversation with Becky AllenderContinuing a conversation about hospitality, Dan invites his wife, Becky Allender, back to the podcast to recount a personal, life-changing experience that changed their perspective of hospitality. Sometimes it is assumed hospitality is setting a ‘perfect plate’ for guests, however, we need to remove ourselves from the idea that hospitality is simply entertainment. How are you engaging others at the grocery store, in your neighborhood, or at work? What does it mean to offer care and welcome from the heart? Throughout the episode you’ll hear more of Dan and Becky’s stories as well as how they are actively...2021-07-2326 minThe Allender Center PodcastEngaging Triggers in MarriageThis week on the podcast, Dan and Becky Allender talk about triggers in marriage with their good friends Dr. Steve and Lisa Call. You may recognize Steve and Lisa from the new Marriage Online Course.What follows is both a humorous and deeply insightful conversation. Triggers can undermine a marriage relationship as a couple often does not have language or context to understand what provoked their partner, or how to engage one another after someone is triggered. Resources: Purchase a bundle of our new marriage offerings, including our Marriage Conference, Marriage Online Course, and Date Nights f...2020-09-1129 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Reality of Marriage in COVID-19“Can you be faithful with the small?” -Dr. Dan Allender As we enter a fall that is full of complexity, we’re going to be having conversations over the next few weeks on the topic of marriage. Before we dive in, however, we want to emphasize that this is a series for everyone—whether you are single, about to be married, just married, or have been married for a long time. Today, you’ll hear Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, talk about the elements of disruption they have been experiencing in their own...2020-09-0533 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Particulars of Spiritual Abuse: Dissociation and HealingThis week, we’re re-sharing the second half of a series Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender recorded last year on the particulars of spiritual abuse. Throughout their conversation, you’ll hear them discuss the effects that spiritual abuse has on our bodies, including dissociation and shame. Because spiritually abusive leaders rarely stop with mind control, they work to create a system in which they can control every aspect—including the bodies—of the people under their authority. Rachael and Dan also explore the long, slow movement of healing in the wake of abuse and the work of tending t...2020-08-2147 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Particulars of Spiritual Abuse: Mind Control and LoyaltyLast year, Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender dove into a series on the dynamics of spiritual abuse and forms of trauma that can emerge in situations of spiritual abuse. This week, we’re sharing with you their conversation about some of the particulars of spiritual abuse including mind control, dogmatism, suspicion, and loyalty. One of the first categories you’ll hear them unpack is mind control, including the implications and consequences of abusive mind control which distorts desire for attunement in order to grow suspicion and mistrust. All of these systems and categories, howeve...2020-08-1442 minThe Allender Center PodcastCuriosity & Commitment: Qualities of a Well-Lived StoryDr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen welcome back former podcast guest Jimmy McGee, President and CEO of The Impact Movement, to have a conversation about the final two qualities of a well-lived story: curiosity and commitment. According to Dan, Jimmy is one of the most curious people (and voracious readers) that he knows. As they talk with one another about these two qualities of a well-lived story, you’ll hear how Jimmy came to be so deeply curious and his commitments to wholeness and formation and to passing on the gifts that he has been given. Res...2020-08-0741 minThe Allender Center PodcastCourage: Qualities of a Well-Lived StoryAs our hosts, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, continue to explore the qualities of a well-lived story, they invite friend of The Allender Center Danielle Castielljo to engage the topic of courage. Danielle is a writer, mother, and recent graduate of both The Seattle School’s MACP graduate program and The Allender Center’s Certificate in Narrative Focused Trauma Care Level I and II. Through their conversation, you’ll hear many stories from Danielle’s life, including her courageous journey to graduate school and the work she is called to do in the world. Resources: List...2020-07-3134 minThe Allender Center PodcastKindness: Qualities of a Well-Lived Story“Kindness is disruptive for our good.” Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen begin to explore the qualities of a well-lived story, beginning with kindness, in a conversation with their spouses Becky Allender and Rev. Michael S. Chen. They talk about how both Becky and Michael embody kindness, and throughout the episode, you’ll hear how stories of both hope and heartache impact how they extend kindness to their spouses and those around them. Resources: Learn more about and apply to Virtual Story Workshop Read a blog post about “The Courage of Kindness”...2020-07-2441 minThe Allender Center PodcastQualities of a Well-Lived StoryWhat draws you to a human being? This week, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen begin a new series on the podcast about what makes up the various qualities of and what it means to live a well-lived story. Our own stories are not enough to guide us into living well—we need other people, pictures of, and examples who reveal the very qualities that our stories are meant to reveal. In this episode, you’ll hear Dan and Rachael discuss the characteristics of a well-lived story worth emulating and how, over the coming weeks, they’ll be...2020-07-1731 minThe Allender Center PodcastListener Questions: Trauma and RelationshipsIn this episode of the podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen continue to address themes and topics related to listener questions. Today, Dan and Rachael take on the question: How do I engage the relational debris of trauma? Whether you are on a healing journey yourself or are supporting a spouse, family, or friends, our hosts talk about how you can engage both the beauty and brokenness of stories of harm when you are not sure either how to receive or be a good support. Throughout their conversation, you’ll also hear Rachael and Dan address the ob...2020-06-2732 minThe Allender Center PodcastListener Questions: Bad TheologyA few months ago, we sent out a call for topics or questions our listeners would like to hear our hosts, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, cover on the podcast. We were overwhelmed with gratitude at the number of responses received, and are privileged to be able to hold the vulnerable, honest questions that have been entrusted to us. Due to the volume of questions, we looked for patterns and themes in the questions. Today, Dan and Rachael take on a topic brought to us by many of our listeners: bad theology. Resources Read T...2020-06-2036 minThe Allender Center PodcastPartnerships in Racial Justice WorkRachael Cinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender are joined by Jimmy McGee, President and CEO of The Impact Movement, and Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President of The Seattle School, to talk about the partnership between The Impact Movement and The Allender Center. The mission of The Impact Movement is “to impact spiritual leaders who impact the world, to engage college students and marketplace professionals [...] and to serve and work in cooperation with and in support of the African American church.” Questions you’ll hear during this conversation include: How do we proceed in the process of dealing with racial trauma...2020-06-1340 minThe Allender Center PodcastParenting in the Midst of a Pandemic“There are broken parts in every one of us that need a good parent.” Dr. Dan Allender Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender have a conversation with Meredith Dancause—a pastor, writer, and parenting expert—about the complexity of being a parent during a pandemic. Not only parenting young children, but how to be a good parent to ourselves. With both humor and honesty, Meredith speaks to positive discipline and grace, the unique opportunity this season affords us, and the need to pause and be curious about our children’s behavior. Resources: Learn more about M...2020-05-2231 minThe Allender Center PodcastRoutine and Rituals in Covid-19, Part OneDr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen invite Heather Stringer, a facilitator at The Allender Center, therapist, and ritual-maker, to begin a conversation about the importance of ritual and routine in a season of traumatic disruption. What does the loss of our previously held routines mean for each of us, and how can creating rituals become life-giving during this time? Resources: Read a blog post by Heather Stringer about tuning into our bodies. Listen to an episode of Makers and Mystics: Ritual Making and Performance Art Watch a presentation Heather gave at The Seattle School t...2020-05-0826 minThe Allender Center PodcastLove and Courage in a Global Pandemic, Part TwoWhat does it mean to be a Christian in a moment like this? How then, shall we live? Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender continue to talk about the impact of Covid-19 and the rapid ways our world continues to change, even in the few days following our first episode. Throughout their conversation you’ll hear words of hope, encouragement, and some practical ways to help us connect with our bodies and engage the realities of trauma. “Can we honor that we’re all in trauma, as a nation, as a family, as an individu...2020-03-1930 minThe Allender Center PodcastTrust and Submission to AuthorityRachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender continue their conversation about authority, this week diving into who we’re meant to trust and submit to in a healthy, biblical way that leads to our flourishing. To begin the episode, Dan reads from Romans 13, a passage often referenced in conjunction with the topic of authority. Both Rachael and Dan acknowledge they are in complex waters and that the words “submission” and “obedience” can be triggering for many listeners due to the misuse and violence done by those in positions of authority. What authority, then, are we to submit to...2020-03-1322 minThe Allender Center PodcastReconnection in Marriage with Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call (re-release)Revisiting an insightful conversation between Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call, a therapist and Affiliate Faculty member at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, about how unaddressed hurt and shame can harm meaningful connections in marriage and practical tools to help rebuild connection where it has been lost.2020-02-1339 minThe Allender Center PodcastA Time of Transition, Part OneDan Allender and Rachael Clinton share an exciting announcement about the future of The Allender Center podcast and talk about how transitions, whether chosen or unchosen, create both danger and deep opportunity.2020-01-1721 minThe Allender Center PodcastPlanning and Remembering Weddings, Part OneDan Allender and Rachael Clinton, Director of Organizational Development at The Allender Center, have a conversation about planning and remembering weddings and what it means to hold both joy and heartache at these momentous events.2019-09-2722 minThe Allender Center PodcastFour Years of The Allender Center PodcastDan Allender, Rachael Clinton, and Beau Denton celebrate more than four years and 200 episodes of The Allender Center podcast. As they reflect on their favorite moments so far, they dream together about how the conversation might continue in the future.2018-10-1919 minThe Allender Center PodcastDan and Becky Allender: Hiding No More, Part TwoThis week, Dan and Becky Allender continue their conversation about Becky’s new book, Hidden in Plain Sight. They reflect on the nature of calling and on the beautiful, wild invitation to step into new terrain while many others choose to coast through life.2018-02-0222 minThe Allender Center PodcastDan and Becky Allender: Hiding No More, Part OneThis week, Dan and Becky Allender talk about Becky’s new book, Hidden in Plain Sight. Becky shares about her writing process and about finding the courage to step from a lifetime of hiding into a beautiful and compelling new story.2018-01-2621 minThe Allender Center PodcastBeautiful Scars: A Conversation with Lauren Bethell, Part ThreeThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues a four-part conversation with Lauren Bethell of the International Christian Alliance on Prostitution. As Dan and Lauren engage questions from the audience, Dan is invited to reflect on the theology of beauty, and on how our own stories of brokenness and harm become our greatest gift in sitting with the stories of others.2017-08-1222 minThe Allender Center PodcastFinding Treasure in the Dirt, Part ThreeThis week, Dr. Dan Allender concludes his three-part conversation with Laurie Proctor, who has completed the Training Certificate and the Externship program with The Allender Center. Dan and Laurie are joined by Emma, Laura’s 14-year-old daughter, who reflects on an experience of trauma and what it was like for her mom to respond to that experience with wisdom and care.2017-07-2223 minThe Allender Center PodcastFinding Treasure in the Dirt, Part TwoThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues his conversation with Laurie Proctor and her business partner, Jean Masukevich. Laurie and Jean have both completed The Allender Center’s Training Certificate, and they talk with Dan about how that experience was part of their ongoing journey of restoration—a journey that has equipped them to step into their calling and pursue their passions in deeper, more transformative ways.2017-07-1524 minThe Allender Center PodcastFinding Treasure in the Dirt, Part OneThis week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by Laurie Proctor, who has completed the Training Certificate and Externship Program with The Allender Center, and is the co-founder of SowThat—an organization that helps others find hope and freedom in the personal and professional lives. Dan and Laurie talk about her journey with The Allender Center, and about how it sparked a new vision for what it means to live into her calling.2017-07-0823 minThe Allender Center PodcastGrief, Emotions, and Essential Oils, Part TwoThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues his conversation about essential oils with his long-time friend Jeanette White, Program Director at The Allender Center. Jeanette and Dan reflect on how the body responds to stress and trauma, and they share how essential oils can be a powerful tool both for the discrete, daily stresses, and for deep persistent patterns that are rooted in our memories of trauma.2017-07-0126 minThe Allender Center PodcastGrief, Emotions, and Essential Oils, Part OneThis week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by his long-time friend Jeanette White, Program Director at The Allender Center, to talk about the surprising and profound ways that essential oils can help in our journeys of healing and recovery. Jeanette shares about her own history of discovering essential oils, and about the ways they have helped her during a year marked by deep grief.2017-06-2424 minThe Allender Center PodcastHitting the RoadThis week, Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, welcome summer by talking about a long road trip they are planning. As they share their hopes and expectations for the trip, they reflect on the thrill of planning, the joy of sharing new experiences, and the importance of remembering. In all of this, Dan shares his hope that a meaningful, memorable trip will always reveal a small taste of the coming Kingdom of God.2017-06-1723 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Marriage Quadrants, Part SixThis week, Dr. Dan Allender concludes our series about the Marriage Quadrants by reflecting on core categories that he sees in strong, vibrant marriages: the presence of desire, conflict that is named and engaged well, the growth of curiosity, and commit and care that grow ever deeper over time. Dan is inviting couples to live for so much more than a nice, pleasant marriage; this is about a kingdom of God marriage. For a visual aid as you listen to Dan discussing these categories, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.2017-05-2722 min
Undone RedoneUR 109: The Heart of Man — Dr. Dan AllenderAuthor, Speaker, Teacher and Professor Dr. Dan Allender joins Tray and Mel for episode 109 of the show to discuss the upcoming film, The Heart of Man, and the importance of entering into our own narrative in order for true healing to occur. An expert in sexual trauma, Dr. Allender shares practical insight into the journey to wholeness. A co-founder of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, he is the author of The Wounded Heart, The Healing Path, To Be Told, and God Loves Sex, and the co-author of Intimate Allies, The Cry of the Soul, Bold Love...2017-05-2400 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Marriage Quadrant, Part FourThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues our series about the Marriage Quadrants by looking at the dynamics in Quadrant Three. Because of the deep levels of hurt, historic vows, and broken styles of relating that can be so entrenched, Dan admits that working with marriages in this category is perhaps the most difficult. As pastors, therapists, or friends, how can we begin to advocate for healing when there is so much loneliness and contempt? For a visual aid as you listen to Dan discussing these categories, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.2017-05-1322 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Marriage Quadrants, Part TwoThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues our series about the Marriage Quadrants, a theoretical framework of marriage that informs how he engages and works with couples. Dan talks about marriages in Quadrant One, which are often marked by comfort and safety but lack desire and authenticity. As pastors, therapists, and friends, what does it look like for us to engage this kind of couple—and their children—with courage and integrity? And for a visual aid as you listen to Dan discussing these categories, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.2017-04-2921 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Marriage Quadrants, Part OneThis week, Dr. Dan Allender launches a new series exploring the theoretical framework of marriage that informs how he engages and works with couples. Dan sets the stage for this series by talking about these “Marriage Quadrants” as a system of sorting and classifying patterns and structures that are highly intricate and complex. While no sorting system is all-encompassing, Dan believes that these categories offer clarity and direction about what it looks like to engage marriages of all types. For an image laying out the quadrants Dan describes here, look for this episode on our blog at theallendercenter.org.2017-04-2222 minThe Allender Center PodcastGrieving the Death of a Parent, Part TwoThis week, Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, continue their discussion about the painful journey of grieving the death of a parent—a conversation sparked by their own experience of processing the death of Dan’s mother just a few weeks ago. Dan and Becky discuss the love, care, and support they have received from others in times of grief, inviting us to consider how we might be present in the lifes of friends or loved ones who endure significant loss.2017-04-1523 minThe Allender Center PodcastGrieving the Death of a Parent, Part OneThis week, Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, talk about the painful journey of grieving the death of a parent. This conversation was sparked by their own experiences of grief after Dan’s mother passed away just a few weeks ago. Dan and Becky reflect on the intersections between grief and honor, the beauty of close, trusted others inviting us to remembrance and forgiveness, and the ways in which even this experience can point us toward the goodness of God in the land of the living.2017-04-0821 minThe Allender Center PodcastSpiritual Warfare, Part ThreeThis week, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton, Assistant Director of Program Development & Admissions, continue our series about the realities of spiritual warfare by talking about the crucial intersections between spiritual warfare and the story work that we facilitate at The Allender Center. Through deep, meaningful engagement of our stories of harm, we prepare our hearts to grapple with spiritual warfare in a way that brings kindness, compassion, and, ultimately, the freedom that can only come from God.2017-03-2521 minThe Allender Center PodcastSpiritual Warfare, Part TwoThis week, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton, Assistant Director of Program Development & Admissions, continue our series about the realities of spiritual warfare. This is a big, complex topic, so in this episode we take a look at some of the triggers and resistance people might feel when they hear the term “spiritual warfare.” While there are valid issues and questions to consider, we believe this category is crucial to the work we do here at The Allender Center and the ongoing work of restoration.2017-03-1823 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Grief of Miscarriage, Part FourThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues his conversation with Jeanette White, Program Director at The Allender Center, about grief and loss in the wake of miscarriages and infertility. Dan and Jeanette are joined again by their partners, Becky Allender and Campbell White, to talk about how they have learned and grown in the years since these experiences. What we find is that, even decades and decades later, it is never too late to process our stories in the hope of healing. This is a vital and vulnerable conversation, and we are so grateful to Jeanette, Campbell, and Becky for...2017-02-1823 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Grief of Miscarriage, Part ThreeThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues the conversation with Jeanette White, Program Director here at The Allender Center, about the devastating grief and loss that comes with miscarriages and infertility. Dan and Jeanette are joined by their partners, Becky Allender and Campbell White, to talk about the pain of shared heartache in marriage. This is a vital and vulnerable conversation, and we are so grateful to Jeanette, Campbell, and Becky for joining Dan to share their experiences with all of us.2017-02-1123 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Grief of Miscarriage, Part TwoThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues a conversation with Jeanette White, Program Director here at The Allender Center, about the realities of grief and loss, particularly in the context of the devastation of miscarriages and infertility. Jeanette vulnerably shares about her war with hope and desire in the midst of such tremendous pain.2017-02-0422 minThe Allender Center PodcastThe Grief of Miscarriage, Part OneThis week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by Jeanette White, Program Director here at The Allender Center to talk about the realities of grief and loss, particularly in the context of the devastation of miscarriages and infertility. Jeanette shares bravely and vulnerably from her own experiences with miscarriage, and she and Dan launch a conversation that we plan to continue over the next few weeks.2017-01-2821 minThe Allender Center PodcastAdvent, Part 4: CelebratingThis week, Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, conclude our Advent series by reflecting on the act of celebration. How does anticipating the coming of Jesus equip us to celebrate the scandalous nature of Christmas with deep, life-changing joy? And from all of us at The Allender Center and The Seattle School, a very merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.2016-12-2423 minThe Allender Center PodcastGratitudeThis week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by his wife, Becky Allender, to reflect on their experience of Thanksgiving and explore the nature of gratitude. Dan and Becky identify the comparison, entitlement, and envy that kill gratitude, inviting all of us to a posture of thankfulness that acknowledges our dependence on and love for each other.2016-11-2622 minThe Allender Center PodcastCelebrating 100 EpisodesLast week marked our 100th episode, so this week we’re taking a moment to look back, reflect, and celebrate. Dr. Dan Allender talks about how this podcast has evolved, some of his favorite parts of working on it, and where he hopes to go in the next 100 episodes. From all of us at The Allender Center, thank you for listening and for joining us on this journey.2016-10-2221 minThe Allender Center PodcastWhat a Therapist Looks for in a Client, Part TwoThis week, Dr. Dan Allender continues our series about what a therapist looks for in a client. Dan reflects on the categories of openness, trust, and the willingness to remain in the work of therapy even when it is messy and difficult. Though we will never find the perfect therapist or the perfect client, Dan says there are few things sweeter or holier than two people willing to engage therapy with curiosity, humility, and integrity.2016-10-1522 minThe Allender Center PodcastHow to Pick a Therapist, Part TwoThis week, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by Rachael Clinton, Assistant Director of Program Development and Admissions for The Allender Center, as we continue a series about one of the most common questions we receive: What should I look for when I am picking a therapist? Rachael shares from her own recent experience of stepping back into therapy, and she and Dan reflect on what to look for and how to take those first steps.2016-10-0122 minThe Allender Center PodcastHow to Pick a Therapist, Part OneThis week, Dr. Dan Allender wrestles with one of the most common questions we receive at The Allender Center: What should I look for when I am picking a therapist? Dan offers several categories for us to consider as we seek someone to join us in the deep places of heartache and hope in our stories.2016-09-2422 minThe Allender Center PodcastHealing the Wounded Heart: A New OfferingThis week, Dr. Dan Allender shares all about our first online course, Healing the Wounded Heart, coming later this fall, a series of nine dynamic sessions offering teaching by Dan, interviews with individuals engaging their stories of past harm, journaling prompts, and more. Dan talks about the heart behind this new offering, who it’s intended for, and how we hope it will serve as a companion on the journey to restoration.2016-09-1722 minThe Allender Center PodcastAuthenticity and Humility: The Binds of Leadership, Part 3This week, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton conclude the Binds of Leadership series by talking about the need for authenticity and humility in leadership. Authenticity has become a buzzword in our culture, but it is crucial to an understanding of leadership that allows us to be imperfect human beings committed to the process of growth. Rachael is a pastor, teacher, therapeutic practitioner, and member of the Allender Center Teaching Staff.2016-07-0221 minThe Allender Center PodcastHope and Envy: The Binds of Leadership, Part 2This week, Dan Allender continues a conversation with Rachael Clinton about the binds faced by many pastors and Christian leaders, who are expected to live without any complexities or flaws. Rachael is a pastor, teacher, therapeutic practitioner, and member of the Allender Center Teaching Staff. She and Dan discuss the ways in which we place our leaders on pedestals, only to feel a sense of relief when they fall off, a bind that leads us to consider the nature of hope, envy, the brokenness in our stories, and the coming fullness of the kingdom of God.2016-06-2521 min
The Allender Center PodcastThe Binds of Leadership: A Conversation with Rachael ClintonThis week, Dan Allender is joined by Rachael Clinton for a conversation about the binds faced by many pastors and Christian leaders, who are expected to live without any complexities or flaws. Rachael is a pastor, teacher, therapeutic practitioner, and member of the Allender Center Teaching Staff. Together, she and Dan invite us to consider what it might look like to live as an honest, authentic, human-sized leader.2016-06-1822 min
The Allender Center PodcastJoin the Work of Multiplying TransformationThis week, Dan Allender invites you to consider joining the work of transforming lives and communities by giving to The Allender Center and The Seattle School. Dan invites us to consider that receiving a meaningful gift with gratitude always leads to the invitation to give.2016-06-1122 minThe Allender Center PodcastWisdom in RelationshipsYou’re listening to The Allender Center Podcast with Dr. Dan Allender. This week Dan concludes a series about the nature of wisdom by discussing how we might wisely engage conflict and difficult binds in relationships. Dan invites us to consider that a life of wisdom is not marked by conflict avoidance, but rather by the willingness to engage difficult binds in a way that leads to deeper goodness for ourselves and others.2016-05-1621 minThe Allender Center PodcastDan Allender and Tremper Longman on the Nature of Friendship, Part TwoThis week, Dan continues the conversation with his long-time friend, Dr. Tremper Longman. Dan and Tremper share about how their friendship and collaboration have expanded the work that they each do individually, inviting both of them to new opportunities and new encounters with the goodness of God. And they invite us to consider how our own friendships might lead us into deeper engagement with God’s ongoing work in the world.2016-04-0222 minThe Allender Center PodcastDan Allender and Tremper Longman on the Nature of Friendship, Part OneThis week, Dan is joined by his long-time friend, Dr. Tremper Longman, in a conversation about ping-pong, college, and the nature of friendship. Dan and Tremper invite us to consider how our friendships might draw us into deeper and more life-giving participation in the kingdom of God.2016-03-2623 minThe Allender Center PodcastHealing the Wounded Heart, Part ThreeThis week, Dan Allender continues reflecting on his upcoming book, Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation. In Part One of this series, Dan shared about the stance he hopes readers will take when approaching the new book, which is a 25-year retrospective about everything he has learned working with sexually abused men and women. In Part Two, Dan addressed the intent of evil to create orphans, widows, and strangers through the harm we have endured. Now, Dan addresses the Healing the Wounded Heart workbook and his belief that deep, lasting change...2016-02-2718 minThe Allender Center PodcastHealing the Wounded Heart, Part TwoThis week, Dan Allender continues reflecting on his upcoming book, Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation. The new book is a 25-year retrospective about everything Dan has learned working with sexually abused men and women since publishing his first book, The Wounded Heart. In last week’s podcast, Dan talked about the openness and honor with which he hopes readers will approach Healing the Wounded Heart. This week, he reflects on evil’s intent to turn us into orphans, widows, and strangers through the harm that we have endured.2016-02-2221 minThe Allender Center PodcastRestoration of the Heart, Part OneOn this week’s podcast, Dan Allender sits down with his good friend, John Eldredge, to reflect on the themes behind the Restoration of the Heart conference, a joint venture from The Allender Center and Ransomed Heart. Restoration of the Heart, March 4-5 in Colorado Springs, will engage the questions and challenges that emerge when we dare to believe that true healing and restoration are possible for even our deepest wounds.2016-01-3020 minThe Allender Center PodcastGrandparentingLast week on The Allender Center Podcast, we shared a conversation with Dan Allender and his daughter, Amanda, and son-in-law, Jeff, as they welcomed their newborn daughter. (Listen here: Grace Is in the World.) This week, Dan and his wife, Becky Allender, reflect on the glory of a new life in the world and the experience of becoming grandparents again.2015-11-2824 min