Shows
FreedHeartsIs God Really Alfred Hitchcock??Let’s talk about God! Our favorite subject… Or is it?? It would be—or could be—if we hadn’t been lied to about God. Well, our job at FreedHearts is to make you feel better about God — or have no feelings about God, that’s fine. But what we DON’T want is for you to have bad feelings about God because they’re usually connected to bad feelings about yourself – and none of that is true! Today we tell you a story as a contrast to God—about Alfred Hitchcock. Hitc...
2025-10-2927 minFreedHeartsIs National Coming Out Day Different This Year?Today’s episode is both deeply personal and powerfully relevant to the moment we’re living in.We’re talking about coming out — as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer — in a time when hostility and attacks are escalating. This isn’t just theory — it’s raw, real, and urgent.All of this in honor of National Coming Out Day on October 11th! Plus, we’re sharing a major announcement about a bold new chapter for FreedHearts — one we can’t wait for you to hear.This conversation is about c...
2025-10-0823 minFreedHeartsDon’t You Dare Deny the Beauty of Being Transgender!Today, we continue to focus on the transgender community with an encore broadcast of a very popular FreedHearts Podcast episode from January 2022. Our trans children, family members and friends are beautiful. And beloved. Living their authentic lives.Oh my goodness, that is an amazing truth. Amazing stories. Amazing beauty. False teachings, binary thinking, denial can cause us to miss it all – and cause great harm to those we love.With all that has been going on, it is the perfect time for this episode. “Don’t Deny t...
2025-04-2334 minFreedHeartsHealing with the Arts!With all this talk about the teaching of contempt and religion, we thought it was time for a little relief: a little ART relief!When I had cancer five years ago, part of the available treatment was a studio program where we created art. They kept saying, “It’s about the process, not the product.” I can hardly even express the joy this has opened up in me.I was amazed to learn that people who participate in the arts – art, music, dance, whatever it is for you – lower thei...
2024-08-2835 min
Shift HappensSusan Cottrell: Freedhearts PodcastSusan Cottrell is an international speaker whose TEDx talk has 1.6 million views. OutSmart magazine called her “The Mother of All MamaBears.” The Advocate dubbed her “our favorite affirming matriarch.” She is a prominent voice for the LGBTQ community, a public theologian and through her nonprofit organization—FreedHearts—Susan expresses her authentic love for the LGBTQ+ community and families; and she sees love as the healing foundation of family, faith, and community. She spent 20+ years in the nonaffirming Evangelical church, has a Master of Arts in Theological Studies, and served as the Vice-President of PFLAG Austin. Her FreedHearts podcast, Blog and YouTube...
2023-08-3052 min
Another Exvangelical PodcastFreedhearts - Susan CottrellSusan is an alum of the seminary I am currently at and I interviewed her as I was deciding if going to school later in life was for me. This interview was kind of a full-circle experience for me. Susan is an amazing person with and a wonderful mothering heart, she and her husband Rob have an organization called Freedhearts. “Founded in 2013, FreedHearts reaches into hurting communities with a message of love, inclusion, belonging, and hope — for parents, LGBTQ+, educators, therapists, and the church. We help people deconstruct their faith to free their heart to love and be love...
2023-05-251h 00FreedHeartsA Drag Queen Preacher!? Oh yes! :)Drag queens seem to be in the news with Drag Queen Storytimes! You hear people promoting false fear and lies about kids in danger. But you also hear other people pointing out how kids are likely safer with a drag queen than with many religious leaders! Yeah, truth.Today we are going to talk about someone very special. Someone whose life and impact challenge many in the church, and reach a growing number of outliers and outcasts. We are going to introduce you to The Drag Queen Preacher: Ms. Penny Cost. Yo...
2023-02-0812 minFreedHeartsThe Word 'Homosexual' Was NEVER in the Bible!Today, we are going to talk about one word… “homosexual.” And how it was never in the Bible. Nope, NEVER!A handful of verses in the Bible have been falsely taught and used to propagate modern homophobia and transphobia. But, guess what? The words homosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender were never actually in the Bible!That all changed in 1946 when an American Bible company mistranslated two ancient Greek words. And this mistake became the foundation of the anti-LGBTQ+ culture that still exists today!Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMA...
2023-02-0119 minFreedHeartsWhere Does Feeling Miserable Come From?Beloved, are you tired of feeling miserable?Where does misery even come from? What leads to it? The answer may surprise you!Let’s talk about that, so we can do something about it. Because, Beloved, you deserve to be happy, content, joyful and loved. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2023-01-2522 minFreedHeartsChurch, what the hell did you expect me to do?We deconstruct dangerous religious beliefs and false teachings that steal your life, and steal your joy. In this episode, we look at how different the reality of the actions and core beliefs of the non-affirming, behavior-focused, rules-based part of the Christian church is from what we heard from them – from what they told us Jesus wanted us to do.We listened, we heard, we did what they said and look what happened?? They turned on us. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd...
2023-01-1827 minFreedHearts10 Things to STOP Doing. It Could Change Everything!We are not big fans of New Year’s Resolutions as they are often things you promise to do and then when it does not work out that way, there is a lot of guilt and shame. And we certainly don’t deserve that. In this episode, we want to do something a little different. Something very special. We want to share with you 10 things that you can STOP doing! And these may be things that could change everything… your heart, how you feel about yourself, how you feel about others.
2022-12-1428 minFreedHeartsIs My Opinion Invalid Because My Child is LGBTQ+??We have been told by Christians that our opinion on LGBTQ+ people is invalid—that our opinion is invalid because we have two children who are part of that community, and of course, we would just change our opinion to justify them.No! Let me tell you something. Since our two kids came out, we have pondered, prayed, pressed for answers. We have sought, studied, searched for God. We listened and asked and listened some more. And through it all we heard that still small voice, expressing truth and love and transcendent peace.
2022-12-0718 minFreedHeartsWhat People Say When You Start Deconstructing!Toxic Christianity has resulted in so much harm, so much pain. It is based in a behavior-focus, rules-based, nonaffirming religion that puts God in a box and justifies rejection, condemnation, and the suffering it imposes. This teaching is given in such a controlling, cult-like way, with manipulation, threats, gaslighting, that it can be difficult to get out of. That is why we do this work. To help you deconstruct those false beliefs, so you can build a beautiful spiritual journey. When you start to deconstruct your faith, when you open the box that re...
2022-11-3029 minFreedHeartsYou Can’t Stop Me Lovin' Myself!We have talked about one of the biggest lies you will ever hear in church: That you are broken, unworthy. And we talked about self-love being one of our biggest sources of resilience. But, much of religious teaching tries to tell you that self-love is a false teaching. Wrong! Self-love is so powerful, so critical to everything in life, and the lack of self-love is so dangerous and deadly. In this important episode, we go deeper so we can understand this more, and love ourselves more with joy and f...
2022-11-1633 minFreedHeartsOne of the Biggest Lies You Will Ever Hear in ChurchWe’ve talked about the teaching of contempt as one of the deadliest teachings in all humanity. Another deadly teaching, and one of the biggest lies you will ever in church, is that you are broken. That you are not worthy, that you need fixed, that you need saved. This false, deadly narrative has led to so much harm! Part of that is the attempt to make self-love a bad thing, even go so far as to claim that the focus on self-love is a cult! But, in...
2022-11-0234 minFreedHeartsHurting & Hope: A Letter from a Transgender FriendToday, we share a letter we received from a beautiful soul – a transgender woman who found hope in the midst of deep pain. We have called this space, our time together the FreedHearts Deconstruction Zone. Our goals are to help you deconstruct false, damaging beliefs that are often deeply ingrained. We want to bring clarity in the midst of confusion, to bring freedom instead of fear, and bring hope to your heart. That is what we do. That is what this episode is all about.
2022-10-2628 minFreedHeartsReligious Liberties Are Not Even Biblical!Recent and possible upcoming Supreme Court rulings, battles in conservative states over books and transgender human rights – and remembering back to a clerk in Kentucky, a baker in Colorado, a florist in Washington... All of these, in one way or another – sometimes direct, sometimes indirect – are all discriminating against LGBTQ+ people, women, children, people of color, and many others, all in the name of 'religious liberty.' It is indefensible to just add God to it, and expect to get away with all this hate and harm. Well, we are doing this episode because...
2022-10-1918 minFreedHeartsFor Dads of LGBTQ+ Children – A Very Special Episode Just Rob today… talking to Dads. But this is good for all parents, for LGBTQ+ kids, for allies. It helps us all better understand and support. So, Dads…Your child is gay. Your love for your child seems to somehow conflict with your faith - at least according to what you may hear from Christian friends.Like it or not, you are on the first steps of a journey. What do you do? What kind of Dad will you be?Being gay is not a choice. Whether or not you uncon...
2022-10-1215 minFreedHeartsWhen Your Child Condemns You For Being GayWe often talk about parents who accept their LGBTQ+ kids, and about parents who don’t.Today, we flip the script and talk about children who condemn their LGBTQ+ parents, and how to respond to that. Maybe this is for you, maybe for someone you love.Let’s talk about how we can best protect our hearts against what can feel like a relentless, intimate attack, and how we can respond to these common arguments. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you...
2022-10-0528 minFreedHeartsWhen an Affirming Parent Defends Their LGBTQ+ ChildIn this episode, we talk about how affirming parents respond! When they are a child’s advocate and ally, a child’s defender and protector – to family members, sometimes very close family members, and friends, who are NOT affirming. Not accepting. Way too often openly anti-gay and cruel.We want to share a letter a mom wrote on behalf of her transgender daughter. It is beautiful.Sometimes we stand behind our LGBTQ+ kids in support. Sometimes alongside them in solidarity. And sometimes we stand in front of them to take the arrows coming...
2022-09-2821 minFreedHeartsHave You Had It With Church?How are you doing? Are you a bit discouraged? Disillusioned? For those of you with a faith background, those of you deconstructing… How are you doing with your faith overall, spiritually, with church even as a concept? Have you had it with church? Don’t really know what do to with what you’re feeling? Yeah, I hear you. This is the perfect episode for you. Let’s talk. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-09-1432 minFreedHeartsOne of the Deadliest Teachings in All of HumanityToday we’re doing something very special. We’re going to revisit the most popular episode we have ever done! It was first broadcast in October 2020. But now, two years later, it’s even more important than ever. It’s about one of the deadliest teachings in all of humanity. In all of human history.And, unfortunately, it’s a teaching that seems to have become normal today.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support
2022-09-0728 minFreedHearts5 Ways Parents Can Avoid Gender Stereotypes for KidsThere are lots of issues in the news about gender, and about transgender children.We talk a lot about the binary teachings on gender and sexuality that are so prevalent in the patriarchal, nonaffirming church. These false teachings have led to so much harm to marginalized people. So much hate masked by false teachings. We are NOT going to let hate win, and part of that is helping free our hearts from all the junk we have heard for so long. Deconstructing those false teachings and harmful beliefs....
2022-08-3124 minFreedHeartsWhat Do We Do With All This Divisiveness?We’ve all seen the increasing divisiveness in our culture over every little thing! It’s funny, they used to make jokes about how a church can split over the color of the carpet! Well, now that religion and politics seem so entwined, these private divisions have spread into the general public, and we continue to divide over Every. Single. Thing. A mom brought us a verse she saw a religious leader use—Luke 12:51—that talks about how we are not here to be "politically correct" or cater to society, but to follow God’s teaching.Thi...
2022-08-2428 minFreedHeartsWhen People Don’t Even See The Damage They DoWe hear it every day… horror stories from LGBTQ+ people, and other outliers, about how they have been mistreated by families, so-called friends, community… their lives have been ruined. And the people, the churches, who have done this just explain it away, ignore it. Frustrating. Infuriating. People are so easily ruining lives. In this episode, we talk about a Mom who is so blinded that not only does she not see the damage she has done with her beliefs, she thinks that WE are the ones who ruined her relationship with her son!
2022-08-1726 minFreedHeartsSimply Put: The Bible Does NOT Condemn Homosexuality!Actually, it is NOT complicated, or confusing, or nuanced. It is simple. The Bible IS clear: There is NO condemnation against people who are LGBTQ+ or against same-sex relationships.You are NOT the ones who need to defend your beliefs. The non-affirming church is! They ignore the truth of Scripture, and they ignore the devastating, deadly impact of their false teachings. In this episode, we are going to give you a clear, simple explanation of why the Bible does NOT condemnation homosexuality. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL AD...
2022-08-1037 minFreedHeartsShould We Be Scared to Deconstruct Our Faith?Deconstructing faith means tearing down ingrained, false, damaging, nonaffirming beliefs, and replacing them with empowering, inclusive, affirming beliefs. This leads to a deeper faith, being more in love with Spirit, and being more aligned with the simplicity and love of Jesus!It helps us be more free. And who doesn’t want you to be free?? People who want to control you! And they are trying to convince you that deconstruction is a bad thing. It’s not! You do not need to be scared of deconstruction.Faith should be about questions we can...
2022-08-0329 minFreedHeartsWhat Do We Do With Harry Potter?!?The author of Harry Potter has lost her freaking mind on her indefensible attacks on our transgender community. So why are we talking about Harry Potter? Because: just to push away Harry Potter and all that it’s meant to us—even as we rightly push away its author—may not be the best option for us. We don't have to let her steal this from us. The stories are ours!We’re here to help navigate new possibilities for our relationship to Harry Potter, that has meant so much to so many—...
2022-06-1537 minFreedHeartsHonoring Our Bodies. Honoring Our Truth.In this powerful episode, we are going to go deep on the idea of honoring yourself. I hear from people all the time who doubt who they are—who aren’t sure if it’s okay to be who they are! They look in the mirror, they ask people around them, they read scriptures, they ask God, and they never find peace because even when they hear a YES, YOU’RE GOOD! they don’t believe it! Beloved, the Spirit will lead us in all truth. Our hearts are good. We can listen to and trus...
2022-06-0826 minFreedHeartsAre We More Codependent Than We Think?A phrase we hear a lot is codependence. Many of us are probably in a codependent relationship – which is not healthy – not the ideal – and we don’t even know what that looks like. What that means. Codependence can be a slippery term, and it can be tough to define.Today we talk about if we more codependent than we think, and how we can set ourselves, our hearts free. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Supp...
2022-05-2530 minFreedHeartsAre We Normalizing the Absurd?!?There’ve always been absurd ideas, and those who believe absurd ideas. And no amount of counterevidence will make any difference. ‘Absurd’ comes from the word for out of tune, dull, irrational. Religion, political groups, subcultures, continue to maintain and endorse many absurd ideas. So much so, that they have become normal! So, let’s take a look at a few. This is going to be fun!Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-05-1816 minFreedHeartsWhat the Intersex Community Wishes You Knew!Have you heard the term intersex? Do you know what it means? You might, or maybe you are not sure.Have you met an intersex person? You probably have and you didn’t even know it. For all of us, it’s time to be quiet and listen, It’s time to learn.In this special episode, we want to give up the mic so-to-speak, and share with you the stories and insights of intersex people about everything from common misconceptions to what they wish you knew.Send us a private messag...
2022-05-1119 minFreedHeartsWhat Does God REALLY Think of Me?Ever wonder what God REALLY thinks of your LGBTQ+ child, friend or family member... or what God really thinks of YOU??We want to address the ultimate question today. The big one. Often we are so scared of the answer, we don’t even want to go there. But hear me now… you have NOTHING to be afraid of. Nothing! Beloved, You really need to hear and take in the answer to the question: “What Does God Really Think of Me?”Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOU...
2022-05-0420 minFreedHeartsHow Can We Tell If a Relationship is Safe?When someone comes out – it often changes everything in relationships. Sometimes for the better as they get deeper, richer, more authentic, more inclusive and accepting. But sometimes not, and these relationships - parent-child, friends, family – that we considered a given – may now seem unsure and shaky. And at times, they are unsafe. But how do we know? How can we tell if a relationship is safe??Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-04-2021 minFreedHeartsHow Religion is Like the IRS!How do you think people feel about the IRS? I can tell you the answer: People don’t love the IRS. It’s intimating—it wields unrestrained power, and you have no recourse—it’s virtually impossible to fight back. Let’s be honest, a lot of us have the same experience with religion. Hurt so badly by manipulative false teaching given with unrestrained power, and then told it’s just the way it is. We feel like we have no recourse, like we can’t fight back. But beloved, we can! You can! Let...
2022-04-1340 minFreedHeartsCan I Make Myself Happy AND Others??Sometimes we feel like if we take care of ourselves, focus on ourselves, love ourselves – it means that we are NOT doing that for others. Wrong!But, we often feel guilty for taking care of ourselves. So we don’t! It can even make us resent serving others, especially compared to false expectations placed on us.So, we want to talk today about if we can please ourselves AND please others.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-04-0619 minFreedHeartsWe Answer the Pastor’s “Unanswerable” Trick Questions!Every day via email, social media, comments we get questions from non-affirming Christians that are supposed to stop us in our tracks. Stump us. Be unanswerable. Recently, someone shared two questions from their pastor. Did they stump us? Nah. Are they unanswerable? Nope. Does this sounds familiar?? Religious leaders approached Jesus with questions they thought would undo all his teaching – but what it really did was reveal their heart and focus. Let’s do this!Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) ...
2022-03-3022 minFreedHeartsWhat Do We Do About Church??Many of you came out of the church - out of nonaffirming religion. The evangelical church, denominations. And many of you are now deconstructing your faith. Discovering what the Bible does and does not say about a lot of things including LGBTQ. God has gotten bigger. The universe, spirit has gotten more personal. It is beautiful! As we have said: When we open the box we have God in, all heaven breaks loose. But now what? Especially… What do we do about church??Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd...
2022-03-2324 minFreedHeartsWhen Parents Disagree About Their LGBTQ+ ChildWhat do you do when you and your spouse disagree about your LGBTQ+ child? This is such a tough situation because the issues that divide are often deeply-held beliefs. You know the ones.I am pretty sure it has cost you relationships – but what happens the relationship at stake is your marriage? Big, difficult, scary. Yeah.A special, important episode. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-03-0933 minFreedHeartsChanging the Minds of NonAffirming ChristiansWhat does and does not work when talking to non-affirming evangelical Christians? It can certainly be tough and frustrating. We are dealing with patriarchal, moral-majority driven false teaching. All taught with God’s name attached to it – and grave consequences if you don’t just fall in line. But we, like a growing number of people, were surprised when we opened that box we had God in. In this episode, we will talk about how we can change the hearts and minds of non-affirming Christians. Send us a private message. *Note...
2022-03-0237 minFreedHeartsAnswers to Three Big Tough QuestionsWe visit the FreedHearts Inbox and answer three tough questions that affirming people often wrestle with. We are gaslighted with these. Manipulated. But they are false at their very core and they DO have answers that bring us peace and clarity.In this episode, we talk about these three questions you have certainly heard and may have yourself… and we answer them!Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-02-2324 minFreedHeartsWhen an Apology is Not EnoughWe hear from so many people who have been deeply wounded by parents, by family, by friends, by those in the church who claim to speak with God’s voice. Deep wounds. Physical, spiritual, emotional. Sometimes there is an apology from the person who did the wounding, but sometimes that is just not enough. Does an apology mean we have to reconcile?? Absolutely not! We’re often made to feel guilty—but we know that sometimes, an apology is just not enough.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if...
2022-02-1623 minFreedHeartsWhat is Effective Selfcare?Selfcare is so important, now more than ever. A listener wrote us about being triggered by something and going into a full blown panic attack. Scary. Things like that, and even the rapid pace of deconstruction, can cause a lot of stress. And we often forget to take care of ourselves. So, in this episode, we want to talk about what effective selfcare looks like.Beloved, you deserve it! Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-02-0224 minFreedHeartsMy Transgender Child: A Mother's StoryIn this very special episode, we’re going to share something that came from the mom of a transgender daughter. (With her permission, of course.) She wrote it to share with her pastor, with anyone, who is trying to sort out transgender, gender nonconforming, nonbinary—trying to understand what that community, and their families, go through.This is an incredibly powerful story. It is beautifully written and conveys so well the heart of what it is to parent a transgender child.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAI...
2022-01-2620 minFreedHeartsDon’t Deny the Beauty of Being TransgenderOur transgender children and family members and friends are beautiful. And beloved. Living their authentic lives.What an amazing truth. Amazing stories. Amazing beauty. False teachings, binary thinking, denial can cause us to miss it all – and cause great harm to those we love. Don’t deny the beauty of being transgender! Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-01-1930 minFreedHeartsHow the Bible AFFIRMS Trans & Nonbinary PeopleSome Christians mistakenly suggest that if you take the Bible seriously, you must stand against the existence – as well as the health and even humanity of transgender people.Actually, the OPPOSITE is true!In this episode, we are going to talk about how the Bible AFFIRMS transgender and gender non-conforming people. And, how misinterpretations and binary thinking cause people to follow harmful false teachings.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-01-1241 minFreedHeartsWhat is a Cult, and Have We Been Part of One??In this episode, we are going to get a little crazy and talk about cults! :-)Big word. Scary word. But maybe a little closer to our lives, a little closer to home than we think.So, what makes something a cult? We give you 25 attributes of a cult. You may be surprised, and some may be a little too familiar.Let’s talk. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2022-01-0522 minFreedHeartsIs This Still My Family??So, how are you doing? Any family issues?? We have some... we have family holding events, celebrating and we were not invited. We have celebrations with part of our chosen family.When family is at odds over core beliefs and major heart issues, it can certainly get tricky. So, we thought it might be an ideal time to ask… What in the world IS family anymore. And… Is this even still my family???Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Suppor...
2021-12-1522 minFreedHearts7 Reasons Christians Should be Afraid NOT to Affirm LGBTQ+“What if you’re wrong?” People ask us this all the time, and then usually follow up with “Aren’t you afraid of leading people astray?” This seems to be the underlying fear for so many Christians.We have addressed this on an individual level but, today, we want to talk to the church!It has so consumed the Church, with this fear being spoonfed to people for decades, it hardly thinks to turn the question around on itself.So we are asking: Well, Church, what if YOU’RE wrong?...
2021-12-0826 minFreedHeartsChristian Guilt Below the BeltAhhh, the joys of Christian guilt. (sigh)In this episode we talk about how this guilt deeply impacts those in the LGBTQ+ community. Specifically how false teachings and manipulation have been systemically used to cause people to hate who they are.Let’s talk about Christian guilt below the belt. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-12-0132 minFreedHeartsAre Religious Liberties UnBiblical?In their ongoing pursuit of "religious freedom," people step over the bodies of LGBTQ+ youth literally stranded on the street! They turn a blind eye to horrible injustice all around them. Why?? In order to maintain their ideal of pretending they are fighting 'sin.' And pretending that they live a righteous life. We're calling BS on this being about religious liberty. Really, it’s just personal preference. And we want to be part of not letting them get away with it anymore.In this episode we talk about how religious liberties are ac...
2021-11-1726 minFreedHeartsChristian Gaslighting Against LGBTQ+Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control, where victims are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity! So, how does this show up towards those in the LGBTQ+ community?An important episode.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-11-1030 minFreedHeartsYour Questions from the FreedHearts Inbox!In this episode, we pay another visit to the FreedHearts Podcast Inbox!We answer questions from our listeners like… “How can someone be transgender when God doesn’t make mistakes?” “Why do you say the LGBTQ issue is a dealbreaker in church?” “If I deconstruct my faith, can I still keep some things I believe in?” “Can I love and follow Jesus and not be a Christian?” and “Why do you have to be so irreverent?” Wait, what?? Are we? Yeah, well… maybe a little. But, actually, that's okay. :-) Let’s talk about all of this. Send us a private mes...
2021-11-0333 minFreedHeartsA Love Letter to My Non-Affirming Christian Friend“A Love Letter to My Non-Affirming Christian Friend” This is a very special episode.It is specifically meant to be shared with anyone who is not fully accepting and affirming their lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender child or loved one.It is an honest, but loving letter from our heart to yours.
2021-10-2707 minFreedHeartsDo You Hesitate Calling Yourself Christian? The UnChristlike Christian ChurchHomophobia in the church is so overt, so common, that if you say, "I’m a Christian." – you have to quickly add “But I affirm LGBTQ!” because it’s just assumed you’re homophobic! What happened?? How do people still in the nonaffirming church not see it? How did the Christian church become so unlike Christ, and why is Jesus the biggest threat to Christianity?Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-10-1331 minFreedHeartsA Christian Gut-Check! Are You Doing What Jesus Said?When you look at non-affirming Christians, and you look at Jesus, they often seem as far apart as they could get. There are so many things that many Christians are doing and believing that are so unlike the Jesus they claim to follow. But they slap Jesus’ name on it like a stamp of approval. Honestly, Jesus has to be shaking his head saying, "Oh my gosh! Please—stop!" So what are those differences? It’s time for a Christian gut-check!Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADD...
2021-10-0625 minFreedHeartsWhat if You’re Wrong about LGBTQ+? How to Know for Sure!“What if you're wrong about LGBTQ+?” I've been asked many times. And in this episode I will give you my answer. I am also asked, “How do you know for sure if you are right or wrong?” If you are out there and you are wondering… We have an easy test for you.Non-affirming people trample over others in a quest to be right. But, if you’re going to say you follow Jesus, you’d better be characterized by lavish, overriding love. And, if you’re not… what if YOU’RE wrong? Let’s talk about all of...
2021-09-2925 minFreedHeartsThe Dangers of Required CelibacyHave you heard this? “Okay, okay, you’re gay, but you just can’t act on it.”This is a common thing out there: “What about gays just not having sex?” Let’s be honest, this is a copout to make non-affirming Christians feel better – but it only adds to an LGBTQ person’s mental health load because it conveys a message that something is wrong, something is broken, less than ideal. It is cruel, unkind and unloving.There’s a lot to unpack here, so, let’s do this. Send us a private message...
2021-09-2231 minFreedHeartsConversion Therapy's Big Lie & Dangerous Secret!Conversion Therapy / the Ex-Gay Movement – the awful effort to try to get LGBTQ+ people to somehow not be gay anymore! You’ve heard of it, maybe you've experienced it. Today we are going to talk about two things: First… the big lie – the fraud – the scam – the false message of conversation therapy. And second… the dangerous, dirty little secret they don't want you to know about. The secret that many people do not know about, but it is critical to understand. Conversion therapy is deadly and it’s time for the truth. Let’s do t...
2021-09-1527 minFreedHearts“Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin??“ We're Calling Bullsh*t!“Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin??“ We're Calling Bullsh*t!!"Love the sinner, hate the sin??" Wait, what?? It sure doesn't feel like love to those on the receiving end. You know why? It’s not! It’s homophobia disguised as love.Is it from the Bible or any religious text? Nope.In this episode, we are going to dive into this and set the record straight!Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-09-0831 minFreedHeartsSimone Biles, Mental Health, and Armchair CriticsCan we talk about Olympic Gymnast Simone Biles standing up for her mental health, and how this relates to people in the LGBTQ community? Let’s talk about self-care, self-advocacy, and being shredded by armchair critics who have lost their humanity.These people do not deserve a voice in your head, or any space in your beautiful heart.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-09-0131 minFreedHeartsHow Do We Deal With Abusive People?Today is a very powerful, important episode. We talk about how to deal with abusive people. How do we love people who are tough to love? Is a toxic relationship worth fighting for? Is it unloving to step away from abusive people?How can we get what we need? And so many of you are not getting what you need from your faith communities and even your families, which is really, really hard. We need love and encouragement, as we are for who we are. Unconditionally. It’s what you deserve. Really. And we...
2021-06-3032 minFreedHeartsThe Perils of Paul: Bondage or Freedom?Paul has been pulled from context, and misused to shame, reject, condemn and bring great harm to those in the LGBTQ+ community, and people who support them.In this episode we discuss whether Paul is about legalism, law and bondage? Or is he about love, life and freedom? Or does it all depend?We will take a closer look at the perils of Paul, and the particularly puzzling place of Paul as paramount… instead of...
2021-06-2338 minFreedHeartsBeing the Dad of an LGBTQ+ Child!Being the Dad of an LGBTQ Child! This is a very special episode for Dads of LGBTQ kids - or about your Dad, or about the Dad of someone you love. Today, I talk about the core issues unique to being the Father of an LGBTQ child. I’ll give some tools you can use to understand your kids, deepen your relationships, strengthen your faith, and deal with non-affirming friends, family and those at church. Dads, it’s just me and you today. Bring your fears, bring your hearts, and...
2021-06-1627 minFreedHeartsWhat About Anti-Gay Religious Leaders?What About Anti-Gay Religious Leaders? The Pope, evangelicals, denominations... What about anti-gay religious leaders? With such deeply-held beliefs and traditions, how do we respond? How do we free our hearts from the impact of these religious leaders, who come from flawed oppressive systems, speaking to us about moral issues? How can we change the influence they have in our lives?Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-06-0934 minFreedHeartsThe Deconstruction Journey: What About Sin?The Deconstruction Journey: What About Sin? Have you been told you are in sin? Called a sinner? When you question this – you are often immediately labeled a heretic or an apostate or maybe someone who was never really a Christian to begin with. All of that attack and defensiveness instead of just having an open conversation. But when you question these – when you open your box, all heaven breaks loose and you start to deconstruct your faith and reconstruct a spirituality that is deeper and richer and more satisfying.Se...
2021-06-0228 minFreedHeartsLove That Feels Like Love!Love That Feels Like Love!What does it mean to love? We’re told to love, and many people will treat others horribly and claim they are loving. Many of you have been on the receiving end of terrible treatment and then been told that they are loving you. You know what? That just does not work and today we are going to talk about how to recognize it and what to do. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Su...
2021-05-2624 minFreedHeartsDealing with Dysfunctional Family Rejection“Dealing with Dysfunctional Family Rejection”If you are part of the LGBTQ community - or an affirming parent - and you are experiencing rejection from family, we are so sorry. It has nothing to do with you. It reveals everything about them and nothing whatsoever about you. And you certainly don’t deserve it.In this episode, we talk about how you can respond to non-affirming, dysfunctional family. Important counsel on how to protect yourself and your heart. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd lik...
2021-05-1926 minFreedHeartsBroken Family: The Cost to Our LGBTQ+ KidsContinuing our conversation about broken family relationships, today we talk about what it is costing our LGBTQ kids. What is the cost when parents have broken with them? What does it cost your child when you withhold love or limit the relationship, simply because you are not okay, for whatever reason, with them being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender? Mom, Dad… they are paying a price much greater than we can ever imagine. Today, we talk about all of this and what we, as parents, can do.Send us a private messa...
2021-05-1232 minFreedHeartsBroken Family: The Cost to Us As ParentsThis is a very special episode for parents wanting to improve your relationship with your LGBTQ child. If you are not a parent, this would be a great episode to send TO your parents. :-) Mom & Dad, maybe you are struggling to understand your child. They may have told you they’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or other words that may not make sense to you. Your faith community is telling you to reject them, to not accept them as they are. And you know, in your heart, that something is just not right with that...
2021-05-0534 min
Deconstruct To CuriocityShe Chose Her LGBTQ Daughter Over Church - Freedhearts, Susan CottrellSUSAN COTTRELL is an international speaker whose TEDx talk has 1.5 million views. OutSmart magazine called her “The Mother of All MamaBears.” The Advocate dubbed her “our favorite affirming matriarch.” She is a prominent voice for the LGBTQ community and their faith parents who has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, Nightline and Good Morning America, on NBC News Out, and as a contributor on the Our Bible app. She is a public theologian and through her nonprofit organization—FreedHearts—Susan champions the LGBTQ community and families with her authentic love; and she challenges Christians to love as the foundation of faith. She spent 20+ years in t...
2021-05-0346 minFreedHeartsOur Keys to a Happy Relationship: 33 Years & CountingWe are very fortunate to have a unique relationship, and we think we have a lot to offer about on how to have a great relationship. But, we had to work to get here. We went through some hardships that threatened everything, but we were always committed to wholeness. We always sought love and healing, even when it was hard.Many of you have great relationships too. Many of you don’t. Today we want to share some of our keys and hope that is has something to offer to you, wherever you are.S...
2021-04-2839 minFreedHeartsLet’s Talk Sex! Patriarchy, Misogyny & the ChurchOkay, let’s talk about sex! Did you know that term “unnatural sex” that we read about in the Bible is any sex that's not procreative?! One theme emerged that shifted our view of the nonaffirming church and drove our deconstruction. That theme is the motivation to protect the institution even as it diminishes and even destroys the people within. So today, we’ll look at patriarchy and misogyny, and how harmful and endemic they are.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer...
2021-04-2126 minFreedHeartsHow To Know if Your Church is Spiritually AbusiveAbuse is basically someone in power using, misusing those without power. Whether it’s emotional, spiritual, physical, or sexual. It’s someone with more power abusing someone with less power. Is your church spiritually abusive? Today, we give you ways to know for sure. To discover this can be troubling, depressing. But it is so beautifully freeing. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-04-1432 minFreedHeartsWhat Does it Really Mean to Deconstruct My Faith?What Does it Really Mean to Deconstruct My Faith?When you leave your previous understanding of your faith, it may feel as if you lost your entire identity because of how tightly you held those beliefs. In this episode, we talk about what it really means to deconstruct your faith. What affirms our deconstruction is realizing that God is in all the places we were told not to go. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-)
2021-04-0728 minFreedHeartsThe Enemy Within: Internalized QueerphobiaDo you wish you could get away from that internalized voice of disapproval and shame? This is one of the hardest issues to face for LGBTQ+ people on their path to acceptance, and for families and loved ones — especially those with a faith background. Today, we talk about the enemy within: internalized queerphobia. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-03-3128 minFreedHeartsFreedom from Fight or FlightWhat a time it is! I’ve had to pull myself back from living in a constant state of fight or flight. How about you? Fight or flight is meant to be a temporary state, a brilliant way to protect us from that proverbial tiger. But that should be a very small portion of our lives. If we find ourselves stuck in fight or flight - what’s the alternative? What is the ideal state look like?Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to ans...
2021-03-2428 minFreedHeartsTop 5 Questions from Parents of LGBTQ ChildrenThis episode is for parents of LGBTQ children; or LGBTQ people with parents; or those allies and friends who know parents. In other words, this is for you!In our work with tens of thousands of parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer children, there are 5 questions that almost always come up. Things they are concerned about; things they wonder and worry about. In this episode, we answer those questions! We help set hearts free to fully affirm and accept; to love and be loved. Send u...
2021-03-1729 minFreedHeartsIn a Deconstructing Faith, What About the Bible?It’s common in today’s non-affirming church teaching to talk about the Bible as “the inerrant, unchanged word of God,” meaning, if you even question what you’ve been taught about the Bible or what it says, you are labeled a heretic!But, as we have discovered on our own deconstruction journey, there are a lot of problems with that!In this episode, we talk about what to do with the Bible in the midst of a deconstructing faith.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answ...
2021-03-1028 minFreedHeartsChristian Myth Busters: My 7 Biggest ShockersI went to seminary as an evangelical. I had no idea it was going to hold so many surprises. Here are the top 7 shockers that change the entire game of Christianity. Knowing these will help us continue to unravel the hurtful, destructive teachings that, in truth, really have nothing to do with Jesus, God or the Bible. It was the beginning of the deconstruction of my faith, and the beginning of a much deeper, more beautiful, more satisfying faith and spirituality.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd li...
2021-03-0333 minFreedHeartsResponding to the Teaching of Contempt in Our Own LivesThe teaching of contempt, the teach of “us vs them,” has seeped into our culture and thinking. There’s no magic answer to fix it, and it has taken root in our lives, in society. So, what can we do? In this powerful episode, we discover how to recognize and deal with contempt in our lives - that we are receiving and that we are giving. This episode is about beginning to truly see ourselves and each other. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS i...
2021-02-2432 minFreedHeartsA Love Letter to the Past and Future You!If you could write a love letter to your past self - to little Susie Q or little Bobby - what would you say? And if you could write a love letter to your future self - in 10, 20, 30 years - what would you say?In this episode, we talk about the thread of love running through your life, what may be hindering that, and how we can free our hearts to love and be loved - as we deserve. The most important love you will give or receive is the love you give to, and re...
2021-02-1731 minFreedHeartsDon't Waste Time Explaining Yourself!How often do you find yourself responding to the same old questions and hurtful comments from non-affirming people?In this episode, we discuss why you should never waste your time, never waste your heart debating with, or explaining yourself to someone who is committed to misunderstanding you. It can be toxic!You don't deserve it, and we'll talk about how we can respond instead. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-02-1031 minFreedHeartsSusan's Story: Heart-Breaking Loss to Heart-Freeing LoveBy the time Susan turned 24, both her parents and three brothers had died! She had been relentlessly bullied; and was married and divorced.This personal, intimate episode is for those of us who have experienced pain and heart-breaking loss, and how to turn that into heart-freeing love.Susan opens up and shares her heart and her incredible story in this special episode. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2021-02-0337 minFreedHeartsJesus and the Church: What's the Difference??So much pain has been inflicted in the name of God. We have been deeply hurt, we get triggered and we want nothing to do with Jesus. But what has been used to hurt us has been absolute lies and is not really about God or Jesus!One of the worst things that ever happened to Jesus was the religion of Christianity, and non-affirming Christianity has largely gotten him wrong. Jesus is still one of the best-kept secrets because his truth has been grossly distorted by people who claim to speak for him.
2021-01-2738 minFreedHeartsLife Without Breasts: A Discussion of FemininityIn this beautiful, intimate episode, Susan talks openly about her decision to have her breasts and ovaries removed as part of her battle with cancer, and how it impacted her femininity. "I learned the power of loving my body. I learned how much I took my body for granted and how much more I wanted to love it. We have tied our femininity so much to our body -- our shape, our size, our sexiness -- a lot about how others see us. And it's so much more than that. It's about confidence, which really is self-love."...
2021-01-1335 minFreedHeartsA Christmas for the Rest of UsIn a beautiful, very special holiday episode, we share three stories - one from Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple; one from Sandra Cisneros; and a unique retelling of the Biblical story for us outliers, the rest of us. I hope these unwrap the way we see and celebrate this Christmas holiday season. It is about reconstructing Christmas in the midst of a deconstructing faith. Celebrating for the rest of us. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Supp...
2020-12-2327 minFreedHeartsFalse Teachings that Steal Our LoveWhy do parents struggle with loving their LGBTQ children? The false teachings and faulty arguments that lead parents to reject their LGBTQ children. Why do LGBTQ struggle with internalized homophobia, with loving themselves? The false teachings and faulty arguments that lead LGBTQ people to reject themselves. Important information; and a tender, powerful message on how to respond to those who use these false teachings to hurt us. An episode to help set your heart free!Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-)
2020-12-1633 minFreedHeartsAnswering Your Questions!Our first visit to the FreedHearts Podcast Inbox! In this special episode we answer questions we have received from our listeners. I am pretty sure you have heard them, or even asked them yourself!Questions about supporting an LGBTQ person who is in the middle of a very non-affirming environment; talking to anti-gay pastors and church leaders; the difference between a welcoming and a truly affirming church; microaggressions; when is it time to leave a church; dealing with internalized homophobia; and more. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL AD...
2020-12-0937 minFreedHeartsWhat happens when your faith starts to change?“My child is walking away from God!” “I know I don’t believe what I used to but I don’t know what I believe now!”“How can I believe in God at all anymore?”What happens when your faith starts to change? Deconstructing our faith is letting go of any part of whatever you believe that does NOT tell you that you are absolutely, unconditionally acceptance, included, loved and beloved.It can be scary and feel overwhelming. But it is one of the most beautiful things you will ever do.
2020-12-0225 minFreedHeartsHolidays or Helladays? When you can’t, or don’t want to go home.Have you been uninvited to a holiday or family gathering? Is that kind of event the last place you would want to be because of things that are said or just because of how you are made to feel? Let’s talk about how to navigate difficult family situations, and also about options for when you can’t, or don’t want to go home for the holidays. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2020-11-2529 minFreedHeartsInfuriating Family Fanatics! Love in the midst of hurt.How do we deal with infuriating family fanatics? When we are afraid, angry, and even hurt, how do we love people we don’t even like that much? What does that mean, and what does it not mean? Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2020-11-1833 minFreedHeartsA Love Letter... to Ourselves!What a time it has been! We have been through a lot, almost like going through a war together. Many of us are exhausted! And for a lot of you, all of this is in addition to the daily rejection and hurt we receive from family and friends - just because you are LGBTQ. Now is the perfect time for self care. Now is the perfect time for a love letter… to ourselves. Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Supp...
2020-11-1130 minFreedHeartsStressed? Afraid? Angry? Powerful & profoundly simple ways to help.Even the most optimistic people, this year is doing a number on us. It seems as if every day something else is happening – wildfires, floods, protests, politics, racial tension, and deaths and suffering on so many levels from COVID.Our emotional and mental health is fragile. We just can’t seem to get our footing. And it just keeps piling up.We are stressed, afraid, angry. The present is overwhelming and unbelievably painful and difficult for so so many. The future is uncertain. In this episode, we talk about how fear is impacting us, a...
2020-10-2924 minFreedHeartsIf it’s all we need, what IS love? And what is it NOT?There has been so much hurt justified “in the name of love.” We all think we’re loving, so why do so many people feel unloved? What is love, really? The answer may surprise you. We will give you the definition of love in 14 beautiful, powerful words.Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2020-10-2130 min
Have a Blessed GayEp. 24 Your Church or Your Child: FreedHearts with Susan CottrellWelcome to Have a Blessed Gay, your weekly spiritual-comedy podcast! Join holy host, Tyler Martin, as he critically discusses social norms, current events, mental health, religion, and spirituality from an outcast's perspective. In this touching episode, Tyler talks with Susan Cottrell, an international speaker, who you might know from her amazing TEDx Talk that went viral in 2019. Named “Our favorite affirming matriarch” by the Advocate, she is a prominent voice for the LGBTQ+ community. She has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, Nightline, and Good Morning America. She is a public theologian, and through her nonprofit organization, FreedHearts, Susan champions the LG...
2020-10-2050 minFreedHeartsOne of the deadliest teachings in all of humanity.In this episode, we talk about one of the two deadliest teachings in all of humanity. It is at the heart of our division. It is responsible for some of history’s most brutal treatment of ethnic groups, religious groups, women, LGBTQ; and it is rampant today. What is it and what can we do? Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2020-10-1428 minFreedHeartsFrom evangelical leaders to affirming parents & fierce advocates. The journey of deconstructing your faith.We have gone from being leaders in the evangelical church to fully affirming parents of two LGBTQ children, as well as fierce advocates and allies. Our faith evolved without asking our permission. What can you expect on a journey that asks you to deconstruct your faith? How does that impact our core beliefs and our community?Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2020-10-0732 minFreedHeartsSo it begins! Who we are & and why we’re doing a podcast.Our first daughter came out more than 10 years ago. We started FreedHearts in 2013 and have reached millions of parents and LGBTQ. After all this time, why a podcast and why now? Who are we, why we are doing a podcast, and who is this podcast for? Our focus is to change the human conversation on love and inclusion - so what does that mean? Send us a private message. *Note: INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS if you'd like us to answer. :-) Support the show
2020-09-2535 min
Coming Out PodEpisode 58: Susan Cottrell of FreedHeartsIn today's special episode, we speak with Susan Cottrell of FreedHearts, an incredible organization that helps parents (especially religious parents) embrace their LGBTQ+ children. Susan discusses choosing her daughter over her church, and offers invaluable tips on approaching parents who have not yet been able to do the same. She also talks about reframing faith in the most loving terms imaginable, and debunks the infamous Bible passages that are often used against the LGBTQ+ community.freedhearts.org
2019-07-241h 03