Shows
The Colonel RadioshowGaslightersWhat's behind the curtain? Rupert Murdoch, Alan Sugar, Buck Rogers, Rat pies and Foreskins2015-08-3043 minThe Colonel RadioshowBring Back MerciaLurking Left-wing Scrumpers, Cliff's humiliating first summer holiday, accidental cock squeezing, ripping down the wallpaper and finding hammers up the harris2015-06-1234 minThe Colonel RadioshowHollow Full Of Head / A Head Full Of HollowIn bed with Aleister Crowley... clacking clackers... leathery balls... stem cell testing on Dickie Davis...2015-04-1741 minThe Colonel RadioshowI Am Cuthbert!Dogs and dark forces... Westminster peadophiles... Pills, thrills and Leon Brittan's lapels2015-02-0153 minThe Colonel RadioshowCup Of Tea Mum / Touching The PeripheryHaggis mocking and Scottish Stockholm syndrome, Cameron's Savile Row sentinels... plus Ronnie and Reggie Kray discuss periphery touching2014-12-0946 minThe Colonel RadioshowThese Fings Take TimeBallooning with Stephen Fry, digging holes with Omar Sharif, showering with Nigel Farage, beheading with the Borgias and much, much more2014-10-2447 minThe Colonel RadioshowI'm Glad Im Not You dayPickled testicles, wastes of spaces, Holly Willoughby, exposed flesh, Andy Warhol, breakdancing and avoiding the madness2014-09-0149 minThe Colonel RadioshowFirst of the Gang to DieThe sartorial shortcomings of Hare Krishna. Taking a fence with Warwick Davis and Kenny Baker, going on about Star Wars and the Krays cutting up Eastenders2014-08-0348 minThe Colonel RadioshowDiggin in the dirt for spuds - East Meets West AgainThe Colonel and Sage return with Heather Mills' missing leg, Farage, Judo, sexual malformities, one finger techniques, kippers, the late Bob Hoskins and Moses2014-06-2247 minThe Colonel RadioshowBurn Your Credit card For FuelThe secret crimes of David Hasselhoff, health and safety tips for Neil Young, the shady history of David Cameron's ancestors and the Colonel's bladder problems2014-04-1241 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Genius of the CrowdThe Colonel, Sage and Ronnie return with the first new episode of 2014 - metaphoric kipper ties, Showaddywaddy, the true story of the Titanic and Sage's disreputable mother all on the table of discussion today2014-03-1639 minThe Colonel RadioshowWongalandThe Colonel, Sage and Ronnie mull over the issues of the day including Broadmoor games with Peter Sutcliffe, wrestling with Richard Harris and weapons of mass destruction2013-12-1539 minThe Colonel RadioshowElevenses, Wet Wallies and LobbyistsThe colonel and Sage discuss the working classes, leaky Tories, World War buggery and the insightful proclamations of the cook Jamie Oliver2013-11-2449 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Loon Goon-Paddy Power, Let Them Eat Smash!The Colonel and Sage return with the Loon Goon in the studio - an Irish revolutionary who witnessed Theresa May boiling immigrant children cackling with a salivating Eric Pickles sat at the table waiting for his din dins2013-10-2036 minThe Colonel RadioshowUsed Prophylactics in The Punch BowlFun and games with the Colonel and Sage2013-07-2937 minThe Colonel RadioshowRasta don't work for no CIABut uncle Thomas Does!2013-07-0742 minThe Colonel RadioshowSlip Em a Fiver And Ask Em To Do a FavourSlip Em a Fiver And Ask Em To Do a Favour2013-05-2135 minThe Colonel RadioshowWho Shot the Red Baron?The strange disappearance of the Colonel's wife, The Parker pen thermometer, The Red Baron and tight pockets2013-05-0636 minThe Colonel RadioshowWhistle Your Way To The top!Wow, the Colonel and Sage return, Scottish bottoms, David Icke and Wogan's elbows, burning Volkswagens, padeophile Priests and Roger Whittaker2013-04-2036 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Mud Men of the FjordsEtheral nature of existence, teddy boys, powdered milk, fish farming, mud men and also some spunk2013-03-1042 minThe Colonel RadioshowWho put the B.O. in BohemiaZionists, cockney mars bars, limericks and guess the smell with The King of the Bohemians - Iron Foot Jack2013-02-2441 minThe Colonel RadioshowMacabre MachinationsLonnie Donegan's baton, chocolatiering fat bastards, strange DIY, Litvinenko and the Scientologists, what happens under the arches in Vauxhall...2013-02-1041 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe World is an Elitist Swag BagGetting rid of prostitutes, necrophilia, Barack Obama, General Custer, Robbie Williams and much much more2012-12-1240 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Maiden Tribute of Modern Babylon!!New episode with the Colonel, Sage and the team... Turkish baths, Jimmy Savile Row, Thatcher's sweet shop and Nobby the fisherman2012-11-2640 minThe Colonel RadioshowGrappling Grabs trade secrets and Royal RumblesColonel and Sage discuss the burning issues of the day including James Bond, Royal tits, compassionate robocops, brain draining and the grab, the grab2012-11-1138 minThe Colonel RadioshowEgging The OmeletteThe Colonel and Sage are back back back with a new series... itchy bottoms... Boris the cyclist... Lord Coe... but is it art?2012-10-2846 minThe Colonel RadioshowWe Didn’t Start The Fire! But You Have To Start The Fire If You Want To make A Change!Last in the series... What happened to Prince Philip's testicles during the Jubilee?... The Colonel gets in trouble with the Royals...2012-08-0536 minThe Colonel RadioshowPull Your Socks Up and Sort Yourselves Out!Thumbs up with the Fonz, Louis Walsh and sexual health, Pam Ayres, gay ebay, boiling piss, colour, light and stabbing in the dark2012-07-2234 minThe Colonel RadioshowA Right Fry Up - We're All Out Of Our Brains Or At Least My Friends Are!Who killed Rober Kennedy? Who is God's dentist? And this summer's narcotic Olympics2012-06-2433 minThe Colonel RadioshowOne Hundred And Fifty Not Out and He Still Has His Pads On!Party time for Sage and the Colonel... Doing business with dwarves, Brando's favourite biscuits and Ron shifts a paradigm with a knife.2012-06-1039 minThe Colonel RadioshowSuck It And See!Episode 149 with Sage and the Colonel - How do you do what you do to me? Suck it and see!2012-05-1335 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Tewenty Seven Club. Lightweights onlySwinging England, Brian Jones and the otherlightweights, David Walliams in the Thames, redheads and the Royals, Cheggers in the trenches2012-04-3033 minThe Colonel RadioshowVapor Rooms, Formaldehyde And The Turner PrizeMen together in the Poplar Vapour Rooms... Pressing trousers... Lord Lucan... glory holes... the Colonel's outrageous plan on how to keep the Falklands safe... all finished off with some toilet trouble2012-04-1733 minThe Colonel RadioshowHung Up On Meat Hooks (don't do me like that!)Crabtree and Sage return with a new series! A journey into the darkness... Georgie Fame, Water Buffalo, homeless people, Rita Marley, ginormous erections, the Hallal pill crusade2012-03-3135 minThe Colonel RadioshowWoggle Madness and Clutch ProblemsPre series special - Woggle Madness and Clutch Problems2012-03-1834 minThe Colonel RadioshowGreat ExpectationsWho is the Colonel's famous long lost great grandchild? Are Terry's better than Dirk's? What did Crabtree do to Mrs Haversham? Last in the series2012-02-1234 minThe Colonel RadioshowAyahuasca and Other Such StoriesPsychedelic exploring... up the Amazon in a dress... coming serpents... Claire Sweeney salivating in Jack boots... on being Anne Frank one evening 1945, with just her sister at her side... the horror! the horror!2012-01-2938 minThe Colonel RadioshowA fluffy revolutionExperimenting with polar bears, cous cous, Mick McCarthy, revolution2012-01-1541 minThe Colonel RadioshowStop the clocks I want to get off - Mid series specialMidseries special from the Colonel and Sage2011-12-3146 minThe Colonel RadioshowChristmas Special - Ebony and Ivory all in it togetherFestive fun with the Colonel's Christmas Special - Ebony and Ivory all in it together... doing it for the kids2011-12-2346 minThe Colonel RadioshowCrumbs of CrowleyThe Colonel recounts time spent with Aleister Crowley. The dark arts, ducks, leather pants, Mike Yarwood and other satantic stuff and nonsense2011-12-1837 minThe Colonel RadioshowMurder Without ConvictionWe discover various high profile 'indiscretions' by the Colonel that links him with some of the most historical assissinationsof the 20th Century. In addition, a Scotsman is unfortunate.2011-12-0441 minThe Colonel RadioshowFalling over with MirandaTwisting with Sage and the Colonel... The despicably evil plan of the great inventor Otis Van Strapon, involving Miranda Hart and falling over. The Chinese, Stacia Blake and Liptons Tea??2011-11-2037 minThe Colonel RadioshowYou do the fighting, I'll do the talkingRantsville - Archbishops, big society, the French, David Cameron the shit... the Colonel gets a bit wound up with them all2011-11-0735 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe fly killer runs a mockWho are we? Blaming the wife, getting conned by the YMCA, Ku Klux Klan, inspecting hard drives and fisticuffs with the Angel Gabriel2011-10-1635 minThe Colonel RadioshowMein CucumbersThis week Eva Peron, Muslim knock knock jokes, toffs and cultivating cucumbers2011-10-0241 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe art of seductionNew Series! Sleeping with mothers. Standing and delivering. Anyone for tennis, diving or pool? And getting throttled by the Krays2011-09-1834 minThe Colonel RadioshowLand of Hope and GoryI predict a riot... Series special with the Colonel, Ronnie Kray and the rest. Arse, skinheads, flagpoles, riots and looting gobstoppers. How to get a job at the BBC and how to hire a chimney sweep. At the end of the day, give them six of the best and have a cup of tea.2011-09-0443 minThe Colonel RadioshowEpisode Special - Hollywood Conspiracy with WigsThe Madame Tassaud’s Scandal, the Colonel’s role in the killing of Osama Bin Laden… what really goes on in the Playboy mansion. The joy of auto asphyxiation. How to make porridge… and how Ted Rogers helped out Al Qaeda2011-08-2040 minThe Colonel RadioshowSuffragette TransparencyHello Sailor! Been caught stealing... Compromising photographs of Prince Philip... did she jump or was she pushed? Getting it out in the open... Last in the series2011-08-0137 minThe Colonel RadioshowFood and oil issuesStarting from the bottom up with Ronald McDonald... who killed Victor Hugo? Sexual harassement in the trenches2011-07-0335 minThe Colonel RadioshowTales from BerlinThe buggerer's buggerer, the trench wench, Ken Dodd's feather duster, Dr Who is compromised, dealing with the youth and being unkind to Israelis and who the hell's Max Miller?2011-06-1937 minThe Colonel RadioshowColonel Gaddafi's pantomine horseThe metaphysical power of the Aztec sausage, Charlie Sheen's strategy for Libya, the confusion over the Karate Kid, Brian Cox and Opera2011-06-0537 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Tales of a Gay Romper StomperJohn Galliano, Romper Stompers, tattoos, favouring Muslimists, kidnapping cats2011-05-2130 minThe Colonel RadioshowSmoke Screens - WikileaksIs wikileaks a smokescreen for a bigger stink? Is Prince Philip a deviant? Where is the clown with the bulge in his trousers?2011-05-0836 minThe Colonel RadioshowTwin Towers, illusionists and film makersThe Twin Towers conspiracy, hijra, Rogered Milliband and tightening nuts, all in a day's work for Crabtree and Sage2011-04-2331 minThe Colonel RadioshowOh The Good Life (until someone causes trouble)Sage is joined by both the Colonel and Ronnie... they discuss Bolshevism, hurting rabbits and Sting and William Hague's plan to steal from old people2011-04-1029 minThe Colonel RadioshowShort Term Ice DancingRichard Keys and Andy Gray, man on man affection, all you ever wanted to know about corned beef and freeze dried haemeroids2011-03-2722 minThe Colonel RadioshowWoe betide the eunuchsThe Colonel returns with series 13. Peace in our time, paying for sex, double headed spying... the first goon show, shitting in holes2011-03-1338 minThe Colonel RadioshowStealing from SainsburysStealing from Sainburys and blinding the Police. Hitting people with guitars, pissing blood and hypnotising Court Judges... all in a days work for the Colonel.2011-02-0630 minThe Colonel RadioshowSurviving Armageddon up Ben NevisWho will best survive in a post-apocalyptic world? Sage or Crabtree? And which one will end up starving to death in Wales? Which of the oldies has the best sperm to re-populate the new world? Rubbing sticks, collecting mushrooms and Danny La Rue are all discussed as Sage and the Colonel discuss their prospects after armageddon.2011-01-2332 minThe Colonel RadioshowEmpire Building with Ron and RegRonnie and Reggie Kray return from the grave discuss their future plans, which include pickling and Boris Karloff. Also, a message from Alvin Lindwall who discusses breathing in Hitler dust, cannibalism and why it’s all God’s fault.2011-01-0829 minThe Colonel RadioshowMerry Christmas EveryoneGet into the Christmas spirit with the Colonel, Sage, Ron and the rest of the team. The studio is filled with love as they discuss the Colonel's failed suicide bombing Son. Also, is the Colonel the real father of David Cameron's children?2010-12-2442 minThe Colonel RadioshowPoking with a stickTo poke or to blow up? The Vanstrapulater, sneaking into Heaven through the back door, Hitler or Gandhi?... Last in this series.2010-12-1231 minThe Colonel RadioshowErotic PulsationsThe pulsating movements of Louie Spence... The Colonel launches an appeal for the victims of the recent great floods in Kingston Upon Thames... find out what did Ronnie Kray do to Duncan Bannatyne... Don't listen to this whilst eating...2010-12-0433 minThe Colonel RadioshowWhoopsDoes the original version of the last supper prove that Jesus was either Australian or gay? What was Satan so upset about? Where did Michael Jackson put his finger?2010-11-2736 minThe Colonel RadioshowGod's punishment and other controversiesThe Colonel airs his controversial views on Olympic training, religionist's views on punishing limp wristers, how to achieve a distinctive swagger with the 'walnut trick' and does God wear a wig?2010-11-1933 minThe Colonel RadioshowGurkha IssuesA Frenchman on the run, banning Gurkhas, pumping children full of Jesus, phone sex with Bishops and Boris and his Johnson2010-11-0735 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe PathfindersThe sorry tale of Tiddler Terry, sat in a tree... also... Dawn Clench... Vince Cable's Hitler moustache and why Mugabe demands respect2010-11-0136 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe wrong end of the stickBoxing with Denis Healey, farting with Evelyn Waugh and wanking with Edith Piaf... all in a days work for the Colonel2010-10-2334 minThe Colonel RadioshowWhile the Watcher watches you...Cat Stevens, split anuses, poor people and sausages, problems with permanent erections, how to make a slush puppy2010-10-1734 minThe Colonel RadioshowTourettes all roundProblems with Philip Schofield's poppers, Piers Morgan runs a Mosque, the English Defence League has tourettes... Roger Agogo goes mad2010-10-1032 minThe Colonel RadioshowWhen life gives you lemons...The Colonel returns with a new series... Secret lemonade drinking, The Duke of Wellington, hanging around lavatories, bloody Boris's pushbikes, trouble on the buses2010-09-2630 minThe Colonel RadioshowStalking Jennifer AnistonWalking on the wild side with Danny La Rue, stalking Jennifer Aniston with Dr. Legg, trespassing with Wayne Rooney and kiddy fiddling with the Pope... all in a day's work for the Colonel2010-09-1931 minThe Colonel RadioshowRon and Reg reunionBefore the new series begins, Ronnie and Reggie Kray enjoy a reunion. They discuss what a rubbish decorator Jackson Pollock was, cafes, Star Trek and Ron’s sexual preferences.2010-09-1228 minThe Colonel RadioshowRoyal Scandal Bank Holiday SpecialA drunken Colonel witters about taking drugs with the Royal family, his plan to take back India for the Empire and putting chilli peppers up the Kyber pass. There is a delightful summer song about self love and then the Colonel spews all over himself.2010-08-2926 minThe Colonel RadioshowKnob Brothers Q and AsThe Knob Brothers, the very aged rockers, are in the studio discussing their days in the music industry... old novelty records, Joe Meek, groupies, the management style of the Colonel and the size of their knobs2010-08-2034 minThe Colonel RadioshowFilm Review with Jock SpaldingSage’s attempt at a cultural film review has mixed results as Jock Spalding is invited to the studio to discuss Herzog’s Fitzcarraldo and Tarkovsky’s Stalker… then he gets his knob out and things take a turn for the worse.2010-08-0828 minThe Colonel RadioshowGolden kangeroo ballsMarmite bagels, naughty Jews, limp wristed German sheep, the location of Lord Lucan and golden kangeroo balls... the chaos continues in the last in this series... special episode next week!2010-08-0129 minThe Colonel RadioshowGive Mossad a callCan Sue Pollard do the splits? Who does Sting think he is? What do Mossad want with Shane Ritchie? Are the Colonel's social policies too extreme? These and many other questions will be partially answered at best in this weeks episode... you can probably answer that last question yourselves to be honest.2010-07-1828 minThe Colonel RadioshowGeri Halliwell and the Fanshaw Candelabra StoryThe beautifully retarded Cheryl Cole and a case of mistaken identity involving Geri Halliwell and Fanshaw Candelabra... for the second week in a row - no one gets 'cut'2010-07-0425 minThe Colonel RadioshowIn Cold BloodTruman Capote, Mick McCarthy, Fanshaw Candelabra and Ronnie Kray all join the Colonel and Sage in the studio this week, luckily, no one gets 'cut'2010-06-2721 minThe Colonel RadioshowSaddam's Weapon of mass destruction uncoveredThe Colonel recalls how he accidently started the Iraq War when inspecting Saddam's bunker... also - carving up Arabia and killing Jeremy Paxman2010-06-2028 minThe Colonel RadioshowCaught with ya pants downFlashing at the Chilton enquiry, Bill Gates killing Germans, Peter Tatchell's soft spots, defending Quinten Crisp, offending the Irish2010-06-0526 minThe Colonel RadioshowFrench and Italian issuesA lonely little man from Clapham... Oliver fist... loosing sense of reality... talking sex and celibacy... shooting Italians in the backside... The naked flesh of Jane Fonda2010-05-3024 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Colonel's hermaphrodite lost loveHermaphrodites are on the table this week as the Colonel reveals his lost love. Lady Gaga, Tarkovsky and codpieces are also on the agenda2010-05-2223 minThe Colonel RadioshowTransvestite whales?Martin Luther King, Transvestite whales, teenage pregnancy and why not to suck on used tampons2010-05-1635 minThe Colonel RadioshowSage in perverted mode - the new Series beginsFisters, twisters and lispers... The Colonel reviews the Knob Brothers new songs... bad language and questionable comments are unleashed2010-05-0936 minThe Colonel RadioshowVote Crabtree! - Election SpecialPrior to the new series of the Colonel's radioshow, we present the Colonel's Election Special - the Colonel outlines his policies and expresses exactly how he feels about Cameron, Clegg and Browntrousers2010-05-0245 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Knob Brothers speakBefore a new series of the Colonel Radioshow kicks off we have the Knob Brothers memoirs... including Curdled custard, dirty books, dirty girls, quantum physics and Joe Meek the f**ker2010-03-1433 minThe Colonel RadioshowMichael Jackson's new nose and other storiesGetting to the knob of the matter with Peter Sellers and his rubber nose, Lionel Ritchie and his penis, the Pope and his arse and Michael Jackson and his puppets... Last in the current series2010-02-1431 minThe Colonel RadioshowJealous of Jonathan RossHavoc in the studio, Mick McCarthy get cut, Jacques Kallis gets cut... there's talk of abusing Barry Manilow and the Colonel accusses Sage of professional jealousy2010-02-0726 minThe Colonel RadioshowFreedom of SpeechlessShould we grab Lord Mandelson around the neck, strangle the life out of him and feed him to vegetarians? Should we worry about Communists, Fascists and the Alabama 3?2010-01-3127 minThe Colonel RadioshowPoetry CornerA poetry reading descends into farce when the Colonel accuses Derek Pringle of raping Sage... The Colonel dissects the Bible and concludes that it is all bollocks.2010-01-2430 minThe Colonel RadioshowTrudi Stings Gary LinekarWhat happened when the Colonel is invited to a Tuscan orgy by Sting and Trudie Styler and the strange case of Gary Linekar and a bag of salt 'n' shake2010-01-1731 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Death of PoetryEpisode 100! Jock Strap, Sage in poetic mood and never twist a fister.2010-01-0928 minThe Colonel RadioshowLeg touching and limp wristed immigrationLeg touching in the cinema, Johnny Lydon the hypocrite, remarkably dressed Muslims, the Colonel outlines his immigration policies.2010-01-0334 minThe Colonel RadioshowColonel's Christmas SpeechThe Colonel delivers his Christmas message to the Nation. Ronnie Kray accidentally spoils Christmas and then he spoils it again (by accident).2009-12-2414 minThe Colonel RadioshowPouring petrolThe Colonel (antagonist extraordinaire) is at it again with an eclectic range of topics - pouring petrol on George Clooney, mocking the luck of the Irish, playing Fagin and a very odd story about Demis Roussos2009-05-2334 minThe Colonel RadioshowThe Disappearance of Brian MayThe strange case of the disappearance of Brian May. Starring Steve Irwin, Hugh Hucknall, David Furnish as a Royal Corgi and Ben Affleck. Guest starring George Michael2008-08-2423 min