Shows
PremeditatedDaddy's Nails v. The Kitchen TableOoooh boy, we may have stepped in it on this one. There are picketers outside the courthouse! Our gavels are in hot water!No need to schedule your manicurist this week, Judges Neil and Graham are here to settle all your nail care needs. We take an archeological trip through human history to search for one reason why witnessing fingernail trimming is gross.Is our own mortality? Is nail the same stuff as hair? It's just the boys and our keychain trimmers on an all NEW PREMEDITATED.
2025-04-2932 minPremeditatedSocial Prattle v. Should We Tattle (with Jenny Zigrino)Oh gossip, that ancient pleasure.A victimless crime... right? Right.This week we’re joined by Jenny Zigrino to dig into the social laws on hot, juicy gossip. Together, we can make America gossip again, and spill the proverbial tea into the Boston Harbor. Is it only okay if it’s about someone your gossip partner knows? Can the courts institute men-in-black style gossip forgetting technology? Does Jenny have a power kink?All of the questions that you didn't think would get asked are getting answered, this week on Premed...
2025-04-2229 minPremeditatedA Person's Birthday v. A Cat's Desire (with Danielle Shvartsman)What’s an excuse to party but not quite as special as your birthday party? That’s right. Someone else’s birthday party. And what’s more complicated than Italian physicist Gabriele Veneziano’s string theory? When your friend doesn’t want to do anything for their birthday but you think that deep down they may want you to actually do something but they don’t want to have to ask you to do something!!! Right again!The good men at the law offices of Premeditated welcome back their all-time favorite barrister, DANIELLE SHVARTSMAN (@stanleytushi), to make a ruling on wh...
2025-04-1545 minPremeditatedWedding Destination v. Gift Obligation (with Danielle Shvartsman)At what point does "All Inclusive" become all exclusive? Here at Premeditated, we travelling to the Baja Peninsula to celebrate love. But are we supposed to give the well-travelled couple a gift? Does the wedding hangover necessitate a money hangover too? Oh the indignity! We'll deliberate on this question, gift registry culture, chips and guac and more.For our debut video episode, we had to get a BIG STAR. So we skipped on down to the courthouse and dragged DANIELLE SHVARTSMAN (@stanleytushi) away from her current case where she's suing public schools for banning...
2025-04-0837 minPremeditatedGrandma Smart v. Kansas Board of Cosmetic Dentistry (with Will Smart)We're all people. We all walk around in society. We all get schitt in our teeth. The PROBLEM? Our eyes are attached to our face in such a way that we can't see our own teeth!Whether this is a new discovery for you or old hat, the esteemed lawyers at Premeditated Law, LLP have your back. We do what we're known for, and that is tackle unwritten social laws.Our good good friend, Will Smart, hops over the jury bench to help Neil and Graham settle on a...
2025-04-0140 minPremeditatedFriends v. FIFO (with Mudslide)You know how grocery stores stock their shelves by putting the new stuff at the back and pushing the old stuff to the front? Listen up Lucy, that's called First In, First Out. And well, hear our guest out, what if we FIFO'd our friends?On the Sweet Seventeenth episode of Premeditated, we invited our good friend Mudslide over to discuss when/how often we should hang with our peripheral friends. Yes yes, your best friends are your best friends, and you'll hangout with them whenever, wherever. But what about the friends you only...
2025-03-2527 min2025-03-2400 minPremeditatedCross Walking v. Cross Waving (with Ben Cassil)Okay, sure, there's some established laws regarding pedestrian rights. But...do we believe them? Do we adhere to them on 100% of our little strolls around the neighborhood? Unless you're some kind of boy/girl scout (nerd!), probably not!On this episode of Premeditated, co-judges Neil & Graham enlist the help of dear friend and litigator Ben Cassil to put some rules between those horizontal white lines most people call "crosswalks".Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil ZumwaldeGuest: Ben Cassil (@bencassil)insta: @premeditatedpod
2025-03-1832 minPremeditatedLine Make Out v. Line Make Joke (with Kristin O'Grady)We've all been in a line (or on a line, if you're an East Coast Crusty). It's one of life's unavoidable occurrences. Death, taxes and lines. And YET, the corrupt US Government continues to leave lines as lawless as the 1800s Western Territories. For too long people have been crossing the line when it comes to being in one! That ends now! It's time for Premeditated to save the day. Join Neil, Graham and their Disniest Adult friend, Kristin O'Grady, as they toe the lines of line etiquette. Our brilliant minds come up with the 3...
2025-03-1132 minPremeditatedTerritorial Eaters v. Can I Have a Bite (with Mudslide)Let's say you go out to eat with friends. Let's also say these friends order appetizers with the full intention of ordering a entrée later. What if they raised the steaks higher and suggest that you all order 'Family Style'?What do we do here folks?! Even if sharing food is your thing, how is a table of 3 supposed to split an order of 8 cream cheese lumpias???!!!Horror scenes such as the above are happening all around our country. And they're going unchecked and unregulated....Until NOW.Join Neil, Graham and their bes...
2025-03-0431 minPremeditatedMen v. HugsImagine you're a member of a family.Imagine you're a man.Imagine you encounter another man. There is no decision more dangerous or more rewarding.What NOW? Do you extend one arm? Right or left? Both up high for a double high five? Should you put both arms out and say, "Up!"And IF you commit to the hug, do you remain firm, pull away or linger? Do you back pat or back SLAP!Tune in this week for male, inter-family displays of affection! On an ALL NEW Premeditated!
2025-02-2522 minPremeditatedState of California v. resy.com (with Ben Messmer)Should we, as citizens, make reservations? And if so, should we be offered a little grace with respect for punctuality? Also, panthers aren't animals. Our guest, Ben Messmer, brings an intriguing case file that promises to tickle your sleuthing fancy and leaves us pondering the depths of dining etiquette. From sharing stories about Michelin-starred adventures to debating the merits of spontaneity versus planning in restaurant reservations, we explore the vibrant world of fine dining.What about the absurdity of technology in customer service, conjuring images of buzzing trays and square vibrators. As always, there's a he...
2025-02-1824 minPremeditatedHallmark Cards, Inc. v. Dept. of SanitationHow long should you wait before you throw away a card? Consult the rules, before you offend your loved ones.Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwaldeinsta: @premeditatedpod
2025-02-1125 minPremeditatedHumble v. Brag (with Ben Cassil)Ever felt the need to celebrate a personal victory without sounding like a show-off? Join us for a captivating ride with the ever-entertaining Ben Cassil, The Disruptor. Tune in for a parasocial deep dive into a thrilling cold case brought to life by Ben.As we navigate the hardscrabble streets of Los Angeles, prepare for stories that merge the city's notorious surface-level personality with the glimmer of Hollywood ambition. From childhood car anecdotes to laugh-out-loud encounters at Gelson's with a roommate and an unexpected brush with a budding Paramount star, our conversation mixes the allure of Tinseltown with...
2025-02-0426 minPremeditatedUnited States Postal Service v. Curious RoommateWhat would you do if a mysterious package addressed to someone else landed at your doorstep? Join us as we juggle the ethical precedent of possibly opening mystery mail, and imagine the treasures or troubles it might contain. Neil and Graham, your trusty hosts, get caught in a back-and-forth over roommate etiquette, mail privacy, and even a surprise class action lawsuit. Travel back to the enchanting days of snail mail, when the mailman was as magical as Santa or the tooth fairy. We revel in the nostalgic joy of sending and receiving handwritten letters and gifts. We muse o...
2025-01-2819 minPremeditatedIndecision v. Unhelpfulness (with Kyle Taksar)Ever wondered about the unsung heroes of the courthouse? Join us as we tackle the intriguing role of county clerks and their historical significance, all while holding space with out special guest, Kyle Taksar, Evan's sister. With her sharp legal insights, she's the perfect addition to our banter on society's unwritten laws. We dust off a neglected case file and ponder the justice system's abject failures.Picture this: a night out at the Cheesecake Factory with the endless battle of choosing between wings and rings. Our waiter, Pierre, helps navigate the extensive menu and the blight o...
2025-01-2126 minPremeditatedCouples v. Conversation (with Tess Sorensen)The doctor is in, and she's HUNGRY!Our improvised case file this week exposes the subtle violence of couples who only talk to each other. Quite the nightmare.Ever thought about how we all play different roles in social situations? Join us as we navigate the dance of norms with our special guest, Dr. Tess. She turns the tables with an unexpected case study, prompting us to reflect on our own experiences as both victims and perpetrators in group conversations. As the episode unfolds, we transition into a lively discussion with Jamie, Other Jamie, Barry, and friends...
2025-01-1422 minPremeditatedBottle v. Bathroom (with Jacob Grun)Ever been stuck in a car on a long road trip, bladder bursting, with no rest stop in sight? Our case file has a Vegas-bound anniversary with tenants' rights advocate Kuba Güün. Hang onto your She-Wee's and Stadium Pals, this is a bumpy ride.As we journey through the hilarity, Jacob offers insightful perspectives that remind us of the importance of communication and consent, even amidst bladder emergencies. We navigate the fine line between thrill-seeking and going too far, using some outrageous scenarios to illustrate the point. Whether you're in it for the laughs, the practical tips, or...
2025-01-0818 minPremeditatedCheckout Flagrancy v. Marriott BonvoyEver found yourself pondering whether to leave a hotel room spotless or let the cleaning crew earn their keep? On this episode of Premeditated, Neil and Graham take you on a journey through the unspoken rules of hotel checkout etiquette and those quirky norms we all seem to abide by. From deciding if taking home those tiny toiletries is a savvy move or a moral misdemeanor, to personal tales of less-than-luxurious stays featuring Florida bugs, body bugs, bed bugs, and inventive ways to stay warm in NYC, this episode has it all.If you've ever felt a pang...
2024-12-3120 minPremeditatedLeft Lane Laggard v. Lead Foot Loser (with Ross Kelly)In a tire-squealingly contentious case, Neil and Graham, talk to Ross Kelly to tackle the most infamous unwritten law since the invention of the Model T: Get out of my way! Shown through the POVs of a young, virile couple and a college-bound younger sibling, we explore the in's and out's of going in and out of the leftmost lane.The speed limit isn't the only thing being exceeded! We take comedy to new heights. We do what no lawmaker or politician has ever dared to do, we close the case on where civilians should drive and at...
2024-12-2422 minPremeditatedElevator Conversation v. Body PositionEver found yourself in an awkward social situation AND in an elevator? Today’s episode of Premeditated offers a look at those exact moments that leave us puzzled. We take you on a journey through an improvised reenactment of an office elevator ride gone not sideways enough. This chance encounter spins into a conversation about societal norms and the silent codes we subconsciously follow in the small metal boxes we ride up and down.Tune in for a moment of reflection as we untangle the unwritten rules that bind us in everyday scenarios. Neil and Graham guide you th...
2024-12-1713 minPremeditatedOne Flight Upgrade v. Two Travelers (with Tess Sorensen)Ever found yourself arm-wrestling a loved one over who gets the first-class upgrade? In this spirited episode of Premeditated, Graham, Neil and our BFF Tess guide you through a hilarious journey into the unpredictable world of airline seat assignments. Alongside Gary Anderson and Mary Patricia, a couple just trying to survive on Spirit Airlines, we explore travel etiquette with a comedic twist. From playful banter to candid confessions, we dissect the unwritten rules that keep travelers on their toes, often leading to uproarious moments amidst the chaos of boarding gates and narrow jet bridges.But that's just the t...
2024-12-1020 minPremeditatedSoiled Denim v. Regular WashingIn this gripping inaugural episode of Premeditated, hosts Graham and Neil dive into an investigation involving two college students caught in an unsettling dispute. One believes that denim, of all things, magically cleans itself, while the other is rent utterly aghast by this claim.As Graham and Neil uncover the case files of their friendship, they unravel the tensions that escalate from a seemingly trivial debate about laundry habits into something far darker. Is this a case of simple misunderstanding, or is there something more sinister lurking beneath the surface, and in the freezer?Join us as we explore...
2024-12-0518 min