Shows
Welcome To The SuburbsS3 EP:61 Uncle Thief, Race Day Mustaches & The Inhaler AddictionIn this episode, Andy and Greg dive beard-first into a tangle of hilarious and heartfelt tales—from a mysterious missing painting and a very questionable uncle, to mustache-clad IndyCar superfans and sketchy roadside motels. There’s also a dog who finally learns to eat on his own (after four years), a fish funeral that rivals ancient civilizations, and a bizarre addiction to Vicks inhalers. Whether it’s the Mustache Club, awkward hotel encounters, or getting called out at the speedway, this episode has everything you didn’t know you needed.www.suburbspodcast.com2025-05-1219 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS3 EP:60 Canvas, Carnage, and the Highway to Oil Painting HellAndy and Greg head back to school… art school, that is. In this episode, Greg shares his wild ride through metal sculpting, finger-welding, and an intro-to-oil-painting class taught by a barely-awake instructor. From making a fish out of scrap metal to navigating toxic paints and art-class chaos, they cover it all—with plenty of laughs (and a few bandages) along the way. Grab your smock (or your mom’s blouse) and join us for another hilarious trip to the suburbs!www.suburbspodcast.com2025-04-2821 min
Welcome To The SuburbsActing Classes, Gift Guesses, and a Side of TequilaAfter 35 years of marriage, Greg has finally learned that guessing gifts before unwrapping them is not a love language. Even when he means well, his psychic present-sleuthing sucks the joy out of the moment. To help, he’s turned to acting classes—because pretending to be surprised is apparently a skill.Elsewhere in suburbia:– Greg’s double-shot vaccine appointment turns into a tequila-scented CVS horror show.– Jennifer pays the HOA fee on time—but not a moment sooner.– A well-intentioned meeting at the bank with his sister ends in tears… and puke.2025-04-1422 min
Welcome To The SuburbsSeason 3 Episode 58: Dad’s Rant, Wedding Fails, and Top 10 Lists Gone WrongWhen Greg’s dad was alive, he was an endless source of rants. Checking in with him was like uncorking a genie of angst—30 minutes of pure frustration directed at everything from junk mail to the cost of mulch to the absurd volume of acorns. In this episode of Welcome to the Suburbs, we start with one of his classic rants—this time about Hulu.Meanwhile, Andy shares the one minor detail he forgot before his wedding: getting legally divorced. Turns out, being emotionally divorced isn’t enough for the Indiana judicial system. Who knew?The guys...2025-03-3119 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS3Ep 57: Tears, Tractors & Bedazzled Wedding DressesGreg and Andy are back in the studio for Episode 57, and things are already off the rails.Greg and Keely are on Day 3 of a six-day grandparent experiment, babysitting their three-year-old granddaughter—and let’s just say it’s not going smoothly for Greg.Greg, in an effort to be the fun grandpa, has reduced his granddaughter to tears multiple times—all thanks to a toy cell phone and a deep commitment to realism. He’d pretend to answer the phone, then rattle off his Social Security number, PIN, and grandmother’s maiden name before...2025-03-1721 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS3 EP:56 Fake Deaths Part 2, Felon Wisdom & Fast Food NightmaresHere’s a shocker: The wife of a Wisconsin kayaker who faked his own drowning to abandon his family and run off to Eastern Europe is now filing for divorce. Didn’t see that coming, did you? Episode 56 of Welcome to the Suburbs takes a deep dive into Ryan Borgwardt’s ridiculous escape attempt, how authorities tracked him down, and why guys like this make our job easy.If this is your first time listening, don’t be fooled into thinking we’re a True Crime podcast. No, we just prefer making fun of dum...2025-03-0321 min
Welcome To The SuburbsSeason 3 Episode 55: Setting Picks, Kayak Retaliation, and Faking Death FailsGreg kicks off the episode with a sigh of relief: "Life is good—no one’s spilled my bodily fluids over any parking lots." But that doesn't mean he’s not stirring up some suburban chaos.First up, Greg embraces his new role as "trailer guy"—but vows never to be that trailer guy stranded on the roadside without a spare tire. Andy points out that some boat owners don’t even think to bring a spare, leading to Greg’s latest revelation: "If you can drop 200K on a boat, maybe spring for the extra tire."Traffic...2025-02-1720 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS3 Episode 54: We’re at Loggerheads with Dress CodesAre you a Disney family? NO, was Greg’s answer. Disney apologists say, it’s not an amusement park. You’re right! It’s not amusing. The sidewalks are narrow, food is bad. The rides suck. Greg’s favorite part? Leaving. How did the kids feel? Grace liked the Mini ears. You can buy those online after going to an Amusement park.Did you know Ruth’s Chris has a dress code?If you were thinking about wearing “pool attire” think again as Andy found out when they arrived for dinner one night. He had to take to water win...2025-02-0319 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2 Episode 53- Grocery Store CultureIn Season 2, Episode 53 of Welcome to the Suburbs, Andy kicks things off with a pressing question: “What’s your favorite part of shopping at Costco?” Greg’s response? “Leaving!” It’s crowded, people block aisles chatting like they’re at a dinner party, and he’s convinced Prosecco on tap and a string quartet are next.So, what did Greg actually buy? Milk, eggs, and… a natural gas generator. Andy chimes in with, “Some people eat lunch there. Hot dogs are a dollar! I’ll even grab snow tires while I’m at it.” Meanwhile, Keely and Grace turn grocery shopping...2025-01-2021 min
Welcome To The SuburbsSeason 2 Episode 52: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly—Greg’s Cottage RenovationWelcome to Season 2, Episode 52 of *Welcome to The Suburbs Podcast*! This week, we dive into Greg and Keely’s unforgettable cottage renovation adventure. What some saw as a teardown, Greg and Keely envisioned as a charming retreat with endless potential. Endless being the key word The 86-year-old, 600-square-foot cottage sat on an acre of land with lake access. Its charm? Questionable. The roof leaked, the furnace was dead, and the water system had... let’s call it "personality." Harold, the previous owner, left behind decades of eccentricities: cobwebs thick enough to trap a bobcat, an elaborate system of fi...2025-01-0617 min
Welcome To The SuburbsSeason 2 Episode 51: Concert Crowds, On the Clock with Food Poisoning, Who Named That Plant?Part 1: What happened at the concert, stays at the concert, unless it’s COVID. Then you take it home and share. Greg was at the John Hiatt show, took a look at the age of the crowd filing in, then said, “based on the age of this crowd I bet everyone sits during the show.” John Hiatt superfan shot him the stink eye as she parked her walker to take a toke of oxygen. One toke over the line sweet Jesus. Part 2: Greg and Keely were sharing appetizers at restaurant in Chicago recently when Greg shot down a bad oyst...2024-12-2320 min
Welcome To The SuburbsSeason2 Episode 50: Happy 50th Episode Everyone!It’s time for the 50th episode of Welcome to The Suburbs Podcast. 50th! Like birthdays and statehood, the 50th episode is a nice benchmark. Andy asked me to recall some of our reoccurring characters. Ironically we’d just spent Thanksgiving at the lake where my sister reared her ugly head like a nose full of pimples on prom night. We also talked about Joe and Mary and the idea of developing a reality show titled, short legs, big attitudes. I asked Andy if his 50th birthday was memorable. His response, yes. Jennifer took me to Manhattan, I caug...2024-12-0920 min
Welcome To The SuburbsSeason 2 Episode 49: Papaw Coming in hot!Did you know, if you pay a little extra when you get a ticket, the state won’t report it to you insurance company? That feels a little like payola? The only thing missing, you’re not paying cash to a guy wearing a pinkie ring at a clandestine location near the river. Jennifer had experimental joint surgery on her toe. The joint wasn’t something they fished out of a bowl of chicken knuckle soup. It was actually titanium. Lesson learned, don’t have that type of surgery over a holiday weekend. Her trip to the ER for pain...2024-11-2520 min
Welcome To The SuburbsSeason 2 Episode 48: Survey Says!Part 1:Andy was lead engineer in the Crumbling Down recording sessions with John Mellencamp. He takes me back to those sessions for a peek behind the curtain to understand what it was like making that song with John. From John’s vision of the song to the rough cut. With a surprise appearance by John’s gum guy. Ray Combs built a comedy Club in downtown Cincinnati. The green room was upstairs overlooking the show room with a big picture window. Celebrities who knew Ray were invited to watch the show from the anonymity of the green room...2024-11-1120 min
Welcome To The SuburbsSeason 2 Episode 47: Becoming A Float In A Small Town ParadePart 1: Horrible bosses, everyone has probable come across one. Greg and Andy met while working for one, Jeff. His billowing voice would shout commands over the intercom followed by his extension 202! His extension number became synonymous with an emergency similar to 911. If Greg heard, Andy Symons, 202, he knew Andy was going to the lions. High volume profanity, blood pressure checks, and receptionists who quit during lunch of the first day were daily treats. Andy was fired, Greg quit and so began the adventure of land in a new work environment with another horrible boss. “Working for na...2024-10-2819 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2 Episode 46: April Wine, Crows Feet, Foreigner When Foreigner Was ForeignerAndy drove to Nashville, Indiana to see April Wine in concert this fall. He noticed that police cars were abundantly sprinkled along the interstate in construction zones. They had to be prop cops. Surely there weren’t really policemen in those cars. The opening act was Sweet. You may remember their hit Love Is Like Oxygen. Ironically, oxygen tanks were worn as concert apparel by concert goers along with walkers and canes. What is the average age of concert goers when Flomax is the drug of choice?Greg talked about smuggling southern comfort in the hood of hi...2024-10-1420 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2 Episode 45: Money makes no sensePart 1.You know you’ve made the right career choice with the building is in fire and you’re so caught up in your work, you have no idea. What’s that knocking? Siren’s? Do you smell smoke? Why is it so hot in here? Part 2: After nine months of being the personal representative of his dad’s estate, the word beneficiary is cringe worthy. It’s like a game of Monopoly without the rules, Boardwalk, Park Place and landing on Baltic Avenue requires a death certificate, payments to people in jail. Part 3. What do yo...2024-09-3018 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2 Episode 44: Teenage High Jinks & The Chucky Cheese BandS2 Episode 44 of Welcome to The Suburbs Podcast. Teenage High Jinks & The Chucky Cheese BandPart 1: What happens when practicing abundance leads to a plethora or ants and bees. Part 2: Driving home from school, a bet, snowballs, left turns, wrong turns and time spent in a policeman’s office culminated in what Greg’s dad referred to as his, Highway to Hell. Part 3: when a bike trail through the woods leads to a police pursuit via helicopter over a misunderstanding and a bad idea. While Greg spent his teenage years figuring out who not to...2024-09-1620 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2Episode 43 He Ate What Worm?S2 Episode 43: He Ate What Worm?Andy is just trying to buy McDonalds for the band when an old Biddy becomes the parking police’s version of a Karen. Do you want fries with that whine?Getting the driver stung by a bee while navigating traffic is:A). A video game challenge B). Pickle Ball for Bee KeepersC). Prank on JackassD). Andy’s photo shoot storyWhat do bathroom attendants, IMS Men’s rooms and sex clubs have in common. Andy’s explanation is hilari...2024-09-0223 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 Episode 42: Taste the Rainbow!S 2 Episode 42: Taste the Rainbow!Andy Googled welcome To The Suburbs and up comes a song, Welcome to the Suburbs by The Kottonmouth Kings. An underground group of Weed Rappers from L.A. Greg, overlooked the obvious and asked, Cotton Mouth like the snake? Ridicule ensued. Part 2: What happened to George? I haven’t seen him lately. That was Greg’s question to his ski brother Steve. Well, no one’s seen him because he was pulled over by the DNR for drunk boating And tried to get away by jumping off the boat an...2024-08-1921 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 EP 41: Bingo, Bango, Polar BearWhen Andy asked Greg about his job he never expecting to unleash a cast of character voices and descriptions that tumbled out of Pandora’s box. Dating someone new is a bit awkward especially when their pet doesn’t like you. Andy talks about Jennifer’s Pekingese and it’s “gizmo head”. Like an owl with fangs waiting to nip at Andy’s every move. Have you seen the movie, Reefer Madness? The way they depict Jazz Musicians who smoke marijuana is the way Greg describes what it’s like to drink espresso in the evening. Getting the...2024-08-0520 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2 Episode 40: The Horrors of Singing Class & Rental Car DropoutNearly being tased by the yellow shirts at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway or being pulled over by an irate member of the Coastguard. Which is worse? Andy then tallies the number of law enforcement Greg has met while being pulled over. All branch except the Space Force. Greg decides it’s time to get his pilots license. Stay tuned. Andy reveals he still suffers from ptSd bright on by a dining class he was forced to take at Butler University as a part of broadcasting clearly I can’t sing. Greg wants to hear 2 lines from a popula...2024-07-2222 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 Episode 39 Pat Boone’s: In A Metal Mood, Mockery, Chants, and MeditationsEpisode 39 of Welcome To The Suburbs asks the question, have you heard Pat Boone’s album that covers Led Zeppelin, Ozzy Osborn, Judas Priest and others? Even better, have you seen the cover?Restoration Hardware bought a 41,000 Square foot mansion in suburban Indy It’s their store, showroom and restaurant the property was owned by monks. Andy did work for those cats and the Islamic Center. How do you proof chant tapes or CDs for content. Andy’s question.Meditation becomes the question. Something Greg needs to practice. It could help prevent being tased by the yello...2024-07-0820 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 EP 38 Meeting SouthSide Tim, Greg Phillips, and ChuckTalking with strangers resurfaces as Andy talks about watching Greg go up to a random guy in the seats at Indy 500 practice and comes away with a dinner invite and a place on his Christmas card list. Greg became the surrogate son of Chuck and Melba. An older couple who bought his dad’s house and SLK. Like family sometimes acts, they needed coaching on personal boundaries. The guys marveled at Chuck’s soul patch handlebar mustache and his 2 block test drive of the SLK before offering to write a check for the asking price. Greg d...2024-06-2421 min
Welcome To The SuburbsU-Haul what we tell you to haulWe have a plan in our mind that is always fully executed without flaws, hurdles or road blocks. Then real-life steps I and teaches us how wisdom is gained. Something as simple as renting a trailer and appliance dolly from U-Haul turns into a cross street where culture, technology and rental businesses collide. After Greg’s dad died, he inherited the task of distributing furniture to friends, family and Habitat for Humanity. He found that liquidating a home is far different than selling furniture in a consignment shop. Complicate that with a sister that doesn’t know how t...2024-06-1020 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2 EP36: George, Tell Me ‘Bout the RabbitsAndy watched, and could provide no information on the race and the name of the horse that won, only that it was a close finish and a camel didn’t win. Greg watched zero minutes. But he has seen camels in the wild. On Easter, Greg’s cat delivered the head of a bunny at the front door. Greg’s kids were greeted with that sight as they went out to hunt Easter Eggs. Geoffrey the wonder dog sees the bunnies as an automated game of fetch. They sprint off, he catche...2024-05-2719 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2 EP 35 When You’re Trying to SleepWhat’s your thread count? Do you like it hot or cold when you sleep? Pets on or off the bed? Why do you keep kicking me? What the heck is Egyptian Cotton and why is it prized? Do you fly in your dreams? Do you have a reoccurring dream about insecurities? Do you sleep walk or have restless leg?In episode 35 of Welcome To The Suburbs Andy and Greg laugh about everything that happens between the sheets. www.suburbspodcast.com2024-05-1319 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 EP: 34 The Sound of Tumbleweeds and CricketsAn emotional response to crickets in the yard is dramatically different than hearing nothing when you’re on stage to tell jokes or play music. Episode 34 of Welcome to the Suburbs we share stories of hearing the sound of crickets, professionally. Act 1: PolkaBoy developed a no wedding policy because…well let Andy tell you. It’s painfully funny. Act 2: We’re the social Security Administration, we’re buttoned up, we’ve got it all figured out. That’s what they tell you. Executing that mindset, Cue the sound of wind and crickets Act 3: As Greg w...2024-04-2921 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 EP 33 Talking With StrangersWe spend our entire lives surrounded by strangers. Most of the time we give them a smile or glance and move on. Greg is extroverted and it’s easy for him to strike up a conversation with anyone. The Uber driver, cashier, or random person on the street. Keely can’t relate at all and prefers to just pass through life without exchanging pleasantries with people she doesn’t know. In episode 33 of Welcome to the Suburbs: Andy plays the antagonist and points out the absurdity of Greg’s quest to interview people inline at the grocer...2024-04-1520 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 EP 32 Something’s Fishy Here & Put A Little Less Skull In ItGreg wants to know why guys have to take something that’s supposed to be relaxing, like fishing and turn it into a competition? He’s not talking about fun little wagers, it’s the idea that fishing’s not fun unless you catch more than the other guy every time you go.Andy on the other hand is happy not catching a single fish, if he gets to wear a shirt full of product patches. Shirts covered in patches are badass he says lol. Jennifer’s dream was realized when they went to a restaurant...2024-04-0119 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS2 EP 31: Lost and Found, Peter Dinklage, Blue Wine.What is something you did in 2023 that you never imagined you’d do? That question was posed to her Facebook followers. Greg realized she and her followers wanted cuteness rather than his answer. Find my phone, water proof my watch, remake Snow White as a live action movie. Three action items sometimes easier said than done, unless you’re Peter Dinklage. Using don't as a positive with the following: push back with Andy’s mom, order the blue wine, or play handzies with Dave Dougan’s wife. www.suburbspodcast.com2024-03-1820 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 EP: 30 Smile At The Webcam, Girl Math, Three Stooges Pick up Greg’s StepdadGabe the pup takes a trip to Florida with Andy and Jennifer. Without realizing it a webcam is his babysitter. Greg’s sister wanted to use webcams to keep the caregivers hones but didn’t realize you pay for storage enter Girl Math. A way of justifying the spend on anything from Starbucks to Costco sandwiches. Scarface rugs sold in gas station parking lots around Indy. Who buys them and does Al Pacino get a residual check from Scarface Rug guy for the use of his likeness. Both of Greg’s parents die within el...2024-03-0422 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2 EP 29: Nut Rants, Orange Milkshakes and Meet My Neighbor: The President of MexicoMy dad built a home on a scenic wooded lot on a ravine. Then he became obsessed with the oak and hickory nut trees, their leaves and squirrels. Rants by the bushel basket. Andy practiced his FM DJ voice on a seat Nazi at a YES concert who determined he didn’t have the right to sit in the seats he bought. He’s telling me this while enjoying an orange milkshake. They make orange flavored milkshakes?Someone stole my credit card number and went on a tennis shoe shopping spree in Atlanta. Apparently they had b...2024-02-1921 min
Welcome To The SuburbsS 2: EP: 28 Valentine’s Day Love, David Letterman, Costume Changes, and What Ever Happened to Jewel?It’s hard to believe we’ve been releasing new episodes of Welcome to the Suburbs Podcast for a year! This is our Valentines Day episode. Nothing says, “I love you,” more that eating homemade brats for dinner, dying parents, or yet another traffic violation. We round out this episode with celebrity love and fun facts about Lindsey Sterling, the dancing violinist. Yep that Lindsey. Andy didn’t send her a Valentine card, but she is on his Christmas card list. Season 2 of Welcome to the Suburbs. Please share a laugh with those you love. A card gets tossed...2024-02-0520 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 27: Jennifer’s Hardware Store, Vince Gill, Americans In Italy, Greetings from CostaRica, Mom’s Apple WatchJennifer has 2 lbs of hardware that spans her spine from top to bottom. She subtracts 2 lbs at weigh in because it’s not diet related. Andy was preparing for their trip to Rome when he noticed his renewed passport listed him as female. Does he travel to Europe in drag or drive to Chicago last minute to revise his revised passport? Plus other stories of being the dumb American in Rome. 50% of Greg’s time is spent as his mom’s caregiver. She’s reached the point with her dementia that she’s wearing diapers and needs 24...2024-01-2221 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 26: To Catch a Thief, Stuck at a Concert of Organ Music, Viagra To The RescueAndy finds himself at the center of an FBI sting operation as the cast a net to capture a guy who is bootlegging Time Life 4 disc sets of music. Andy cooperated and they catch the guy as he picks up the discs then calls from prison to say, you’ve ruined my life. Awkward moments as you discover you’ve been mispronouncing a common word your entire life. For Jennifer it was serrated knife. For Greg, it was spelling the word your “highness”. Andy’s take, that makes you sound stupid. Greg’s response, yes...2024-01-0120 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 25: CHRISTMAS SPECIAL‘Twas the night before Christmas and in Andy’s house there is a note to Santa with practical gifts that only a precise child wants, except maybe a protractor unless that was included in the 5 piece desk set or the label maker.Meanwhile, Greg was at his grandmas house for dry Turkey and gravy made from sage, flour, more sage, milk and some extra sage. After 60 years of the sage gravy the family voted for another gravy. His sister stepped up to the plate to make an equally overpowering gravy with thyme. Picking Christmas trees, Chris...2023-12-1827 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 24: Selling Snacks, Spring Brake, Held At Gun PointOne of Andy’s first jobs was scaling the steps at Riverfront Stadium schlepping snacks to fans at Reds games. No bat stretchers or diplomas were required but good cardio, calf muscles, and barking were recommended. Greg’s first spring break trip without parents didn’t require cardio, but IndyCar pit crew skills became a necessity. As if multiple tire changes weren’t enough the trip took an ugly turn when he was handcuffed on suspicion of murder while hitchhiking to buy tires. State Fair freak shows are a thing of the past. That’s a shame beca...2023-12-1121 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 23: 12 String Tragedy, Dad Style Rough Housing, Bob & Tom Golf OutingAndy’s in the recording session takes an ugly turn when he accidentally shatters the neck of his client’s favorite 12 string guitar. Years later it was brought back to life. Life, life! Give my guitar life! No bolt in the neck like Frankenstein. It was a normal holiday weekend of playing with the kids. Keely was at work. They decided to pretend they were skiing on rollerblades. An emergency trip to the dentist ensued and the rest of the story is a family legend. Andy was invited to a Bob & Tom Golf Outing. It was the...2023-11-2721 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 22: Farm Aid, SisterAct2, CounselingFor the last year as we’ve talked about my sister and I taking care of mom, Andy has asked me about the org chart. I’m baffled by the need for one. I’m also baffled by the need to be in charge when it comes to family responsibilities. How about working as a team to move the ball forward? My sister has to be in charge and when she doesn’t get her way, she says things like she wishes I was dead…because that’s how motivational speakers teach leadership, with threats and name calling. Carly and I...2023-11-1320 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 21: Skunk! Just Between Us Chickens & Set List FMSomething was eating my grandma’s tomatoes. Was it an insect or animal? My brother aimed to find out and find out he did when a skunk took exception to being singled out. Years later the phelps women wanted chickens which meant they’d become mine. Day one of tending the chickens for Carly while she was gone. I came upon a murder scene. A hawk came to dine at Carly’s chicken coop. Tears and more tears ensued because suburban chicken farming isn’t about eating the chickens. Andy asked...2023-10-3023 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 20: Mellencamp, The Mysterious Cat Woman, The Breakfast BreakoutAndy was working with John Mellencamp during the Crumblin’ Down sessions. He shares a story about John being raised by his grandmother. She was feeling old and told Jesus they were ready to come home. John said, hold on grandma! I’m not ready. I’ve got a lot more livin to do!One morning this summer, as it was getting light, I noticed a pair of women’s legs standing by a tree in my front yard. The rest of her body was obscured by leaves. So, I couldn’t tell who she was. I walked out...2023-10-1622 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 19: Laughing At Drama and When Negotiating Sounds Like BeggingSince COVID customer service seems to be optional depending on your negotiating skills. Andy’s tactic includes using the angry customer voice. Greg chooses FM disc jockey voice that somehow morphs into begging. In Episode 14, Greg joked about how he’s a magnet for Conservation Officers and their ticket book. In this episode Andy talks about negotiating his way out of a ticket with ease. Greg has gotten out of tickets, but it always includes faxing, FedExing and other forms of hazing by the DNR. If you can’t laugh about it, you’re taking li...2023-10-0221 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 18: Chicken Knuckle Soup, The Kid Who Barfed in School, Dad’s Dial UpEpisode 18 of Welcome To The Suburbs is packed with stories of food. Is Chicken Knuckle soup really a thing? Jennifer catches the wrath of a lunch lady when ordering a panini of all things. How we get there and what makes food funny is part of this week’s journey. We also stop for a visit with Greg’s dad. He’s challenged with moving from dial up to DSL even though we are living in the era of fiber optics. Stubborn people and the battles they choose! lol 😊Enjoy this edition and don’t forget to te...2023-09-1822 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 17: Firework Fails, The Big Fish, These Trees Have JugsIn episode 17 of Welcome to The Suburbs Greg and Andy laugh about the psychology behind Halloween costumes and amateur fireworks displays. Then there are the awkward recording sessions with clients who have copious amounts of ambition and zero talent. The best, big fish story ever told. In high school Greg and his dad take a trip to Acorn, Kentucky in search of the cabin where he was born. They meet cousins who live in the hollars and have a very different way of living that has to be seen to believe. www.s...2023-09-0421 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 16: The Bossy Airbnb. Using Elbows As Weapons and Uber EtiquetteA famous comedian said, Life is what happens on your way to pick up the dry cleaning. So true. It’s the detour taken by our Uber driver on the way to the airport. The people you encounter on flights. The Airbnb accommodations and chance encounters with animals and people that color each day. Andy and I visit the comedy of travel in this episode of Welcome To The Suburbs www.suburbspodcast.com2023-08-2122 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP: 15 Crashing A Rolling Stones Concert, Danica Patrick and a Faux DermatologistGreg buys a 100 year old cider press and sustains a lingering injury in the non contact activity of making apple cider. The injury has him searching through their linen closet, Keely’s vault for lotions, ointments and pills. He’d bleed out before finding a bandaid. Greg’s injury leads to a conversation where he talks about a dermatology appointment where the casually dressed doctor was more interested in seeing below the belt than the mole on Greg’s head. Andy professes his fandom for Danica Patrick or is it Milka Dunno… or is it both if they...2023-08-0720 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP:14 Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?So how many times do you think you’ve been pulled over, 100? That was Andy’s question to me after I described the many times and reasons that I’ve been pulled over by conservation officers. It’s over 20. Throw in random traffic stops, the total is closer to fifty. It’s been a running joke in my family since my high school days. I’m not careless. It’s some type of karmic debt. My friends alway had a way with words. They always got off with a warning. When I get pulled over it’s like the ticket has been...2023-07-2420 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP: 13 This Boat Is Sinking and So Is My Shop Class Project!I’m not sure why we named this episode, Episode 13. People are a little freaky about number 13. I’m not superstitious, Andy isn’t either. But hotels don’t have a 13th floor. Since we stayed with the number maybe we should release it on Friday instead of Monday. Maybe we should name it Rhode Island in honor of the 13th state rather than giving it a number. In Greek Mythology Zeus was the 13th and most powerful God. We could name it Zeus. The moon has 13 phases in a year. Apollo 13 did...2023-07-1021 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP: 12 The Secret Passage, Working Out to Foreigner, Awkward Studio MomentsShout out to Boardman, Oregon!Andy helps Greg find the humor in caring for his mom as she slips further into dementia. How she gets lost in her shirt as she puts it on, thinks the stairs in her home lead to a secret passage, and her sudden love for the 70’s band Foreigner leave the guys with tears of laughter. Andy has a portfolio of signs to remind himself that the soldering iron is on or the back gate is open. His Alzheimer’s starter kit. He also relates that audio engineering is 10% technology and 90% psycho...2023-06-2620 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 11: the Flying Saucer Pill Dispenser, Benadryl comas and Love interruptedWhat happens when you give a dementia patient meds in a pill container with Monday-Sunday compartments? They forget they took the pills, what day it is, and if it’s night or morning. So they eat all of them at once like they’re jelly beans. Greg’s family tries 3 versions of the same method. All 3 result in their mom eating all of the meds at once. Sweet irony that the definition of insanity is being applied by dementia caregivers. Andy’s parents medicated the kids every time they went on family vacations to Florida. The kids we...2023-06-1525 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 11: Pills, Benadryl, Love MisinterpretedWhat happens when you give a dementia patient meds in a pill container with Monday-Sunday compartments? They forget they took the pills, what day it is, and if it’s night or morning. So they eat all of them at once like they’re jelly beans. Greg’s family tries 3 versions of the same method. All 3 result in their mom eating all of the meds at once. Sweet irony that the definition of insanity is being applied by dementia caregivers. Andy’s parents medicated the kids every time they went on family vacations to Florida. The kids we...2023-06-1225 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 11: Pills, Benadryl, and Love MisinterpretedWhat happens when you give a dementia patient meds in a pill container with Monday-Sunday compartments? They forget they took the pills, what day it is, and if it’s night or morning. So they eat all of them at once like they’re jelly beans. Greg’s family tries 3 versions of the same method. All 3 result in their mom eating all of the meds at once. Sweet irony that the definition of insanity is being applied by dementia caregivers. Andy’s parents medicated the kids every time they went on family vacations to Florida. The kids we...2023-06-1225 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 10: Backfired Serenade, Hijacked Saturday Morning, and caveman.comGreg’s neighbor tries numerous high pressure tactics to get him to join her folk music zoom group. Meanwhile her husband retired without realizing the implications of being around her 24/7. Now he can be seen walking the neighborhood day and night. Maybe it’s folk music overload. Andy’s friend serenades memory patients with an accordion the results were miraculously hilarious. www.suburbspodcast.com2023-05-2920 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP 9: The Greatest Spectacle In People, Indy 500 SpecialAndy and I are from Indianapolis, home of the Indy 500. It’s the largest single day sporting event in the world. When Greg started going back in the 70’s the infield was like a combination of Marci Gras, Woodstock and The Rolling Stones,Altamonte Speedway concert. Andy’s friend bought a van for $500, built a platform on top with huge speakers. Maybe they drove it home. Maybe they didn’t. It was about the day, not the drive home. Pack a cooler with food and your favorite beverages. In this episode of Welcome to the Suburbs th...2023-05-2227 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP:8 Losing My Religion, Peeps and Little PeopleGreg and Keely celebrate their 33rd anniversary together, a wedding that almost didn’t happen because the minister caught wind that Keely was married and divorced in college. The same minister baptized Greg’s grandad in his swimming pool. Andy wants to give up going to church for Lent. Greg talks about being fired as a customer by the little people who own the only marina on their lake. Little people, big attitude. Andy thinks that’s the perfect bumper sticker. What do you think?www.suburbspodcast.com2023-05-0820 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP: 7 Morning Breath, Tea, and ManscapingGreg’s sister tries using a pill calendar to dispense Julie’s dementia medication but she didn’t grasp date or time. So she took them all then whispered in Greg’s face with morning breath to tell on herself. Greg’s sister calls him out on manscaping and his mom requests $2,000 from her retirement account because she wants to make sure she has enough money to buy tea if she’s at lunch. In Episode 7 of Welcome To The Suburbs, Greg realizes that caring for the dementia patient begins to feel like the movie Cuckoo’s Nest...2023-04-2422 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP:6 What If I Lose the Dementia Patient , Cold Sweats of Algebra and Casual DoctorsWith Michigan dispensaries a very short drive from Greg’s cottage in Indiana, he decides to drive up to buy some gummies. What could go wrong? He could forget his mom after dropping her off at the grocery. She could meet him in the parking lot with a basket of groceries she didn’t buy. She has dementia which is a better excuse than watermelon flavored Sativa edibles. Andy talks about the cold chill he felt when going back to school after 40 years and having to take Algebra. With the exception of teaching, what profe...2023-04-1018 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP:5 Guys Crying In Public, Dead Pets, and Picky EatersGreg admits to crying in the dentist chair while having braces put on last month. It wasn’t fear, pain, or anything related to the procedure. They we’re playing Animal Planet on the monitor and he became emotional over the show, then had to explain his tears to Gary, his dentist. For Andy, it was the music In Hamilton that moved him to tears. As he was crying, his wife Jennifer was looking for Kleenex and an open seat, away from the sobbing. Also, in Episode 5 of Welcome To The Suburbs, because of a tip about possi...2023-03-2719 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP:4 Digging up Greg’s Comedy Roots, and A Trip To Band Practice With AndyIn Episode 4 of Welcome to the Suburbs: How does someone decide to do standup? For Greg it was his friend Mark White who turned him on to a George Carlin album in the second grade.At a comedy club in Fort Wayne, the Doctor of Comedy buys a new tape recorder to capture the laughs during his guest set, Steve Harvey delivers a different diagnosis of the set. Andy laughs about his music career starting in the 4th grade. www.suburbspodcast.com2023-03-1321 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP:3 In the Studio with Aerosmith and How, Get Your Wings Sounds During A Police ChaseEpisode 3 of Welcome to the Suburbs Podcast: How cool would it be to work in the recording studio with one of your favorite bands. Andy talks about the surreal experience of working with Aerosmith. Coincidentally, in high school Greg was the passenger in a race between two muscle cars that turned into a police chase, with Aerosmith playing. www.suburbspodcast.com2023-02-2718 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP:2 Gift Cards and Home Ec. for DummiesGreg finds out on a birthday date with his wife, that his birthday is only 6 months after his parent’s marriage. How did he not know that? He also shares the awkward tradition of his parents giving each other money rather than gifts and the guys reveal pointers of what not to say on the first date. Funny moments of life are shared in this episode of, Welcome to the Suburbs Podcast.www.suburbspodcast.com2023-02-1322 min
Welcome To The SuburbsEP:1 Trash Talkin NeighborsDo you have that one selfish neighbor who can't get it right on trash day? In this episode of, Welcome To the Suburbs, Greg mocks and Andy collaborates in their stories of neighbors and their selfish garbage habits.Also in this episode, what does a vanity plate say about a person, beyond the intended message?www.suburbspodcast.com2023-01-3022 min