Shows
The Real Marriage PodcastStaying Connected While Raising KidsYou may have been told before you had kids that once they come there is no going back. It changes everything. It's hard to know how true that is until it comes but if we aren't careful it can create difficult challenges for the marriage. Griffin and Heather ran into this recently in what seemed like a random moment. Heather felt like she needed more time and focus on the marriage and Griffin was surprised by the feeling. How they reacted to the conversation was critical. Listen and hear this discussion about protecting your marriage and co...2025-05-2030 minThe Real Marriage PodcastManaging "That Time of the Month" WellHormones!We all know that every month a woman is impacted physically, mentally and emotionally. The question is how does that disrupt the marriage?It may or may not be an open and comfortable conversation in your home but if you aren't on the same page with this time of the month then you can open yourselves up to issues that develop over time.Listen and hear how Heather and Griffin have hit a breakthrough with not only understanding this dynamic better but making sure it doesn't negatively impact their intimacy and connection. 2025-02-1023 minThe Real Marriage PodcastStop Being StagnantA new year always produces reflective thoughts. Where are we in life? Where are we headed? Are things where we want them to be?With how busy and overwhelming life is it can be tempting to just ask those questions but not have a true plan to move forward. This episode is a discussion about why it is necessary to grow and move forward. Why we must not get stagnant and just stay where we are. We all have habits and reasons why we don't grow and progress whether it be individually or as a c...2025-01-2826 minThe Real Marriage PodcastThe Power Of GratitudeGratitude is a choice.Unfortunately it isn't always the natural one. As we've discussed before it can be easy to live in a place of discontent and wanting rather than a place of gratefulness. Listen and hear Heather and Griffin speak on the power of gratefulness. You will hear them explore the significance of what your gratitude is anchored to and why it takes work to develop a natural heart of gratitude. They also unpack how important it is to show your spouse and children what you are thankful for regularly. 2024-11-1827 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWas Homeschooling A Mistake?Making life-changing decisions always comes with trepidation. This year Griffin and Heather made the big decision to homeschool all of their children. After praying and seeking the Lord's guidance they made the move to alter their lives and maybe more significantly the lives of their children.This episode explores the challenges of making big decisions as a family. How do you deal with second-guessing the decision? Is it a bad decision if it is hard? How important is it to be unified in these kinds of decisions as a couple?2024-11-0424 minThe Real Marriage PodcastManaging your soul amidst the chaos of our current cultureIt's hard not to be anxious or worried.When you open social media, check the news or even just go about your day you run into information that is unsettling.Politics, wars, daily news, hurricane destruction, etc. make it really hard to avoid being affected by so many challenging circumstances in the world. So, what's the balance between caring and being informed versus being overwhelmed by it all? How much time and energy should we put towards all of these things out of our control?It's not an easy answer but i...2024-10-2226 minThe Real Marriage PodcastHow Do You Keep Up With Everything?The demands on your life are strong.Do you often feel like you can't keep up? Like you are falling behind and missing things you should be keeping up with?One of the most common questions Griffin and Heather get is "How do you do it all?" The true answer is that they don't feel like they do. The feeling is often that we are not keeping up well enough.Listen and hear Heather specifically unpack how this challenge feels as a mother. She speaks candidly about trying to meet the needs of the...2024-06-2726 minThe Real Marriage PodcastChoose Your Words WiselyWords matter.You can think back to different times in your life where words made a significant impact on your life. It could have been positive or negative but when people speak into your life it leaves a mark, especially when those words come from someone you care about.It's no different in marriage and parenting. Your words to your spouse and kids are of extreme importance. Choose them wisely!Listen and hear Griffin and Heather open up about the significance of their words in each other's lives. You will hear how they have...2024-06-1833 minThe Real Marriage PodcastCreating Boundaries For Your KidsEveryone parents differently. There is no easy or perfect template to parenting that creates the best case scenario with our kids. One thing that is true, though, about parenting is that we are responsible for them. Their growth, their character, their values, etc. Increasingly, it is becoming harder to fight against the influences of our culture to have a strong voice in the lives of our kids. We fight social media, other kid's influences, and the norms of the world and often times that clashes with what you value as a parent.In this...2024-04-3029 minThe Real Marriage PodcastDreams, Contentment and SurrenderingDreams can be difficult.On the one hand we get excited about what could be and striving for more. On the other hand not all of our dreams should be the focus of our attention. How do you balance this in your marriage?Listen to an open conversation about a recent dream that was crushed in Heather's life and how it sparked a great conversation between Griffin and Heather. You will hear them unpack the different way they approach dreams and how their faith plays a massive role in what they pursue.2024-03-1430 minThe Real Marriage PodcastHow Distracted Are You?While life seems to get busier by the day the distractions seem to come just as quickly.Whether it is aimlessly scrolling through social media, watching the random tv shows or however you fill the ever so small blank space you have in your day-to-day it never seems to help us move forward. In other words, our distractions can hold us back. This episode is a conversation we try to always keep in front of us. Are we spending our time on the right things? Are we focused? Are we overwhelmed and overdoing our schedule?2024-01-2927 minThe Real Marriage PodcastPrioritizing Sex and IntimacyYou probably have many goals for the new year. Getting healthy physically and maybe spiritually. Goals for your kids and relationships. What if sex and intimacy was a part of your goals this year? When God created marriage He made it to where sex is a major component of strengthening and protecting a marriage. It is a blessing that we get to take part in.However, as life goes on and we get busier and more overwhelmed by our responsibilities our intimacy in marriage can take a backseat. And slowly, your start to grow a...2024-01-1131 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWhat Did You Learn From 2023?Somehow the year is already over.Another year down and 2024 is now to come. One of the practices we try to do often is reflecting on where we have been and what we have been through. For us, 2023 has been full of new challenges as well as circumstances to celebrate. Listen and hear us unpack our takeaways from the year. From challenges with kids and work, learning how to keep maturing and finding more ways to unify as a couple, we experienced plenty this past year. There will be plenty that you resonate with. 2023-12-2033 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWhen You Are Growing But Your Spouse Isn'tDo you ever feel like you and your spouse aren't on the same page? Do you feel like you are headed in two different directions? Sometimes in our marriage one spouse can change as time goes on. Your passions, your beliefs, your core values can grow as you do but your spouse doesn't come along with you. This can be common for many marriages when life change happens like having kids, moving to a new area or changing jobs. It can be the reason couples decide to split up because thinking about a lifelong partnership with someone who...2023-09-2631 minThe Real Marriage PodcastThe Blessing Of ParentingYes, it is a blessing!Last episode we unpacked the burden of parenting. One thing we noticed was how easy it was to think about those ideas. The blessings were a little more in depth to uncover. And that is what makes the blessings so impactful. The role and responsibility of a parent is so unique and so impactful, the blessing play out for decades. Listen and hear Heather and Griffin speak about how they experience blessings now with young kids in the home but also look forward to the built-in lifelong blessing of re...2023-08-2926 minThe Real Marriage PodcastThe Burden Of ParentingParenting is forever.The word "burden" carries a negative connotation but the reality is that parenting is both beautiful and difficult. At the very least the incredible responsibility of parenthood can feel like a burden in one way or another. Because it is so constant and is a role you carry for so long it's worth understanding what the experience is truly like. Listen and hear Griffin and Heather share what parenting has felt like to them. They discuss how they have experienced the weight of their role as mom and dad and what they have...2023-08-1631 minThe Real Marriage PodcastAvoiding Bitterness In MarriageHow can bitterness negatively impact your marriage?It's one of those things that starts small but if not dealt with it grows into something you can't control. Each of us have frustrations towards our spouse for whatever reason but if we allow feelings to linger it will create issues down the road we won't want to face.Listen and hear Griffin and Heather unpack their experiences with bitterness both in and out of their marriage. You will hear them discuss the communication tools that are essential to avoiding bitterness and how it gets harder to do...2023-07-2629 minThe Real Marriage PodcastMarriage Is Not 50/50You've probably heard this before: marriage is 50/50.But is it really? When you step back and think about the different areas of your marriage and the specific roles you play it isn't always equal. Sometimes it's 70/30 or even less. Even the capacity we have in certain seasons to be "all-in" can vary and more often than not one of the spouses is carrying more than 50 percent of the weight at a given time.Listen and hear Griffin and Heather unpack how this plays out in their own lives. They speak into work, parenting, dreams, money and...2023-06-2633 minThe Real Marriage PodcastA Set Apart SummerIt's another season change.Summer is usually a time where we try to fit in vacations, find some rest and get the kids into as many things as possible to keep them busy. But if we aren't careful we can easily overdo the schedule and leave the summer feeling more tired and burned out than ever. So, what does a set apart summer look like? Could it be an intentional time for your family?Listen and hear a conversation about a healthy approach to what the summer could be and why you may wa...2023-05-2232 minThe Real Marriage PodcastModestyIt almost sounds like an outdated word.What does modesty look like is 2023? Is it even something worth focusing on?In part two of our "Set Apart" series we dive into this topic. You will hear Griffin and Heather walk through their process of figuring out as a couple how they wanted to approach modesty. And while it's easy to focus on the surface level ideas about what we wear and how we carry ourselves, listen and hear a conversation about what is beneath the surface with this topic. It's more about why we do wha...2023-02-2032 minThe Real Marriage PodcastSet ApartThe longer we are married the deeper our conversations get about who we want to become. We talk a lot about our foundation, the growth areas of our lives and what we truly care the most about.For us, we want a marriage and a life that is set a part. Free from what the world and culture is chasing, which by the way doesn't seem to work out for many people anyway, and driven towards what is most important.That is a life centered around fully pursuing Jesus and what the Lord de...2023-01-2332 minThe Real Marriage PodcastValues > RulesWhether it is at work, with kids and parents, your faith and any other relationship you can think of we all prefer values more than rules. No one wants to be dictated to or forced to follow a rigid set of rules because their is no heart to that.Parameters and boundaries are helpful but they are more powerful when they are based around a set of values that establish those boundaries. Listen and hear Heather and Griffin discuss how this impacts the culture of your family. In marriage, parenting or faith we wan...2022-09-1929 minThe Real Marriage PodcastYou're Too BusyThere is a difference between being busy and being fruitful. Life is jam-packed. You've noticed that there aren't enough hours in the day and that you always have more to get done. The tendency is to believe the lie that being busy is the best way to be. That if you're busy you are moving forward and keeping up. We live in an age of "hustle culture" telling you to spread yourself across as many things as possible to get ahead. The truth is that the goal is to be fruitful not busy. 2022-07-0431 minThe Real Marriage PodcastYou're Too EmotionalHave you ever been told you are too emotional?What about hearing that you don't show enough emotion? Most likely, your emotional makeup is different between you and your spouse. One of you wears them on your sleeve while the other keeps them close to the vest and doesn't show much at all.This can be a sticking point for many relationships. Not understanding, valuing and caring for each others emotions can do damage to your marriage. It can keep you from growing and moving forward because this is foundational to a long-term relationship....2022-06-0633 minThe Real Marriage PodcastSpring CleaningDo you have clutter in your life? As the weeks and months fly by it becomes so easy to get busy and overwhelmed with everything. We get farther away from what our goals were at the beginning of the year and things begin to pile up. Business becomes a major challenge. It's easy to start losing focus of the main things we should give our attention to. Our marriage, kids, faith, etc. It may be time for some spring cleaning in your life. 2022-05-0229 minThe Real Marriage PodcastCan You Really Hear From God?The real reason we feel like we have a successful and growing marriage is because of God's involvement in our everyday lives.We talk often about how God has led us or shown us something. So, can you really hear from God? What does that exactly mean and can that happen for you?There are so many questions when it comes to faith but when it comes down to it, us hearing from God has been a game-changer. Listen and hear how we have learned to be connected to our Heavenly Father in a way tha...2022-04-0432 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWhat We Struggle To BalanceLast episode we tried to answer a common question people ask us. How do you balance it all?The truth is that it is very difficult. It's a constant conversation of where we are lacking and how we should adjust. This week we touch on the different area of our life that each of us has had the toughest challenge with balance. Heather speaks on the challenges of having to focus on the kids throughout most of our marriage and feeling like she isn't able to give Griffin enough. And Griffin shares to difficulties of balan...2022-03-1424 minThe Real Marriage PodcastBalancing Marriage, Kids, Work And OurselvesOne of the most common questions people ask us is how do you balance it all? It's a great question and it's forced us to really think hard about how we approach all that we have going on in our lives.It certainly isn't easy and it was harder in the beginning. For us, believe it or not, it has gotten somewhat easier the more we have added. We have matured and learned so much along the way but the balancing act will always be a challenge for us. In this episode we tal...2022-02-2129 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWhen Your Spouse Needs You The MostFights and disagreements happen for various reasons. Whether it is stress induced, miscommunication, using the wrong tone at the wrong time, etc. conflict is just a part of the marriage equation. So, when your spouse lets you down or puts you in a difficult position how do you handle it? Do you respond with love and patience or are you more prone to being frustrated, annoyed or bitter towards them?In this episode Heather and Griffin get real about a recent conflict they had with each other. You will hear how Griffin put Heather in a re...2022-02-0729 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWe're Back!It's been nine months since our last episode and so much has happened with the Gilstrap in that time.Covid, new home, new job, new school for the kids and a new baby is just the beginning of our last nine months. We share it all in our first episode of season six along with the challenges we have faced as a couple and as a family throughout the process. Thank you for taking this journey with us! We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time. And don't forget to chec...2022-01-2421 minThe Real Marriage PodcastThe Future Of Our PodcastIn this episode Griffin and Heather give an update on their move to North Carolina and what that means for the future of The Real Marriage Podcast. Thank you for taking this journey with us! We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time. And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.2021-05-1710 minThe Real Marriage PodcastHearing God's VoiceHow do you know it’s God’s voice?We received this awesome question last week and got really excited to talk about it. Of course, we are Christians and are seeking to grow in our faith every single day. That journey has led to daily wanting to be led by the Lord in our thoughts, decisions and way we live our lives.For us, with so much responsibility as spouses, parents and leaders we do not want to do it on our own. Everyone is looking to someone or something for guidance and direction in this...2021-05-1031 minThe Real Marriage PodcastYour Greatest Strength Is Your Greatest WeaknessYour greatest strength is your greatest weakness.At first glance it keep seem a bit odd. But the more you think about personalities it makes total sense. Your strength in one area of your life is great but can create a weakness in other areas. Maybe you are very driven which allows you to thrive at work but it causes you to give less to your family. Or, you are extremely creative which produces amazing things but on the flip side it means you struggle to stick to one thing at a time. The list goes on.2021-05-0335 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWhen Stress Comes FastStress can come unannounced.Life seems to pile up the challenges quickly. Circumstances can change in an instant and so many things can happen that you just aren't ready for. Griffin and Heather have walked into a season just like this. And even though what they are walking into are all good things the stress has come very fast. In this episode Griffin and Heather talk about how they are trying to approach the upcoming stressful season. With a fifth child on the way and moving the whole family to a new state for a...2021-04-2629 minThe Real Marriage PodcastTen Lessons After Ten Years Of MarriageTen years of marriage.The old cliche is definitely true, time flies when you are having fun! It feels like yesterday that Heather was hitting on Griffin on the first day of our freshman year at Stetson University. And here we are with four kids and one on the way about to move our whole lives to a new state! It's been a great ride.As we reflected on our first ten years of marriage we realized that we have learned so many key lessons in these critical years together. Some of it we have shar...2021-04-1931 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWe Have Two Big AnnouncementsLife is full of surprises!We didn't anticipate taking a break this early in the year but so much has happened in March for our family. As overwhelming as our two announcements are we feel incredibly blessed and excited about what God is doing in our lives.Take a listen and hear some big updates from the Gilstrap family!Thank you for taking this journey with us! We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time. And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.2021-04-1224 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWho Should Be Leading Your Marriage?Who should be leading your marriage?Should anyone lead a marriage? Isn’t it supposed to be an equal partnership with mutual share of the decision making?Honestly, it can get complicated quickly. Many of us grew up and saw different things. Maybe you were in a single-parent home where a mom had to really step up and take care of a lot of things on their own. Maybe it was more traditional in the sense that the father felt like he needed to be in control and the decision maker of the house. Many familie...2021-03-0134 minThe Real Marriage PodcastShould My Marriage Make Me Happy?Should your marriage make you happy?It seems like an obvious answer. I mean, we didn't get married to feel unhappy with someone for the next 50 years. We want it to be fun and positive. We want to enjoy marriage.But what do we do when our spouse doesn't make us happy? How should we feel when they frustrate us or disappoint us? As much as we want to feel happy with each other all of the time we can't avoid feeling challenged, upset and sometimes even angry with them.Maybe marriage is meant...2021-02-2225 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWhen You're Stuck In A Rut"Rut" - A habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.Yep, we've all been there. Whether it's your job, your schedule, your marriage or even your parenting we've all been in a rut. Our excitement has waned and our enthusiasm for life in general has tumbled as a result. Although these seasons of life are common they are also potentially dangerous. When one spouse or both are going through a season like this it can spill over into the marriage quickly. And let's face it, we bring...2021-02-1535 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWaiting WellWaiting is hard.Many of us have had to wait to get married, to have kids, to get that promotion or to walk into our dreams.Waiting is a consistent part of our journey and it's something we want to thrive in. The challenge is learning to wait well and to not allow the waiting to be wasted. Because the reality is that the seasons of your life where you are waiting can either be a catalyst for growth or a reason for struggle. Listen and hear Griffin and Heather share the difficult are...2021-02-0828 minThe Real Marriage PodcastHandling ChangeMost people don't like change. The anxiety of it. The unknowns you have to face. Change is hard for individuals and it can create unexpected stress for your marriage. However, we all understand that change is inevitable. Whether it is having kids for the first time, moving to a new state, changing jobs or a change to your life that you didn't even ask for we all face transitions. The question is how well do we handle the change that comes our way?Listen and hear Heather and Griffin have an honest discussion about...2021-02-0135 minThe Real Marriage PodcastDon't Lose Yourself In Your MarriageHow can you make sure you don't lose yourself in your marriage? It's a good question with a complicated answer. God created marriage for two people to become one. It's a lifelong journey of merging two lives together to make something amazing. It takes compromise and sacrifice of yourself to do it well.But, on the other hand, there is something special about each individual. And if we aren't careful we can lose those special pieces of the puzzle and regret it years from now. This really is a challenge that can be so subtle for...2021-01-2527 minThe Real Marriage PodcastA Healthy Start“It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.”Maybe you have heard that quote before from a coach or a parent sometime in your life. It makes sense. It’s all about the finish. But let’s be honest, a good start gets you to the finish you want much quicker. Most people are elated that 2020 is over and 2021 has begun. It’s like a fresh start that we all needed. We want new, different and better this year. So let’s do it!Of course, it’s easier said than done. It takes inte...2021-01-1834 min
Chasing Courage27: Some of my FAV podcasts RIGHT NOWIn this episode I share with you 10 of the podcast that I listen to (or at least try to!) on a regular basis. In no particular order: The Rachel Hollis Podcast w/ Rachel Hollis Straight Up w/ Trent Shelton EmpowerHER w/ Kacia Fitzgerald Full Out w/ Samantha Jo Harvey The Real Marriage Podcast w/ Griffin & Heather Gilstrap Rock Your Best Life w/ Becca Halverson The Price of Avocado Toast w/ Haley & Justin Brown-Woods The Kind Mind Project w/ Emily Helderman From Jen to Zen w/ Jen Emswiler Relatable Much w/ Becky Whelchel (Bonus) Mind Your Hormones w...2020-12-0227 minThe Real Marriage PodcastBefore You Get To The New Year...You can’t wait for this year to end. We get it!It’s been a year unlike any other. We have all been challenged in ways we never expected and are hoping that a fresh new year will provide something better.But, before you get ahead of yourself, have you considered how important these next 31 days are? Think about it. 2021 will not magically create an easier life for us. You know you will face challenges there as well. Whatever you are hoping to see happen next year you will play a major role and c...2020-11-3031 minThe Real Marriage PodcastManaging Family TensionsNothing gets you into the holiday spirit more than some family drama.Let's face it. We all deal with some kind of tension when it comes to our families. It could be a broken relationship, some challenging in-laws or even something one person said years ago that still lingers in the back of your mind. And for whatever reason family drama can be the worst kind. As much as you try to get over it and learn how to deal with it the feelings can still exist. So what do we do? And even if we can...2020-11-2330 minThe Real Marriage PodcastDo You Know Your Purpose?Purpose – the reason for which something is done or created. The reason for which something exists.Everyone wants to know their purpose. We want to understand why we exist and how we bring value to this world.Whether it be through work, parenting, our marriage or how we serve people we strive to know and feel like we are valuable. We have to know that our life has meaning.In this episode you will hear Heather and Griffin share openly about their journey to find their purpose and how that has impacted their marri...2020-11-1640 minThe Real Marriage PodcastWhat Matters MostWhen things are going wrong we all cling to something. How is this season going for you? The pandemic is continuing to linger, the election has been predictably stressful and life in general seems to be confusing and at times, overwhelming. Of course, most of this is out of our control and we can't do a whole lot to change it. So, what do we do? In this episode you will hear Griffin and Heather discuss openly how critical their faith is for them in this season. You will hear when their faith became...2020-11-0934 minThe Real Marriage PodcastIntimacy KillersHow intimate is your marriage?Intimacy is key to every marriage. The basic definition of intimacy is "closeness." Many have broken this idea into four categories: spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.While we all strive to be more intimately connected to our spouse we have to understand that there are subtle ways to kill intimacy in your marriage. This episode brings light to different intimacy killers and what you can do to avoid them as a couple.Listen and hear Heather and Griffin share honestly about which area of intimacy they struggle with the...2020-11-0235 minThe Real Marriage PodcastDon't Let Money Ruin Your MarriageHow does money impact your marriage?Research has found that money issues are one of the top five reasons for divorce. And one study found that finances are one of the top two issues couples fight about. Most likely, money has become an issue in your relationship for one reason or another. So, knowing that, how can we approach money in a way that doesn't ruin our marriages? Listen and hear Griffin and Heather walk through four specific areas where they will not allow money to hurt their marriage. You will hear about the h...2020-10-2633 min