Shows
Unfollowing MumEp92 EMDR with Shelley Bradley-ScholeyOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with trauma expert Shelley Bradley-Scholey. Shelley is the founder of Fortitude Psychological Therapy an independent therapy practice, She is an accredited EMDR Consultant & Training Facilitator, Accredited CBT Therapist, Supervisor & Lecturer at the University of Oxford, Registered Mental Health Nurse.You can find her on Socials @fortitudepsychologicaltherapy or visit www.fortitudepsychologicaltherapy.co.ukFor free resources from The Trauma Toolbox visit www.fortitudepsychologicaltherapy.co.uk/freeresourcesHarriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had i...
2025-10-0140 minUnfollowing MumEp91 Parentification, young parents & moving into helping professionsOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Chantelle about her experiences of growing up with a teen mum, parentification and how she used her experiences to inspire her work as a child protection social worker.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visi...
2025-09-2458 minUnfollowing MumEp90 Enmeshed, estranged & toxic patterns: parents & in-lawsOn this episode Harriet Shearsmith speaks with Hazel about her experiences of enmeshment with her father and subsequent estrangement, only for her to witness similar patterns of dysfunction with her husband and his mother, leaving her with the experience on both sides.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G...
2025-09-1754 minUnfollowing MumEP89 Unknown number: Toxic parenting extremeOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks about Netflix documentary Unknown Number: The Catfish Highschool which follows the shocking case of Kendra Licari and her horrendous abuse of her daughter and friends. please note, this episode contains spoilers for the documentary and discusses Munchausen by Proxy (now known as Factitious Disorder Imposed on another (FDIA))Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish...
2025-09-1037 minUnfollowing MumEp88 Summer holidays & IPT-AST to improve parenting skillsOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of summer holidays growing up and how it differs from her parenting experience, she shares powerful insights from her book Unfollowing mum on Interpersonal psychotherapy - adolescent skills training (IPT-AST) and how we can use the programme to improve our communication with our children (and how we can reflect on where these skills were absent in our relationships with our parents)Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHq...
2025-07-1637 minUnfollowing MumEp87 TW parental death after estrangementOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares a letter from 'Tanya' about parental suicide after estrangement, an enabling parent who haven't worked on their own trauma and continue to choose people who harm them and the impact affairs have on toxic family dynamics.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY...
2025-07-0935 minUnfollowing MumEp86 The golden child with Lauren SmallcombOn this episode of the show, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with author of Golden Child: My descent to scapegoat and rise to freedom and mind & body practitioner Lauren Smallcomb about her experiences as a former golden child and what it looks like to fall from the golden child perch.You can find Lauren at instagram.com/goldenchildbook or @flourish_therapy and find her book at flourishtherapy.kartra.com/page/goldenchildHarriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn...
2025-07-0254 minUnfollowing MumEp85 Breaking no contact after 4 years, harassment and toxic parentsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares a recent experience where she had to break no contact with her mother due to harassment, how she handled the situation and what it looks like to stay in a place of 'self' during these experiences.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY...
2025-06-2543 minUnfollowing MumEp84 Being the scapegoat: the slow burn route to estrangementOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith reads out a letter from a listener, sharing their experience of growing up in a toxic family dynamic as the scapegoat and how that led to estrangement.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com fo...
2025-06-1846 minUnfollowing MumEP83 Narcissistic, Emotionally immature & toxic - what is the difference?On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats about the difference between emotionally immature, narcissistic and toxic parents.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Or visit www.harrietshearsmith.com for helpful resources, tools and to book an appointment with Harriet. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2025-06-1129 minUnfollowing MumEP82 The "phone works both ways" dadsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with an anonymous guest regarding her experiences with parental alcoholism, a narcissistic and self centred father and toxic parent dynamics.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2025-03-051h 02Unfollowing MumEP81 "You remind me of my mum" :: Navigating familiar triggersOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the experience of being triggered - both memories that conversations with people will bring up, and what it is like to recognise your abusive parent's behaviours in someone else.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2025-02-2632 minUnfollowing MumEP80 *TW* Abusive step parents, enabling parents & the physiological effect of traumaOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Diana, childhood sexual abuse and cancer survivor, about her experiences growing up in an abusive household and discovering the betrayal of her mum in adulthood. They discuss the physiological impact of trauma and Diana's views on her healing journey. For more from Diana, you can find her here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/diana__pearson__Tiktok: https://tiktok.com/diana__pearson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2025-02-1251 minUnfollowing MumEP79 What happens when your narc parent is cheated on?On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of growing up with a narcissistic parent who has been cheated on and how that unique dynamic can present in the parent/child relationship.You can get a copy of Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wanted here: https://amzn.to/42rOl3N Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2025-01-2935 minUnfollowing MumEP78 Estrangement, alienation & freedomOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with 'Laura' about her lived experiences with a narcissistic mother who alienated her father and eroded her self worth and confidence. 'Laura' shares how she's found empowerment through therapy and cutting contact.If you find any of the topics on Unfollowing Mum useful, you can buy Harriet's book here: https://amzn.to/3DTQsn0 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2025-01-2250 minUnfollowing MumEP77 University & estrangementOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares the first written submission for the lived experience stories shared on the podcast. This listener has shared their lived experience of going to university and becoming estranged, as well as some resources for fellow estranged students.https://www.standalone.org.uk/guides/adultchildren/https://www.bethanywebster.com/blog/going-no-contact/https://www.ucas.com/applying/applying-university/individual-needs/estranged-studentsGrab a copy of Harriet's therapist recommended book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https...
2025-01-1526 minUnfollowing MumEP76 Happy New YearOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the new year and what it means for cycle breakers, estrangements and toxic family dynamics.Order Harriet's new book here: https://amzn.to/3DW5ZCv Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2025-01-0825 minUnfollowing MumEP75 Christmas boundaries with Natasha NyekeOn this final episode of the year, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with therapist Natasha Nyeke about boundaries at Christmas.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy Patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/41BCzn3 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-12-1845 minUnfollowing MumEP74 Unethical care & how to find the right therapist or coachOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith has a bit of a rant about unethical care, a lack of trauma informed care and why finding the right therapist matters.You can find Harriet's book: Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3VxO1ME Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-12-1132 minUnfollowing MumEP73 Sleep: the impact of narcissistic parents & attachment stylesOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Holistic Sleep Coach Kelly about her experiences of growing up with a narcissistic parent and how that influences her work. They chat about attachment styles, the impact of toxic parents on our sleep patterns and more! You can find Kelly here: instagram.com/mychildsleepconsultant Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-12-0449 minUnfollowing MumEP72 Navigating antenatal & postpartum depression with toxic familyOn this episode, host and author Harriet Shearsmith talks with an anonymous guest about their experiences of antenatal and postpartum depression whilst navigating toxic family and what it means to finally choose yourself. You can buy Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3VoJso7 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-11-2738 minUnfollowing MumEP71 Thanksgiving, family politics & actual politicsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about thanksgiving and how to navigate the holiday period as an estranged or low contact adult.You can grab a copy of Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3AQYKL6 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-11-2031 minUnfollowing MumEP70 Covid weddings & cutting contact whilst pregnantOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with guest Alyssa about her experience of cutting contact contact with her toxic mother.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can order here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-11-1335 minUnfollowing MumEP69 Coming out, lack of acceptance and moving on with lifeOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks with Sariah about her lived experience of growing up in a Mormon home as a member of the LGBTQIA community and what that meant for her relationship with her parents, sense of self and how she found empowerment.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-11-0639 minUnfollowing MumEp68 Breaking the cycle when you're not a parent with Angèle CristinaOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with life coach Angèle Cristina about breaking the cycle for YOU without being a parent. You can find Angèle here: https://www.instagram.com/angelecristinaofficial/profilecard/?igsh=dG5rOHQ2OHhxdm9lIf you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-10-3049 minUnfollowing MumEp67 Jealousy and shame from narcissistic mothersOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with an anonymous guest about her lived experience of growing up in the 80s with a toxic mother and the shame surrounding sex, jealously of joy and how unhealed trauma impacts the parental role.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-10-2335 minUnfollowing MumEP66 Emotionally unavailable and abandoning fathersOn this episode, host and empowerment coach Harriet Shearsmith chats with Emma about her experience of abandonment from her father.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-10-1641 minUnfollowing MumEp65 PMDD & weaponised mental health conditionsOn this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks with integrative psychotherapist and PMDD advocate Josie about her experiences with PMDD and how easily mental health conditions can be weaponised in toxic family dynamics. If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-10-091h 12Unfollowing MumEP64 Generational trauma, hispanic cultural norms & living with a toxic parentOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with Cristina about her lived experience growing up in a Hispanic family where it's commonplace to live in a multigenerational home and what that has meant for her difficult relationship with her mother.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-10-0244 minUnfollowing MumEP63 Discussing different sibling perspectives with Louise & FrankieOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with siblings Frankie & Louise about their lived experiences with a toxic father. They discuss how different their relationships with dad have looked through the years and share their views on their childhoods. You can listen to Louise's podcast Mums Work and Chaos episode featuring Harriet here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6pyjVmIlBG7h1AmBhMDXHH?si=AtUtqk4KSF6uUZ0cryAY7AIf you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th...
2024-09-251h 19Unfollowing MumEP62 How can therapy help with Lucy Hills-GaleOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with therapist Lucy Hills-Gale about how therapy can help you to move through your lived experiences and heal. Lucy shares her exercises and advice during this episode, and you can also find her at Space to Talk Counselling, which you can find here: https://www.spacetotalk.co.uk/ and on her instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/spacetotalk_counselling and facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/Spacetotalkcounselling/If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent...
2024-09-1847 minUnfollowing MumEP61 I've got news! (and why we feel lazy when resting)On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares some exciting news and talks about why she feels 'lazy' taking the summer off podcasting to spend with her kids.If you have found Unfollowing Mum pod useful, consider pre-ordering Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had, available on 7th November 2024. You can preorder here: https://bio.to/UnfollowingMum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-09-1132 minUnfollowing MumEP60 What comes after the confrontation? (TW: Covert SA)On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with an anonymous guest about their experiences of covert sexual abuse at the hands of their mother and step father, what happens AFTER you confront the enabling parent and how you maintain a relationship IF you choose to. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-07-1039 minUnfollowing MumEP59 Breaking cycles, boundaries & repair with Natasha NyekeOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with therapist and coach Natasha Nyeke about breaking the cycle, repairing the relationship with your emotionally immature parent and feeling your feelings.You can find Natasha here:https://www.instagram.com/theimperfect.therapisthttps://www.natashanyeke.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-06-2653 minUnfollowing MumEp58 Father's day - the aftermath.On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about Father's day and what that might have looked like for different people. Remember: you're not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-06-1933 minUnfollowing MumEP57 Religious abuse & estrangementOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to author Lyn Smith Gregory about religious trauma, abuse and the resulting estrangement from stepping out of the church. You can find more about Lyn here: https://lynsmithgregory.com/about/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-06-1242 minUnfollowing MumEP56 Bi cultural straddling & the unhealthy family dynamic with Sahaj KohliOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with Sahaj Kohli, therapist, author of But what will people say? and founder of @browngirltherapy. Sahaj shares her wisdom about setting boundaries and navigating dysfunctional family dynamics as a bi-cultural child of immigrants and breaking generational trauma cycles within collectivist, multicultural families. You can find Sahaj's book here:https://amzn.to/3Vawj0NAnd follow @browngirltherapy on instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-06-0534 minUnfollowing MumEP 55 Scapegoating, estrangement & lies with Harriet GleesonOn this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks to psychotherapist Harriet Gleeson about her experiences of estrangement due to lies and scapegoating. You can find Harriet at https://www.harrietgleesontherapy.co.uk or follow her on instagram at @the.good.enough.therapist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-05-2240 minUnfollowing MumEp54 Fight response, anger & shameOn this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about fight response, anger and shame. You can find her here: https://www.instagram.com/unfollowing_mum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-05-1527 minUnfollowing MumEp53 Self care, boundaries & guilt for cycle breakers with Emma BenyonOn this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith chats with coach Emma Benyon about self care, guilt and setting boundaries as a cycle breaking parent. You can find Emma here: https://www.instagram.com/emmabenyon.coach and https://emmabenyoncoaching.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-05-0137 minUnfollowing MumEP52 Generational trauma & toxic family dynamics as a child of immigrants On this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Rachel Varkey, host of It's Fine! Pod, about her experiences of generational trauma and toxic family dynamics as a child of immigrants. They talk about the 'that's just white woman stuff' myth that surrounds cycle breaking and challenging our generational trauma.You can find Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/itsfinethepod?igsh=N3Fjdmp5ZXRtNXE1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-04-2455 minUnfollowing MumEP 51 Why is setting boundaries with your partner's family SO tough?On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about setting boundaries with your partner's family and why it's so tough - from when they won't to navigating healthy reactions when you've never experienced them before, she breaks it down in this short episode.You can get in touch with Harriet at @tobyandroo or harriet@tobyandroo.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-04-1727 minUnfollowing MumEp 50 Late ADHD/ASD diagnosis and childhood traumaOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of late ASD/ADHD assessment and how that feels as someone who grew up with a toxic parent. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo on instagram and tiktok or email her at harriet@tobyandroo.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-04-1026 minUnfollowing MumEp49 F.O.G - Fear, Obligation & Guilt: a narcissistic parent's toolkitOn this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith chats about FOG - Fear, obligation and guilt, and how this is an essential part of the narcissistic parent't toolkit. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-03-1234 minUnfollowing MumEP48 Complicated feelings that come up around Mother's Day On this episode, host and coach Harriet Shearsmith shares insights into Mother's day from the perspective of an estranged or low contact adult children from her instagram community and her own experiences. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-03-0628 minUnfollowing MumEP 47 Baiting - what is it & how do we stop it?On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about baiting - why narcissistic parents do it and how you can combat against it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-02-2827 minUnfollowing MumEP 46 Ending relationships and attachment stylesOn this week's episode host and coach Harriet Shearsmith talks about endings - her relationship with them, how that is impacted by attachment styles and why it relates of our toxic parents.As promised the recommended quiz for attachment styles is: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-02-2022 minUnfollowing MumEP45 Birthdays - mine, theirs and why they are complicatedOn this episode of the podcast, host Harriet Shearsmith is talking birthdays - her birthday, her children's birthdays and why birthdays are complicated when you have had a traumatic or difficult childhood. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-02-0729 minUnfollowing MumEP44 Emotionally immature parents, emotionally dismissive fathers & post-accountability repairsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to anonymous guest Victoria about her lived experience with emotionally immature parents, toxic, dismissive fathers and what relationships can look like with parents after accountability and when a repair has been made. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum via tiktok or instagram. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-01-3149 minUnfollowing MumEP43 TW Normalised sexual abuse & life afterOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to an anoymous guest about her experiences with sexual abuse growing up and how life looks after healing work. You can find Harriet at @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum on tiktok and instagram. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-01-2438 minUnfollowing MumEp42 New Year pressures, toxic positivity & post-Christmas chaosOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the pressures of post-christmas chaos, new year new you and toxic positivity in January. She shares some tops tips for working with the negative inner critic, and offers some advice around a new estrangement with parents. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2024-01-1731 minUnfollowing MumEp 41 Setting Boundaries at ChristmasOn this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith answers your boundary questions for the festive period and offers some advice on how to navigate an often challenging time. You can find her online at instagram.com/tobyandroo or instagram.com/unfollowing_mum Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-12-1343 minUnfollowing MumEp40 Self discovery, being LGBTQ+ & neurodivergent with a toxic parent with Cara MacBOn this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Cara MacB about her lived experienced as a non-binary, neurodivergent person growing up with a toxic parent and how that stifled her sense of self. You can find Cara at Instagram: https://instagram.com/cara_macb Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-12-061h 02Unfollowing MumEP39 *TW* Narcissistic fathers, enabling mothers & childhood sexual abuseOn this week's episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to an anonymous guest who shares her lived experience with an abusive narcissistic father and enabling mother. TW for conversations of childhood sexual abuse. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-11-291h 05Unfollowing MumEP38 *TW* Toxic motherwound, invalidation & silencing sibling sexual abuse with Christie HayesOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Christie Hayes, toxic mother wound coach and therapist about sibling sexual abuse, invalidation and toxic mother wounds.You can find Christie at: https://www.instagram.com/toxic_mother_recovery and via her facebook group Adult daughters breaking free from toxic relationships with their mother. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-11-2248 minUnfollowing MumEP37 Trauma responses & C-PTSD trigger reactionsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about trauma and some of the lesser known trauma responses that we experience after surviving childhood trauma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-11-1540 minUnfollowing MumEP36 Toxic mothers, Spiritual abuse & Hispanic generational trauma with Rebecca DominguezOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to Rebecca Dominguez about her lived experiences with childhood trauma from an abusive mother, the pressures of "family" within the Hispanic community and spiritual abuse. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-11-0159 minUnfollowing MumEP35 Weaponising single parenthood, society's bias & toxic divorceOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of growing up with a single mum after her parent's bitter divorce and the weaponisation of single parenthood by toxic parents. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-10-2527 minUnfollowing MumEP34 The Mother wound & challenging the inner critic with Marie SelleckOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Marie Selleck, a licensed therapist and mother wound coach, about the power of thoughts, the mother wound, challenging our inner critic and breaking the cycle with our own kids. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-10-1848 minUnfollowing MumEP33 Dissecting "An Estranged Parent's POV" MemeOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith looks at a meme entitled "The estranged parent's perspective" and discusses why it's damaging to rebuilding relationships or validating adult children's feelings of hurt following abuse. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-10-1143 minUnfollowing MumEP32 Narcissistic fathers & invalidating teensOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats to "Jasmine" who shares her lived experience story living with a toxic and abusive father, and how she often felt dismissed and invalidated when she reached out for help as a teenager. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-10-0456 minUnfollowing MumEP31 :: Health scares when estrangedOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of a recent health scare and the impact being estranged from her mother had on her fears, resentment and anger. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-09-2731 minUnfollowing MumEP30 TW: Covert sexual abuse & toxic parents datingOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of covert sexual abuse, her mother's toxic dating behaviours and the childhood trauma that comes with parentification & instability. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-08-1641 minUnfollowing MumEp29 Golden children, spirituality & healing with StephenOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Stephen who has shared his lived experience story of a narcissistic mother, childhood trauma and life after estrangement. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-08-0846 minUnfollowing MumEp28 Victim mode, toxic positivity and surface level healing with TriinuOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to women's transformation and empowerment coach Triinu Uprus about healing and moving forwards after trauma. You can find Triinu on instagram at @triinu.co Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-08-0246 minUnfollowing MumEp27 Financial impact of estrangementOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the financial implications of estrangement - a taboo topic within an already taboo topic! Student support, estrangement bursaries, childcare impact and more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-07-2628 minUnfollowing MumEp26 Toxic parents, narcs in disguise & weaponised trauma with Josh ConnollyOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Resilience coach and podcaster Josh Connolly about toxic parents, addiction, weaponised trauma and how narcissistic people disguise themselves. You can find Josh at @josh_ffw on instagram and tiktok. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-07-1958 minUnfollowing MumEp25 Jonah Hill, weaponising "therapy speak" & grief after estrangement On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about Jonah Hill and THAT boundaries text drama, weaponising therapy terminology and the grief after estrangement.You can find Harriet on instagram, tiktok and threads at @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum You can also book a 1:1 empowerment coaching session with Harriet at https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-07-1230 minUnfollowing MumEp24 Long term estrangement & consciously parenting teens with Katie Pratley On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to parent/teen coach Katie Pratley about cycle breaking parenting of teens and her lived experience with parental estrangement over the last two decades.You can find Katie at @thehappywellbeingclub on tiktok and instagram, at her FREE FB group Calm Connected Parent Club as well as her website thehappywellbeingclub.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-07-051h 00Unfollowing MumEP23 Emotional abuse, faking illness & guilt trips with Alexis HigginsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Alexis Higgins about her lived experience with a toxic mother and childhood trauma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-06-281h 10Unfollowing MumEp22 Consumed by trauma, self responsibility & self blameOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks self responsibility vs self blame, challenging the inner critic and why we are so quick to tell people they are "consumed by trauma" when they discuss their experiences. Find Harriet @tobyandroo or @unfollowing_mum on instagram and tiktok or email her at harriet@tobyandroo.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-06-2125 minUnfollowing MumEp21 Importance of talking, toxic parents & trauma with Ben Cole EdwardsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to author and life coach Ben Cole Edwards about the importance of breaking stigma and talking about our trauma, toxic parents and how it impacts us as adults. You can find Ben at Ben Trauma Corner on tiktok, instagram and youtube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-06-1451 minUnfollowing MumEP20 Court, access requests & grandparents rights with AlishaOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Alisha, who shares her lived experience with a toxic parent who took her to court to gain access to her 3 month old grandchild. Alisha shares the court process, from mediation meetings to dealing with CAFCAS and the eventual outcome for her family. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-06-071h 00Unfollowing MumEP 19 Boundaries with Dr DeeringOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to psychologist and Mother/daughter relations personal trainer Dr Michelle Deering about boundaries. Find Dr Deering at: Instagram: https://instagram.com/motherdaughterconnectionsCoffee chat: https://calendly.com/motherdaughterconnections/coffee-chat?month=2023-05Diffuse arguments: https://curativeconnections.ac-page.com/less-arguments Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-05-3128 minUnfollowing MumEP18 Trauma, cycle breaking & overwhelm with Libby WardOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with Libby Ward, digital content creator known as Diary of an Honest Mom, about childhood trauma and overwhelm as a cycle breaking mother. You can find Libby on Instagram at https://instagram.com/diaryofanhonestmom or buy her journal here: https://amzn.to/3VWtz7p Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-05-2457 minUnfollowing MumEP 17 Was it neglect or just "a different time?"On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience with neglect as a child and why growing up with narcissistic parents makes that so difficult to reconcile. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-05-1735 minUnfollowing MumEP 16 Toxic shame with Maggie NickOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks toxic shame and how we can parent our children without shame with therapist & parenting expert Maggie Nick who is known online as Maggie With Perspecticals.You can find Maggie at : https://instagram.com/maggiewithperspectacles and https://www.tiktok.com/@maggiewithperspectacles Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-05-101h 03Unfollowing MumEP 15 Addressing generational trauma in parenting with Dr Emma SvanbergOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks with Dr Emma Svanberg, clinical psychologist and author of Parenting for Humans, about generational trauma, cycle breaking parenting and reparenting yourself. You can find more from Emma at:Instagram: https://instagram.com/mumologistBuy her brilliant book "Parenting for Humans" https://amzn.to/3FaLKyP Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-05-031h 04Unfollowing MumEP 14 Parentification & parental alcoholism with Jemma WilsonOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Jemma Wilson about her lived experience with an alcoholic mother and growing up raising her younger siblings as a teenager. You can find Jemma at https://instagram.com/roseandhoneyphotographer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-04-261h 09Unfollowing MumEP 13 Misconception, excuses & estranged parents on tiktokOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the comments she receives from estranged parents across social media and WHY that happens?! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-04-1928 minUnfollowing MumEP 12 Adopted by a Narcissist with Gaynor CherieAnnOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks candidly with author of An Adoptee's Journey: Letters of my life Gaynor CherieAnn about her experience growing up as an adoptee in a toxic family dynamic with a narcissistic mother. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-04-1252 minUnfollowing MumEP 11 Prince Harry, Jennette McCurdy & the impact of public figures discussing estrangementOn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks about public figures and the impact they have on the societal perception of estrangement and the conversations surrounding it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-04-0524 minUnfollowing MumEP 10 Narcissistic parents with Helen Villiers & Katie McKennaon this episode host Harriet Shearsmith speaks to psychotherapists Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna who specialise in working with adult children of narcissistic parents, healing the effects of parentification and emotional abuse.You can find Helen on instagram & tiktok via @liberationhelen or on facebook with Liberation Therapy and you can find Katie on instagram and tiktok via @katiemckennapsychotherapist . They have a joint podcast called In Sight - Exposing Narcissism whihc you can find on any streaming platform. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-03-291h 13Unfollowing MumEP 9 Childhood trauma & toxic family with Elspeth Van Der HoleOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to Elspeth Van Der Hole about her experience with childhood trauma, toxic family dynamics and surviving estrangement following the death of her father.You can find Elspeth at:https://instagram.com/elspethfithttps://www.elspethillustrates.com/http://www.elspethvanderhole.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-03-221h 26Unfollowing MumEP 8 Estrangement on Mother's DayOn this special Mother's day episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the grief and guilt that surrounds estrangement during holidays, especially days celebrating parental days. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-03-1530 minUnfollowing MumEP 7 Importance of community, estrangement grief & cycle breaking with Abbey WilliamsIn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to the brilliant Abbey Williams (MSW,LSW) about the importance of community, estrangement grief and breaking the cycle as a parent. For more from Abbey, you can find her at:Instagram: https://instagram.com/youthemotherTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/youthemotherHer website for coaching & support: https://youthemother.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-03-0843 minUnfollowing MumEP 6 Lack of Self in adult children of toxic parentsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the lack of self in adult children who are raised by narcissistic and toxic parents. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-03-0128 minUnfollowing MumEP5 Surviving parental alcoholism & abuse with Helene RabbittIn this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats to Helene Rabbitt about her lived experience of estrangement from alcoholic and abusive parents. Lived experiences are a cornerstone of Unfollowing Mum pod, there is comfort in shared experience and knowing that you are not alone. Helene discusses how she found the strength to cut ties with her abusive, alcoholic parents and how childhood trauma has impacted her life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-02-221h 19Unfollowing MumEP4 Addressing the Motherwound with Michaila TysonOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks to mentor and self worth coach Michaila Tyson about the Motherwound. They discuss reparenting yourself, mothering without a positive role model and what it means to do the shadow work involved in healing from a dysfunctional or toxic dynamic with a mother.You can find Michalia and her work:Instagram: https://instagram.com/iammichailatysonTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iammichailatyson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-02-151h 03Unfollowing MumEP3 Access denied :: Cutting off toxic GrandparentsOn this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the legality behind cutting off toxic grandparents and talking to children about estrangement. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-02-0834 minUnfollowing MumEP2 Gratitude, scapegoating & accountability.On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about gratitude and whether that is something that we owe our parents, what scapegoating means and why it's used and asks why is it so hard for parent's of adult children who have cut them off to hold themselves accountable. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-02-0138 minUnfollowing MumEP1 Welcome to Unfollowing MumWelcome to the first episode of Unfollowing Mum, a podcast for cycle breakers by someone who gets it. In this introductory episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about how Unfollowing Mum came into being, shares some of her story, addresses the importance of talking about taboos and looks at what estrangement really means. Remember, whatever you're going through, you're never alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
2023-01-2533 min
Mummin' It PodcastKiran Rahim :: The Munching MedicThis week Harriet chats to the fabulous Kieran Rahim, otherwise known as The Munching Medic. Kieran has a wonderful platform on instagram where she uses her paediatric training to share her knowledge, as well as sharing her life as a mother to three little ones and one on the way. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
2021-08-1135 min
Mummin' It PodcastAlison Perry :: Not another MummyThis week Harriet is chatting to the lovely Alison Perry author of OMG It's Twins and podcast host of Not another Mummy Podcast. They talk candidly about IVF, secondary infertility struggles and having larger age gaps, as well as twin life and postnatal depression. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
2021-08-0441 min
Mummin' It PodcastOla PelovanguWelcome back to season 2! This week Harriet is chatting to the phenomenal social media expert and content creator Ola Pelovangu, and wow did they cover some big topics/crack open some taboos to open the season! From living your life online with kids (from 1:05mins) to pregnancy (from 8:45) to a really deep chat about severing ties in toxic relationships with their own parents and mothering without a mother (from 29mins). See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
2021-07-2858 min
Mummin' It PodcastMolly Forbes :: Body Happy KidsThe Season finale!This week Harriet is talking to the body positive wonder woman that is Molly Forbes. Molly is an author (Body Happy Kids), Body positive and confidence activist and founder of Social enterprise Body Happy Org. Molly is a champion of changing the way we look at weight and health, with the aim to diminish the dire impact that diet culture has on our children and future generations. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
2021-05-1945 min
Mummin' It PodcastJess The Fat Funny OneThis episode Harriet is chatting to the utterly hilarious and wonderfully positive Jess who is better known as The Fat Funny One on instagram. Jess is a powerhouse, from touring the UK at 9 months pregnant with her show to offering her community a positive, empowering (but realistic) look into her life. Talking about the power of positivity, self love and self kindness throughout this wild experience, as well as sharing a giggle over mothering 3 kids, working AND homeschooling! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
2021-05-1250 min
Mummin' It PodcastThe Nurse Mum KayteeThis episode Harriet chats to the wonderful Kaytee, otherwise known as The Nurse Mum, about single parenting a child with disabilities through the pandemic. Kaytee is a qualified nurse and single mum who created an online support community after she had her son Jaxon, she shares their life and experiences with total honesty in a judgement free manner that welcomes everyone. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
2021-05-0536 min
Mummin' It PodcastUnlikely Dad Tom CoxThis episode Harriet is talking to Tom Cox, better known as Unlikely Dad on instagram, about lockdown struggles with an only child, the impact of mental health and life as a working parent through the pandemic. Tom talks candidly about the struggles he's faced over the last year with his husband and son and how they have made it through. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
2021-04-2843 min
Mummin' It PodcastSophie Belle BrownThis episode, Harriet talks to Sophie Belle Brown (One part of youtube duo Sophie & Dave) about all things pregnancy and birth through a pandemic, new motherhood in these strange times and how her experience has shaped her as a new mum. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
2021-04-2131 min