Shows
The Allusionist207. Randomly Selected Words from the DictionaryHappy tenth birthday to this show! To celebrate, here's every randomly selected word from the dictionary from the first decade of the show. Visit theallusionist.org/randomlyselectedwords to read the transcript and get other Tranquillusionist episodes. The podcast is taking a break until early May 2025, but the Allusioverse will continue to be in full swing: become a member at theallusionist.org/donate. You get regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-expanding collection of dictionaries, inside scoops into the making of this show, and watchalong parties - such as Great Pottery Throwdown (2025), and Cold Comfort F...
2025-01-1741 min
The Allusionist206. Bonus 2024It's the annual parade of Bonus Bits - things this year's guests said that I couldn't fit into their episodes, and/or weren't about language, but now is their time to shine. We've got tricorn hats, changing your dog's name, Boston cream pie, parmesan vs vomit, the placebo effect's negative sibling, the universal blank, headache poetry and bawdy riddles. And more! Thanks to, in order of appearance: Joanna Kopaczyk, Juliana Pache, Ben Zimmer, Stacey Mei Yan Fong, A.J. Jacobs, Zazie Todd and Caroline Crampton. Visit theallusionist.org/bonus2024 for the transcript of this episode, more information...
2024-12-2348 min
The Allusionist205. Lexicat, part 2: now with added DogIn Lexicat part 1, we met the author Mary Robinette Kowal and her cat Elsie, and learned about how they communicate via a set of buttons programmed with words. In part 2, two talking dogs, Bastian and Parker - and their humans, Joelle Andres and Sascha Crasnow - join us too, and explain how they discovered some very unexpected things about what their animal companions are thinking and feeling thanks to the buttons, and how they changed the ways they communicate with other humans too. And animal behaviour expert Zazie Todd gives us some tips for interpreting cats’ and dogs’ body lang...
2024-12-0654 min
The Allusionist204. Lexicat, part 1Elsie the cat has a set of 120 buttons programmed with words. She uses them to lie, swear, apologise, express grief and frustration and love to her human, the author Mary Robinette Kowal, who talks about what's involved in learning to communicate via language buttons with companion animals. And animal behaviour expert Zazie Todd explains how animals might be interacting with human language. This is the first half of a two-parter: in the next episode, some talking dogs - and their humans - come to visit, and we hear about the kinds of things you find out about w...
2024-11-2454 min
The Allusionist203. FlytingIn 15th and 16th century Scotland, in the highest courts of the land, you'd find esteemed poets hurling insults at each other. This was flyting, a sort of medieval equivalent of battle rap, and it was so popular at the time that the King himself wrote instructions for how to do it well. Writer and Scots language campaigner Ishbel McFarlane and historical linguist Joanna Kopaczyk explain the art of flyting, where an insult becomes slander, what's going on within the speech act of performative diss-trading, and what the legal consequences could be of being accused of witchcraft. ...
2024-11-0952 min
The Allusionist202. Singlish SinglishThere's so much more to say about Singlish after last episode that we're saying some more of it this episode. Poet and academic Gwee Li Sui, author of Spiaking Singlish: A Companion to how Singaporeans Communicate, describes the resistance he received in Singapore when he published Singlish translations of literary works - and why they are important and celebratory for Singlish. And Stacey Mei Yan Fong, baker and author of 50 Pies, 50 States, explains how the language that used to be embarrassing for her is now a huge comfort. Find out more about the episode and read the...
2024-10-2945 min
The Allusionist201. Singlish"If you grow up being told that one of your first languages, Singlish, is actually a bad version of an already existing language, you kind of get this sense that “I'm just bad at language,” says Bibek Gurung, a former linguist who grew up in Singapore speaking Singlish with his family and friends, while schools and the government tried to quash it. "Language is a fundamental human skill. And to just have this sense that you're bad at this very fundamental skill really does a number to your self esteem and your abilities to communicate in general." Find...
2024-10-1336 min
The AllusionistTranquillusionist: Ex-ConstellationsThis is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, give your brain a break by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue with words that don't make you feel feelings. Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be stimulated. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to soothe your brain and for you to learn very little, except for something about Zeus's attitude to bad drivers. There's a collection of other Tranquillusionists at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, on themes including champion dogs, Australia's big things, gay animals and more...
2024-09-2833 min
The Allusionist200. 200th episode celebratory quiz!I can scarce believe that I've made 200 episodes of this show, but here we are! To celebrate, here is a quiz about language where all the questions were set by YOU, the beautiful brainy listeners. Play along with me - there's a score sheet you can use over at theallusionist.org/200, plus the episode's transcript and links to more information about some of the topics. If you want to help me celebrate this podcast making it to 200 episodes, recommend it to someone! Word of mouth/virtual mouth is the best way for a podcast to find new...
2024-09-1447 min
The Allusionist199. 199 ideas that I hadn't made into podcasts yetNext episode is the 200th, therefore this is the 199th. I raid the 66 pages of ideas for episodes I have been keeping for nearly a decade, and present to you 199 that I have not yet made into podcasts (except for this one). Find the episode's transcript, plus more information about the topics therein, at theallusionist.org/199ideas. If you fancy concocting a quiz question for the imminent 200th episode, go to theallusionist.org/quiz to submit it; your deadline is 6 September 2024. To help fund this independent podcast, take yourself to theallusionist.org/donate...
2024-08-3037 min
The Allusionist198. Queer Arab GlossarySince 2019, Marwan Kaabour has been collecting Arabic slang words used by and about queer people, first for the online community Takweer, and now the newly published Queer Arab Glossary. "When researching for this book, I discovered so much of the sociopolitical, cultural, linguistic, and historical layers that make up the words," he says. He also discovered quite a lot about frying, white beans and worms (metaphorical ones). Find the episode's transcript, plus more information and links to Marwan's work, at theallusionist.org/queerarabglossary. NEWSLUSIONIST: The new Allusionist live show Souvenirs is going on...
2024-08-1240 min
The Allusionist197. Word Play 7: Word SportAt the Scripps National Spelling Bee, behind the spectacle of kids vying to be champion spellers, a whole lot of work goes on to make words into this word sport. Offering a peek into the apiary are the Bee's executive director Corrie Loeffler, and Ben Zimmer and Jane Solomon from the Bee's word panel. Find out more about this episode, get the transcript, hear the other Beelusionist episode about the Spelling Bee, and listen to the rest of the Word Play series, at theallusionist.org/wordsport. And visit spellingbee.com for all the information about this year's...
2024-06-3044 min
The Allusionist196. Word Play 6: BeeingI went to the 2024 Scripps National Spelling Bee, to marvel at kids spelling words I had mostly never even heard of. But when you’re at Bee Week, the competitive spelling is merely the tip of the icebee. Find out more about this episode, get the transcript, and listen to the rest of the Word Play series, at theallusionist.org/beeing. And visit spellingbee.com for all the information about this year's tournament. Members of the Allusioverse also got daily Beecaps from my time at Bee Week, so if you want to read those, head to...
2024-06-101h 00
The Allusionist195. Word Play 5: 100 Pages of SolvitudeCain's Jawbone, a murder mystery cryptic puzzle novella in the form of 100 pages presented in the wrong order, has many millions of possible solutions but only one that is correct. 86 years after it was published, writer, comedian and crossword constructor John Finnemore solved it. And then, craving another 100-page cryptic puzzle murder story, he wrote his own. Get the transcript of this episode, and find links to more information about the people, puzzles and topics therein, at theallusionist.org/solvitude. The original Cain's Jawbone by Edward Powys Mathers, and John Finnemore's new The Researcher's First Murder, are...
2024-05-2835 min
The Allusionist194. Word Play 4: Good GridsExciting things have been happening with crossword puzzles in the US: more constructors, more outlets to get puzzles published, clues and answers that would never have appeared even a few years ago, and puzzle packs raising a whole lot of money for charities and humanitarian causes. You hear from crossword constructor extraordinaire Erik Agard, Juliana Pache of BlackCrossword.com, Rachel Fabi of These Puzzles Fund Abortion, and Adrian Johnson from Puzzles for Palestine. Get the transcript of this episode, and find links to more information about the people, puzzles and topics therein at theallusionist.org/g...
2024-05-1348 min
The Allusionist193. Word Play 3: Lemon DemonAJ Jacobs makes The Puzzler podcast, wrote The Puzzler book, and sometimes turns his whole life into a puzzle. He comes bearing word games, explanations of anagrams being used to precipitate wars and were key evidence in trials, tips for writing with a quill, below-the-knee insults, and tales of living constitutionally. AJ's new book is The Year of Living Constitutionally: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Constitution's Original Meaning. Find his work at AJJacobs.com. Get the transcript of this episode, and get links to more information about the topics therein and the other...
2024-04-2352 min
The Allusionist192. Word Play part 2This episode, and the next couple of episodes, are about word games! Today, Joshua Blackburn recounts how his sons' uninspiring English homework led to him inventing the language quiz game League of the Lexicon; and Kathryn Hymes and Hakan Seyalıoğlu of Thorny Games explain how they make topics like language loss and deciphering alien language into creative play. Get the transcript of this episode, and find links to more information about the topics therein, at theallusionist.org/wordplay2. Word Play part 1, featuring Leslie Scott from Oxford Games, is nine years down your podfeed....
2024-04-0944 min
The Allusionist191. HypochondriaThe word 'hypochondria' has travelled from meaning physical ailments in a particular region of your body, to ones that are only in your mind. It has been in fashion, and thoroughly out; it has been subject to a range of treatments; it has been lucrative for quacks; and it's a very understandable form of anxiety - which I have, and so does Caroline Crampton, author of the new book A Body Made of Glass: A History of Hypochondria. Content note: this episode contains a lot of discussion about health anxiety. There are mentions of cancer, doctors and h...
2024-03-2352 min
The Allusionist190. Craters"It's quite a big undertaking going through every named feature in the whole solar system and trying to find out who that person was." When PhD student Annie Lennox discovered a crater on Mercury, she got the chance to name it. Which sent her on a bigger space mission. Content note: this episode contains mentions of, but not descriptions of, sexual violence. Get the transcript of this episode, and find links to more information about the topics therein including how to get involved with the next planetary hackathon, at theallusionist.org/craters.
2024-03-1139 min
The AllusionistTranquillusionist: Person In SceneThis is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, soothe your brain by saying a load of words that don’t really mean very much, to give you an emotional break by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue with something you can benignly ignore. Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be energised. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to rest your brain and for you to learn nothing. If you like it, there's a collection of tranquillusionists at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, on themes including champion do...
2024-02-261h 05
The Allusionist189. Mouthful of FortuneAt Lunar New Year, certain foods are particularly lucky to eat. Why? Because in Chinese, their names are puns on fortunate things. Damn, maybe noodles are all it takes to get me into puns after all... Professor Miranda Brown, cultural historian of China specialising in food and drink, explains the wordplay foods of new year, and why names are so resonant in Chinese. Get the transcript of this episode, and find links to Miranda Brown's work and more information about the topics therein, at theallusionist.org/fortune. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman...
2024-02-1027 min
The Allusionist188. LipreadLipreading has been in the news this month, thanks to gossip-stoking mouth movements at the Golden Globes that the amateur lipreaders of The Internet rushed to interpret. But lipreading tutor Helen Barrow describes how reading lips really works - the confusable consonants, the importance of context and body language - and gossip maven Lainey Lui explains why these regularly occurring lipreading gossip stories are unworthy of a second or even first glance. Get the transcript of this episode, and find links to the guests and more information about the topics therein, at theallusionist.org/lipread. ...
2024-01-2842 min
The Allusionist187. Bonus 2023It's our annual end of year parade of all the extra good stuff this year's podguests talked about, including a mythical disappearing island, geese, human dictionaries, the dubious history of the Body Mass Index, Victorian death department stores, and much more. In order of appearance, we hear from: Translator and author Caetano Galindo on how the countril Brazil got its name Lexicographer and Countdown's Dictionary Corner-er Susie Dent on pleasing words Academic and collector of dictionaries Lindsay Rose Russell on walking dictionaries and sleeping dictionaries Writer and Maintenance Phase cohost Aubrey Gordon on the origins and...
2023-12-2459 min
The Allusionist186. RavelsWe’ve got knitting! We’ve got eponyms!! We’ve got knitting eponyms!!! Which come with a whole load of battles, f-boys, duels, baseball, espionage, scandals - and socks, lots of socks. Fibre artist and Yarn Stories podcaster Miriam Felton discusses why grafting should ditch the name 'kitchener stitch'; we learn about the eponymous cardigan; and three towns in Ontario take pretty different approaches to having problematic namesakes. Content note: this episode contains mentions of war, death and injuries. Get the transcript of this episode, and find out more about the topics therein, at the...
2023-12-1233 min
The Allusionist185. Gems and PattiesWe’re returning to the theme of renaming, for two food-related renamings: the first one that mostly happened, the second that mostly did not - but in a good way. Dr Erin Pritchard persuaded a British supermarket to rebrand a type of sweets that had a slur in their name. And Chris Strikes recounts the renaming conflict that was the Toronto Patty Wars of 1985. Content note: the first part of the episode concerns an ableist slur, so there are incidences of that slur, and discussion of ableism and later anti-Black racism. Get the tr...
2023-11-2036 min
The Allusionist184. MisophoniaThe word 'misophonia' describes a condition that statistically, 20 per cent of you have: an extreme reaction to certain sounds. "For me, it was a relief to have a word for what I'd been experiencing," says Dr Jane Gregory, author of the new book Sounds Like Misophonia: How to Stop Small Noises from Causing Extreme Reactions, "because I thought for a long time that I was really uptight or maybe a bit controlling over other people, and that that was a problem with my character, as opposed to it actually being a problem with the way that my brain processes s...
2023-11-0652 min
The Allusionist178. UranusHave you ever wondered why the planets in our solar system are all named after Roman deities, except two of them? One of those exceptions is Earth. The other is Uranus. Content note: there are mentions of Ancient Greek and Roman deities and their terrible sexual behaviours and violent vengeance. Also category B and C swears. Find more information about this episode and a transcript at theallusionist.org/uranus. This episode was written, performed and produced by Helen Zaltzman and Martin Austwick. The Allusionist's online home is theallusionist.org. Stay in touch at f...
2023-06-2426 min
The AllusionistTranquillusionist: Gay AnimalsThis is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a load of words which aren’t really about anything, so that your brain gets a little gentle diversion from thinking and/or feeling. Today: a list of gay animals. Find a transcript at theallusionist.org/gay-animals. Several other Tranquillusionists and nearly 200 Allusionist episodes that are actually about something - are at theallusionist.org. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get glimpses into how the podsausage is made, regular livestreams and watchalong parties, AN...
2023-06-1027 min
The Allusionist177. Fat part 2“The starting point is, and the research questions are all framed by: 'We know it's terrible to be fat, but how terrible is it?' Not: 'What would it take to give effective healthcare to fat people?'” says Aubrey Gordon, writer of the new book You Just need to Lose Weight and 19 Other Myths About Fat People, star of the documentary Your Fat Friend, and podcaster of Maintenance Phase. And it's not just healthcare where the alignment of 'fat' with 'unhealthy' - and 'thinner' with 'healthier' - becomes problematic and often very dangerous. "I really don't think people conte...
2023-05-2546 min
The Allusionist176. Fat part 1It should just be an accurate descriptor of my body, but the word 'fat' has shaped so much more of my life, and our society. "There is this whole set of baggage that we are all culturally bringing to this word all the time," says Aubrey Gordon, writer of the new book You Just need to Lose Weight and 19 Other Myths About Fat People, star of the documentary Your Fat Friend, and podcaster of Maintenance Phase. In the next episode, Aubrey and I will discuss how the word 'fat' is often aligned with 'unhealthy', despite ample research d...
2023-05-1230 min
The Allusionist175. Eurovision part 2Oh, you thought the Eurovision Song Contest was about songs? Or a fun international TV event that brings people together in lots of different countries? Or watching extremely vigorous dance numbers? OK, it is, but it's also about some pretty thorny language-related politics. Historian Dean Vuletic, author of Postwar Europe and the Eurovision Song Contest, discusses Eurovision's many linguistic controversies, and the ways the contest has been exploited politically - and caused political kick-offs too. This is the second instalment of a two-part Eurovisionallusionist. In the first part: a whole lot of tussling about which languages to c...
2023-04-2233 min
The Allusionist174. Eurovision part 1There aren't many multilingual, multinational television shows that have been running for nearly seven decades. But what makes the Eurovision Song Contest so special to me is not the music, or the dancing, or the costumes that range from spangletastic to tear-off: no, it's the people butting heads about language. Historian Dean Vuletic, author of Postwar Europe and the Eurovision Song Contest, recounts the many changes in Eurovision's language rules, and its language hopes and dreams. This is the first of a two-part Eurovisionallusionist. In the next instalment: dictators. Protests. Boom Bang-A-Bang Ding-a-Dong Diggi-Loo Diggi-Ley. Find out m...
2023-04-0733 min
The Allusionist173. Death"You can't redead the dead by you saying something shit," says Cariad Lloyd of Griefcast and author of You Are Not Alone; nevertheless when you're bereaved, people still are usually so nervous to say the wrong thing that they often don't say anything at all. And especially not the word 'dead'. Maybe what we need, says council funeral officer Evie King, author of Ashes To Admin, is a "jazzy snazzy term for death, the 'bottomless brunch' of death..." Content warning: this episode is about death*. And it contains mentions of cancer and Parkinson’s, and there are se...
2023-03-2448 min
The Allusionist172. A Brief History of Brazilian Portuguese"The myths, or the received wisdom, about Portuguese language in Brazil is that, of course we know we speak a very different version of the language, but this has always been explained to us as maybe perhaps a defect of sorts?" says linguist and translator Caetano Galindo, author of Latim em Pó, a history of Brazilian Portuguese. "You look deeper into things and you find you have to wrap your mind around a very different reality.” Content note: this episode discusses the enslavement of African people. Find out more about this episode and get extra info...
2023-03-1040 min
The Allusionist171. SupplantationLast episode, I mentioned that in London, Ontario, in 2019 a 9-year-old named Lyla Wheeler had launched a petition to rename her street, currently called Plantation Road. This episode, Lyla, now aged nearly thirteen, and her mom Kristin Daley recount the reasons why Lyla campaigned for this name change, how the neighbours reacted, what happened when the wider world heard about it, and why the street's name is still Plantation Road. I hope you will not be deterred from campaigning for different, better words. Content note: the episode contains references to enslavement of Black people and...
2023-02-2430 min
The Allusionist170. Actively PassiveOver the past few years, numerous products and places with the word 'plantation' in their names have rebranded. As for the word 'plantation' itself, architect and writer Kennedy Whiters of unRedactTheFacts.com advocates for replacing it with a more truthful term. She also watches out for use of the grammatical passive voice, because "It hides who did what to whom." Content note: this episode contains discussions of anti-Black racism, violence and sexual violence. This is an instalment of the Telling Other Stories series, about renaming. Find out more about this episode and get extra information ab...
2023-02-1028 min
The Allusionist169. The BoxErwin Schrödinger is one of the "fathers of quantum mechanics". He also sexually abused children. Trinity College Dublin recently denamed a lecture theatre that had been named after him - but his name is still on an equation that won the Nobel Prize for physics. And a cat. Writer and historian Subhadra Das recounts how and why you rename a university building, and retired physicist Martin Austwick considers that renaming an eponymous equation or theory might be more difficult than unscrewing a sign from a wall. This is an instalment of the Telling Other S...
2023-01-2841 min
The Allusionist168. DebutsThere’s been a recurring theme on the show over the years, of filling gaps in language, removing stigma and bias, finding better ways to express ourselves and talk about our feelings and our bodies. Today Kalle Rocklinger, sex educator with RFSU, the National Association for Sexuality Education in Sweden, talks about how and why over the years, the RFSU has come up with and publicised new terms for body parts and sexual acts, and what they would still like to change. This is the first part of the Telling Other Stories series, about renaming things. Content no...
2023-01-1336 min
The Allusionist167. Bonus 2022What do the hippocampus, homophones, Little Women, worrying and egg hacks have in common? They all star in the 2022 parade of Allusionist bonus bits! This year's guests provide some extra fascinating facts, thoughts and feelings: in order of reappearance, Jing Tsu, Morénike Giwa Onaiwu, Tim Clare, Stephanie Foo, Lewis Raven Wallace, Charlotte Lydia Riley, Hannah McGregor, Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. Content note: there's an allusion to bawdy talk, one category A swear, discussions of mental health, and a brief reference to parental violence. Get extra information about the topics in this episode and fi...
2022-12-1739 min
The Allusionist166. Fiona part 2“I don't think that anyone should come away from this conversation not wanting to use the name Fiona. I think this is a beautiful and rich history. It might not be quite the history that you imagined, but I think it's a beautiful history," says writer and performer Harry Josie Giles. She and PhD researcher Moll Heaton-Callaway investigate this complicated name with fascinating history. This is the second half of a pair of episodes about the name Fiona; listen to the first episode before this one! theallusionist.org/fiona1. Find out more about this episode and get ex...
2022-12-0534 min
The Allusionist165. Fiona part 1A lot of people assume that Fiona is a very old Scottish name, but the first known Scottish Fiona is from the 1890s: Fiona Macleod, the enormously popular novelist of Scotland's Celtic Revival movement. But when she suddenly stopped writing in 1905... there turned out to be far more surprises about Fiona Macleod than the novelty of her name. Writer and performer Harry Josie Giles and PhD researcher Moll Callaway-Heaton consider the first Scottish Fiona. This is part one of a pair of episodes about the name Fiona; part two will explore the etymology of the name and...
2022-11-2242 min
The Allusionist164. EmergencyWhen is a war not a war? When the British Empire called it an 'emergency' so they didn't have to abide by wartime rules or lose their insurance payouts. Artist and researcher Sim Chi Yin reflects on the Malayan Emergency, a 12-year conflict that doesn't get talked about much now by either side; and historian Charlotte Lydia Riley considers the various reasons why the British opted for the term 'emergency', and why they don't celebrate even when they supposedly won them. Find out more about this episode and get extra information about the topics therein at theallusionist...
2022-11-0743 min
The Allusionist163. Rhino Borked GuyProvoked by current events, we've got three political eponyms for turmoiled times. Get ready for explosives, presidential pigs, Supreme Court scrapping, and wronged rhinos. Content note: there is some description of torture about halfway through the episode. Find out more about this episode and get extra information about the topics therein at theallusionist.org/rhino, where there's also a transcript. The Allusionist's online home is theallusionist.org. Stay in touch at twitter.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow and instagram.com/allusionistshow. The Allusionist is produced by me, Helen Zaltzman. The music...
2022-10-2135 min
The Allusionist162. Self-HelpSelf-help is a multibillion dollar genre of books, and Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg of By the Book podcast have lived by the advice of more than eighty of them. They discuss the ways these books use language to get into your brain, the negging and the euphemisms, what can actually be helpful, and why we should be more like dog. Content note: we discuss dieting and sizeism, and there are fleeting mentions of rape and abuse. There are also category A and B swears. Find out more about this episode and get extra information a...
2022-10-0838 min
The Allusionist161. SentimentEmpathy and kindness can be noble concepts in themselves, but as terms are thrown around enough to have become buzzwords, and in the process lose some of their meaning and purpose. Audiomakers Sandhya Dirks and Julia Furlan, and academic and podcaster Hannah McGregor, discuss the value and pitfalls of appealing to the emotions. Content note: there are mentions of parental death, cancer in adults and babies, and suicide. There are also a few category B swears. Find out more about this episode and get extra information about the topics therein at theallusionist.org/sentiment, where...
2022-09-2441 min
VMIVMI: Village Mostly Invisible, an investigation of BrigadoonA LONG TIME AGO IN THE 1954 MGM MUSICAL BRIGADOON: New York City gents Gene Kelly and Van Johnson are lost in the Scottish Highlands! They want to shoot some birds, but instead stumble upon a village that’s not on the map… Brigadoon! Everyone’s dancing around the town and preparing for a wedding that evening; meanwhile, sister of the bride Cyd Charisse gets to fall in love with Gene Kelly on the heathery hillsides. But something’s weird, and it’s not just the fake Scottish accents, the very tight tartan trousers, the two-dimensional mountains and all the day-dr...
2021-12-1659 min
VMIVMI: Vanquishing Malevolent Invaders, the crimes of Home AloneA LONG TIME AGO IN HOME ALONE: In an enormous house in Chicago, the enormous McAllister family is preparing to leave for a Christmas trip to Paris. But, when designated naughty child Kevin causes a ruckus at dinner, he is sent to sleep in the attic as punishment. Then in the chaos of being such an enormous family with shitloads of kids, the McAllisters accidentally fly off to Paris without Kevin, leaving him Home Alone. Thus, an 8-year-old who has never even packed a suitcase before has to fend for himself in a hostile adult world. AND fend...
2021-11-1135 min
VMIVMI: Voluptuous Male Idiot (Play It Again Dick recap)A LONG TIME AGO ON THE VERONICA MARS SPIN-OFF WEB SERIES PLAY IT AGAIN DICK: Ryan Hansen persuades the CW suits to let him make a pilot for a Dick Casablancas spin-off show. So then he has to persuade the Veronica Mars actors to come back to reprise their roles... And then they all film Private Dick! Wherein Dick Casablancas is a private detective investigating the murders of several beloved Veronica Mars characters. There are masks! Punchings! Sexytimes! Pull-ups! Ghost Cassidy Casablancas! And bikinis as funeral-wear! And a catchphrase that never really takes off? Oh and a big...
2021-10-1554 min
VMIVMI 1.01 Pilot: the RErecapA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • We meet Veronica Mars! High school detective with tiny jackets and flowbee hair, plus a heartbreak, an absent mother, a murdered best friend and a rape to deal with. • We meet Logan Echolls, a rich boy with a rage problem. • We meet Duncan Kane, a human screensaver. • We meet Wallace Fennel, taped to a flagpole then recruited to do Veronica’s bidding for the next several years. Wallace, we have seen the future and you should run! Now! Run! • We meet Sheriff Lamb, local law enforcement with bad joke...
2021-09-161h 19
VMIQ&A and LoDown SpecialJoin Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and our resident legal expert Lo Dodds to answer your questions, and find out all about why you shouldn't represent yourself in court, what you have to do to get a jury trial or a marriage license, whether Veronica has sadness-clothes, and whether showrunners could stop mining the traumas of young female characters for drama. Our next episode will be our rerecap of the pilot - join us to simulwatch one of the finest episodes of television of our lifetimes on 28 August 2021, at 10pm UK time, 5pm ET, 2pm PT - or...
2021-08-2538 min
VMIVMI second birthday celebrations!Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and our resident legal expert Lo Dodds to celebrate the completion of the second year of Veronica Mars Investigations, with a parade of outtakes - about what happens to police dogs when they retire, how old is too old to join the FBI, gambling with pasta, and the very real dangers of huffing petrol (especially at any point in time since the Great Depression). Also! We have news about what we’ll be doing for the grand finale of Veronica Mars Investigations! We will be ending at the beginning, with a rere...
2021-08-1827 min
VMIVeronica Mars Investigations Investigations season 4Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman are joined again by Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 and try to solve its many remaining mysteries, including (but not limited to): who is the fifth lady of Veronica Mars? Will we ever get more Veronica Mars, and in which forms? Why has it taken so long for Veronica to have a fun night out?? Was Logan fridged? What IS 'fridged'? And was Jane The Therapist the criminal mastermind behind all of it??? Content note: Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes discussions referring to murder...
2021-08-111h 01
VMIVMI 4.08 Years, Continents, BloodshedA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: A thing happens that turned the Marshmallows into Burnt Marshmallows, turned Veronica into a widow, and turned our twitter mentions into a shitshow whenever we said anything even slightly critical of Logan. But before that: this season wraps up some plots! Dodie and Alonzo behead Richard Casablancas, with Matty looking on, and Clyde smiling the tiniest hint of a smile, even pauses on eating his sandwich for a moment. Matty sells the Maloof ring to fund the reopening of the Sea Sprite, the only bit left of the Old Neptune boardwalk, b...
2021-07-281h 36
VMIVMI 4.07 Gods of WarA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Well after last episode where people told each other the plot, things are actually happening! Penn is, at last, the suspect for three of the bombings. Hot on his trail, the Marses interrupt his sexy minibreak with Carol to grab him and get that $250,000 reward - but Dodie and Alonzo show up to take out Veronica! But then, the PCHers turn up! and Weevil calls off the killing with a bat of his very powerful eyelashes. Richard Casablancas buys Matty a car to persuade her to sell him the Sea Sprite, bu...
2021-07-221h 11
VMIVMI 4.06 Entering a World of PainA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: OK, here’s what we know about the bombings now: Big Dick did the Sea Sprite one. Clyde did the Perry Walsh one. The rest are still unaccounted for - but there might be something in the FBI’s theory that a serial killer has been operating in Neptune for years, so the Marses investigate some deaths registered as accidental but maybe not. Big Dick and Clyde know that Keith knows that they’ve been buying up property with all those shell companies and leaving dead ducks in Penn’s bed. Places Ve...
2021-07-141h 13
VMIVMI 4.05 Losing StreakA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • Nicole and Veronica get high together, shoot guns together, and tell each other their secrets - except one, which is that Nicole sold Comrade Quack’s to a buyer who is Richard Casablancas wearing a plastic nose and false moustache, stacked on top of two other Richard Casablancases in a really big trenchcoat. • Keith also does some shooting, when Clyde takes him duck hunting and leaves his phone unattended near a Mars. But the text messages Keith snoops into put him off the theory that Clyde and Big Dick are beh...
2021-06-301h 17
VMIVMI 4.04 Heads You LoseA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • The themes of the season, bombs and beheadings, combine, as a spring breaker who’s been spiking women’s drinks gets a bomb strapped around his neck. • The Marses, Matty and the murderheads are still shuffling around their various theories about who the bomber is: Big Dick and Clyde trying to kill the Spring Break business for property prices; or the Maloofs, for reasons that nobody can really be arsed with any more. • Daniel Maloof is regretting ordering the hit on the Carrs, but too late! Dodie and Alonzo have video...
2021-06-151h 00
VMIVMI 4.03 Keep Calm and Party OnA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • Daniel Maloof’s having a shit one. He is being blackmailed because he was videoed masturbating to a cam girl. He’s still being accused of murder by Penn all over the TV. He is kidnapped, strung up, stoned and dickpunched by the Carrs. Then he is rescued by Alonzo and Dodie, who are going to kill him - but Daniel turns the tables! And the other side is also really shitty. • Sea Sprite Bombing Suspect of the Week is Matty’s pick: mole-having gum vending machine-filling Perry, who blows himself up...
2021-06-091h 17
VMIVMI 4.02 Chino and the ManA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • Pizza delivery Penn is making the most of his post-bombing notoriety - he’s on TV accusing Congressman Daniel Maloof of murdering his brother’s girlfriend Tawny! • Matty from the motel is doing her own detectiving - maybe whoever refilled the vending machine put some exploding gum in there? Her investigation leads her to Liam Fitzpatrick urghhhh, but phew, Veronica rescues her. • And the Maloofs are rescued from Tawny’s violent family by Logan doing some professional punching. • He also punches his kitchen cabinet, as Veronica is hot for angry violent...
2021-05-191h 09
VMIVMI 4.01 Spring Break ForeverA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • SPRING BREAK!! Neptune is full of douchey boys and drunk girls, what could possibly go wrong?? • What goes wrong? A bomb goes off at the party motel, that’s what’s wrong! Killing four people, one of whom is the nephew of El Despiadado, a MEXICAN CRIME LORD oh Rob Thomas, must we? • We must, and El Despiadado must send two guys to Neptune to chop off the head of whoever’s responsible for the bombing. • But they’re not the only family with a stake in this crime: the bro...
2021-05-111h 10
VMIVMI: Mr Kiss and TellA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Mr Kiss and Tell, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham: A young woman has been raped and beaten, and, once again, the Neptune Grand hires Veronica to investigate - only so they don’t get sued for hiring the undocumented worker who has been accused. But, having cleared him, Veronica keeps going with the case, to get justice for the victim, Grace Manning - that’s right, Meg’s little sister. A decade on from being locked in a closet by her parents, and still having a shit time. G...
2021-04-291h 32
VMIVMI: The Thousand Dollar Tan LineA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: The Thousand Dollar Tan Line, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham: Two months have passed since the movie, and it’s SPRING BREAK! Neptune’s popping off! Until two young women disappear, first Hayley and then Aurora, presumed kidnapped. The spring breakers stay away and the Neptune Grand is losing business, so the glamorous owner hires Veronica to investigate the disappearances. This case means Veronica gets back into her sexy disguises to infiltrate house parties run by the heirs to a Mexican drug cartel. Lamb doesn’t care about th...
2021-04-141h 26
VMIVMI the movie, part 2A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Veronica has choices to make! NYC or Neptune? Lawyering or detectiving? Piz or Logan? Try to guess, go on, guess. Armed with her favourite tools, a bug, a long lens and a taser, Veronica closes in on Carrie’s murderer... ...And it’s not any of the candidates you thought it might be in the first half of the movie - it’s the guy you barely saw at all, Cobb! Who? Cobb! You remember Cobb. Cobb! The death toll rises - Deputy Sacks, Gia, possibly a cat - and our beloved...
2021-03-241h 15
VMIVMI the movie, part 1A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: 91,585 fans missed the show so much that they kickstarted a movie! The third-highest funded Kickstarter project at that time! So off we all go back to Neptune to see some old pals, like Wallace! Principal Clemmons! Gia Goodman! Sweaty Luke! Corny! Aaaand Logan being suspected of murder. Plus some new pals, like Mac’s hot new hair! Piz’s boss Ira Glass! a new Sheriff Lamb who is just as shitty as the old Sheriff Lamb! And an intense Logan fan in a wig. We’re not so pleased to see the Pizv...
2021-03-171h 28
VMIVMI season 4 pitchesA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Rob Thomas wrote a mini-pilot for a season 4 that involved Veronica becoming an FBI agent, and guess what! It’s full of awful white guys who don’t seem to do anything and leave all the work to Veronica and her new colleague Nish-In-A-Wig - we mean Callie. Callie! Totally new character! Nish goes off to infiltrate a strip club, while Veronica is sent back to high school in a tiny vest, to arrest a pervy principal… ...then she goes to question someone about a bomber but he turns out to BE the...
2021-03-091h 02VMIVeronica Mars Investigations Investigations season 3A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS SEASON 3: Murders! Rapes! Frats! The Dreaded Feminists! Jenny's beautiful wife Mindy! Eggs! Wigs! Bland white boys! Obnoxious white boys! Bland obnoxious white boys! Loganica together! Loganica asunder! Aaaaand... Weevil’s big red toolbox! Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and returning Special Agent LaToya Ferguson, to reopen the cold case files and try to crack some of Veronica Mars season 3's unsolved mysteries, such as: where's Wallace? Why is Lucky-in-a-wig? Is Professor Landry actually hot? Ah screw it, let's all just escape to Jenny's island where she cavorts with her beautiful w...
2021-02-2341 min
VMIVMI 3.20 The Bitch Is BackA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: As we know, sex people never prosper in this show, and Piz is bruised from Logan’s attack and Veronica is humiliated - and ready for revenge. Veronica’s search for the sex tape culprit takes her from Piz to Logan to Dick to Chip to some other asshole Dominick to some other other asshole Gory to the secret society The Castle to JAKE KANE!?!?! Of course, to cap a season that began with the Stanford Prison Experiment, we get the Milgram Experiment; and, unfortunately, it is pe...
2021-02-161h 09
VMIVMI 3.171819 I Know Weevil's Wobble TapesA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Rock star Paul Rudd is here to play a show at Hearst College, to fundraise for Piz’s awful radio station - but oh no! His backing tapes are missing! Presumed stolen! They’re not. A crime-free mystery! New campus celebrity Apollo has written a hit memoir about being a child soldier in Uganda - but WAS he? - and Veronica is hired by someone claiming to be his dad - but IS he? Yes to both. Another crime-free mystery! How relaxing. Until! Remember when Weevil was falsely accused of stealing Vero...
2021-02-101h 41VMIVMI 3.141516 Papa's Un-American Mars BarsA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Veronica’s in jail for helping Josh escape jail - though later she seems to get away with helping Josh get away with kidnapping, obtaining his inheritance early, and fleeing the country. Even though Josh didn’t actually kill his dad - turns out his dad killed his dad, for life insurance purposes. And, it turns out the Dean was killed by Lucky In A Wig, for framing Professor Landry purposes! And, Professor Landry kills Mindy O’Dell! For writing both of them off the show purposes? And, Sheriff Lamb is killed...
2021-01-271h 31
VMIVMI 3.111213 There’s Gotta Be a Poughkeepsie MortemA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Remember Max, that guy who you can pay to cheat on tests? Well he’s fallen in love with a sex worker and wants Veronica to track her down! But it’ll cost him, financially and emotionally. Remember Bonnie, the sexperson who had been dealing with Dick and other frats outside of her relationship with Luckyinawig? Well, she was pregnant, until someone slipped her a pill that caused her to miscarry. Remember the Dean’s wife’s ex-husband Steve? He’s back, because now the Dean’s dead, Mind...
2021-01-191h 25
VMIVMI 3.080910 Lord of the Spit MonkeysA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Real life Patty Hearst plays a fake Hearst; and real life kidnapped person Patty Hearst plays a fake kidnapped person. It’s all something to do with share prices and a rich-people divorce settlement and she AND her husband have both been having affairs with the dog walker? Update on Frats vs Dreaded Feminists: head fratter Chip is found unconscious, with his head shaved and a plastic egg shoved up his bum with a cryptic message inside. And the Dreaded Feminists make Veronica wonder whether all th...
2020-12-191h 25
VMIVMI 3.050607 President Infidelity of Vice and MenA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: The Dean’s wife’s son is dying and they need Keith to track down her ex-husband and extract his bone marrow, by force if need be. The college casino is robbed! Veronica thinks it was Weevil… Turns out, Claire faked her rape. But the rapist is still real, still out there, and drugs and shaves Veronica. Professor Landry’s new teacher’s pet is Veronica, so his old teacher’s pet, Tim, makes it look like she cheated on a paper. Other people...
2020-12-081h 15
VMIVMI 3.020304 My Big Fat Wichita Linebacker Don't SurfA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Veronica infiltrates a sorority to investigate Parker’s rape, and instead finds a secret medical marijuana farm. The ongoing campus rapist plot boils down to frats versus feminists. The two genders! Wallace and Logan participate in some recreation of the Stanford Prison Experiment, and unfortunately we have to endure it with them. Weevil is back! And starts working for Keith! But then punches a suspect, so he’s fired. Logan discovers some financial irregularities that reveal that he has a secret half-brother!...
2020-11-251h 15
VMIVMI 3.01 Welcome WagonA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: College! Veronica’s outsmarting her professors, driving a new car, and getting drunk. Conveniently, Logan, Wallace, Mac and Dick are also all at Hearst College. Along with new roommates/friends: bland white boy Piz, who hires Veronica to find all his worldly possessions, which have been stolen by a fake welcome committee; and Parker, who is punished for being a popular and fun-loving sexperson character by becoming the latest victim of the campus rapist who struck in season 2, and is still attacking women and shaving their heads. ...
2020-11-181h 11
VMIVeronica Mars Investigations Investigations season 2A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Bus crash! People being accused of murders they didn’t do! People being exonerated from murders they did do! Jackie retcons! Secret babies! Sexpeopling! Break-ups! And not enough sightings of Backup! Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and special guest detective LaToya Ferguson to investigate the abiding mysteries of Veronica Mars season 2. Ends? Loose. Herrings? Red. Content note: Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this season included plotlines concerning murder, violence, child abuse and sexual assault. For mor...
2020-10-2239 min
VMIVMI 2.22 Not PicturedA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Everyone graduates high school! Except for Weevil, who is arrested for Thumper’s murder. Keith tracks down Woody to a hunting lodge and gets him arrested for child abuse! While he’s doing that, Veronica identifies Woody’s third victim: Cassidy Casablancas. Who, after stealing Mac’s clothes, gets ready to kill Veronica on the Neptune Grand roof… But Logan saves Veronica, Veronica saves Logan, but nobody can saves Cassidy. Elsewhere in the building, Aaron Echolls enjoys a post-coital cigar until Clar...
2020-10-141h 30
VMIVMI 2.21 Happy Go LuckyA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: There have been some rough episodes of Veronica Mars, but this has to be one of the roughest. Aaron fucking Echolls is found innocent on all charges! And it’s somehow something to do with Veronica getting chlamydia? Fvck! Off!! Woody Goodman is revealed to be a child abuser, and some of the kids in the bus crash were his victims. As was Lucky the janitor, who starts firing a gun at the school, then is shot dead. Terrence Cook is exonerated fr...
2020-10-061h 10
VMIVMI 2.20 Look Who's StalkingA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Helen’s hatred of the incorporation plot turns out to be JUSTIFIED as Woody Goodman uses it as an excuse to fuck over Keith! He can’t take his own unconscious young woman to the hospital, so a reluctant Keith has to do it. But then Woody tells the papers that she was Keith’s unconscious young woman, and you don’t sell out a Mars without your big plan for incorporation failing - UP YOURS, Woody! Also having beef with Woody is Lucky the janitor, who is s...
2020-09-231h 04
VMIVMI 2.19 Nevermind The ButtocksA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: We meet another misfit Neptune boy with a hobby for weapons: Harry, who has a bedroom full of arrows, a wall full of stag heads, and a dog that was killed by a driver of a green Barracuda car… ...which belongs to an old lady who doesn’t drive it, but guess who does? Liam fucking Fitzpatrick, to run his errands, such as:i. Trying to kill Keith Mars, but instead getting whupped by our favourite power dad;ii. Bullying the PCHers so they bring in more...
2020-09-161h 04
VMIVMI 2.18 I Am GodA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: All that bus crash investigating and trying to win the Kane scholarship has left Veronica a very tired teen; she’s falling asleep in class! And having vivid dreams about the bus crash kids - now what’s worse, hearing all about someone else’s dreams, or that the show brought back Miss James to hear all about Veronica’s dreams? She’s not getting back together with Keith, though - he’s off on dates! Lots of dates. But the work always comes first. But there is one lovely new couple: Wall...
2020-09-081h 06
VMIVMI first birthday celebrations!Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to celebrate the first year of Veronica Mars Investigations, with a parade of outtakes and outdated technologies. Hear about Chuck E Cheese and his arch rival in kids’ pizza joints, the Showbiz Pizza undead bear; Xena, Warrior Princess’s horse; why Jenny doesn’t trust birds; Westworld for kids; and the story of Jenny and Helen’s meet-cute over decidedly non-cute Tim Tam Slam wreckage. Content note: this episode contains references to animal cruelty. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official si...
2020-08-2630 min
VMIVMI 2.17 Plan BA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Logan wins Woody Goodman’s essay contest! And the prize is a really boring-looking job at the mayor’s office, spotting Woody in the gym and sorting the mail. ...but then he finds creepy secret video taken from within Woody’s house! He also gets to plunge the detonator to explode Shark Field… …With Thumper inside, chained to a urinal by some angry Fitzpatricks after, at long last, something goes Weevil’s way. And it’s the school Sadie Hawkins dance, and what are school dances for if nobody kisses someone they weren’t s...
2020-08-2153 min
VMIVMI 2.16 The Rapes of GraffA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: It’s the return of two of our season 1 least faves: sex crimes, and TROY. Veronica’s not pleased to see him either, but does agree to help him when he’s accused of raping a Hearst College student and shaving her head. This entails infiltrating a frat house, which seems like the worst place in the world? Meanwhile Cliff has been handcuffed to a bed by a sex worker and had his briefcase stolen, full of evidence about Logan’s murder case. And Sheriff Lamb and Madison Sinclair are hooking up?? Two...
2020-08-1452 min
VMIVMI 2.15 The Quick and the WedA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Like all Wallace’s special ladyfriends, Jane requires Veronica’s services: her sister Heidi went missing after her own bachelorette party! And the wedding’s in three days! Heidi’s got a rich fiance and a past, and these things are incompatible in the Marsverse. Meanwhile, Aaron Echolls is back, marvelling at Kendall Casablancas’s boobs, and asking her for a favour that sends her rooting around in the shower drain. She’s also trying to get Logan to invest in Cassidy’s booming property empire. But good luck with that: Logan’s busy dati...
2020-07-271h 03
VMIVMI 2.14 Versatile ToppingsA LONG TIME AGO, ON VERONICA MARS: After a year and a half of being a one-line character, Corny finally gets his own plotline! One that involves him getting tased by a serial mugger of pizza deliverers. Is the mugger also targeting Neptune High students who are gay and will pay blackmail money not to be outed? And is the mugger also targeting students in interracial relationships? Plus: Logan is dating Hannah to get at her father, the fake witness implicating him in Felix’s murder. Hannah’s none too pleased to be used, but nor is she pleas...
2020-07-211h 01
VMIVMI 2.13 Ain't No Magic Mountain High EnoughA LONG TIME AGO, ON VERONICA MARS: • It’s Neptune High’s winter carnival, to raise money for the school trip - but someone has stolen all the cash! • Who could it be? Weevil?? While he’s taking his adorable niece around the funfair? • Jackie?? In the very brief moment when she’s not being plunged into a tank of cold water by vengeful students? • Logan??? No, he’s off flirting with the latest cute Neptune blonde girl Hannah, stealing her cotton candy and her heart, but with ulterior motives. • Random guy JB...
2020-07-1654 min
VMIVMI 2.12 Rashard and Wallace Go To White CastleA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: That hit and run that sent Wallace back to Neptune is being pinned on our favourite pure-hearted boy! And he has just five days to clear his name! Veronica is on the case, and it involves a limo kidnapping scheme, infiltrating a frat party, and phone theft. Oh and she also plants a camera in a church confessional booth, to find out which PCHer is working for the Fitzpatricks’ drug business and therefore killed Felix. And it’s.…..Thumper! Who also seems to be the le...
2020-07-071h 09
VMIVMI 2.11 Donut RunA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Clue in, donut! Duncan kidnaps his own baby so the evil Manning grandparents can’t add her to their collection of emotionally abused children. Sheriff Lamb is on the case, and so is the FBI - Agent LUCY LAWLESS has come to town for this case! But mainly to neg Lamb. They search for Duncan in a boat, up at Big Bear, in the Mars apartment, in Mexico - but Duncan is GONE. You wouldn’t think he could outwit the law, would you? But… Vero...
2020-06-241h 10
VMIVMI 2.10 One Angry VeronicaA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: OMG, Meg gives birth to Duncan’s baby and then DIES. And Wallace comes back from Chicago! But that’s all in just the last couple of minutes of the show! Before that, we’ve got Veronica doing jury duty and ruining everyone else’s holidays in her pursuit of The Truth… The sex tapes that implicate Aaron Echolls in Lilly Kane’s murder have been stolen from the evidence locker, and TWO of Veronica’s ex-boyfriends are involved… And Lamb is shirtless and sweaty and loving himself, merrrrry Christmas everyone. Join Jenny Owe...
2020-06-1745 min
VMIVMI 2.09 My Mother, The FiendA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: After 1½ seasons about daddies, we get an episode about mothers! Veronica investigates whether her own mom, Lianne, was the high school mean girl. She also investigates whether, 25 years ago, mean girl for life Celeste Kane gave birth on prom night and dumped the baby in the school bathroom. And all this leads to Trina Echolls, Logan’s adopted sister, discovering who her biological mom is. Veronica herself has to practice being a mother, as a school assignment forces her to take care of a robot baby… But brewing up a real, actua...
2020-06-0956 min
VMIVMI 2.08 Ahoy, Mateys!A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Get ready for some violence: Veronica follows the trail of the murder witness right to the crime family the Fighting Fitzpatricks, and nearly gets an unwanted face tattoo for her trouble. Plus: Logan is clonked on the head, bundled into a van and masked interrogators play Russian roulette with his body parts - yes, the PCHers are also investigating the murder, in their own way. Keith’s trying to find the person who is harassing the parents of Marcos, a student who died in the bus cr...
2020-05-261h 01
VMIVMI 2.07 Nobody Puts Baby In A CornerA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: We have a new Duncan: Detective Duncan! Meg had written about a kid she babysat being psychologically abused, and he and Veronica set out to find who it is. Veronica takes on all of Meg’s babysitting gigs, and let’s just say the toxic masculinity of Neptune is flourishing in the under-10s. She also befriends Gia Goodman, which entails going to the sleepover of nightmares - if your nightmares include seeing a child punished, having your boobs mocked, and enduring some extremely basic-bore chat abou...
2020-05-201h 01
VMI2.06 Rat Saw GodA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Logan gets arrested for Felix’s murder, is put in a jail cell with his dad, and his house is burned down. Oof! Abel Koontz turns up - he needs Veronica to find his daughter Amelia DeLongpre, so he can see her before he dies. Amelia took her $3m of Kane fake confession payout, and spent it on international good times - then disappeared in the midst of a foam party in Ibiza. Keith loses the sheriff race, but keeps sniffing around the bus cr...
2020-05-061h 10
VMISpecial Investigation: Pride and PrejudiceA LONG TIME AGO ON THE BBC 1995 MINISERIES OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Bonnets! Balls! Wet shirt!!!! Cousin-marriage?! Rude rich boy is into sassy girl with tiny jacket! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to recap the BBC 1995 miniseries of Pride and Prejudice, which Jenny had never seen, nor indeed had she experienced Pride and Prejudice in any form. Until Helen made her. Because if Wallace, Jackie, Veronica and Duncan are congregating to watch it in S2E03, then so shall we. Thanks to all of you wh...
2020-04-2850 min
VMI2.05 Blast From The PastA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Veronica and Jackie sort of become friends when Jackie asks Veronica to find out who stole her credit card and bought a load of vanilla-scented candles. But they are promptly enemies again when Jackie humiliates Veronica during a televised psychic reading, AND slow-dances with Logan. That’s not even the worst thing our blessed Wallace is dealing with this episode, as he reels from the information that for the past 18 years, his mother covered up who his father is. The contest is heating up be...
2020-04-2155 min
VMI2.04: Green-Eyed MonsterA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Veronica’s latest client, Julie, is rich pretending to be not rich and hires Veronica to investigate her boyfriend, who she fears is not-rich pretending to be rich - keep up! Keith is reluctantly investigating Alicia, who’s lying about a man from her past. And Weevil’s earrings are more than very shiny: they’re important to the plot. Meg is still in a coma, but nonetheless coming between Veronica and Duncan, who has been visiting her every day. But before Veronica...
2020-04-151h 04
VMI2.03 Cheatty Cheatty Bang BangA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Cassidy Casablancas hired Veronica to investigate whether his stepmother Kendall is violating her prenup by cheating on his father. Shock discovery 1: Kendall IS cheating with...Logan! Well, we all knew already, but they didn’t. Shock discovery 2: Richard Casablancas’s property fortune is a great big scam! Jackie’s into Wallace, possibly also into some other dude, but not into Pride and Prejudice and not even Colin Firth can bring her round. Keith and Alicia go on a romantic minibreak to see some j...
2020-04-0747 min
VMI2.02: Driver EdA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Veronica’s BUSY: serving coffee, investigating whether the driver crashed the bus deliberately, and ruining post-coital moments with Duncan. So Detective Wallace handles a case all by himself, and guess what, it’s all in the hope of winning over the gorgeous but hostile Jackie - played by Tessa Thompson! Logan fires guns with Mr Casablancas, and has sex with Mrs Casablancas - not at the same time. Sheriff Lamb sucks SO much that Keith Mars decides to run for sheriff. Kevin Smit...
2020-03-3040 min
VMI2.01: Normal is the WatchwordA LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Keith’s got a book deal! Veronica’s got a new job! And several new shiny vests. We’ve got a new Duncan - happy Duncan??!! Wallace has got a problem with his urine… Logan’s got a murder charge, a broken heart and no friends, but the Casablancases’ hot stepmom is there to cheer him up. There are a whole load of new characters, and a new big tragedy for Neptune: a school bus crashes off a cliff. Join Jenny...
2020-03-241h 10
VMIVeronica Mars Investigations Investigations season 1With VMI season 1 behind us like Clarence Wiedman in a dramatic hat and season 2 hoving into view like Keith Mars in overalls ready to plant a bug, here is a bonus episode investigating unsolved mysteries from Veronica Mars season 1, such as the prudence of hiding stuff in air vents, the appropriateness of having the hots for someone as often awful as Logan, when ARE Veronica and Leo’s birthdays, and whether the sanitary vending machine in Veronica’s toilet office actually vends. For Veronica Mars Investigations Investigations season 1, Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman are joined by deput...
2020-02-1147 min