Shows
Intimate Covenant PodcastSpicing Up Your Sex Life [175]Send us a textMatt and Jenn use a cooking analogy to explore how great married sex requires more than just "spices" – it needs solid foundational ingredients of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical connection.• Adding more spice to bad ingredients doesn't make a dish better; it likely makes it worse.• In struggling marriages, focusing solely on sexual excitement without addressing overall closeness leaves couples unsatisfied• All aspects of intimacy (spiritual, emotional, mental, physical) are interconnected and strengthen each other• The upcoming annual retreat will explore the theme "One" and these interconnected aspects of intimac...
2025-06-3038 minIntimate Covenant PodcastBack to School Special - Growth vs. Fixed Mindset [107]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to shift your mindset toward healthy growth in your marriage.My attitude towards the challenges, conflicts, and obstacles in my relationship will determine the depth of fulfillment and connection that I can attain in my marriage.A fixed mindset limits my potential by focusing on fear, shame, and pride. A growth mindset pursues a deeper relationship by embracing vulnerability, curiosity, and the fulness of love.Join us at the 2022 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 22-24, in Houston, TX. Registration is now open, but s...
2022-08-2241 minIntimate Covenant PodcastEssentials for a Great Quickie [106]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice about how to use quickie sex to improve your sexual relationship.Not every sexual experience has to require the same level of energy and preparation. Define the types of sex that you are having in your marriage.A quickie is a great way to maintain sexual connection even when you or your spouse don’t have the time and energy for something more extraordinary.The best quickie sex happens when each of you has communicated realistic expectations and when you are using sex to build co...
2022-08-1501 minIntimate Covenant PodcastSay What You Mean [105]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn talk about the importance of direct and vulnerable communication for sexual pursuers.Sexual pursuers often struggle to be direct enough to express their sexual desires and expectations in a way that is clearly understood, but not pressuring.Sexual responders may find it difficult to lean into uncomfortable conversations.The most intimate and mutually pleasurable sex life requires constant conversation because sex is not just about what you do with your bodies. Intimate sex requires building relationship.Join us at the 2022 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 22...
2022-08-0845 minIntimate Covenant PodcastDressing Provocatively [104]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn answer an email from a wife questioning whether she should be "dressing up" in a provocative way for her husband.The suggestion from a sexual pursuer to dress in provocative way often meets resistance from a sexual responder. But, the conflict is often much deeper than just style or fashion differences.A sexual responder must be willing to confront the source of her aversion and be honest whether her reasons are helping or hurting the marriage.The sexual pursuer must be willing to confront his motivations for...
2022-08-0145 minIntimate Covenant PodcastReflections on our 25th Wedding Anniversary [103]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share some thoughts about what it means to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. We hope you are encouraged and inspired by this conversation.Some things you should be aware of:Dating Divas Marriage Bundle 2022 -- For more information and to get our unique discount: www.intimatecovenant.com/marriage-bundleBalancing the Christian Life Digital Lecture Series: On Saturday, July 30, Matt & Jenn are speaking on the topic, "Serving My Spouse." For a listing of the schedule and speakers and to p...
2022-07-2541 minIntimate Covenant PodcastTeaching our Girls About "Modesty" [102]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn encourage a more careful and biblical approach to how we teach our girls about "modesty" and how to dress. For centuries, women have been taught that they must diligently cover their bodies in order to prevent men from sinning. But is this idea even found in Scripture? Is this the message of “modesty” passages? Teaching women to shamefully cover themselves from the motivations of fear or humiliation, results in further objectification of their bodies. Instead, let’s teach women to adorn themselves in a way that respects themselves...
2022-07-1832 minIntimate Covenant PodcastBounce Your Eyes - teaching men about dealing with lust [101]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the popular advice that Christian men ought to "bounce their eyes" to avoid lusting after women.A popular method of dealing with the problem of lust is to teach men to “bounce their eyes” and avoid any possible exposure to sexual stimuli. But is this helpful advice, or even scriptural?Rather than avoiding women or suggesting that their bodies are dangerous threats, it is much more loving to see women as Jesus saw them — as souls made in the glorious image of God.As a parent, you sh...
2022-07-1145 minIntimate Covenant PodcastAging & Sex [100]Send us a textIn this milestone episode (number 100!!!), Matt & Jenn discuss how to maintain a vibrant and growing sex life even into old age. We're sharing opinions, perspectives, and advice from some older couples whom we respect, admire, and love.You should absolutely expect that you can have a vibrant and growing sexual relationship for as long as you are alive and married.When we dismiss our own, or our spouse’s, sexuality due to age, or chronic health struggles, we are robbing our relationship of something that inherently defines marriage as God designed it.Ce...
2022-07-0545 minIntimate Covenant PodcastPraying During Sex [99]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss how to add prayer to your sex life.Both prayer and sex can feel awkward because, if done right, each require vulnerability. But prayer is a powerful way to build intimacy and, therefore, passion in your marriage and your marriage bed.Consider adding regular prayer for your sexual relationship and during your sex for deeper spiritual and sexual connection.Join us at the 2022 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 22-24, in Houston, TX. Registration is now open, but space is limited and we expect t...
2022-06-2743 minIntimate Covenant PodcastGenital Hygiene & Grooming [98]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss below-the-belt grooming and hygiene -- pros, cons and reasons why you (or your spouse) might want to do it.Genital grooming and hygiene can be a sensitive topic of conversation because it may trigger feelings of deep shame or rejection.There are many benefits of genital grooming and hygiene including improved experiences giving and receiving sex. However, there are some important logistical considerations and other downsides.Whatever the topic of conversation, lean into the awkwardness so that you can learn more about your spouse and their...
2022-06-2044 minIntimate Covenant PodcastWhen Your Spouse Is OK With Settling [97]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the challenges when your spouse is OK with being just OK. We describe our personal journey toward growing together and some principles to guide your breakthrough toward deeper intimacy.Every marriage has gridlock issues where one spouse is quite content to maintain status quo and the other spouse desires growth and novelty.Fear is the fundamental reason that responders resist growth. To confront this fear, turn from dwelling on your fears and start to focus on reasons for hope. Pursuers, stop focusing on what is missing i...
2022-06-1347 minIntimate Covenant PodcastResponders Learning To Initiate [96]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice and encouragement for sexual responders to learn to initiate sex sometimes.It can be a daunting proposition for a sexual responder to initiate a sexual gift for their pursuer spouse. Their anxiety can come from a number of places including a fear of their own sexuality, fear of their spouse’s sexuality, or a general fear of being inadequate.As a sexual responder, initiating a sexual gift for your pursuer spouse will likely look different than when the pursuer is initiating.That said, offering a se...
2022-06-0639 minIntimate Covenant PodcastTalking to kids about masturbation [95]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn offer advice to a listener about talking to children about the awkward topic of masturbation. Understandably, as parents, it is confusing and challenging for us to know how to guide our kids when it comes to teaching them about their sexuality and, specifically, about masturbation. To be clear, the Bible does not speak specifically about solo masturbation so, this is not a simple “yes” or “no.” conversation with our kids. Therefore, it is most important to teach about the principles that might guide thoughts and behaviors related to...
2022-05-3038 minIntimate Covenant PodcastPerformance Anxiety [94]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn offer advice to a wife (and the rest of us) who is suffering from performance anxiety in the bedroom and having a hard time letting go of her embarrassment and awkwardness.Private, selfish masturbation habits, even those that started before marriage, will have a negative impact on your married sex life. It might be time for you to acknowledge and confront those behaviors.Sex requires vulnerability. The fear sharing all of ourselves can be overwhelming and can definitely stifle our depth of sexual intimacy and pleasure...
2022-05-2341 minIntimate Covenant PodcastNon-Sexual Touch [93]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn consider a question from a husband whose wife desires more "non-sexual touch." What's the difference between sexual and non-sexual touch? Is there a difference between sexual and non-sexual touch? Why might this wife be asking for this?When considering conflict in your relationship, understand that there are always two layers: the first layer is the point of conflict, the deeper layer is the relationship dynamic that is driving the conflict. Each layer must be examined and addressed with humility and ownership.The difference in sexual and...
2022-05-1642 minIntimate Covenant PodcastLive Q&A: Dealing with mental distraction during sex... and much more [92]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share a live Q&A session from our recent seminar in Tampa, FL. We covered questions like:Is masturbation OK?How do I handle when I get distracted or lose my momentum during sex?How do we compromise if my spouse doesn't want to do a specific sexual activity?Dealing with lack of sexual performanceWhat if intercourse if painful?How do we share sexual history and sin?Are there good resources to help us talk to our kids about sex?Join us at the 2022 Annual...
2022-05-0944 minIntimate Covenant PodcastQ&A - Sex and Spirituality [91]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a handful of mailbag questions about sex and spirituality.You can change the culture of fear and shame surrounding sex in your own corner of God’s Kingdom. Start by reshaping your understanding of your own sexuality through the lens of God’s word. Then, use your influence in your community to spread God’s word about holy sexuality and intimate marriage.Consider the benefit of sexual fasting as detailed in 1 Corinthians 7:5 and how to use this spiritual tool to benefit your marriage Pornography and sexual abuse a...
2022-05-0246 minIntimate Covenant PodcastQuestions about the Sexual Pursuer/Responder dynamic [90]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn answer listener questions about some of the nuances of the sexual pursuer/responder dynamic.In all marriages there is a sexual pursuer and a sexual responder. But these roles are not static. In various circumstances and seasons these roles may change in your relationshipOne example is when a pusher is constantly rejected. It is common for this pursuer to stop pursuing and to withdraw emotionally and sexually.Stereotypically, husbands are usually sexual pursuers, but there is a [not small] minority of wives who are the sexual pursuers...
2022-04-2545 minIntimate Covenant PodcastHarnessing Fantasy [89]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the power of sexual fantasy and how to harness this magic for more powerful sex and deeper connection.Fantasy is a story you tell yourself to tap into emotional and sexual arousal. It’s how you choose to be present in your sexual relationship. It’s how you awaken your body to seek and to receive connection.Effective fantasy is dwelling on whatever heightens your sexual awareness and then mindfully bringing your spouse into that. Simmering means intentionally dwelling on fantasy outside the bedroom to heighten your...
2022-04-1847 minIntimate Covenant PodcastHelping Her Orgasm [88]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss factors and tips to improve the sensation, the strength, and the frequency of orgasm -- especially for wives.Orgasm, while not the goal of sex, is an intensely pleasurable point of connection and may be elusive for some, especially wives.Changing the sensation or strengthening the intensity of orgasm can add novelty and improve sexual pleasure for one or both spouses.A number of factors may make orgasm difficult for women but relational strife and emotional stress are the most important negative influences.Listen...
2022-04-1143 minIntimate Covenant PodcastAll About Orgasm [87]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn help us understand the details of orgasm -- including gender physiology differences, health and relational benefits, spiritual parallels and the overall purpose for orgasm.Orgasm, while not the goal of sex, is an intensely pleasurable point of connection with a multitude of relational, emotional, and physical health benefits.There are a number of ways to change the sensation or to strengthen the feelings of orgasm.Ultimately, each person experiences orgasm differently due to their gender and to individual characteristics. Communication is required to maximize each other’s exp...
2022-04-0447 minIntimate Covenant PodcastThe Orgasm Gap [86]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the the "orgasm gap." What is the orgasm gap? Does it exist in your marriage? Is the orgasm gap a problem?The “orgasm gap” refers to the fact that men tend to orgasm with sex at much higher frequency than women.The significance of the orgasm gap in your marriage depends on many factors and may or may not be problem for your relationship.If either of you is unsatisfied with the orgasm gap in your marriage, you need to have conversation about the significance of sexu...
2022-03-2839 minIntimate Covenant PodcastLive Q&A (fantasy, talking to kids, love languages, wife's body insecurity...) [85]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share recorded excerpts from the live Q&A session at our recent Louisville, KY seminar (shout out to all of our new friends!!!) We covered topics such as:I have unwanted sexual thoughts and memories when I try to orgasm? What do I do with these fantasies?My bids for connection are unnoticed and ignored. How can I get my spouse to acknowledge my needs for emotional/sexual connection?My spouse and I have different Love Languages. Can we still learn to connect?How do I talk...
2022-03-2141 minIntimate Covenant PodcastAnal Sex [84]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss anal sex in marriage -- is it biblical? what are the benefits? risks? and motivations?The bible does not specifically promote nor prohibit anal sex or anal play by a married couple.Anal play, including prostate massage, may be enjoyable for some. While some do, most women do not enjoy anal intercourse which carries significant risk.As with any sexual novelty, carefully consider your motivation and whether this activity will promote oneness.Join us at the 2022 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 22-24...
2022-03-1401 minIntimate Covenant PodcastMore Purity Myths [83]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn look at a few more myths that were encouraged by the Purity Culture Movement which still persist in many conservative religious circles. For example:“If I save myself for marriage, my sex life will be amazing.” “If I marry a Christian, my marriage will be happy.”“Marriage is the solution to your sex problem (lust, porn) and your loneliness problem.”“Men’s minds are evil. Women’s bodies are evil.” “Women are responsible for a man’s sexual feelings, thoughts and actions.”Sexual purity means that your whole being...
2022-03-0738 minIntimate Covenant PodcastSexual Purity Myths [82]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge your definition of "purity" and tackle some myths propagated by the Sexual Purity Movement.Purity means that your whole being is filled and directed by one thing: God. Sexual purity is not merely about what we are doing or not doing with our genitals!It is dangerous theology when we come to believe and teach that sex is evil, men can’t control sexual urges, women’s bodies are inherently a stumbling block, and that virginity is idolized.Instead, let’s simply teach that God blessed us with...
2022-02-2835 minIntimate Covenant PodcastAnother Mailbag Episode (handling rejection, finding a therapist, bible study, sensitive topics) [81]Send us a textIn this episode Matt & Jenn answer another handful of listener questions, including:How to handle daily excuses for not having sex.How to find a qualified godly therapist.Recommendations for couples bible study.Dealing with sensitive topicsAs you consider these questions and our answers, take note of the important issues and dynamics in your own relationship. Be willing to ask the hard questions and be confronted by the truth.Join us at the 2022 Annual Marriage Retreat, September 22-24, in Houston, TX. Registration is now open, but...
2022-02-2136 minIntimate Covenant PodcastMailbag Q&A (scheduling sex, special needs child, church resistance, get-aways) [80]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn dig into the mail bag for a potpourri of topics including:Can scheduling sex still be romantic?How to prioritize your marriage when facing the challenges of raising a special needs child?Have we ever been met with resistance by church leaders for talking about marriage and sex?Do you have any advice for planning a romantic vacation?As you consider these questions and our answers, take note of the important issues and dynamics in your own relationship. Be willing to ask the hard questions and...
2022-02-1436 minIntimate Covenant PodcastPostpartum Sex & Intimacy [79]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the challenges of rebuilding your sexual relationship and the challenges of maintaining intimacy AFTER the baby comes.If you are blessed by the birth of children, your sex life and relational intimacy will change, especially in the immediate postpartum timeframe.You must each acknowledge the physical and emotional challenges of this time with grace, patience, sacrifice and compassion for your spouse.Your new baby will be most blessed if you learn to prioritize your marriage and your intimacy during this time.Announcing Covenant Club...
2022-02-0745 minIntimate Covenant PodcastChallenges of Sex During Pregnancy [78]Send us a textIn this episode Matt & Jenn speak to the challenges of maintaining a sexual relationship and all other realms of connection during pregnancy.In almost all situations, sex during pregnancy is safe. If you are unsure, ask your health care provider and be sure that you ask specific questions about what’s allowed or not.Pregnancy will change many things about a woman’s body and biochemistry that might make sex more challenging.But, there are ways to overcome these obstacles and to grow all points of closeness and intimacy in your marriage duri...
2022-01-3145 minIntimate Covenant PodcastIs It OK To Have Sex During Her Period? [77]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss period sex -- is it biblical? is it healthy? why would I want to? are there ways to make it easier?If you both are interested, sex during her period is safe, scriptural, and maybe even beneficial. It just may have to look different than at other times.No, a wife is NOT obligated to perform sexual favors during her period in order to keep her husband from being tempted. An obligation mindset is an objectification of women and demeaning to men.Whether you engage...
2022-01-2446 min
Intimate Covenant PodcastDoes My Spouse Owe Me Sex? (1 Corinthians 7:1-5) [76]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the oft quoted Bible passage 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 and whether this scripture gives a spouse the right to demand sex from his/her spouse.Overall, 1 Corinthians 7 teaches that I am obligated to meet the sexual needs of my spouse.But this passage does NOT give me authority to demand sex from my spouse. Demanding or offering sex out of obligation is not Christ-like and is unhealthy for your marriage.When there is a sexual fast in your marriage, there needs needs to be ongoing conversation about it...
2022-01-1746 minIntimate Covenant PodcastChoreplay [75]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the concept of a husband helping with household chores to win sexual favors from his wife, a.k.a. "choreplay." Is this a fun, win-win idea? What are the dangers of this transactional approach to sex?There is certainly some truth in the idea that a wife will be more inclined toward sex if a husband is willing to help with the endless tasks required to effectively run a home.Choreplay is a dangerous idea when one or both spouses begin to believe that sex is...
2022-01-1043 minIntimate Covenant PodcastState of the Covenant [74]Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share their method of critically assessing the state of their own marital intimacy and some tips on how to have the conversation about setting goals for better connection. For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future.A thorough evaluation of your marriage should include assessment of each realm of intimacy: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.In setting relationship goals, I need to define what I am going to change individually with specific and realistic pla...
2022-01-0342 minIntimate Covenant Podcast73: Live Q&A -- including overcoming physical limitations, lack of attraction, and strong opinions...Send us a textThis episode includes segments of a live Q&A session from a recent seminar held in Columbus, Indiana. Matt & Jenn tackle the following questions:"How do you overcome lack of sexual desire because of physical limitations?""Are all forms of sex ok? Are any types of sex with my spouse sinful?""I have been wanting to enhance our sexual connections through non-intercourse actives such as kissing on the couch for 5 minutes. However, there is a fear of even starting these activities as then going all the way to ejaculation would be pressured...
2021-12-2732 minIntimate Covenant Podcast72: Live Q&A, part 1 -- including birth control, feeling undesired, and more...Send us a textThis episode includes segments of a live Q&A session from a recent seminar held in Columbus, Indiana. Matt & Jenn tackle the following questions:My husband agreed to get a vasectomy over a year ago, but he still hasn't initiated the process. Our contraception methods are unreliable and this is causing a great deal of anxiety. "How can I let him know we are a team but also that this is so difficult and very emotional for me to go thru each month ...carrying with me the concerns of getting pregnant?""When y...
2021-12-2033 minIntimate Covenant Podcast71: Fighting FairSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to "embrace conflict" and offer some ground rules on "fighting fair" in your marriage.Learn to embrace conflict recognizing that conflict is an opportunity to learn more about your spouse. Your job is not to “win” or even eliminate every conflict. Rather your goal is to use conflict to learn to face problems together.Treat your spouse with love and respect, always. Recognize and avoid the manipulative techniques that you might be using like explosion, silence, withholding, or tears.You may be right about a cert...
2021-12-1349 minIntimate Covenant Podcast70: Sexy Gift GivingSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice for sexual pursuers and responders when giving and receiving sexy gifts. Consider starting a sexy Christmas tradition. This is a great time to gift your sexual relationship by exchanging sexy presents and/or by making time for a Christmas Eve quickie.If you are a sexual pursuer, be sure that you are primarily considering what is best for encouraging sexual connection for your spouse.Sexual responders should consider how to get in the Christmas spirit by giving their beloved a generous sexual gift.Primarily, this s...
2021-12-0643 minIntimate Covenant Podcast68: Keep Scrooge Out of the BedroomSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to keep your relationship and your sex life from freezing over during the busy holiday season.Protect your spouse. Make sure they know that you’ve got their back. Approach your extended families with an “us vs. them” mentality.Prioritize your spouse and your relationship. You absolutely MUST make time to continue to connect with your spouse, even at the expense of making others happy - even your kids.Plan ahead so that you are prepared to overcome challenges to your sex life during this holida...
2021-11-2244 minIntimate Covenant Podcast67: New MovesSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share an excerpt from a session of the 2021 Retreat, titled, "Submitting to one another -- do I know what my spouse really needs?" Learn new moves to help transform conflict into opportunities for growth and connection.Real change starts by seeing my spouse more clearly -- empathy. See their circumstances, their struggles and their desires.If I want change, I have to protect their space for change. I have to reward their vulnerability instead of punishing with judgement, criticism, or coldness.Recognize that we need each other — in...
2021-11-1539 minIntimate Covenant Podcast66: Encouraging Spiritual LeadershipSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn continue last week's discussion about encouraging husbands to be leaders by specifically addressing spiritual leadership in the home.Husbands are given the responsibility of overseeing the spiritual growth of the home and this responsibility is often shirked by many men. Many wives longingly desire to see their husbands grow into a strong spiritual leader.Criticism and pressure are rarely effective ways to motivate a reluctant husband. Instead, be clear and realistic about your expectations, offering praise and gratitude as motivation.Husbands, spiritual growth is in your best...
2021-11-0850 minIntimate Covenant Podcast65: How Do I Encourage My Husband To Be A Leader?Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a listener question from a wife who wants to know how she can encourage her husband to be a better leader and more engaged in the relationship.Sometimes, our disappointment with leadership is because we have unrealistic expectations. However, clearly many husbands are negligent in their role as head of their household.If you are a wife, your best tool to encourage your husband to lead is to be a godly respectful supporter.Don’t be afraid to hold each other accountable in the roles that Go...
2021-11-0144 minIntimate Covenant Podcast64: Eye ContactSend us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn answer a listener question about making eye contact during sex. We'll also discuss ways to use eye contact to enhance emotional and sexual pleasure using eye contact.Eye contact requires vulnerability, but increasing eye contact in your relationship - in and out of the bedroom - can improve emotional and sexual connection.There may be reasons that we are seeking or avoiding eye contact during sex. This begs the question and conversation needed in your marriage, “What does eye contact during sex mean to me?”If you...
2021-10-2545 minIntimate Covenant Podcast63: Retreat Q&A, part 2 (hygiene, sex aversion, sexual trauma, striving w/o pressuring)Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share segments from the 2021 Annual Marriage Retreat Q&A session, recorded with a live audience. We tackle topics including sexy hygiene, dealing with aversion to the sex act, overcoming sexual trauma, and how to "keep striving" without pressuring.We also want to recognize our Retreat sponsors again. THANK YOU! Married Dance — marrieddance.comWebsites that Sell — websitesthatsell.comGhost Sherpa — ghostsherpa.comInfiniteMoon — infinitemoon.comMentionables — mentionables.comDating Divas ...
2021-10-1801 minIntimate Covenant Podcast62: Retreat Q&A, part 1 (sex toys, Skype sex, pornography)Send us a textThis episode is an excerpt from a LIVE recording at the 2021 Intimate Covenant Annual Marriage Retreat in Houston, TX. Matt & Jenn field questions about recommendations for sex toys, using Skype sex when couples are apart and how to begin the journey to healing after betrayal by pornography addiction.Thank you to these incredible companies that supported our 2021 Retreat:Married Dance — marrieddance.comWebsites That Sell — websitesthatsell.comGhost Sherpa — ghostsherpa.comInfiniteMoon — infinitemoon.comMentionables — mentionables.comThe Dating Divas — thedatingdivas.comUberlube — u...
2021-10-1101 minIntimate Covenant Podcast61: Common Barriers To Sex, part 3 (work, travel, separate bedtimes)Send us a textIn this episode Matt & Jenn complete their series on overcoming common barriers to sex with discussion about work, travel (physical separation) and separate bedtimes.Learning to identify and eliminate barriers to sex in our relationships requires honest introspection and humility. This process will improve our married sex lives, but also benefit every other aspect of your relationship.Keep your job in perspective. No career or job is worth sacrificing your marriage over.If you must be physically separated by travel, have a plan for how you will maintain connection while away from...
2021-10-0440 minIntimate Covenant Podcast60: Common Barriers To Sex, part 2 (health, screens, humor)Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss overcoming some more barriers to sex -- health, aging, screens and humor.Learning to identify and eliminate barriers to sex in our relationships requires honest introspection and humility. This process will improve our married sex lives, but also benefit every other aspect of your relationship.Since sex is so much more than joining genitals, we can still have pleasurable and deeply meaningful sex even if our body fails us.Put down your screens and be willing to lean into vulnerable conversations. The risk and anxiety...
2021-09-2738 minIntimate Covenant Podcast59: Common Barriers To Sex, part 1 (kids)Send us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss how to deal with one of the most challenging barriers to sex ...kids. Daily life often seems to get in the way, creating barriers that hinder our ability to enjoy the sexual connection we would like to have with one another.Have an action plan to combat the barriers that interfere with your sex life! Learn to name your barriers, asking yourself “why?” these barriers exist, then share these barriers with your spouse. Be willing to hear their barriers too and then together discuss solutions.Kids...
2021-09-2042 minIntimate Covenant Podcast58: Marriage Bed Mind-ReadingSend us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the pitfalls of expecting our spouse to be a mind-reader and how to avoid the fight over sexual rejection.Neither of you is a mind-reader. Each must be clear about sexual desires and expectations. Foster intimate conversation on all levels in your relationship.Sexual rejection doesn’t have to result in a fight. Grace, empathy, and compassion are required for each to better understand what sexual rejection means to the other.When there is greater intimacy overall, sexual rejection is less divisive. But, each of yo...
2021-09-1344 minIntimate Covenant Podcast56: Your Bedroom Is Your Sex RoomSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the importance of creating a master bedroom that is a haven for you and your beloved. Also, we'll share crucial details to consider when choosing the best mattress for sex.Prioritize your master bedroom. It should be a place of solace and escape with your beloved. Invest the time and effort into making it just that!Your bedroom is your sex room. Create an atmosphere that helps prepare you emotionally, romantically, physically, and logistically for sex.Deepen your sexual intimacy by decorating in a way that h...
2021-08-3040 minIntimate Covenant Podcast55: Am I A Biblically Submissive Wife?Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the special way that wives are asked to be submissive to their husbands. Specifically, we consider what this looks like in the sexual relationship.Like we talked about last week, all are to be “submissive to one another,” yet, there is a special way in which wives are to be submissive to their husbands.Submission must be defined and practiced in the way that the church is subject to Christ by fulfilling the precious role of womanhood with a “gentle and quiet spirit”.In the bedroom, wives mu...
2021-08-2338 minIntimate Covenant Podcast54: Am I The Head Of My Marriage?Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss what it means for a husband to be "head of the wife." And, how does this concept extend to the bedroom?Before attempting to understand headship, I must first recognize my obligation to submit to all. Mutual submission is essential to every human relationship and crucially important between a husband and wife.Headship is defined and exemplified by Christ’s headship of the church. This means that authority is the smallest part of headship, and only meaningful if exercised through complete self-sacrifice.My role as a he...
2021-08-1641 minIntimate Covenant Podcast53: Finding "Lover Girl"Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how a wife can learn to balance her roles as both caregiver (Mom Mode) and lover (Lover Girl).Most wives struggle to find balance between their roles as a caregiver and lover. But, a wife can learn to be both, at the same time.Wives can access “Lover-Girl” more easily when they begin actively looking for sexual cues, learn to harness their husband’s sexual energy, and see the benefits of sex for themselves.Husbands can help by offering and providing a place of retreat from the co...
2021-08-0940 minIntimate Covenant Podcast52: Bring Your Whole Self To The Marriage BedSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to bring your heart, soul, strength, and mind to the marriage bed. Plus, get a sneak peak at the theme and topics for the 2021 Marriage Retreat!The focus of the 2021 Intimate Covenant Retreat is to renew our view of marriage as a spiritual endeavor and elevate our purpose beyond the day-to-day obligations of running a household. Sex should be a place where a couple joins more than just two sets of genitals. Sex should be an opportunity to connect heart, soul, strength, and mind.
2021-08-0241 minIntimate Covenant Podcast51: A Betrayer's Role in HealingSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how the betrayer can help in healing and restoration of the relationship.If you have betrayed your spouse, you must humbly demonstrate that you feel the pain you have caused AND be willing to drastically change your behavior because of it. Rebuilding a relationship after betrayal will require time and vulnerability on the part of the betrayer.With betrayal, understanding the dynamic that led to the betrayal must be part of the healing and restoration of the relationship.Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in September: h...
2021-07-2642 minIntimate Covenant Podcast50: Are We Normal?Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some research and statistics about how normal couples have sex.Most married couples have sex between twice a month to twice a week, depending on which data you look at. Sexual frequency does decline with age, but older couples still have fairly frequent sex.Nearly all couples have intercourse. Many also engage in oral sex and partnered masturbation.Sexual frequency and sexual practices do not necessarily correlate with relationship quality. Ultimately, our sexual practices and frequencies should be determined by what is best for the oneness...
2021-07-1947 minIntimate Covenant Podcast49: Betrayal & ForgivenessSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss moving past the pain of betrayal towards restoration and healing in your marriage.The first step to overcoming betrayal is to admit your feelings of hurt, anger, resentment or grief and confront your spouse with your feelings.Talk about it in the right way and in the right setting. Know when you need help.Believe in the power of healing found in a full connection with your beloved.Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in September: https://intimatecovenant.com/retreat Please send y...
2021-07-1237 minIntimate Covenant Podcast48: Great Sex Is Not EasySend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge and encourage us to put in the hard work necessary to grow and expand our sexual relationship.Believing that great sex just occurs spontaneously and effortlessly is actually preventing us from achieving good sex.Great sex, like any other mastery, is the product of consistent, intentional work over time.Take responsibility for your part in growing your sexual relationship. Then, commit yourself to learning, cultivating and expanding your sex towards greater oneness.Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in September: https://intimatecovenant.com/retreat
2021-07-0529 minIntimate Covenant Podcast47: Talking To Your Friends About SexSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn consider guidelines that honor God and our spouses when talking to our friends about sex.It is important for God’s people to be talking about sex in a positive and holy way. There is power in a community of believers sharing the beauty of God’s plan.But, sharing intimate details about your personal sex life with anyone other than your spouse is a betrayal. Don’t do it.Follow the lead of Scripture. There is a way to talk about sex that is wholesome and approp...
2021-06-2836 minIntimate Covenant Podcast46: Resource RecommendationsSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share some of their favorite marriage and sex book recommendations.Find good resources that encourage your marriage and share these with you spouse.If you have trouble in your marriage, seek help from those capable of helping — spiritual mentors, church elders, and professional therapists.If you are a leader, especially in your local congregation, strengthen your marriage. And, equip yourself to help other marriages by developing a biblical view of marriage and sex — good books or other resources can help.Good Books for Leaders (but really for ever...
2021-06-2136 minIntimate Covenant Podcast45: Using Masturbation To Deal With Sexual Desire DifferencesSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn answer questions about using private masturbation as a way to help deal with sexual desire and arousal differences between spouses.Any two individuals in a marriage will be quite different when it comes to sexual desire and motivations for sex. Our challenge is to recognize these differences and turn toward each other with empathy, humility, and service.The purpose of our sexual relationship is to promote, accentuate and motivate the fullness of connection in a covenant relationship. We should be motivated to serve our spouse, learn about...
2021-06-1439 minIntimate Covenant Podcast44: Talking to Your Kids About Your Sexual PastSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn tackle a listener's email question, "Should we tell our kids about the sexual sins of our past? How much should we share?"Talking to your kids about sex must be an ongoing conversation so that they feel comfortable about the topic and that they see you as experts for sex and relationship advice.Sharing your failings with your kids doesn’t make you less respectable, it makes you more relatable. It makes you more credible, especially if you are frank, honest and vulnerable in every aspect of yo...
2021-06-0736 minIntimate Covenant Podcast43: Our StorySend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn share their personal struggles with marriage and sex. You won't want to miss this touching and vulnerable episode.We want you to know that you’re not alone. We know brokenness. But we also know redemption, restoration and unity through the power of the gospel and God’s plan for marriage and sex.We’re here to share that with you and to build a community for vulnerability and encouragement.Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in September: https://intimatecovenant.com/retreatPlease send y...
2021-05-3141 minIntimate Covenant Podcast42: Rewrite Your Sexual ScriptSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to carefully evaluate whether your sex routines are really the best way to promote connection.Every couple has a sexual routine or script that they follow for most sexual encounters. But is your routine promoting the best sex and most connection for your marriage?Start by busting the myth that sex starts with intercourse and ends with ejaculation. Make love all day, every day, by frequently connecting emotional and sexually.Assess every stage of your sexual routine and determine if there is something that you...
2021-05-2436 minIntimate Covenant Podcast41: Date Night: transitioning to the bedroomSend us a textIn this final episode in the series on Date Night, Matt & Jenn give advice on how to transition the energy from Date Night into the bedroom.Date Night is critical for the spiritual, emotional, romantic, and sexual health of your relationship. Make it a priority in your marriage!How you do Date Night is also critical to maximizing the benefit to your marriage and promoting oneness. Here’s 5 tips to make the most of your time:Don’t leave it to chance, plan it! When you’re on a date, give your undivid...
2021-05-1728 minIntimate Covenant Podcast40: Date Night: promoting conversation and connectionSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn continue the discussion about Date Night by offering 5 tips to make for a great date night.Date Night is critical for the spiritual, emotional, romantic, and sexual health of your relationship. Make it a priority in your marriage!How you do Date Night is also critical to maximizing the benefit to your marriage and promoting oneness. Here’s 5 tips to make the most of your time:Don’t leave it to chance, plan it. When you’re on a date, give your undivided attention. Promote connectio...
2021-05-1130 minIntimate Covenant Podcast39: Date Night!Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn begin a series devoted to Date Night - one of their favorite topics. Date Night is critical for the spiritual, emotional, romantic, and sexual health of your relationship. Make it a priority in your marriage.Date night should be about building connection, not just for your entertainment.Prioritize Date Night by scheduling and planning ahead. Put it on your calendar and in the budget!Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in September: https://intimatecovenant.com/retreat Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@in...
2021-05-0332 minIntimate Covenant Podcast38: Why Am I Saying No? (shame, insecurity)Send us a textMatt & Jenn continue the discussion challenging wives to consider why they might be resistant to hot, holy sex in their marriage bed.A wife may be resistant to sex because she is morally conflicted or is carrying shame from sexual sin or trauma. The answer is to allow your mind, body, heart and soul to be transformed by the blood of Jesus. Get the help that you need from God’s word and God’s people, including a professional counselor if needed.Another reason why a wife may be resistant to exploring sex...
2021-04-2635 minIntimate Covenant Podcast37: Why Am I Saying No? (disconnection, manipulation)Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn begin a discussion challenging wives' reasons for avoiding sex.There are many good reasons that a wife may be resistant to sex in her marriage. But, a wife must recognize that the quality of your sex life will impact the quality of the rest of your marriage, and vice versa.If you are saying no to sex because you are emotionally disconnected, intentionally prioritize your entire marriage relationship. Make the choice to connect daily — emotionally, spiritually, romantically, sexually…Say “yes” sometimes, even when it’s inconvenient or feels vuln...
2021-04-1936 minIntimate Covenant Podcast36: Why Doesn't My Wife Want To Have Sex With Me?Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss reasons why a husband's sexual invitations may be rejected and what that might teach us about ourselves and our relationship.Before protesting that you are being unfairly rejected, ask yourself, “Would I want to have sex with someone like me?” Have I met my wife’s needs before expecting her to meet mine? Have I made it easy for her to connect with me spiritually, emotionally and physically?Some reasons your wife may be resistant to sex with you include:She has a responsive sexual desire and is...
2021-04-1137 minIntimate Covenant Podcast35: Sexual Desire Differences -- spontaneous vs. responsive desireSend us a textIn this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the differences in how we access and express sexual desire. How do we handle it when one spouse seemingly wants sex more than the other?In general, a man’s sexual desire is like a microwave (spontaneous) and a woman’s sexual desire is like a crockpot (responsive). Neither is right or wrong and neither is better or worse.Empathize with your spouse’s position by offering grace, mercy, and understanding. Learn to embrace your own desire with contentment and enthusiasm.Each of you has a role...
2021-04-0540 minIntimate Covenant Podcast34: Discussing Your Sexual History With Your SpouseSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss principles to guide the difficult conversation with your spouse about your sinful sexual history.Healing begins with confession (James 5:16). If you want true intimacy, you must reveal yourself. Your intimacy is only as deep as your honesty.Use great discretion about what facts or details you share with each other. This process is often best guided by a professional therapist or trusted spiritual mentor.Acknowledge the pain and take proper steps to grieve and forgive each other.Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in Spring, T...
2021-03-2933 minIntimate Covenant Podcast33: Am I Being Punished For Having Premarital Sex?Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn talk about pre-marital sex and the impact it has on our marriage relationship and in the marriage bed.Sex outside of marriage has consequences — whether it’s before or after marriage, with your spouse or with someone else.Often (especially for women) these experiences cause barriers of shame which make it difficult to fully enjoy sex within the proper context of marriage covenant.The shame of past sexual sin can be redeemed within intimate relationship through godly confession and meditation.Register for the 2021 Annual Retreat in Spri...
2021-03-2232 minIntimate Covenant Podcast32: That's Just Gross!Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to some listener questions about overcoming the disgust response in our sex lives — that unconscious grossed-out reaction that we might have to some forms of sexual activity. Differentiate your sexual preferences from God’s sexual boundaries.Disgust is a learned behavior and can be a significant sexual brake for those of us with a sensitive conscience. This becomes a problem in marriage when each spouse’s disgust levels are very different.Accept that you can change your preferences over time and learn to enjoy all of God’s g...
2021-03-1540 minIntimate Covenant Podcast31: When Sex is PainfulSend us a textSex should never be painful - emotionally, spiritually, or physically. In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some common problems that might cause sex to be painful for a woman and what you might be able to do about it.There are a number of reasons why sex could be painful for women. Proper assessment and therapy by a doctor and/or physiotherapist may be required. When sex is painful, the entire relationship will be affected. You must both be willing to communicate about it and be willing to find solutions so that yo...
2021-03-0836 minIntimate Covenant Podcast30: Male Sexual DysfunctionSend us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the two most common problems that occur for men in the bedroom, erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE).If you want to function better with your wife, stop masturbating by yourself.Do something about your sexual dysfunction! Your reluctance to deal with the problem is making your anxiety worse which is making the manifestation of your problem worse.Take care of yourself: No smoking, drinking, or drugs. Get in better shape.Talk to your doctor! Take care of your relationship. Sexual dysfunction is normal and co...
2021-03-0133 minIntimate Covenant Podcast29: Mercy Sex vs. The QuickieSend us a textToday on the podcast Matt and Jenn compare the blight of mercy sex and the art of a quickie.Stop settling for mercy sex. Don’t accept it. Don’t offer it. Sex is for connection, not just to use your spouse’s body or to be used. On the other hand, a quickie is a great tool in a sexually and emotionally healthy marriage. A quickie can offer one or both of you a quick recharge and reconnection, even in the midst of busyness.The best quickies happen when you both underst...
2021-02-2235 minIntimate Covenant Podcast28: Exploring Fantasy, Arousal, Sex Furniture, and More!Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn are answering some of your questions! We love getting your emails -- keep them coming! It really helps us to know what you want us to talk about and how we can best help your marriage! Today we discuss a listener’s email that has several great questions included about female arousal, arousal aids, masturbation and more!Embrace fantasy as a way to advance the plot in YOUR story. Harness sexual stimuli to fuel desire for your beloved.Whatever means you are considering to help enhance your lo...
2021-02-1533 minIntimate Covenant Podcast27: What is the Intimate Covenant Annual Retreat?Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some exciting news about what's happening with Intimate Covenant outside the podcast and we chat about what couples can expect from the upcoming annual marriage retreat.1. THANK YOU! We’re deeply humbled by the success of the podcast. If our message has helped your marriage, we would be incredibly thankful if you would share, rate and review us on iTunes.2. Registration for the Retreat opens on February 14 - Valentine’s DayChallenging and informative sessions to build oneness in your marriage - spir...
2021-02-0832 minIntimate Covenant Podcast26: Am I Expecting Too Little For My Marriage?Send us a textThis week Matt and Jenn continue their discussion about setting godly expectations for marriage by asking, "Am I expecting too little for my marriage?"In some marriages, one or both spouses are content to settle for “good enough” or “better than.” This is not a reflection of the quality of relationship that Christ demonstrated towards His Bride, the church.A godly spouse must be willing to be held accountable. This requires humbly and vulnerability. A godly spouse must also have the courage and determination to hold their partner accountable. Download our free r...
2021-02-0138 minIntimate Covenant Podcast25: Am I Expecting Too Much For My Marriage?Send us a textThis week, Matt & Jenn ask the question, "Am I expecting too much for my marriage?" One of the most harmful misunderstandings about marriage is when we behave and act like my spouse is given for the sole purpose to make me happy. As a result, we often expect too much from marriage.It’s not wrong to want to improve your marriage relationship. But, it is wrong to first fail to acknowledge the ways that God has provided for you.You will also continue to be disappointed if you expect that your spo...
2021-01-2536 minIntimate Covenant Podcast24: What do I want from my marriage?Send us a textMatt & Jenn discuss setting goals for your marriage in this New Year by asking the question, "What do I want from my marriage in 2021?"Mature past the selfish motivations of relationship and begin to see the true fulfillment of covenant love built on self-sacrifice — in your marriage and in your relationship to God.For 2021 (and everyday), ask the questions, “What do I want FOR my marriage?” “What more can I give to this covenant?”Begin the assessment of your relationship with humility and self-reflection. Then, have a conversation with your spouse to determine...
2021-01-1837 minIntimate Covenant Podcast23: When your child gets married...Send us a textThis week, Matt & Jenn unpack their emotions after giving away their daughter in marriage. How are we feeling and how does this experience change our perspective on our own relationship?Be sure that you've invested in your own marriage. Otherwise, when you give your kids away, you'll have given yourself away, too.It's possible and necessary to hold both joy and sorrow at the same time. Acknowledge that and share it.Real joy and fulfillment is in a lifetime of intimacy. It's worth the effort and pain!Download our free...
2021-01-1133 minIntimate Covenant Podcast22: Self-criticism, a common barrier to sexual desire and pleasureSend us a textThis episode includes an excerpt from the 2020 Retreat titled, Redeeming Sexual Desire — Unlocking the Path to Sexual Arousal. The section that we’re sharing with you is about addressing a common sexual brake — self-criticism. Jenn will challenge you to consider that how you treat yourself will impact how well you can enjoy your sex life.If you would like to join us for next year’s Retreat, save the date: September 23-25, 2021. That’s a Thursday evening through Saturday afternoon in Houston, Texas. Download our free resource titled, What...
2021-01-0421 minIntimate Covenant Podcast21: Honoring the Romance of RedemptionSend us a textThis week on the podcast, we're sharing an excerpt from the 2020 Retreat titled, Honoring the Romance of Redemption. This session considers principles from the timeless, romantic love story of Ruth and Boaz. We hope that your marriage is blessed and motivated as we approach the new opportunities of a New Year!Download our free resource titled, What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse? at our website: www.intimatecovenant.com Please send your comments, questions and suggestions to podcast@intimatecovenant.com Thanks for sharing, rating and...
2020-12-2948 minIntimate Covenant Podcast20: Merry Sexy ChristmasSend us a textToday on the podcast Matt and Jenn are talking about Christmas. We all know Christmas time is supposed to be the “most wonderful time of the year” but reality is- it’s often full of a lot of tension, stress, and conflict. Specifically, for married couples, there is often conflict regarding how sexual Christmas should or should not be. Credit Paul Byerly for starting the the Annual Christmas Eve Quickie. Read more excellent thoughtful writing from Paul at: https://themarriagebed.comConsider how you would answer these questions. Would your s...
2020-12-2132 minIntimate Covenant Podcast19: Got Lube?!?Send us a textMatt & Jenn discuss the wide wet world of sexual lubricants. Who needs them? When to use them? And how to choose one?Wetness and hardness are not accurate indicators of your arousal level.Accessory lubrication can enhance the sexual experience, even if you are a perfectly normally functioning person.Sex lubricants are broadly categorized as water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Each category has its own pro/cons. Try them all to know what works best for you!Download our free resource titled, What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse? at our we...
2020-12-1437 minIntimate Covenant Podcast18: Making BabiesSend us a textMatt & Jenn discuss the relational, emotional, and physical challenges of pregnancy and introducing babies into your marriage - specifically, how these challenges affect your sexual relationship.Both husbands and wives must recognize the strain that conceiving, carrying, and raising babies will have on a marriage relationship, especially in the bedroom. Be willing to frequently express your feelings, needs and desires. As always, be eager to serve your spouse.Married life will present many challenges and even the tremendous blessing of children will bring opportunities for growth or resentment. Be intentional maximize the...
2020-12-0739 minIntimate Covenant Podcast17: Initiating Sex -- Who goes first?Send us a textIn this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss making the moves to make it happen — that anxiety-filled, over-thought, and over-done vulnerable moment when a one spouse propositions the other for sex. We'll tackle some questions like: Who’s responsibility is it to initiate sex? How does one initiate sex? Is there a reliable go-to move or pick up line? And we’ll even offer some playful suggestions to help mix it up.Who is supposed to initiate sex? It doesn’t matter as long as you are both pursuing and connecting with the other in every...
2020-11-3043 minIntimate Covenant Podcast16: Keep Scrooge Out of the Bedroom!Send us a textIn this episode we’re talking about maintaining your sexual relationship during the stress of the holidays.Protect your spouse. Make sure they know that you’ve got their back when you are at family gatherings.Prioritize your spouse and your relationship. You absolutely MUST make time to continue to connect with your spouse, even at the expense of making others happy - including your kids.Plan ahead so that you are prepared to overcome challenges to your sex life during this holiday season. Download our free resource titled, What Does Sex M...
2020-11-2337 minIntimate Covenant Podcast15: Develop Your Language of LovemakingSend us a textMatt & Jenn discuss how to develop a vocabulary and language for your lovemaking so that you and your spouse can effectively communicate about your sex life. Talking about sex improves the quality of your sex and your relationship.You must have vocabulary to learn a language. Know and name your parts.Define the types and kinds of sex that you are having.Helpful Resources referenced in this episode:Ultimate Intimacy appIntimately Us appwww.ChristianFriendlySexPositions.comDownload our free resource titled, “What Does Sex Mean To My Spouse?” at th...
2020-11-1629 minIntimate Covenant Podcast14: When the Wife Has Higher Sexual DesireSend us a textIn response to listener email, Matt & Jenn discuss the unique dynamic when the wife is the one with higher sexual desire.Higher desire wives, recognize that you are normal. You and your spouse don’t have to fit the stereotypes to still have a fulfilling sex life. You do still have to work at your relationship - just like everyone else, just in a different way.Wives, You can only control you. Choose to be a sexually confident woman. What you do may or may not influence your husband to change. But, eve...
2020-11-0938 minIntimate Covenant Podcast13: Female Sexual Desire & ArousalSend us a textMatt & Jenn discuss the typical pattern of female sexual desire and arousal. "Normal" is not what you've been led to believe!Tapping in to sexual desire is a choice! Female sex drive starts in between her ears not in between her legs. Most women are not sexually aroused until AFTER they have chosen to engage in sexual play with their beloved.To have great sex, you must choose to be present mentally and physically, own your own pleasure, and understand what really makes you sexy.This is Biblical! We have a God-give...
2020-11-0231 minIntimate Covenant Podcast12: Why do I want sex? or not?Send us a textMatt & Jenn discuss the five reasons people seek or avoid sex. The 5 motivators toward or away from sex are: pleasure, intimacy/connection, procreation, approval, and coping. Each motivator may be driving you toward or away from sex.Understand what motivates you toward or away from sex so that you can tap into your positive motivations and confront those negative motivations.Have a discussion with your spouse about each other's positive and negative motivation for sex. Find out what you can (or can’t) do to maximize your desire toward each other.Down...
2020-10-2638 minIntimate Covenant Podcast11: Dealing With Pornography in Your MarriageSend us a textThis episode brought to you by: Websites That Sell: https://www.facebook.com/BeautifulWebsitesThatSellThey did a beautiful job with our site re-design. Let them make help you grow your business with a beautiful new website.------------------------------------------In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the devastating effects of pornography on your marriage and how to heal from the betrayal.Pornography poisons your sexual expectations and betrays your marriage relationship. Recovery from the betrayal of pornography occurs in three stages:Stage 1: The porn must st...
2020-10-1934 minIntimate Covenant Podcast10: What is Intimacy?Send us a textMatt & Jenn offer some very practical ways to build intimacy in the four realms of your marital relationship: spiritual, mental, emotional & physical.Intimacy is not just a euphemism for sex. It’s so much deeper. It means knowing and being known. Building intimacy is the goal for your marriage relationship.Building intimacy in all realms of your relationship requires an intentional focus and conscious effort.All of realms of intimacy — spiritual, intellectual, emotional & sexual — are interconnected. If your relationship is suffering in one area, it will affect your ability to grow close in ever...
2020-10-1233 min