Shows
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledThe Joy in Letting Babies Move Freely (with Elsa Chahin)
Elsa Chahin, President/CEO of Pikler/Loczy USA, has dedicated herself to carrying on the mission of visionary pediatrician and researcher Dr. Emmi Pikler, which is to promote "respectful and harmonious relationships between the youngest child and the adult." Like Janet, Elsa is also RIE Associate who studied under Pikler protege Magda Gerber. Elsa joins Janet in this episode to discuss the innumerable, proven benefits of allowing babies to develop their motor skills naturally. These benefits include physical competence, self-awareness, judicial risk-taking, inner-directed joyful learning, emotional health, and an enduring belief in themselves as capable people. As Elsa and...
2025-02-1140 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledToo Needy, Too Stubborn, Too Emotional, Too Bossy, Too...
Parenting and worry seem to go hand-in-hand. Because we care so much, we watch our kids closely and can tend to perceive their traits and behaviors in a needlessly negative, worrisome light. In this episode, Janet explains why traits like sensitivity, bossiness, a toddler's insistence on doing it himself, and another child's seemingly constant need for a parent's validation can all be seen (and approached far more effectively!) as strengths. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.S...
2025-02-0426 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledI Don't Like My Kids, and That Breaks My Heart (A Parent Consultation)
Janet consults with a distressed parent of two boys who feels stuck in a destructive pattern. She describes how she's struggling with feeling constantly irritated, overwhelmed, and just angry. “I love my kids more than anything,” she says, “but they’re driving me crazy.” Janet agrees with the mom that boundaries are a big part the issue and suggests a new approach for her to try. Surprisingly, the solution they come up with is not stricter enforcement, but just the opposite.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors...
2025-01-2829 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledIf Consequences Aren't Working, Try This Instead
A parent with 2 children, 4 and 1.5-years-old, writes to Janet feeling disappointed and concerned that he's letting his children down. This dad admits that he’s very sensitive to his both children’s emotions, especially if they’re upset. In order to deal with their typical, rambunctious behaviors, he’s attempted to set reasonable boundaries with consequences in terms of dressing, bathing, bedtime, roughhousing, etc. This "If you do that, then... " strategy was effective for a while, he says, but lately seems to have backfired because his four-year-old is now giving him ultimatums. The boy's behaviors have become more extreme, and in respon...
2025-01-2132 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledResolving Our Kids' Annoying Behaviors
Janet addresses messages from parents who are feeling defeated and helpless in the face of their kids' persistently uncooperative, annoying and, in one case, hurtful behavior. All of these parents admit they are struggling, and that the approaches they've tried just don't seem to be working. "... I am constantly getting at my child, telling her 'No, stop that, not so close,' etc., and after a while I get incredibly frustrated as I just need my personal space." "My two year old has taken to saying "hate you!" literally 25 plus times a day." "I dre...
2025-01-1429 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledCrying, Screaming, Resisting, Sadness - Your Best Responses to Kids' Emotions
Raising kids is a learning process, and (no doubt) there's a benefit to reflecting on the mistakes we make along the way. But Janet believes we can learn even more when we recognize and appreciate our successes, no matter how inconsequential they might seem to us as the time. Maybe it's the little bit of empathy we felt as we limited one of our child's bothersome behaviors. Or a momentary sense of confidence in ourselves as leaders rising above the fray. Or the realization that we could, just that once, let our child's feelings be without judging them, and th...
2025-01-0726 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledBe Careful What You Teach - It Might Interfere With What They Are Learning
Janet responds to a question from a caregiver who says the family she works for is interested in teaching their son ABC's and other lessons. The child is sometimes disinterested and refuses to participate, and she wonders: “Is there a respectful approach to teaching children?” Janet responds with an alternative perspective on early childhood learning that focuses on providing the best foundation possible for children to develop their innate abilities and a lifelong love of learning. This is an encore episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our...
2024-12-3121 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledDear Parents: You Are Not Failing
In this encore episode, a mom is at her wit's end and describes a series of challenging family separations and transitions, including the birth of a sibling. Now one of her twins yells and screams from morning until night. The other twin is defiant and “is always telling me ‘no’ and doing things he knows he’s not supposed to be doing.” This mom says their behavior is so extreme she spends most of the day in tears, feeling like a failure, and then ends up yelling. She’s looking for Janet’s advice how she might deal with her twins’ beh...
2024-12-2421 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledEmbrace the Privilege of Parenthood (With Neha Ruch)
Janet’s guest this week is Neha Ruch, a writer and speaker on parenting, women, work, and identity. Her personal journey from career through parenthood led her to question and ultimately reject society’s stereotypical view of the stay-at-home parent and its limitations, and instead celebrate the possibilities. Neha is the founder of Mother Untitled (.com), which seeks to reimagine parenthood as a pause or “downshift" and an opportunity to find our passions. Through Mother Untitled, Neha connects a growing community of like minded parents with resources geared to support and further their goals. Her new book, “The Power Pause: H...
2024-12-1737 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled5 Daily Discipline Reminders
Wouldn’t parenting be easier if our kids’ behavior was always stellar? Unfortunately, for most of us that isn't the case. It is during those difficult times especially, when our child is tired or hungry or angry (or their behavior just seems terrible and we're mystified as to what's gotten into them), that they need us to be their confident, empathic leader—a role that doesn't always come naturally. In this episode, Janet shares a shortlist of simple reminders for making setting limits with our kids feel more comfortable and organic. Because, as she says, we all deserve to feel s...
2024-12-1032 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHow to Calm Ourselves (With Mr. Chazz)
By now, we’ve all heard that Step One for effectively addressing our kids' behaviors and emotional storms is to first calm ourselves. Sounds simple, but as Janet has often shared, she believes this to be the biggest challenge we as parents face. Here's good news: Janet's guest this week is dynamic and passionate educator Mr. Chazz, and he has learned a self-calming process that he believes in 100%. Happily, he shares it in detail in this episode and who knows? It may very well come in handy this holiday season! Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Mas...
2024-12-0343 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhen Our Kids Seem Troubled by Our Emotions and Moods
In this encore episode, a parent writes that she and her husband are concerned their toddler feels responsible for their emotions. This is a trait they both recognize from their own backgrounds. “He asks again and again, ‘Happy, mommy?’ as if he’s trying to help me be happy.” This mom says that if she admits to her toddler that, no, she is not entirely happy at the moment, he gives her hugs and cuddles and persists in asking if she's happy. While these parents want to foster their child’s empathy and sensitivity, they don’t want him taking on the...
2024-11-2622 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledErratic, Unreasonable Behavior
A mother reaches out to Janet because her 3-year old's behavior has recently become erratic and unpleasant, and she’s struggling to make sense of it. She writes that her boy is strong-willed, smart, kind, high energy and wonderful to be around. But lately he's quick to anger, throws things, screams NO to simple requests, is pushy with his younger sister and gets easily overwhelmed when disappointed. He even behaved wildly and disruptively in a weekly music class he normally enjoys. Janet offers some basic guidelines for responding that she believes can be applied to almost every kind of beha...
2024-11-1929 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledLess Stress, More Joy This Holiday Season (With Ashlee Eiland)
Does the holiday season really need to be so overwhelming? Janet admits she gets caught up in the bustle and excitement of holiday festivities. While her intention every year is to pare down to make more room for meaningful moments with her loved ones, she still finds herself shopping until the last minute for the perfect gift and wrapping into the wee hours of Christmas Day. Janet's more than ready to take off her Santa hat and find ways to do less and enjoy more but doesn't know exactly how to make it happen. Happily, this week's gues...
2024-11-1241 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledMy Life With Adult Kids
Does respectful parenting work? How does it look as our kids get older and more independent? Does our approach to relationship building change and if so, how? Will our early efforts pay off? In response to a listener's questions, Janet discusses the challenges, rewards, and surprises she's experiencing as her three babies have become adults. She shares on topics like boundaries, maintaining closeness, and how she's tried to support her kids through struggles. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special of...
2024-11-0522 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhen Kids Don't Seem Motivated (to Potty, Crawl, or Create)
What do we do if we know our kids can practice a new skill, and yet they don't or won't? Three families reach out to Janet with concerns about their children's developmental progress. In one case, a 12-month-old doesn't seem interested in crawling, and the parent has been advised to try to make this happen. A second parent expresses her dismay ("I don't know how to undo what I've done!") that her 3-year-old will no longer draw. The child's refusal began when the parent innocently followed her child's request to draw pictures for her. A third parent says that her...
2024-10-2935 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled"Earlier Is Better" And Other Child Development Myths (with Rae Pica)
In this encore episode, early childhood education luminary Rae Pica joins Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child’s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular keynote speaker, and throughout her decades-long career has consulted with numerous diverse public and private groups as well as schools and health departments throughout the U.S. Rae's website, contact information, and parenting resources are at https://www.raepica.com...
2024-10-2231 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledKids Don't Need Intensive Parenting (and Neither do We!)
The US Surgeon General warns that parents today are feeling increasingly stressed and burnt out. Obviously, this is unhealthy for us and for our children. Several societal factors are thought to contribute to this issue. The good news is that one of them is in our power to control: Intensive Parenting. Sociologists describe intensive parenting (in a recent “New York Times” article) as "painstakingly and methodically cultivating children's talents, academics and futures through everyday interactions and activities." They note that parents are feeling more obligated to provide extracurricular activities for their kids than they did a decade ago and spen...
2024-10-1534 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledIs Disrespect a Tantrum in Disguise?
A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them "attitude" and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: "I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance...We're at a new low for us. It's starting to feel like he's too old to be acting out this way." Janet offers her perspective and suggestions in this episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors an...
2024-10-0832 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhat's Too Strict? What's Not Strict Enough?
Parenting is a tough job and, if you're like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet's recent episode: "Strict is Loving". You've also had questions—lots of questions—in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between too strict and too permissive. Janet addresses many of your questions in this episode, offering her perspective on issues with kids and peers, transitions, behavior during tantrums, intervening with pets, and more. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Cours...
2024-10-0133 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledCharacter Building Lessons You Want Your Kids to Learn
Progress not perfection… Be thankful for what you have… It's okay not to win… Embrace differences... Follow your own path... It's okay to cry... We all have life lessons that we hope to instill in our kids. Many of you shared yours with Janet on Facebook recently. What are the most effective ways to teach these lessons? As with all aspects of parenting, the answers may not be as clear and simple as we expect. Janet offers her perspective and advice in this episode. Janet's Facebook discussion on life lessons is here: https://tinyurl.com/46j2bkjyLearn...
2024-09-2431 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledTriggered Again: Understanding Our Reactions to Kids' Behaviors (With Elisabeth Corey)
Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ‘Unruffled’ to share healing insights she's gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. We often know how we "should" respond but can't remain calm enough to do that in the moment! As Elisabeth explains, our reactions are often indicators of past hurts that need healing, and she inspires us to explore them with curiosity and self-compassion, showing us t...
2024-09-1747 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledStrict Is Loving
Janet's "all feelings allowed" approach to parenting is sometimes misconstrued as permissive, passive, lax on boundaries. But as Janet clarifies in this episode, the exact opposite is true! She describes how acquiescing to our kids' whims and demands, giving them multiple chances to comply with our directions, or making it our job to console them when our rules disappoint can be a set-up for failure for our kids and us. She explains how respectful parenting is actually quite strict, and why, in her view, strict is much kinder and more loving than the alternative, builds better relationships, and encourages...
2024-09-1034 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledAm I Ruining My Child With Respectful Parenting? (A Parent Consultation)
A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler's feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn't teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect. She says she’s been following Janet’s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can't help but question if simply acting calm and acknowledging her feelings is the right attitude. "... This isn't getting better, it's getting worse, and I feel like maybe I'm going down the wrong path or there's something I'm doing wrong." Janet encourages this parent to be more assertiv...
2024-09-0348 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledEverything Upsets My Spirited Toddler (A Parent Consultation)
Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler's strong reactions and aggressive behavior. She seems easily and almost constantly upset—hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother—and won't be consoled. "When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, 'I know you didn't want me to take that away. I'm so sorry I had to, it was not safe.' I will pick her up and rub her back and she will slap me." Naturally, this mom wonders where such intense, angry reactions from h...
2024-08-2746 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled3 Ways to Calm Back-to-School Jitters
Starting a new school, going back to school, or starting daycare is one of the most challenging transitions for our kids —and us—at this early stage of their lives. It means a new routine, new caregivers and friends, and many unknowns. It’s normal for both parent and child to feel some trepidation, and it’s rare that our child will accept all the changes willingly or gracefully. Usually, we can expect some strong expression of feeling in the home either before, during, or after the transition—short fuses, prickliness, whining, crying, tantrums—and these feelings may linger for many mon...
2024-08-2023 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledBaffled by "Bad" Behavior? Do This First
When our kids' behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues? Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we're missing? There's often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer. In this episode, Janet responds to notes from parents who have become alarmed by their kids' recent behavior. One child seems hooked on playing that he's a "bad guy" and becomes physically aggressive. Another tells his parents he wants to hurt them. A third is sneaking food and even medicine. These par...
2024-08-1326 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHelp Kids Realize Their Potential With the Power of Less (With Kim John Payne)
When we're concerned about our kids' behavior, their stress and difficult moods, a lack of motivation, or an overall sense that we're not in harmony with them — the solution almost certainly comes down to "less." In this episode, Janet is joined by Kim John Payne, M.ED., renowned family consultant, lecturer, and author of the seminal parenting guide “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids.” The book has been aptly described as “a manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood,” and there is much of Kim’s science-backed approach which supports and c...
2024-08-0644 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledThe Scoop on Independent Play (And Myths That Get in the Way)
Children are innately driven to play, and the benefits are enormous. They're also driven to seek our attention and connection, so how can we encourage our kids' play without becoming their constant playmate? In this episode Janet dispels seven common misunderstandings that make the lifelong habit (and gift) of self-directed play much more challenging to foster. She suggests helpful alternatives that not only encourage play, but also bolster self-esteem and strengthen parent-child bonds. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special off...
2024-07-3027 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledSurviving a Storm of Emotions
Our child’s uncomfortable feelings can manifest in many ways, the most obvious being tantrums, meltdowns, or long lasting monsoonal crying jags. Often, those feelings are expressed in behaviors, sometimes aggressive. The two emails Janet addresses in this episode come from parents whose kids’ rocky moods and behaviors are persistent, no matter how much patience, love, and affection are offered. One parent writes: “Sometimes his feelings are too much for us. It's hard when the entire day is ruined because you said no to a cookie at 7:00 AM.” Another mom says her 4-year-old has started spitting, biting, and hitting in pre-s...
2024-07-2330 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledPotty Learning: What Kids Need From Us
Potty training is always an adventure, and it can be a confusing, sometimes frustrating experience. There are countless books on the subject, and there's plenty of advice from both experts and well-meaning friends and family. Since every child’s process is unique to them and depends on so many internal and external influences, it’s difficult to find a one-size-fits-all approach. In this episode, Janet responds to several questions from parents whose kids are having difficulties using the toilet. The parents describe pitfalls they're encountering and various strategies they’ve tried, but to no avail. Janet offers her pov on the...
2024-07-1638 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledAngry Flare-Ups - And He’s Only One Year Old (A Parent Consultation)
A parent consults with Janet about her one-year-old who screams, cries, "loses it anytime he’s picked up and moved to do something else or is told he can’t go somewhere.” She's concerned that it's too early for this type of behavior, wonders how to respond and if she’s doing something wrong. Janet shares her perspective and offers specific advice for handling his resistance to diaper changes, separation, and more. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.
2024-07-0937 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledRaising Creative, Critical Thinkers in a Commercialized World (with Susan Linn)
In this encore episode Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect...
2024-07-0239 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledFamily Games Your Kids Will Love
Does your family have any extra downtime this summer? This may be the perfect time to introduce your kids to some simple, giggle-inducing, creative games to play anytime and almost anywhere. I have ideas for you! These are games my kids begged me to play over and over again that would never fail to crack me up too, and even became family lore. Some of these you've definitely heard of, others my kids and I invented. None are about winning, losing, screens, or making any sort of product, just learning (without realizing it) and lots of FUN. L...
2024-06-2525 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhining
A whining child can show relentless persistence and stamina, can wear away at our will to hold our ground, maintain boundaries, and our temper. We may lose confidence and second guess ourselves: Am I doing something wrong? Am I being too rigid? Maybe I can put off my shower for an hour and play blocks. Why not ice cream for breakfast? Anything to stop the whining. Janet answers questions from some whine-weary parents, explains the why behind the whine, and how we can help our children (and ourselves!). Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: N...
2024-06-1822 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHow to Make Peace With Your Demanding Child
A parent worries her 3-year-old needs more connection, but the attention that she and her partner give him never seems to be enough, even when they make themselves available for play. He demands they play a certain way, sometimes refuses to participate, throws his toys and has tantrums when they try to hold their ground. "The play ends up becoming him just wanting to watch us play and he stops engaging," the mom says. "Any advice you can give on how to navigate these reactions from him when we can't or won't play would be much appreciated because I...
2024-06-1134 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledParenting Differently Wired Kids (with Debbie Reber)
Tilt Parenting founder Debbie Reber joins Janet to discuss the unique challenges families face as they learn to understand and support a child with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, giftedness, processing challenges, twice-exceptionality, or other neurodifferences. While Debbie's advice is especially powerful for parents of neurodivergent kids, her insights will resonate with every parent. As she says, “None of us are parenting the kid that we expected.” Later in this episode, Debbie responds to a note from a parent who is concerned about her son yelling "Stop!" when adults ask him seemingly benign questions. The parent wants to help him be more...
2024-06-0451 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledRaising Kids Who Persist Through Struggles
We all want our kids to proceed through life with confidence as they develop physically, mentally, and emotionally. Because we care so much, it can be difficult for us to watch them struggle when faced with a challenge or a new skill. It's especially tough to see them becoming so frustrated that they give up or refuse to even try in the first place, even when we've done all we can to encourage them. In this episode, Janet shares a helpful reframe and actionable guidelines for fostering our kids' healthy persistence, and then responds to some specific s...
2024-05-2832 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledFrustration, Screaming, Aggressive Behavior – When Kids Aren’t Functioning Well
Our kids' behavior can mystifying, aggravating, worrying, and sometimes even infuriating. While the answers for resolving our concerns tend to be specific and unique to each particular situation, there are also general themes that can guide us. Janet explores one such theme in this week's episode and explains how it applies to 3 different situations parents have written to her about. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Pr...
2024-05-2139 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled7 Tools to Empower Your Parenting
We all experience difficult moments with our kids, and it’s not uncommon for us to lose confidence in ourselves or feel stuck. Need a parenting boost? In this special episode, Janet shares 7 of her go-to parenting power tools, mindsets, and mantras geared to help you focus your energies most effectively and (if needed) make positive, lasting changes in your approach. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Calif...
2024-05-1427 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledFeeling Unloved, Rejected, Worried About Your Relationship with Your Child? Try This...
Janet shares a success story from a parent who describes her shame, heartbreak, "the heavy emotional load" she carried for the first 4 years of her son's life as he vehemently rejected her care, preferring his father. After reading one of Janet's articles, this mom began to see her son's behavior in a whole new light and improve her situation almost immediately. "I am now confident that whatever happens—whatever my son will throw at me (even when he hits puberty)—I can handle it." Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Plea...
2024-05-0728 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledParenting Expectations Have Changed - Kids Haven't (with Maggie Dent)
If you're the parent of young children, there's a good chance you are very hard on yourself. Australian parenting guru Maggie Dent joins Janet in this episode of “Unruffled” to discuss the unprecedented pressures and challenges today's parents face living up to ever-changing standards set by social media, peers, and even schools. Parents are often left feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. Maggie and Janet share their long view perspectives, experiences, advice, and hope. Maggie shares her extensive resources at: MaggieDent.com. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support...
2024-04-3049 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledMy Child Refuses Independent Play
With our most loving intentions as parents, we might find ourselves stuck in a full-time role we never wanted—as our child's playmate and entertainer. In this episode, a mom asks Janet for advice regarding her "bright, busy, extroverted four-year-old girl who loves having my complete attention.” Unfortunately, this parent is feeling she really needs some time to herself, but when she tries to take a break, her daughter is unwilling to let her go and seems anxious and insecure, as if this is a personal rejection.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBad...
2024-04-2338 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledAs Our Kids Get Older - 5 Ways to Continue Building Lasting Emotional Bonds
What does respectful parenting look like as our kids get older? Where can we get advice similar to Janet's but for older kids? Janet receives these kinds of questions often and takes the opportunity to answer them in this episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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2024-04-1637 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledThe Magic That Makes Kids Want to Cooperate
As parents, we all experience moments when our kids just won’t go with the program – brushing their teeth, dressing for school, cleaning up their toys, going to bed (and staying there). We ask nicely, and they ignore us. Then we ask not so nicely, and they dig their heals in. Before long we’re frustration turns to exasperation, and we either get angry or throw up our hands in surrender. At a certain age, our kids are developmentally programmed to resist us no matter how much kindness and respect we show them. So, what’s a parent to do? Some...
2024-04-0931 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledLosing It - Understanding What Makes Us Snap (Encore with Elisabeth Corey)
Janet is joined by trauma recovery expert Elisabeth Corey to answer a parent’s email about her struggles to become a respectful parent. This mom says certain behaviors of her 2.5-year old daughter set her off. “I don’t stay calm, focused, kind to my child.” And she believes her own upbringing (“in no way respectful”) is the root cause of her reactions. She is overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising her child and wants to know: “What can I do to help myself?” Janet and Elisabeth consider the common underlying issues of our own childhoods and how we can recognize an...
2024-04-0230 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledDr. Gabor Maté on Why Parents Matter More Than Ever
Physician and author Gabor Maté joins Janet to discuss the importance of developing secure attachments with our kids and why it's crucial for us to continue nurturing these bonds into their adulthood. How do we remain our children's most trusted influences while also encouraging their natural drive toward individuation? Can we maintain our role as a primary attachment figure when our child is cared for by others? How do we help kids to develop healthy relationships with peers? What's the best way to handle exposure to digital media? Gabor addresses these questions among many others and offers suggestions for m...
2024-03-2650 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhen Kids Hide Their Feelings and Reject Our Comfort
We're trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even angry, and yells at the parent to go away. The parent asks, "Do you have any advice for helping her to be more comfortable with feeling sad or angry?"Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
2024-03-1931 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledPraise That Encourages Intrinsic Motivation
We can be our kids' greatest fans, and they need us to be. How do we praise them in a manner that truly encourages them? We may have heard that "good job!" or "you're so smart!" aren't the ticket. In this episode, Janet shares her specific suggestions and a simple way we can find clarity on what can be a confusing topic. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy an...
2024-03-1230 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledShould We Resort to Using Force?
Janet consults with a couple who feel at odds with their 4-year-old at bedtime. "She stalls, refuses or delays putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, getting in bed, and staying in bed." She's also uncooperative in the mornings. The parents have conflicting ideas about how they should handle her behavior and hope Janet can offer some guidance. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at...
2024-03-0549 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledTantrums, Meltdowns, and Other Intense Outbursts: My #1 Secret for Staying Calm
How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It's never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent her daughter needs. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at...
2024-02-2728 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWe Don't Like Upsetting Our Kids
Do you sometimes say "yes" to avoid your child's negative reaction? You're definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores the reasons we doubt ourselves, particularly when it comes to personal boundaries, how to overcome our hesitancy, and why our kids really need us to. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please suppo...
2024-02-2022 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledToddlers That Won't Go to Bed (Solutions from Eileen Henry)
Eileen Henry is a pioneering sleep consultant who for decades has helped exhausted, concerned parents guide their infants and toddlers to more restorative sleep. As Janet's guest this week, Eileen shares her wisdom and detailed suggestions in response to emails from Unruffled listeners struggling mightily with their toddlers at bedtime. A one-year-old seems to get increasingly wound up as bedtime nears, escalating to biting her mother. A 23-month-old refuses to nap. An almost 3-year-old won't separate from her parent at any time of day, calls "mommy, mommy" whenever her parent leaves her side, making bedtime impossible. Eileen offers her e...
2024-02-1346 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledRaising Mentally Healthy Kids Means Letting Them Grieve
Most of us wouldn't consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In this episode, Janet shares how we can encourage our children to experience and express loss in the healthiest manner from the very beginning, starting with the first type of loss our babies experience: momentary separation from a loved one. Our response can provide th...
2024-02-0632 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledCoping with Your Child's Possessiveness
"Mine! No, he can't touch that!" Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share.In this episode, Janet explains why this behavior actually makes sense and what we can do to help kids pass through these phases readily and in a healthy manner. She illustrates by addressing a question from a parent about his 5-year old’s incessant impulse to protect hi...
2024-01-3027 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHow an Angry Mom, Hating Parenting, Found "Immediate Success"
A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. Tantrums, fighting, screaming, hitting, throwing, and all the typical toddler behavior. Gradually, she found herself yelling, threatening, using time-outs, and even spanking. She says she felt terrible and hated her life. As a veteran with 4 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, she says ironica...
2024-01-2328 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledEvery Child, Even a Tiny Baby, Deserves Time On Their Own (with Hari Grebler)
Do all human beings, even our babies, need time to themselves—freedom to make choices, initiate activities, think their own thoughts? In this episode, Janet and her special guest Hari Grebler say "yes" and explain why. Hari, a Magda Gerber protégé, was Janet's first parenting teacher. Thirty years later, Hari continues to introduce parents in her parent-infant classes to a new perspective—inspiring them to trust and become more attuned to their babies and to develop safe play spaces for them to freely explore at home. Hari and Janet discuss how this works and why it matters—not only for ou...
2024-01-1648 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledResisting, Stalling, Dilly-Dallying
Kids can wear down our patience when they seem to resist or stall us with everything we need them to do—even when we're only asking them to move through the predictable routines in their day like getting out of bed, going to or leaving school, brushing their teeth, and so on. The constant pushback and struggle make it feel impossible to stay unruffled. In this episode, Janet shares an easy-to-remember, viable alternative to the strategies, games, scripts, threats, patient waiting, or coaxing we may have unsuccessfully tried in the past (while also explaining why those responses don...
2024-01-0937 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledA Secret to Helping Our Kids Achieve (Advice for the New Year)
As parents, we are prone to worry, and a common concern is that our kids don't seem motivated enough. Perhaps they aren't mastering certain skills as quickly as we think they should or could—physically, cognitively, creatively, or socially. They might seem disinterested in doing things that we feel certain they're capable of, even when we've gently encouraged them. Naturally, this confuses us. We wonder what we can do to help. In this premiere episode for 2024, Janet offers a counterintuitive suggestion for what we might be missing and how our good intentions can backfire. Learn more about Janet...
2024-01-0225 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledMy Daughters Weigh In on Respectful Parenting (Encore)
In this encore episode, Janet’s daughters Charlotte and Madeline share candid memories from their childhoods and consider how Janet's respectful parenting style influenced their lives as toddlers, teens, and young adults. Using questions submitted to Janet's Facebook page as their guide, the sisters discuss intrinsic motivation, emotional health, independent play, sibling relationships, screen time and more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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2023-12-2632 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled7 Daily Reminders for Parents (Encore)
Inspired by a listener's request and just in time to make a new start in the New Year, Unruffled revisits Janet's list of daily reminders for helping parents face the challenges of their day with more clarity, calm, and confidence.For a deep and complete understanding of ALL these points and much, much more, check out Janet's No Bad Kids Course—an awesome gift for the holidays. Janet's bestselling books No Bad Kids and Elevating Child Care make such helpful, thoughtful stocking stuffers! Happy Holidays! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privac...
2023-12-1930 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledMaking Magical Holiday Memories
No matter how we spend our holidays, we all hope to make the most of them. In this first-ever holiday episode of Unruffled, Janet offers ideas for encouraging even our youngest children to feel a part of the festivities, and perhaps be the ones to create family traditions. Janet's suggestions include thoughts on gift giving, how to frame the story of Santa Claus without "lying," and what we can do to help our little ones manage the changes in routine and overstimulation.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her b...
2023-12-1219 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledAngry Outbursts, Screaming, and Hurtful Words
Two discouraged, desperate families write to Janet for help with 4.5-year-olds who seem perpetually angry. These children are lashing out verbally, screaming and shouting at their parents and siblings, and seem particularly explosive at the end of the day. One parent writes that her child "seems like she is very intentionally trying to be hurtful," and adds, "It doesn't seem like she should be able to get away with treating us and her sister this way." The second family writes that when picking their daughter up from school "and the tiniest thing is not right, the screaming and shouting...
2023-12-0547 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledMy Toddler Won't Separate or Warm Up to Anyone Else
While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says has always had separation anxiety and continues to need the mom's constant presence to feel comfortable and happy. Whenever this parent tries to separate, even when it's only to the next room, her toddler cries. "She is never soothed or comforted by other family members (even her dad) and will only accept comforting from me." Janet offers a small ad...
2023-11-2827 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledStop Making Mealtime a Challenge
A parent of a 27-month-old writes that her son refuses to come to the table when called and will not sit in his chair during meals. This parent says they’ve tried just removing his food when he isn't cooperating, but then “he ends up hangry… and it’s so difficult to get anything done.” So, they’ve resorted to feeding him through distractions and by following him around with food at home, in the park, and in his Yes Space while he’s playing. Eventually, he finishes a meal. Janet offers this family a shift in perspective and mealtime guide...
2023-11-2133 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhen Parents Don't See Eye to Eye (with Melina Gac Levin)
We all bring different perspectives to parenting that are borne of our upbringing, culture, or religion. Sometimes, we find these perspectives clash over basic parenting issues like sleep, healthy eating, crying, behavior, to name a few. Janet’s guest this week is Melina Gac Levin, a mother, parenting educator, and founder of Pueblo (parentpueblo.com), an educational and consulting organization that focuses on providing evidence-based advice for helping couples weave their various perspectives together. Through self-reflection, collaboration, and sometimes compromise, there's hope for all of us to find common ground. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Mast...
2023-11-1441 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledOur Strong-Willed Child Is Running the Show
A parent emails Janet with the subject line: Help! Strong Willed Child. She feels frustrated, exhausted, and completely overwhelmed by her 7-year-old's unmanageable behavior that's been continuous since he was about 3.5. She and her partner have made repeated attempts to stop his rudeness (and a host of other behaviors he knows are unacceptable), to get him to follow directions, shower, dress, and even eat. Janet encourages these parents to consider the why—why is their child acting this way? And why does his behavior cause them to react as they do? Janet explains how reflecting on those questions can bring...
2023-11-0736 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledConsequences vs Threats vs Punishments
From Janet's inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with less pushback, but to learn the concept of time, how to manage it, and to feel empowered to make choices and achieve his desires. Janet offers her thoughts on the differences between threats, consequences, and punishments, and suggests minor adjustments this family can make to better enable their goals. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master C...
2023-10-3131 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledCaring for Our Children and Ourselves in Tragic Times
Janet shares words of support.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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2023-10-2416 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhen Our Kids Are Scared
How can we help our kids overcome their fears? Most of us have the instinct to provide comfort with messages like "don't worry, you're safe, it will be alright." In this episode, Janet explains why our children often need more than our reassurance, even when their fears seem unreasonable or overblown. The key: validating and encouraging each child's intuitive process. Janet provides details by responding to notes from three families who have concerns about their children's seemingly irrational fears.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad...
2023-10-1733 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledEncouraging Kids To Be More Assertive
Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the sch...
2023-10-1030 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHow to be Strong Enough to Make the Really Big Changes
Our young kids are adaptable, so it's always possible for us to change routines, rules, and behavior patterns that we decide are no longer beneficial for us or them. Problem is, our kids are bound to object— loudly, vociferously, perhaps relentlessly—when these changes aren't their idea (which they seldom are). Our new plan may be met with whining, crying, screaming, even tantrums. And since we've played a central role in allowing our family's habits to take root, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even guilty for introducing new boundaries. As an insightful parent concerned about her children's excessiv...
2023-10-0330 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledStruggles with Independent Play
Self-directed play is a gift that keeps giving with profound benefits for every aspect of our children's development. As an added bonus, nurturing our child's ability to self-entertain affords us the occasional much-deserved break. So, cultivating independent play and establishing it as a habit is well worth the effort. Unfortunately, no matter how early we start noticing, valuing, and then encouraging our children's inner-directed play choices, there can be setbacks along the way. In this episode, Janet responds to emails from parents who describe their own setbacks. One parent shares how her 14-month-old flits from toy to toy, then...
2023-09-2639 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledMean Words, Aggressive Behavior, Stalling, and Other Signs Kids Need Our Help
Janet responds to several messages from parents who feel stumped as to how to respond effectively to their children's behaviors. A 4-year-old has been lashing out at his mom and schoolmates. A kindergartner calls her brother "stupid.” Another kindergartner can't pull herself together to get to school on time without her mother doing 95% of the work. Janet offers general guidelines for responding to unsettled children and, more specifically, how her suggestions can be applied to easing the behavior issues in each of these scenarios. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.He...
2023-09-1938 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledMeltdowns That Keep Happening, Even When We're Doing Everything Right
A parent writes that she's feeling helpless and desperate about her 3-year-old's frequent, intense meltdowns, which sometimes last up to an hour. This mom says they usually "relate to control and power struggles where he tells me or my husband to do something." And although she remains calm, responds with empathetic words, assures him that it's okay to be mad, offers hugs, and tries to acknowledge his feelings, nothing seems to help. Often her responses seem to make him angrier. Understandably, she eventually loses her patience. "I will likely end up screaming at him because I literally can’t han...
2023-09-1228 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledRaising Motivated, Self-Confident, Less Stressed Kids in an Age of Anxiety (with Dr. William Stixrud)
Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led to conclusions that complement and support Janet's own parenting philosophy, especially topics such as encouraging self-confidence, intrinsic motivation, and inner-directedness. And since many of Bill's clients have been with him from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, he has the benefit of seeing the results of his practice. Bill and Janet discuss the value of giving our kids op...
2023-09-0550 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHow to Connect with Your Upset Child, Even When There's More Than One
Janet responds to a parent with a toddler and four-year-old who struggles to connect with her kids individually, and neither reacts well when the other is getting mom’s attention. For instance, she says when she tries to give her older son some lap time, “my 18-month-old clearly gets jealous and starts squealing, attempting to climb on me, hitting his brother.” She’s wondering if it’s possible to really connect with either child when both are upset.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors....
2023-08-2921 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledProblems with Punishments (Described by a Parent Who Used Them) with Michelle Kenney
As a teacher, Michelle Kenney used punishments and rewards to motivate and manage children's behavior in her classroom. Then she became a mom. When her second daughter was born, her first child began exhibiting the typical behavior of an older, displaced child. She talked back, threw tantrums, and at one point became dangerously rough with her little sister. Frustrated and worried, Michelle’s instinct was to discipline her daughter with yelling and punishments, but she soon found that this approach was having the opposite effect and only driving a wedge between them. Introduced by chance to a gentle parenting coa...
2023-08-2233 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledTeaching Kids About Personal Space
Toddlers and preschoolers are driven to learn everything about their world, and they are particularly intrigued by the people in it: peers, family members, kids, grown-ups, and most of all their parents. A key aspect of their socialization is learning about personal boundaries, understanding how to assert theirs and respect those of others. They need our help with that. In her response to a parent's question about her 2.5 year old hitting children who invade his space, Janet explains how we teach these invaluable lessons and why they matter. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at No...
2023-08-1523 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledFears Around Starting School
A parent writes that her 5-year-old is afraid to start kindergarten. Though she’s sympathetic that this is a big transition for her son, as he’s never been cared for by anyone but his grandparents or a cousin, she’s recovering from breast cancer and also has a two-year-old, so she needs this to work. While she and her husband both try to validate his feelings and talk about the fun parts of school, he ends up whining and breaking down, saying he isn’t going to like it and doesn’t want to go. She’s struggling and admits...
2023-08-0822 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledParent Traps
Kids seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting our vulnerabilities as parents. And as adept learners and explorers, they can't help but keep pressing the buttons they discover in us. It can be easy for us to get stuck in an uncomfortable, unproductive cycle.Janet shares two recent interactions she's had with friends who are concerned about disconcerting new tendencies they've noticed in their children. One parent says her daughter is portraying herself as a constant victim, blaming others for every mishap, even for her own errors and misdeeds. Another writes that when h...
2023-08-0125 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHealing Our Perfectionism (with Emma Nadler)
Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eden, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had to confront her preconceptions of motherhood, self-judgment, and especially her tendency toward perfectionism. In her conversation with Janet, she describes her complex journey through grief, joy, and loneliness as she navigates her unexpected life. Throughout, she shares a powerful message of acceptance when life doesn’t go as planned. Emma's memoir "The Unlikely Village of Eden" is avai...
2023-07-2541 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhat Science Says About Respectful Parenting (with Anya Dunham, PhD)
When scientist Anya Dunham was expecting her first baby, she decided to take a deep dive into the science behind various parenting techniques and philosophies. She was particularly drawn to the ideas Janet shares from the work of Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler, because they complemented her own intuition. Anya joins Janet to discuss her research, how it supports the tenets of respectful parenting, and how parents can trust both science and their own intuition in the parenting experience. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids...
2023-07-1840 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledOur Child Won't Listen
The parent of a 4-year-old says he and his partner “have done the best we can to follow the principles of positive parenting,” but their boy has been refusing to follow instructions and often seems to ignore them entirely. His behavior is unsafe around their toddler and newborn, so this couple is struggling to remain calm and respectful. Janet offers them some insights and strategies to connect with their son and hopefully bring some peace to the household. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler D...
2023-07-1119 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhen Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-By-Step Response)
A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying...
2023-07-0537 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHow To Help a Frustrated Child
It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience?Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad...
2023-06-2722 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledMental Health Starts in Infancy (with Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon)
“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. An...
2023-06-2039 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledOur Fears as Parents - Real and Imagined (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)
Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we...
2023-06-1347 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledLet Kids Choose... Except When They Can't
As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more c...
2023-06-0629 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledRaising Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for a Meaningful Life (with Susan David)
In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they’re no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves.Janet's "No Bad Kids Maste...
2023-05-3043 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhat To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say
Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and...
2023-05-2325 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledIt's Not Too Late
Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found Unruffled. She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions. She says her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels gu...
2023-05-1624 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledThe Science of Intimacy With Our Kids (With Dr. Taniesha Burke)
Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer, more rewarding, and lifelong. Janet's guest Dr. Taniesha Burke is a researcher and pa...
2023-05-0938 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledGetting Real With How We Feel (With Elisabeth Corey)
“When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.”Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her teens from severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As an adult, that horrific period of her life was wiped from her memory, but the birth of her twins triggered painful flashbacks. Elisabeth has not only championed her own recovery but dedicated her life and work to helping others—breaking the cycle of abuse through conscious parenting. Janet and Eliza...
2023-05-0246 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWords That Get in Our Way
Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are perceiving them moment to moment. So, generally, memorized scripts or phrases aren’t going to be as important as our true feelings and intentions. However, in this episode, Janet switches gears to describe 3 situations where our words actually do matter. In these instances, word choices can affect our perceptions of our children, hinder our ability to connect with the...
2023-04-2519 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledIt Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From Allowing Kids' Feelings
Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In this episode, Janet shares several notes from parents who describe how making the effort to practice this perspective has paid off in major breakthroughs in their relationships with their children. One parent writes: “I have tears in my eyes as I wri...
2023-04-1825 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledWhen Our Child Won't Accept Boundaries
Janet responds to an email from a parent who admits she struggles to establish personal boundaries. She says she has "hit rock bottom" regarding her relationship with her 2-year-old. She tries to set limits and then acknowledge his feelings when he reacts, but he screams and cries, and she can't get her work done. She believes her son is "making it very clear that I need a drastic change if I want our relationship to be a two-way street."Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury.Her best-selling books “No Bad Ki...
2023-04-1125 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledHow to Help Kids Behave in Restaurants, Church, Storytime, Music Class, and More
We all have certain hopes and expectations of our children when it comes to their behavior in public settings, both organized and informal. We’re often disappointed. The reality is that in any given situation, not every young child will handle themselves with the kind of interest and attention we desire or expect, even when other children seem to have it all together. Janet offers 9 suggestions for how we can better understand our children’s behavior in these moments and how to support them to benefit from the experiences. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at No...
2023-04-0428 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledProblems With Other People's Children
As conscious parents, we're doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children's behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids' lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, what do we do when our kids are faced with these new and uncomfortable situations? And what is the best way to interact gracefully and helpfully with parents who aren’t on the same page?Janet shares 3 notes from parents w...
2023-03-2832 min
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury UnruffledPreparing Our Children to Be Emotionally Healthy Teens (With Phinnah Chichi)
Janet’s guest this week is Phinnah Chichi, an author, lecturer, and parenting coach whose inspired ideas and worldview help to educate and empower both teens and their parents. Phinnah’s work and philosophy dovetail with Janet’s focus on infants and toddlers. Both prioritize communication, trust, and connection to encourage emotional and social skills, and ultimately to forge lasting parent/child relationships. Phinnah's website: parentingteenssolutions.com. Her book is available on Amazon.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Disc...
2023-03-2137 min