Shows
Swords and SatireSatirist Skit - Eragon: The Fat Melts Right Into The MeatWe decided to recreate Jack’s favorite scene from Eragon, the butcher’s shop scene in Eragon’s hometown, but we put our own little zany twist on it. So buckle up and listen in for some slice of life action that is so mundane that it’s funny!
2023-05-2705 minSwords and SatireEpisode 139 - The NorthmanThis week we, your hosts Jamie, Chelsea and Jack, share our take on the brutal Viking tragedy, The Northman, in which a large, angry man exacts a tortuous revenge against his uncle, who killed his dad, Ethan Hawke. While the movie could be difficult to watch at times, the fart jokes and body humor helped break up the scenes of bloody killing. This modern adaptation of the Scandinavian folktale that inspired Hamlet is like one long Viking metal music video that tugs at your heartstrings and at your bowels. The film had us so engrossed we couldn’t look aw...
2022-04-301h 30Swords and SatireEpisode 127 - FrozenJack finally convinced us to include Frozen in a movie poll and the patrons picked it! Check out our take on this strange Disney film. You’ll find out why we think it’s so weird, hear us weigh in on the trans allegory debate, and discover who the true villain of the movie is. Also, if you ever wondered, Why is Olaf?, then you’ve come to the right place! Listen to our hot takes, then share yours on social media with us @swordsandsatire!
2022-02-051h 12Swords and SatireWelcome to Swords and Satire!Do you love fantasy movies and shows? If so, have we got the podcast for you! Jamie Mockel, Chelsea Halliwell, and Jack Olander are three charming, lovable nerds (just ask our listeners) who get together every week to talk about fantasy fiction with our trademark brand of insightful wit and irreverent humor. In every episode we venture deep into the themes, scenes, and lore of these movies and shows, while also making playful - and occasionally outrageous - jokes about what we watch. New episodes are available every Satire-day (that’s Saturday)!
2021-08-1401 minSwords and SatireEpisode 94 - InkheartThis week we cover a fantasy film about a fictional person called a “reader,” who can pull something called “words” from a thing called a “book.” Listen in as we stumble through trying to understand what type of adaptation this is and to our attempt to make sense of this convoluted film. We also share some lore from the source novel Inkheart, and compare the novel to the movie we watched. We also ask, and try to answer, all of the questions you never thought you would have about bards with literal god-like powers. (sound effects courtesy of zapsplat.com)
2021-06-261h 13Swords and SatireEpisode 93 - Satire TV, Warrior Nun (S1, E4): Ecclesiasticus 26: 9-10In this episode on Warrior Nun we discuss the growing tensions and animosity between the Order of the Cruciform Sword (nun squad) and Arq Tech (portal scientists), as well as the struggle within Ava between living mas or playing the hero. There is also dissent within the church ranks, and everyone just wants a piece of that divine pie, so that they can control others and the narrative. Listen in as we speculate wildly about Ava’s emerging powers, the motivations of the different stakeholders, who can be trusted and who is and is not a demon in disguise. ...
2021-06-1958 minSwords and SatireEpisode 92 - The Black CauldronThis week we cover Disney’s biggest animated flop, which became a cult classic and has a prime space in our hearts, The Black Cauldron. This movie subverts classic fantasy tropes about destiny, teaching us that nothing is written in stone. The story turns the usual prophecy narrative on its head, not only by having an oracular pig, but also by placing the focus on the problem to be solved, and not on a chosen one. We like the idea that anyone could rise up to face a problem and become a hero along with their friends and allies th...
2021-06-121h 17Swords and SatireEpisode 91 - Satire TV, Warrior Nun (S1, E3): Ephesians 6:11Okay folks, this week we are talking about the next episode of Warrior Nun! This is the one in which Ava tackles with some difficult decisions about faith and belonging, and if she is going to join the holy nun squad or live mas. Listen in as we break down some meaty themes like the justification of violence within the Order of the blah-blah Sword, angelic powers based on faith and belief in oneself, and problematic historical perspectives. We also get up to our usual antics and rope into our discussion things like divinium-toed work shoes, portals to Hell...
2021-06-0554 minSwords and SatireEpisode 90 - Jumanji (1995)This week we cover the adventure fantasy classic from 1995, Jamanji, chosen by our lovely patrons! We discuss how working through grief and trauma with others can help with finding closure, how it can be dangerous when workers don’t own the means of production, and how games and fantasy don’t always have to be a means of escape, and that they can sometimes help with the healing process. Who knew these were all themes from a children’s fantasy movie about a jungle-themed game? Plus, one of the main timelines of the film takes place in 1969. Nice!
2021-05-291h 14Swords and SatireEpisode 89 - Satire TV, Warrior Nun (S1, E2): Proverbs 31:25This week we bring you our second installment of our Satire TV series on the Warrior Nun show, or Nun Squad as we are affectionately calling it. In this episode, Eva is attempting to gain more independence, while Mary is tracking down the mercenaries that attacked them in the first episode. Eva ends up getting separated from her friends and into quite a bit of trouble, but she still doesn’t rely upon her newfound powers. Listen in to hear us discuss the themes of this episode, like faith, legacy, power and ownership, and nuns with swords. We also ta...
2021-05-2257 minSwords and SatireEpisode 88 - Just VisitingThis week we cover loyalty, betrayal, freedom, and deeply uncomfortable bawdy humor in our discussion of Just Visiting, a hot, fun mess of an adventure movie. Listen in to hear us talk about a comedic fantasy that focuses on personal power and self-confidence with a dash of class struggle and time travel thrown in there to sweeten the pot. Do you have the courage to watch a twenty year old comedy like we did? Perhaps only time will tell. (sound effects courtesy of zapsplat.com)
2021-05-1557 minSwords and SatireEpisode 87 - Satire TV, Warrior Nun (S1, E1): Psalms 46:5Hello fantasy fans! This week we kick off a new mini series of Satire TV for you, and we will be covering the first season of Warrior Nun, the Netflix show about holy women, or female bodied individuals, duking it out with demons and the denizens of evil, or entities with a complex morality system. In this first episode of Warrior Nun we are introduced to the main character Ava, and follow along as she begins to figure out her new superpowers as one who holds The Halo. We get to know the nun squad that are our perspective...
2021-05-0855 minSwords and SatireEpisode 86 - The NeverEnding StoryThis week we ponder the big questions like: What do luck dragons like children so much?, What do we really learn in school?, and, What is the Nothing anyway? This is all part of our discussion about the classic 80’s fantasy film, The NeverEnding Story. This is a tale about the struggles between the light and the dark, and an epic quest to save our collective imaginations. And we all learn a little something about ourselves along the way. So slap on your headphones to hear about how hope can overcome despair, the death of the author and co-created wo...
2021-05-011h 19Swords and SatireEpisode 85 - Satire TV, The Witcher (S1, E8): Much MoreThis week on Satire TV we offer our final take on the first season of The Witcher as we talk about the episode “Much More.” All of the storylines come to a head in this episode with the battle at Sodden Hill, and as the hand of destiny finally brings Geralt and Ciri together. Listen in to hear us discuss fever dreams and vision quests, the law of surprise trap, fanatical cults, forbidden magics, and earworm sleeper agents. We also want to thank you all for listening to our first Satire TV series, and we will have much more to s...
2021-04-241h 05Swords and SatireEpisode 84 - How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden WorldThis week we come bearing the auditory gift of dragon training for you all as we cover this movie that is the culmination of an animated saga. This is our patron chosen movie for the month of sequels, so if it sucks it’s not our fault (the movie...not our show). In this episode we not only discuss this movie, but the franchise as a whole, making special note of the overarching themes that ultimately fall flat and uncomfortable ideals that have crept into our feel-good fantasy movies. Listen in to hear our take on this series, and ou...
2021-04-171h 15Swords and SatireEpisode 83 - Satire TV, The Witcher (S1, E7): Before A FallWe cover the penultimate episode of the Witcher this week, in which Ciri steals a nice lady’s horse and speaks a prophecy, Geralt breaks out of timeout jail to look for Ciri, and Yennefer tries to hook up with a booty call forty years too late and pouts at a mage’s meeting. We discuss the themes of this episode, including loyalty, trust, betrayal, and lineage. And of course, no discussion of The Witcher would be complete without talking about prophecies, destiny, alternate timelines, and burning it all down with fire!
2021-04-1053 minSwords and SatireEpisode 82 - Mythica 2: The DarksporeIn this mighty month of sequels, we bring you our episode on Mythica 2, and continue the adventure for gold and glory along with Marek and friends. In this sequel our troubled heroes collectively go through a dark night of the soul, and Marek must continue to resist her dark suck powers. They gain a new companion named Qole, and everyone in the party develops google-y eyes for each other. Listen in to hear us discuss their quest for the darkspore and who the true villain of the movie might be. We also have a special intro skit for you...
2021-04-031h 30Swords and SatireEpisode 81 - Satire TV, The Witcher (S1, E6): Rare SpeciesWe have another Witcher episode for you this week on Satire TV, and we cover the episode, “Rare Species,” about dragons (who knew they were still around?), monsters (hint: the true monsters are still humans), and heroes (not shown in this episode). We also gain more insight into Geralt and Yennefer’s relationship, and learn about the Nilfguaardian prophecy. Listen in to hear us talk about the dark night of the soul, Yen’s magical ineptitude, and Jaskier’s mid-life crisis.
2021-03-271h 17Swords and SatireEpisode 80 - Monster HunterThis week we watched Monster Hunter and got together around the old podcasting mic to tell the tales of the trials and tribulations of this film. This movie is based on a game of the same name and features a great cast that don't make it very far, while Milla Jovovich gets to pal around with Tony Jaa and Ron Perlman shooting rockets at kaiju monsters. Listen into this episode to hear us talk about movies based on video games with a target demographic of 10 to 12 year olds, how chocolate can contribute to problematic cultural relations and racist overtones...
2021-03-201h 29Swords and SatireEpisode 79 - Satire TV, The Witcher (S1, E5): Bottled AppetitesThis week it’s time for another Satire TV as we cover episode five of The Witcher, in which Geralt and Jaskier stir up a genie, causing them to cross paths with Yennefer at long last in search of a cure. This episode also introduces the doppler, hired by the black knight of the Nilfgaardian army to kidnap Ciri and deliver her to them unharmed. This is also the episode colloquially known as the orgy episode. Enough said. Listen in to hear us talk about the interplay between pleasure and pain, how Yennefer is perpetuating a cycle of abuse, an...
2021-03-131h 11Swords and SatireEpisode 78 - I Kill GiantsJoin us this week to hear us talk about the epic fantasy, small town adventure movie, I Kill Giants, in which a tween named Barbara hunts and kills giants, seeing herself as the lone hero on a sacred quest to vanquish these beings of hate and save her town and her loved ones. There are many layers to this movie, like an onion, or a cake, or something else with many layers, but we are here to help you sort them all out! Listen in to hear our take on the symbolism of the giants, what it means to...
2021-03-061h 35Swords and SatireEpisode 77 - Satire TV, The Witcher (S1, E4): Of Banquets, Bastards and BurialsThis week we continue with our new Satire TV tradition as we discuss episode four of The Witcher, Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials, in which Geralt and Jaskier attend a cursed banquet, Ciri and Dara get lost and have a drug trip in the woods, and Yennefer has to protect a queen and her infant child from a bug shark and a mad assassin, but she ends up getting a burial instead. Join us this week to hear us talk about destiny, who has the right to create the narrative, power and control, the violence of the state, and...
2021-02-271h 23Swords and SatireEpisode 76 - OnwardThis week we covered the 2020 Pixar movie Onward, the heartwarming and horrific tale of two Elven brothers who go on an epic quest to bring their father back to life for one day! Listen in to hear us talk about the eldritch horror of the Dad Legs (seems to be a theme for us of late), adventure-based economies and magical communist utopias, as well as the underlying sexual tension of the film (which is probably overlooked by most viewers). We also point out the various positive messages of the film despite the horror that are the Dad Legs. All...
2021-02-201h 12Swords and SatireEpisode 75 - Satire TV, The Witcher (S1, E3): Betrayer MoonIt’s another Satire TV week, and this time we talk about episode three of the Witcher show, Betrayer Moon, in which Geralt battles a striga, Yennefer goes through a transformation, and Ciri is lured into an unknown wood. Listen in to hear us talk about how power and control are linked with beauty standards in women’s lives, how people can become trapped within systems of control, and how personal autonomy and agency is constantly contested for the characters of this show. And no discussion about the Witcher would be complete without talking about the patriarchy!
2021-02-131h 15Swords and SatireEpisode 74 - Beauty and the Beast (2017)This week we watched the 2017 live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast, a movie about Stockholm Syndrome and punishment...or true love and redemption, whichever you prefer. Maybe a little bit of everything? In this episode we talk about the eldritch horror that is the sentient furniture and knick-knacks, the capitalist myth of the happy and diligent servant who lives to serve, and how Disney hates mothers. We also speculate about symbolism of the curse of the rose. Listen in and wonder for yourself what is the connection between inner beauty and true love? And what even is true...
2021-02-061h 29Swords and SatireEpisode 73 - Satire TV, The Witcher (S1, E2): Four MarksThis week on Satire TV we talk about episode two of the Witcher show, titled, Four Marks, delving deeper into our discussion about destiny and fate, how magic works in the Witcher world, and definitions of personhood and how people are treated if they are designated as the Other. We explore new themes as well, including how control and power work on the Witcher Earth, and the ways in which this may constrain certain characters and lead to strife between groups. We also get to talk about a new character from this episode, Yennefer!
2021-01-3055 minSwords and SatireEpisode 72 - The Lord of the Rings: The Two TowersThis week we share our take on The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, a patron selected movie! After the decade that was 2020 we came at this movie with a new perspective and realized it just might be the best movie about hope and finding a reason to “keep calm, and carry on” that we needed to hear at the beginning of 2021. Check out this episode to hear our thoughts on what symbols of hope can be found in this movie, and how these messages can be applicable to our lives IRL.
2021-01-231h 40Swords and SatireEpisode 71 - Satire TV, The Witcher (S1, E1): The End’s BeginningHey there fantasy fans, and welcome to our first Satire TV episode, in which we talk about fantasy TV shows! Listen in to hear about this new format for our show, and don’t worry, we do our best to be as spoiler free as possible, just in case you are watching along with our show! Our first series will be on The Witcher, starting with the first episode, The End’s Beginning, and we will follow this series every other week in between our regular movie episodes. In this episode we talk about the magic and dark prophecies in t...
2021-01-161h 03Swords and SatireEpisode 70 - WW84 (Wonder Woman 1984)This week the Satirists cover a timely film for once (wink wink, nudge nudge), in this episode on Wonder Woman 1984. Listen in for the latest scoop on the problematic nature of classic movie tropes about beauty, the importance of 80’s fashion shows, the problems with the capitalist myth of scarcity, and how magic wishing stones work in practice. The crew also has a bone to pick (bones to pick?) with the editors of this film or whoever made the decisions that created the scenario that we got, like burying the lead when it comes to why we should care ab...
2021-01-091h 13Swords and SatireEpisode 69 - New Year Special, Mini EpisodeThis week the Satirists share a special New Year’s mini episode with you! Listen in to hear all about who these wacky characters are, how they got into fantasy, and the origins of the Swords & Satire podcast. You also get to hear other important tidbits, like the criteria the Satirists use for what movies they watch for the show, their favorite movie of the show so far, what their D&D alignments and classes are, and more! Check it out to hear how the sausage gets made.
2021-01-0256 minSwords and SatireEpisode 68 - Elf (Holiday Special)Alright, we have a holiday treat for all of our listening fans out there! This week we are doing another full length episode on a movie that was voted on by our patrons, Elf, starring Will Ferrell and Zoey Deschanel. This is a holiday movie that actually delivers on at least some of its themes and messages unlike the Polar Express, which we watched last week. In this episode we really dig deep into Buddy’s character and we work to figure out why he’s so child-like and how that quality affects the other characters around him in the...
2020-12-261h 15Swords and SatireEpisode 67 - The Polar ExpressThis week the Satirists cover the horribly dystopian reality that is The Polar Express, also known as The Christmas Train to Hell. Listen in to hear their take on this film, covering topics such as the Christmas Panopticon, the North Pole as an Orwellian factory town, the Abduction Conductor, and strange elven holiday rituals reminiscent of Midsommer. Join in as they delve into a world where people are intimidated into group think, where Christmas cheer is enforced, where dissent is not tolerated, and all children are indoctrinated into the cult of Santa. You will also get to hear their...
2020-12-191h 17Swords and SatireEpisode 66 - The Crown and The DragonThis week the Satirists watched The Crown and The Dragon, and tried to suss out what the film is about in real time for your listening pleasure. Could it be about romance blooming in harsh times? Or about a political plot to overthrow the current regime of rulers and reinstate a rightful king? Perhaps it is about an epic battle with a dragon and healing the land? Or even how the time space continuum as we know it is horribly flawed? Well, with your help dear listeners we may figure this one out yet! Listen in to hear how...
2020-12-121h 04Swords and SatireEpisode 65 - Rewriting History, “Re-Enchanted”This week the Satirists imagine a sequel to Enchanted, pulling from such disparate influences as “Adaptation” with Nicholas Cage, “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” with Bob Hoskins, and “Stranger Than Fiction” with Will Ferrell and Emma Thompson. Listeners will get to hear in real time as the team discovers the plot to create the sequel “Disenchanted” in real life, and how they weave this into a metanarrative about their rewrite. Join the Satirists on their epic journey as they weave a narrative web linking actual screenwriter Bill Kelly with the characters he wrote about in the original film, including forest druid Giselle an...
2020-12-0556 minSwords and SatireEpisode 64 - EnchantedThis week the Satirists watched Enchanted, a movie that is somehow oddly prescient about the November 2020 political climate in the US, relating to the transfer of power, or lack thereof! (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) Is this movie actually pushing antiquated and limiting ideas about true love as a type of chosen one, and perpetuating traditional gender roles, or is it simply that Giselle is the most powerful druid in the multiverse? Listen in as the Satirists break down this movie’s themes and critique it’s lack of thematic follow through. But damn if this movie isn’t fun to wat...
2020-11-291h 19Swords and SatireEpisode 63 - Rewriting History, “Son of a Witch!”This week the Satirists are here, just doing their best to salvage a rewrite from the film they watched last week, Seventh Son. In their reboot, the Satirists highlight Tom’s half-witchy-ness over his birth status (what the original should have done, rework Jeff Bridges, or Gregory if you like, as a stoner druid (a la The Dude), and give Mother Malkin a romanticized makeover as the noble leader of a band of freedom fighters (a la Children of Men). Join the team as they reimagine this movie into the life and times of a magical social worker and hi...
2020-11-2145 minSwords and SatireEpisode 62 - Seventh SonThis week the esteemed Satirists bring you a fantastic, yet convoluted film about a passionate love lost to tragedy, a young squire “trained” in the noble profession of monster hunting, a fey break-up gone terribly wrong, and a booty call - in the parlance of our times - gone drastically awry. Join our speaking troupe as we weave a yarn about the folktales of the seventh sons of seventh sons, what powers they may wield, and the curses that may befall such special folk. Is this a clever movie disguised as a stupid one, or the other way around? Plea...
2020-11-141h 11Swords and SatireEpisode 61 - Rewriting History - Double Feature, “Queen of the Damned: Goddesses of Rock and Roll,” and “Queen of the Damned: Trapped in the Coffin”The Satirists have recorded another creative and zany episode of Rewriting History, in which the team, along with special guest Casey, reimagines the movie Queen of the Damned as two distinct feature films. This can be your soundtrack to the apocalypse, and who knows what form that will take? It could be civil unrest, environmental degradation, the pandemic, aliens from outer space, robots from the future, or mopey, slumdog vampires. You’ll never know until it starts. The crew discusses Nu Metal fashion, ancient Egyptian political intrigue, vampire lore, emotional turmoil, and redemption arcs. Listen in to hear how th...
2020-11-071h 01Swords and SatireEpisode 60 - Queen of the DamnedThis week your faithful Satirists cover some good old vampy fun in their discussion of Queen of the Damned, a movie stuck in that early 2000’s spooky goth, sad vampire phase. We all know that eternity is lonely, and it’s hard to get to know humans if you must feed on them for sustenance. There’s no one who can appreciate how brooding and cool and sexy you are. Whoa is Lestat! Listen in to hear the Satirists, and their special guest, talk about the narcissism of immortality, how not to be a lonely vampire, funerial venn diagrams, and go...
2020-10-311h 29Swords and SatireEpisode 59 - Rewriting History “Ursula”Mermaids, unicorns, polyps, and aswangs, you won’t know what planet you’re on, in this week's mini episode of Rewriting History! This week the Satirist crew takes on the patriarchy by retelling The Little Mermaid through the eyes of Ursula, painting her as the unsung anti-hero of this classic tale, in the style of Maleficent, the movie covered in last week’s episode. Tune in to hear the Satirists spin a yarn of magical underwater kingdoms, political mermaid intrigue, princely heists, and a battle against a gigantic sea king.
2020-10-2447 minSwords and SatireEpisode 58 - MaleficentThis week for Scares & Satire the Satirists discuss a film about feminine power, redemption, true love, and how filthy fairies truly are as they share their take on Maleficent with their special guest and good friend Miki! This film doesn’t pull any punches and wears its themes on its sleeve, drawing viewers into the philosophical dilemmas that exist in the liminal spaces of capitalism v. socialism, the patriarchy v. feminine power, childhood v. adulthood, and rich fantasy v. cold pragmatism. Listen in to hear how the Satirists break down and explore these themes and ponder the nature of tr...
2020-10-171h 20Swords and SatireEpisode 57 - Rewriting History, “Errementari: Work Is Hell”Join the Satirists on their imaginal journey through the mythical underworld as a corporate hellscape in their off-shoot idea to Errementari that is a workplace sitcom based in Hell. They outline their ideas for the adventures of a newly created demon, named Borgo (yes, we realize now that Gordon may have been a better name), who tries to fit into his new role while trying to do as little work as possible. Brogo makes allies, friends, and enemies, through little to no effort on his part, and travels through the layers of Hell, breaks into Heaven at one point...
2020-10-1049 minSwords and SatireEpisode 56 - Errementari: The Blacksmith and The DevilThis week the Satirists kick off another Scares and Satires season with Errementari, a period gothic fantasy horror film featuring demons, gods among men (blacksmiths), and little girls who kick ass. The crew discusses the beautifully dark aesthetics of the film, how the bland evil of bureaucratic systems is equated with the pure evil of demonic agendas in the movie, and what it must be like to work for your corporate overlords in Hell. Listen in to hear them talk about their take on this unique film, and to hear their special intro skit!
2020-10-031h 03Swords and SatireEpisode 55 - Rewriting History, “Masters of the Multiverse: Darkness Rising”This week the Satirists created a special Rewriting History episode, casting their Fantasy Avengers team in a movie script of their own design! Listen in to hear their scheme for how the villain Darkness, from the movie Legend, makes his way back into reality to ultimately rule over the entire multiverse. But, Darkness does not run unchecked, oh no, for the Satirists have a plot to thwart him filled with heroes, gods, and magical artifacts that is sure to leave you hanging on the edge of your seat. Tune in for the exciting twists, turns, and silly plot contrivances...
2020-09-261h 11Swords and SatireEpisode 54 - The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the RingWell, they finally did it. This week the Satirists talk about their fantasy roots and creative inspirations through a discussion of the all time classic fantasy movie, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Listen in to hear them discuss the impact that culture and subjectivity have on art and media, the morality of orcs created only for evil, and how it takes a fellowship to achieve an otherwise impossible task. Don’t miss the crew hashing out the answer to one of the most important questions of the LOTR series: How did Sauron get that ri...
2020-09-191h 17Swords and SatireEpisode 53 - Fantasy Avengers Special, Part 1This week the Satirists have created something of a meta Rewriting History episode, in which they have each assembled their own fantasy avengers, based on characters from the movies they have watched throughout their first year of podcasting. They used criteria from the mascot movie of the show, Conan The Barbarian, to create archetypes that each character fulfills to form the perfect fantasy avengers team. Then the Satirists voted on which characters they thought best fit into each role. Listen in to hear more about what these archetypes are, and which characters made the cut! Plus tune in for...
2020-09-121h 26Swords and SatireEpisode 52 - Conan The DestroyerJoin the Satirists as they share their epic one year anniversary episode! For their first year the team wanted to highlight their flagship first movie, Conan The Barbarian, by analyzing the sequel, Conan The Destroyer. Listen in to hear their witty banter and spirited conversation about the movie they chose for this special occasion, which turned out to be quite the flop! Your won’t want to miss out on their discussion of how magic is tied to class struggle and power dynamics in the Conan universe, the right ways to build tension and conflict in a plot, and th...
2020-09-051h 26Swords and SatireEpisode 51 - Rewriting History, “How To train Your Dragon 2: Look Who’s Training Now”This week the Satirists delve into the muck and the mire of dragon goo to recreate this film as it should have been. They call for more of Hiccup and Astrid exploring the landscape, they call for a better villain, they call for more dragon on dragon action, and they call for a more compelling reason why Hiccup’s mother abandoned him for twenty years. The team even makes a case for resurrecting the all-thing (pronounced all-ting), an ancient Viking council tradition. Listen in to hear their ideas for how to turn this movie into a dragon hoard of go...
2020-08-2943 minSwords and SatireEpisode 50 - How To Train Your Dragon 2This week your trusty Satirists delve into a discussion about the film How To Train Your Dragon 2, a movie about family, unity, forgiveness and acceptance … except for whenever it isn’t. Listen in to hear the team pick apart the shoddy themes of this movie with a critical approach, yet with their typical light-hearted zeal. The Satirists also delve into a deep analysis of the erroneous uses of alpha theory, which is explored in the movie, and they compare this to other forms of junk science. Also, don’t miss their teaser ideas for next week’s episode of Rewritin...
2020-08-221h 10Swords and SatireEpisode 49 - Rewriting History, “Red Riding Hood 2: Blood Moon Rising”Listen in to hear the first full Rewriting History mini-episode this week, in which the Satirists pitch a rewrite and a sequel to Red Riding Hood. The team imagines a more active role for Valerie, and they discuss what the movie would be like as a medieval teen high school flick. Don’t miss their ideas for a sequel, in which the brothers Grimm make an appearance, along with some trouble in the werewolf ranks. Oh yeah, there’s also a werewolf cult! Join them on this imaginal journey and leave your comments on the Swords & Satire social media plat...
2020-08-1548 minSwords and SatireEpisode 48 - Red Riding HoodThis week the Satirists unravel the Cthulian conspiracy that exists between the frames of the 2011 film Red Riding Hood, and uncover one town’s sinister plot to take over the world. Unwary viewers might be fooled by the surface themes of personal autonomy, class struggle, or a love triangle, but your dedicated Satirists know the truth. Sure the townsfolk might be plagued by a werewolf problem, but that is of no concern to the town itself, which only has the motivation to expand its own dark and sinister influence. Beware viewer of your mind becoming entangled in the unknowable no...
2020-08-081h 20Swords and SatireEpisode 47 - Can You Roleplay It? (CYRI), Princess MononokeThis week the Satirists discuss novel ways of beginning your campaigns and creating political alliances with the gods in their CYRI episode for Princess Mononoke. The team suggests using a curse to pull your players into your plot, mimicking the beginning of the film, but they take this a step further with several creative approaches. They also suggest building multiple possible pathways into your campaign, and discuss how to create compelling villains and storylines.
2020-08-0142 minSwords and SatireEpisode 46 - Princess MononokeThis week the Satirists decided to talk about a masterpiece for a change in their discussion of the classic, animated film, Princess Mononoke, which was also the patron’s choice for this month. Their analysis covers a wide range of topics, including nature versus civilization, the ideal of balance, and the nature of toxic goo. The audience perspective character, Prince Ashitaka (meaning brighter tomorrow), shows us a version of a warrior that is a true protector and peace-keeper, who seeks to find balance and harmony between humans and nature. Meanwhile, San, the titular character Princess Mononoke (meaning vengeful forest sp...
2020-07-251h 15Swords and SatireEpisode 45 - Can You Roleplay It? (CYRI), Clash of the TitansThis week on CYRI the Satirists decide to give the heroes of the movie a break and delve into a discussion about the villains of the Greek mythologies, pondering the ways that they could be playable characters. It’s not what you think either. The Satirists want to retell this story, painting the “villains” as misunderstood outcasts and the “heroes” as entitled douche canoes (thank you Miki), who go around killing the marginalized and those cursed by the gods just to make a name for themselves. Listen in to hear them banter about the love triangles and political intrigues of the Gre...
2020-07-1848 minSwords and SatireEpisode 44 - Clash of the Titans (1981)In their discussion about the 1981 film, Clash of the Titans, this week the Satirists tackle such weighty subjects as The Patriarchy, class struggle inherent to myth and religion, vengeance and revenge, and the sexual escapades of the gods. They identify Zeus as a problematic philanderer, Perseus as a privileged, trust fund kid, and recognize how Athena and Thetis are the only goddess with a backbone in this movie. Listen in to hear their take on a modern reboot of this story, in which the crew accidentally talks their way into another popular franchise.
2020-07-111h 17Swords and SatireEpisode 43 - Can You Roleplay It? (CYRI), LabyrinthThis week on the CYRI episode the Satirists break down how to create a campaign storyline and setting based on the movie Labyrinth, including what D&D classes Sarah and her friends might fit into. Listen in to hear their deep dive into the various types of traps you can utilize in your campaigns, and ponder along with the crew about what happens to the creatures of the Labyrinth whenever a hero isn’t inside!
2020-07-0451 minSwords and SatireEpisode 42 - LabyrinthThis week the Satirists break down the themes and lore of Labyrinth, the classic Jim Henson fantasy musical. They talk about dealing with loss through friendship and finding a purpose, about goblin kings and fairy seducers, and about Sarah’s quest to find herself. Listen in for a special bounty board this week, and to hear about Sarah’s fate in the sequel we never got.
2020-06-271h 20Swords and SatireEpisode 41 - Can You Roleplay It? (CYRI), StardustListen to the Satirists talk about the magical lore, artifacts, and beings from the Stardust world, and outline how you could incorporate these ideas into your roleplaying campaigns! In this first official all-access episode of CYRI, the crew brainstorms unique methods for utilizing environmental hazards, they define how curses can be divided up into different schools of magic, and they compare the Babylon candles to a more terrifying version of Star Trek teleporters. Check out Episode 19 of their original discussion of the movie to get caught up on the themes and lore, if you haven’t already listened to it...
2020-06-201h 03Swords and SatireEpisode 40 - Dawn of the DragonslayerThis week the Satirists discuss class struggles, female leadership, and strong mama dragons in their analysis of the understated fantasy film Dawn of the Dragonslayer. Listen in to hear us break down what is wrong with the power dynamics in Society, and to experience the magic of us creating a Swords & Satire multiverse reboot of this film.
2020-06-131h 17Swords and SatireCYRI, Special Episode, Imagining A Better World: The Sequel to Our StoryThis week we recorded a special episode of, Can You Roleplay It?, that we wanted to share with all of our listeners, not only our patrons, who support our show through Patreon. What we normally do for these patron exclusive episodes is frame the movies we watch and the characters within them through the context of roleplaying games. This week we wanted to use that same lens to imagine the world we could all be living in when the collective action of social movements and progressive political campaigns and laws bring about the change that creates a better, more...
2020-06-0735 minSwords and SatireEpisode 39 - The Last AirbenderThis week the Satirists discuss the merits of live action remakes of animated classics in their analysis of The Last Airbender, and question the sanity of those who would attempt it, even as they acknowledge that to every film there will be fans. They also highlight the importance of character autonomy in storytelling and diverse representation in media, and remind themselves and their listeners that we can never underestimate the kind of malignant stupidity that misunderstanding and unquestioned indoctrination can cause. Listen in to hear the Satirists talk about the importance of fantasy in our lives, and how it...
2020-06-061h 14Swords and SatireEpisode 38 - Beowulf and GrendelThis week the Satirists speculate on the intricacies of troll society and etiquette in their discussion of the Canadian-Icelandic epic film, Beowulf and Grendel. They ask all the important questions, like: what is the current state of troll-human relations?; how is Grendel like a force of nature?; and how can we each make friends with the primordial elements? Listen in to hear their hot takes on this cursed film, and perhaps you will find yourself believing as the Satirists do, that it is all a blessing in disguise.
2020-05-301h 11Swords and SatireEpisode 37 - Underworld: Rise of the LycansThe week in their discussion of the film, Underworld RotL, the Satirists cover several salient points, including inter-racial relationships, slavery and tyrrany, and the burrow speed of a werewolf. Listen in to hear their rewrite of this movie, in which Rosencrantz and Guildenstern make an appearance and give the audience a taste for what it’s like behind the scenes of the vampire court, like how the blood mines were started, the origin of the fire bombs, and getting to see how the death traps were made. There is also a special announcement this week, so tune in to he...
2020-05-231h 07Swords and SatireEpisode 36 - Mythica (1): A Quest for HeroesThis week the Satirists discuss Marek’s journey to become a hero, build her very own adventuring party, and master her abilities with the dark suck - that’s a technical term for the necromantic skill of sucking someone’s soul for energy. You can’t resist the dark suck, you must embrace your Goth side. The Satirists give Mythica - the first one - a pass for how much the crew was able to accomplish, when creating a film based on a Kickstarter budget. Listen in to hear their nerdy love of all things fantasy!
2020-05-161h 06Swords and SatireEpisode 35 - Hercules (Disney)This week the Satirists unpack the heavy messages of sacrifice and heroism with their usual wit, charm, and general silliness in their discussion of Disney’s animated movie, Hercules. Listen in the hear about their imaginal world of massive Disney crossovers, in which Hercules and Meg are called upon by Simba and Nala to put down a hyena uprising.
2020-05-091h 11Swords and SatireEpisode 34 - BraveThis week the Satirists unpack the familial themes peppered throughout the movie Brave, discussing the importance of belonging, community, and not being a complete ass. They also share their ideas for a sequel to this movie, Brave 2: Too Brave, Two Bears, in which we get to see the main character of the first film, Merida, come into her own as a leader with an epic bow, who can lead her people to victory against Viking raiders in a crossover sequel with How to Train Your Viking, err that is, How to Train Your Dragon.
2020-05-021h 07Swords and SatireEpisode 33 - LegionThe Satirists do their darndest to pick apart the muddled messages of the religious fantasy film Legion. They ask all the important questions like: Why are all the angels and religious figures White?; Why does the God of this movie hate humans so much?; And what is going to become of the sweet, innocent, country lad Jeep? (We all know who that is from the Christian stories, right? Yeah, of course - the violent protector of baby Jesus - Jeep.) The Satirists also make sure we will get to see adequate representation from the denizens of Hell in their...
2020-04-251h 07Swords and SatireEpisode 32 - John CarterThis week the Satirists jump through allegorical hoops as John Carter jumps his way across Barsoom (that’s Mars, folks) and burrows his way into our hearts. The real villains are the men who work behind the scenes, though, who may have a connection to the Illuminati? Listen in to hear their idea for a rewrite of this science fantasy mess, in which the Satirists cast Princess Dejah as the protagonist and imagine the adventures she would have and hijinks she would get into on Jarsoom (that’s Earth, try to keep up).
2020-04-181h 14Swords and SatireEpisode 31 - BrightThis week the Satirists tackle the clumsy messages in the movie Bright, and speculate how the racial, economic, and familial themes of this movie could be fixed to bring this film out of the ridiculous trash heap where it rests. But maybe they just have wand envy? Listen in to hear their reimagining of the story as a serial crime drama show, complete with hackers and a resistance movement!
2020-04-111h 07Swords and SatireEpisode 30 - Viking DestinyThe week the Satirists break down patriarchal ideas regarding gender and familial curses, and wonder what Loki’s true aims are in their discussion of the film, Viking Destiny! If you ever wonder to yourself, Just what is a mace made out of a decapitated head in a spiked cage? Then my friends, you have come to the right place. We also chime in with our ideas for what you can do during the self-quarantine, some are helpful and others ridiculous, but you will need to listen and decide.
2020-04-041h 06Swords and SatireEpisode 29 - Dragonheart (2): A New BeginningThis week the Satirists ponder the politics of colorful tunics and dragon farts as they discuss the beautiful train wreck that is Dragonheart: A New Beginning. Tune in to join them in their quest to imagine a better version of this movie, where love, friendship, and diplomacy win the day, but with actual stakes involved.
2020-03-281h 16Swords and SatireEpisode 28 - The Dark TowerThis week the Satirists describe the fabric of the multiverse and ponder whether Roland and Jake have what it takes to keep the demonic outsiders at bay in their discussion of the modern fantasy film, The Dark Tower. Listen in to hear their awesome ideas for a sequel, in which the forces for good and the forces for darkness create teams from across the King cinematic universe to go head to head in an epic battle for the fate of the multiverse!
2020-03-211h 03Swords and SatireEpisode 27 - Fire and IceThis week the Satirists spin a chilling tale of war and domination, but not without some fiery resistance, in their discussion of the 1983 film, Fire and Ice. Listen in to hear the fate of the three heroic friends, Larn, Tigra, and Dark Wolf, and to hear the Satirist's thrilling reboot in which the Ice Lord Necron learns the power of friendship and overthrows his evil mother.
2020-03-131h 07Swords and SatireEpisode 26 - The Scorpion KingThis week the Satirists are joined again by a special guest, Casey Cannon, who helps the team break down the colonization and misogynistic themes of The Scorpion King, and points out the accidental feminist messages at the end of the film. Tune in to hear the Satirists discuss their spin-off idea, in which the Sorcerer kicks some ass with the Nubian warrior women, while The Rock gets his hair braided back at home.
2020-03-071h 07Swords and SatireEpisode 25 - LadyhawkeThis week the Satirists breakdown the 80's fantasy classic, Ladyhawke, and their discussion wouldn't be complete without an exploration of class struggle, true love, and deals with the devil. Tune in to hear about their idea for a spin-off about a movie staring a rogue and a drunken preacher, who create a Home Alone booby-trap scenario!
2020-02-291h 13Swords and SatireEpisode 24 - DragonheartThis week the Satirists ponder inter-species friendships in their discussion of the fantasy classic, Dragonheart, and come to the conclusion that all good dragons should go to heaven. They also envision a time when Neo-Arthurian knights are all-inclusive in their membership, Knights of the Spherical Order unite!
2020-02-211h 00Swords and SatireEpisode 23 - Solomon KaneThis week the Satirists categorize the potential hierarchy of Hell and position Satan as the CEO of evil in their discussion of the medieval Christian fantasy film, Solomon Kane. They also ask only the most important questions; are mirrors portals to Hell?; are priests wizards?; and, would this movie be improved if it were a musical?
2020-02-151h 09Swords and SatireEpisode 22 - Time BanditsThis week the Satirists unpack a childhood classic, Time Bandits, and decide that Kevin might have a good idea after all in his rejection of wealth and embrace of adventure.
2020-02-081h 05Swords and SatireEpisode 21 - The 13th WarriorThis week the Satirists breakdown the classic conflict between Vikings and cavemen, a tale as old as time. They also speculate about the healing powers of love and marriage to turn these ancient foes into allies. Beheading a common enemy doesn't hurt either...
2020-02-011h 07Swords and SatireEpisode 20 - The Sorcerer's ApprenticeThis week the Satirists ponder the anxieties of bodily functions and the lust for power and control as they discuss the movie, The Sorcerer's Apprentice. They also swoon over the Cage charm and the unique melding of magic and science of this magical world.
2020-01-2500 minSwords and SatireEpisode 19 - How To Train Your DragonThis week the Satirists discuss the sweet, sweet dragon love in the film, How To Train Your Dragon. Listen in to hear a tale of social ostracization, dragon taming, and just loving who you want to love.
2020-01-1800 minSwords and SatireEpisode 18 - Masters of the UniverseThis week the Satirists ponder the deep and complicated love that exists between Skeletor and He-man in their discussion of the film Masters of the Universe! Also, listen in to hear their take on a timeline in which we have two epic team-ups, He-man and Aquaman, and Skeletor and the Joker. We have the power!
2020-01-111h 01Swords and SatireEpisode 17 - StardustJoin the Satirists this week as they discuss the shinanigans and misappropriated role of protagonist of the movie Stardust. Listen in as the Satirists talk about pirates that are more cultured than nobility, an ancient-young woman who is a literal star, and a petulant man-child that is the true villain of the film.
2020-01-041h 12Swords and SatireEpisode 16 - The Princess BrideThis week the Satirists thrust and parry their way through a discussion about The Princess Bride, a swashbuckling tale about the power of true love. Listen in to learn about the true face of pure evil, and what the power of love and friendship can accomplish.
2019-12-281h 10Swords and SatireYule Special - The Knight Before ChristmasThis is a special Yule holiday episode in which the Satirists discuss the perplexingly wholesome movie, The Knight Before Christmas. Listen in to hear about the banal antics of Sir Cole, the meaning of true love, and the Satirist's plans to extend this into a wholesome trilogy.
2019-12-251h 01Swords and SatireEpisode 15 - The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The WardrobeThis week the Satirists break down the class struggles of a realm out of myth and folklore in their discussion of the film The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Listen in to learn about how Edmond always gets the shaft, and the words of wisdom Aslan leaves for us all.
2019-12-211h 13Swords and SatireEpisode 14 - King Arthur: Legend of the SwordThis week the Satirists discuss the beauty of gritty, fantastical hiests and the riddle of Damascus steel that is the movie King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. The discussion goes a bit long this week as the Satirists pay homage to Guy Ritchie's classic jump cut motages that are peppered throughout the film, and speculate on what could have been if this movie were to successfully start a frnachise as was prophecized.
2019-12-141h 25Swords and SatireEpisode 13 - DragonslayerThis week the Satirists discuss the politics of ethical magic use and the logistics of gender concealment strategies after they watched the magical classic Dragonslayer. Listen in to hear about an egalitarian society born from rellebion that is totally down to deal with dragons.
2019-12-071h 11Swords and SatireEpisode 12 - WarcraftThis week the Satirists and their special guest discuss the benefits and pitfalls of Orcish colonization. Listen in as they ponder the merits of going green...with Fell magic, and what it would take to create the musical reboot, "World of Warcrimes," on ice.
2019-11-301h 19Swords and SatireEpisode 11 - Age of the DragonsThis week the Satirists ponder classic literature through the lens of cheesy fantasy in their discussion of the film Age of the Dragons. The Satirists ponder the many uses of dragon goo and explore a world without unnecessary romantic subplots.
2019-11-231h 10Swords and SatireEpisode 10 - LegendThis week the Satirists enter the fray in the war between light and Darkness in their discussion of the 1986 film Legend. The Satirists delve into the morality play allegory, the mythological land before time, and plan for the goblin revolution.
2019-11-161h 11Swords and SatireEpisode 9 - Dungeons and DragonsThis week the Satirists roll for initiative and elve into the frothy mess that is Dungeons & Dragons. Listen in as the Satirists discuss fantasy identity politics and sociopolitical agendas, and as they ponder the meaning of a magical world controlled by dragons.
2019-11-091h 08Swords and SatireEpisode 8 - Beastmaster (1982)This week the Satirists get wild with Beastmaster, and ask the question, what's with all the butt cleavage? Listen in as the gang shares the horror of the death hug, and speculates about the way of the shaft.
2019-11-0255 minSwords and SatireEpisode 7 - The Brothers GrimmThis week the Satirists pick over the dead carcase that is the movie, The Brothers Grimm, and wonder if magic beans are real. Listen as the Satirists discuss adaptational atractiveness, artist communes, and werewolf daddies.
2019-10-261h 06Swords and SatireEpisode 6 - Season of the WitchThis week the Satirists enter the Cage-ception with the surprisingly adequate film "Season of the Witch" with co-stars Nicholas Cage and Ron Perlman. Join the Satirists as they discuss the merits of anachronistic character knowledge, and imagine a better world where knights can fall in love and monster hunters might choose to befriend the monsters.
2019-10-191h 09Swords and SatireEpisode 5 - Knight of the DeadIn this episode the Satirists wax philosophical about plague zombies, and ask the eternal question, could this movie be improved with cultists? Join the discussion this week to learn about the secret werewolf agenda and stealthy zombie hordes.
2019-10-1255 minSwords and SatireEpisode 4 - Army of DarknessPrepared to be scared, because this week the Satirists begin their first annual SCARES & Satire series for the spooky month of October! Join us as we discuss the cult classic, Army of Darkness! We revel in Bruce Campbell's mighty chin, and wonder what a screwhead could possibly be.
2019-10-051h 01Swords and SatireEpisode 3 - The Legend of Hercules (3D)This week the Satirists ponder the chadness of ancient Greece and imagine a movie that is better than the one they watched.
2019-09-2858 minSwords and SatireEpisode 2 - WillowThe Satirists discuss one of their favorite fantasy movies, and speculate about the future of a baby robot princess revolution.
2019-09-211h 12Swords and SatireEpisode 1 - Conan the BarbarianThe Satirists start off their epic journey with one of the most epic movies of all-time: Conan the Barbarian! (the good one) Listen in to get to know the Satirists and level up your podcasting game!
2019-09-151h 11