Shows
Long may she reignCaroline Schermerhorn AstorVery recently, I’ve become obsessed with the HBO TV show the Gilded Age and it has led me to a new appreciation for this time. And what a better way to explore it, then to talk about the queen bee of the Gilded Age Caroline Astor. Caroline set the standard for gilded age New York society and she had to be petty to keep society the way she thought it ought to run. Join me on my season, premiere and learn about the fascinating life of Caroline Astor. Bibliography
Block, Elizabeth. “Mrs. Caroline Astor Was the Ultimate New York Soci...2024-01-3037 min
As The Money BurnsTies That BindHoping that a change in political power will end the ongoing Great Depression, one heir vows his continuing and undying support to a presidential nominee.A lifelong friendship develops between a young heir and his neighbor, a distant relative and a future president. Through personal tragedies and triumphs, Vincent Astor and Franklin Delano Roosevelt support each other to establish common goals to help the poor as well as have fun and playfulness. Other people and subjects include: John Jacob Astor VI aka “Jakey,” Princess Ava Alice Muriel Astor Obolensky, Helen Dinsmore Astor, Caroline Astor, John Jacob...2023-08-0626 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 48 - Obligatory Sports and Rich Guy Report (4/27/22)Hola everyone in and from the Real Human Bings zone! We love that you are still zoning with us.
Here's another Frankensteined episode with some random bits we talked about. Specifically, how we'd fix playoff sports and a rant about rich people and corpos hating on the workers of the world. Yeah, that's right, we're true Marxists now guys. (And don't worry, we go down the same conversation rabbit holes we always do about D&D, Star Wars, and our own egos.)
Lastly, Picks of the Week. That is all.
...2023-03-091h 19Real Human BingsEpisode 47.5 - BillBurr Baggins and the Stuck up Canadians (3/15/2022)What ho fine travelers! Let the RHBer's bend your ear a while and regale you with random ramblings cut from a full episode!
This time, Mr. Murdock commits foul crimes in Buffalo, the new Twilight Zone is mentioned in the briefest of cameos, and the boys realize that Bill Burr's name said quickly sounds like Bilbo the hobbit. Last, a shallow dive into Jordan "Baby back ribs" Peterson (I assume that's what the B stands for) and his podcast with Canadian guy Rex Murphy. That's about it my dudes.
Endnotes:
I love the idea...2022-09-2222 minReal Human BingsEpisode 47 - The Man who is a Bat (3/15/2022)Whoa, look out! The Vampire Vigilante is out! (Get it? Cuz Bobby Pattinson was also in Twilight?)
It's a whole new Batman movie, called "The Batman" this time so don't get confused. It's like that whole thing with "The Suicide Squad" right? A conversations months long in the making between the Bings is included because it's so epic! Or is that tepid? The Bings can't decide.
Also our favorite segment that's totally not plagiarized, Picks of the Week! Check it out or the Man who is a Bat might visit you. (Wow, how's that for...2022-09-151h 15Real Human BingsEpisode 46 - Palindromic (2/21/22)Yo dawg, this edit's loose and light today so get on in there!
The Bings do their annual tradition of reading each other's fortunes by the Chinese calendar from a random internet site. Will Jacob ever get a good romance year? Will Aulden regret his decision to buy a house?
On deck is a cruise through the AARP's Movies for Grownups awards. (Who knew that was a thing?) Last but not least, Picks of the Week!
Endnotes:
China Highlights Zodiac page - https://www.chinahighlights.com/travelguide/chinese-zodiac/
You can also...2022-09-091h 29
NextStepCCI Quit-Abrham Cho - AudioHey family,
People are leaving the church and deconstructing their Christian faith in alarming numbers. Many would say they are disillusioned with God because of the hypocrisy of Christians. There has never been a more important time to ask what a truly life-changing encounter with God looks like. This Sunday we will be looking at the story of Jacob wrestling with God, to see what it has to teach on this very urgent question.
Service begins at 10 a.m. at 360 Schermerhorn St.
We look forward to seeing you there! --Edwin2022-08-0730 min
NextStepCCI Quit-Abrham Cho - AudioHey family,
People are leaving the church and deconstructing their Christian faith in alarming numbers. Many would say they are disillusioned with God because of the hypocrisy of Christians. There has never been a more important time to ask what a truly life-changing encounter with God looks like. This Sunday we will be looking at the story of Jacob wrestling with God, to see what it has to teach on this very urgent question.
Service begins at 10 a.m. at 360 Schermerhorn St.
We look forward to seeing you there! --Edwin2022-08-0730 minReal Human BingsEpisode 45 - Wheely Feelies (12/11/21)The wheel winds and the wheel winds some more and then I guess it keeps going?
Our impression of the first episode of "Wheel of Time"? It's pretty circular if you ask me. An expert (Aulden) and a novice (Jacob) for one of the most popular fantasy series of all time took a look and have some thoughts. Are they interesting thoughts? Eh.
Also, we finish our long running "I'm Walken Here" series with some weird and wacky and Lynchian surreal horrorish advertisements on the subway. And last but not least, Picks of the Week...2022-07-291h 20Real Human BingsEpisode 44 - Oops all dune (11/13/21)Wowie this was a long one to finish. It was bit cursed with a lot of work having to get done on it, almost like Denis didn't want our lukewarm takes about this movie to be out there! (*Gasp*)
Yes we are indeed speaking about the 2021 Oscar nominated film "Dune" with a special guest, Marc Schermerhorn! We touch on our histories with Dune the property, our Good, Bad and Uglies, and look at rule 34 of the navigators! Last but not least, picks of the week!
Endnotes:
- JPEG Mafia - https://shop.jpegmafia.net/?2022-07-201h 21
Real Human BingsEpisode 43 - Four Balls is a "I'm Walken Here!" (10/1/21)Hey! I'm Walken here! Jacob is in a Real Human Field Trip at the Big Apple and he went to three baseball games in that time - the Yankees, the Mets, and the minor league team, the Brooklyn Cyclones! Which one was the definitive best that you should attend if you can only do one? Don't worry, he made a rubric and is going to walk through it with you, and his best buddy Aulden!After that, a new segment called, Into the Vault, where there's a previously unreleased bonus the Bings forgot about... Get a glimpse...2021-11-271h 35Real Human BingsEpisode 42 - Hudson Valley GlacierBoyz (5/23/21)What's up Glibglobs? It's "Where in the World is Jacob?" time for Aulden as he's calling from a hot steamy car in an undisclosed location. Will Aulden be able to figure out the clues and dox his friend?Also these boys talk about the boyz, those of a Glacier variety. Yes, it's the Fan Controlled Football League, a twitch based experiment attempting to create a new way of watching football. Did it work? Eh. Lastly, Picks of the Week!Endnotes:Who knows if this will be functioning by the time the ep hits... But...2021-09-011h 18
Real Human BingsGame Over Man! - Loop Hero...where we came in? Are we stuck in a loop? Uh oh, sounds like a crazy situation for a Game Over Man!The game we are overing today? Devolver Digital's newest indie type idle roguelike other adjectives, Loop Hero. You play in the ruins of a destroyed world, trying to resurrect your own memories. (Dark Souls what?) However, the only way you can help your hero as he loops endlessly through the world is by placing monster tiles to buff him up more and more. It's a weird mechanic that we thought was worth an episode!2021-05-2521 minReal Human BingsEpisode 41 - The People v. Zach Synder's Justice League (3/26/21)It's finally come. An epic showdown for the ages with Bing fighting against Bing. (I guess this framing would work better for "Batman v. Superman" but when you start with a courtroom framework, you commit at some point)That's right, fear no longer because RHB is here to give their two cents on everyone's favorite dark and brooding film de jour, "Zach Synder's Justice League"! Joined with RHB Stephen Smart, who, along with us, predicted in 2017 this would never happen. Well, we're at least good to our word that we would watch it when if it ever...2021-04-171h 35Real Human BingsEpisode 40.5 - Why Can't they all be Animal Names? (1.23.21)Today, Aulden asks the question we've all been thinking. Really, why can't all sports teams just have animal names?A look at Cleveland's options for new baseball team names, the many crimes of Ryan Seacrest finally put on trial, a non-endorsement of fashion choices from RHB is what you have to look forward to in this BONUS episode! Hit the theme!Endnotes:This year was truly a strange one. - https://abc.com/shows/new-years-rockin-eveReading the comments from pro-keep-the-name-Indian fans was... Eyeopening... - https://www.cleveland.com/tribe/2020/12/survey-shows-cleveland-indians-name-change-has-altered-baseball-discourse-among-readers.html...2021-02-2726 minReal Human BingsEpisode 40 - Happy Niu Year! (1/23/21)Happy Year of the Ox! May all your dreams be moderately to fully fulfilled this 2021!Returning to a sometimes tradition of taking a look at Chinese Zodiac, RHB sees what's in store for their future of 2021 and Season 5. Does good or bad luck await our heroic bingers? Will it be better than 2020 at least?Next, a Real Human Bing Search on a classic detective character from the 1930s, Charlie Chan. Aulden and Jacob talk about finding value in questionable content, historical context, and old movie tendencies. Lastly we have our cool Picks of the Week!2021-02-201h 50Real Human BingsEpisode 39 - Chew on these Acceptable Conspiraries (10/23/20)Tin Foil hat time! What's the weirdest but most acceptable thing you think is a conspiracy??Attempting to recapture some of the topic magic from a lost episode (where we discussed Zack Synder and Justice League too), we dive into our favorite conspiracy theories that are also probably not that harmful.Also, we highlight a horrible comic strip from the 1980s in a new, so far untitled segment looking at the Chinese martial artist hero Shang Chi. It's pretty crazy what comics get away with sometimes... Lastly, we have our favorite segment of this episode...2020-11-251h 19
Real Human BingsGame Over Man! - HadesIt heats up this time for Game Over Man! as the guys take on Supergiant's newest delightfully fun rougelike, Hades.The prince of Hades is trying to escape the very bowels of hell as his dad (and final boss man) disapprovingly looks on. Live, die, repeat in this experience where each playthrough is different with a wide variety of weapon and power combinations. Spoiler, we thought it was pretty darn good.Endnotes:Polygon has the best take here and reminded me we didn't talk about Cerberus as much as he deserves - https://www...2020-10-3120 minReal Human BingsEpisode 38.5 - Bing by Design: Apocalypse (7/5/20)You know it's coming, I know it's coming, the Apocalypse! Time to get your duds ready!Today, Aulden and Jacob find their essential apocalypse, scavenger, Mad Maxian selves through the most sophisticated process in the known universe: Bing Searches. Specifically the formula "Name + Apocalypse + Gear" (Try it yourself at home!)Who would win in a fight? And more importantly, who is more fashion? Listen to find out...Endnotes:Check the IG if you want da pics of da outfits 2020-09-1611 min
The Decameron 2020PJ Go! (Memory of China)"Number one travel tip? Go to sports stadiums and cheer even if you don't know the words."
Writer/Reader - Jacob Schermerhorn
Music - Fubon Guardians
The Decameron describes that when a plague hit in the 14th-century, people sheltered together and told stories to pass the time. The Decameron 2020 is a collaborative project between artists, writers, musicians, actors, and creators of all kind to similarly pass the time during our own quarantine era.
2020-09-0406 minReal Human BingsEpisode 38 - The Duo's and Dont's of Free Internet Stuff (7/5/20)This your daily reminder from Duo the owl to listen to Real Human Bings!Why does free services on the internet often breed such vitriol? Can't we all be civil? Can you believe that some place as innocent as the language learning app Duolingo has a dark side to the comments section? Get ready for Aulden and Jacob to discuss what makes people entitled on the internet.Also, we pitch some movies in one of our favorite segments, "Pitch it or Ditch it!" (Keywords: Avatar prequel and Rami Malek rom-com) Lastly, our favorite favorite segment, "...2020-08-261h 08
Real Human BingsFeed Drop - "Decameron 2020 - DJ Rooster (公鸡)"It’s a feed drop! An episode from a friendly fellow podcast that we think you might just like! :)Today, we drop an episode of “Decameron 2020,” a podcast dedicated to telling interesting stories in our era of quarantine just like the 14 century one!This particular story features one half of the RHB crew. Listen as he regales you with a strange but real encounter while living in China. Subjects broached, taxis, dance music and roosters.Endnotes:If you like this episode, check out more here - https://anchor.fm/prencipe--- Send i...2020-07-0712 min
The Decameron 2020DJ Rooster (公鸡) (Memory of China)"For the five people who understand this reference, I hope I didn't come off sounding like Jim Williams..."
Writer/Reader - Jacob Schermerhorn
Music - Aulden MacQueen - "Divided Mind", 郎中 (Doctor) - "卷珠帘 (Rolling Bead Curtain) remix"
The Decameron describes that when a plague hit in the 14th-century, people sheltered together and told stories to pass the time. The Decameron 2020 is a collaborative project between artists, writers, musicians, actors, and creators of all kind to similarly pass the time during our...2020-07-0712 minReal Human BingsEpisode 37.5 - The Mankey Scopes Trial (5/24/20)Come spend a while with your good RHB buddies Aulden and Jacob for this bonus episode about evolution. Pokemon Evolution!Wait dont’ go! If you’re not into that, we compare Pokemon to “Inherit the Wind” and posit a reason for the immortal existence of Jessie, James and Meowth. It’s also a time for our newest spinoff segment, Movies of Our Lives! Bruce Willis and Patrick Swayze reign as kings of our birthday movies, forever and always.Endnotes:I really like the movie version of “Inherit the Wind.” It’s a great old timey one. - www...2020-06-0621 minReal Human BingsEpisode 37 - Mad For Ads (5/24/20)Do you ever feel like you have a target on your back? A target for ads? Well we certainly do and we talk about it on this episode of our fun time podcast!Starting off with Real Human Bing Search on targeted ads, we share the strangest ads we’ve ever been shown. Praise the Algorithm!Next, we delve into the early 2000s music scene and pull out some surprisingly good hits with Playlist of Our Lives (2001-2004). And last but not least, our Picks of the Week.Endnotes:So Zeynep Tufekci tu...2020-05-261h 13Real Human BingsGame Over Man! - Mount & Blade II - BannerlordMount up fellows! It’s time to ride to the second battle, using our blades! It’s a medieval romp this time on Game Over Man!A game that Aulden has waited nearly a decade for has finally arrived. You are a lord plopped down in “Not-Europe” where you can fight in battles, form alliances, build castles, sell goods, and anything else you could imagine! What did we think of it? Go ahead and give it a listen!Endnotes:You can also make Pikachu your banner so that’s pretty cool - https://www.pcgamer.co...2020-05-1318 minReal Human BingsGame Over Man! - XCOM Chimera SquadCombining the speed of an serpent, the toughness of a goat, and the courage of a lion, we Real Human Bings have emerged stronger than ever with this new strategy game!XCOM Chimera Squad is a surprise sequel to the XCOM franchise which amps up the action, cuts down the tediousness, and characterizes your heretofore faceless soldiers. What did RHB Jacob think of this game? Well you just have listen now don’t you?Endnotes:Sid Meier gives his thoughts - https://www.polygon.com/2020/4/28/21238666/xcom-chimera-squad-sid-meier-prototypeMore City 31 Commercials - https://www.youtube.co...2020-05-1329 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 36 - A PG Rated Episode (3/22/20)PG stands for Prince George, the subject of this episode, and Parental Guidance, which you need to listen to this episode. Did you get your permission slip signed young man? Yes, it’s a Field Trip for Jacob up to visit fellow RHBs Aulden, Julie, and the nearly silent co-host Tilda! During the time, the world shut down due to Covid19, so all they had to do for days on end was talk to each other. Impressions of Prince George aren’t the only thing you’ll get to hear. We also have our newest segmen...2020-04-301h 13
Real Human BingsThe Bingchlor - S24 - BonusIt’s time for everyone’s favorite part of any series, the Bonus stuff! Not necessary to follow the main plot, but fun if you like the show, those are my favorite parts anyway. Get ready for 30 odd minutes of random bits that didn’t exactly fit in with the rest of the episodes including but not limited to: Instagram telling us who our S24 Bachelor counterparts are, an introduction to the new Bachelorette, and new book recommendations. Won’t you please accept this final rose and go once more into the breach with us? Kk, thanks! E...2020-04-2728 min
Real Human BingsThe Bingchlor - S24, E11-12 - Finally Finale TimeIt’s finally finale time and not a moment too soon! The only thing worse that Covid-19 is realizing you wasted two months of your life on a meaningless show!Ready for the most pointless finale ever? One where the lead gaslights a girl into accepting a proposal, then flip flops to a different girl his mother has a bloodfeud with, THEN he breaks up with that second girl after three days?? Me neither, but that’s the season we got! More so than that, Peter’s journey is finally at an end! Or at least we can stop c...2020-04-2450 min
Real Human BingsThe Bingchlor - S24, E9-10 - Women Tell All WhirlwindIt's fantasy suite time! And one of the remaining women really can't handle it. Does she leave? Listen to find out! In the beautiful country Down Under, Peter makes his decision about the final three women after the oh so fun fantasy suite. Having to chose between three petite dark haired beauties sure is tough! Also, the women of S24 spill all the tea all over everyone’s laps and it was hot tea so we all have burned groins now. Not really, but the metaphor is an accurate representation of my emotions now. Thanks Bachelor S24! 2020-04-171h 07
Real Human BingsThe Bingchlor - S24, E7-8 - Pete Wants CrazyIs this Bachelor season the Darkest Timeline? Or can any show this stupid really be considered “dark” if it’s only exposing the shallowness underneath? For observations like this and more, check out this episode the the Bingchlor! Melanie and Jacob break down the pre-hometown and hometown dates and try to figure out where it all went wrong. Other questions like: Why does Peter like crazy? How does it feel to stomp grapes in winter? Who would be a good bachelorette? Is Peter good at basketball? (Answer to that last one is no.) It’s pretty good stuff. 2020-03-071h 03
Real Human BingsThe Bingchlor - S24, E5-6 - Cougars and GILFSDouble Barrel Blast of Bachelor episode recaps and reactions headed your way this episode of the Bingchlor! Melanie and Jacob break down episodes 5 and 6 that featured plenty of drama, lots of crying, even more yelling, and we’re not even talking about the TV show yet! And what is a GILF anyway? (Don’t google it) Endnotes:Get everything you’ve ever needed to know about telenovelas here - https://www.funnyordie.com/telenovelas-are-hell--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message2020-03-0259 min
Real Human BingsThe Bingchlor - S24, E2-4 - Fun Times in ClevelandNew episode of the Bingchlor and this one is jam packed tighter than a Browns backfield! Does that football metaphor make sense? Probably not! But the important thing is that episode 4 takes place in the “Mistake by the Lake” Cleveland! Also champagne stealing, country star ex boyfriends, and a grandmother with a teddy bear! Endnotes:Cleveland is great but only fellow rustbelters can make fun of it - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysmLA5TqbIY--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message2020-02-241h 01
Real Human BingsGame Over Man! - Crusader Kings 2“Game Over Man!” gets a medieval makeover this time with Crusader Kings 2. This Paradox Interactive classic is a deeply intricate strategy game where you sound like a sociopath when describing gameplay. The Bings talk about their experiences, RPGing with no external input, and what defines “winning” with no clear goal. Endnotes:CKIII baby! (It says coming 2020 and no more date info… uh oh) - https://www.crusaderkings.com/Jacob mostly agrees with this guy about RPGing - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNUlw_KG6BA--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm...2020-02-0727 min
Real Human BingsThe Bingchlor - S24, E1 - Cats and RatsHey fellow Rosebuds! Are you ready for some hot Bachelor action? Cuz we are! Real Human Bing Melanie and Jacob are finding the answers to this year’s Bachelor, Peter, in the only way they know how… Poorly! After night one, who are the sure bets and the sure messes? Who is a Cat and who is a Rat? And who came up with that awesome phrase? Listen to find out! Endnotes:Cats and Rats CAN get along people! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2spkG_wm8o--- Send in a vo...2020-01-311h 07
Real Human BingsEpisode 35.5 - Jurassic Bite (12/7/19)Welcome to… (Dramatic pause) Jurassic Bite! May I take your order? Try our new special Premium Rex Burger for the max amount of dino taste! Hey, we’re going on Shark Tank next month so no one steal this idea okay? Aside from our dinosaur fast food restaurant we also talk about the ethics of stealing random things, “Dark”, season 3 of “Stranger Things”, Benoif and Weiss, and some cool Shakespearean movies. Check it out! Endnotes:TLDR: Dinos taste like birds apparently. Huh. Neat. - https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ypx4x5/this-is-what-dinosaur-meat-tasted-like--- Send i...2020-01-2721 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 35 - We Become [REDACTED] #1 Enemies (12/7/19)Welcome all to season 4. Glad you could make it! In this episode, we catch you up with all the cool things that we’ve been up to since last episode. Aulden’s a teacher! Jacob’s a moocher! But they’re both still Real Human Bings! We also spill the beans on our former employer [REDACTED] and our honest feedback on the experience. Wanna know the name of the company? You’ll just have to listen to find out… Last but not least, our Picks of the Week! End Notes:Just going to leave that there fo...2020-01-201h 17
Real Human BingsEpisode 34 - These are a Few of my Favorite Bings (6/25/19)When the dog bites! When the bee stings! When I’m feeling sad! I simply remember my favorite Bings and then I don’t feel so bad! (I never noticed until now that she rhymed sad with bad. Seems lazy somehow…)Anyway, this is our last episode recorded in China at a Canadian school. We reminisce about what we did and what we’ve learned and then pass the mic to the real coolest cats, our guests. Last but not least, Picks of the Week!Endnotes:Dog Bless - https://www.youtube.com/chan...2020-01-031h 14
Real Human BingsEpisode 33.5 - Mr. Sandman, Bing me a Dream (6/12/19)What is the best way to sleep? What is the worst way to sleep? The answer might or might not surprise you! (I don’t know man, it’s some bonus stuff that didn’t make the cut into the full episode. What else do you want??) Just kidding! I could never be angry at you! I just haven’t been getting a restful night’s sleep. Say, maybe this episode will help! In this bonus, you’ll learn from the experts what is the optimal way to sleep. And Aulden and Jacob do their bits in it too! ...2019-07-2914 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 33 - The Nice and Accurate Podcast of Auldous Nutter (6/12/19)Today you will be visited by a Demonic presence and an Angelic presence in the form of the Real Human Bings! But which one is which? Which leads you to a path of damnation and ruin and the other to eternal salvation? Which should you listen to? We’ll never tell… This episode we break down the adapted TV series, “Good Omens” (2019). Based on the awesome book by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, we discuss their legacies and books as well as the new series and its successes and pitfalls. After that, we have a Real Hum...2019-07-231h 18
Real Human BingsEpisode 32 - Gotta Bing Em All! (5/15/19)Who are those pokemon?? They’re Auldenchar and Jacobluk! What are they talking about? I don’t know, probably something that’s a few months too late to be pop culturally relevant! (But maybe that’s good because now we have the benefit of reflecting on those first impressions. Or maybe that’s just a justification of always being late with these things. Alright, pull up, get back to the episode description man!) This episode, we discuss our experiences with the phenomenon of Pokemon as well as the newest live action Pokemon movie, “Detective Pikachu” (2019). Next, we do a...2019-07-151h 27
Real Human BingsEpisode 31.5 - It's a Bird, It's a Plane, No! It's D&D! (4/28/19)Whoa! Another bonus episode! Awesome! We’re basically like a superhero, there to save you when you need them most! This is a collection of our bits and bites from the D&D section of our talk, with some other random things thrown in because we love you! Keywords: D&D, Zizek, Spock and Y2K, real smart big boys Peterson and Shapiro, Marvel Heroes. End Notes:Zizek eating hot dogs - https://twitter.com/nickusen/status/1118253255195275265?lang=en--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message2019-06-1418 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 31 - Fantasy Fantasy Draft (4/28/19)Oh man! They took Namfoodel? That totally messes up my draft board! Where does Latimer Estman fall now? Or Tormund Bloodreign? Or Rikard Sanchi?? (D&D inside jokes lolololol, totally the way to invite new fans in…) Yes that’s right, today is a double dose of nerd with Playlist of Our Lives Part 4 (1998-2000) and a new segment called the Fantasy Fantasy Draft, which is all about D&D and RPGs. It’s a rollicking good time followed only by the best time of every week, the Picks of the Week. Check it out! End no...2019-05-271h 32
Real Human BingsEpisode 30.5 - The Most Dramatic Bonus Ever (4/12/19)Gabbin’ and giggling like gals on this here bonus episode. I can safely call it the most dramatic one ever. Smart people will be brought up, embarrassments will be revealed, birds will be judged and Big Brother is always watching. What does that mean? Listen to find out! (Or just look at the end notes…) End Notes:You can literally watch everything! On one level I’m horrified, on the other, I’m fascinated at how they actually make a show out of it… - https://www.cbs.com/shows/big_brother/live_feed/ Steve Mose...2019-05-2111 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 30 - The Bingclor (4/12/19)On the most dramatic episode of Real Human Bings yet! Colton’s shall be discussed, tripping and falling will be laughed at, and working moms will finally get a comedy they deserve! Accept this rose and listen along won’t you? Joined by “The Bachelor” experts, first-time-long-time RHB Dimarya Funk and friend of the pod Melanie Peck, they try to explain to Jacob just what captivates them about this famous reality TV show. (Not that he needed much pushing to begin with, he was hooked within the first episode…) They break down the most dramatic season ever as well as...2019-05-081h 45
Real Human BingsEpisode 29 - Like a Bing Pizza Pie (3/2/19)When the moon hits your eye, like a Bing Pizza Pie, that’s amore! We are joined this time by another lovely Real Human Bing, Kelsey, to talk about that oh so delicious treat, Pizza! After getting to know our guest with some Real Human Bing Questions, we dive into that pool of goodness comfort food known as pizza. Our Real Human Bing Search brings up topics like: What’s the origin of pizza? When did it come to North America? What’s the best kind of pizza? Is NYC water great? What’s the pronunciation of the name...2019-04-031h 58
Real Human BingsEpisode 28 - It's High Dunoon (2/3/19)Rule Bingtania, Bingtania rules the radio waves! We went to Jolly old UK, with Jolly old Julie! Two Bings unleased in the most United Kingdom! (errr… about that…) When we weren’t running away from mass mobs of Brexiter’s angry about foreigners in their country, we were enjoying a wonderful holiday in a wonderful location. Listen as we regale about our traveling in some pretty cool spots. Also, we delve into myth and reality with a special Scottish themed Real Human Bing Search! Are kilts, shortbread, tartan really that Scottish? You’ll have to listen to find out...2019-03-201h 40
Real Human BingsToo Smart For You - 1/25/2019 (Bing shutdown, Zuckerberg, Chinese Politics, Daddy Xi)Once again, we smart up the joint for Too Smart For You, the podcast segment guaranteed to make dummies scratch their heads and smart people nod their heads in pretentious agreement. This time, the smart Stephen Smart and the two (handsome) RHB hosts discuss the short but mysterious shutdown of Bing.com in China, Mark Zuckerberg being equal parts weird and spineless to China, a primer of Chinese political structure, and President Xi Jingping, a true daddy whether or not he knows it. End notes:Bing went down, down, down to the bottom of...2019-02-2338 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 27 - Sit Down, Be Bumble (1/22/19)Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, this movie has us shaking on our knees!/”Flight of the Bumblebee”? more like “Plight of the Michael Bay”!/This is a B-movie that earned and A! (I couldn’t think of anything, so take your pick between these three.) Today, we tackle the new movie “Bumblebee” (2018) which was like… Actually okay? I mean, “Fantastic Beasts 2” I would say we soured on, but this movie I don’t think was that bad. We talk about movie tastes and trends in China as well as the Transformers reboot itself. (Or should I say, re-bot...2019-02-071h 09
Real Human BingsEpisode 26.5 - The Myers-Bings Test (1/4/19)BONUS POD! What’s your opinion on the Myers-Brigs test? Does it reveal hidden depths to your personality? Or is it a bunch of bogus invented by two non-trained bored writers? (Warning: the writer of this episode title is biased) Along with RHB, Melanie Peck, we took the famed 16 personalities test and looked into how it applied to us. We also argue over the validity of the test as well as personality tests in general. Take it yourself! Tell us what you think! Regardless of what the results are, you’re all still human bings to us! 2019-01-2928 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 26 - Jingle Bings, Jingle Bings (1/4/19)The happiest of New Year’s greetings to you gentle audience! An episode about holidays is in store for you upon this hour! This time, we are joined by REAL HUMAN BING Melanie Peck to break down an important subject that’s only a bit late… Christmas! What’s it like to celebrate it in China? What are the traditions we have created? Does Santa Claus exist? Not only that, but we break down all the bad Netflix Christmas movies for you. Are any of them classics you must watch every year? (Spoiler, no.) Next, we check...2019-01-161h 43
Real Human BingsThe Snob Hour - Hamlet (11/16/18)The Snob Hour! For snobby people who think commoners are gross and icky, but won’t say it out loud because they’re too polite! Just what you’ve all been waiting for! This time, listen to a solo Jacob episode all about his favorite Shakespeare play, “Hamlet.” How was Benedict Cumberbatch? Why were there so many Chinese people in the audience? Was it any good? All these questions and more are within! End Notes:Full Cumberbatch interview (To be fair, I didn’t watch this entire one, so maybe he says more interesting things in it...2019-01-0523 min
Real Human BingsThe Snob Hour - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night (11/16/18)The Snob Hour! For snobby people who think commoners are gross and icky, but won’t say it out loud because they’re too polite! Just what you’ve all been waiting for! This time, listen to a solo Jacob episode where he extols his thoughts on the book adapted into a play, “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime.” Topics like the autism spectrum, dance choreography, acting chops, multimedia presentations, and more! End Notes:Working on the Spectrum (Nice behind the scenes dealio) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2bV75ITXJw2019-01-0516 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 25 - Fantastic Bings and Where to Find Them (11/16/18)Beasts? Where can you find them, you might ask? Why, here of course! Upon this fortnight, two brave companions did stride into the cinematic complex, to witness the latest theatrical release of Harry Potter’s Wizarding World. “Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them: The Crimes of Grindewald”.Also, we find out who the real Fan of Bingbing is. Cause guess what, it ain’t the Chinese government! (If you don’t understand, don’t worry, because we don’t either). With a bonus appearance of Ai Weiwei. Last but not least, we look at stuff we like...2018-12-111h 29
Real Human BingsEpisode 24.5 - BONUS POD! Les Bingerables (10/5/18)Now THIS is how you make a musical! Eat your heart out Andrew Lloyd Webber! Keywords: Improv, bad, pizza, musical, Les Miserables, singing by amateurs, we will be kicked out of our apartment soon. (I know Andrew Lloyd Webber didn’t write anything for Les Mis, he’s just an easy figure that represents Broadway, don’t @ me!) End Notes:Buy tix! (Stage Les Mis is fine I guess) - https://www.lesmis.com/Don’t by tix! (How did Tom Hooper make so many bad choices?) - https://www.amazon.com/Miserables-Hugh-Jackman/dp/B00BI...2018-10-2009 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 24 - The Need For Slow (9/15/18)What is up Bingers? We're back for Season/Year 3 of "Two White Guys in China!" The Podcast! We missed you 2018-10-131h 09
Real Human BingsEpisode 23.5 - BONUS POD: What Does Aulden Do With The Mad That He Feels? (6/26/18)BONUS POD! Hi all you Real Human Bings! Won't you be my neighbor? In this bonus episode of Real Human Bings, we talk about a very human emotion, and a very Bing emotion, anger. With other Real Human Bing, Melanie Peck, we discuss emotions and how to deal with them. Additionally, we delve into differences in educational systems between North America and China. Which group is more spoiled? We have our own opinions, but let us know what you think! Endnotes: If you're interested in a book about Chinese society and its...2018-07-2021 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 23 - The Incredible Interview with a Ghost (6/26/18)Friends, do you believe in the supernatural? You just may after this podcast episode because we have made contact with the other side! We have connected with a ghost and are here to share our interview with her! No wait, that's a regular person... She's just a normal person! A very white person, but a normal(ish) person none the less. Everybody, it's REAL HUMAN BING Melanie Peck! She shares with us her impressions of China, what she would do if aliens made contact with the earth, some old crush stories, and more! (Also, a guest appearance...2018-07-071h 31
Real Human BingsEpisode 22 - I Like Bing Butts and I Cannot Lie (6/1/18)Bing. Butt. What more do you need to know? Let's goooooooo! There's an extra long, extra musical episode of RHB for you today ladies and gents. This one features a new segment, PLAYLIST OF YOUR LIFE! Have you ever wondered what would happen if you took the number one song on the date of your birthday and put it together as a playlist? Of course you haven't! But we did! Come listen to the top music from 1990 to 1993 in this maiden voyage! Also on the pod, BING SEARCH! This time of famous (?) nerd and creator...2018-06-131h 56
Real Human BingsEpisode 21 - Soggy Toast II, Dry Toast (5/3/18)Welcome back Julie! A true RHB guest star found her way back to China and decided to grace us with her presence! Yep that's right, Julie (from Episode 4) is back! What has she been up to? We talk about it! Scotland, tree planting, and niche alcoholic beverages are all part of that particular story... Additionally, we have a section of improv-ed music by resident Beethoven Aulden MacQueen. And of course, our favorite part of this week and every week, our Picks of the Week! Endnotes: The Buckie made me do it...2018-05-261h 31
Real Human BingsGame Over Man! - Slay the SpireThis time on "Game Over Man!" Aulden got to a-Spire to greater heights!Slay the Spire is a deck building, roguelike, JRPG-fight-style, mysterious, fantasy game for people all over the world. It's an early access game that's been picking up steam around the PC gaming world. (pun intended) What did our resident videon games Real Human Bing Aulden think about it? Listen to find out!End Notes: "Slay the Spire" Gameplay - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VNJQo3szN0&t=653s Buy it for yourself! - https://store.steampowered.com/app/646570/Slay_the...2018-05-1511 min
Real Human BingsReal Bing Book Reviews Announcement - C.H.I.P.S. In ChinaHave we got an important announcement for you! Our newest segment, REAL BING BOOK REVIEWS is ready for your ear holes!Would you like to hear Aulden and Jacob read through one of the worst books ever and slowly but surely lose their minds? Of course you do! Want to listen? Give us a ITunes review or contact us on Twitter or Instagram with your favorite RHB moment for the SECRET PASSWORD! Oooooooooooh! Blurb: What happens when Canadian HUDSON SMITH comes to Baishantan to teach at the Chinese Harmonious International Peace School? Well, lots of...2018-05-0807 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 20 - A Foodial Effort (4/8/18)Happy 20th episode everybody! If we were a REAL Real Human Bing, we still couldn't drink in the USA! But we'd still have a kick ass birthday party. And you would be invited! Come along with us for this special episode all about a matter close to my stomach, food. We talk about our favorite places to eat in China as well as trends we've noticed during our time here. It's so easy to eat out here all the time guys! This episode also features a new segment we're very excited about! "Game Over" will be released...2018-04-111h 16
Real Human BingsEpisode 19 - Is Dirk Gently Going into the Night? (3/11/18)Crazy alternate dimensions? Weird and wacky coincidences? Elijah Wood as a hapless everyman? And that was just a description of our visit to the 2018 Olympics, not the TV show! We're revisiting an old friend of ours, Dirk Gently, to check in on him for his second. It's a whole new mystery with whole new characters. We "Man on the Street" the show, go over our new favorite moments and discuss perhaps a lack of... something. Will it get another season? Or will it go gently into the night? (AVclub already made that joke, so I'm totally stealing...2018-03-181h 29
Real Human BingsEpisode 18 - Darren Auldenosky's 'mother!' (2/10/18)This one's a special one just for the moms and sisters out there! Today is not just a podcast, it's a FAMCAST! Aulden is a sole Human Bing on this one as he goes face to face with his biggest challenge yet! His mother, Stefanie! And his sister, Ella! At the same time! Listen to the Real Human Bing questions as they lead to conversations about stupid actions, pets with human appendages, and dog stories. (Mostly dog stories really, because of course why wouldn't it be that?) Also, get Stefanie and Ella's impressions of China...2018-03-091h 01
Real Human BingsEpisode 17 - I Don't Believe in Beginnings (1/29/18)It's been a while friends! I hope you've been in good health. If not, maybe listening to this podcast will help out. After all, 4 out of 5 doctors recommend it! On this anniversary episode of Real Human Bings, we get contemplative with a look back at our very first episode! First, we re-review the 2016 sci-fi movie Arrival, reflecting on how dumb our past selves were. Then we take a look at past New Years resolutions, improvements to the show, and hopes for the future. Lastly, our Picks of the Week as well as a throwback to past episodes...2018-03-041h 30
Real Human BingsEpisode 16 - The Last Human Bing (1/7/18)Whole new year, whole new Bings. That's right. At the end of this episode, one of us dies!No, no, no... Just kidding! Only childhoods die on our show! Because today we're talking about the newest Star Wars film, "The Last Jedi" (2017). Fan reception and critic reception were split on this movie. What did we think? Listen to find out with our patently focused conversation. Also, what did you do this New Years? We went skiing! And we didn't break any appendages! That's a win in my book! Lastly, we give a couple Picks of the Week...2018-01-131h 27
Real Human BingsToo Smart For You - 11/29/17 (Zimbabwe, North Korea, Donald Trump, Beijing Fire)Welcome to the newest segment for Dark Wolf Media, the current events podcast, Too Smart For You! Stephen Smart, the smartest man in the world, is joined by the hosts of Real Human Bings to run through important news of the month. Our inaugural episode, recorded 11/29/17, we tackle the coup that ousted Robert Mugabe from power, North Korea's missile tests and a soldier's dramatic defection, Donald Trump's comments to Navajo WWII veterans, and a fire which broke out in Beijing. (Some of these events may have changed oops! Donald Trump has already upped his crazy level... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) Check it out! 2017-12-1636 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 15 - Smart People Only (11/28/17)You heard the title! Smart people only! Dummies? You better stop listening right now! Don't even read this next sentence!I'm just kidding of course. I love the poorly educated!On this special episode, we have a certified Real Human Bing Stephen Smart stop on by the studio for some good ol fashioned questions. We also talk the new Justice League movie (2017) and how much we love DC and its extended universe. And of course, we have our picks of the week. Check it out!Endnotes:Justice League - http://www.imdb...2017-12-061h 40
Real Human BingsEpisode 14 - Give Wywy A Sporting Chance (11/12/17)You asked for it! You got it! (Did anyone ask for this?) Even if no one did, we are joined by Wywy himself!That's right, Wyatt Danowski himself! We talk about education in England, the last time we got into a fight, and worst job experiences with our Real Human Bing questions. Then we discuss sports and the experience of being a fan here in Asia. Lastly, as always, we have our picks of the week! Bing it on Humans!Endnotes:How to get into the KBO - https://deadspin.com/how-to-get-into-the-kbo-the-wildest-most-outlandish-b-1793523523The KHL - http://en.khl.ru/Dalian...2017-11-181h 25
Real Human BingsEpisode 13 - Does Dan have Fuller Dreams? (11/5/17)Yo yo yo Real Human Bings! We got a great convo with a great new Human Bing this week, Mr. Dan Fuller!After we go over some Real Human Bing questions, including the oldest person you know and whether or not you'd sell your dog (among others), we also discuss "Blade Runner 2049." How does it effect the legacy of the original? What does it mean to be human? How dreamy is Ryan Gosling? All these questions and more! Last but not least, we have our Picks of the Week! Check it out guys!Endnotes:Oldest woman in the world...2017-11-111h 37
Real Human BingsBest Movie Music? You Decide! (10/17/17)Howdy hey! This is a follow up to Episode 12 about the "The Foreigner."In Episode 12: There's No Crying in Football (10/17/17), Aulden mentioned that Cliff Martinez, the composer for "Drive", also did the music for "The Foreigner."Jacob then stated his opinion that the music from "Drive" was far superior and only poopy-diaper-pants boys liked music from "The Foreigner." Then Aulden said oh yeah wanna make something of it? And Jacob responded with yeah I do! And then they got into a physical fight which was very pathetic and got cut from the episode itself. So...2017-11-0405 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 12 - There's No Crying in Football (10/17/17)Hey ya'll! This episode's got it all, Jackie Chan, football, and internalized racism and sexism! Wow! What more could you ask for from us Real Human Bings?Joined by our wonderful friend Amanda Joyce, we break down the new Jackie Chan film, "The Foreigner" (2017)! Should you go see old man Jackie take try to take down Pierce Bronson? Listen and find out! We also go over our most recent REAL HUMAN FIELD TRIP to the Dalian football (or soccer) stadium. Lastly, we have a bummer time going over our picks of the week... Still! Sit down and take a listen...2017-10-281h 56
Real Human BingsEpisode 11 - Beats by Jerry (10/4/17)It's an extra long episode about Chinese music man! Not the Chinese version of the musical: the music man, but it's about music, man! (Commas save lives people)Unfortunately, a bunch of audio was lost :( BUT that means that instead of being extra extra long, this episode is only extra long. We listen to some popular Chinese music (did you guess the topic?) then do a Real Human Bing Search on everyone's favorite, Jerry Springer. Last but not least, our picks of the week where we get an assist from friend of the pod Amanda! Taste our audio with your...2017-10-201h 56
Real Human BingsEpisode 10.5 - BONUS POD: JFK Eats KFC at a Mysterious Park (9/16/17)BONUS POD!Short little episode today, complete with conversations from different sections of episodes that didn't make into the main one! We have JFK on the golf course, an argument atop a hill next to a Buddhist sculpture, and a random train convo that veers off course at the end toward Colonel Sanders if he were creepier than he was already... Check it out!Endnotes:JFK - https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600/presidents/johnfkennedyMaybe what Aulden and I need to look into getting... - https://www.talkspace.com/Special herbs and spices! - https://www.kfc.com/--- Send in a...2017-10-0814 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 10 - Mysteriously Orienting Our Morals (8/25/17)Crikey! What's that I see? Is it a Real Human Bing? On a Field Trip? That's right, it's a summer field trip boys and girls!For our first installment of REAL HUMAN BING FIELD TRIPS, we went to a sculpture park with lots of Buddhist/Traditional/Legendary/Chinese/Tacky stuff. Our thoughts, as always, are briefly illuminating before we start talking about boners and crap. Also in this episode, we discuss morality and if it can be taught. Lastly, our picks of the week. Bing it up man!Endnotes:Guzheng for sale - https://www.amazon.com/Gu-Zheng-21-strings-Stand/dp...2017-09-301h 25
Real Human BingsEpisode 9 - Golf Boyz Lose Their Fidginities (6/20/17)Fore! Hoooooo boy, this one's a daggum humdinger! We went to a Chinese golf course and hit some balls with some metal sticks. That's pretty much what golf is right? (I've only ever been to a driving range...)Aside from our own impressions of the golf course, we also discuss golf in China as a whole and how it effects the country. Then we get into it with our first new HUMAN BING SEARCH section about 2017's latest dead (?) fad: fidget spinners! Lastly, we end with our Picks of the Week and an impromptu rap in the voice of Karl...2017-09-221h 47
Real Human BingsEpisode 8 - Two Grownups watch Grownups Two (6/10/17)We're back bae-beeeeee! Both with our second installment AND back in China! (The episode was recorded two months ago. Shhhhh! Don't tell anyone!)In this episode, we talk about Grownups 2, the second in the Grownups duoliogy (?) and our opinions might actually surprise you! We then talk about the divide between artist and artistry through the lens of a (relatively) famous youtube mashup musician. Last we let you in on our picks of the week! Ready for a woke and then completely unwoke convo? Well doesn't matter, cause that's what we have! Onward!Endnotes:www.youtube.com/user/Fagottron - Pogo's...2017-09-011h 31
Real Human BingsEpisode 7 - All Grown Up (5/20/17)What have I done? In an example of man's hubris, I challenged Aulden to watch Adam Sandler's duo of Grown Ups movies. After only 15 minutes through the first one, we both were looking at the detergent under the sink as a possible option. (Jesus Jacob, suicide jokes? Pull yourself up here...)Sorry about that. Anyways, we watched the first movie in this episode literally minutes before starting to talk. It's pretty bad. Between the odd timing choices, stupid as shit jokes/writing, and the misogynistic messaging, this is among the worst of Sandler's movies. But not the absolute worst... (???)We...2017-06-101h 17
Real Human BingsEpisode 6.5 - BONUS POD! Inconveniences and Loon Calls (4/9/17)BONUS POD! What do you do with a random ten minute chunk of time that doesn't fit in with the rest of the episode? Release it as a bonus pod!In this random discussion, we take a look at minor inconveniences and how they effect daily life in China. Like, how do inconveniences help a government control its people? How can inconveniences prevent suicide? What does living your whole life with these inconveniences cause you to feel like? Bing it man!Endnotes:Hilarious World of Depression - https://www.apmpodcasts.org/thwod/--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor...2017-05-2813 min
Real Human BingsEpisode 6 - Unshelling the Ghost (4/9/17)Scarlett Johansson? More like Scarlett Cyborgson! (Wow... Does that even count as a joke?) We saw Ghost in the Shell so you know what that means! REAL! HUMAN! BINGS!Our discussion happened over a month ago, so you've probably heard the gist of the conversation we're having here. But if you're interested in hearing fresh reactions to this movie only a couple days after seeing it, then I think it's still a valuable conversation.The second topic is about an interesting Vox.com article which examines how social media has connected the younger generation of China with a more liberal...2017-05-281h 20
Real Human BingsEpisode 5 - Joyce to the World, Amanda has Come (3/25/17)Hooray, we're finally back!So I was trying to not let it go an entire month before updating the pod, but, heh heh. Not in the cards. I hope you guys like the updates I added to this week's pod, I promise the lateness isn't because I'm lazy but instead because I'm innovating! (More like half and half...)This week (a while ago), we had our mutual friend and fellow Human Bing, Amanda Joyce on for a guest appearance. We do a "Questions" section with her where we get into some deep stuff, including the last time we all cried...2017-05-211h 19
Real Human BingsEpisode 4 - Soggy Toast (3/4/17)We're back! And this time with a very special Human Bing... In our first official "Search Results" episode, we have a special guest and friend of the pod Julie Forrest in order to ask her meaningless questions in our dumb little side project. We get into human memories, best and worst musicals, and asking questions with specificity. Later, we share our stories about traveling and see what Julie's initial impressions of China. Finally, we end off with each of our picks of the week! (Apologies about the sound quality on the commercial break by the way guys. I (Jake) was...2017-04-011h 34
Real Human BingsEpisode 3 - Bowling for Musical Depression (2/10/17)Yo bro! This one's a late one! In this episode, we discuss the results of Super Bowl 51 (wow this is late...) including the literal winners and losers as well as the winners and losers of "the commercial bowl," and other stuff! Yippee! Also we discuss a question from Aulden, "Pick three musical selections that exemplify your experience in high school," or something to that effect... I dunno! This is Jake writing this, I never know what the other one's talking about! Last but not least, we check in on our New Year's Resolutions which ends up making us very depressed...2017-03-101h 05
Real Human BingsEpisode 2 - Dirk Gently Dreams of Electric Censorship (2/2/2017)Yo bro! You came back? To listen to two dudes who sound really similar talk about random stuff? Awesome! In this extra-length episode of Real Human Bings, we get down and dirty with the new BBC America series Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. How much does it share in common with the Douglas Adams books? How cute is Elijah Wood? How far off track do we get from our topics? Well, you'll have to listen to the episode to find out silly! We also talk at length about censorship, an upcoming sporting event, and more weird music. Oh yeah, and...2017-02-101h 47
Real Human BingsEpisode 1 - Arrival of New Year's Resolutions (1/29/2017)Welcome to the Real Human Bings, a podcast where two idiots talk about random stuff for a while. Hopefully if that sounds fun, you're here to check out our FIRST OFFICIAL EPISODE! Today, we discuss the new(ish) sci-fi movie Arrival, the New Year's holiday, and a grabbag of topics like food, music, and inappropriate racism! Straight white male privilege is the best kind of privilege! Hooray!--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/krandorkroobs/message2017-02-091h 20