Shows
No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'Andre, Jake, and the End - Part 1We've reached the end, folks. Andre and Jake get together to discuss the penultimate Monk episode, MR. MONK AND THE END (PART 1)!
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Share this show with a friend.2021-11-191h 00No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E15 - Andre, Jake and the BadgeThis podcast takes place on the wrong side of the thin blue line. Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE BADGE!
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Call your police tipline and recommend this podcast to them. Actually don't do that because I think it's against the law.2021-11-1742 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E14 - Andre and Jake Are The Best MenWhat's that sound you hear? Is it wedding bells? Nope. It's Andre and Jake talking MR. MONK IS THE BEST MAN!
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If you are a wedding cake decorator, don't bother putting your next customers' names on top of their cake. Put a recommendation of this podcast. They will thank you later.2021-11-151h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E12 - Andre and Jake Go CampingGather around the fire and listen to Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK GOES CAMPING!
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Next time you go camping, repeat an anecdote from this podcast as if it were a scary campfire story.2021-11-1158 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E11 - Andre, Jake, and the DogWho let the Monk out? Who? Who? Who? Who?
Andre and Jake are back from a hiatus to talk MR. MONK AND THE DOG!
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If you go off to war, don't put your name and rank on your dog tags, put a recommendation to this podcast.2021-11-021h 09No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E10 - Andre, Jake, & SharonaGuess who's back? Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND SHARONA!
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Next time you run into an old ex and he or she asks how you are doing, don't update them on your actual life, just recommend them this podcast.2021-10-2451 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E09 - Happy Birthday, Andre & JakeIt's time for a celebration! Not our birthdays, but Monk's birthday! Andre and Jake are back to talk HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. MONK!
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Next time you are in charge of getting a cake decorated for a small child's birthday, eschew any birthday message and instead have it say, "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN."2021-10-181h 00No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E08 - Andre and Jake Go to Group TherapyIt's our turn to share first. Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK GOES TO GROUP THERAPY!
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Write a recommendation to this podcast on a piece of paper and turn it into a paper airplane. Throw it across a large, crowded room.2021-10-1253 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E07 - Andre, Jake, and the Voodoo CurseCall in the witch doctor! Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE VOODOO CURSE!
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If they still make those car rims that can display messages when they're spinning, but this podcast logo on yours.2021-10-0753 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E06 - Andre, Jake, and the CriticDon't give this episode a bad review! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE CRITIC!
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If you are getting your dog chipped, in addition to your name and address, have them enter a recommendation of this podcast onto it. That way, when someone finds your lost dog, you get your dog back, and they get a cool podcast to listen to.2021-10-0350 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E05 - Andre and Jake Take the StandOrder in the court! Andre and Jake stand trial to talk MR. MONK TAKES THE STAND!
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Buy a plaque on a bench in Central Park that says "Listen to No Funkin Strictly Monkin"2021-09-3057 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E04 - Andre and Jake Are Someone ElseIs this just another podcast pretending to be No Funkin'. Strictly Monkin'? Of course not. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK IS SOMEONE ELSE!
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I'll make this one on-topic: if you should ever meet your doppleganger, recommend this podcast to them.2021-09-2237 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E03 - Andre, Jake, and the UFOWhat's that in the sky? Oh right! It's Andre and Jake talking MR. MONK AND THE UFO.
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If you are an NFL player featured on Sunday Night Football, do your intro thing as "[First name] [Last name], Strictly Monkin' University."2021-09-1340 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E02 - Andre, Jake, and the Foreign ManThis episode cannot be contained to the United States! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE FOREIGN MAN!
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If you are traveling abroad, recommend this podcast to the most intimidating customs agent you see.2021-09-0453 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S08E01 - Andre and Jake's Favorite ShowAndre and Jake are talking their favorite show's favorite show!
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Follow Jake: @thejakechristie2021-08-3057 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E16 - Andre and Jake Fight City HallWe've reached the end of season seven! Andre and Jake talk the finale of the penultimate season, MR. MONK FIGHTS CITY HALL!
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In the spirit of this episode, at your next local city council hearing, make a public speech recommending this podcast to the panel. They'll probably cut you off at some point, so make sure you have a quick pitch.2021-08-2456 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E15 - Andre, Jake, and the MagicianAbra-cadorfman, folks! Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK AND THE MAGICIAN!
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If you are indeed a magician, please work a recommendation of our podcast into your act. I personally would suggest having an audience member write their name on a card and then you magically turn their name into "NO FUNKIN STRICTLY MONKIN," but you probably know better than me.2021-08-2049 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E13 - Andre and Jake Make the PlayoffsHut, hut... MONK! Andre and Jake put on their pads to talk MR. MONK MAKES THE PLAYOFFS!
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If you own cattle, brand this podcast logo onto a steer instead of your initials or whatever.2021-08-0451 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E12 - Andre, Jake and the Lady Next DoorIf you listen to this whole podcast, you can take a candy out of the jar. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE LADY NEXT DOOR!
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If you are an Olympian and win an Olympic event, credit this podcast as one of the things in your training regimen.2021-07-3056 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E11 - Andre and Jake On WheelsAndre and Jake keep on rollin' to talk MR. MONK ON WHEELS!
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If you work at Best Buy, rig the TVs to display the logo of our podcast.2021-07-2353 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E10 - Andre and Jake's Other BrotherThis podcast is good - hand to God! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK'S OTHER BROTHER!
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If you own a large farm, please mow a crop circle that says "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN STRICTLY MONKIN."2021-07-2054 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E09 - Andre, Jake, and the MiracleDo you believe in miracles? YES! Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE MIRACLE!
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If you decide to disappear without a trace, leave our podcast up on your computer so the police will think it's a clue, and they'll listen to our episodes trying to find important info.2021-07-1840 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E08 - Andre and Jake Get HypnotizedYou are getting very sleepy... just kidding - you gotta listen to this podcast. Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK GETS HYPNOTIZED!
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Slip a link to this podcast into your work e-mail's signature and see if anyone notices.2021-07-1356 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E07 - Andre and Jake's 100th CaseA nice round number. Andre and Jake put the show inFocus to discuss MR. MONK'S 100TH CASE!
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If you are a psychic, 1) you're a liar, and 2) tell every client you see today that you see them listening to this podcast in their future.2021-07-061h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E06 - Andre and Jake Fall in LoveLove is in the air. Or at least in this episode. Andre and Jake get their Zemenian passports stamped to talk MR. MONK FALLS IN LOVE!
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Hack into one of those electronic signs they set up on the side of highways and change "SLOW. CONSTRUCTION AHEAD." to "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN STRICTLY MONKIN."2021-06-2951 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E04 - Andre and Jake Take a PunchAndre and Jake hop in the ring to talk MR. MONK TAKES A PUNCH!
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Go on Facebook and group message twenty people with the same first and last name as you. Recommend this pod to them.2021-06-1848 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E03 - Andre and Jake Get Lotto FeverIt looks like our number has come up. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK GETS LOTTO FEVER!
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If you happen to die sometime soon (as in, before this podcast ends), and a medium contacts you, instead of telling your loved ones that you are all right, tell them to listen to this podcast.2021-06-1549 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E02 - Andre, Jake, and the GeniusYou are very smart for listening to this episode. Andre and Jake are here to talk MR. MONK AND THE GENIUS!
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Build a time machine, go back to Ancient Egypt, and get a scribe to write a recommendation to this podcast in hieroglyphics.2021-06-1141 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S07E01 - Andre and Jake Buy a HouseIt's the beginning of season 7, so Andy B and Jake C put a down payment in on a forever home to talk MR. MONK BUYS A HOUSE!
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If you are a demon/ghost currently terrorizing an innocent family, next time you write them a message in blood, make it "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN."2021-06-0849 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E16 - Andre and Jake are On the Run (Part 2)Your friends Andre and Jake finish out season six strong with MR. MONK IS ON THE RUN - PART 2!
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Commit a heinous crime, get convicted, and when it's your turn to speak at your sentencing hearing, instead of repenting, recommend this podcast to the judge, attorneys, and any onlookers.2021-06-0451 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E15 - Andre and Jake are On the Run (Part 1)Your friends Andre and Jake are back from a brief hiatus to discuss part one of the season six finale: MR. MONK IS ON THE RUN!
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Next time you go to a baseball game, instead of wishing someone a happy birthday on the Jumbo-Tron, ask them to put up a recommendation to this podcast.2021-06-0155 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E14 - Andre and Jake Paint Their MasterpieceA picture says a thousand words. And a podcast says at least two-thousand. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK PAINTS HIS MASTERPIECE.
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Engrave the words "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin" onto a small piece of metal of some kind. Swallow that piece of metal. Go to the hospital and when they do an X-ray, say to the technician, "Maybe you should do what the piece of metal says."2021-05-211h 08No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E13 - Andre, Jake, and the Three JuliesI got bad news if your name is Julie Teeger - you have to listen to this podcast! Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE THREE JULIES!
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In the spirit of this episode, find someone on Facebook with your exact name and recommend this podcast to them.2021-05-181h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E12 - Andre and Jake Go to the BankWe'd like to make a deposit: this podcast into your ears. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK GOES TO THE BANK!
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If you are a producer on that new Game of Thrones prequel thing, get a Dothraki character to recommend this podcast in the Dothraki language.2021-05-1453 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E10 - Andre, Jake, and the Man Who Shot SantaIt would have been a silent night if not for the chopper singing out. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE MAN WHO SHOT SANTA!
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I'll make this one simple. Mother's Day is coming up. Give your mother the gift of this podcast (unless she is offended by *repeated* mentions of cuckolding).2021-05-071h 05No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E09 - Andre and Jake are Up All NightPound another cup of coffee, because you're not hitting the hay any time soon. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK IS UP ALL NIGHT!
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If you do the bottom ticker on CNN, please slide in a recommendation for this podcast in between stories of Trump cronies admitting to crimes.2021-05-0451 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E08 - Andre, Jake, and the Wrong ManMonk may have gotten the wrong man, but you've got the right podcast. Listen to Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE WRONG MAN!
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If you are a PhD student working on your dissertation, include this podcast in your acknowledgements. The worst thing that can happen is the people reading it listen to an episode.2021-04-3051 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E07 - Andre, Jake, and the DaredevilIt's a bird, it's a plane, it's... a podcast! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE DAREDEVIL!
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If you work at a CVS, add a recommendation to our podcast onto your receipts. They're so long, corporate won't notice.2021-04-231h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E06 - Andre, Jake, and the Buried TreasureX marks the spot and the spot is this podcast. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK AND THE BURIED TREASURE!
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If you are a video game developer, please make the cheat code that gives you infinite lives be "STRICTLY MONKIN."2021-04-2057 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E05 - Andre, Jake, and the Birds and the BeesWhen a man loves a TV show very much, he asks his online friend to do a podcast where they watch all of it. This is that podcast. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE BIRDS AND THE BEES.
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Find a low-tier NASCAR team in need of sponsorship money and pay to get our logo onto their car.2021-04-1653 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S06E02 - Andre, Jake, and the RapperWord. Word. Word. Here's the 4-1-1 (that means "information"), Andre and Jake drop the mic to talk MR. MONK AND THE RAPPER!
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I know you're told to call your congressperson a lot these days, and while I don't think you should call them JUST to recommend this podcast, if you're calling them to, say, speak out against horrible voting laws or anti-trans legislation, throw in a recommendation to the staffer who answers the phone.2021-04-0645 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S0601 - Andre and Jake and Their Biggest FanWe'll sign autographs, but no photos! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK MEETS HIS BIGGEST FAN!
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If you are a professional psychic, (1) stop lying to people, and (2) tell them that the tarot card they pull means that they have to listen to this podcast.2021-04-0258 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E16 - Andre and Jake Go to the HospitalYou've gotta listen to this podcast, stat! Andre and Jake's vitals are stable so they talk MR. MONK GOES TO THE HOSPITAL.
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If you happen to know a gorilla that does sign language, recommend this podcast to him or her (in sign language).2021-03-301h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E14 - Andre and Jake Visit a FarmYEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWW! Andre and Jake get to giddyin' up and talk MR. MONK VISITS A FARM!
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If you are getting divorced/separated and announce it via a Notes app screenshot on Instagram, find a way to plug this podcast in the note. I know it will probably be hard to do, but it would mean a lot.2021-03-2355 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E13 - Andre and Jake are On the AirLong time listener, first time caller: Andre and Jake talk about MR. MONK IS ON THE AIR!
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If you are the Zodiac Killer, please make a cypher where the solution is "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" and send it to the San Francisco Chronicle.2021-03-191h 00No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E11 - Andre and Jake Make a FriendYou've got a friend in this podcast. Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK MAKES A FRIEND.
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If you are the president of a prestigious university, change your school's motto to whatever "No Funkin, Strictly Monkin" is in Latin.2021-03-121h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E10 - Andre, Jake, and the LeperDon't send us away to a colony - we're merely talking about a leper. That's right, Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE LEPER.
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If you are trying to launch the newest cryptocurrency, please call it StrictlyMonkin Coin.2021-03-091h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E09 - Andre and Jake Meet Their DadLike father, unlike son. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK MEETS HIS DAD!
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If you are a librarian, cover those racist Dr. Seuss drawings with Wite-Out and then write over them, "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin."2021-03-0556 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E08 - Andre and Jake Go to a Rock ConcertFor those about to podcast, we salute you. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK GOES TO A ROCK CONCERT!
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Pick a random Wikipedia page, and edit it to have a recommendation to this podcast. But make sure it doesn't stick out too much. Like, if you're editing the page for Niagara Falls, add a paragraph like, "Many locals consider listening to the sounds of the Falls to be quite enjoyable. Speaking of other things that are enjoyable to listen to, the podcast No Funkin, Strictly Monkin."2021-03-0252 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E06 - Andre, Jake, and the Class ReunionReunited and it feels so good! Except for, you know, the murder victim. We're talking MR. MONK AND THE CLASS REUNION.
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If you're Catholic, recommend this podcast to your priest during confession. I (Jake) was raised Catholic, but I haven't done confession in [checks watch] almost 15 years, so I can't remember if this would be frowned upon. It's worth a try, though.2021-02-1955 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S05E05 - Andre and Jake, Private EyesThe investigator may be private, but this episode is for public consumption. Okay, that didn't make sense, but you can tell by the title Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK, PRIVATE EYE.
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If you find yourself on whatever 2021's version of ChatRoulette is, make sure you recommend this podcast to everyone you talk to. Even the people who are pleasuring themselves (a listen is a listen).2021-02-1647 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S0503 - Andre, Jake, and the Big GameIf you don't listen to this episode, it's a technical foul. Andre and Jake hit the showers to talk MR. MONK AND THE BIG GAME.
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Next time you're at a party (post-COVID, obviously), do this podcast in charades. Yeah, yeah, no one is gonna get it, but then you have a fun podcast to recommend to them.2021-02-091h 03No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S0502 - Andre, Jake, and the Garbage StrikeSomething stinks, and it's not this episode! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE GARBAGE STRIKE!
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If you are a member of any radical organizations of any kind, please include a recommendation of this podcast in the literature you hand out at your meetings.2021-02-0548 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E16 - Andre and Jake Get Jury DutyThe end of season four is upon us, and Andre and Jake have the pleasure of talking MR. MONK GETS JURY DUTY.
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If you are in a famous rock band, please put a subliminal message in one of your songs that says, "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" when you play it backwards.2021-01-291h 03No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E14 - Andre, Jake, and the AstronautAndre and Jake are cleared for takeoff (with secret escape pod in tow) to talk MR. MONK AND THE ASTRONAUT!
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When you get your COVID vaccine, recommend this show to the person vaccinating you.2021-01-221h 02No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E013 - Andre, Jake, and the Big RewardDiamonds are forever, but this episode is about 53 minutes long. Listen to Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE BIG REWARD!
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If you're in high school, leave a note in your crush's locker but instead of telling him or her that they are your crush, the note says that they should listen to this podcast.2021-01-1952 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E12 - Andre, Jake, and the Captain's MarriageThese things happen. And by "things," I mean Andre and Jake talking MR. MONK AND THE CAPTAIN'S MARRIAGE.
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If by some miracle you happen to be proficient in skywriting, please write "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" in the sky on a clear day at the beach.2021-01-1545 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E10 - Andre and Jake Go to a Fashion ShowIf you hear a faint drip, don't worry - that's just our outfits. Andre and Jake do a little turn on the catwalk and talk MR. MONK GOES TO A FASHION SHOW.
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Go on a conspiracy website and tell them you have evidence of widespread voter fraud and then just recommend this podcast.2021-01-0856 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E09 - Andre, Jake, and the Secret SantaIt's the most wonderful time of the year! That's right - a week and a half after Christmas. Andre and Jake get back in the holiday spirit to talk MR. MONK AND THE SECRET SANTA.
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If you're an NFL player who is okay with getting fined by the league, write "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin'" on your cleats.2021-01-0557 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E08 - Andre, Jake, and Little MonkIt's a blast-from-the-past as Andre and Jake take a look at MR. MONK AND LITTLE MONK!
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If you are getting married in the year 2021 (post COVID vaccine, obviously), please incorporate a recommendation of this podcast into your wedding vows.2020-12-291h 03No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E07 - Andre and Jake Go to a WeddingMazel Tov! It's wedding time for Andre and Jake, which is exciting because they both claim to be great wedding guests. They're talkin' MR. MONK GOES TO A WEDDING!
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If you find yourself recreating the famous scene from the second-most-problematic-plotline of Love, Actually, please include a card that recommends this podcast. It's the very least you can do, given that you are actively professing your love to your best friend's wife while he is mere feet away.2020-12-231h 03No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E05 - Andre and Jake Get DrunkJust as our friend Adrian Monk got lost in the sauce, so too did Andre and Jake to talk MR. MONK GETS DRUNK. Yes, seriously. Andre and Jake recorded this episode drunk. They weren't so drunk it was incoherent, but...
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If you work at a bar (and bars finally re-open) name a drink the "Strictly Monkin'." It can be anything, but no gin because I (Jake) hate gin and I would like to order it at some point.2020-12-151h 03No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E04 - Andre and Jake Go to the OfficeLike a hamster on a wheel, Andre and Jake head into the office to get some work done and cover MR. MONK GOES TO THE OFFICE.
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If you are an Egyptologist with nothing to lose, fake your next translation to say, "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN STRICTLY MONKIN," that way, people will think that ancient gods foresaw this podcast.2020-12-0859 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E03 - Andre and Jake Stay in BedAndre and Jake are under the weather, so they're not getting up, and you shouldn't either. We're talkin' MR. MONK STAYS IN BED!
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If you're a highly-touted high school football recruit, please include a recommendation to this podcast in your letter of intent.2020-12-0456 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E02 - Andre and Jake Go Home AgainThere's no place like home, and there's no podcast like this one. Andre and Jake are back from their Thanksgiving break to talk MR. MONK GOES HOME AGAIN!
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Next time you go to the beach, instead of "listening" to the ocean in a seashell, try telling the ocean to listen to this podcast.2020-12-011h 02No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S04E01 - Andre, Jake, and the Other DetectiveSeason four has arrived, and so has detective Marty Eels! Listen to Andre and Jake break down MR. MONK AND THE OTHER DETECTIVE!
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If you appear on Jeopardy! (RIP Alex Trebek), and you don't know the answer for Final Jeopardy, write "Listen to No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'" as your answer instead of a guess.2020-11-2453 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E16 - Andre, Jake, and the KidIt's season finale time! Andre and Jake stock up on diapers and wipes to talk MR. MONK AND THE KID!
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You should absolutely not be traveling for Thanksgiving this year, but if you must, recommend this podcast to your entire extended family as penance.2020-11-2056 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E15 - Andre, Jake, and the ElectionThe race is too close to call! Andre and Jake fill out their ballots and talk MR. MONK AND THE ELECTION!
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If you happen to have a cousin that was like, fifth-billed on an ABC family TV show in the mid-2000s, text them a link to this podcast.2020-11-1756 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E14 - Andre and Jake Go to VegasVEGAS, BABY, VEGAS! Andre and Jake head straight for the slot machines as they discuss all things scarves in MR. MONK GOES TO VEGAS!
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If you ever find yourself making a quilt, make one of the patches say, "Listen to No Funkin', Strictly Monkin.'"2020-11-131h 02No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E12 - Andre and Jake Get Cabin FeverThe great outdoors... is not where this podcast was recorded. Monk may be in witness protection, but Andre and Jake are in the comfort of their apartments, talkin' MR. MONK GETS CABIN FEVER.
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If you're one of the lawyers representing Trump in one of his election cases, right a recommendation to this podcast at the end of your legal brief. You're already an embarrassment, so I'm sure it won't make a difference.2020-11-0650 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E08 - Andre, Jake, and the Game ShowSurvey says... Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE GAME SHOW.
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Go on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, get to the million dollar question, and phone a friend. When you phone that friend (whoever you'd like), instead of asking them the question, recommend them No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'.2020-10-201h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E05 - Andre and Jake Meet the GodfatherGabagool! Andre and Jake find themselves face-to-face with a mafia don as they talk MR. MONK MEETS THE GODFATHER! Ayy, paisan!
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Share this show with the nearest sea captain.2020-10-091h 13No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E03 - Andre, Jake, and the BlackoutLight a candle and empty your fridge, 'cause Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK AND THE BLACKOUT!
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Find your high school bully on Facebook and, with no explanation, send him a link to this podcast.2020-10-0258 min
No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E02 - Andre, Jake, and the Panic RoomLock the doors! Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK AND THE PANIC ROOM! #JusticeForDarwin
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Purposely clog your toilet with paper towels, call a plumber, and when he's over unclogging the pipes, recommend this podcast to him.2020-09-2952 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S03E01 - Andre and Jake Take ManhattanNew York is a concrete jungle where dreams are made, and Andre and Jake tackle when Mr. Monk hits those streets in MR. MONK TAKES MANHATTAN!
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Walk up to a random stranger on the street, grab them by the shoulders, look deep into their eyes, and say, with the seriousness of a death in the family, "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin."2020-09-271h 05No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E16 - Andre and Jake Go to JailPrison changes a man, and so does podcasting about the show Monk. Listen to Andre and Jake as they talk the season 2 finale, MR. MONK GOES TO JAIL. And stay tuned for a special announcement at the end!
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If you work as a cake decorator, decorate your next cake to say, "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" no matter what the order request says. Sorry, little Timmy. No "Happy Birthday" for you. The cake decorator has a podcast s/he wants to promote.2020-09-181h 11No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E15 - Andre and Jake Get MarriedIf you like this episode, you should put a ring on it. Andre and Jake crack open the journals and talk MR. MONK GETS MARRIED.
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If you share a bathroom with a significant other or roommate, after you take a shower, write "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN', STRICTLY MONKIN'" on the fogged-up bathroom mirror. That way, when they take a shower, they see that message on the mirror.2020-09-1553 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E14 - Andre, Jake, and the Captain's WifeI can't think of a pithy sentence to start this description with. But this is a pretty good episode, and we have a pretty good time discussing it, so tune in.
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If you have a HAM Radio, put out a message for everyone within range to listen to this podcast.2020-09-111h 08No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E13 - Andre, Jake, and the Missing GrannyIf you're looking for a jar of Werther's Originals, I've got bad news: Granny is missing! That's right, Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE MISSING GRANNY. Tune in for that episode recap and stay for Jake recapping a Shaq/TMZ encounter from memory.
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Consider getting a temporary tattoo on your forehead that reads "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN'." It would help.2020-09-0858 min
No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E12 - Andre, Jake, and the TV StarLights... camera... episode! We're talkin' MR. MONK AND THE TV STAR. Grab a seat (or stand) and listen.
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If you yodel, yodel a recommendation for this podcast.2020-09-011h 07No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E11 - Andre, Jake, and the Three PiesAndre and Jake head back to their childhood homes and dig into the pie that is this really great episode.
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If you're on a plane right now, AirDrop this podcast to a stranger.2020-08-281h 00No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E10 - Andre, Jake, and the PaperboyExtra! Extra! Read all about it! -- Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE PAPERBOY. And this episode DELIVERS.
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Share this podcast with the biggest Creed fan in your life.2020-08-261h 02No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E09 - Andre, Jake, and the 12th ManHide the Frosted Flakes because we've got a cereal killer on our hands! -- Scratch that. A SERIAL killer. Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE 12TH MAN.
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If somehow you still keep in contact with your childhood pen pal, tell him or her about this podcast.2020-08-211h 02No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E08 - Andre and Jake Meet the PlayboyThis episode, Jake and Andre discuss MR. MONK MEETS THE PLAYBOY, an episode that guest stars Danny Bonaduce as himself.
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If you ever get kidnapped and are forced to make a hostage video, please blink "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN', STRICTLY MONKIN'" in Morse code. In would mean a lot.2020-08-181h 04No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E07 - Andre, Jake, and the Sleeping SuspectDon't hit the snooze button -- Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK AND THE SLEEPING SUSPECT.
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Next time you go to the beach, put a message in a bottle that just says "Listen to NO FUNKIN', STRICTLY MONKIN'" and throw it into the ocean.2020-08-141h 01No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E06 - Andre and Jake Go to the TheaterACT I, SCENE I:
Andre and Jake record a podcast about MR. MONK GOES TO THE THEATER. Unlike this episode, this performance did not involve anyone dying (although Andre did have a three-minute-long hiccuping fit that had to be cut out).
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If you have a Magic 8 Ball, ask it "Should I share 'No Funkin, Strictly Monkin'' with a friend?" and do whatever it tells you.2020-08-1152 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E05 - Andre, Jake, and the Very, Very Old ManIf the victim is a 114 year-old man, can you still say his life was cut short? Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE VERY, VERY OLD MAN (and some other tangents, including how Matthew McConaughey's father died), so listen and enjoy!
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Go on Facebook, start to tag someone with the letter 'C,' and the first person who comes up, share this podcast with them.2020-08-0759 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E04 - Andre and Jake Go to the CircusIf you thought we covered this one already, you'd be forgiven for the mistake. This week, we're talking MR. MONK GOES TO THE CIRCUS (not to be confused with Mr. Monk Goes to the Carnival, which is exactly one season earlier). We talk clowns, annoying plot lines, and what Jake considers one of the greatest scenes in television history.
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Follow Jake: @TheJakeChristie2020-08-0452 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E03 - Andre and Jake Go to the BallgameBatter up! Andre and Jake lace up their cleats and hit the diamond as they cover MR. MONK GOES TO THE BALLGAME!
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Rate, review, subscribe, share, etc etc etc2020-07-3149 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E02 - Andre and Jake Go to MexicoAndre and Jake find themselves south of the border as they discuss MR. MONK GOES TO MEXICO. They discuss what has and hasn't aged well, whether the conclusion ruins the rest of the episode, and a Louis CK tangent that Jake inadvertently starts with a offhand joke.
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Rate, review, subscribe.2020-07-2857 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S02E01 - Andre and Jake Go Back to SchoolPencils down, class! Andre and Jake hit the books to tackle the season two premier of Monk, MR. MONK GOES BACK TO SCHOOL.
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You have at least one aunt's number in your phone. It will take two seconds to send her a link to this podcast.2020-07-241h 09No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E12 - Andre, Jake, and the AirplaneIt's season finale time here at No Funkin, Strictly Monkin. Hop aboard as Andre and Jake enjoy a leisurely flight with Mr. Monk and friends. We had a lot of fun with this one, and we hope you have the same amount of fun listening.
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RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE WITH YOUR AUNT SO HELP ME GOD2020-07-2157 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E11 - Andre, Jake, and the Red-Headed StrangerYes, there is an episode of Monk where Willie Nelson is accused of murder. Andre and Jake came together to talk about it.
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Follow Jake: @thejakechristie2020-07-1740 min
No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E07 - Andre, Jake, and the Other WomanWho would have thought Adrian Monk was single and ready to mingle? Certainly not Andre Barrera (because he has never watched this episode before, whereas Jake Christie has -- that's the conceit of the show).
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RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE!2020-07-0358 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E06 - Andre, Jake, and the Billionaire MuggerDon't be a hero: press play on this podcast.
Andre and Jake reconvene to discuss the odd case of Sidney Teal and whether or not Monk is an unforgivably bad boss.
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Follow Jake: @TheJakeChristie2020-06-3050 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E05 - Andre and Jake Go to the AsylumYou are not losing your mind: it's a new episode of No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'. Andre and Jake put on their nicest straight jackets to talk about the best episode yet.
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Follow Jake: @thejakechristie2020-06-2652 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E04 - Andre and Jake Go to the CarnivalGrab yourself some cotton candy or a funnel cake because it's carnival time! While most carnivals denote fun and joy, this one involves a cop possibly murdering an informant on a Ferris wheel. Join Andre and Jake as they discuss this crime as well as how Adrian Monk absolutely, positively does not belong back on the force.
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Follow Andre: @AndreBarrera2020-06-2351 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E03 - Andre and Jake Meet Dale the WhaleThar she blows! Andre & Jake's MONK watch-through takes them to episode three, MR. MONK MEETS DALE THE WHALE. We discuss the problematic aspects of this episode, how unusual a character Dale "The Whale" Biederbeck is, and whether anyone is named Christiaan. Definitely the best one thus far.
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RATE REVIEW SUBSCRIBE DONATE TO ORGANIZATIONS2020-06-1958 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E02 - Andre, Jake, and the PsychicI'm sensing you'll enjoy this episode... Andre and Jake reconvene to discuss the second episode of Monk: MR. MONK AND THE PSYCHIC. We discuss the merits of psychics, how guilty the bad guy looks, and whether staging it to look like someone murdered their mistress as a ploy to get them to confess to murdering their wife is entrapment.
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Follow Jake: @thejakechristie2020-06-1254 minNo Funkin', Strictly Monkin'S01E01 - Andre, Jake, and the Candidate (Pilot)The only MONK re-watch podcast you'll ever need is here! Join longtime Monk fan Jake Christie (@thejakechristie) as he invites Monk newbie Andre Barrera (@andrebarrera) to go through all 125 episodes of the USA Network Original Series MONK and pod about each one.
The rules are simple here: No Funkin', Strictly Monkin'.2020-06-051h 05