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Janea Garner & Elisa Suarez

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internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 25 - empire recordsThis week, Elisa and Janea discuss the 1995 cult favorite Empire Records, in addition to topics such as improv comedy, the Met Gala, and classical Spotify playlists. 2021-09-141h 14internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 24 - little shop of horrorsIn this episode, Elisa and Janea experience technical difficulties while trying to decipher the 80s musical Little Shop of Horrors. Other topics discussed include iconic purple suits, taking charge of finances, and epistolary essays. 2021-09-071h 28internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 23 - wet hot american summerWe close the warmer months by trying and failing to rationalize Elisa's favorite movie of all time, Wet Hot American Summer. We also discuss Amy Poehler's teeth, American Crime Story: Impeachment, and potential regrettable tattoo choices. 2021-08-241h 25internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 22 - wine countryJanea and Elisa are back together again this week THANK GOD, and they're discussing the 2019 comedy Wine Country. Other topics include college move-in weekend, Applebee's desserts, and The White Lotus. 2021-08-171h 27internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 21 - luca [solo edition pt 2!]This week, Elisa flies solo as Janea performs in her local theater company's 24 hour musical. Elisa rambles for too long on topics like Jake Gyllenhaal's bathing habits, why only certain Disney characters have accents, and her obsession with Molly Parker. 2021-08-101h 00internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 20 - gunpowder milkshake [solo edition!]Well besties, this week is a bit different. Due to our schedules being waaaaay more hectic than usual we will be delivering two SOLO episodes for the next two weeks. This episode is Janea's solo episode where she had the pleasure of watching Gunpowder Milkshake. As chaotic as this review was, she (me) made some great points besties. (and if you don't agree with me, you can argue with the wall. The ice cream truck returned...but we got through it. Anyways moral of the story: if you're gonna be an assassin, be a sexy one.2021-08-0352 mininternet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 19 - my neighbor totoroIn this episode, we discuss Janea's first Studio Ghibli film, My Neighbor Totoro. We also explore bras, Twilight, and establish that we are both definitely not working in soundproof recording studios. 2021-07-271h 25internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 18 - meet the brownsThis week, we took some creative liberties and watched a Tyler Perry stage play from Janea's childhood. We also get into inhospitable people from North Carolina, cheating and forgiveness, and gospel singing. 2021-07-201h 33internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 17 - marie antoinetteThis week we discuss Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette. We also discuss Elisa's ant problems, Janea's car problems, and our multitude of problems with the plot of Criminal Minds. Also, sorry about Elisa's audio quality, we promise we're getting it fixed ASAP!2021-07-131h 39internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 16 - wild oatsIn this episode, we watch Wild Oats, another very on brand Janea favorite. We also THANK THE HEAVENS that Janea is safe and sound, discuss the scandalous trash that is Sex/Life, and explore the merits of building one's credit. 2021-07-061h 22internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 15 - cruel intentionsWe talk all things melodramatic 90's teen sex film in this week's episode, in addition to heat waves, silver linings, and loafers. 2021-06-291h 39internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 14 - robotsIn this episode, we watch the 2005 film Robots, a childhood favorite of Janea's. We also discuss the failures of capitalism, season 2 of Avatar the Last Airbender, and Dixie Carter's iconic role on Designing Women. 2021-06-221h 31internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 13 - ingrid goes westIn this episode, we welcome our very first guest, Emma! We discuss one of her favs, Ingrid Goes West, as well as talking about the dangers of stan-dom, Kate Winslet's rather large feet, and how Aubrey Plaza is the perfect mix of creepy and funny. 2021-06-151h 34internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 12 - ella enchantedThis week, we discuss an Elisa childhood fave, Ella Enchanted. We also discuss Janea's crazy dreams, how Seaspiracy was a terrible name for a documentary, and the importance of Waffle House to our society. 2021-06-081h 27internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 11 - 9 to 5Back to our regularly scheduled programming, this week we discuss 9-5, one of Janea's top three favorite movies. We also get into unpacking  subconscious gender biases, Elisa's childhood obsession with Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre, and research what you call people from The Netherlands. 2021-06-011h 31internet bestiesinternet bestiesinternet besties finals mini-sodeIt is finals week besties and we didn't want to leave you hanging, so here is a special edition mini-sode all about the early iconic television work of our most favorite bestie miss sarah catharine paulson. this was actually done in video format and can be found on youtube if that's your cup of tea but we've got your back if you just want a podcast too! hope you enjoy and we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming shortly. 2021-05-2537 mininternet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 10 - the life aquatic with steve zissouIn this episode, we discuss Janea’s first Wes Anderson film, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. We also discuss Janea’s prior history as an ensemble cast member in Annie, how Angelica Huston pronounces her name, and our obsession with the fact that Sarah Paulson listens to Indigo Girls.2021-05-181h 22internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 9 - dreamgirlsThis week, we continued on the music-based film train and discussed the 2006 musical-drama Dreamgirls. We start rather unhinged (as usual) but work our way through the film and even do a bit of serenading. This episode features conversations about Elisa's pending fame era, first dates, and a very enjoyable and insightful conversation about schizophrenia. Also, shoutout to Brittany for being a genius and suggesting we post the tiles we'll be watching before the actual show!2021-05-111h 36internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 8 - almost famousThis week, we discuss the incredible 70's rock music comedy-drama Almost Famous. In addition, we lament the fact that Stillwater is not a real band, explore Elisa's attraction to Dave from Alvin in the Chipmunks, and go on the record to say that neither of us has ever done cocaine!!!!!!2021-05-041h 39internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 7 - john tucker must dieOn episode 7, Janea shows Elisa the 2006 teen rom-com John Tucker Must Die, which Elisa thinks stole its plot from Mean Girls. Other topics discussed include misleading titles, the fact that we're recording literally during the Oscars, and how people of all genders are conditioned by the male gaze.2021-04-271h 31internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 6 - aquamarineThis week, we discuss one of Elisa's childhood favorites, Aquamarine (2006). We also remark on how this role was Emma Roberts' greatest career performance, how The Bee Gees have been co-opted for TikTok, and somehow end up talking a lot about animals. 2021-04-201h 34internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 5 - deadly illusionsWe take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to review "Deadly Illusions," a pile of hot garbage released on Netflix last month, which we struggle to make sense of in any way. We also discuss actors that play villains a little too convincingly, whether dissociative identity disorder is genetic, and our obsession with the forgotten 1999 TV show Jack & Jill. 2021-04-131h 35internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 4 - superbadIn this episode, Elisa tries to recover from two weeks ago by picking one of her favorite comedies, Superbad (2007). Other topics discussed are SAG card name changes, that weird thing where white actresses continue to be cast as Asian women (???), and the fact that Janea listens to Christmas music year-round. 2021-04-061h 34internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 3 - steel magnoliasOn episode 3, we discuss one of Janea's all-time faves, the 1989 classic "Steel Magnolias." We also talk about the first plays we ever saw as children, how Elisa used to be basically neighbors with Julia Roberts, and bid farewell to the late, great Jessica Walter. 2021-03-301h 32internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 2 - the diary of a teenage girlOn episode two, we talk about the 2015 film “The Diary of a Teenage Girl,” and Elisa realizes she picked kind of a downer. We also discuss Ally McBeal and her dancing baby, iconic Kristen Wiig SNL skits, and Christopher Meloni’s Jesus tattoo.2021-03-231h 35internet bestiesinternet bestiesepisode 1 - death becomes herOn our first episode, we discuss the legendary 1992 film "Death Becomes Her," starring Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis, and Isabella Rossellini. We also talk about golf cart driving certifications, the fact that Haley Joel Osment is (thankfully) alive and well, and the question we're all asking ourselves: is Wyoming a real place?2021-03-161h 34