Shows
Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons129. When Marriage Counseling Doesn't WorkCounseling is incredibly valuable. Jason and Lauren are huge proponents of marriage counseling, coaching and investing in marriage in a way that invites outside input from experts who can give great feedback to help couples grow in their connection. But it’s so common for couples to spend years in sessions and workshops and retreats without ever experiencing lasting breakthrough. Why? Because no matter how good the tools are, they don’t work if certain foundations aren’t in place.In this episode, pastors and coaches Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack some of the hidden reasons couples stay s...
2025-08-2034 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons128. The Long Game: Raising Children with Vision for AdulthoodIn this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Jason and Lauren share wisdom from their unique experience raising both adult children and toddlers. Drawing from years of hands-on parenting, they dive into the intentional strategies that shape children into healthy, resilient adults—especially in a world that's vastly different from the one they grew up in.Topics covered include:Why the goal is raising adults, not just managing childrenThe importance of skills like delayed gratification, perseverance, and planningHow to build family identity through phrases like “Vallottons tell the truth” and “Vallottons are helpers”Why today’...
2025-08-0630 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons127. A Day in the Life, #2 (A peek into a big disconnection in the Vallottons' marriage!)This episode is a vulnerable look into a recent real-life disconnection in the Vallotton's marriage! Every relationship experiences disconnection, but what matters is how we navigate back to each other. Hosts Jason and Lauren Vallotton share a recent experience where two weeks of limited quality time left them functioning as roommates rather than romantic partners.• Jason feeling a lack of nurturing and tenderness in our interactions• Lauren's problem-solving tendency sometimes coming across as harsh or critical• The difference between "disgust" and constructive feedback in communication• How personality differences (Enneagram Two vs Six) affect our relation...
2025-07-3031 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons126. Dating Someone with a Past Marriage and KidsCan love still feel new when someone has already been married and had children with someone else?In this vulnerable episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton respond to a heartfelt question from a listener navigating the early stages of dating a divorced man with kids. Together, they unpack the very real fears, griefs, and hopes that can rise up in blended beginnings.Whether you're walking this journey yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers practical wisdom, personal insight, and gentle clarity around some of the most tender questions:How do I reconcile the...
2025-07-2433 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons125. From Chaos to Clarity: How Couples Get Their Marriage Back on TrackIf your marriage feels chaotic, disconnected, or directionless… you’re not alone. In this episode, Jason and Lauren tackle what it looks like when couples are stuck in survival mode—no calendar, no plan, and no unity—and how to get back on the same team.Jay’s been walking with several couples who feel overwhelmed and out of sync, and in this candid conversation, the Vallottons offer a lifeline of practical tools and fresh perspective to help you move from chaos to clarity.In this episode, they unpack:Why chaos is a symptom...
2025-07-1625 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons124. Leading with Love: Dr. Henry Cloud on What It Really Means to Be a Godly HusbandWhat does it actually mean to lead your home like a man of God—and why does emotional connection matter just as much as spiritual authority?In this episode of Dates, Mates & Babies, Jason Vallotton sits down with the legendary Dr. Henry Cloud, bestselling author of Boundaries, to unpack the kind of leadership that builds trust, safety, and lasting love. From marriage and fatherhood to communication and connection, this conversation is packed with wisdom for men and women alike.Dr. Cloud shares a powerful framework for building a strong home: start with connection, then add bo...
2025-07-0952 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons123. Beyond Statistics: A Story of Choosing Life in the Face of Crisis & DiagnosisIn this powerful episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies, Jason and Lauren Vallotton welcome two courageous women: Kirsten Lapp, Executive Director of Northstate Care Clinic, and Lauren Hodgson, a mother of four who walked through an unexpected pregnancy and found hope in the face of overwhelming pressure. This is the second part to a conversation that began in episode 122.When Lauren discovered she was pregnant with her fourth child, it came as a complete shock. That shock deepened when she learned her baby had Down syndrome. Surrounded by doctors quoting grim statistics and...
2025-06-2528 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons122. A Conversation on Crisis Pregnancy with Kirsten Lapp of Northstate Care ClinicIn this powerful episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with Kirsten Lapp, Executive Director of Northstate Care Clinic, to unpack the emotional, spiritual, and practical realities surrounding crisis pregnancy. With empathy and clarity, Kirsten shares what women are really facing in these moments—and how we can all play a part in offering hope.In this episode, they discuss:What defines a crisis pregnancy and why many women find themselves in one The cultural and social pressures women face—from social media to the healthcare system Myths and misconceptions about women in the...
2025-06-1128 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons121. When Yes Means No: The High Cost of Self-Betrayal In this powerful episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the quiet, often unnoticed habit of self-betrayal—the moments when we say “yes” to others while saying “no” to ourselves. Whether it's to avoid conflict, gain approval, or protect a fragile connection, self-abandonment can masquerade as kindness while silently eroding trust, peace, and authenticity.Jason and Lauren unpack the mindsets that often drive this behavior—like the belief that it's selfish to have needs, or that disappointing others is dangerous. With wisdom, compassion, and real-life stories, they offer a roadmap back to honest boundaries, emotional integrity, and deeper connection wi...
2025-06-0437 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons120. Q&A (Breakups, Second Marriages & the Biblical Role of a Man)In this honest and heartfelt Q&A episode, Jason and Lauren answer your real relationship questions—from navigating breakups to leading well in marriage. Whether you're dating, newly married, or wrestling with relational roles, this episode will give you insight, encouragement, and a few powerful reframes.🔹 What does it mean for a man to promote his wife? Jason expands on his view that a man’s role is to provide, protect, and promote—and breaks down what it really means to elevate the people in your care.🔹 "How do I do a...
2025-05-2130 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons119. The Soul of the Home: A Conversation on Motherhood“Most of the world is built on the invisible labor of mothers.” In this heartfelt episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton turn their attention to the sacred, unseen work of motherhood. Picking up where their recent Fatherhood episode left off, they dive into the beauty, burden, and spiritual authority of moms—the ones who so often hold the soul of the home together.This isn’t a conversation about Pinterest lunches or parenting perfection. It’s an honest look at the emotional, mental, and spiritual load that mothers carry, and the divine calling woven into every unnoticed act of love.
2025-05-1423 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons118. The Role of a Man & the Rite of Passage Our Sons Are MissingIn this powerful conversation, Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack one of the deepest needs of our time: the restoration of godly masculinity. Drawing from personal stories, biblical wisdom, and their experience walking with men and families, they explore why a man’s role in the home matters more than ever—and how the next generation is suffering without clear markers of maturity and initiation.Whether you're a father, mentor, or just a man asking deeper questions about your purpose, this episode will stir your spirit and point you toward courageous leadership. It’s also an invitation to join t...
2025-05-0731 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons117. Emotionally Healthy Church Leadership"Your gifts might open doors in ministry, but your emotional health and family life will determine how long you can stay in the room."In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton dive into the crucial (and often overlooked) connection between emotional health, family life, and sustainable ministry. Ministry isn’t just about being gifted—it’s about being grounded. Whether you're a pastor, leader, or someone pursuing a call to serve, this conversation offers a timely reminder: who you are behind closed doors matters more than what you can do on stage.💛 Part 1: Emotional Health in...
2025-04-3024 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons116. How to Connect When it Hurts"Most people want to reconnect with their spouse—but they don’t know how to hit the mark when emotions are high. They either get defensive, spiral into shame, or shut down. Today, I want to help you learn how to truly connect when it matters most—especially when there’s pain involved."In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton break down what happens when emotional disconnection builds over time and how to move toward reconnection with empathy, responsibility, and compassion.This episode explores:Why disconnection happens: How unmet needs and unre...
2025-04-2431 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons115. Q&A (Dating with Kids, Conflict in Marriage, Divorce, Newborn Season Tips, Emotional Needs in Marriage)In this vulnerable and practical Q&A episode, Jason and Lauren tackle some of your most heartfelt questions—from dating dynamics and stepparenting to conflict in marriage and unmet emotional needs.With their trademark honesty and experience, they unpack the real stuff of relationships: fear, longing, love, and how to keep showing up even when it’s hard.In this episode, the Vallottons respond to questions like:“How do I take dating slow while discerning if I can handle marrying someone with kids?”“Why do I shut down in conflict, and how do I stay...
2025-04-1639 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons114. What Happens When a Woman is Forced into Fight or Flight Mode“She never wanted to fight her husband. But somewhere along the way, she stopped feeling safe—and started showing up in survival mode.”In this episode, Jason and Lauren unpack the emotional toll disconnection takes on a woman, especially when she's forced to lead, manage, and defend in her relationship. They explore what masculine energy looks like in a woman, why it’s often a trauma response—not rebellion—and how emotional safety (not control) is the key to restoring connection.You’ll hear:A real coaching story of a disconnected coupleHow a woman fe...
2025-04-0936 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons113. Spring Cleaning for the SoulSpring cleaning isn't just for your closet—what about the things we’ve been carrying in our hearts, homes, and relationships that need a reset?In this episode, Jason and Lauren take the idea of spring cleaning beyond junk drawers and cluttered cabinets and dive deep into the unseen spaces of our emotional, relational, and spiritual lives. From the bathroom cabinet that hasn’t been cleaned out in a year to the mental tabs we’ve left open way too long, they explore what it looks like to make space for peace, connection, and growth in every area.
2025-04-0328 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons111. Preparing to Launch: Equipping Your High Schooler for AdulthoodPreparing teenagers for adulthood might be the most crucial—and challenging—phase of parenthood. In this candid conversation, The Vallottons explore the essential transition from raising dependent children to launching capable, confident adults.When parents focus solely on creating a fun and carefree childhood, they risk raising young adults unprepared for real responsibilities. Drawing from their experiences launching three young adults (now 25, 22, and 20) while still raising younger children, Jason and Lauren share both their successes and the lessons they’ve learned through missteps.The key insight? Start early. Children who learn to contribute to family life f...
2025-03-1944 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons110. How Do I Know the Past in the Past?Everyone has a past, but when it comes to relationships, how can someone be sure it no longer has a hold on their present? Whether in dating or marriage, navigating past mistakes, previous relationships, or personal struggles can be complex. How much should be shared, and when does transparency build trust versus causing unnecessary pain?In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the balance between honesty and wisdom, discussing when full disclosure is valuable and when it may not be helpful. They break down how to recognize genuine healing, build trust, and have important conversations about...
2025-03-1235 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons108. A New Era of Breakthrough: Lauren's Message at the 2025 Bethel Church Prophetic ConferenceEpisode 108 is a special treat! In this episode, the Vallottons share a powerful message that Lauren preached on February 20, 2025, at the Bethel Church Prophetic Conference. Rooted in her personal journey of motherhood and the shifting landscape of 2025, Lauren believes this moment marks the dawn of a new era—one defined by breakthrough for followers of Christ.Drawing from the story of the Israelites’ journey to the Promised Land, Lauren unpacks how God invites us to trust, take risks, believe, hope, and contend for breakthrough—especially in the areas of our hearts where long-held desires have been w...
2025-02-261h 10Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons107. The Power of Friendship: Strengthening Marriages and Families Through Intentional ConnectionsIn this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore how friendships impact marriage, parenting, and relational health. While friendships often take a backseat to family life, they are crucial in shaping emotional well-being and offering support.As life gets busier with marriage and parenting, friendships are often neglected. However, research shows that maintaining strong friendships improves marital satisfaction and reduces parenting stress. Jason and Lauren discuss why intentional friendships matter and how to build a supportive community.Discussion Points:Do Your Friendships Support or...
2025-02-1736 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons106. Blending Well: Stories and Strategies for Blended Family SuccessBlending a family is both rewarding and challenging, requiring intentionality, patience, and a strong foundation. In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Lauren and Jason dive into the key strategies for creating a thriving blended family.They discuss the importance of building trust with stepchildren, emphasizing that the biological parent should take the lead in discipline while the stepparent focuses on connection. They explore how to find your lane—leaning into natural strengths to foster strong relationships with the kids.Common challenges in blended families are also ad...
2025-02-1229 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons104. The Questions We’re Too Scared to Ask, Part 1Description:Some questions feel too big, too scary, or too painful to ask out loud—especially in marriage. But avoiding them doesn’t make them disappear. In this episode, the Vallotton's tackle the hardest, unspoken questions that can haunt relationships.Jason and Lauren dive into topics like:✅ Have we fallen out of love or are we just stuck in a rut?✅ What if I’m not attracted to my partner anymore?✅ Is it normal to feel lonely in my marriage?✅ Can we ever repair the damage from past betrayals?If you've ev...
2025-01-2935 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons103. What Story Do You Want Your Kids to Tell About Love?In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Lauren and Jason dive into one of the most profound questions parents face: What story do we want our kids to tell about love? Together, they unpack the meaning of true love, exploring how it can be demonstrated in everyday life and in relationships within the home.Topics CoveredWhat is love and what is it not?We have love because it was given to us. It doesn’t start with us, it starts with God.Love is a powerful choice. Love is...
2025-01-2226 minDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons102. Motherhood in Crisis: Erica Komisar on Raising Mentally and Emotionally Healthy KidsIn today’s episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, hosts Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with renowned psychoanalyst and author Erica Komisar to explore the profound challenges and rewards of parenting. Erica, a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), brings years of expertise in child development and the psychological aspects of motherhood and fatherhood. She has authored two insightful books:Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years MattersChicken Little: The Sky Isn’t FallingIn this conversation, Erica highlights the crucial role emotional attachment plays in a child's development, particularly during the...
2025-01-1653 min