Shows
System Mastery299 - Bleeding HeartWe're hard at work on our giant pile of weird old box sets, and that means it's time for Bleeding Heart, a game that Jon assures me is loosely based on something called the Corman Poe film era of the mid-sixties, and he's a total horror nerd so I gotta go with him on this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2025-04-011h 01System Mastery293 - Alas VegasThis is a little recent for our usual stuff, but Jon was really interested after the Fastlane review to keep looking at games that utilize classic casino games as RPG randomizers, and this one's a doozy! Combining Blackjack and Tarot stuff, no less! Right in Jon's very wheelhouse. The game is neat too! There's a ton in here, it's definitely one of those big rocks that rolled down a Kickstarter success story and accumulated content as it went, so we made some calls on what to focus on that we'll explain within. At the end of the day, this...2025-01-091h 28
Movie MasteryThe Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue (1998)Special guest Taylor Moore joins us to discuss an animated film that truly nobody asked for and that wastes an all star voice cast on the most direct-to-video sequel you could imagine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2024-11-011h 30System Mastery286 - Orkworld (Crunch)Oh, oh no. We thought all the worst stuff was going to be in the fluff and descriptive section. We were wrong. If you're a fan of angry Jef and Jon, well, you probably already noticed the 84 minute runtime of the episode and got your hopes up, correctly. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2024-09-271h 26
Expounded Universe266 - Rogue Planet WrapupAll your questions answered! All our thoughts explained! And of course the next book, announced! I, uhhh, I let Jon pick again. I will always vote for the chaos option given the choice, you know this. What horrors are we due? You'll soon find out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2023-10-261h 23
Movie MasterySir Billi (2012)The final film from beloved actor Sean Connery and the first feature length animated film from Scotland. It is also so bafflingly terrible that Jon kind of lost his mind while trying to review it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2023-05-121h 37System Mastery251 - Heroic VisionsJon's special blend of DrivethruRPG search criteria has kicked us up a truly interesting and unusual blend of superheroes, afrofuturism, strong Christian undertones, and Poser art that is definitely connected to a webcomic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2023-05-041h 40Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 217 – Mohs’ Tavern
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2022/07/expounded-universe-217-mohs-tavern.mp3
A man with a gun bursts through the door! And then things get slapstick, confusing, slapstick again, a little weird, maudlin for a second, really really confusing, and finally Jon and Jef fight for like 10 minutes! What an episode!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2022-07-1551 minSystem MasterySystem Mastery 214 – Mystic Forces
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/11/system-mastery-214-mystic-forces.mp3
Heck yeah, one of those weird games so little known I couldn’t GIS the cover and had to take a picture of our copy! Mystic Forces is a 2000 RPG about light vs. darkness featuring some very unique ideas (though Jon has some ideas as to where a lot of them are coming from), and a world that doesn’t have elves, dwarves, or even humans. Are they contained in a probably somewhat too complicated engine? Well yeah, obviously.
Learn more about your ad choice...2021-11-301h 21Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe Special Edition – The Road to Sham-Bone-La
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/08/expounded-universe-special-edition-sham-bone-la-1.mp3
Jon’s out of town but Jef and Claire are making content now? And holy cow is this ever some content warning content. Instead of trying to catch up on Witch’s Canyon, Claire provides some classic Supernatural fanfic as a springboard for a rousing discussion on fic, pairings, Wincest (that’s capitalized right) and a lot more. We won’t blame you if you sit this one out but come on you know you’re not gonna. Just don’t listen on work speakers.
The Fic in Question...2021-08-131h 24Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 178 – Werewolf Out There, Juliet
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/07/expounded-universe-178-werewolf-out-there-juliet.mp3
Jon seems fairly confident that this is all right on track, but as far as I can tell this book so far is like a lawnmower that won’t start. But hey, let’s pull the cord again!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2021-07-161h 05System MasterySystem Mastery 204 – Engel
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/07/system-mastery-204-engel.mp3
Well hey, surprise OGL! Nothing on the cover, and so when Jon selected this old Sword & Sorcery product to take home and started reading, he was suddenly (after 190 some pages of fluff) shocked to see that 3.x material. So what is this? Well it’s the far future and you play as Latin-speaking angel children who fight giant bugs. OR DO YOU?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2021-07-141h 11Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 175 – The Old Fuckin’ Hole
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2021/06/expounded-universe-175-the-big-fuckin-hole.mp3
What the hell is this. Stock photo of first season Ackles and Padalecki, photoshopped into Joshua Tree? Jon is grabbing the reins and there’s nothing we can do about it now. Join us on a brand new adventure, as the Winchester Boys encounter a 40-year ghost story in a tiny Arizona town where a new mall is being built. Will they finally make out? Yes. I personally guarantee this is the book where the Winchesters make out. I’ll guarantee whatever for about 5 bucks.
Learn mor...2021-06-1759 min
Movie MasteryMovie Mastery – The Punisher (1989)
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/09/movie-mastery-the-punisher-1989.mp3
At the same time that Batman was set to make his dark entrance onto the big screen; Marvel was looking to put up their own brooding man with no super powers. But this movie has an R rating so you know it fucks.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-09-051h 04Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 143 – Look Maw, No Hans
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/09/expounded-universe-143-look-maw-no-hans.mp3
Okay first of all this is chapters 15-17. Jef is easily confused. Han, Chewie and Kyp mount a daring escape while Leia keeps track of Luke’s new Jedi candidates, and her own kids too. Plus an Imperial surprise!
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https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/expounded-universe-142-bespin-rawwks.mp3
The time has come to meet Jedi candidate number two! Streen is a classic “psychic trying to find quiet in a world full of noisy thinkers” archetype, and to get him, we have to go to Bespin. Why? Because it was in a movie once, duh. Meanwhile, Han just keeps riding around in mining carts, and Leia… Leias.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-08-2852 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 141 – Blob and Weave
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/expounded-universe-141-blob-and-weave.mp3
Lando is off on a quest to investigate a gambler. He will have to go to a gambling place where there is gambling. Hey, what do we know about this guy again? Also Leia gets worse and then gets an awakening, and Han starts a little riot.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-08-141h 01Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 140 – Kyp Off the Old Block
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/expounded-universe-140-a-kyp-off-the-old-block.mp3
Who wants to meet Kyp Durron? No one? Too bad! Also Luke faces Gantoris’ lethal “tests” while Lando shows up, hat in hand, hoping for a handout of something to do in one of these books for once.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-08-041h 07Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 139 – You Can Gantoris, Or You Can Gantorthat
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Aw shoot last week we thought we got all the boring intro chapters, but here we are dealing with Leia’s story startup for the episode! Should have guessed! Anyway, Han has crashed, Luke has a plan, and Leia… is rich. Why do they keep doing that?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-07-311h 10Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 138 – Going Down to Kessel, Going to Have Myself a Mine
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You knew we’d cover one of this guy’s books eventually, and here we are! This trilogy features the introductions of known series players like Nataasi Daala and Kyp “White Space Privilege” Durron. We’re still in a place setting stage here, but chills, thrills, and silliness is soon to abound, I promise!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-07-2256 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 137 – Only Hooles Rush In
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Chills, thrills, spills, and a last minute rescue! Oh the joy of it! Every foreshadow comes dramatically home to roost and we’re done!
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Tash goes to Smada’s castle to confront that gross old Hutt! Then they escape on a skimboard (no pads this time!) and learn a dark secret. It’s so scary!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-07-0351 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 135 – Slurpin’ the Dirt
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/expounded-universe-135-slurpin-the-dirt.mp3
The GANKS disappeared all of a sudden, and then Zak went out on his cool skimboard (but remembered to wear his awesome pads) while Tash had a spooky adventure! Slurp Slurp!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-06-2458 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 134 – Hey, That’s Smada for You
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/06/expounded-universe-134-hey-thats-smada-for-you.mp3
It was GANKS that shoved our heroes against a wall! And the chapter climaxes keep on rolling, as we meet some familiar heroes, learn about ship maintenance, and go to an Enzeen sleepover.
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Prepare yourselves for true horror, as we dive into the spooky world of Galaxy of Fear, the tween terror series that wasn’t a cashing in on Goosebumps being a thing. Not at all.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-06-101h 02Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 132 – Leviathor Ragnarok
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/expounded-universe-132-leviathor-ragnarok.mp3
Boy howdy, that was a lot of fun. We got whales, pirate captains, valleys of giant oysters, and an unsurprising revelation about the might Trioculus, all wrapped into a quick little package. Enjoy! Note that this was a super short book and we’re not going to be doing a wrap up on it. We’ll just be taking a quick week off while Jef tries like crazy to source two copies of an old Star Wars book while all the bookstores are shut down.
Lea...2020-05-271h 01Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 131 – Dark Greetings
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/expounded-universe-131-dark-greetings.mp3
Welcome to an Expanded Universe special edition! This book is too short for a full season so we’re making a little snack out of it. But boy are we ever thrilled to be in the exciting world of Star Wars for kids, where everything is taken at face value and the empire knows good and full well they’re the bad guys.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-05-2356 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 130 – The End of Star’s End
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/expounded-universe-130-the-end-of-stars-end.mp3
You know how these wrap up episodes go! We talk about what we liked and didn’t like, then we answer a million listener questions and announce the next book! It’s been 10 seasons now, come on!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-05-1359 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 129 – The Arc of Imprisonment
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/expounded-universe-129-the-arc-of-imprisonment.mp3
And just like that, we’re done. But dang what a way to go. This is exciting in a way these Star Wars books rarely seem to want to shoot for, perfectly content to just kill everyone, blow up the building, and flip everyone off on the way out.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-05-0858 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 128 – He’s Dead I Rekkon
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/expounded-universe-128-hes-dead-i-rekkon.mp3
A daring space escape and a murder… a murder most foul. Honestly this space scene is one of the coolest ones we’ve seen in a book so far, and it’s just the Falcon, a bad guy, and hundreds of acres of grain.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-04-281h 05Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 127 – Lament My Wookie
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/expounded-universe-127-lament-my-wookie.mp3
Our lovable smuggler team (and their droid named after balls) find their way to the mighty agriplanet to continue the mission! We get to meet Rekkon, the coolest dude we’ve seen in a while, Torm, the obvious traitor, Atuarre and Pakka (cats that don’t really get lines, don’t worry about it). Also Chewie is about as cool here as he’ll ever be. All in all, good times!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-04-241h 06Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 126 – What’s Up, Doc
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/expounded-universe-126-whats-up-doc-1.mp3
Han and Chewie must effect a sneaky escape from Etti IV and find an old friend, but we have a lot of questions.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-04-1557 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 125 – Forest Balls
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Finally the 70s kick up something interesting! It’s Han Solo at Star’s End, a book that predates Empire Strikes Back! We’re gonna be reading all about the wild adventures of pre-Rebellion Han and Chewie, and literally no one else you’ve ever heard of. So exciting.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-04-1056 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 124 – More of a Crucible
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/expounded-universe-124-more-of-a-crucible.mp3
As is tradition, we wrap up. We discuss what we liked and didn’t like, if we’d recommend the book in general, and so on. Eventually when we run out of that stuff we answer listener questions for a while and then announce the next book. WHICH WE DO!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-03-301h 02Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 123 – Hot Golden Showers… of Force
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/expounded-universe-123-hot-golden-showers-of-force-1.mp3
Okay, let’s bring her home. The entire EU that is, because this is the end. The last of it. Will Luke, Leia and Han die in the monolith? Do the Qrephs somehow win despite being the dumbest morons since Hethrir? I think you know these answers already, but hey, listen on!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-03-271h 12Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 122 – Powerbodies by Jake
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/expounded-universe-122-powerbodies-by-jake.mp3
As boilerplate as the Qrephs have turned out to be, Vestara Khai is a straight up delight. She’s very genre savvy and knows to be completely terrified of Luke and Leia and their terrifying “Light Side” progeny. Who are earning that fear this episode as we spend most of it in the perspective of a villain just watching the old Star Wars heroes rip through defenses like butter.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-03-1754 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 121 – Mad About Goo
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Luke and Leia engage in some recreational muggle-dumping before looking for any excuse at all to murder Mandalorians (that’s how the light side works) while Han runs around behind Barduun/Jhonus Raam and his whole bag of crazy situation. Wackiness ensues.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-03-131h 01Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 120 – And it turned into a Barduun Blitz
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Finally, they stop playing sabacc! After, you know, a whole chapter of them playing sabacc again. Meanwhile the smartest brothers in the universe continue their extremely convincing impression of being horny bumbling dumbfucks. So believable, these smart dudes!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-03-0357 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 119 – To The Pain
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/expounded-universe-119-to-the-pain.mp3
Well, this certainly got way bigger after the last episode? Remember how last time it was Han playing cards with the Qrephs? Well now there’s more people at the table! Remember how last time Ben and Lando spent a bunch of time looking at a floating D8 in space? Well now there’s more people there! Hooray!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-02-2857 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 118 – Pinnace Envy
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/expounded-universe-118-pinnace-envy.mp3
A classic tradition of Star Wars EU books return, as Benny Skywalker spends a whole-ass chapter talkin to Lando about a big D8 they found a picture of. Meanwhile, Luke and Leia escape the Ormni under cover of broad daylight in the largest pinnace in town!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-02-2050 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 117 – The Beast with Two Sabaccs
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Whoa, halfway point already? Feels like we’re just getting started! Anyhow, Han is tied to a chair so he can play more sabacc. It’s not all bad though, because he’s playing with the dumbest geniuses in the galaxy, the Qreph brothers! Meanwhiler Luke and Leia sneak around a mining ship and dodge a sith with a mysterious new name!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-02-151h 00Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 116 – Stake Out
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I’m sure the plan here was intentional, that two chapters in a row of Skywalkers sitting in spaceships watching things happening “rhymed” or something. Really, the thing that’s fascinating is this new Tahiri character. Who the heck is this lady with a Majin W on her face? Well, let’s find out. And also let’s finally meet Ben Skywalker.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-02-0555 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 115 – Big Money Blastas
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/expounded-universe-115-big-money-blastas.mp3
If you were thinking “boy oh boy I sure hope we get to see some classic Expanded Universe sabacc games today” then I have great news for you. If, however, you were hoping to finally revisit our brainy blue bad guys, well sadly, I also have great news for you.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-02-0155 minSystem MasteryDream Park – System Mastery 166
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This has been on Jon’s to-get list for most of the time we’ve made the show, and who should suddenly show up with a copy of the thing but our network head? He always gets us the best stuff. Dream Park has a PEDIGREE. Based on a Larry Niven/Steven Barnes sci-fi novel series and written by Mike Pondsmith for Talsorian, there’s a lot of promise here. Does it stick the landing? Well, come on it, won’t you?
Learn more about your ad...2020-01-291h 17Movie MasteryIn Theaters Now – Cats
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You did it. You made us go see Cats. I hope you’re proud of yourselves. Now reality has lost all meaning and Jon can’t seem to stop introducing himself as Jauntypine the Podcast Cat.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-01-241h 24Expounded UniverseExpounded Universe 114 – Bacta Streets Back, All Right
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/expounded-universe-114-bacta-streets-back-all-right.mp3r
Into every Star Wars book review a little rain must fall, and here it comes. At least we learn some surprising Dena Yus secrets, but boy do they come at the cost of wheels a-spinnin. Han has a plan, my friends. Stay fresh, cheese bags.
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This book continues to baffle our wary expectations, as a chapter begins with a wordy explanation of how one of Lando’s dumb mining operations works and then ends about SOMETHING ELSE! All that and Luke shows up!
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We meet the villains! There’s two of these floaty dorks and boy oh boy do we have a big reveal about them. They’re gonna threaten Lando for a bit, and then Luke will meet a Sullustan and talk about Sullustan sullustuff for a while.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2020-01-0756 minExpounded UniverseExpounded Universe 111 – You Know, Forest Poles
https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/expounded-universe-111-you-know-forest-poles.mp3
So in this book, Jaina Solo is 36 years old. In case you were curious how far along in the timeline we’re dealing with, this one is set around roughly 45 ABY (I’m not using that new one and you can’t make me). Crucible is the last book published as an Expanded Universe title before the Legends swap took place, and so far it feels like that was well understood as the book took shape.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoice2020-01-031h 04Expounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 110 – Plant X-Plainedhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/expounded-universe-110-planet-x-plained.mp3
The wrap-up, listener questions, and the announcement of the next book. Thankfully our mission was not continuing.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-12-201h 10Expounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 109 – Quatu the Watcherhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/expounded-universe-109-quatu-the-watcher.mp3
As we expected, the final chapters of this book break down pretty simply. A satisfying if somewhat short conclusion, along with a little more Worferine (which is our preferred ship name for the Worf/Wolverine bromance abrewin’).
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-12-1051 minExpounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 108 – There Are FOUR CLAWShttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/expounded-universe-108-there-are-four-claws.mp3
Wait, seriously? Are we this close to done? It seems like the part where anything cool happens didn’t happen. Oh well, we’re in wrap up mode, and if you were Patton Oswalt or something, all wanting to finally see the moment where Xavier and Picard virtually meet, well that’s in here, at least.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-12-061h 05Expounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 107 – A Colossus Lapse in Judgementhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/expounded-universe-107-a-colossus-lapse-in-judgement.mp3
At this point I’m starting to long for the extreme action of a mid-season TNG episode or one of those really wordy Bendis X-Men issues. Sure, there’s stuff going on, but the pace!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-11-271h 03Expounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 106 – Sovar, So Goodhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/expounded-universe-106-sovar-so-good.mp3
Shadowcat enters and promptly leaves the fray! Data turns out to be some sort of alarming mechano-man! And Crusher has a dumb holodeck plan! It’s all going beautifully here.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-11-2259 minExpounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 105 – I Sure Hope Troi’s Okayhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/expounded-universe-105-i-sure-hope-trois-okay.mp3
The fight rages on! So much transporting and phaser fighting and descriptions of the super cool powers of two of the definitely coolest X-Men, Banshee and… uhhh well Archangel. In a series of hallways.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-11-131h 05Expounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 104 – Don’t Be Sad, Johttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/11/expounded-universe-104-dont-be-sad-jo.mp3
Holy cow the villains! We have villains! They’re improbably stereotypical (gross monsters called the Draa’kon that kill each other for failure? Come the fuck on), but we sure did finally get to see them!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-11-081h 03Expounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 103 – Shadowcatastrophehttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/10/expounded-universe-103-shadowcatastrophe.mp3
Mysterious aliens arrive and start messing with our transformed friends on Xhaldia! Meanwhile Shadowcat is apparently just wandering through the walls of the Enterprise because X-Men, like wizards, have no sense of right and wrong.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-10-301h 00Expounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 102 – Just call me Archangel of the Morning, Babyhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/10/expounded-universe-102-just-call-me-archangel-of-the-morning-baby.mp3
The pride and craftsmanship our author takes in the simple act of a “Wolverine drinks some prune juice” gag is more obvious and satisfactory than any sense of accomplishment either of us has ever felt. And we also wrote a book! Full of gags! Anyway, this time a whole lot of nothing happens! Hope you like nothing!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices2019-10-2556 minExpounded UniverseX-pounded Universe 101 – Geordi THE Forgehttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2019/10/expounded-universe-101-its-geordi-the-forge.mp3
The X-Trek revolution commences! Erid and his erstwhile mutant family take to the hills and then take over a slum, while … well Dr. Crusher is taking cursory looks at whatever’s up with Archangel. Also Worf and Wolverine fight Turricans and Axelays in the holodeck (just kidding, those are video games).
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Well last week Picard met the X-Men while Erid met his collection of weird new mutant Xhaldian friends. This week Picard meets Storm specifically while Erid meets the more revolution-inclined among the Xhaldians. Also Geordi and Nightcrawler, just pallin’ around.
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Picard meets the X-Men who are all acting like they just got their powers today, while Erid is shipped to a private facility and starts assembling the Planet X-Men.
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Oh goddammit who let Jon pick the book? It was me? Shoot, complaint withdrawn. YES! It’s time to see what the X-Men and the TNG crew (and Worf if he’s into it) can do together! This is going to be ridiculous.
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The somewhat less thrilling epilogue. Once we’re all done digging our way through Vector Prime, it’s time to answer a surprisingly large amount of listener questions! And we do exactly that. Then, just when you think it can’t get more exciting, it does, as we announce the next book! What will it be? Well, you’re about an hour from that answer.
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Well, after last week with Jef failing to figure out what the heck any of this is using just the rule book, can Jon save the day? Will his comprehensive notes about the story book explain everything? Spoiler alert, no.
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The thrilling conclusion! Oh… hold on actually there’s apparently two chapters left? With eight pages in them total? What’s happening back here? Anyway the war rages on til some dramatic stuff definitely happens!
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Jef is stuck in last week, but the show goes on! The post battle conversations are equal parts thrilling and samey, and someone forgot to watch the twins, so off they go again!
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Today it’s the Solo family(and Kyp) facing off against the might of the big bad Vong, as Prefect Da’Gara brings his fight directly to the doorstep of Lando’s Folly.
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Oh boy, Luke’s into it now. Ready for another chapter of him taking all day to do something he couldn’t possibly do forever? It’s here! All that and the long-earned rest of a legend on today’s episode.
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As they inevitably must do, the good guys and bad guys finally begin to converge. Yomin straps on all his gooptech while Han encounters some surprisingly political albinos.
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A chapter focusing on Kyp Durron being a pompous douchebag lost in his own little world? This book just keeps giving us gifts. Also Dani remains a badass and Han sputters and blutters or whatever.
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It’s sort of nice to have the main characters compressed into a single narr… hey wait a minute this the same as last time! Indeed, the Yuuzhan Vong continue to rampage around murdering everyone while the Skywalker gang doodles around at a theme park ride. Will this book ever get back on track?
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It’s sort of nice to have all the boring main characters condensed into a single wish fulfillment narrative while the Vong go about the wet gooey business of murdering scientists, so at least this is a satisfying couple of chapters! Also we find out what kind of couch there was in the TIE Advance.
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Uhhh, I guess the Vong continue to get real? Even though our main character gang has changed planets, it still feels like they’re in prep mode instead of getting on with it, but at least we get to learn about even more of Yomin Carr’s gross menagerie of single-purpose pain tools.
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The Vong plot gets real as their first ships enter the regular type galaxy and go all octopus ham on an ice planet. Meanwhile Anakin and Jacen have some serious discussions while Chewie gets pretty slapstick with a senator.
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Luke and Jacen march headlong into a council meeting and you know what that means… it’s time to learn a bunch of new Star Wars names! Yay, our favorite pastime! Meanwhile, Nom Anor is a hilarious dick, Leia gets grumpy, and we find out what Lando’s latest weird job is. That dude always has a weird job.
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The time of the New Jedi Order is upon us as the Yuuzhan Vong set their wheels in motion! We finally meet Legends regular Mara Jade, plus newcomers like Wurth Skidder and Yomin Carr! It’s the dawn of a new horrible age!
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It’s the customary wrap up ep, yep! We talk the arching themes of the book, answer your questions, and finally, as always, announce the NEXT BOOK! Fire up your Amazon if you’re planning to read along!
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The curtain drops. What has changed? What threats face us at the end of all chapters? What hath Hambly wrought? Does this book have the most hilariously unearned coincidence at the end of it at all time? (yes)
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A mysterious new player enters the book in the 11th hour! I don’t want to spoil it for you so I’ll just do that in the episode title. Also Luke and Leia… finally meet? This can’t be right.
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Luke and Leia both have dreams in this episode. If you were curious about what kind of book we’re reading, it’s the kind where both main characters have dreams during the same chapter.
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These books have a tendency to flip into gear after spending some time on wheel spinny world building, but this one is definitely taking a little longer to turn over. Sure, Luke and Leia have basically switched places now, and Threepio and Artoo are just jumping from one spaceship to the next, but still! Go faster, book!
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Stuff happened this time, so I guess this is just that kind of book that wants to chill for a while before doing anything.
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Han arrives on the planet Nim Drovis and…Okay, now we know what’s going on. Han is wandering around for basically no reason while Threepio tapes bells to his head and meets a bat. Luke and Leia ponder. Oh god they won’t stop pondering.
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Han arrives on the planet Nim Drovis and… I dunno, I guess he meets a giant flower or something. If this book has a point I’d love to see it.
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With Jef still recovering in the hospital, Jon turns to fan-favorite guest Claire to join in and help review this RPG based on a comic book. It promises two things up front and delivers on none of it. Booo.
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This week’s review is a little different as we go off from the normal format and Jon picks the movie. It’s a film so insidious that it has haunted his very existence for the past several months and it’s time he inflicted it on other people. Enjoy this double length episode.
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A Christmas movie from Jon’s past comes back to haunt Jef. This fever dream of a movie with no budget and a big name cast will meander around for about a half hour’s worth of content. Just like we do!
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Whoa, zombies have entered the building! They’re coming in! Hold on, is that a quote from a horror movie or something? I should ask Jon. In the meantime, here’s some Star Wars zombie times!
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Did Jef and Jon enjoy this movies subtle themes? Or did they find the entire thing to be sub par? One things for sure, watch this movie with sub-titles on. SUB JOKES!
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A long long time after the cantina, on a planet far, far away from the cantina, a new story is unfolding. It’s the Dr. Evazan and Ponda Baba show, and it’s… a whole big Dr. Frankenstein thing? Star Wars gets extra gothic on today’s exciting episode. Plus, Jon’s childhood!
Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, systemmastery@gmail.com.
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Longtime friend of the show and fan-favorite guest Claire comes by to discuss Mekton Zeta with Jon, who knows nothing whatsoever about your precious animes. This episode sadly concludes Jef’s paternity leave, so we’re afraid he’ll be back next time.
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Once again, Jon is joined by Quinn and Josette from the Swallows of the South podcast to provide our thoughts on Deadpool 2. Though mostly it’s our thoughts on weird mouth sounds and talking like a baby.
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Though weary and facing insurmountable odds, our heroes manage to put together a podcast this week. Jef is baby-tired and Jon is slowly turning into pure mucous. However, we still manage to bring you the tale of a bartender that doesn’t like droids but then maybe does. Woooo!
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Jon’s pretty grumpy from the word go in the tale of the “Tonnika Twins” that contains less than 2% of the following ingredients: Tonnika Twins. Timothy Zahn weaves us one of his usual “badass warriors do badass things because of their tactical genius and cool honor code” narratives, with a weirdly brief stopover to recite the events of the Cantina more or less verbatim. Meet the Mistryl Shadow Guard!
Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, systemmastery@gmail.com.
Learn m...2018-04-0358 minMovie MasteryIn Theaters Now – It (2017)
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Something evil is haunting the town of Derry, Maine. It’s a clown that really likes fucking with the protagonists. Can Jon overcome his love of the original Tim Curry It? Can Jef overcome the fact that he hates horror movies and movies in general? Only one way to find out.
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It’s our three year anniversary here at System Mastery! Jon and Jef entered the bonds of holy podcastimony in August of 2013 and it’s been wonderful ever since, except for those times we’ve cheated with One Shot. As per tradition, every 25 episodes it’s D&D time, and episode 75 is no exception as we take a long hard look at the classic 2nd edition of AD&D. You know the one, it’s got all that bad blue art of nothing in particular and that weird picture of a...2016-08-161h 15System MasteryRifts Parts 1 – System Mastery 70https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/system-mastery-70-rifts-part-1.mp3
We hope you’re as ready for this as we are. After 70 episodes, it’s time to review the game that somehow started both of us down the path that ultimately led to System Mastery existing at all. Rifts was the first game for both teenage Jef and teenage Jon, and somehow we grew into almost functional adults anyway! We can’t even begin to cram everything crazy about this book into one episode, so watch this space in two weeks for Part 2.
Learn more about you...2016-05-241h 07System MasteryNot Exactly 7th Sea – System Mastery 66https://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/system-mastery-66-7th-sea.mp3
April Fools! This is really more about an hour of digressions. People keep asking what the point is, so here’s the point of that. Actually have you ever seen the movie “The Point?” That was weird, right? Just that wobbly 70s line-art cartoon style you see in stuff like Pink Panther and occasional sex-ed cartoons, and a bunch of stuff designed to encourage you to think for yourself. Sorta boring, honestly. So yeah, the basic concept behind the April Fools joke was… y’know what I’ve noticed over the pa...2016-04-0157 minSystem MasterySpace 1889 – System Mastery 42
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System Mastery 42- Space 1889
Craving high adventure in an age of zeppelins, Victoriana, and space fantasy? Keep looking then, because what we have here is boring. This week Jef and Jon take a tour of the Earth if the sun also never set on the British Empire on Venus and Mars. Is the art horrifying? Of course. Is the whole thing vaguely racist? Naturally!
Editor’s note: Proof of horrifying art included. Check out that cartilaginous Robert Smith in a ripped bodice. That’s basi...2015-04-281h 01System MasteryVanishing Point – System Mastery 35
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System Mastery 35 – Vanishing Point
If you’ve read any Neil Gaiman or just been stuck in line at a convention behind steampunk people, you’re all set for Vanishing Point. It’s a neat little RPG about visiting a planet shaped like a brain, populated by weirdos classified by insanities, and choked full of more British flavor than a steak and kidney pie.
Let us know what you thought of Vanishing Point in the comments! Have a book you’d us to cover? Let us know about...2015-01-231h 03