Shows
Silent Grief PodcastEpisode 39 | Post-Mother's Day and ways to cope as grieving parentsMother's Day is an especially hard time of year for grieving parents. The day that typically celebrates mothers is, for some, a reminder that they no longer have a child to celebrate them as their mother. Many mothers struggle just to make it through Mother's Day because of all the emotions that well up. If you feel that way, you are not alone. Clara breaks down what helps her during Mother's Day and how she helps keep her son's memory alive. Find us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/SilentGriefSupporthttps://www.facebook.com/jim...
2025-05-1319 minSilent Grief PodcastEpisode 33 | How to find some closure after losing a child to suicideThe loss of a child is a pain no parent should ever have to endure. When that loss is due to suicide, the grief can be even more complex, layered with guilt, confusion, and unanswered questions. We explore the difficult path towards finding closure, discussing the importance of acknowledging complicated emotions, seeking support, and honoring the memory of their child.This isn't about "getting over" the loss, but about finding a way to live with it, to heal, and to eventually find peace. Join Clara and Jimmy as they offer their insights, experiences, and hard-won wisdom in the ho...
2025-02-1123 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 249 | The End Is NearHey listeners! After over half a decade of podcasting, we've decided to make some big changes in life. We'll be making a big shift in our focus, so tune in to hear what we'll be up to and why we decided to wind the podcast down. We're so grateful to everyone who has listened to us for the past five years. Thank you isn't adequate to show our appreciation for you!Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://ww...
2023-06-0132 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 248 | Sifting Through Mental Illness and ScamsTrauma has a very difficult effect on survivors. Unfortunately there are scammers too. We have to distinguish between people who suffer with mental illness and people who are scammers. The former need us to point them to good resources and the latter need blocked. Sometimes it's very difficult to distinguish. In this episode we use real examples.Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dpSupport us on Pa...
2023-05-2532 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 247| Whistleblower Exposes ICC "Cult" That Ignored Abuse for DecadesMeet Chele Roland, the whistleblower who exposed the International Churches of Christ for decades of abuse cover-ups. After podcasting about her own abuse on WhaTheFlok podcast, Chele began getting all kinds of messages from survivors of abuse from the International Churches of Christ. The ICOC/ICC, known as "The Boston Movement," put a huge emphasis on recruiting "disciples" who were personally responsible for producing large numbers of converts to Christianity.The rules were very strict and Chele was one of the people responsible for producing converts. Her story of sexual abuse is tied to the ICOC/ICC and...
2023-05-181h 21The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 246 | Lives Are Spared Because of You Listeners!A little over a month ago we had an episode on helping our friend in Haiti purchase a motorcycle so that he could deliver food, water, and medicine to desperate people. Not only did we meet our goal, but we actually surpassed it with enough money to purchase more food and medicine. In a world with lots of bad news, we wanted to share some good. We legitimately cannot thank you all enough. Our dear friend Julien is SO happy and has been giving daily updates. Thank you to our faithful listeners who donated, prayed, and just offered support...
2023-05-1127 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 245 | Change Your Attitude Change Your OutcomeWe saw a recent video by Steve Harvey about the importance of stopping negative self-talk. It was so powerful, and we wanted to share how important it is to have a proper attitude to change the outcome of our lives. Our talk, both negative and positive, really can determine the direction our lives will take.Steve Harvey Video:https://youtu.be/yWDo-y-tK7kJimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm...
2023-05-0432 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 244 | What To Do About Non-Reportable Instances of AbuseNot everything is reportable when it comes to abuse. So many people feel stuck because they don't know what to do when they cannot report to police. Should you tell anyone? Who should you tell? What do you tell them? Find out in this episode.Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dpSupport us on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/SpeakingOutFind us on Fa...
2023-04-2730 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 243| People Defending James MacDonaldJames MacDonald was recently arrested for felony charges of assault by means likely to produce great bodily injury. MacDonald beat up a 59 year old woman and sent her to the hospital when there was a small fender bender. People have been defending Mr. MadDonald, saying that he was framed, he's innocent until proven guilty, and that we need to focus on stories of grace and not highlight felony crimes.This episode highlights those remarks so that we can better understand how churches are likely to respond to abuse allegations.Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My...
2023-04-2035 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEdpisode 242| Dalai Lama's Pathetic ApologyWhy in the world did the Dalai Lama ask a young boy to suck his tongue? The fact that this was called out so publicly is a great sign that people are fed up with people acting creepy toward our young children. In this episode we talk about the extremely inappropriate comment, including kissing the boy on the lips, followed by a very weak apology. This was chalked up to "innocent joking" that is routinely done with children.We believe the public is finally fed up with the excuses for these kinds of sick behaviors with our children...
2023-04-1330 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 241 | We Have To Face Our Pain!There's one theme that runs thick among all survivors - loss. And it's not just survivors of abuse. So many millions of people have lost so much. Death is also something that we all will have to face, both among loved ones and we have to face the reality that we ourselves will die, guaranteed. Grief reaches us in tons of different ways and often we're not prepared to face it.But face it we must. We have to face pain to get better. We have to deal with it, process it, acknowledge it, and embrace it if...
2023-04-0632 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 240 | Beware of Self Proclaimed ExpertsWe're really don't like the term "expert" anymore. Writing a book, taking a course, or holding a certificate or political office doesn't necessarily make someone an expert. There are lots of people in every field who claim to be experts but they lack credibility. Credibility is far superior to claiming expertise, especially when it comes to trauma. Trauma experts are people who have lots of education, experience, and credibility among the people they help.That's not to say that only professionals can be helpful, but be very cautious when people claim to be experts but lack credibility or...
2023-03-3031 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 239 | Do I Need To Immediately Forgive My Abuser?Most often survivors are told to immediately forgive their abuser yet no demands are placed on the abuser. Survivors are told that this is the only way they can receive healing. We long for the day when justice is sought FIRST, then people talk about forgiveness. In the end, what keeps us all safe from abusers is when some form of justice keeps them at bay where they can no longer produce victims, contact victims, or harass innocent people. Once an abuser begins the process of repaying what they took from their victims we can begin a conversation about forgiveness.
2023-03-2344 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 238 | Help Us Help Good People!You won't want to miss this story of our good friend in Haiti who needs our help. It's incredible how things come full circle and that someone we met over a decade ago has made such an impact on us. We're helping raise money for our good friend Julien for transportation so he can deliver food and medicine to people in his community.If you'd like to help, please visit the link below and share! https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8Sn4Wq7sx6Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In...
2023-03-1633 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 237 | Surprising Stats About Prisoners In the USVery often we are contacted about churches that invite sex offenders into their worship services. We also are asked what the chances are of getting a conviction when abuse is reported. We found some recent statistics on prisons in the US and, to be honest, we were a little surprised. There is a big disparity between the number of sex offenders in prison and the number of those on the sex offender registry.Again, to our surprise, prison populations dramatically shrunk from 2019 to 2020. We do know that most sex offenders receive light sentences, so the statistics actually make...
2023-03-0932 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 236 | Which Abuse Prevention Training Is Right for You?Believe it or not, there aren't that many training courses out there on abuse prevention. Perhaps that's why we have such an epidemic of abuse.In this episode, we talk about the pros and cons of in-person versus online content and look at a couple different training options that might be right for you!Jimmy and Clara's Training Videos (with more added each month!!): https://momence.com/video/plugin/30112Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Him
2023-02-2332 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 235 | Why We're Still ChristiansSurprisingly, we get asked a lot if we still have faith in God after all that our family has been through. The answer is a resounding YES. We had plenty of faith struggles, but we came out stronger in our belief of God.There is a lot of ugliness in the world and, unfortunately, in the church too. When everything was stripped from us, all we had left was God. He certainly looks different than he did before all of our tragedies, but that's a good thing.Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Fa...
2023-02-1635 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 234 | Deception Detection Techniques from the FBII once had the privilege to learn from former FBI agent Jim Clemente. His passion for profiling, the fact that he's a survivor of child sexual abuse, and his vast knowledge of abusers' techniques make him a leading expert. He really was a catalyst for getting me started on researching abuse techniques.Deception detection is a very important skill that FBI agents use to determine when someone is lying. Everyone is capable of learning the basics of deception detection. In this episode, we talk about the different techniques Jim Clemente teaches for detecting deception.YouTube video...
2023-02-0930 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpsiode 233 | Helping People Find Safe ShelterIn this episode we share dos and don'ts when helping people find safe shelter. Domestic violence is the leading cause of people needing to find safe shelter. But those people are very vulnerable and often fall prey to people who are waiting to take advantage of them, making them worse off than they were before they left their abuser.It's important that we take our time to learn the dos and don'ts so that we don't send people into harms way.Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home an...
2023-02-0237 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpsiode 232 | Abuse Statistics and Predictions for 2023There are some troubling trends with sexual abuse, violence, and drug abuse in the US. Each year we read the Pennsylvania annual report on abuse to gauge what is happening with abuse in our state. Then we look at national statistics. Unfortunately, the numbers are not easing. There are a lot of compound traumas that families are facing.In this episode, we give our opinion for where we are heading this year and how we can help ease this epidemic of abuse.Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Ou...
2023-01-2638 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 231| Domestic Violence Is Rising DramaticallyThere has been a recent string of murder-suicides in the news since the new year. Domestic violence has been dubbed the "Shadow Pandemic" and is giving way to large numbers of calls to police. Many of the women who were murdered had a history of telling friends they felt unsafe, filing protective orders, and were making futile attempts to stay separated from their male partner.This is a troubling trend that we need to be aware of and known how to respond because chances are good that you know someone who is victim to a violent partner. In...
2023-01-1934 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 230| Compound Trauma Is NO Joke!We're not even two weeks in and this year has already proven to be a monster. Just today (after this recording) I got news that a beloved friend passed away this morning. Millions of people are trying to learn how to cope with compound trauma. In this episode we talk about how grief grips us and how we have learned to embrace it.Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Him https://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su...
2023-01-1238 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 229 | A Year In Review and BIG NEWS!!Well, 2022 came to a close and handed the baton to 2023! What a year 2022 was. There were lots of ups and downs. In this episode, we talk about the challenges we faced in 2022 and what we plan to do about it for 2023 (hint--I think anyone who is struggling will enjoy this news!)!!Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dpSupport us on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/Sp...
2023-01-0534 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 228 | Mary Byler Amish MisfitMary Byler joins us to discuss her new book, "Reflections and Memories of an Amish Misfit: My Therapist Says That's Not True, But I Digress." This is one of the most important discussions we've had yet on abuse in Amish communities. Mary, who grew up Amish, suffered years of abuse at the hands of her father and brothers. Now freed from abuse, Mary is a leading victims' advocate, working to help rescue more people from abuse within Amish and Plain communities.Mary's book:https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Memories-Amish-Misfit-therapist-ebook/dp/B0BPQJNT7K/ref=sr_1_1?crid=AQKSL8TJMLGQ...
2022-12-221h 29
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 227 | Should the Church Die To Stop Abuse?Whether the church should completely crumble or continue to exist is a wildly hot topic right now. SO much abuse has taken place, and continues to take place, in the church. I often say that it's embarrassing at how terrible the church responds to abuse. And it's embarrassing at how many abusers are "restored" back to ministry positions. So does the church need to completely fall? Would children be safer if churches ceased to exist?Find out our position in this episode.Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Ho...
2022-12-1536 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 226 | What Does Forgive as the Lord Forgives Mean???We hear from people all the time that victims need to forgive their abusers no matter what. First of all, we disagree. Secondly, what does it mean to forgive as the Lord forgives? In an age when abusers are openly welcomed by the church, we really need to better understand what it means to forgive like God forgives. Article, A Perpetrator In the Pews:https://christianchronicle.org/sex-offenders-presence-at-worship-stirs-discord-in-pennsylvania-congregation/Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://ww...
2022-12-0848 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 225 | Should My Church Allow Sex Offenders To Attend?Registered sex offender Dashawn Williams was charged with raping two women after serving only 3.5 years in prison for sex offenses against a 15 year old. According to the New York Post, Williams was released on parole 2 years ago. In addition to the case of the 15 year old girl, Williams had been arrested multiple times in the past for aggravated harassment and criminal obstruction of breathing. Just this past week, I was asked by a church leader what my thoughts were on allowing a sex offender to attend that particular church, which is full of little children. My answer is...
2022-12-0135 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 224: Should You Pay for Background Check Services?There are a lot of sites that will conduct all background checks for you in one click of a button, searching databases like the sex offender registry, criminal records, court records, and so on. Lots of people ask me what paid background check service I'd recommend.In this episode, we talk about a recent live demonstration we did, putting paid services to the test. Are they worth it? Should we pay for them? Are there free services out there? Or should we do our own research? We break ALL of this down in this episode.Jimmy’s...
2022-11-1732 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 223: Decency Will Win the Battle Against AbuseIn a wildly divided and politically charged world, we believe that decency will win the day in the end! When people are treated with decency it completely changes their outlook on life. We can help improve the mental health of others by treating them with decency. In this episode we talk about the need for the advocacy community to lead the way in showing kindness and compassion for survivors. We can greatly minimize the impact abuse has on people, and do a better job of preventing it, if we keep decency at the forefront of all that we do.
2022-11-1039 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 222: Number of Female Pedophiles DOUBLES In Four YearsA very recent article in the UK shows the dramatic uptick in female pedophile offenders. Experts in criminal justice are now recognizing that there are FAR more female pedophiles than we ever imagined. Virtually every study that exists on female predators is outdated. The world is constantly changing and we are officially a hyper-sexual culture. Kids are getting VERY mixed messages about gender identity, sexual fluidity, and so on. We need to have a heightened awareness that the number of female child sexual abusers is increasing rapidly. We cannot assume that, because our kids are with females, they...
2022-11-0340 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 221: School Teachers 100 Times More Likely To Abuse Kids than Catholic PriestsIn this episode, we discuss the sharp rise in women teachers as abusers and how this has a major impact on our schools. The statistics for sexual predators as teachers is on the rise, and so is the number of female abusers. What in the world is going on in our schools and what can we do about it? Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp Support us...
2022-10-2733 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 220: We Did Our First Live Abuse Prevention Training!In this episode, we talk about our newest endeavor for our patrons. We just began a monthly live Zoom session where we do specialized abuse prevention training. These trainings come from over 10 years of research and experience traveling the country, training the military, police departments, corrections officers, schools, and churches. As you can tell, we're pretty excited and wanted to share more details with you! Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw...
2022-10-2030 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 219: Why Are Registered Sex Offenders Allowed on Facebook?Did you know that it's perfectly legal for registered sex offenders to be on social media? That's right, as long as they're not on supervision even sexually violent predators can have as many social media accounts as they want. This means they are on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and any popular social media platforms your children and grandchildren are using. In this episode, we talk about a real life situation of a sex offender on Facebook who looks like a perfect candidate for a church volunteer. Unless churches really do their homework, they would never know that the people...
2022-10-1335 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 218: What To Expect When Reporting AbuseLots of people wonder what to expect when reporting abuse. Heck, we did too. There are so many unknown variables that it's impossible to predict the future, but we hope to ease some concerns in this episode. We share why we reported and what some things are that people can expect when they make a report. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp Support us on Patreon:
2022-10-0640 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 217: When Kids Display Signs of AbuseWe get asked by many parents what to do when their kids are displaying signs of abuse. In this episode, we talk about what those signs are and how parents should intervene. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp Support us on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/SpeakingOut Find us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/jimmyhintonauthor https://www.facebook.com/SilentGriefSupport
2022-09-2935 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 216: Middle School Boys Create "Pedo Database" for Creepy Teacher and He's Now On LeaveIf ever there is reason for hope, it is this! After witnessing female classmates being sexually harassed by their teacher, a group of middle school boys in Rhode Island reported to higher-ups. When the administration failed to report or take action, the boys took matters into their own hands. They started a Discord channel, documenting the creepy behavior in real time. Every time the teacher would touch a girl, make creepy comments, or ask them to dance, the boys were typing away, writing the direct quotes from their teacher. Once the teacher was finally turned in for stalking...
2022-09-2230 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 215: Our Top 5 Components of Good Abuse Prevention TrainingChild abuse prevention training is inadequate at best. In this episode, we share our top 5 components that are necessary for a good training. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp Support us on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/SpeakingOut Find us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/jimmyhintonauthor https://www.facebook.com/SilentGriefSupport And Twitter:https://twitter.com/JimmyHinton12
2022-09-1538 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 214: Our Abuse Training Is All WrongNobody in their right mind would lock themselves inside a burning building. The same should be true for active shooters. Nobody should willingly lock themselves inside a building with a shooter. Yet many outdated trainings teach people to do exactly that. Uvalde, TX is a case-in-point of everything gone wrong. Many innocent lives were lost because of inadequate training and a poor response by police. The same can be said about sexual abuse training. In many instances, inadequate and outdated training puts innocent people at very high risk. For example, churches are notorious for locking known abusers up...
2022-09-0835 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 213: Children of the Underground - People Living In FearFX has a new docu-series called Children of the Underground. There is a real crisis of victims of abuse whom the system has failed. Our laws cannot protect everyone and often abused children are put right back into the homes of their abusers. In this episode we talk about this crisis and how people can get involved on a local level to help catch some of these victims so they don't have to be on the run. We need to work with people on a local level if we are ever going to get a grip on this...
2022-09-0138 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 212: Proof the SBC STILL Doesn't Get It!The SBC is being investigated by the Department of Justice. This would be enough to make anyone shake in their boots. But not the SBC. Instead they chose to minimize DECADES of harassing victims, putting known pedophiles back in the pulpit, and threatening victims with their top attorneys. Since the DOJ announced that they are investigating the SBC, the top leaders apologized for "mistakes" they made in the past and assured people that their leaders are proving to be fully committed to not repeating more "mistakes." Interestingly, J.D. Greear's Summit Church STILL has a policy that keeps...
2022-08-2536 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 211: Pedophiles Among Us - How Do We Respond? (Part 2)Pedophiles are all around us. Registered sex offenders are everywhere. Other known sex offenders are in our circle of friends and family. Then there are all the predators who are abusing children but are have not been found out yet. There are three basic schools of thought: (1) put all child sexual predators on an island somewhere, (2) welcome them into our churches and families, or (3) let sleeping dogs lie.The reality is that they are everywhere. We can't ship them on an island, so how do we recognize them as functioning members of society while still setting boundaries and...
2022-08-1832 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 210: Pedophiles Among Us - How Do We Respond? (Part 1)Pedophiles are all around us. Registered sex offenders are everywhere. Other known sex offenders are in our circle of friends and family. Then there are all the predators who are abusing children but are have not been found out yet. There are three basic schools of thought: (1) put all child sexual predators on an island somewhere, (2) welcome them into our churches and families, or (3) let sleeping dogs lie.The reality is that they are everywhere. We can't ship them on an island, so how do we recognize them as functioning members of society while still setting boundaries and...
2022-08-1135 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 209: Easiest Way to Spot a Child Abuser (Part 5)There's a reason why people keep getting fooled by child abusers. They blend in really well with the rest of us. The fruits they produce look just like the fruits you and I produce. It's not until we inspect those fruits that we realize how rotten it is on the inside. We developed a tool to help identify and inspect the fruits that abusers produce. This tool helps to easily recognize high risk individuals. This is part one of a series where we cover 20 different fruits, or patterns abusers have. Fruits Tool:https://docs.google...
2022-08-0444 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 208: Easiest Way to Spot a Child Abuser (Part 4)There's a reason why people keep getting fooled by child abusers. They blend in really well with the rest of us. The fruits they produce look just like the fruits you and I produce. It's not until we inspect those fruits that we realize how rotten it is on the inside. We developed a tool to help identify and inspect the fruits that abusers produce. This tool helps to easily recognize high risk individuals. This is part one of a series where we cover 20 different fruits, or patterns abusers have. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: Ho...
2022-07-2841 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 207: Easiest Way to Spot a Child Abuser (Part 3)There's a reason why people keep getting fooled by child abusers. They blend in really well with the rest of us. The fruits they produce look just like the fruits you and I produce. It's not until we inspect those fruits that we realize how rotten it is on the inside. We developed a tool to help identify and inspect the fruits that abusers produce. This tool helps to easily recognize high risk individuals. This is part one of a series where we cover 20 different fruits, or patterns abusers have. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: Ho...
2022-07-2139 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 206: Easiest Way to Spot a Child Abuser (Part 2)There's a reason why people keep getting fooled by child abusers. They blend in really well with the rest of us. The fruits they produce look just like the fruits you and I produce. It's not until we inspect those fruits that we realize how rotten it is on the inside. We developed a tool to help identify and inspect the fruits that abusers produce. This tool helps to easily recognize high risk individuals. This is part one of a series where we cover 20 different fruits, or patterns abusers have. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: Ho...
2022-07-0745 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 205 Easiest Way to Spot a Child Abuser (Part 1)There's a reason why people keep getting fooled by child abusers. They blend in really well with the rest of us. The fruits they produce look just like the fruits you and I produce. It's not until we inspect those fruits that we realize how rotten it is on the inside. We developed a tool to help identify and inspect the fruits that abusers produce. This tool helps to easily recognize high risk individuals. This is part one of a series where we cover 20 different fruits, or patterns abusers have. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: Ho...
2022-06-3035 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 204: How the Bible Describes Wolves (and It's Not Nice)The Bible describes a class of people who have not, do not, and will not ever change. It's an impossibility. Their hearts have been so hardened that they have zero desire to change. Jesus says that a bad tree CANNOT produce good fruit. In this episode, we share scriptures that speak to this. And there are many of them. Wolves are not sheep, plain and simple. When we identify them, the message is universal--avoid them! Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally St...
2022-06-1642 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 203: Abusers Don't Change (The Bible Says So)Abusers will never change. A person who oppresses innocent people for their own pleasure is warped. The Bible repeatedly refers to them as wolves. Wolves don't change, because they can't change. This episode kicks off a series on how to positively recognize and identify a wolf in sheep's clothing. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp Support us on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/SpeakingOut
2022-06-0934 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 202: Pastor John Lowe II Confronted By Woman He Raped When She Was 16"I was just 16 when you took my virginity on your office floor. Do you remember that?" Those are the words from Bobbi Gephart, who confronted her abuser in front of his congregation after he gave a "confession" of an "affair" some 20 years ago. John Lowe II lied on stage, telling his church that he had an "affair," leaving out an important detail--it was no affair at all. Instead, he raped a 16 year old girl and abused her for years. This is a case-in-point that survivors of abuse have more power than their abusers give them credit for. Lowe...
2022-06-0228 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 201: SBC Secret Database Proves Leaders Never Cared About VictimsIt keeps getting worse and worse for the SBC. The more we learn, the more we realize it is reckless at best and, at worst, completely incapable of change. After publicly claiming that it was impossible to create a database, we now know that it had it's own secret list of predator pastors all along. The SBC has a long road ahead, but honestly we're not convinced that it will change. We'll give our reasons why we think that, and give our opinion on what it will take to actually begin to change this broken culture of abuse...
2022-05-2632 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 200: Top 20 Lessons We Learned PodcastingThis marks our 200th episode! This is a huge milestone for us, so we decided to share our top 20 lessons we've learned from podcasting over the past few years. We've cried and laughed a lot over the course of 200 episodes. But most importantly, we've met many people who have taught us so much. We wanted to share those lessons with you! Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp
2022-05-1934 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode199: Husband Touches Minor and This Church Lets Him off the HookWe need to learn from the mistakes of others. Oftentimes we feel like we're living in the movie Groundhog Day. We see the same stories repeat themselves over and over again. A story that one of our patrons sent our way from The Dr. John Delony Show is no exception. A wife and mother to a young child called in to say that her husband had inappropriately touched a 13 year old girl at church. What unfolded in the conversation was both mortifying and predictable. Not only did the church fail to report the abuse, but they let the abuser control...
2022-05-0537 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 198: Gothard's Girls- Charis Barker's Experience as a SurvivorAs a 16 year old girl, Charis Barker had no idea that her world was about to change forever. As an obedient daughter of followers of Gothard, she dreamed of one day sitting at the feet of him. Her wish came true and, to her surprise, Gothard singled her out and called her on stage. He told her that she had "bright eyes," a term of endearment that he used to let someone know that they were "godly." He urged her later that night to leave with him to work for him back at Headquarters in Chicago. Charis and...
2022-04-281h 04The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 197: Churches Guarantee Failure When They Defend AbusersWhy are so many churches still insistent on defending abusers? They sit in support of abusers in the courtroom. They tell survivors to move on. They develop policies that protect the abuser. They put them in positions of authority. And they develop "care teams" for the abuser. In this episode, we share what we believe is the #1 contributor to empowering abusers and catapulting abuse to a whole other level. Fortunately, some churches are getting the message and are shifting this culture but we need many more to join the ranks if we are going to extinguish the flames...
2022-04-2133 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 196: The Thing That All Successful Advocates Have in CommonAll great advocates have one thing in common. Just a little hint, it's not that they have a big platform. Some of the best advocates have no platform online. In fact, they may not be known beyond their local community. So what is it that makes advocates successful? We unpack all that and more in this episode. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp Find us on Fa...
2022-04-1438 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 195: Why Churches Love to Bully SurvivorsYou may have noticed that we deleted an episode. This was thanks to a church threatening a guest we had on and we all decided it was safest for her if we just removed the episode. Sadly, this is common practice for churches. They routinely bully, intimidate, threaten, and scare survivors into silence. And all of this is "in the name of God." In this episode, we address this plague that is within the diseased church culture. We also offer these 5 tips for churches to avoid these abusive techniques: 1. Believe survivors2. Let survivors tell their story...
2022-04-0738 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 193: The Best Way to Protect Kids From AbuseSO many children were not, and STILL are not, able to be protected from abusers. What is the best line of defense against an abuser? This is a very hotly debated subject. Some believe that adults should have all the responsibility for protecting innocent people. Those in this camp often believe that teaching a child to protect him or herself puts too much pressure on children. Others believe that we should teach children to protect themselves. While we believe that children should be educated, we have a long way to go in teaching adults to listen to disclosures...
2022-03-2433 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 192: Should Spouses Report Abuse? It's ComplicatedWe know that mandated reporters must always report suspicions of abuse of a minor. But what about spouses of abusers? Oftentimes there is no "smoking gun" that creates a reportable incident, but there are oddities and red flags. Other times there may be a disclosure by a child of abuse but the fear of harassment, intimidation, or even death will keep spouses from reporting abusers. It gets a lot more complicated when the person who may be in the know is the spouse of the abuser. For decades, Clara didn't know that her husband was an abuser. It...
2022-03-1738 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 191: 5 People Jailed for Not Reporting AbuseWhen officials at Midland Christian School in Texas were told about a 9th grade boy being bullied and sexually assaulted with a baseball bat they did nothing. Superintendent Jared Lee told other staffers to investigate instead of calling the police. As a result two coaches and three administrators were arrested and charged with failure to report and intent to conceal neglect or abuse. Failure to report has very serious consequences. This is because victims are cheated out of getting the help they need and abusers run free. When this story broke, it didn't take long for Christians to...
2022-03-1035 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 190: How Do I Make It Another Day?Life is moving fast. We experience life and death in our families, and sometimes simultaneously. In this episode we talk about the highs and lows we're currently experiencing in our family and how we manage it all. Many survivors experience so many ups and downs. This is perfectly normal and doesn't make anyone weak. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp Find us on Facebook:https://ww...
2022-02-2433 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 189: Do Abusers Really Groom Their Victims?We hear all the time that abusers "groom" their victims and the communities around them. But is this term accurate for what they are really doing? We've been talking about abusers testing their victims and the people around them for years. We finally explain why in this episode. Terminology is important. Here is a blog post I wrote on this subject: https://jimmyhinton.org/why-i-talk-about-abusers-testing-instead-of-grooming/Champions of Illusion Part 1 (With Drs. Macknik and Martinez-Conde)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXgRO8g95swChampions of Illusion Part 2https://www.youtube.com...
2022-02-1739 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 188: Megachurch Pastor Restores Himself to the Pulpit After InfidelityTavner Smith is pastor of Venu Church, one of the fastest growing mega church movements in the US. After alleged infidelity with a staffer was discovered, others on staff urged him to step down for a year until they could sort out details. Smith refused, saying that he would be back in the pulpit by February. After only six weeks of him stepping away from the pulpit, he placed himself back into his preaching position. In the meantime, eight staff members resigned and several other people left the church, siting a toxic environment with zero accountability. In this...
2022-02-1036 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 187: Has Your Host Lost His Mind?Questions are pouring in. . . has Jimmy lost his mind? Won't you get frostbite? Why would you do this? So we decided to have a little fun with this episode and answer a lot of the questions we've been getting about what would possess your host to climb an ice fall and go swimming in an icy river. Hope you enjoy and, as always, stay warm!! Insights by Kari Leibowitz on her PhD. study on Norwegian people in winter:https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/07/the-norwegian-town-where-the-sun-doesnt-rise/396746/Wim Hof (Ice Man) Brain Over Body Michigan Study: ...
2022-02-0328 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 186: Senator Book's Nude Photos Leaked and SoldLauren Book has been through a lot. As a child she was sexually abused for years by her female nanny. Lauren wrote about her experience in her book, "It's OK to Tell." Since then she has become a powerful voice in the advocacy community. Most recently, she won a seat in the Florida State Senate and is working hard to change laws. But those laws couldn't protect her from having her phone hacked and nude images stolen that were meant only for her husband's eyes. Not only were those images stolen, but the investigation revealed that they've been...
2022-01-2733 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 185: How To Handle a Spiritual AbuserSpiritual abuse is rampant. Does the church have a ripe environment to produce or enable narcissistic leaders? Some statistics show that narcissism is rising pretty dramatically, and recent investigations show the epidemic of abuse in the church. So how do we handle spiritual abusers? In this episode we explore different ways to shut down an abuser and protect our own boundaries. Jimmy’s book, The Devil Inside: How My Minister Father Molested Kids In Our Home and Church for Decades and How I Finally Stopped Himhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1950948617/ref=cm_sw_su_dp...
2022-01-2040 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 184: Pastor Kicks Visitor Out for Requesting Prayer | Spiritual AbuseSpiritual abuse is rampant, and not many religious leaders are talking about it. It's also VERY hard to define spiritual abuse in our legal system and that, combined with religious freedom, makes it nearly impossible to convict people for spiritual abuse. In this episode, we define what spiritual abuse is (or at least what it includes) and talk about the insignificance of spiritual abusers. We'll spend a couple episodes talking about spiritual abuse and how to deflate these abusers. The church needs to start standing up to these abusers and stop giving them power. Jimmy’s bo...
2022-01-1339 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 183: Why Are Abusers So Weird? This Is How Pedophiles ThinkOn December 19th, 27 year old Tyler Henegar, a registered sex offender, shamelessly broke into a little girl's apartment and was caught wearing nothing but the little girl's shoes. This Cinderella was chased out of the house by the girl's mother and was later apprehended by police. And remember Captain Underpants, the perverted colonel from Canada who flew Queen Elizabeth around? He broke into dozens of women's and little girls houses, stealing hundreds of pairs of their underwear and bras. He photographed himself wearing the underwear, and wore underwear from girls as young as 9 years old. He was later...
2022-01-0635 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 181: Anna Duggar Stands By Josh | Eric Skwarczynski of Preacher BoysIn 2018 Mike Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas, radically defended Josh Duggar when it became public that he had sexually abused young girls, including his own sisters. Huckabee said that no purpose is served by people bringing up Josh's past. Similarly, Josh's wife Anna stood by his side throughout his trail for possession of child abuse material. Anna was seen smiling and holding Josh's hand. Eric Skwarczynski of the Preacher Boys Podcast is very familiar with the toxic teaching the Duggars have on sexuality. Women are taught to be submissive to men in authority, including their husbands. In this...
2021-12-161h 25
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 180: Les Ferguson Jr. on Child Abuser Who Murdered His Son and WifeOn October 10, 2011, Les Ferguson Jr. thought it would be an ordinary day--a celebration of his and Karen's 24th wedding anniversary. But then Les received a call with screaming in the background. The call dropped. Les rushed to his house only to find his street lined with police cars and swat teams. In his heart he knew that it was his family who was targeted. The murderer was a trusted church member at the church Les preached at who had been sexually abusing Les' 21 year old disabled son. Les is a family friend, fellow minister, and the author of "...
2021-12-091h 06The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 177: Is the American Church Decline Contributing to Abuse?The church in the US is in a freefall decline. The decline is unprecedented. The majority of church membership is held in churches of under 100 in attendance. At the same time, the megachurches are growing while "mom and pop" small churches are closing their doors. The problem is very, very dire. So where does this leave our children who are being raised in the church today? Are they more at risk or is abuse going to see a decline as churches decline? We unpack this and more in this episode. US Church in decline: https://www...
2021-11-1142 min
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 168: How Do I Know if a Leader Is Abusive? With Christine ParkerIt's very difficult for most people to recognize the difference between difficult church leaders and abusive ones. Jimmy and Christine developed a list of traits of abusive leaders and they discuss it in this episode. It's important to know when leaders are abusive and how to confront the abuse. Too many abuse survivors are abused by leaders after their experience of abuse from someone else. To learn more about the work Christine does at PorchSwing Ministries, visit https://www.porchswingministries.org/To see the traits of an abusive leader:https://drive.google.com/file/d/10...
2021-09-091h 08
The Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 166: How Clara's Daughter Alex Found Healing from Her Dad's AbuseClara's youngest daughter, Alex Howlett, was the person who disclosed her dad's abuse to Jimmy and Clara in 2011. Alex was 20 at the time. In this episode she describes her healing journey that began with deep depression and attempted suicide to now owning her own Yoga business and loving every minute of it! Alex will forever be our hero because she had the courage to tell and her disclosure of abuse stopped a very dangerous serial predator, sparing untold numbers of children. If you missed the previous episode when we had Alex on, you won't want to...
2021-08-2640 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 165: How Did the Church Respond When We Reported?We don't really talk much about how the church responded when we reported the abuse, but it is an important part of our story. Reporting abuse is often a very lonely road for survivors. But what about for us? Jimmy is the full time minister for the church his dad led for almost 3 decades. Clara was the preacher's wife for that long, too. So did the church respond in a healthy way? While we had some support, our story is not much different from other people who are walking this road of compound traumas. Intro--...
2021-08-1940 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 164: Clara Tells Us How She Got Out of an Abusive Marriage (and how you can too)Being married to an abuser is incredibly difficult. When the abuse is subtle and highly calculated, it's challenging to even rationalize to yourself the real reasons why you are deciding to end a marriage. This is what makes sophisticated abusers so dangerous and why they are able to keep their spouses trapped in a marriage. Clara Hinton left her marriage before she knew that her husband was a child sexual abuser. In this episode, she talks about signs that started painting a picture that pointed towards spousal abuse. She details how she got the courage to get out...
2021-08-1235 minThe Speaking Out on Sex Abuse PodcastEpisode 163: Cuomo's Behavior Is Eerily Familiar for Church Abuse SurvivorsNew York's Office of the Attorney General released a damning report yesterday chronicling Governor Andrew Cuomo's creepy, predatory behavior with 11 victims who came forward. The report uncovers a "culture within the Executive Chamber" of cover-ups, fear, demanded loyalty to the governor, and retaliation against those who spoke up. In an act of defiance, Governor Cuomo released a 14 minute video denying any wrongdoing and belittling victims who spoke out about the abuse. In this episode, we talk about the similarities within church and advocacy cultures, where survivors are bullied and threatened into silence. To read the full Attorney...
2021-08-0539 min