Shows
How to SurviveThe 300th Episode SpectacularThis episode was originally released as a Patreon bonus. To find out more, head to Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod It's time for the long-awaited 300th Episode Spectacular! It's a bumper session, filled with correspondence and reflections - and we couldn't be more grateful to everyone who has been part of the fun. You can also expect a few announcements about upcoming features - including a return to covering not one but TWO franchises. Thanks for all your support. It means a huge amount that you've listened to, enjoyed, and kept listening to...
2025-05-211h 15How to SurviveHow to Survive: Paprika (2006)How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 290…and the Internet and dreams are similar. They're areas where the repressed conscious mind escapes. Paprika (2006) follows its titular dream-based protagonist, and her real-life alter ego Dr Atsuko Chiba, as she administers a futuristic form of therapy using a prototype device called the DC Mini. However, when so-called ‘Dream Terrorists’ steal the devices and use it to run rampant through other people’s dreams with disastrous results, it’...
2024-07-1954 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Solaris (1973)How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It’s episode 287…and you mean more to me than any scientific truth. Solaris (1973) sees psychologist Kriss Kelvin dispatched to a space station orbiting the titular planet to see if the skeleton crew’s reports of strange goings on and mysterious 4 metre tall babies are to be believed, or whether it’s a simple case of space madness. While there, he is disturbed by the presence of unexpected ‘guests’ on the statio...
2024-05-1754 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Fall (2022) How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 268...and Life is fleeting. Life is short, too short. So you gotta use every moment. Fall (2022) tells the story of Becky, a climbing hobbyist who has descended into a deep depression following the death of her partner one year earlier--no prizes for guessing what happened to him. Becky's friend Hunter knows there's only one thing that can break Becky out of her funk, and that's coercing her into climbing a rickety 2000ft ra...
2023-06-0758 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Lost Boys (1987) How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 263...and it's actually a pretty cool place… if you're a Martian! The Lost Boys (1987) puts us into the youth culture hotbed of 1980s Santa Clara, the supposed 'murder capital' of the United States. To the newly arrived Michael and Sam Emerson the summer presents opportunities of new beginnings, new friends and new hobbies which, for Michael at least, means things like riding motorbikes, hanging from bridges, floating uncontrollably and drinking blood from an o...
2023-03-1551 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Black Phone (2022) How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 259...and you don't think they're going to find them, do you? The Black Phone (2022) tells the story of Finney and Gwen, brother and sister living in a 1970s Denver suburb. Children have been disappearing, and people live in fear of The Grabber, the mysterious individual that could be responsible. When Finney is kidnapped, he finds he is able to communicate with The Grabber's previous victims through a magical phone. Meanwhile, Gwen's supernatural ab...
2023-01-1859 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Halloween Ends (2022)How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 255...and here I am. A survivor attempting to tell my story, and find healing. Halloween Ends (2022) tells the story of Corey Cunningham, a babysitter who gets more than he bargained for when he accidentally kills the child in his care. Avoiding jail time, he falls in love with Allison, the granddaughter of Laurie Strode, who is now fully recovered from the trauma of the last 40 years. Don’t wo...
2022-10-311h 02How to SurviveHow to Survive: Malignant (2021)How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 249...I thought we could help him, but I was wrong. It's time we cut out the cancer. Malignant (2021) marks James Wan's glitzy return to the horror genre with what feels like a run through the greatest hits of his filmography. We've got abductions, nightmares, haunted houses, but how well does it all hang together? We discuss a film of two halves, the strangest martial arts movie ever made, consider health and safety tips for constructing torture dungeons, and...
2021-12-151h 05How to SurviveHow to Survive: The Mummy (1932)How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 243...and do you have to open graves to find girls to fall in love with? The Mummy (1932) tells the story of Imhotep, an ancient Egyptian high priest condemned to eternal undeath for religious sacrilege, resurrected by intrepid archaeologists. Once alive, Imhotep seeks out the object of his everlasting love Anck-su-namun, who he believes is reincarnated in the form of half-Egyptian, half-British socialite Helen Grosvenor. Can a crack team of old men and lovelorn simps stop Imhotep from laying claim to...
2021-09-241h 11How to SurviveHow to Survive: Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 242...and it could be another Jigsaw copycat. Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) tells the story of Ezekial 'Zeke' Banks, a hard-boiled detective in an unnamed city, hunting down a mysterious serial killer of corrupt Police officers in a manner not unlike everyone's favourite DIY enthusiast John Kramer, aka The Jigsaw Killer. We wonder if the Chris Rock-ification of the Saw franchise was something anybody needed and where we go from here, discuss a surprisingly gore-lite torture porn...
2021-08-121h 10How to SurviveHow to Survive: Brahms: The Boy II (2020)How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 235 (despite what we might say in the intro)...and he calls out to the ones who need him -- the damaged ones. Brahms: The Boy II (2020), unfortunately, continues and expands upon the wondeful story of Brahms, the doll first seen in The Boy (2016). Following a traumatic event, a family moves to the grounds of the mysterious Heelshire Estate in the hopes of a relaxing break. Little do they know what bland, frustrating and confusing events that will befall them.
2021-02-241h 17How to SurviveHow to Survive: The Nun (2018)*Apologies for the delay to this episode. We really did intend to kick off 2021 with a more rigorous schedule but unfortunately, as has been the case for many this last year, some less-than-ideal life events got in the way. Furthermore, neither of us were in the best circumstances when we recorded this, which may well be reflected in energy levels (or lack thereof) in the podcast. We'll be back and more bushy-tailed very soon.* How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 234...and we have both seen the...
2021-02-171h 00How to SurviveHow to Survive: Ready or Not (2019)How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 233...and don’t take it personally. They’re just trying to figure out if you’re a gold-digging whore. Ready or Not (2019) tells the story of newly-married Grace, who wants to make a good impression on her new husband Daniel's relatives - the mysterious Le Domas family, owners of the Le Domas boardgaming Monopoly. As is only fitting, before the happy couple start their Life together, they have a traditional family game with the newlyweds on their wedding night, but this g...
2020-12-221h 13How to SurviveHow to Survive: Looper (2012)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 226...and this time travel crap, just fries your brain like a egg.. Looper (2012) tells the story of Joe, a 'Looper'. Loopers are assassins who kill people sent from the future, where time travel exists but is controlled by criminal gangs. There are also psychic people. Fun and games ensue when Joe is ordered to kill a 30-year-older version of himself. We discuss then whens, wheres and whyfors of mute begging, hoverbike jousting, propose picking a safe word for you a...
2020-07-311h 11How to SurviveHow to Survive: Back to the Future (1985)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 225...and I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it. Back to the Future (1985) tells the story of Marty McFly, a precocious teen with deadbeat parents and a good friend in Doc Brown, a local inventor and all-round eccentric. When Marty helps Doc test his newly-constructed time machine, he winds up stranded three decades earlier in 1955. Can he convince the younger Doc Brown to help him, and can he make sure his high schooler p...
2020-07-151h 08How to SurviveHow to Survive: The Platform (2019)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 224... and change doesn't happen spontaneously. The Platform (2019) (or El Hoyo (2019) depending on whether you are in spain or not), tells the story of Gorreng, a man who wakes up in a vertical prison of several hundred floors. Each day, a platform lowers food from the top floor downwards, with prisoners relying on the lack of greed of those above them in order to eat. Why? Well, why not? We talk about the benefits of a mobile vegetable patch; how to...
2020-07-031h 06How to SurviveHow to Survive: mother! (2017)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 223...these are just things. They can be replaced. mother! (2017) stars Jennifer Lawrence as Mother in the completely straightforward and simple story of a man and woman who live in a house. When some strangers arrive and begin to take liberties with Mother's hospitality, tensions begin to rise. What follows is an absolutely normal time with normal events and nothing out of the ordinary with no double-meaning whatsoever. We get our metaphorrors and alleghorrorcals confused, give hypnobirthing advice, discuss unruly...
2020-06-011h 03How to SurviveHow to Survive: Happy Death Day 2U (2019)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 222... and failure is not an option. Happy Death Day 2U (2019) reunites us with our favourite hungover student Tree for more time-looping horror hijinks, but this time with a pop sci-fi twist. How much merit can there be in repeating the premise of a film about repeating the same events over and over? Well...some merit, as it turns out. We offer some much-needed architectural advice, dig into some surprising emotional depth, discuss the life and future works of Christopher L...
2020-05-1355 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Invisible Man (2020)It's episode 221... and he said that wherever I went, he would find me, walk right up to me, and I wouldn't be able to see him The Invisible Man (2020) tells the story of an invisible man. Or does it? Cecilia has just escaped an abusive relationship, and her ex has apparently died by suicide - but now she has the distinct feeling that she's being haunted and hunted by his invisible presence. We suggest swinging away; creating an even playing field; and the merits of being able to accept when a relationship is over.
2020-04-2057 minHow to Survive2001: A Space Odyssey The long awaited episode is finally here. Joe sits down with his 3 month old son to discuss Stanley Kubrick's 1968 masterpiece, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and explains the film in detail even a starchild can understand. You can expect: - Stories of the film's production - 2001's place in the history of Sci-Fi - Interpretations of the film - Cooing There's even a little bit of survival chat to round off the episode. Feel free to get in touch with you thoughts on this format: @howtosurvivepod on Twitter, or email howtosurviveshow@gmail.com.
2020-04-131h 07How to SurviveAn Update.A quick update from your two favourite survivors. For anyone who can't listen: - We're going to start doing the podcast again, but releasing irregularly for a while. - From May 1st the Patreon will act as a 'tip jar'. There will be a single '1$ and up' tier, and no exclusive content. Feel free to pledge as much or as little as you like. All HTS content going forward will be freely available until further notice. - All proceeds from the Patreon will go to the WHO COVID-19 Response Fund until further...
2020-04-0505 minHow to SurviveHiatus Episode 1: Bringing Up BabyWe're still on hiatus. But guess what - we're going to the polls to decide Joe's child's first ever movie. Download to find out more - and take advantage of the fact that we've currently disabled billing on our Patreon so you can listen to everything for free! www.patreon.com/howtosurvivepod Get in touch: howtosurviveshow@gmail.com
2020-02-1007 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)*Editors note: The weird echoey thing is largely gone, but there's still a bit of it. Sorry about that.* It's a New Nightmare (1994), which tells the story of Heather Langengkamp who played Nancy in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) playing a fictionalised version of herself (the actress) playing the character again for a final time, but in the process of filming it (in the fictional world of the film) she begins to be haunted by Freddy Krueger (in both the movie she's filming, and her real life, which is a film). It is meta. We...
2020-01-011h 05How to SurviveHow to Survive: Jingle All The Way (1996)*Editors note: As with the Home Alone episode, we recorded this in Joe's echoey garage - so it sounds a bit weird. Sorry!* It's Boxing Day! That can only mean one thing - we find another random Christmas film to cover because there are only really two Die Hard films that are related to Christmas. Why not cover one of the many, many Christmas-themed horror movies, given that we are a horror podcast, I hear you ask? Well, because then we wouldn't be covering the Arnie-led slapstick classic Jingle All The Way. As you'd expect...
2019-12-2643 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012)*Editors note: We recorded in Joe's garage for the first time using unfamiliar equipment, so the audio sounds a bit spacier than usual. Apologies!* It's Christmas! That can only mean one thing - we retread old traditions despite no-one finding the joy in them that we once had. In that spirit, we tackle the unloved, unwanted child of the Home Alone franchise - the made-for-TV Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012). It's lumps of coal for Christmas all round as we unwrap another certifiable stinker - bland family humour, joyless retooling of traps from previous editions...
2019-12-2451 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Snakes on a Plane (2006)It's episode 219...I've had it with these...well, you know the rest. Snakes on a Plane (2006) tells the story of cool surfer dude Sean who inadvertently witnesses a gangland murder and winds up under the protection of FBI agent Flynn. Can Flynn get Sean back to Los Angeles to testify, or will the nefarious Eddie Kim try and kill Sean before he arrives - maybe by, I don't know, filling the entire plane with horny snakes? We flick our forked tongues over a B-movie with a Hollywood budget, Joe questions Samuel L Jackson's acting legacy...
2019-12-1854 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Birds (1963)It's episode 218...and they made some mess too. Smashing into buildings and everything. They always make a mess. The Birds (1963) tells the story of some birds who, sick and tired of having the unfettered freedom of the skies, wish to rise up and attack the land-dwelling human population too. So, they migrate, only this time, they're migrating straight into your eyes, beaks-first, and there's not a damn thing you, me, Mitch or poor Melanie Daniels can do about it. We discuss one of the all-time classics of the horror genre - does it stand up...
2019-12-1147 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Coraline (2009)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 217...how dare you disobey your mother?! Coraline (2009) tells the story of Coraline (duh), a precocious and bored 11-year old girl who discovers an alternate world hidden through a tunnel in her house, where everything is exactly as it seems and it's all fine and there's nothing at all to worry about, the end. Except for rats, bats, button-eyes, and the nefarious Other Mother. We ask whether animated 'horror' can ever be scary, if body-free body horror exists, Joe proposes...
2019-12-0445 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Doctor Sleep (2019)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 216...and I’m running away from myself, I guess. Doctor Sleep (2019) is Mike Flanagan's sequel to Stanley Kubrick's adaptation of Stephen King's The Shining, but also an adaptation of Stephen King's Doctor Sleep, itself a sequel to Stephen King's The Shining, but one that disavows the changes made by Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, changes that Mike Flanagan reinstates in his Doctor Sleep, in order to serve as a sequel to both The Shining and The Shining. Confused? Surprisingly, you won't be, as it...
2019-11-2755 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Hamlet (1996)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 215...and break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue. Hamlet (1996) tells the story of Prince Hamlet. After his father dies in a suspicious orchard accident, Hamlet struggles to adjust to life with his uncle as his new stepdad. The same uncle is also the king now, and everyone is feeling very guilty, and before long Hamlet kills someone by accident, and then a bunch of other people die. It's four hours long We discuss rotten happenings in the st...
2019-11-2053 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Macbeth (2015)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 214...and don't let 'I dare not' wait upon 'I would' Macbeth (2015) tells the story of Macbeth. After hearing from some witches that he will be king, Macbeth decides to take matters into his own hands to move things along. Assisted by his wife, they kill the current king - but not everyone is happy about it. In fact nobody is happy about it. Especially Macbeth. This is one of the most visually spectacular movies you'll ever see, and we d...
2019-11-1354 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 213...and two days ago, I had this nice simple life. And now it’s a nightmare. Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) is the latest entry in the increasingly unloved and unwanted Terminator franchise, but with Tim Miller of Deadpool fame at the helm and with ol' Jimmy Cameron lurking in the background, can Arnie and Linda Hamilton wrestle the series back into shape? This latest entry follows Dani, who's quiet life is torn apart by the sudden arrival of Grace, an enhan...
2019-11-0652 minHow to SurviveThe Mailbag IntermissionHello. Because of various administrative issues, neither me or Joe were free to record our scheduled episode of the podcast this week - the long-awaited and keenly anticipated Terminator: Dark Fate episode will be next week instead. But in the meantime, I hope you enjoy this selection of messages from our Mailbag podcasts which, until this compilation, has been a Patron-exclusive. If you like what you hear, why not head over to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to check out our weekly Mailbag episodes, and our bonus episodes covering films chosen by our patrons.
2019-10-3033 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Joker (2019)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 212...and all I have Joe has are negative thoughts. Joker (2019) reimagines the iconic DC supervillain as the pitiful Arthur Fleck, clown-for-hire and aspiring stand-up comedian. Life is hard for the downtrodden Arthur as he struggles to make his mark against the backdrop of a Gotham City on the brink of chaos. Could a kindly neighbour, a shot at stardom and the identity of his absent father all prove a ray of hope for Arthur? Or, instead, will they precipitate his spiral int...
2019-10-231h 11How to SurviveHow to Survive: The Silence of the Lambs (1991)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 211...and he's a monster. Pure psychopath. So rare to capture one alive. From a research point of view, Lecter is our most prized asset. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) follows Clarice Starling on her quest to thwart flaying serial killer Buffalo Bill. To gain insight on psychopathic murderers, Starling is sent to interview Hannibal 'the Cannibal' Lecter, a convicted cannibalistic serial killer. But will her tricky assignment land her in more danger than she realises? We discuss if...
2019-10-1653 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 210... and these are ancient dream demons. Supposedly they roam the dreams of the living till they find the most evil, twisted human imaginable. Then they give him the power to cross the line and turn our nightmares into reality. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) tells the story of John Doe (no really), a young man who is used as bait to lure Freddy Krueger's child back to Springwood, so that Freddy can leave Springwood. Make sense? Well don't worry, I've seen t...
2019-10-0955 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Perfection (2019)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 209... and I was just entering, and I was nervous and excited, and I saw you. My hero... The Perfection (2019) tells the story of Charlotte, who has returned to the world of top-tier cello playing after a ten year absence. Charlotte had been caring for her mother who has now died, and appears to seek revenge on Lizzie, the cellist who replaced her as the favourite student of the cello academy owners. We advise everyone to always take the opportunity to...
2019-10-0248 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: It: Chapter 2How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 208... this meeting of the Losers Club has officially begun. It: Chapter 2 (2019) tells the story of the kids from the first movie. 27 years have passed and they've grown up, and they've forgotten about the events of the first film! But when they return to Derry, they're soon reminded and take on Pennywise again with renewed vigour. We advise on the dangers of playing with your food; the merits of moving away from your home town; and not standing around admiring th...
2019-09-2547 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Wailing (2016)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 208...it's started. You better brace yourself. The Wailing (2016) tells the story of Jong-goo, a police chief investigating a series of grisly murders in rural Korea. The murders are apparently linked to a mysterious disease afflicting the local population, and some believe the cause to be a strange Japanese man who has moved to the area. It's one of the most captivating films we've covered in some time. We talk sins, shame, shamans and charlatans, wonder how to spot the D...
2019-09-1853 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Grey (2011)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 207...I'm gonna start beating the shit out of you in the next five seconds, and you're gonna swallow a lot of blood for a fucking billfold! The Grey (2011) sees Liam Neeson walking the tundra, cosh in hand, looking for the first wolf bastard he can get his hands on. You see, his friend was the victim of a plane crash, and she dealt with it in the most extraordinary way, but his immediate reaction was...did she know who it was? N...
2019-09-1150 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: 28 Weeks Later (2007)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 205...and I couldn't do anything. I tried to go back. She was already gone. She was already gone. 28 Weeks Later (2007) (or 196 Days Later (732555) if you're a traditionalist) is the follow-up to Danny Boyle's seminal London-set apocalyptic horror. But with Danny absent can the sequel live up to the first film's weighty reputation? We discuss a post-pandemic city that's gone to the (Isle of) Dogs, debate Don's desperate decision-making, deride terrible guard detailing and comb through perhaps the worst possible ro...
2019-09-0447 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Night of the Living Dead (1968)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 204...and it has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and committing acts of murder. Night of the Living Dead (1968) is one of the all-time classics of horror cinema, and sets out much of what we now know and love about the zombie genre - an apocalypse without apparent cause, a not-so-safe place to hole up, ordinary folk in extraordinary circumstances and the nightmareish horde of the undead. We take a big old bi...
2019-08-2841 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Signs (2002)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 203...and please stop calling me 'Father' Signs (2002) tells the story of Graham Hess, a former pastor who lost his faith when his wife was killed in a tragic accident. Now Graham looks after his children and runs a small farm with his brother. All is fine, until crop circles appear - followed by several other symptoms of an alien invasion. We talk about swinging away without needing to be prompted; the benefits of hazmat suits when exploring an alien ter...
2019-08-2146 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Sixth Sense (2002)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 202...and look at my face; I was not thinking anything bad about you. The Sixth Sense (1999) tells the story of this person named Malcolm. He worked with children. He loved it. He loved it more than anything else. And then one night, he found out that he made a mistake with one of them. He couldn't help that one. And he can't stop thinking about it, he can't forget. Ever since then, things have been different. He's not the same person tha...
2019-08-1446 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Midsommar (2019)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 201...and don’t forget about all of the beautiful Swedish women you’ll meet in June. Midsommar (2019) tells the story of Dani, who suffers a family tragedy and throws herself into a trip to a Swedish midsummer festival in an attempt to work through her grief. She's joining her boyfriend Christian and his friends, but is this quaint paradise all it seems, and what do the mysterious Harga cult have in store for the group? Things get heated as we ch...
2019-08-0757 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive is now on Patreon!How to Survive is now on Patreon! If you like the show and want to support us, head over to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod, where you'll find bonus episodes and the opportunity to join our community and help fund more podcasts and videos. If you can't or don't want to support us - that's fine! Thank you for subscribing, you'll still get your weekly episodes here as per usual. As ever, thank you for all your support - we'll stop doing it when you stop laughing.
2019-07-3102 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989)How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod It's episode 200...and don't ask me to take a Jacuzzi with that guy again. A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989) sees Alice and Dan (how could you forget them?) getting their lives back on track and graduating high school. All seems well until Alice begins being plagued with strange dreams and, before you know it, her friends are dropping dead in their sleep - often with bloody results. We talk about one of the more interesting NOES sequels so far...
2019-07-3153 min
How to SurviveHow to Survive: Cannibal Holocaust (1980)Do you want the good news or the bad news? The bad news is this week is a re-broadcast. The good news is it's Cannibal Holocaust. I suppose that's actually bad news too on balance, but that's life. Can't win them all. Cannibal Holocaust (1980) tells the story of Harold Monroe, a sociologist sent into the Amazonian rainforest to find out what happened to a missing documentary crew. Cannibal Holocaust is honestly a terrible film. Don't bother watching it. I'm not even sure why we watched it. I think someone asked us to cover...
2019-07-2447 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010)It's episode 199...and they cut off his bowling fingers... Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) tells the story of Tucker and Dale, two country-folk and close friends who head into the woods to fix up Tucker's new country retreat. Unfortunately, they are mistaken for psychopathic murderers by a group of college students who are camping near-by, and hilarity ensues. We talk about the basics of putting up a load-bearing pillar; the benefits of avoiding being 'generally clumsy'; and the absolute essential nature of entering bodies of water at the waterline. All of which leads to...
2019-07-1747 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Shaun of the Dead (2004)It's episode 198...and there's a girl in the garden. Shaun of the Dead (2004) tells the story of down-on-his-luck Shaun. Dumped by his girlfriend Liz, stuck in a dead-end job and nursing a testy relationship with his step-father - he's desperate to turn his life around. Can he Go Round Mum's, Get Liz Back, and Sort (his) Life Out? Oh, and, there's a zombie apocalypse happening all around him. We talk about the place that does all the fish, mull over the lack of options for smokers in public places in the modern world, chew over...
2019-07-1055 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Dark Water (2002)It's episode 195...and I'll never leave you alone again. Dark Water (2002) tells the story of Yoshimi, a lady going through a messy divorce and custody battle for her daughter Ikuko. Their new apartment is far from ideal: there's a leaking ceiling, a surly building attendant, and there may or may not be the vengeful spirit of a dead child to deal with. J-Horror Season continues and concludes with this unsung star of the horror genre. We talk about the benefits of living like a prepper; we compare other 'sad horror' movies; and discuss why wraith-like g...
2019-07-0345 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)It's episode 195...and thank you for the effort. Ju-on: The Grudge (2002) tells the story of a brutal murder, a deadly curse and a house so haunted it stays with you wherever you go. We follow many different visitors to the deadly Saeki house - can any of them solve the mystery and - more importantly - will any of them survive? We kick off J-Horror season with somewhat of an ugly duckling, but an influential and creative ugly duckling nonetheless. We discuss Onryō, ask whether J-Horror is often scarier than Western horror, and delve into Jap...
2019-06-2639 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Cabin Fever (2002)It's episode 194... Jesus, Paul you did a number on my back... Cabin Fever (2002) tells the story of a group of horror movie teenagers who go to a cabin in the woods to 'party'. Unfortunately, there's an outbreak of a deadly skin eating virus, and the group are soon fighting to survive against the disease, some hillbillies, and each other. We talk about the importance of a robust personal sexual health system; we give advice to the world's least-travelled hermit; and we discuss the fundamentals of ad-hoc quarantine procedure. All of which leads to o...
2019-06-1951 minHow to SurviveJoe Shervell's Vegan HourIt's episode 1... and things are finally as they should be! Chris has been sacked and now Joe hosts the podcast all by himself, and everyone agrees it is much better now. It's goodbye to bad rubbish, as Joe gets to run the show how he wants. The reviews are more insightful; the jokes are much funnier; and The One True King finally gets to speak his mind. Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: No animals were harmed in the making of this podcast! There's even a secret easter egg for fans...
2019-06-121h 00How to SurviveHow to Survive: Wolf Creek (2005)It's episode 193...and that's not a knife... this is a knife! Wolf Creek (2005) tells the story of Ben, Kristy and Liz; three friends who are travelling around the Australian outback visiting tourist sites. When their car breaks down, they are assisted by Mick, a local hermit who may or may not turn out to be a lunatic who tortures and kills people. You'll just have to watch it to find out. We talk about the importance of striking out clear boundaries in a negotiation; the cost/benefit of closing the distance when using a ranged w...
2019-06-0543 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Snowpiercer (2013)It's episode 192...and my friend, you suffer from the misplaced optimism of the doomed Snowpiercer (2013) tells the story of Curtis and the passengers above the Snowpiercer, a super-train filled with the sole survivors of an accidental man-made ice age. Forced to live as an underclass, Curtis and his peers stage a violent rebellion and begin to fight their way up the train to take control. We talk about which train guards should carry the guns; the importance of telling your daughter the truth to prevent her becoming a drug addict; and the inherent nuisance of w...
2019-05-2959 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Train to Busan (2016)It's episode 192...and good riddance. Always giving to others instead of to yourself. Why did you live like that? What was the point? What a load of crap. Train to Busan (2016) tells the story of Seok-Woo, who just wants to take his daughter to visit her mother on her birthday. They board a train in Seoul, bound for Busan, but a zombie outbreak on and around the train causes disruption to their journey... We talk about the tight-rope walk of deciding whether to stay hidden or fight through zombies; the dangers of texting while driving; a...
2019-05-2255 minHow to SurviveBonus Episode: Chris and Joe chat about Avengers: Endgame & Game of ThronesBefore Chris and Joe sat down to record our podcast on As Above, So Below they had a pre-recording chat about Avengers: Endgame and a bit about Game of Thrones (but only up to penultimate episode The Bells). If you're not caught up on the MCU or Game of Thrones, consider this your spoiler warning! Don't expect huge revelations or insights, but do expect casual discussion of the right and wrong way to undercut fan expectations, being a canon nerd and the impact of Marvel on the film industry as a whole. We're back with ou...
2019-05-2012 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: As Above, So Below (2014)It's episode 191...and as I believe the world to be, so it is. As Above, So Below (2014) tells the story of intrepid historian Scarlett Marlowe who, along with her friend George, documentarian Benji and a trio of Parisian guides, enters the Catacombs under Paris to find the tomb of Nicholas Flamel, and maybe with it the key to eternal life. We take a descent through Dante's Inferno, have banters eternal, ask ourselves how much prior knowledge of historical literature should be expected for what appears to be a schlocky Hollywood horror, and stress the importance o...
2019-05-1557 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Titanic (1997) (again)In a move which is completely out of character, Joe accidentally watched the wrong movie in preparation for this week's show. As such, we're taking a week away from the studio while he gathers his thoughts, and we're re-releasing our 10th ever episode: Titanic (1997). Long time fans will love the trip down memory lane. New fans will wonder how we managed to squeeze out another 180 episodes... Tune in next week for the correct film: As Above, So Below (2014).
2019-05-081h 11How to SurviveHow to Survive: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)It's episode 190...and if the food don't kill you, the service will! We're back in Elm Street for yet another bout with Freddy in Renny Harlin's A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)! Kristen, Kincaid and Joey (how could we forget?!) return, but with Freddy vanquished at the end of The Dream Warriors, surely a happy ending awaits them all? Surely it won't all go wrong as the result of a dog pissing fire on a grave? Surely? We talk about baffling nursery rhyme-ex-machinas, roach motels, meta movie editing gags and ask ourselves whether w...
2019-05-0148 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Overlord (2018)It's episode 189...and three months ago, I was cutting grass on my front yard. The mailman shows up with a letter from the army. Now I'm here, and no idea where I'm going to end up. In Overlord (2018), what should be a straightforward air-invasion of Nazi-occupied France runs into trouble when Private Boyce and his colleagues find a Nazi zombie lab in a church basement. We discuss the risks of taking unlabelled medication; the merits of shooting dogs; and we ask whether a movie about mad Nazi-Scientists accidentally creating super-powered zombies pushes the limits of g...
2019-04-241h 01How to SurviveHow to Survive: Cam (2018)It's episode 188...and we're doing anything to get into the top 50... It's Cam (2018), which sees Alice's world turned upside down by an imposter on her cam girl channel. The imposter looks and sounds like Alice enough to convince her carefully cultivated audience, but does things Alice would never do. Who or what is behind it? We talk about the cost/benefit of faking an orgasm on webcam; why the decision to destroy one's own nasal passage shouldn't be taken lightly; and the merits of removing your body from an electrical circuit before turning it on.
2019-04-1740 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Us (2019)It's episode 187...and if you wanna get crazy, we can get crazy! This week Jordan Peele, the new darling of horror cinema, returns with Us (2019). Us tells the story of the Wilsons, a lovely middle-class American family who one night find themselves confronted by menacing doppelgangers. Can they survive, and uncover the wider conspiracy threatening to turn American society on its head? We unpack the myriad delights of Peele's thematically dense horror movie, confront impossible underground tunnels and chew over rabbit starvation - at least, I think we do. Maybe we've just been posing as...
2019-04-1053 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Happy Death Day (2017)Hey, it's episode 186, and now you've got to pick up the phone! Happy Death Day (2017) tells the story of a human called Tree who finds herself in a timeloop. It's her birthday, but someone is out to get her, and every time they do, Tree wakes up and is forced to relive the whole day again. We discuss the importance of covering your tracks when it comes to murder; the best thing to do when you've got unlimited time on your hands; and Joe's marriage is put to the test by a certain time-travelling actress...
2019-04-031h 06How to SurviveHow to Survive: Revenge (2017) It's episode 185, and we're back for more French fun and games. Revenge (2017) tells the story of Jen, an American socialite turned avenging angel who wreaks a terrible vengeance against three men who wrong her in brutal and bloody fashion. Seriously - it's brutal, bloody, and bloody brilliant. We discuss the supposed feminist inversion of the rape revenge genre, how much serious violence we can take seriously and whether too much villainous grandstanding can ever be a good idea? Plus there's a lot of chat about a man pulling glass out of his foot. ...
2019-03-2743 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Martyrs (2008)It's episode 184, and we're on the continent for feel-good French fun... Martyrs (2008) tells the story of Lucie, a young girl who is kidnapped and tortured as a child, but is able to escape. Years later, she seeks revenge on her kidnappers, but she (along with her friend Anna) get more than they bargain for... We discuss the worst helmet design of any experiment ever; the sheer arrogance of undertaking massive medical procedures yourself; and the very clear need for surgeons to wear gloves when handing out savage beatings. All of which leads to...
2019-03-2054 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Upgrade (2018)It's episode 183, and our memories are filled with every f*ck-up we've ever made. Upgrade (2018) tells the story of Grey, a mechanic who has his spine severed in a brutal mugging, in which his wife is killed. Now paralysed from the neck down, Grey is offered the chance to walk again when a shady tech wizard offers him a computer chip which can control his body. STEM is implanted, and Grey can walk again - but was it a bad idea to hand over control of his body to an artificial intelligence? (...Yes) We discuss t...
2019-03-131h 01How to SurviveHow to Survive: RoboCop (1987)It's episode 182, and if anyone tries to stop me, the old geezer gets it! RoboCop (1987) is the story of Alex Murphy, a police officer in dystopian Detroit who gets shot to bits by thugs and rebuilt as a part-man, part-machine enforcer. He's supposed to keep the peace, but does OCP, the shady corporation who built him, have an ulterior motive? Yes. Yes they do. We discuss the importance of iterative design, the faulty logic of kicking the groin of a metallic man, and why it should be less Cop and more Robo when it comes...
2019-03-061h 00How to SurviveHow to Survive: Evil Dead II (1987)It's episode 181, and we are the things that were and shall be again! Evil Dead II (1987) is Sam Raimi's cult classic follow-up to cult classic The Evil Dead (1981), and like all good sequels it doubles down on the splatter, chainsaws, and eyebrow-raising violence, once again starring the best eyebrow-raiser in the business: Bruce Campbell! We talk about maintaining basic sanitation in a remote, demon-plagued cabin; whether Raimi's style leaves us too busy laughing to ever be scared; and most importantly of all we discuss which power tools would make for the best prosthetic limbs in day...
2019-02-2743 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream WarriorsIt's episode 180, and good night darling. Say your prayers. Oh, by the way, your dad and I just torched some maniac last night. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) tells the story of Kristen, a young girl who is haunted by a marauding maniac in her dreams. That maniac is Freddy Krueger - and when she is placed in a psychiatric home for teenagers, she realises all of the other patients are also haunted by Freddy. Luckily, the main one from the original movie is now a dream doctor and she can help them out. No...
2019-02-201h 07How to SurviveHow to Survive: The Raid (2011)It's episode 179, and our mission is simple. We go in, and we take him out! The Raid (2011) aka The Raid: Redemption follows Rama, a member of a Jakarta Special Forces squad who embark on an ill-fated assault on a drug lord's compound. Twists and turns (of limbs) ensue, as well as punches, kicks, stabbings, shootings, bottlings, bannisterings, bulbings and defenestrations in one of the bloodiest and bloody-brilliant-est films we've ever covered. We talk about martial arts, musicals and Mad Dogs, why you should never antagonise a man with a gun who has a gun to...
2019-02-131h 02How to SurviveHow to Survive: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)It's episode 178, and there is nothing we can hold onto in this world. Only by letting go can we truly possess what is real. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) tells the story of Li Mu Bai, a fearsome warrior with 'last day on the job' syndrome, and Yu Shu Lien, another fearsome warrior who is in love with him. Before they can retire and live out their lives together, they must deal with Jen Yu, another fearsome warrior who is the daughter of a local official and Jade Fox, another fearsome warrior who killed Li Mu Bai's master...
2019-02-0658 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Bird Box (2019)It's episode 176, and that's something you can't unsee. Bird Box (2019) paints a post-apocalyptic world in which the mere sight of a mysterious supernatural entity causes people to die by suicide. Can Malorie, alongside her creatively named children 'Boy' and 'Girl', survive a harrowing 48 hour trip downriver in a raft, remaining blindfolded the entire time? Blindfolds at the ready as we discuss the vogue of sensory deprivation horror, the vagueries of Bird Box's world, the one time of day it makes sense to be blindfolded and the most important item to remember when embarking on a...
2019-01-2346 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Black Swan (2010)It's episode 173, and you could be brilliant, but you're a coward. Black Swan tells the story of amitious but anxious prima ballerina Nina, who is preparing for the dual starring roles in a revolutionary production of Swan Lake. But as the stress of her impending performance takes its toll, Nina's psychological demons come to the fore. We talk about the subjective vs. the objective, unpack the best depictions of mental health crises in cinema, cringe over the most overbearing of overbearing mothers, and Joe dishes out some well-researched advice to anyone looking to loosen up...
2018-12-1957 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Final Destination MarathonThe Final Destination franchise is a staple for horror movie fans. Despite having no clear antagonist, the threat of an inescapable and horrifically violent demise kept audiences glued to their seats for over a decade. The franchise is often requested by listeners, and Chris and Joe felt it was finally time to board the proverbial plane; pull out into the proverbial traffic; keep their hands and feet inside the proverbial vehicle; attend the proverbial Nascar event; and... get caught in the proverbial bridge collapse...? (That will have to do). In this special bonus episode Chris...
2018-11-2013 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: They Live (1988)It's episode 157... and I'm giving you a choice: either put on these glasses or start eatin' that trash can. This week, They Live (1988); a movie in which the wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper puts on sunglasses that allow him to see the hidden forces which capitalist aliens use to control the world. We stick it to the man with some personal finance tips for intergalactic overlords; the importance of adhering to a dress code; and Chris enjoys Joe's most concise and coherent quiz yet. Whatever happens, one things for sure: Mama don't like tattletales....
2018-08-2258 min
How to SurviveHow to Survive: Point Break (1991)It's episode 145...and do you think that taxpayers would like it if they knew that they were paying a federal agent to surf and pick up girls? This week it's Point Break (1991), and precocious 17-year-old Johnny Utah is spending the days with his family at their 17th-century villa in Lombardy, Italy. He soon meets Bodhi, a handsome doctoral student. Amid the sun-drenched splendor of their surroundings, Johnny and Bodhi discover the heady beauty of awakening desire over the course of a summer that will alter their lives forever. Wait a minute... Back in the real w...
2018-05-3050 min
How to SurviveHow to Survive: Raw (2016)It's episode 129...and bon appetit! Raw (2016) tells the story of Justine, a young vegetarian girl who begins a new life at veterinary school. She is met with intense initiation ceremonies, late nights, parties, and the sudden irrepressible urge to eat meat... of all kinds. We talk about the half-measures of vegetarianism; the importance of teaching your children about the risks of chicken as a gateway food to human; and Joe talks about being a vegan again. Obviously. Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I'm just getting milk, ok? Another classic film so...
2018-01-3142 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Home Alone 3 (1997)It's Christmas! Here is the first of 2017's How to Survive Christmas Specials Home Alone 3 tells the story of Alex, a young boy who becomes stricken with chickenpox. Alex's parents leave him home alone, which is unfortunate as his neighbourhood is under attack from four spies hired by the North Korean government to steal a missile chip from the US Air Force. We talk about the least appropriate children's movie villains in living memory; the least interesting and relatable protagonist in living memory; and we discuss of a set of injuries which would have Joe P...
2017-12-2453 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)It's episode 123...and this isn't going to go the way you think. It's nearly Christmas and that can only mean one thing - Disney have started up the Star Wars machine and churned out another episode of our favourite far, far away franchise. Set your phasers to lightspeed! Rian Johnson's The Last Jedi (2017) finds us once again following Rey, Finn, Poe, Ren and Luke, as well as some characters with more than one syllable in their names, as they venture across the galaxy to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and to...
2017-12-2157 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)It's episode 122...and I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) tells the story of a trio of bandits in search for buried gold, complete with all the betrayals, standoffs and shootouts you'd expect from the Wild West. Clint Eastwood starring as the enigmatic Blondie in what is undoubtedly one of the great Western cinematic epics, but will it be the Good, the Bad or the Ugly who wins the day, and the treasure? Only one way to find out... We...
2017-12-1345 min
How to SurviveHow to Survive: True Grit (2010)It's episode 121...and they tell me you're a man with true grit. True Grit (2010) tells the story of Mattie Ross, a precocious 14-year old farm girl who sets out to avenge her father's death with the help of cantankerous drunkard Rooster Cogburn and cantankerous teetotaler LaBoeuf. Together the trio trek across the Old West in search of justice, cornbread and - above all else - a coward by the name of Tom Chaney. We consider the Coens, debate the Deakins, field the question of field amputations and ask ourselves if it's better to be a...
2017-12-0656 min
How to SurviveHow to Survive: The Saw MarathonThe Saw franchise is one of the most successful series of horror movies in cinematic history, and with Jigsaw (2017) in cinemas now, Chris and Joe felt it was finally time to tackle John Kramer's sinister games - all in one sitting. In this special bonus episode Chris and Joe talk through their experience of watching through all 7 Saw movies for the first How to Survive video podcast. Though they talk through all the traps, twists and tantrums in the 11-hour long ordeal, there's really no replacement for watching the full video at HowtoSurviveShow.com All...
2017-10-3129 min
How to SurviveHow to Survive: Get Out (2017)It's episode 86... and a the worst sequel to Meet the Parents yet... Get Out (2017) tells the story of Chris, a young black man who is visiting his white girlfriend's parents for the first time. Once at their secluded home, Chris passes off their overly accomodating behaviour as awkward friendliness, but as the visit wears on, he begins to realise everything is not as it seems. We talk about the importance of calling out racism wherever you see it; the difficulties of taking photographs using only natural light; and just how essential it is not to b...
2017-04-0552 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Exorcist (1973)It's episode 79... and possession is nine tenths of the law... The Exorcist (1973) tells the story of Chris MacNeil, a hollywood actress whose daughter, Regan becomes possessed by a demon. Will enlisting the help of a local priest be enough to save Regan's soul? We talk about the necessity of stringent diagnostic criteria in modern medicine; the benefits of trusting your colleagues in tense situations; and the importance of listening to experts of all kinds - especially when you've brought them in to do a specific job. All of which leads to one big qu...
2017-02-151h 17How to Survive[Re-Upload] How to Survive: Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)This is re-uploaded because iTunes didn't like the last one... It's episode 35! Start your engines. mirror, signal and manoeuvre - it's time for a high speed death chase on the Fury Road! Witness! Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) tells the story of Max... a man who is mad. Max finds himself assisting in a rescue mission. The ringleader of the operation is Imperator Furiosa who is trying to save five women from sexual slavery at the hands of the evil tyrant Immortan Joe. The only problem is, Joe wants the women back, and is willing to chase...
2016-05-0345 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)It's episode 35! Start your engines. mirror, signal and manoeuvre - it's time for a high speed death chase on the Fury Road! Witness! Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) tells the story of Max... a man who is mad. Max finds himself assisting in a rescue mission. The ringleader of the operation is Imperator Furiosa who is trying to save five women from sexual slavery at the hands of the evil tyrant Immortan Joe. The only problem is, Joe wants the women back, and is willing to chase them to the ends of the earth. We talk about...
2016-04-1345 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Martian (2015)Episode 14 of How to Survive is out of this world! We're talking about survival tactics for Matt Damon in The Martian (2015). The Martian tells the story of Mark Watney, a Mars astronaut who is left behind on the planet after an accident. He must spend the next few years surviving against the brutal Martian elements while his pals at NASA think of a way to get him home. We talk about how believable each character's portrayal is, how to exploit real-world scientific phenomena to survive in the movie's fictional events, and the monumental collective cost...
2015-11-1844 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Friday the 13th Part II (1981)In the eleventh episode of How to Survive, Chris and Joe return to the Friday the 13th saga, with Friday the 13th Part II. The film is a facsimile of the first film in terms of: characters, themes, writing, expectations. However, it is nonetheless a great film to discuss - particularly when considering how to survive. We talk about all the equal opportunities Jason affords people of all physical abilities; Jason's missed career as an engineer; and the inherent give-and-take of safety in deliberately luring a bear to become your protector. All of w...
2015-10-2848 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Titanic (1997)This week, Chris and Joe are talking about Titanic (1997), and how they would survive if they found themselves aboard the doomed voyage. Titanic is a part love-story, part disaster movie, part horror, part survival movie, part historical drama and part documentary. An emotional roller coaster which secured its place as the biggest blockbuster in history (...until Avatar came and blue it all up). We talk about the complete lack of sensible decisions made by Rose; how smelling ice could be beneficial; the relative merits of steering INTO the iceberg; and how to make use of...
2015-10-211h 09How to SurviveHow to Survive: Everest (2015)This week, Chris and Joe are talking about Everest (2015). The high-action retelling of the '1996 Mount Everest Disaster'. In a break from usual form, this episode was deemed inappropriate for analysis of 'how to survive'. The film tells the story of real people who were qualified professionals in climbing. It would be an insult to their expertise - and their memories if we (non-climbing experts) pointed out where they went wrong. Instead, we discuss the merits of one of the year's most exciting and enthralling action movies; the accuracy of the portrayals of each character, a...
2015-10-1439 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)This week, Chris and Joe are talking about The Hills Have Eyes (1977), and how they would survive if they found themselves lost in the desert, hunted by a family of mutant cannibals! In memorial of master of modern horror, Wes Craven, we're digging into one of his most famous movies - and tearing it to shreds. The Hills Have Eyes is shocker-horror at its finest (and simultaneously at its worst). Featuring gender politics that would make Michael Bay blush; an exploitative use of a genetic disorder in casting; and a plot which inexplicably treads a fine...
2015-10-0740 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)This week, Chris and Joe are talking about A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), and how they would survive if they found their dreams invaded by the demonic child murderer, Freddy Krueger! In memorial of master of modern horror, Wes Craven, we're digging into the movie which is undoubtedly his most lasting legacy - and tearing it to shreds. A Nightmare on Elm Street is one of the classics of modern horror. Bringing us one of the most iconic pop cultural figures of the 80's, kickstarting Johnny Depp's career, and taking special-effects-based horror to a new le...
2015-09-3045 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: The Loved Ones (2009)This week, Chris and Joe are talking about The Loved Ones (2009), and how they would survive if they were strapped to a chair and tortured with power tools! Don't be mistaken - The Loved Ones isn't full on torture-porn (though it does stray into that territory). This is a story of shocks, survival, and unsettling surprises. If you haven't seen the film, watch it now. It's a hysterical thriller which doesn't let up. We talk about Lola, one of the hidden gems of modern horror; myriad escape opportunities completely missed; a policeman more Inspector Clouseau tha...
2015-09-2347 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Misery (1990) This week, Chris and Joe are taking on an obsessive fan - it's 1990's classic horror, Misery! Misery is adapted from a Stephen King novel of the same name, and tells the story of Paul Sheldon (James Caan), a writer who is kidnapped by his number one fan - Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates in an Oscar winning performance). As this thriller progresses, the question turns from survival to escape, making it a natural choice for us to discuss. We talk about one of the finest vocabularies of any movie character in history; the lack of in...
2015-09-1641 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Jurassic World (2015)This week, Chris and Joe are talking about Jurassic World (2015), and how they would survive if they came up against the Indominus Rex! Jurassic World is part sequel, part re-boot, part trip down memory lane. A fun thrill-ride which ticks all the boxes of a summer blockbuster - including absolutely ludicrous decisions made by characters in their attempts to survive. We talk about the complete lack of corporate resposibilty shown by every member of a multi-billion dollar corporation; the difficulty of keeping the world's most deadly land animal a secret during its rampage; and the app...
2015-09-0944 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Alien (1979)This week, Chris and Joe review Alien (1979), and discuss how they would survive if they were passengers on-board The USCSS Nostromo. Alien is the ultimate story of survival in a tight space. The movie is widely held in the top horror movies of all-time, features some of the most iconic scenes in modern cinema, and spawned a multi-million dollar franchise. We talk about the complete lack of initiative shown by a galactic starship captain; the benefits of a solid medical checklist procedure; and the age old question: should you save the cat? All...
2015-09-0238 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: It Follows (2014)In this episode of How to Survive, Chris and Joe review the recent horror movie It Follows, and discuss how they would survive the events of the film. We've all had a romantic encounter which we went on to regret - but what if your romantic encounter left you cursed to be stalked by a demonic, murderous wraith for the rest of your life? That's the premise of It Follows, and naturally it leads to some very interesting discusssion. You'll hear all the ups and downs of this contemporary classic, including a tense d...
2015-08-2656 minHow to SurviveHow to Survive: Friday the 13th (1980)In the first episode of How to Survive, Chris and Joe review the original Friday the 13th, then discuss how they would survive the events at Camp Crystal Lake. Despite having a questionable script, two-dimensional characters, and a plot which is both predictable and incoherent, Friday the 13th remains the quintessential horror movie - and the original slasher film. We talk about all the highs and lows of this classic movie, including the incredible feats of strength employed by an old lady; a slew of tragically preventable bad decisions; a criminal amount of time dedicated to...
2015-08-1547 min