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Somebody Write ThisRight (Episode 71, w/ Jonathon Pernisek)"A rock group and a young Christmas loving dog take action." Okay, they take action to... what? Why would a dog love Christmas? And what is that title referring to? Our guest Jonathon Pernisek of the Musical Man podcast is here to help us work through it! Check out Jonathon and his work at @musicalmanpod on Twitter or wherever you listen to podcasts.
2022-09-0134 min
How Rude! The Full House Podcast158. Michelle Rides Again (Parts 1 and 2)Well, here it is, gang, the very last episode of How Rude! The Full House Podcast. There really isn't much to say here because we honestly left it all on the field during our recording. A sports metaphor? Here? And now? You know it, baby. Here are the returning voices you'll hear during this big ass finale: Eddie Klinker, Molly Jones, Lindsay Lewin, Johnny Kyle Cook, Brian Holden, Clayton Margeson, James Dugan, Bill Nielsen, Tony Springs, Alyssa Davis, Hope Rehak, Fred Pelzer, Chris Johnson, Matt Kidd, and Alex Marianyi. They're amazing people, as are all 134 honorary Rude Dudes and everyone who has l...
2017-07-171h 48How Rude! The Full House Podcast157. BONUS: Sugar and Spice Advice / Hip, Hip, Parade!Brandon and Jon are back for one final bonus episode, and for this solemn occasion they're bringing two more torrid tales from the world of FH literature. In "Sugar and Spice Advice", idiot mop Stephanie decides she's old enough to run her own business before proceeding to run said business into the ground. Stephanie, you may be able to cook (under special circumstances), but the world of business? She ain't for you. She's ain't. FOR YOU. I mean for God's sake, she considers naming her business Good Food. What the fuck is wrong with this person? In "Hip, Hip, Pa...
2017-07-101h 10How Rude! The Full House Podcast156. All Stood UpEthan Link (co-host of the Don't Quote Me podcast) is a yummy little macaroon ally of the LGBT community and our FINAL honorary Rude Dude. But that doesn't mean we treated Ethan any differently, no-no-no, far from it. Ethan, like his 133 predecessors, had to watch a perilously awful bit of television, and that bit of television is known as "All Stood Up". Jesse and Kimmy are at war. DJ and Michelle are at war. Stephanie and her new beau Ryan? Oh, they be at war, especially after Ryan makes the mistake of standing up our poor, sweet, dumb as p...
2017-07-031h 12How Rude! The Full House Podcast155. Leap of FaithWill Biby (proud cat owner and former resident of Mulkeytown, IL) is our penultimate guest, which means he had to sit down and watch a particularly tiresome retread of an episode known as "Leap of Faith". Remember the what has to be nearly a dozen episodes in which Jesse worries about losing his mojo? Remember how in every single one of them he learns family is more important than risking your life for a cheap thrill? Well, now Becky gets to learn that lesson. Except, no, in this instance she learns that taking a risk can be exhilarating, especially...
2017-06-261h 03How Rude! The Full House Podcast154. Up on the RoofBallroom dancer and Holidazzle alumni Grace Pelzer joined us this week to watch and discuss "Up on the Roof", in which Joey's latest business venture proves to be his stupidest and DJ's attempt at campus levity results in a man's death. Wait, does it? Does this end with a murder? I can't really remember in hindsight. Look, there's a sweaty security guard and a principal who rocks a toupee, that much I do remember. Meanwhile, Brandon is defending the Dust Buster, Jon is leading an improv workshop, and the group is reflecting on senior pranks, skips, and struts. It's...
2017-06-191h 11How Rude! The Full House Podcast153. Taking the PlungeBo Durham is a master of confectionary creations and his redneck wedding is going to knock your socks off (because no one wears socks to a redneck wedding). He's an honest to God Wizard of Oz ruby red gem and we're so glad he joined us to discuss "Taking the Plunge". DJ didn't get into Stanford and she's bummed. Kimmy didn't get into a single school she applied to and she's genuinely depressed. Everyone cares about DJ, no one gives a genuine shit about Kimmy (not really). It is in this moment Kimmy finally realizes what she needs to...
2017-06-121h 14How Rude! The Full House Podcast152. We Got the BeatBryan Duff doesn't understand why a World Class Stick Man like John Stamos has been relegated to TV while someone like George Clooney is considered an A-lister. What happened? What is George's secret? They were both on ER! We take a hard look at the 3rd Batman's resume while also discussing Don Rickles, lawnmowers, and how Gia is not Hillary Swank, who is herself not Jennifer Garner. Oh, and I suppose we also discuss "We Got the Beat", in which Stephanie humiliates herself by being less prepared for a talent show than small children. One of those small children i...
2017-06-051h 03How Rude! The Full House Podcast151. Dateless in San FranciscoBill Nielsen (host of the So Many Bits podcast) may wind up taking home the prize for Best Childhood Catchphrase. It's honest to God adorable and I would never spoil it here, you'll just have to exercise some patience and hear it for yourself! Bill joined us to watch and analyze "Dateless in San Francisco", in which Danny frets over a Valentine's Day date with Claire (who we never actually seen onscreen, in a clear display of cutting production costs); Aunt Becky frets over the dimming ember that is her love life; Stephanie tries to woo a straight up...
2017-05-2942 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast150. Air JesseAlyssa Davis was a wave and a hungry American child. Alyssa Davis is a fan of her manatee, Mr. Jelly Bean. Alyssa Davis will always be a member of the How Rude! family. It's all true! This week we're watching / discussing / groaning over "Air Jesse", in which Jesse feels the sting of homophobia (for once) when it's revealed he knows absolutely nothing about basketball. Ha! Imagine! A man not knowing about basketball! To be fair, he didn't give a shit about the Super Bowl, so this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Meanwhile, Stephanie has made Becky a...
2017-05-221h 12How Rude! The Full House Podcast149. My Left and Right FootThomas Kelly is another proud member of the We Love Aunt Becky Fan Club. Aunt Becky is kind, smart, and a great mother. Aunt Becky is a beautiful, bodacious babe. And she deserves a hell of a lot more than the callous, petty monster that is Uncle Jesse. It's not like we needed more proof of this, per se, but "My Left and Right Foot" is more than willing to serve it up. It also makes more than a bit of time to examine Michelle's fragile psyche, a delicate glass bauble that shatters with the realization that her feet...
2017-05-151h 13How Rude! The Full House Podcast148. Super Bowl Fun DayChris Woolsey is pretty sure you can't waltz into a dive bar like Weeb's with a bunch of small children. He's pretty sure Aaron's father is a disgusting creep and he's pretty sure a hat that has its own HANDS is a fashion no-no. You know what we're pretty sure about? Scratch that, we're certain: Chris is a fabulous fellah and a fantastic honorary Rude Dude! This week we're discussing "Super Bowl Fun Day", in which Joey's decision to become an Official Fan of Football leads him to act like a total fucking asshole, even if it means screwing ov...
2017-05-081h 02How Rude! The Full House Podcast147. The ProducerChristine Wines adores cooking shows, celebrity news, and a neoprene beer koozie. She's totally chill and nuts-o bananas, the perfect Rude Dude to have by your side while wading through "The Producer". Yes, once again we have to watch a wretched Danny Tanner wrestle with his own ego as Becky rises through the ranks of Wake Up, San Francisco. There's way too much going on at the periphery of this episode, from DJ and Stephanie's infantile obsession with sweets to Joey's snack food crisis and Jesse's inability to discipline his kids. "Wait, how many times has this show talked a...
2017-05-011h 13How Rude! The Full House Podcast146. D.J.'s ChoiceLauren Walker is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and she is more than a little suspicious of the "park vandal" subplot that resides within "D.J.'s Choice". And for good reason, since it really, really reeks of white suburbanite disdain. But you know what cures white suburbanite disdain? Wiping. Wiping will cool the embers of this outrage. Quick, the rags! To the slide, everyone! WE MUST WIPE! Elsewhere, D.J. is being torn between two guys who cannot stop yanking on her Goddamn arm. Nelson: Maybe use some of your money to take a gender politics c...
2017-04-241h 13How Rude! The Full House Podcast145. Arrest Ye Merry GentlemenAasia LaShay Bullock and Jon are in agreement when it comes to Santa: He is not necessary. If you want to raise your children sans Claus, then you should do it and save yourself the trouble of spinning progressively more complicated lies. Brandon Shockney does not agree with this opinion. Brandon's grip on the joys of Santa is like that of a bear trap upon your very leg. It is unyielding. It is dangerous. And it is probably going to kill us with time. But enough about Brandon being crazy. It's Christmas time at the Tanner house once more! "...
2017-04-171h 11How Rude! The Full House Podcast144. Under the InfluenceKip "Kippy" Reiserer has so many genuinely great / mildly disturbing stories about living the frat life you'd need at least two Late Plates to get through them at all. He's just the Rude Dude you wanna have in the room when watching / discussing "Under the Influence", in which Kimmy acts like a total asshat at her first frat party and manages to dig up a ghost from DJ's past in the process. That's right, we're finally going to learn about how Pam died. Finally. In season EIGHT. We're also going to talk about food maids, group showers, and pass o...
2017-04-101h 10How Rude! The Full House Podcast143. Stephanie's Wild RideLisa Beasley has mastered the escalators and navigated the mall and its many splendors. She is between five and six Subway sandwiches high and was slash is a fan of Full House, so does that make her an honorary Rude Dude? Yes, of course it does, you dumb dummy. She's great! We were so happy to have her by our side as we watched and discussed "Stephanie's Wild Ride", in which Steph and Gia meet a pair of impossibly stupid high school boys and Michelle's hazily defined video game becomes an obsession for the adults in the Tanner home...
2017-04-031h 11How Rude! The Full House Podcast142. PREVIEW: At the TrailersTake a peek at our forthcoming podcast venture with this special pilot recording! We tackle the last week in movie trailer releases and rate them according to a scientific system: Stub It, which means we'd pay to watch it on the big screen; Stream It, which means we'd be willing to rent or check it out via Netflix or a similar service; or Skip It, which means we're likely never going to see it in our lifetime. What do we cover in this session? Check it out: The Boss Baby / The Last Face / Black Butterfly / My Cousin Rache...
2017-03-291h 00How Rude! The Full House Podcast141. Claire and Present DangerTyler Samples (Rabbit Hole: A Wikipedia Podcast / The tl;dm Podcast) only had access to ABC as a child, so his television diet consisted entirely of nothing but TGIF programming. He's seen 'em all, my puppies, and that includes "Claire and Present Danger". What's it about? It's about Claire. Well, no, it's not really about Claire. It's about how Claire dating Danny affects Michelle's position in the childhood peking order, and she's not about to have that disrupted. "Oh-uh! I do not think so!" She's livid. Meanwhile, Jesse is trying to make good at a "sold-out" Smash...
2017-03-271h 06How Rude! The Full House Podcast140. BONUS: Truth or Dare / Problems in ParadiseThe boys are back and they're bearin' the books once more for a boo-tiful bonus ep, my bonnie babes! Jon kicks things off with a report on "Truth or Dare", the first in a Club Stephanie trilogy in which the middle Tanner sister finds herself caught between romance and professional aspirations while at Camp Sailaway. Can she achieve her CIT dreams and capture the hearts of a lovely, luscious, oh so lickity-splickity Luke? Jon will never know because again, this is the first entry in a trilogy, and he's never going to read the other two. Oh well! Then B...
2017-03-201h 01How Rude! The Full House Podcast139. On the Road AgainMegan Brennan may not be the genetic equal of the Olsen twins, despite what her mother may say, but she knew the importance of rules from an early age and how optimism can help you avoid life's phantoms. The world can be a terrifying place, what with the terror of Sneaky Petes, the terror of chicken nugget babies, and the terror of improvising your steps at an Irish feis. That's why we needed Megan as we watched "On the Road Again", a traumatizing tale of fathers and father figures trying their best to bend a nearly grown ass fucking a...
2017-03-131h 02How Rude! The Full House Podcast138. You Pet It, You Bought ItJames Dugan knows exactly what he wants from his entertainment, whether it be from the TGIF lineup or the Power Rangers canon, so when he tells you this week's episode of Full House is nonsense, you better believe 'im, baby. "You Pet It, You Bought It" is honest to God one of the stupidest things we've watched since we started this enterprise in May of 2014. It's just straight up about Michelle buying a donkey and that's pretty much it. There are Civil War gags, there's an endlessly reoccurring bit about the Three's Company theme, but beyond that, there is...
2017-03-061h 05How Rude! The Full House Podcast137. To Joey, With LoveGeoff Dow spends an inordinate amount of time watching YouTube videos that actively call the viewer's sanity into question. He's a Wood Pusher, a Gladiator lover, and his artistic skills cannot be matched, at least when it comes to sketching one of our beloved Rude Dudes. Can you say the same for yourself, kind sir or madame? I thought not! Geoff joined us to watch and discuss "To Joey, With Love", the first example of a FH episode where the title has honest to God fuck all nothing to do with its plot. Seriously, why is this called "To Jo...
2017-02-271h 07How Rude! The Full House Podcast136. BONUS: Mary-Kate and Ashley: Sweet 16 – Licensed to DriveClayton Margeson returned to the How Rude! studio just so he could spend an inordinate amount of time playing Mary-Kate and Ashley: Sweet 16 - Licensed to Drive, a Gamecube title that defies logic and thumbs its nose at the very idea of fun. Seriously, this is a bummer of a game, and we honestly feel sorry for the poor kids who actively sought it out or received it as an ill-advised gift. But hey, if you always thought the Mario Party games were a little bit TOO varied and moved a little TOO quickly for your taste, you're gonna...
2017-02-201h 03How Rude! The Full House Podcast135. I've Got a SecretSometimes the content presented in a random episode of 'Full House' reflects the experience of our guests all too well, and that's the case with Damian Anaya. His story about a particularly secret Secret Club is just delightful and we can't wait for you to hear it. Yes, it's time to discuss "I've Got a Secret", a 20+ minute chunk of nonsense that's stuffed to the brim with plot. Michelle is dealing with her batch of doofus chums, Kimmy is sending DJ into a jealous froth by going out with Nelson, the Dads are making back alley bargains with The S...
2017-02-131h 11How Rude! The Full House Podcast134. Making Out Is Hard to DoSurena Marie's first party had all the conventions of a TV sitcom: Saying you're going over to a friend's house? Check. Teenagers drinking? Check. Sneaking back home without anyone noticing? Check and check! So you can see how she could relate to "Making Out Is Hard to Do", in which Stephanie stumbles into a steamy lip-lock marathon hosted by bad girl Gia. Except ... do make out parties exist? Have they ever existed, or are they merely the creation of creeps who write for TV sitcoms? The world may never know. Plus: Jesse is having his 40th mid-life crisis, Jon is...
2017-02-061h 09How Rude! The Full House Podcast133. BONUS: You Again? / Topsy-Turvy HouseThe Rude Dudes are on their tummies for another delightful bonus episode ... but are those tummies ... filled with ... pizza-pizza? No-no-no. Too early for pizza! Instead they gorged on heaping helpings of 'You Again?', a 1986 sitcom in which John Stamos and Jack Klugman bounce off each other in true Odd Couple style, and 'Topsy-Turvy House', the honest to God Russian adaptation of 'Full House' in which a creepy as fuck ginger monster dotes on frightfully skinny children. Neither is ESPECIALLY compelling, but hey, you're not here for the content. You're here for those goofy, doofy, oh-so poofy Rude Dudes! R...
2017-01-3041 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast132. Breaking AwayMike Migdall has a girlfriend. Okay? Do we have this down? He's also our guest and the latest in a long line of honorary Rude Dudes, which means we made him sit through the thoroughly uninteresting and wildly pointless "Breaking Away". Yes, it's finally time for Nicky and Alex to enter preschool. Remember when they were admitted into that fancy preschool like ... two seasons ago? Well, NOW it's time for them to go. Except now they're just going to some public skank ass preschool so I guess absolutely no one in that writer's room gave a flying fuck. We ca...
2017-01-231h 00How Rude! The Full House Podcast131. Comet's Excellent AdventureLindsey Smith had a dream of one day visiting the mysterious and exciting world of her local (dilapidated) mall's Under 18 dance club. Alas, like the dreams of sitcom characters we know all too well, her dreams were stymied ... by FAMILY. Oh, family, when will you set us free? Why do you pin us to the earth when we so long to FLY? Lindsey, otherwise known as Boss Mommy, is here to help us discuss "Comet's Excellent Adventure", in which Jesse's dream of being a rock star officially dies because no one will leave him the fuck alone for two G...
2017-01-161h 13How Rude! The Full House Podcast130. MARATHON: The Complete 7th SeasonSometimes it's difficult to see the forest for the trees, and sometimes you have to say fuck the trees and burn down the forest if you hope to make it out alive and with your sanity intact. That's why we invited Brad Pike back to watch and discuss EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of 'Full House' Season 7. Those episodes: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night; The Apartment; Wrong-Way Tanner; Tough Love; Fast Friends; Smash Club: The Next Generation; High Anxiety; Another Opening, Another No Show; The Day of the Rhino; The Prying Game; The Bicycle Thief; Support Your Local Parents...
2017-01-091h 33How Rude! The Full House Podcast129. Fuller House: New Year's Eve CountdownBrandon and Jon are ringing in the New Year by taking some recent feedback to heart and trying something different for the podcast. This week they're deconstructing "Fuller House: New Year's Eve Countdown", which is about the Fuller House characters counting down to the New Year on New Year's Eve. We hope you enjoy the trivia and our overall explanation of what happened. XOXO
2017-01-0238 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast128. Fuller House Season 2 (Part II)Justine Krueger is back to help us sift through the remains of 'Fuller House' season two: A Tangled Web! Glazed & Confused! New Kids in the House! DJ and Kimmy's High School Reunion! Nutcrackers! Happy New Year Baby! We got through every single sloppy second of it and were pleasantly surprised to find that it's actually better than the former half of the season ... in some ways. Pro: Multiple black actors are given speaking roles. Con: The show decides to give Max a girlfriend in a display of bizarre, difficult to quantify homophobia that is honestly astonishing. Important note: We're t...
2016-12-2854 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast127. Fuller House Season 2 (Part I)Carlos Luna is back in the Rude Dude Studio to discuss the first SEVEN episodes of 'Fuller House' season two. "Welcome Back" introduces us to the Ashton Kutcher xerox of a xerox that is Jimmy Gibbler. "Mom Interference" introduces us to CJ and Crystal, characters I'm sure we'll all grow to love over the next twenty seasons of this Goddamn show. "Ramona's Not-So-Epic First Kiss" introduces us to the Irish culture while freaking Brandon right the fuck out. "Curse of Tanner Manor" introduces us to Halloween while "Doggy Daddy" introduces us to a dog who can really take a ho...
2016-12-121h 15How Rude! The Full House Podcast126. BONUS: My Best Friend Is a Movie Star! / The Story on Older BoysBrandon and Jon are back and their bellies are fit to burst with boffo bonus babies, baby. That's right, they're giving birth to little bonus babies. Isn't it beautiful and also a word that starts with "b" that is synonymous with disgusting? This time around your intrepid Dudes are forsaking screens and diving into the world of fine literature with "My Best Friend Is a Movie Star" and "The Story On Older Boys". In the former, poor Michelle must contend with the fact that some people are more treasured than her if she's ever going to make a rich...
2016-12-051h 15How Rude! The Full House Podcast125. BONUS: RadFlip on your snit and bop on your soggy bounce because it's time for another delicious / nutritious bonus episode! This week our tummies our full of pizza once more as we discuss the 1986 Bill Allen / Lori Loughlin vehicle 'Rad'. It's the timeless story of a white guy who wants to do something and everyone else is like "No way!" and the white guy has to take a stand be all "YES way." Have you seen any number of underdog sporting flicks from the '80s? Then you 100% know what you're getting into with this nonsense: Gouda good music, villainous y...
2016-11-2848 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast124. The House Meets the Mouse (Parts 1 and 2)Numbs 1: Meghan Murphy is a fantastic, extraordinarily funny person and we were so happy to have her serve as our latest honorary Rude Dude. Numbs 2: She's an enormous Disney nerd and an expert when it comes to their theme parks, which makes her the perfect person to discuss "The House Meets the Mouse". Is it little more than a 40-minute commercial for people who were on the fence about visiting Walt Disney World? Of course not, and we wouldn't have it any other way. Numbs 3: Brandon got a black eye while riding a damn roller coaster and only his Mo...
2016-11-211h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast123. Prom NightRob Grabowski of the Remake podcast and Le Cordon Bleu College of Culinary Arts in Chicago joined us just in time to mourn the death of democracy ... in more ways than one. True, Trump is our next President, and that's beyond horrifying, but what the fuck is going on at Steve's senior prom? Who's counting THOSE votes and why are we assuming they have our best interests at heart? All I'm saying is that if Kimmy and Gorilla had been taken seriously as candidates they would have been wearing those crowns at the end of the Goddamn day. But no...
2016-11-141h 10How Rude! The Full House Podcast122. Room for One More?Nathan Kaplin could have gone to his very grave without having seen a second of the nonsense that is 'Full House'. But what happened to him? We happened to him, we did, we did. We took Nathan, we sat him down, and we made him watch "Room for One More". Fine, we didn't *make* him watch it. We asked him very nicely and he agreed to do it. But even so. Even so! We ruined this young man and for that we should be punished. Punish us. "Room for One More?" is all about Jesse and Becky wanting to...
2016-11-071h 06How Rude! The Full House Podcast121. Grand Gift AutoMay Tilden took a short hiatus from writing wedding jingles to help us deconstruct "Grand Gift Auto", in which Uncle Joey desperately tries to assert himself as a person worthy of the family's respect. Can he do it with flashy material goods? Can he do it by appealing to the Tanners' basic human decency? No. And no! You will never be truly loved, Joey, you simple, dithering fool. YOU WILL NEVER BE TRULY LOVED. In the midst of this discussion we also make time to plan a Broadway in Chicago revival of 'Grease!' and solve a maddening food...
2016-10-311h 07How Rude! The Full House Podcast120. BONUS: Baby DaddyBonus episode? Bonus episode! To celebrate the Halloween season, Jon and Brandon filled their tummies with pizza and are on the floor to tell you all about "Strip or Treat", the 4th season premiere of Freeform's 'Baby Daddy' sitcom. Our experience with 'Baby Daddy' taught us a few things: Straight male friendships are awesome and uncomplicated, young women are shrews, old Moms don't deserve pleasure, and Latin men are mucho-mucho sex gods. It's a moldy, lame show, is what we're trying to say. We also make time to pitch Brandon's new idea for a series and ask an all to...
2016-10-2446 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast119. Subterranean Graduation BluesCaitlyn Schwimmer is our honorary Rude Dude for the week as we tackle "Subterranean Graduation Blues" from top to bottom. What else do we do? We learn about bar and bat mitzvahs. We tuck in with an icy bowl of Coldies and Cream. We examine Caitlyn’s tomboy / girly girl aesthetic. We diagnose Spacey Lady. We discover a trilogy of Candace Cameron films that simply must be covered in the near future. We create an appropriately disgusting ad campaign for El Bloato. We learn about a cat named Jafar. And we swap terrifying train tales. What more could you want? Wha...
2016-10-171h 04How Rude! The Full House Podcast118. Please Don't Touch the DinosaurJack Felker is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and she knows a few things to be true: Dinosaurs are real. You should never come at her thinking you know more when it comes to Boy Meets World trivia. And the little boy from Brooklyn is probably her son. This week we’re trying our best to move through “Please Don’t Touch the Dinosaur”, in which Stephanie cleans Joey’s disgusting car and Michelle destroys a hastily thrown together, four million dollar exhibit. We also conceive of a brilliant series for Netflix (well, we have the brilliant title, at leas...
2016-10-101h 04How Rude! The Full House Podcast117. Silence Is Not GoldenCollin Dahlgren (otherwise known as Brad Pike's nemesis) joined us for what is unfortunately one of the most depressing episodes of 'Full House' in existence. And not simply because it involves child abuse! "Silence Is Not Golden" also makes room for a disgusting gentleman known as the Funny Buddy when it's not being distracted by atrocious book report antics. It's proof that maybe not all shows were cut out to tackle the inherent challenges of a Very Special Episode, is all we're saying. What else do we got? Well, Joey is the last living citizen of Dresden, Comet is...
2016-10-031h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast116. The Heartbreak KidBrad Pike thinks you have a beautiful singing voice and that you're a ten! He also thinks your daddy-daughter dance was absolutely disgusting. What is wrong with you? And what the fuck is wrong with poor Michelle in "The Heartbreak Kid"? She's fallen in love with her sister's man and no one is setting her straight. Wake up, you dumb baby, HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU. Meanwhile, Jesse is wrangling with his new Xbox 360, Danny and Joe are at each other's throats over a phantom woman from their past, and sexy Garfield is making everyone cum. Yum-yum! X...
2016-09-261h 10How Rude! The Full House Podcast115. Be True to Your PreschoolJames D'Amato of the One Shot podcast is here to assure us that lying is fine. In fact, lying could get you exactly what you want, even if people discover you have been lying. It's great! That's what we're supposed to take away from this week's Full House adventure, right? In "Be True to Your Preschool" our resident toe-headed chicken nugget barf blobs are trying to get into Snob Academy and the only thing standing in their way is their own father. Meanwhile, Kimmy is tooling around in The Wild Thing, a car that belongs to an unseen character...
2016-09-191h 05How Rude! The Full House Podcast114. Birthday BluesSubi Shah and Cher Vincent are no strangers to the world of deconstructing television: As the hosts of 'Gossip Girls' they know what it means to tackle a show one episode at a time, but they were smart. They picked a show they actually, actively enjoy, whereas we've trapped ourselves in a padded cell with a dopey sitcom we basically can't stand. Thankfully, Subi and Cher agreed to help us bear this wretched cross by watching "Birthday Blues", the episode in which Kimmy finally calls everyone on their shit. Why do they hate her so fucking much? Because her...
2016-09-121h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast113. The Dating GameIan Williams may have had his career as a professional ironing board surfer cut tragically short, but that didn't stop him from being our 101st honorary Rude Dude. We'll hear all about Ian's creepy daycare pal, his first date at the age of sixteen, and get a world premiere catch phrase by the time this comes to a close. Unfortunately, we'll also have to putter through "The Dating Game", which is ... not great! Everyone is trying to capture the elusive magic of the "perfect" first date: Stephanie is trying to court Josh, who may or may not be gay dum...
2016-09-061h 09How Rude! The Full House Podcast112. A Very Tanner ChristmasMary Catherine Curran rolled over to the studio on her fly as hell Pepsi bike because she's our 100th unique guest and that's how she fucking operates. M-Cat joined us for "A Very Tanner Christmas", in which the two youngest daughters learn an important (offscreen) lesson; Steve alters his life plan for DJ, and Becky complains about the gilded cage she has built for herself. Other items on the agenda: Michael Jordan, too much tickling, and sexy dangerous spank bank cinema. Remember, everyone, it's the people that make Christmas special, not the presents, and if someone wishes you a ha...
2016-08-301h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast111. Designing MothersLilliana Winkworth showed up for the podcast wearing a fabulous loofah costume and she is not apologizing for it because it is 2016, baby! Join us as we review "Designing Mothers", in which Danny must once again tackle his fear of change and the Rush Hour Renegades fear for the soul of rock and roll. Will a new woman in Danny's life ruin his chances for happiness? Will a new woman in the lives of the Renegades ruin their chances for happiness? Do women just ruin shit all of the time, is that what we're supposed to fucking get from thi...
2016-08-221h 00How Rude! The Full House Podcast110. I'm Not D.J.Greg Yates braved the insanity that is Chicago's Market Days celebration so he could record our 110th episode and for that we thank him. We thank you, dear Greg, for sitting with us and watching "I'm Not D.J.", in which Topanga and Brace Face (AKA "the Jennifers") pressure poor Stephanie into getting her ears pierced. Is she ready? Should she have placed her trust in Kimmy, a girl who is only trying to help but is consistently demonized by everyone around her? Perhaps only Stephanie can answer these questions. She is an individual, after all! Oh, but back t...
2016-08-151h 04How Rude! The Full House Podcast109. Nice Guys Finish FirstWe learn a lot in this episode: We learn that the childhood fears of honorary Rude Dude, Gabi Moloney, were more than justified when you look at the terrifying evidence. We learn that doing 'shrooms in the forest comes with some basic safety rules you can't afford to ignore. We learn how Emma is a total butt. And we learn that Jon should never be the editor for a sleazy tabloid mag. But more than anything we learn that Michelle has lost her grip on the power she once wielded so effortlessly, all because a Norwegian Goat Boy and...
2016-08-081h 04How Rude! The Full House Podcast108. The Play's the ThingTJ King could not be more relaxed. With his authentic Japanese fan he is able to cool himself with minimal effort, and he has the sort of confidence one needs when you're a turtle who learns how to fly. He's got that X-factor, baby, and you can't teach that shit! Join TJ and your lovable co-hosts as we dive into "The Play's the Thing", in which an amazing young man named Derek destroys Michelle's world with the kind of talent she'll never possess. EVER. In other news, Danny is fucking with Becky's routine and Steve is being a whiny lit...
2016-08-011h 07How Rude! The Full House Podcast107. Trouble in Twin TownMatt Kidd faced the scorching summer heat to tell us all about his foul-mouthed grandmother, gossip-loving mother, and appreciation for twins with bountiful bottoms. Speaking of twins: Twins! There are way too many twins in "Trouble in Twin Town". There are also way too many fucking plots! Becky's snooty cousins are in town for the local twin expo and Jesse is determined to slap the silver spoons that are currently in their mouths so he can make them eat crow. Eat crow, you slob-hating snobs! Stephanie is pulling a "get smooched quick" scheme on a pair of mouth-breathing dum-dums. Be...
2016-07-251h 07How Rude! The Full House Podcast106. Educating JesseAlex Marianyi is a man who stands on his own two feet. Alex Marianyi is trying to take your dinnertime prayers seriously. Alex Marianyi loves your fried hair and doesn't want you to change. He is also our honorary Rude Dude for the week, which means he had to sit through and help us dissect "Educating Jesse". That's right, Jesse is going back to school after revealing a secret that completely undermines everything we've heard about him in the past. It's a laughably stupid retcon ... but what are ya gonna do? At least it allows us to cut away...
2016-07-181h 03How Rude! The Full House Podcast105. Lovers and Other TannersPhoebe Stonebraker is a modern farmer with a passion for rollerblading and slut wave music. She's also our honorary Rude Dude for the week as we return from our holiday break. What's happening with the Tanner clan this time around? Well, for starters, DJ and Steve are in mother fucking LOVE, baby, and there's nothing the patriarchy can do to stop them from kissing like two hesitant mannequins. Vicky's flown in from Chicago and Danny will have to put up or shut up in the feelings department. Coming in dead last is the Joey and Jesse plot, in which...
2016-07-111h 01How Rude! The Full House Podcast104. Radio DaysJacob Eugene Horn joined us just as the summer heat ramped up and reduced us to little more than slaphappy goons. It's that time of year, folks, so strap in! We learn all about Jacob's siblings and their ghost story terror tactics. We also get a breakdown of his entire history with bands, most of which sported truly dreadful names. But ya know what we also talk about? A stupid. Little show. Called. 'Full House'. This week it's "Radio Days", in which Jesse's dashed dreams of superstardom in Asia are replaced by a desperate need to work at some...
2016-06-2757 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast103. Road to TokyoJyreika Guest may have had a "come to Jesus" moment while watching this week's episode, "Road to Tokyo". The scales may have fallen from her eyes and what was once must-see TV now may seem just a tad ridiculous. Maybe. Spoiler: Definitely. Join us and the Tanner family as we take a journey to the other side of the world and bear witness to Jesse's fall from grace. The B-Plot Department is working overtime as Stephanie breathlessly awaits a call from a dummy, Michelle digs her way to Tokyo, Joey actively tries to bug the shit out of Danny...
2016-06-201h 01How Rude! The Full House Podcast102. The Long GoodbyeI heard Clayton Margeson of the Talking Games podcast joined us this week. Is this a false assertion? Nah dude. Join us as we kick around "The Long Goodbye", in which everyone is dealing with some sort of separation anxiety. Danny and Vicky are worlds apart and their genitals are suffering for it. The distance between Jesse and his children grows as he continues to make them "men". Finally, Michelle and Teddy's friendship is being threatened ... and one of them will do whatever it takes to keep it intact. Whatever. It fucking. TAKES. Also: Brandon is demanding more from our...
2016-06-131h 04How Rude! The Full House Podcast101. Come Fly with MeAlex Nichols is the first new guest after five weeks of marathons and one week of nauseating porn coverage, and we couldn't have been happier to have him in the studio. Join us as we cast a wary eye on "Come Fly with Me", the season six premiere that reveals how quickly Nicky and Alex grew over the course of one summer. Even more inexplicable is Stephanie's "introduction" of Steve to the Tanner family. God fucking dammit, Full House, Steve is not a new character! Sure, you have one throwaway line about how DJ dated him in S5, but yo...
2016-06-061h 03How Rude! The Full House Podcast100. BONUS: Full HolesCasey Sapphire (aka Eddie Klinker) joins us for a third time to help cover the utterly disgusting and not at all funny 'Full Holes'. The women seem troubled, the men are possible sex criminals, and we are largely clueless as to the so-called parody's intended audience. In other news, Brandon and Eddie are making a lot of progress with their Looney Tunes XXX project and Jon discovers the porn role he was meant to play, whether he likes it or not. Uh! Uhhh! UH! UHHH! XOXO
2016-05-3035 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast99. MARATHON: Yours, Mine, and Ours - Captain Video (Parts 1 and 2)Libby Schreiner is back and with her return we can finally put S5 in the ground. Pick up a shovel, get yourself a good scoop a dirt, and say goodbye. Thank you, Libby, thank you for setting us free. And thank you, Marvin, for being a fuzzy little dog pal who kept us sane during our screening of the following six episodes: Yours, Mine and Ours; The Trouble with Danny; Five's a Crowd; Girls Will Be Boys, and both parts of Captain Video. Highlights? Oh, we got highlights for ya. How about a deconstruction of Brandon's intimate seduction techniques? O...
2016-05-231h 10How Rude! The Full House Podcast98. MARATHON: Crushed - Driving Miss D.J.Johnny Kyle Cook and Brandon Shockney agree: Jon touches his face way too Goddamn much. Are they right? Are they wrong? Perhaps we'll never know! What we do know is Johnny has returned to help us burn through YET ANOTHER five episodes of the classic (?) sitcom's fifth season. Those episodes: Crushed; Spellbound; Too Much Monkey Business; The Devil Made Me Do It, and Driving Miss D.J. There's a lot to unpack here, including appearances by singer Tommy Page and a straight up fucking monkey. Did the monkey send Jon down a conspiratorial rabbit hole worthy of JFK? Yes. I...
2016-05-161h 06How Rude! The Full House Podcast97. MARATHON: Nicky and/or Alexander - Play It Again, JesseMarie Maloney had no idea pushing through five episodes of 'Full House' would be this difficult. By the time we were done ... man alive. We were positively slap happy! Join us for this, the third of our S5 marathons, a journey that takes us through Nick and/or Alexander; Bachelor of the Month; Easy Rider; Sisters in Crime, and Play It Again, Jesse. Consistent themes appear throughout this chunk of programming: Women are emotionally hysterical, Michelle is a self-obsessed little shit, and you should always sacrifice your needs for the needs of the hive mind. OBEY THE WILL OF TH...
2016-05-091h 06How Rude! The Full House Podcast96. MARATHON: The Legend of Ranger Joe - Happy Birthday, Babies (Parts 1 and 2)The fucking straight up adorable Nico Carter is BACK for the
second of our S5 marathons! This week we watched The Legend of
Ranger Joe; The Volunteer; Gotta Dance, and both parts of Happy
Birthday, Babies. Guys, this is getting tough. We are burning
through so much content and it's probably going to kill us in the
end. Luckily, Nico brought us free Cards Against Humanities
expansion packs (he works for the company, don't ya know) and he
was wearing a ridiculous onesie throughout our entire session. What
more could you want? Maybe you'd like to hear about his...
2016-05-021h 05How Rude! The Full House Podcast95. MARATHON: Double Trouble - The King and IJoey Gilmore is BACK and that can only mean one thing: That's right, it's marathon time once again! We're actually covering S5 of 'Full House' exclusively via marathons, so we hope you're ready for the return of many an old friend. It'll be a blast and we'll save so much sweet, sweet time. We only have so much time allotted to us by God, fair children. Do you hear the ticking of the clock? Anyway, we covered five episodes this week: Double Trouble; Matchmaker Michelle; Take My Sister, Please; Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Girl Gone?, and...
2016-04-251h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast94. Fuller House (2016) - Save the Dates / Love Is in the AirCole Hersch knows what it means to compete with a younger brother. Cole Hersch knows what it means to covet that which you loved so dearly in the past. Cole Hersch knows what you should and should not do to a vagina. He is also our guest and honorary Rude Dude for the week! Join us as we discuss the last two episodes of 'Fuller House' S1: 'Save the Dates', in which the show aggressively doubles down on the nostalgia, and 'Love Is in the Air', in which DJ and Kimmy are faced with important choices and refuse to a...
2016-04-181h 03How Rude! The Full House Podcast93. Fuller House (2016) - A Giant Leap / Partnerships in the NightRobyn Novak is snug in her cocoon-like blanket, passing those snacks around like they're going out of style. She knows what she wants in a man and this world cannot stop her! Who better than Robyn to help examine "A Giant Leap", in which Stephanie faces the ire of disgusting baseball fans, and "Partnerships in the Night", in which the entire Fuller clan co-opts Indian culture for their amusement? No one, that's who, and if you disagree perhaps we can bring Dick Tracy into the mix. What's that? You don't wanna fuck with Dick Tracy? Smart move. Also on t...
2016-04-1157 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast92. Fuller House (2016) - Secrets, Lies and Firetrucks / War of the RosesCarol Olsen's left foot is cursed and she earnestly believes all baby animals outrank human babies in the cuteness department. In this post-9/11 world can we afford to think any differently? Carol joined us to discuss "Secrets, Lies and Firetrucks" and "War of the Roses". The former sees Max using the ghost of his dead Dad to secure bragging rights at a birthday party. The latter sees a frothing Becky trying to solve the mystery of 1,000 roses and to whom they belong. What do roses cost in this post-9/11 society? Are spiders animals? Why can't Brandon pronounce "Jumanji"? Look...
2016-04-041h 01How Rude! The Full House Podcast91. Fuller House (2016) - The Legend of El Explosivo / Ramona’s Not-So-Epic PartyEmma Robertson is a staunch defender of 'Mrs. Doubtfire' and believes that anyone who can accept a film like 'Superman' shouldn't disrespect Robin Williams' greatest achievement. And hey, creepy bar patrons? Why don't you keep your insipid questions and compliments to yourself? Try that for a change, dumdums! Emma joins us in the studio to discuss both The Legend of El Explosivo and Ramona's Not-So-Epic Party. In the former, Max and Jackson get into all kinds of shenanigans during a Mexican wrestling match. n the latter, Ramona turns 13 and everyone is failing in the love department. Also on deck...
2016-03-281h 03How Rude! The Full House Podcast90. Fuller House (2016) - The Not-So-Great Escape / Mad MaxRosie Moan may have a case of the sniffle phlegm-flams but that did not stop her from meeting us at 9:30 in the morning to watch "The Not-So-Great Escape" and "Mad Max". What do you do when you're sick, huh? I bet you don't do jack all! Kidding, love you, never leave, never leave. In "Escape" ol' Ramona is looking for a way out of her new life, Stephanie can't pay for overpriced coffee, and Max finally picks his puppy. In "Mad Max" the titular boy with a passion for pizzaz freaks out when Aunt Stephanie flies off to play...
2016-03-2159 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast89. Fuller House (2016) - Moving Day / Funner HouseAmber Linde is a major fan of the Holy Trinity: Full House, Saved by the Bell, and California Dreams. So when she tells you she's a fan of the '90s sitcom you can tank that assertion to the bank. Take it. To the bank! Amber joins us as we fully commit to 'Fuller House' and its oh so modern family antics. That's right, we won't be returning to the original show and its 5th season until we're done covering what Netflix has to offer, so stream along with us, ya nuts. In 'Moving Day' DJ faces the classic c...
2016-03-141h 02How Rude! The Full House Podcast88. MARATHON: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, The Graduates, Rock the CradleElizabeth Kirkwood is BACK for what is easily the slap-happiest podcast we have ever recorded. We're wrapping up season four of the original sitcom, which means we tackle 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun', 'The Graduates', and 'Rock the Cradle'. The first episode sees DJ manipulating her cool Aunt Becky so she can lock lips with a boy named Ryan. The second sees Michelle graduating from preschool while Danny tries to fuck a college student (seriously). The third sees Becky getting Eggo Preggo! I know, right, who could have seen it coming? WHO COULD HAVE SEEN IT? Next week we'll r...
2016-03-0758 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast87. Fuller House (2016) - Our Very First Show, AgainHow Rude! is LIVE with returning guests Eunji Kim, Eddie Klinker, and Kristin Ramsey! We had a blast talking about the premiere episode of 'Fuller House', in which DJ scams her way into a free house and co-parents in the form of Stephanie and Kimmy. New characters include the kids (Max, Jackson, Ramona) and Kimmy's wildly gay ex-husband, Fernando. It's ridiculous, it's emotionally manipulative, and our guests basically loved it.
An enormous amount of gratitude goes out to Zach Sigelko and everyone at the Lincoln Loft for welcoming us with open arms. We couldn't have pulled this of...
2016-02-291h 11How Rude! The Full House Podcast86. BONUS: BeastlyJon and Brandon are full of pizza and on their tummies, which can only mean one thing: It's a supplemental episode!
This time around we're discussing the 2011 film 'Beastly', a lukewarm distillation of the classic fairy tale that utterly fails to deliver its "substance over appearance" message. On the plus side, it does feature Mary-Kate Olsen as a straight up bug nutty witch, and they make room for a "blink or you'll miss it" White Castle promotion that left us reeling. Get your nasty ass sliders out of my young adult adaptation! Remember, our live event is th...
2016-02-2248 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast85. Joey Goes HollywoodTony Springs is a dancer and choreographer by trade, which means he has a lot to say about the Laker Girls' appearance in "Joey Goes Hollywood". He'll also take time to explain the flimsy premise behind his childhood nickname and why his middle school was basically the Thunderdome. Meanwhile, little Jon is screaming about apples and Bully Brandon is passing out some signature Back Attacks. Did we watch 'Full House' this week? OF COURSE WE DID. "Joey Goes Hollywood" is all about Joey being cast in a pilot that, if it existed in the real world, would only have b...
2016-02-151h 03How Rude! The Full House Podcast84. Stephanie Plays the FieldShantira Jackson already knows how she feels about your crown molding and chances are it's not in the best of shape. She's the daughter of a master carpenter: SHE KNOWS. We were so happy to have Shantira as an honorary Rude Dude this week as dove into "Stephanie Plays the Field", which (hand to God) makes Stephanie choose between self-respect and TRUE LOVE. Off the field, Michelle is determined to prevent the conception of more children who might upstage her. You think you're primed to fuck? You ain't primed for shit. Also: The insane history of Barry Manilow, professional...
2016-02-081h 01How Rude! The Full House Podcast83. The Hole-in-the-Wall GangJames Bumanglag may have had most of his childhood obscured by a blanket but by gum he's 27 now and he can visit any bridge that strikes his fancy. Ya hear that, MOTHER? Any bridge he fancies! James is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and together we deconstructed "The Hole-in-the-Wall Gang". What happens in this one? Well, there's a hole. DJ and Stephanie make the hole. And Michelle is forced to watch the hole. Then the hole goes away. No more hole! The end. Spoiler: James essentially loved every second of it. Question: Does Brandon actually know anything...
2016-02-011h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast82. Fuller House (1991)Marla Depew knew how to see through Big Fashion when she was knee-high to a grasshopper. As an adult, she knows what it means to make adult decisions, and adult decisions don't take into account the fleeting whims of a toddler. Becky and Jesse may wanna take a tip from this week's guest as they wade through the events of "Fuller House", in which Michelle throws a salty-eyed tantrum and Stephanie doesn't know fuck all about fractions. Also in this episode: Jon divulges his teen browser history, Brandon once again holds his "only child" status above everyone else, and Ma...
2016-01-251h 01How Rude! The Full House Podcast81. The Wedding (Parts 1 and 2)LIVE SHOW DETAILS: How Rude! is taping its first live session at The Lincoln Loft (3036 North Lincoln Avenue) on Saturday, February 27 at 7:30 PM. The event is free to attend so come celebrate your favorite podcast as we watch the first two episodes of 'Fuller House'. We'll be joined by special guests from podcasts past and it's gonna be great!
Fred Pelzer knows all about what it means to get married. Picking out suits, select the best venue, locking down the all important cake ... he's seen it all! So who better than him to help us dissect both...
2016-01-181h 10How Rude! The Full House Podcast80. A Fish Called MartinANNOUNCEMENT: How Rude! is hosting its first live event on Saturday, February 27 at the Lincoln Loft, located at 3036 North Lincoln in glorious Chicago. Time TBD! Join us as we welcome back some of our favorite former guests to discuss the first two episodes of 'Fuller House'. It's gonna be a dang hoot!
Cat Abood may not be the biggest fan of sports but ya know what she does enjoy? The warm shot of beautiful nostalgia delivered by Nurse Full House. This time around we're tackling "A Fish Called Martin", in which the Tanners try to explain death to M...
2016-01-111h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast79. Stephanie Gets FramedErin Schaut has so many fantastic stories it would honestly be a bummer to spoil them here. Needless to say, she's more than able to relate to "Stephanie Gets Framed", in which the titular Tanner takes advice from Steve Urkel himself. Should she take advice from someone who instantly repels everyone he meets, a guy who wears his acid wash jeans so high that his dick has all but vanished into a newly formed body cavity? No. Meanwhile, Jesse is torn between Danny and Joey when it comes time to pick a best man and Michelle learns how she us...
2016-01-041h 09How Rude! The Full House Podcast78. Ol' Brown EyesJohnny Kyle Cook is a fan of John Stamos' plump ass, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't top Danny Tanner in a heartbeat. Join him and your ever reliable co-hosts as they dive into "Ol' Brown Eyes", in which Danny is determined to hijack DJ's fundraiser just so he can prove he's super duper cool. Doesn't Danny understand DJ's school needs to buy a new COM-PEW-TER? Danny, you fool! Did we mention Michelle understands the concept of petty vengeance? She understands the concept of petty vengeance now. Also on the docket: Old school computer games, "homo" music, and the...
2015-12-281h 04How Rude! The Full House Podcast77. Working GirlMatt Mayerle doesn't think people would pay to have their music constantly interrupted. Brandon thinks otherwise. Jon is going to make a lot of money with Flip Foam. None of them had fun watching "Working Girl", in which DJ gets a job as some creep's Happy Helper just so she can get a pair of Blowouts. Unfortunately, her grades suffer as a result, and Kimmy's penchant for garbage forgeries isn't helping the situation. But that's not all! You're gonna get some prime Pizza Tower stories and the Gibbler Guarantee, so sit your sweet booty down and relax, kiddo. XOXO
2015-12-211h 05How Rude! The Full House Podcast76. Happy New YearLou Leonardo related to this week's episode of 'Full House' in a way he could have never expected, and the story he tells is truly one for the ages. Join us we discuss "Happy New Year", in which poor Joey is pressured to find a date and winds up "falling in love" with the first woman who happens to enjoy rollerblading. We were running on a low laptop charge this time around, so unfortunately the episode does wrap up pretty quickly. That said, we did discuss Lou's catch phrases after recording, and they were "Yahtzee!" and "At the end o...
2015-12-1449 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast75. Danny in ChargeSteven King has portrayed Jesus, lorded over his own Mother, and found himself in one of Hollywood's seedier corners after a particularly disastrous taping of 'Deal or No Deal'. We're gonna unpack all of that but today's main objective is a calm, rational discussion of "Danny in Charge", in which the Tanner patriarch totally drops the ball while Joey and Jesse are off fucking animals somewhere in the woods. It's a mash-up of forgettable plots that had us longing for the creative risks of "Secret Admirer", if that tells you anything. Thank you, Steven, for being our Rude Dude fo...
2015-12-071h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast74. Secret AdmirerMolly Jones may be a little confused as to the chronology of the Austin Powers films but that doesn't mean we love her any less! Molly is a wonder and we were so happy to have her in the studio for this, a stirring discussion of 'Secret Admirer'. Rusty is back and he's determined to destroy the Tanner clan, this time by way of sexual confusion. But what Rusty could never predict ... is that he could fall in love in the process. Oh love, how you play with our minds! We shall learn all about Molly's lifetime infatuation with...
2015-11-301h 01How Rude! The Full House Podcast73. Terror in Tanner TownChris Johnson is an adorable Gooby who has enough catch phrases to fill a large sack. He's simply the best! Join us as we wade through the muck and mire that is "Terror in Tanner Town", a bracing look at one little boy's descent into madness. Rusty isn't here for your comedy or your pot roast or your basic as fuck love. Rusty knows what makes this world move and it's chaos, baby. Pure, unbridled chaos. We'll also learn why a magic cat who controls the cast with marionette strings would make for a better viewing experience, as well a...
2015-11-231h 05How Rude! The Full House Podcast72. MARATHON: Viva Las Joey, Shape Up, One Last KissFAIR WARNING: The audio for this podcast includes a large amount of crackle, due to us possibly picking up some random feedback while recording. On the plus side, it has been filtered through GarageBand's Cool Jazz Combo setting, so said crackle isn't nearly as distracting as it was upon first detection.
Our second marathon session means the return of a beloved Rude Dude and this time around it's none other than Kristin Ramsey! Kristin may have pulled a muscle in her back but she was bound and determined to watch three crummy episodes of 'Full House' for yo...
2015-11-1659 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast71. BONUS: Full House! The Musical Parody!SPOILER ALERT: 'Full House! The Musical Parody!' is a Goddamn delight, stuffed to the gills with deep cut references to the sitcom's history and enough raunchy material to make Jon blush (and that is certainly saying something). Hilarious performances, straight up show stopping numbers, what's not to love? Check out our group interview with co-writer and co-director Bob McSmith; Seth Blum; Marie Eife, and Meg Halcovage to find out more about their experience with the show. They're an amazing group of people and you don't wanna miss out on this, trust.
Get your tickets today by...
2015-11-0918 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast70. BONUS: Never Too Young to DieYou may think you've consumed all of your Halloween confectionary but look again! Peer into your spooky plastic pumpkin and I'm sure you'll find this, a delicious bit of podcasting for your oh so hungry ears. It's a supplemental episode this time around, which means your hosts are on their tummies once more to bring you their thoughts on an early John Stamos credit. 'Never Too Young to Die' is a fevered mash-up of the James Bond and Mad Max aesthetics, which means it makes little to no sense and features some of the worst music you're likely to fi...
2015-11-0248 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast69. A Pinch for a PinchPeter Kim is disgusted by parents who kiss their children on the mouth and that is just one of the many reasons why he fits right in with the Rude Dude crowd. Peter is on hand to help us dissect "A Pinch for a Pinch", in which Jesse's Mutually Assured Destruction theory of parenting leads to Michelle discovering a lust for petty violence. You cut me? I cut you. Two go in. NONE COME OUT. Speaking of coming out, Peter was a very sassy, very gay teenager who held his evangelical beliefs close to the chest, but you'll hear...
2015-10-261h 06How Rude! The Full House Podcast68. Good News, Bad NewsLiz Larrimore may have been a know-it-all as a child but she grew up to have the kind of discerning eye that can identify a douchebag. One such douchebag: Dave Coulier, who "performed" for her college freshman orientation. Liz sat down with us to discuss Mr. Coulier as well as "Good News, Bad News", another episode in which Kimmy and DJ work together and everyone else suffers as a result. On a similar note, Becky and Danny co-host a terrible TV show and no amount of rebranding is going to change that. Do you notice the audio ping-pong tick-tack? Lo...
2015-10-1958 minHow Rude! The Full House Podcast67. Slumber PartyWARNING: This episode features a fair amount of hammering in the background (not a ton but a fair amount) and there's a bit of audio clickety-clack as well (but again, just a bit, so stay calm). With that said, please welcome our latest honorary Rude Dude, Carlos Luna! Aside from having a fantastic surname, Carlos is an avid fan of the sitcom and has many a theory about the world in which the characters live. Join us as we JFK the shit out of "Slumber Party", in which a bunch of horrible little girls and their mothers refuse to co...
2015-10-121h 01How Rude! The Full House Podcast66. I.Q. ManThis is now officially a mandate: Samantha Woodman is the second guest to bring us a treat without us asking and so from now on we are definitely asking: Will you bring us a treat when you sit down with us, future guests? We've had baklava and beer so you're gonna have to bring us something new. Something yummy or refreshing! Look, enough about our insatiable appetites for treats, we need to talk about "I.Q. Man". Can Jesse resist the allure of an older woman who wants to fuck his brains out on an oddly functional bathroom set...
2015-10-051h 08How Rude! The Full House Podcast65. Crimes and Michelle's DemeanorHope Rehak is the first honorary Rude Dude who brought us dessert (baklava) and from now on we expect dessert from all of our guests. Here are some ideas for those future guests: Donuts. Pie. Gingersnaps! Hope is also just an all around fantastic individual and we were happy to have her for "Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor", an episode that doesn't live up to the dread its title inspires, if only by so much. Look, we've been saying this for over a year now: Michelle is a horrible monster tot who has been begging for a comeuppance and now i...
2015-09-281h 09How Rude! The Full House Podcast52. Joey & Stacey and ... Oh Yeah, JesseToday's episode features Brandon and Jonathon and ... oh yeah, Sarah Dell'Amico! But unlike Stacey from this week's particularly disorienting chunk of Full House, Sarah is an absolute joy. Come along with us as we dive once more into the world of advertising and discover why it makes no Goddamn sense whatsoever. And hey, if you've been searching for inspiration for that Comet/Mr. Bear fuck fiction, search no more, weary traveler. Additional docket topics include cocktail wieners, the joys of a good hotel room, and why Florida probably shouldn't be your choice for young romance. It's a hoot and you...
2015-06-291h 06
How Rude! The Full House Podcast45. Granny TannyWell, let's just get this out in the open: I, Jon Pernisek, truly am the worst. At a certain point during this episode I completely make an ass out of myself and for that I apologize to my co-host and buddy, Brandon. I am sorry, Brandon! That said, let's focus on the positives, like this week's wonderful guest, Alison Lynch! She's here to help us discuss "Granny Tanny", a timely episode in that it focuses on Moms. Who are mothers? What are mothers? Why do we love and adore them so much, especially when they turn into fancy Grandmothers...
2015-05-111h 03
How Rude! The Full House Podcast23. D.J.'s Very First HorseToby McMullen rode his fly as hell, awesome as fuck skateboard to the studio so he could aid in our discussion regarding D.J.'s Very First Horse, in which the oldest of the Tanner girls makes some startling discoveries while on the back of a strong, noble stallion named Rocket. Spoiler: Jonathon gets particularly graphic when describing said discoveries, but if you're allowing children to listen to this podcast that's clearly your mistake, not ours. Toby is a big ol' goof and we loved having him on the show, so let us know you feel the same way...
2014-10-051h 12
How Rude! The Full House Podcast11. Sisterly LoveKristin Ramsey swam to us from the depths of a mermaid sea to figure out Sisterly Love, in which everyone is systematically trying to crush DJ's dreams of becoming a famous actor. A miniature Meryl Streep? FORGET IT, DJ. Kristin also waxes nostalgic on her star-making turn as Grandma VonShlapshtick, and trust us, every second is worth your time. If you've been on board so far and have yet to leave us a glowing review in the iTunes Store, here we are, Brandon and Jonathon, on our knees, asking, "Puh-witty pwease?" Nah, we're too rude for that. 'Cause we're...
2014-07-131h 03
How Rude! The Full House Podcast01. Unaired Pilot / Our Very First ShowJonathon Pernisek and Brandon Shockney kick off How Rude! The Full House Podcast by deconstructing both the original, unaired pilot (starring John Posey in place of Bob Saget) and the first official episode, Our Very First Show. Newsflash: Full House may not be a great series. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to contact us at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com.
2014-05-0458 min