Shows
The Unwritable RantDressing room dry humps, mounting a work of art, and glorious expectationsJuliette considers the size of her liver, meets a work of art, holds a bear hostage, makes out in a state of grace, waits out a relationship, chooses her own call girl adventure, sits in her own nightmare, and considers a savior. Be sure to check out Juliette’s new cooking podcast, That One Thing. Every episode she features one ingredient and recipe to elevate your everyday cooking. That One Thing podcast https://sites.libsyn.com/445113
2023-04-3020 minThe Unwritable RantRecreating Woodstock, gas can booze, and Crazytown on wheels On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette discusses hurricane preparation, plans a Rock ’N Rollin Eve with Crazytown, negotiates like a rodeo clown, books a fantasy, deals with soap scum, melts down, eyes a thong leotard, forgets an exit strategy, meets Lady MacDeath and the Barbie Beaters, accepts the inevitable, and declines the leftovers.
2020-09-1930 minThe Unwritable RantTouching privileges, eating my own heart, and a Homecoming intervention On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette sends soap flying, enters an arrangement of convenience, appreciates a stronger cadence, considers homecoming, dates an older guy, rejects a steady stream, wears a flower bomb, reconsiders misgivings, enjoys three dances, attempts to break grip, endures stares, and walks away with the best alternative. This episode is sponsored by Sacred Hollow, a modern witch box service. Visit SacredHollowBox.com for more information
2020-09-0525 minThe Unwritable RantConditional couples, garage sale hot plates, and a social scorecardOn this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette is too much to invite back, debates the conditions of friendship, meets The Oscars, breaks out her deranged microscope, refuses to connect imaginary dots, attends a murder-free block party, makes a gross mistake, sets a garage on fire, and accepts a blip on her social scorecard. This episode of sponsored by Sacred Hollow, a modern witch box service. Visit www.SacredHollowBox.com for more information.
2020-08-2923 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Fee Waybill from The Tubes On this interview episode, Juliette and her guy talk to Fee Waybill, frontman for the band The Tubes. Fee discusses his new rock album "Fee Waybill Rides Again" as well as The Tubes history, relationship with producer David Foster, experiences working on Xanadu and with choreographer Kenny Ortega, and friendship with Richard Marx. This interview originally ran on the Virtual Happy Hour YouTube show.
2020-08-221h 03The Unwritable RantSocializing with the devil, an unwelcome paramour, and the wrath of TexasOn this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette welcomes Texas to town, appreciates Alpine Valley Music Theater, visits a rock star petting zoo, follows a trail of empty bottles, penetrates a fortress of blonde bimbos, has a carried-a-watmelon moment, visits Sylvain, picks up a stray in Jackson Square, gets a surprise wave, wonders if she is special, and toasts to friendship.
2020-08-1527 minThe Unwritable RantJumped by a ghost, weird coincidences, and taking the long way homeOn this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette can’t escape ghosts, cuts through a prairie, forces a secret, questions an urban legend, understands salt, dismisses a vortex, brings French fries to a ritual, stomps into the thick of it all, smudges negativity, looks up, witnesses volatile transparency, finds an obscene leftover, and takes the long way home.
2020-07-2625 minThe Unwritable RantRomantic delusions, second times, and peppering a buttOn this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette is sweaty as balls, relates her favorite summer song, spends a summer without virginity, stares down Fabio wannabes, locks eyes with Gunsmoke, is rattled by a blast, sets off puttering, experiences a second time, gets yelly, scatters through a salty cloud, and enjoys a little danger.
2020-07-1925 minThe Unwritable RantAn insidious pest, sticky trails, and the summer of independenceOn this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette names her rats, experiences her first summer of independence, invites Crazytown to a party, wakes up with houseguests, hears an unsettling secret, tries to empty a menagerie, meets a four-legged fiend, makes a grown-up decision, and receives Blow-Pop advice.
2020-07-1231 minThe Unwritable RantA vile kind of genius, soft punches, and meeting crazy with crazyIn this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette considers unconventional methods, manages interns, wrongly romanticizes, scratches a blank slate, meets Queen Bee Paige, loses her cool, makes a stupid threat, requests advice from her dad, actually doesn’t break the rules, and softens a punch.
2020-06-2830 minThe Unwritable RantHarboring a unicorn horn, getting a grip, and baring it allIn this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette marvels at the small world of musicians, contemplates guy bangs, hates a hat, becomes rumor mill fodder, flees an interview, beats herself up, gets perspective from an unexpected source, exposes a shortcoming, and appreciates what she has.
2020-06-2129 minThe Unwritable RantRolling out the dirty red carpet, uncomfortable protocol, and an almost good ideaJuliette returns to her everyday bourbon-soaked storytelling, hears bells, makes an unfortunate discovery, handles a gross issue, questions a gurgle, witnesses 150 years of sludge, sends many emojis, finds her guy detained, questions resolve, makes an illogical conclusion, requires gumbo, attempts to catch a criminal, devolves the situation, and reluctantly swims through bourbon water.
2020-06-1228 minThe Unwritable RantMorning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 39-50A special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 39-50 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis: The mostly true story of a girl trying to reconcile her rock ’n’ roll roots with a new reality. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not found in the print edition. Juliette’s regular bourbon-soaked storytelling will resume on June 7, 2020.
2020-06-071h 28The Unwritable RantMorning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 29-38 special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 29-38 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis: The mostly true story of a girl trying to reconcile her rock ’n’ roll roots with a new reality. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not found in the print edition. Juliette’s regular bourbon-soaked storytelling will resume on June 7, 2020.
2020-05-311h 14The Unwritable RantMorning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 23-28A special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 23-28 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not found in the print edition. Juliette’s regular bourbon-soaked storytelling will resume on June 7, 2020. This episode is brought to you by Sawyer, a US-based outdoor gear company. Their products include insect repellant, first aid, and water filtration. Get 25% off Sawyer products when you shop at www.sawyersafetravel.com and enter the code TURPOD25 at checkout.
2020-05-2455 minThe Unwritable RantMorning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 14-22A special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 14-22 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not found in the print edition. This episode is brought to you by Sawyer, a US-based outdoor gear company. Their products include insect repellant, first aid, and water filtration. Get 25% off Sawyer products when you shop at www.sawyersafetravel.com and enter the code TURPOD25 at checkout.
2020-05-091h 12The Unwritable RantMorning Neurosis Audiobook Chapters 1-13A special audiobook exclusive! Juliette shares chapters 1-13 of her memoir, Morning Neurosis. Hear the Los Angeles stories that inspired the podcast, with additional insight, commentary and more not found in the print edition. This episode is brought to you by Sawyer, a US-based outdoor gear company. Their products include insect repellant, first aid, and water filtration. Get 25% off Sawyer products when you shop at www.sawyersafetravel.com and enter the code TURPOD25 at checkout.
2020-05-021h 06The Unwritable RantIrrational love, a brazen inferno, and 100,000 miles of adventureJuliette takes her top down, specializes in irrational love, attempts to play it cool, gets heads turning, becomes encased in snow, focuses on death, accepts Ollie’s Place, meets a moose, is laughed out of a barn, and continues her path… all while drinking Woodford Reserve Distiller’s Masterpiece batch proof bourbon. This episode is brought to you by Sawyer, a US-based outdoor gear company. Get 25% off Sawyer products when you shop at SawyerSafeTravel.com and enter the code TURPOD25 at checkout.
2020-04-2629 minThe Unwritable RantMasterminds, mouse turds, and a sad attempt at dominanceJuliette drinks early, burns a bridge, accepts a misleading position, fights an office battle, appreciates a technological failure, is denied a shining moment, delivers a parting gift, and provides payback… all while drinking Knob Creek 12 Year bourbon. This episode of The Unwritable Rant is brought to you by Sawyer, an outdoor gear company specializing in insect repellant, first aid, and sunscreen, and dedicated to bringing clean water to developing countries.
2020-04-1930 minThe Unwritable RantOverlapping stories, unexpected modifications, and a greedy decisionJuliette gets in touch, shares an interest with Texas, meets an old crush, is surprised by a modification, gets a handful, makes a sad connection, plans a fun sendoff, melts at a gift, has second thoughts, makes a good decision, gives a guy an out, seeks a dark corner, takes a dive into gleeful territory, and hopes for a better candy bar … all while drinking Redemption bourbon. This episode of The Unwritable Rant is brought to you by Sawyer, an outdoor gear company specializing in insect repellant, first aid, and sunscreen, and dedicated to bringing clean water to developing co...
2020-04-1230 minThe Unwritable RantProper dates, excruciating romance, and a too-nice guyJuliette finds herself un an unusual position, opts for clandestine color, meets a too-nice guy, lacks enthusiasm, experiences perverse curiosity, gets the icks, joins an unsurprising picnic, tests tolerance, refuses worship, experiences excruciating romance, seriously hates cake, calls on a go-to guy, receives an empty poem, is incapable of swooning, and appreciates good help… all while drinking Old Grand-Dad 114.
2020-04-0528 minThe Unwritable RantSocial selling, regret cycles, and topping the trash heapJuliette calls out Craig’s List, hopes to be the exception, experiences immediate regret, sifts through flakes, attempts a transaction, longs to hurl a phone, questions her throw down ability, recoils from a box, elects to trash a set, relies on resourcefulness, is interrupted by Citizen Prissy Pants, resorts to criminal activity, questions boomerangs, and tries to sweeten the deal… all while drinking Pinhook straight rye whiskey. You can support bartenders affected by the pandemic by donating to the United States Bartenders Guild: https://www.usbgfoundation.org
2020-03-2225 minThe Unwritable RantShooting stars, killer campaigns, and a large blue duck Juliette finds an unusual carcass, enjoys hunting, introduces Raven, appreciates differences, participates in the height of adolescent nightlife, shoots out a star, lays claim to a duck, employs principles, spreads the word, misses a friend, becomes a poster child, and accepts what she knows… all while drinking Buffalo Trace bourbon.
2020-03-0831 minThe Unwritable RantPedestrian leftovers, aggressive overcorrections, and a displaced mermaid tailJuliette abuses another friendship, borrows a boat, comes with a mess, tries to follow the rules, moves to the floor, becomes drunk hungry, violates a skillet, hears voices, navigates a nightmare, itches backwards, takes out a mirror, provides unhelpful assistance, and tries real hard… all while drinking Woodford Reserve Double Oaked Bourbon.
2020-03-0126 minThe Unwritable RantEqually despicable people, rainy day stock, and meeting The BugabooJuliette delivers two middle fingers, shacks up with The Informant, wears a dirty crumb, is unable to rustle up a gig, answers a pounding, feels her teeth move, takes stock, experiences an adrenaline surge, looks like a monster, says goodbye, and takes a walk toward the right kind of crazy… all while drinking Larceny bourbon.
2020-02-1624 minThe Unwritable RantKiller cake, stripper fingerprints, and a giant misstepJuliette celebrates her birthday, recognizes the tolerance of Texas, settles on the less gratuitous Rooster, is too deviant for a dating site, witnesses tongue twirling, pretends it’s her party, gets denied dinner and cake, runs away, seeks solace like Vince Neil, drinks up, blinks away spots, and comes skidding to a realization… all while drinking Knob Creek single barrel reserve, Binny’s Beverage Depot selection.
2020-02-0225 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Kip WingerJuliette speaks with Grammy-nominated musician Kip Winger. Kip got his start playing bass for Alice Cooper. He formed rock band Winger in the 80s, who is still touring and making music today. He is also a composer of classical symphonies. In this conversation, Kip discusses his unusual career, creating classical music album “Conversations with Nijinsky” and concept album and musical thriller “Get Jack,” plus what’s coming for the band Winger.
2020-01-2523 minThe Unwritable RantA tainted highway, fretful fingering, and a zippy little coupeJuliette is ready to make a move, packs up deluded dreams, points westward, makes a friendship of convenience, enters Nebraska, loathes a fretboard, misses a roadblock, confronts a barrel, makes a startling pass, loses air, fears following, takes her chances on bedbugs and blood stains, discovers unsettling evidence, and feels grateful for the predictable… All while drinking Redemption high rye single barrel select bourbon.
2020-01-1927 minThe Unwritable RantSoftcore Saturday, janky bungalows, and a dare in disguiseJuliette has another Crazytown adventure, recalls the south side of Chicago, falls for the tragic, wants more than friendship, axes the girlfriend, attends Softcore Saturday, appreciates the good toilet paper, goes in for the kiss, accepts a girl dare, and understands the line… all while Drinking 1792 Sweet Wheat bourbon.
2020-01-1125 minThe Unwritable RantFist force, bootlegger choreography, and a five-alarm stalkerJuliette contends with an unexpected word, introduces The Kraken, succeeds at a coveted crossover, dodges kaleidoscopic insanity, enjoys a 10-year safety zone, feels a kinship to crazy, expects Ted Bundy, breaks up a seduction dance, finds the inner sanctum of a speakeasy, and appreciates good bartending… all while drinking Cream of Kentucky 12.3 bourbon.
2020-01-0531 minThe Unwritable RantFamily plaid, playing the quote game, and a horrid holiday tale Juliette considers the two types of Christmas people, finds a princess, goes to a perfect home for the holidays, opens with an apology, makes a gremlin, gives thanks, reconsiders her gift, crosses a line, sticks out a disaster, shares an inappropriate tradition, and rejects the family plaid… all while drinking Maker’s Mark Wood Finishing Series RC6 bourbon.
2019-12-1535 minThe Unwritable RantA sordid caper, low wattage, and becoming the Martha Quinn of the cornfieldsJuliette finds a rural route antenna, attempts to pump up the volume, speaks into an endless void, seduces farm folk, curls up under a console, dates a one-size-fits-all guy, looses her patience, answers a knock on her barn door, engages in a sordid caper, ignores the consequences, and appreciates the contrary... all while drinking Horse Soldier barrel proof bourbon from the American Freedom Distillery.
2019-12-0825 minThe Unwritable RantReckless jobs, a designer wonderland, and Thanksgiving severanceJuliette learns the layoff routine, bursts the dot-com bubble, accepts a disgusting amount of money, enjoys a feast, rents a capuchin monkey, loses the nice-to-haves, produces trash, maps out a productive exit, channels Office Space, sticks it, and accepts famine with class… all while drinking Rabbit Hole Cavehill straight bourbon whiskey.
2019-11-2424 minThe Unwritable RantOrganic productions, frontier stitches, and a happy death heapJuliette remembers the rainbow connection, reveals a fundamental truth, accepts a psycho part, lands at a mission church, lacks plans, questions a vision, witnesses a meaty wound, accepts a method, embraces stabbing, makes a bloody mess, and holds out hope for her ragtag troop… All while drinking Knob Creek Quarter Cask bourbon.
2019-11-0928 minThe Unwritable RantBed buddies, business agreements, and crashing a weddingJuliette ducks out, considers the secret to successful crashing, accepts a business arrangement, becomes arm candy, wakes up in Florida, reconsiders a ruse, meets Daisy and Gus, hears a tone, requires a crazy explanation, overhears the truth, dumps her shoes, dodges a redneck disaster, and salvages a gift… all while drinking Woodford Reserve 2019 Master’s Collection Chocolate Malted Rye bourbon.
2019-11-0333 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Sara KarloffJoin Juliette for a conversation with Sara Karloff. Daughter of actor Boris Karloff, Sara discusses her father's role as Frankenstein's monster, rumors about a rivalry with Bela Lugosi, Universal horror movies, and classic Hollywood cinema. Plus, find out what Boris did with his Grammy award for narrating How the Grinch Stole Christmas. A classic Halloween special episode!
2019-10-2624 minThe Unwritable RantLast chance adventure, relocating coffins, and hunting Resurrection MaryJuliette falls in the middle, seeks a lady in white, wonders if Resurrection Mary exists, enlists her friend Texas in a stakeout, bursts a bubble, is denied digital gear, visits a ballroom, lacks creepiness, seeks ghostly energy, breaks into a cemetery, gets stopped by footsteps, records a crime, refuses to bargain, and accepts an unexpected intervention… all while drinking I.W. Harper 15-year bourbon.
2019-10-2031 minThe Unwritable RantTerrors of the night, false protection, and voices from the etherJuliette can’t wake up from the terror, requires subconscious explanation, recounts the weird 70s, discovers the Leek Sisters, is born in witch country, talks to invisible companions, lives in comfort, makes ouija board contact, looks for a sign, winds up in the cellar, and receives an unnerving call… all while drinking Russells Reverve Private Barrel Selection - Binny’s Beverage Depot pick (warehouse F, floor 5 and barrel 0227).
2019-10-0624 minThe Unwritable RantA furry flash, weaponizing a toilet, and cardboard standoffsJuliette watches her house fall apart, objects to bandages, takes matters into her hands, lacks qualifications, has an Edgar Allen Poe moment, unleashes a furry flash, bickers over a toilet weapon, questions her guy’s sanity, hums a lullaby, attempts to snatch a box, plays the sheriff, and preens in a rare moment… all while drinking Driftless Glen single barrel straight rye whiskey.
2019-09-2921 minThe Unwritable RantProvocative questions, uncomfortable positions, and educating The ProfessorJuliette tells the big story, hits a turning point, meets The Professor, visits a bird’s nest, reads The Fountainhead, answers a provocative question, pulls away, decides on nothing, confronts dismissal, commits to seduction, and accepts her opinion… all while promising to have bourbon next week.
2019-09-2221 minThe Unwritable RantCalculated risks, a yellow house of ill repute, and falling for Evel KnievelJuliette questions a PhD, eavesdrops on an argument, considers fairness, risks flying, hits a ramp, breaks more than a bone, relates rumors about a yellow house, crashes a no-play zone, meets Evel Knievel, offers up an arm, and accepts the consequences… all while drinking New Riff Kentucky Straight Rye Whiskey. The Unwritable Rant website http://www.theunwritablerant.com Buy Juliette a drink https://theunwritablerant.com/support.html Juliette's YouTube Channel http://www.youtube.com/juliettemiranda
2019-09-1524 minThe Unwritable RantFriday night on Main Street, lip imprints, and taking a standJuliette recovers a mix tape, forms a trio with Duck and Ham, meets a Patrick Swayze doppelganger, goes for a walk, gets too criminal for comfort, checks off a sexual to-do, makes a getaway, contemplates intervention, finds what she lost, feels vibration, stares down the tracks, takes a stand for friendship, and has the time of her life… All while drinking Bardstown Bourbon Company Fusion Series #1 - Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey.
2019-09-0128 minThe Unwritable RantCollege cliches, the other friend zone, and playing a villainOn this episode, Juliette enters a weird void, accepts a bribe, wants an unrealistic college experience, forces a flat, casts an underhanded spell on Ajax, plays the friend card, pretends to be an it girl, edges out a sorority girl, becomes a target, ends up wet, gets stuck without escape, and understands villainy… all while drinking Old Forrester 1920 Prohibition style Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey.
2019-08-2524 minThe Unwritable RantBuzz blights, minding manners, and the child king of rock 'n' rollJuliette returns from New Orleans, finds the road to an ex, introduces Tadpole, gets avoided, has her soap replaced, meets mom, considers a twin, violates a home, accepts a dinner offer, meets up with a tour, outs a complex, waits in line, and stresses the importance of manners... all while drinking Uncle Nearest 1856 premium aged Tennessee whiskey.
2019-08-1723 minThe Unwritable RantGuerilla productions, worrisome questions, and knockoff problemsJuliette misses MTV, auditions for an infomercial, sucks back disappointment, hopes for a springboard, confuses buzzwords with red flags, wears a dirty shirt, questions dog food, gets thrust at the camera, sidesteps a mess, lacks a handbook, refuses to take the blame, confronts the preternatural, and resigns from ridiculousness... All while drinking TX Blended Whiskey.
2019-08-0327 minThe Unwritable RantExit strategies, enough pink, and dry rot of the soulJuliette notices a trend, gives girls a try, abandons personals, finds Candy and more, feels like a predator, drops words, does it inside a lava lamp, escapes the pink, is unprepared for reality, laments small town closeness, hides behind a menu, accepts advice from Texas, and gets her fill of red sauce... all while drinking Barrell Bourbon Batch 20.
2019-07-2023 minThe Unwritable RantA box of boyfriends, moving violations, and zip tie threatsJuliette considers a move, has nothing to show for herself, wants a fresh start, accepts an offer from The Linebacker, overlooks untied shoelaces, refuses to impose, goes to annoyingly efficient lengths, questions load-up, bellies up to a bumper, defends box content, changes lanes, bursts a word cloud, nudges a trailer, goes hillbilly crazy, and pays for a reboot... all while drinking Evan Williams Master Blend bourbon.
2019-07-1321 minThe Unwritable RantPit dwellers, slot snakes, and an unsexy hustleJuliette visits Las Vegas with her guy, appreciates friendship, speedballs absinthe and whiskey, visits the casino of the damned, loses on lightning, knows nothing about craps, considers chips, watches a room breathe, ups her nudging, urges cashing out, makes unfortunate eye contact, gets hustled, channels Sharon Stone, and makes her move…. All while drinking Wigle Pennsylvania Bourbon.
2019-07-0623 minThe Unwritable RantA blow-out party, insidious practices, and learning to swaggerJuliette generalizes Bob’s Rockets, knows the right paperwork, socializes with scientists, escapes an interview, loses her dad at a concert, employs protocol, becomes furious and intrigued, attends a blow-out, times our Tesla coils, insists on a song, anticipates arrest, and says goodbye… all while drinking Eagle Rare Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey.
2019-06-2325 minThe Unwritable RantWave worthy, synchronized sweatpants, and an overstuffed packageJuliette resumes driveway drinking, breaks people in, attempts to coexist, rejects coordination, is denied a wave, hires a tangerine, appalls a party, causes diabolical discomfort, kills with kindness, takes out a kneecap, pollutes a shopping cart, and accomplishes balance... all while drinking Wild Turkey Kentucky Spirit Single Barrel straight bourbon whiskey.
2019-06-1527 minThe Unwritable RantAn unwelcoming festival, botched performances, and clown chaosJuliette goes on tour with her guy, lands in Iowa, dodges mites and meth, vibrates, avoids a hairy situation, lacks a welcome, meets Cornflake the Clown, gets bumped for balloons, witnesses a theft, fears a meltdown, discovers a fitting mascot, ducks and covers, and avoids an angry stalker… all while drinking Blood Oath Pact #5 bourbon.
2019-06-0223 minThe Unwritable RantRedoing prom, illicit foot rubs, and caught in crossfireJuliette does something unnatural, revisits prom with Crazytown, wears metallic blue, meets two fire guys, gets sucked into a nostalgic escapade, hands over her feet, experiences a power shift, witnesses a romantic fantasy, gives in to a fireball of hormones, manipulates a threesome, gets caught in the act, snaps a heel, and falls into an angry tumble... all while drinking Larceny bourbon and root beer.
2019-05-2624 minThe Unwritable RantA menace to morality, unsavory actions, and superhero powersJuliette receives something unexpected, has 10 potent words, becomes a no-good slut, refuses saving, plays dumb, taunts a mob, experiences the ultimate breakdown, reinforces her self defense tactics, calls out a wanna be saint, reaches for a message, makes a shocking conclusion and takes a stand... all while drinking New Riff single barrel sour mash bourbon.
2019-05-1922 minThe Unwritable RantBlindsided by kink, self-invented hell, and breaching boundariesJuliette accepts a satanic comparison, becomes blinded by chemistry, lacks proper communication, refuses to get going, reacts poorly, attends a team-building event, makes everyone uncomfortable, suffers hellish consequences, breaks a house rule, receives an impressive phone number, hosts an unprecedented guest, and appreciates motherly understanding... all while drinking Old Forester Statesman straight bourbon whiskey.
2019-05-1233 minThe Unwritable RantRevenge lessons, managing the deep end, and Shelly the sea witchOn this episode, Juliette checks out, discovers a sea witch, encourages a show, soaks up rum, nudges her guy, plays a ruthless game, fakes a concussion, admits the icky, treads water, gets sucked in, evaluates execution, flings flip-flops, and disgruntles flamingos... all while drinking High West Bourye Whiskey.
2019-05-0523 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Ron Platt - Singer for KANSASJoin Juliette as she welcomes Ron Platt, lead singer from the iconic rock band Kansas, into her home for an intimate talk about the legacy of Kansas, the new tour, and so much more.
2019-04-2852 minThe Unwritable RantThe Naked Stories Juliette revisits her two favorite naked stories about a topless revolution and a switchblade corset.
2019-04-2133 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Joe Bob BriggsJuliette is joined by Joe Bob Briggs to discuss exploitation cinema, hosting The Last Drive-In on Shudder, Monstervision, How Rednecks Saved Hollywood, and yes, bourbon. Comedian Gilbert Gottfried makes a surprise appearance with a special question for Joe Bob. This episode can also be watched on Juliette's YouTube channel. http://www.youtube.com/JulietteMiranda
2019-04-0739 minThe Unwritable RantMonogamy spectacles, Keanu carrots, and a self-absorbed head caseJuliette is blocked from attending a concert, gets a sad face, scores a plus 1, has personal concerns, coerces with Keanu Reeves, experiences a jealous rage, kicks open doors, exposes a pantless tryst, fumbles her moment, forges an unintentional threesome, searches trailers and finds what she's been missing... all while drinking Cream of Kentucky 11.5 year bourbon.
2019-03-3128 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with John Michael HigginsJuliette chats with Emmy nominated actor John Michael Higgins. They discuss his role as host of America Says on Game Show Network, and cover key moments from his career acting in movies like Best In Show, Pitch Perfect, Fred Claus and The Late Shift. Michael also shares his love of Shakespeare, admits to a headstand, and explains what goes into creating great improv.
2019-03-2323 minThe Unwritable RantCreepy tip-offs, experimental slumming, and spiteful to-do lists Juliette rejects a question, attempts wellness, meets the Mary Poppins of boyfriends, questions niceties, answers a loving call, escapes personal development, accepts a friendly job, completes a pink list, considers alternative uses for a label maker, and checks off the delivery guy... All while drinking Uncle Nearest 1820 Nearest Green single barrel Tennessee whiskey.
2019-03-1624 minThe Unwritable RantMonkee waves, funeral zingers, and jabbed by a strawOn this episode, Juliette carries a soft spot, divvies up the blame, is betrayed by undelivered mail, ranks as a dingo, takes an old school approach, hugs a Brady, waves to Monkees, annoys everyone, dismisses a sermon, witnesses the devil’s handshake, makes a buying error, and considers the turtles… all while drinking W.L. Weller Special Reserve bourbon.
2019-03-0328 minThe Unwritable RantSubstituting insanity, elastic failures, and playing ping pong in hellJuliette does something distasteful for money, meets the qualifications, mocks an assignment, teaches Bukowski, gets called in, goes to grammar school, dresses for a drunk tank, ditches the schedule, and plays a crappy game… all while drinking Booker’s 30th anniversary bourbon.
2019-02-2427 minThe Unwritable RantBad decisions, jailbirds, and a Galentine’s Day massacreJuliette questions a fake holiday, receives a surprising call, helps Texas avoid a wet spot, introduces Vanderbilt and cousin Shelia, considers drug lording, ducks a book attack, rethinks baseball, forgets a crucial tool, swings a chair, and waits for sirens… all while drinking Joseph Magnus Murray Hill Club blended bourbon.
2019-02-1724 minThe Unwritable RantJuicy secrets, rookie mistakes, and soft core spyingJuliette returns to her 21st birthday, takes manipulative advice, maintains a juicy secret, trips over her order, contemplates telltale signs, knows her way backstage, hands out scraps, books solo vacation, admits a beachy love, avoids her friends, envies cool confidence, misses the obvious, parts the curtains, and flails like a circus seal... all while drinking Glenfiddich Winter Storm scotch whisky.
2019-02-0328 minThe Unwritable RantAbstract thinking, a tomb on wheels, and patient zeroJuliette contemplates serial killer storage, returns to college, accepts a bribe from Doc, confronts torsos, encounters a tomb on wheels, fears a living dead situation, understands revenge motivation, trudges through a blizzard, and makes a deathly delivery… all while drinking Resilient straight bourbon whiskey barrel #98.
2019-01-2725 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Anthony CumiaJuliette welcomes Anthony Cumia back to the show. Anthony discusses his new book, "Permanently Suspended," the ongoing feud with Opie, Louis CK, freedom of speech, and so much more.
2019-01-2026 minThe Unwritable RantBad business, sticky surfaces, and a bag full of weevilsJuliette puts on her business head, finds an alternative profession, gets into something awful, admits to shady ethics, questions the muse, completes the deal, caters more than expected, hacks into a sad reality, longs for a lap, capitalizes on cracks, and finishes her cookies… all while drinking Barrell Bourbon Batch 17.
2019-01-1327 minThe Unwritable RantPen pal predicament, analog hustle, and unwelcome ecstasyJuliette ponders technology, delights in sending letters, finds more grown-up interests, drowns in uncomfortable declarations, gets called into the office, plays an unwilling character, weeds out weirdos, does an analog hustle, receives an Ego, finds her eyes polluted, and appreciates the genius of her friend Crazytown... all while drinking Willet Family Estate 4-year small batch rye whiskey.
2019-01-0628 minThe Unwritable RantArmageddon paraphernalia, millennium hysteria, and mechanized revengeJuliette revisits the millennium, hates The Warden, gets circled by a peeing peacock, deflects seething balls, lines a desk with weed, prepares for the worst, alludes to a serial killer, attends a sleeper, considers a time out, fears 10 years of prison, stands accused, and settles the score on the worst ever New Year's Eve... all while drinking Jim Beam Distiller's Masterpiece bourbon.
2018-12-3030 minThe Unwritable RantGreen-tinted spirit, stripper scruples, and a half-naked Christmas militiaJuliette is still in the holiday spirit, and admits to questionable beliefs, dabbles in rock stars, calls in The Pro, arrives in a chariot, visits a neon pink utopia, gets a spite lap dance, ignores her own rules, sends out a distress signal, slices up panties, and enjoys good company… all while drinking Peerless barrel proof straight rye whiskey.
2018-12-1623 minThe Unwritable RantBat slugging, gross misinterpretations, and Mr. Bennet’s birdJuliette questions the validity of DNA results, finds family tree crazy, visits an atomic wonderland, bartends past bedtime, mistakes Santa Claus, witnesses a massacre to a classic, appreciates the Budweiser clydesdales, experiences Christmas spirit, attempts to grant a wish, relates a perversely happy memory, and disturbs Mr. Bennet’s bird… all while drinking Orphan Barrel Rhetoric 25-year old bourbon.
2018-12-0927 minThe Unwritable RantA disappearing cocktail trick, tasteless justice, and the Whore of BabylonJuliette sets up a casino sting, treads on trendy shoes, doctors up with not-so-nice intentions, wagers on vomit, encounters rage juice, enters a bubblegum factory relationship, plays an unsexy game, and spearheads an uncomfortable truth… All while drinking Barrell Bourbon Batch 16.
2018-12-0228 minThe Unwritable RantA five-pound nut sack, crazy mixtures, and a straggler's ThanksgivingJuliette visits Whiskey acres distillery, stares down a steamy mash pool, reduces into a cardboard box, accepts a Thanksgiving invitation, tests a heating system, evokes The Great Dismal Swamp, scrapes off char, visits a Laurel Canyon cottage, gets dangerously festive, consults pioneers, empties a room, picks out shrapnel, and appreciates recipes and the lack thereof... all while drinking Basil Hayden Dark Rye whiskey.
2018-11-1825 minThe Unwritable RantNashville bar eviction, borrowed identity, and securing a scooterJuliette heads to Nashville with her guy to bash a country bar, fear alien subliminal messages, hunt down real country music, heckle a band, take on the sidewalk, assume a new identity, snag complementary cheese, break up a posse, secure a scooter, and keep it classy ... all while drinking Whiskey Acres 5.5 bourbon.
2018-11-1133 minThe Unwritable Rantinterview with A.E. Hotchner - RevisitedJuliette revisits her conversation with author A.E. Hotchner in celebration of his 101st birthday, literary career, and life. "Hotch" discusses his friendship with Ernest Hemingway, explores Hemingway's most important relationships and work, and even reveals Hemingway's favorite drink. This interview was originally released in October 2015, and remains Juliette's most personal and memorable. A.E. Hotchner is a memoirist, novelist, playwright, and biographer. He has just released a new novel, "The Amazing Adventures of Aaron Broom."
2018-11-0437 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Dave LandauJuliette is joined by comedian Dave Landau. Dave is co-host on The Anthony Cumia show and discusses his approach to broadcasting, how his start at Second City influenced his comedy, writing and producing movie The King, the importance of satire, and his plans to write a memoir and another film. Find info about Dave’s comedy tour at http://davelandau.com/. Listen to Dave on The Anthony Cumia show at https://www.compoundmedia.com/.
2018-10-2826 minThe Unwritable RantGhostly interactions, befriending Leatherface, and a real shockerJuliette visits a haunted New Orleans ballroom, twirls with a ghost, takes on a tour guide, loses her guy to the supernatural, contemplates explanations, fakes interest, dismisses a scare, lingers with clowns, and stumbles into a shocking situation… All while drinking Driftless Glen single barrel straight bourbon whiskey.
2018-10-2132 minThe Unwritable RantSneaking in, reality transgressions, and a wacky witch of the midwestJuliette tells a secret, has a raunchy conversation, plays Rapunzel, welcomes a transgression, feels sophisticated, has an annoying wake-up, falls out a window, gets a tarot card reading, meets Glinda the Wacky Witch of the Midwest, practices magic in the kitchen, backslides onto the band wagon, is guilted into a ceremony, and avoids bonding spirits... all while drinking Woodford Reserve Distiller's Select rye whiskey.
2018-10-1332 minThe Unwritable RantRebranding Charlie, blood baths, and one epic Halloween partyJuliette honors a tradition, harbors resentment, hires vampires, mitigates molesting, stalls a kingpin, experiences a blood feast, takes on toxic combos, diffuses the situation, goes for the cliché, and avoids a wild attack… all while drinking Pikesville 6-year straight rye whiskey.
2018-10-0628 minThe Unwritable RantAttack tots, classy lessons, and overripe banana partsJuliette falls into a rotten mood, sneaks in a flask, gets her oompah on, appreciates a fat feast, hates the human voice, misses a tot shot, shares a classy lesson, is asked a favor, gets situated with Satan, channels Mr. Rogers, plays an evil emperor, and lands like a bum… All while drinking Redemption 9-year barrel proof bourbon.
2018-09-3028 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with KK DowningJuliette talks with guitarist and founding member of the band Judas Priest. They discuss his new book, Heavy Duty on Da Capo press, KK's influence on the look and sound of Judas Priest, recording some of the band's most popular songs, and KK reveals why he hasn't joined another band since retiring from Judas Priest. Juliette suggests pairing this conversation with Elijah Craig small batch bourbon.
2018-09-1523 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Jim FlorentineInterview with Jim Florentine: Juliette speaks with comedian Jim Florentine about his book, Everybody Is Awful (Except You). They discuss tour incidents, voicing character Special Ed on Crank Yankers, hidden camera comedy and Meet the Creeps, social media horrors, how media changes audience perception, and the state of comedy today. Juliette suggests pairing this interview with Wild Turkey 101 whiskey.
2018-09-0918 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Doc McGheeOn this interview episode, Juliette talks with legendary music manager Doc McGhee. They discuss his career, from managing James Brown to Bon Jovi and Motley Crue, to today and his work with Kiss. Doc also details how country music has taken the place of rock ‘n’ roll and breaks down how to be successful in the current digital music scene. Juliette’s bourbon of choice on this episode is Russell’s Reserve 10 year.
2018-04-1433 minThe Unwritable RantThe Funny Comes First specialOn this episode, Juliette takes you through her favorite conversations with some of the funniest people on the planet. Guests include Jim Norton, Nick Di Paolo, Ari Shaffir, Anthony Cumia, Rain Pryor, Bob Levy, Bobby Slayton, and Steve McGrew. Juliette dives into the art of comedy and the people who create it... all while drinking Larceny bourbon.
2017-11-2530 minThe Unwritable RantA reluctant friend, junkie scratching, and hammered resolutionsOn this episode, Juliette meets Crabapple, becomes grossly restless, falls into a safety net, fears car explosion, tests friendship limits, dances with the beer tub girl, goes on a hair band renaissance tour, connects with Shapeshifter, has her room violated, is offered cocaine, rages at a desert sky, allows a When Harry Met Sally indulgence, and hammers out a resolution… All while drinking Basil Hayden Dark Rye whiskey. Check out Juliette's top 5 bourbon video Top 5 Youtube Video
2017-11-1931 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Jim NortonOn this special bonus interview episode, Juliette interviews Jim Norton. Jim is currently on his worldwide "Kneeling Room Only" tour. He also has a Netflix special currently airing "Mouthful of Shame." Jim is a comedian, broadcaster on SiriusXM, actor, and podcaster. Juliette learns the deepest, darkest tales thanks to fellow comedian and friend of the show, Bob Levy. Juliette also dips into a special reserve Town Branch rye on this show.
2017-09-2527 minThe Unwritable RantDirty secrets, squirrel wars, and the tale of fire islandOn this episode, Juliette gets into some relationship baggage, shows off a tacky monument, is failed by magic elves, gets given away, avoids jail time, dodges a storm of walnuts, find bloody bits, watches fireworks, and ends a family tradition in flames… all while drinking Town Branch bourbon whiskey. This episode is dedicated to Juliette’s dad, who knows the value of a good story.
2017-07-0227 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Lea Thompson and Jim HemphillOn this interview episode, Juliette is joined by actress Lea Thompson. They discuss some of her recent projects, including movies The Trouble with the Truth and The Year of Spectacular Men. Lea also talks about making the transition from acting to directing and gives insight into movies like Back To the Future and Howard the Duck. In a bonus second interview, Juliette is joined by director and film journalist Jim Hemphill to talk behind-the-scenes moments in The Trouble with the Truth and more. Bourbon of choice is Orphan Barrel Barterhouse.
2017-06-1751 minThe Unwritable RantInterview with Mike RoweOn this special interview episode, Juliette is joined by TV host and trade activist Mike Rowe. Often referred to as “the dirtiest man on TV,” Mike has traveled the country as host of “Dirty Jobs” on the Discovery Channel and “Somebody’s Gotta Do It” on CNN. He is the narrator for shows like “Deadliest Catch” and “American Chopper.” Juliette and Mike discuss the lessons he learned on television, the country’s relationship with work, and the scholarships available through the mikeroweWORKS Foundation. Mike also shares an “unwritable” story about his podcast and explains his case of mistaken identity with Metallica.
2017-02-1225 minThe Unwritable RantEp 74 - Interview with Richard Young - The Kentucky HeadhuntersOn this interview episode, Juliette talks with Richard Young, guitarist and vocalist of The Kentucky Headhunters. This Grammy- and CMA-winning band is known for their blend of honky-tonk, blues, and southern rock, and have just released their 12th album, On Safari. Richard and Juliette talk candidly about the band’s roots and the importance of family, and how both play an important role in creating music. Plus, don’t miss Richard’s secret recipe for Mexican hamburgers! Juliette’s drink of choice is Backbone bourbon.
2017-01-2245 minThe Unwritable RantEp 71 - The Best of Interviews - Part II 2016On this best-of interview episode, Juliette revisits her conversations with Eric Roberts, Steve McGrew, TG Sheppard, Charlie Daniels, Bob Levy, Chuck Negron, Ed Begley Jr., and Don McLean. This episode includes unheard and extended clips! Juliette's drink of choice is Segura Viudas Spanish sparkling wine.
2016-12-3128 minThe Unwritable RantEp 70 - Letter writing magic and the story of the Christmas ShrewOn this very merry episode, Juliette digs through her podcast archives to share two best-of holiday stories. From episode 19, you’ll hear a heart-throbbing experience, awkward pencils, and a not-so serial killer response. From episode 17, you’ll hear how holiday legends are made with the tale of the Christmas Shrew. Juliette’s bourbon of choice for this Christmas episode is Yellowstone Select bourbon whiskey.
2016-12-2519 minThe Unwritable RantEp 67 - Interview with Eric Roberts and Ethan MartenOn this episode, Juliette speaks with actor Eric Roberts about his prolific career and iconic performances in The Pope of Greenwich Village, Star 80, and The Dark Knight. They also discuss his role in the independent film Eyes of the Roshi. Bonus interview: Juliette is joined by producer and actor Ethan Marten to discuss the making of Eyes of the Roshi. There are great stories told by both Eric and Ethan about Sylvester Stallone, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Moe Howard, and many more ... all while Juliette drinks Booker's bourbon.
2016-12-0339 minThe Unwritable RantEp 52 - The Unwritable Rant 1 yr Anniversary. The count, club foot, and a freakshow of loveIt’s the one-year anniversary of The Unwritable Rant! Juliette celebrates with her favorite bourbon from the past year, meets The Count, ponders a penetrating question, goes on a joyride, and revels in magical healing powers. Bonus outtakes and bloopers prove Juliette isn’t as ladylike as she’d like to think.
2016-08-2123 minThe Unwritable RantEp 51 - Interview with "The Reverend" Bob LevyLegendary comic Reverend Bob Levy joins host Juliette Miranda to discuss his 25-year career in broadcasting and comedy. Levy is known for his work with Howard Stern, as co-host on the Miserable Men show, and regular guest on the Opie & Anthony show. He currently hosts The Bob Levy show on the Radio Misfits network. Listen closely to this interview, you may just hear the spark of a genius – or insane – idea... all while drinking Wild Turkey.
2016-08-1442 minThe Unwritable RantEp 50 - Interview with Charlie DanielsCountry music legend Charlie Daniels joins host Juliette Miranda to discuss the Million Mile Reflections exhibition, being inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, Bob Dylan, his new cowboy-inspired album, and the latest news on his book. Juliette's drink of choice: Jack Daniel's Single Barrel Select.
2016-08-0719 minThe Unwritable RantEp 33 - Interview with Kristin NewmanJuliette Miranda interviews television writer Kristin Newman. Kristin discusses taking over as showrunner for the ABC TV series "The Muppets," and tells great stories about Willie Nelson, Jack White, and why Miss Piggy's trip to Argentina was so poignant. She also details her travel memoir, "What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding."
2016-04-1039 minThe Unwritable RantEp 32 - Interview with Ari ShaffirIn this interview episode, Juliette Miranda talks to comedian Ari Shaffir. Ari discusses his Comedy Central show "This is Not Happening," breaking his ankle, comedy in the UK, and teaches Juliette the proper way to do mushrooms, all while she enjoys a glass of Johnnie Walker Platinum scotch.
2016-03-3138 minThe Unwritable RantEp 27 - Interview with Michael PriceJuliette Miranda enjoys a glass of Booker's bourbon while interviewing the Emmy award-winning writer Michael Price. Michael discusses the characters, cannon, and craft of "The Simpsons," "LEGO Star Wars,"and "F is for Family."
2016-02-2725 min