Shows
Breaking Bread PodcastHow to Have Stress-Reducing ConversationsStress is a very real part of our lives. How we manage stress can have healthy or unhealthy consequences. Fortunately, one tool we should be using to soothe stress in one another is stress-reducing conversations. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer, Craig Stickling, and Brian Sutter explain how to have these purposeful conversations. Show notes: What is stress-related conversation? A conversation that has at its purpose the intention of soothing the emotions in a stress heightened individual and thereby reducing their stress levels. What qualities are present...
2026-02-1632 minBreaking Bread PodcastAccepting Relational InfluenceHealthy relationships require that we are open to being influenced. After all, what is a relationship if it doesn't include give and take. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer explains what both research and experience has taught him about the importance of accepting influence in relationships. Show notes: What does accepting relational influence mean? Allowing those we are in relationship with to shape and impact our thinking, feeling and behaving. What does not accepting relational influence look like? Relationship rigidity resulting in dismissing or being un-moved by the input, wisdom...
2026-02-0223 minBreaking Bread PodcastHidden Rules of a Great Conversation: Exploring the Speaker-Listener ModelIt's not uncommon for communication between two individuals in a relationship to go sideways. And when the pattern is sideways for many years, it becomes even more challenging to set right the cart. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer and Brian Sutter explain how to do just that. Show notes: The speaker/listener model is a structured approach for communication that enhances understanding between two individuals or parties. When do you use it? When communication is not working and understanding is not being reached. How does it work? ...
2025-10-2728 minBreaking Bread PodcastNavigating Marriage Through Busy SeasonsIn seasons of busyness, it can be easy for marriages to drift towards disconnection. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer encourages simple ways to maintain connection as well as a framework for thinking about marriage amid the busy. Show notes: Demands on our time and attention can ebb and flow over the calendar year. When marriage is involved, these seasons of busyness impact the marriage. If we are not vigilant, disconnection can result. Communication becomes challenging. Irritations can set in, and spouses can drift apart. Couples who wish to weather these seasons well...
2025-09-0123 minBreaking Bread PodcastElroi: The God Who Sees MeShe was useful until she was not. She was a victim of abuse and mistreatment. She was an abandoned outsider of God's covenant people. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer and Matt Kaufmann linger on Hagar's story. At her most desperate moment, God loves her really well. So struck by the encounter, Hagar names God Elroi, the God who sees me. Show notes: In her desperation, God finds Hagar abandoned to the wilderness. He calls her by name - "Hagar." Even though her name meant "stranger", his use of...
2025-07-0732 minBreaking Bread PodcastBefore "I do"A lot of health for marriages lies in the prework, before the marriage happens. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer and Arlan Miller speak about the pre-contemplative, contemplative and engagement phase of marriage and the great deal of promise these stages hold. They bring to bear resources and advice for both singles and the supportive community that surrounds them. Show Notes: The health of the marriage is what individuals bring into the marriage to create it. For this reason, attention to oneself is a critical starting point for future marital health...
2025-06-0931 minBreaking Bread PodcastEmotional AffairWe are built for relationship. There is a yearning, need and desire within us for emotional connection with others. In the marriage relationship this can be both an asset and a liability. In this episode of Breaking Bread, marriage and family therapist Kaleb Beyer helps us understand the signs, offense and repair of emotional affairs – when emotional intimacy outside the marriage compromises the covenant of marriage. Show notes: Three stages of emotional affairs: 1st Emotional intimacy with another person outside of marriage. Deep connection at the heart and emotional le...
2025-03-3129 minBreaking Bread PodcastRelational Wounds: A Block to Marital Intimacy Husbands and wives want healthy attachment, intimacy and oneness. Yet, sometimes it can be elusive. In this episode of Breaking Bread, marriage and family therapist Kaleb Beyer helps us see one barrier to intimacy – relational pain. Fortunately, there is a path forward but be forewarned, it will require going backward before going forward. Show notes: Intimacy has cleverly been defined as "into me you see." This is a good definition and a wonderful intention for marriages. It is not uncommon, however, for "blocks" to exist that prove intimacy difficult. One common "block" to intim...
2025-01-2027 minBreaking Bread PodcastSolid Foundations: Building a Love that LastsA lot goes into a thriving marriage. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer uses the research of Dr. John Gottman to place his finger on the components of a marriage that not only lasts, but flourishes. View the Sound Relationship House Model here
2024-11-1131 minBreaking Bread PodcastFour Negative Behaviors that Spell Trouble for MarriagesConflict does not spell doom in the marriage relationship. However, how we do conflict might. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer shares four behaviors that need to be avoided when "working things out" with your spouse. Kaleb explains what they are and how they can be avoided. Show notes: Four negative behaviors that spell trouble for marriages and how they can be avoided. Criticism Criticism often starts with "You." "You always..." or "You never..." These statements are personal, labeling and strike at the identity of the other. ...
2024-09-3029 minBreaking Bread PodcastMindfulness & Meditation Both the secular and the religious tout mindfulness and meditation. It's no wonder, because they promise a great deal of health to the one who practices them. Does mindfulness and mediation, however, look the same across the secular and religious worldviews? To answer this question, Kaleb Beyer and Isaac Funk speak to both the therapeutic and Christian uses of these practices. Show Notes: Mindfulness – attentive to the present moment. Meditation – focus
2024-09-1630 minBreaking Bread PodcastMaking Peace with Pain (Part 2 of 2) The question before every human being is not if they have pain, but rather, what they do with the pain that they have. Some people make peace with their pain. Unfortunately, many do not. In this Breaking Bread two-part series, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer help us understand what making peace with pain means, why it is important and how to do it. Show notes: What does making peace with pain mean? Answer: Making peace with pain happens when we change our relationship with pain. Instead of orbiting the pain, we are freed from...
2024-04-2916 min
Breaking Bread PodcastMaking Peace with Pain (Part 1 of 2)The question before every human being is not if they have pain, but rather, what they do with the pain that they have. Some people make peace with their pain. Unfortunately, many do not. In this Breaking Bread two-part series, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer help us understand what making peace with pain means, why it is important and how to do it.
2024-04-1522 minBreaking Bread PodcastWhole Brain Living: Using the Left and Right Brain (Part 2) While we might lean more towards left or right brain thinking, we use them both. In fact, it is important we do. And we can. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr., Brian Sutter, Kaleb Beyer and Kathy Knochel help us understand how important it is that we connect with people with both halves of our brain.
2024-01-2213 minBreaking Bread PodcastBrain Living: Understanding the Left and Right Brain (Part 1) Two halves make a whole. This is true for everything. But it is uniquely true for our brains. Each half, the left and the right, bring a wholeness that without either one, we are much less than half. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr., Brian Sutter, Kaleb Beyer and Kathy Knochel help us better understand the vast wonder of our created brains and give us a vision for healthy functioning that uses whole brain living. Show notes: The left brain (hemisphere) is understood to be the seat of rational logic. It excels in...
2024-01-0820 minBreaking Bread PodcastLetting Go of ControlGod has knit into our frame the capacity to have dominion. At some level, it comes from being an image bearer of his. Yet, it comes as no surprise, that after the fall, our capacity to have dominion has been bent. For the worse. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer address the tendency we have towards taking unhealthy control of situations. Wonderfully, letting go of control is possible, and who teaches it better than the Lord of Lords and King of Kings ~ Jesus. Show notes: I might have an unhealthy...
2023-06-1224 minBreaking Bread PodcastWhen Neurodiversity is Present in Marriage: ADHDMarriages can find themselves in places of despair. Marriages often assume the problems are symptoms of waning affection. Yet what is actually present is neurodiversity. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer educates us on the impact ADHD can have on marriage relationships and the hope that can be breathed into a marriage when this is understood. Show Notes: What is neurodiversity? The neurodiverse brain is contrasted with the neurotypical brain. The neurodiverse brain thinks, responds to its environment and interacts with emotions outside of the normative operating neurotypical brain. This condition is...
2023-01-2326 minBreaking Bread PodcastThe Benefits of LaughterLaughter is relational, healing and necessary. In this episode of Breaking Bread ACCFS clinicians Ted Witzig Jr., Brian Sutter, Kathy Knochel and Kaleb Beyer enjoy a light moment together. But don't underestimate the weighty benefits such moments bring to our mental health. Show notes: There are many matters that concern us: struggle, hurt, loss and sorrow abound. Yet, even among these, humor exists. Sometimes laughter springs from surprising places acting as a grace from our heavenly Father who no doubt loves to see his children laugh. What is laughter? Laughter is the ph...
2022-10-3126 min
Breaking Bread PodcastDisagreement in Marriage: When Spouses Don't Share the Same IdealsDisagreement in marriage is real. Anyone who is married understands the wisdom of being "equally yoked." Fortunately, Christians are "equally yoked" on the basis of faith in Christ. Yet, there are many other ideals, values and dreams we might not be so "equally yoked." In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer gives us a path forward for finding unity in the midst of the conflict this reality brings. Show notes: Background: Conflict around values and dreams are uniquely challenging because of the deep-seated nature of the held beliefs. Consider the examples below: Spouse...
2022-10-0326 minBreaking Bread PodcastThe Past's Impact on the Present Marriage - AttachmentMarital distress happens. Pain will occur. And when it does, our attachment styles will kick into full gear. Soon we will be behaving according to a script that was written a long time ago. However, these powerful scripts can be rewritten. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer explains what attachment styles are, how they are written, how they can be rewritten and the difference it makes in the marriage relationship. Four Attachment Styles: Secure Attachment – when distress occurs, pain shared in relationship and soothed through the relationship. This attachment style is healthy. The Pas...
2022-07-1124 minBreaking Bread PodcastThe Past's Impact on the Present Marriage: EmotionThe communication process is hard enough with just words. Add emotion to the mix and sometimes we might as well be speaking a foreign language. This is because the present moment meaning we attribute to emotions has been constructed in the past. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer untangles the knot spousal communication can find itself in because we are not decoding the emotions in the room correctly. There are six basic emotions common to all people: happiness, sadness, surprise, shame, anger and fear. Each of these emotions has a lot of shades. For e...
2022-05-1626 minBreaking Bread PodcastThe Past's Impact on the Present Marriage: TraumaMany explanations for our present realities harken back to our past. After all, who of us has not been shaped by the layers of life upon life? The marriage relationship is a crucible whereby these past experiences have a very present voice. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer explains the impact past trauma plays in present marriages. Understanding this unwelcome visitor in our today marriage relationship provides a great deal of explanation for the interactions we experience between spouses. It also, unlocks a hopeful path for an increasingly healthy marriage. What is trauma? Sometimes our...
2022-03-2124 minBreaking Bread PodcastValidationSometimes interactions are charged with emotion. Often, we react to the escalation only to make it worse. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer helps us let the steam out of the charged moment so we can have rational dialogue. The key to doing this is called "validation." Validation in interpersonal interactions. What it is. What it does. What it looks like. When do you use it? What it is not. Accepting a person's experience. Deescalates charged emotional interactions. Being...
2021-07-1221 min
Around the TableThe Way of Peace in abusive relationships (2 of 2)Guests: Kaleb Beyer, Ron Messner, Amber Miller
2021-04-3019 minAround the TableThe Way of Peace in abusive relationships (1 of 2)Guests: Kaleb Beyer, Ron Messner, Amber Miller
2021-04-1624 minAround the TableThe Way of Peace in difficult marriages (2 of 2)Guests: Kaleb Beyer, Ron Messner, Amber Miller
2021-03-1924 minAround the TableThe Way of Peace in difficult marriages (1 of 2)Guests: Kaleb Beyer, Ron Messner, Amber Miller
2021-03-0527 minBreaking Bread PodcastTransitioning to the Empty NestWhen the last of the children leave the home, couples enter the "empty nest" phase of marriage. For some, this moment is met with welcome anticipation. For others trepidation. But for all, the moment marks a transition. All transitions require a certain level of relational care. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Roger Gasser and Kaleb Beyer speak into the care needed to thrive in this transition. There are a few things that prove helpful to understand when entering the empty nest phase of marriage: Understand empty nesting begins by way of a transition. Transitions move...
2021-02-2225 minBreaking Bread PodcastRecovering From Sexual Betrayal (Part 2 of 2)Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting. Six Signposts: Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma...
2021-02-0821 minBreaking Bread PodcastRecovering from Sexual Betrayal (Part 1 of 2)Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting. Six Signposts: Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma...
2021-01-2521 minBreaking Bread Podcast3 Small Things for Improving Your Marriage (Part 4)Sometimes little things make big differences. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer relays three small things that exist in happy marriages. 3 Small Things Be Purposeful Highly happy couples generously focus on what their mate is giving to them. The spouse, in turn, deliberately tries to give back. Be Present Highly happy couples fully invest emotionally in their marriage by risking vulnerability; this leads to a dramatically increased security and happiness in the relationship. Be Positive Highly happy couples give their spouse most of the credit for their relationship...
2020-10-1911 minBreaking Bread PodcastConnection in Marriage Part 2Connection in marriage is possible. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer shares with us three keys in connecting with our spouse. Accessibility, responsiveness and engagement go a long way in moving us in the right direction - toward each other.
2020-06-2911 minBreaking Bread PodcastConnection in MarriageMarriage is far more than a living arrangement. It is a living relationship which meets a core need we each have for connection. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer exposes this core need and coaches us on how to achieve it. Connection in marriage models the connection God desires with us - one in which life flows between us. Christ is the vine and we are the branches. Every spouse desires connection. Connection answers "yes" to the questions, "Do I matter to you? Are you there for me?" Withdrawal is a poor but common response to...
2020-06-1515 minBreaking Bread Podcast3 Small Things for Improving Your Marriage, Part 3Conflict happens. Some conflict can be avoided. All conflict needs resolve. Sometimes little things make big differences. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer relays three small things that exist in happy marriages. 3 Small Things Be Purposeful Highly happy couples find that when they can't resolve conflict before bedtime, they choose to sleep on it. If anger remains in the morning, they don't let it go unresolved; they deal with it. Be Present Highly happy couples treat one another with intentional kindness; they joke and they challenge, but they try to n...
2020-06-0119 minBreaking Bread Podcast3 Small Things for Improving Your Marriage -Part 2Sometimes little things make big differences. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer relays three small things that exist in happy marriages. 3 Small Things Be Purposeful Highly happy couples practice meaningful touches throughout the day, boosting relational and individual health. Be Present Highly happy couples aren't just spending time together because they are happy; a big part of the reason they're so happy is that they are spending time together! Be Positive Highly happy couples quickly stop a negative train of thought or action by replacing unhappy or angry...
2020-02-2417 minBreaking Bread PodcastForbearanceThe apostle Paul encouraged the Ephesian church to forbear with one another. Forbearance requires a skill set that is growing increasingly foreign in today's world. A world where individual preferences abound and we have increasingly less reason to endure with those things that do not suit us. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Kaleb Beyer flush out the attribute of forbearance and expose it for its Christ-like beauty. Forbearance is enduring with someone or something that doesn't comply with your favor. Forbearance is not forgiveness, which requires an offense to be pardoned. Forbearance is acknowledging...
2020-02-1018 minBreaking Bread Podcast3 Small Things for Improving Your MarriageSometimes little things make big differences. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer relays three small things that exist in happy marriages. 3 Small Things Be Purposeful Highly happy couples tend to put God at the center of their marriage. They focus on Him, not their spouse, for fulfillment and happiness. Be Present Highly happy couples choose gratefulness for how their spouse realistically meets their needs instead of longing for something which is difficult or impossible for their spouse to meet. Be Positive - When highly happy couples experience hurt, the...
2019-10-2118 minBreaking Bread PodcastRestoration Attempts in MarriageCommunication with our spouse can be hard. It is important to note that the content of our conversation is not most important. Process is critical. In this episode, Kaleb Beyer teaches us, with very practical tips, how to steer our conversations back on track. In so doing, we will answer a question superior to content agreement, that is, you matter to me.
2019-07-1523 minBreaking Bread PodcastFamily DynamicsFamilies are a system. A set of dynamic moving parts that effect and influence each other. Over time they form up our norms for family life. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer exposes the nuances of family systems and helps us notice where adjustments can be made.
2019-02-1119 minBreaking Bread PodcastAbuse in Marriage (Part 2 of 2)In part 1, Kaleb Beyer and Ted Witzig Jr. unpacked what abuse in marriage looks like. In this episode they walk us through the daunting and tricky task of responding to abusive marital situations. We learn a great deal by listening to them speak to both victims and abusers.
2018-11-1919 minBreaking Bread PodcastAbuse in Marriage (Part 1 of 2)News of abuse is all too common today. Sorting out fact from fiction can be challenging. In this episode, Ted Witzig Jr. and Kaleb Beyer stick to the facts as they walk us through the ins and outs of marital abuse.
2018-11-0521 min
Breaking Bread PodcastLeaving and CleavingLeave and then cleave. This is the pattern for marriage set early in the Scriptures. This is also the pattern for the gospel set throughout the Scriptures. Christ calls us to leave our previous lives, cleave to Him and become a new creation. In a divine reflection of the gospel, marriage calls us to leave our previous lives, cleave to our spouses and be a new family. In this episode, Kaleb Beyer walks through the nuts and bolts of this "marriage long" process.
2018-05-0620 min
Breaking Bread PodcastRebuilding TrustOne of the hard realities of relationships is that love and hurt are bundled together. The vulnerability that relationship requires makes disappointment possible, even likely. Getting back up after disappointment and repairing trust is required for relationship maintenance. In this episode Kaleb Beyer and Arlan Miller provide a helpful template for restoring trust.
2018-04-0719 min
Breaking Bread PodcastFriendship in Marriage: Connecting with your Spouse (Part 2 of 2)Bringing the sun back out in our overcast marriages is not the result of extravagant acts. In this episode, Kaleb Beyer explains the power for good that accumulating small moments of connection have in warming up the climate of our marriages. The currency of affection is simple, basic, local and accessible.
2018-01-2714 min
Breaking Bread PodcastFriendship in Marriage: Knowing Your Spouse (Part 1 of 2)Friendship is a critical component of marital love. Unfortunately, too often its maintenance is neglected and our "like" for our spouse suffers. Wonderfully, our friendship can be revived. In this episode, Kaleb Beyer gives us the first of three hints on helping our friendship flourish.
2018-01-1413 min
Breaking Bread PodcastMarriage: Reflecting God's Oneness Part 3The intimacy between a husband and a wife holds immense promise, for it springs from immense holiness – The Holy Trinity. Christian marriage is a living testimony of God's Oneness. In this episode, Kaleb Beyer helps us understand sex as God designed it.
2017-04-1723 min
Breaking Bread PodcastMarriage: Reflecting God's Love for the Church Part 2Marriage is meant to be a reflection of Christ and the church. When husbands and wives take their cue from Christ, they become a living testimony of this most holy relationship. To be sure, Satan wants to upset this metaphor. In this episode, Kaleb Beyer explains where he does and how we can, through Christ, be re-centered.
2017-04-0324 min
Breaking Bread PodcastMarriage: Reflecting God's Love to the World Part 1From Genesis to Revelation, marriage is a major narrative of the Bible. This divine institution is a visible testimony of the relationship nature of God. In this episode, Matt Kaufmann will lead Kaleb Beyer in a discussion that will attempt to peer into marriage and discover the gospel elements contained therein.
2017-03-1824 min
Breaking Bread PodcastThanksgivingThanksgiving is an ornament of grace in a believer's life. It springs from faith and leads to faith. To prepare our hearts for thanksgiving, Kaleb Beyer, Brian Sutter, and Matt Kaufmann tease out some of the finer points of being grateful. Be encouraged by the re-release of this "Living Joyfully" episode on thankfulness.
2016-11-2022 min
Breaking Bread PodcastLiving Joyfully Part 4To see joyful living exampled, we need only to look at children. Laughter and smiles are a part of their every day. Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer suggest learning from children can provide a pleasant relief in our serious lives. Living with childlikeness is the last of five encouragements on living the joy filled life.
2016-07-0911 min
Breaking Bread PodcastLiving Joyfully Part 3It is natural for thanksgiving to come on the eve of blessing. But how about from the ashes of difficulty? Kaleb Beyer and Brian Sutter suggest that gratefulness is an ear mark of the joyful life, not only because joyful living sends us to thanksgiving but thanksgiving sends us to joy-filled living. Living with an appreciative heart is the fourth of five encouragements contained in the "Living Joyfully" podcast series.
2016-06-2622 min
Breaking Bread PodcastLiving Joyfully Part 2It is a great relief to know that a believer can live joyfully in spite of difficult circumstances. In this podcast, ACCFS clinicians Kaleb Beyer and Brian Sutter unpack two more practical helps for living joyfully – living in the present and living with acceptance. The Christian will understand that their faith in Christ sets them free to apply these techniques regardless of their difficult surroundings.
2016-06-1219 min
Breaking Bread PodcastLiving Joyfully Part 1We should be joyful, however, all too frequently the believer in Christ is not. Living Joyfully is a 4 part podcast series which provides the biblical framework and practical helps for living joyfully in a not-so-joyful world. In the first episode, ACCFS staff Kaleb Beyer, Brian Sutter, and Matt Kaufmann explain how to live intentionally and how such living can restore joy.
2016-05-2917 min