Shows
Your Friend, The TherapistNarcissism, Gaslighting, and High-Control GroupsNarcissism, Gaslighting, and High-Control GroupsAlisa Stamps is a therapist who helps adult children of narcissists, cult abuse and religious trauma survivors, and those struggling with disordered eating and body image overcome their emotional and relational trauma so that they can discover their true authentic selves. She is the author of The Gaslighting Recovery Journal--Prompts and Practices for Healing from Emotional Abuse and host of the podcast, You're Not the Crazy One!. You can find all the information about Alisa’s book and podcast and information about how to work with her on her website, https://www.al...2024-04-1846 min
Your Friend, The TherapistThe Way You Feel Is More Important Than The Way You LookThe Way You Feel Is More Important Than The Way You Look Libby is an artist who was in the Presbyterian Church in America until she was 38. Libby describes herself as a nature-loving Atheopaganist, neuro-spicy queer dryad with misophonia. Libby is a parent to three kids and lover of French fries. You can follow Libby on Instagram at @libby_newell. In this conversation, Kari interviews artist Libby Newell about her relationship to high control religion and the role of art in her deconstruction journey. They discuss the impact of Calvinism, the shift in L...2024-04-1153 min
Your Friend, The TherapistLGBTQIA+ Affirming TherapyMoriah Conant (she/they) is a psychologist-in-training who specializes in working with the LGBTQIA+ community, especially in the areas of trauma, identity development, and identity integration. She utilizes a relational psychodynamic approach to therapy, along with feminist psychology and LGBTQIA+ affirming psychology. They are particularly passionate about helping people heal from religious trauma. You can follow Moriah on Instagram at @mconantpsychology. In this conversation, Moriah and Kari discuss their personal experiences with high control religion and Moriah’s research on identity development for gender and sexual orientation. They highlight the lack of training for mental hea...2024-04-0454 min
Your Friend, The TherapistAn Ice Age Dildo That’s Older Than Jesus: The Sex Ed You Didn’t Get In Purity CultureAn Ice Age Dildo That’s Older Than Jesus: The Sex Ed You Didn’t Get In Purity CultureErica Smith is an award winning sexuality educator and consultant with over 20 years of experience. Throughout her career, she has provided comprehensive sex education and advocacy to young women and LGBTQ+ youth in Philadelphia’s juvenile justice system, worked in abortion care, and supported HIV+ and transgender adolescents and their families. In 2019, she developed the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program to help people learn all of the sex education that they missed growing up in purity culture- sex ed tha...2024-03-2857 min
Your Friend, The TherapistSpiritual Identity DisruptionSpiritual Identity DisruptionFor over two decades, Rebekah Drumsta has held a global presence through devoting her efforts to various nonprofits and organizations. Her background is diverse, including educational and mental health content development, international relations, and public speaking. Currently, Rebekah is the Interim Chief Executive Officer of NPE Friends Fellowship, an international non-profit organization which assists individuals, and their families, who have received unexpected results from an at-home DNA test. Rebekah is also a consultant, writer, and advocate at RebekahDrumsta.com with the mission of supporting survivors of spiritual abuse and religious trauma by pr...2024-03-2149 min
Your Friend, The TherapistSexuality Is SpiritualHannah Brents is a therapist with a private practice in Massachusetts, Texas, and Florida. She also has a background in religious studies, yoga, and meditation. You can find her on Instagram at @theologytherapist.You can listen to her episode on Season 1 of Your Friend The Therapist here: Meditation & Spirituality After High Control Religion with Hannah Brents.In this conversation, therapist Hannah Brents and host Kari Fillian discuss the connection between sexuality, the body, and spirituality. They explore the impact of high control religion and purity culture on individuals' relationships with their...2024-03-1455 min
Your Friend, The TherapistHealing From Purity Culture through The Divorced Virgin ProjectHealing From Purity Culture through The Divorced Virgin ProjectThe Divorced Virgin Project, created by Mindy Tyler, is a comprehensive program dedicated to the transformative journey of religious deconstruction, integration and healing.You can follow Mindy on Instagram @thedivorcedvirgin and The Divorced Virgin Project at @thedivorcedvirginproject. You can also learn more about the project at https://www.thedivorcedvirginproject.com/. Mindy Tyler shares her journey of religious deconstruction and healing in the Divorced Virgin Project. Growing up in an evangelical community, Mindy experienced the influence of purity culture and the c...2024-03-071h 04
Your Friend, The TherapistThe Power of Storytelling in the Deconstruction ProcessThe Power of Storytelling in the Deconstruction ProcessMaggie (she/her) runs the instagram account @hello_deconstructionists and hosts the podcast Hello Deconstructionists, where she is building community post evangelicalism. She is a religious trauma survivor and a dedicated therapy client where she’s working hard to understand who she is outside of religion. Her goal is to share parts of her own story and bring other survivors together to help them know they’re not alone on their deconstruction journey.In this conversation, Kari Fillian interviews Maggie Harrigan, the host of t...2024-02-2951 min
Your Friend, The TherapistHow Diet Culture, Purity Culture, and High Control Religion can Disconnect Us From Our BodiesGuest BioMichelle F. Moseley is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in North Carolina. She believes ALL people deserve respect, compassion, and access to mental and physical healthcare. Michelle specializes in working with survivors of religious trauma and spiritual abuse, and those who are exiting a high-control religion. She also works with folks around body image concerns, anxiety, grief, and life transitions. In addition to her clinical work, Michelle provides education about mental health for faith leaders and enjoys exploring all that North Carolina has to offer in her free time.You can find Michelle...2024-02-2257 min
Your Friend, The TherapistThe Intersection of Family Trauma and Religious TraumaMegan Von Fricken is a licensed clinical social worker with a virtual psychotherapy practice where she specializes in helping people recover from religious harm. You can follow Megan on Instagram at @reclaimingself.therapy.You can listen to Megan’s episode on Season 1 of Your Friend The Therapist here: Accepting Your Authentic Self with Megan Von Fricken. In this conversation, Megan Von Fricken, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in helping people recover from religious harm, discusses her own experience with high control religion and the process of deconstructing her beliefs. She exp...2024-02-1556 min
Your Friend, The TherapistDating & Building Relationships After Deconstructing Purity CultureEmily Maynard (she/her) is a licensed therapist in California. She grew up at the intersection of Evangelical and Fundamentalist Christianity, and now she specializes in helping people heal from religious trauma. She loves helping smart, sensitive people embody new stories. You can find Emily on Instagram at @emilymaynardlmft and on her website https://emilymaynardtherapy.com/. In this conversation, Kari and Emily discuss the roots of purity culture, the challenges of dating after deconstructing purity culture, and how to love your body and overcome shame. They also explore the topic of raising children outside of p...2024-02-0854 min
Your Friend, The TherapistThe Intersection of Faith and SexualityBrandon Flanery is an ex-pastor, ex-missionary, and ex-evangelical who writes about the tenuous intersection of faith and sexuality. He’s conducted research on the consequences of beliefs and why people are leaving Christianity. His writings are featured in The Scribe, Baptist News Global, the University of Colorado, and the Colorado Springs Indy, and his debut book, Stumbling: A Sassy Memoir about Coming Out of Evangelicalism, premiered August 2023. In addition to being a writer, Flanery co-founded the LGBTQ Christian dating app, believr.In this conversation, Kari and Brandon discuss Brandon’s experiences with high control religion and...2024-02-011h 05
Hello Deconstructionists1: Finding Meaning in Everyday Experiences with Kari FillianKari Fillian is a trauma psychotherapist, trauma sensitive yoga facilitator, and a podcaster with a therapy practice on the traditional and ancestral unceded land of the Wampanoag People, also known as Sagamore Beach, Massachusetts. She specializes in using body-centered and nature-based practices to support folks who have experienced complex trauma, including religious abuse and spiritual trauma. In her free time, Kari loves to spend time with her dog, practice hot yoga, write poetry, and go on solo trips around the world.
Connect with Kari:
Website: https://www.karifillian.com/ | Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karifillianpsychotherapy/ | Yo...2024-01-2748 min
Your Friend, The TherapistIntroducing Season Two: Understanding Adverse Religious Experiences & Religious TraumaSummaryIn this episode, Kari introduces the concept of religious harm and adverse religious experiences. She defines religious harm as any experience of a religious belief, practice, or structure that undermines an individual's sense of safety or autonomy and negatively impacts their well-being. Kari explains that adverse religious experiences can lead to trauma, but the way trauma is experienced varies from person to person. She discusses the difference between spiritual trauma and religious trauma, emphasizing that all trauma is spiritual trauma. The episode concludes with a reminder to prioritize self-care and seek professional help if...2024-01-2516 min
Your Friend, The TherapistLet The Divine Feminine Aura Glow with the Cycle Chats ChicksThe Cycle Chats Network is a collection of women hosted podcasts that look to have thought provoking conversations that will inspire you to break the cycle of generational traumas, societals pressures, mental health stigmas, women's health advocacy, and toxic relationships. Each of the Cycle Chats shows looks to empower you to break the patterns within yourself that no longer serve you through the use of education, self discovery tools, and a little bit of humor! In this conversation, Emily and Stephanie, of the Cycle Chats Network join Kari to discuss various topics, including their many p...2024-01-1857 min
Your Friend, The TherapistRecovering from Compassion Fatigue and Burnout with Rachel DuvallRachel Duvall (she/her), LICSW, MFA, is an actor and dancer turned therapist who specializes in helping individuals heal from anxiety, trauma, and burnout. She's inspired to help others find true, effective self-care after many years of burnout and secondary trauma in the world of non-profits. She integrates somatic and trauma therapies like Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and EMDR with expressive arts therapy approaches. She lives with her family in Western Massachusetts. You can learn more about her practice on Instagram @rachelduvalltherapy and at her website https://rachelduvallpsychotherapy.com/. Your Friend, The Therapist is hosted and produced by...2024-01-1131 min
Your Friend, The TherapistAsk Me Anything: I Answer Your Questions!SummaryIn this episode, Kari answers questions from her audience. She discusses how her personal experiences and strategies inform her therapy practice, including somatic approaches, internal family systems, and narrative therapy. She also explores the importance of ecotherapy and connecting with nature. Kari addresses the question of whether it is reasonable to ask a therapist about their religious background when seeking help for religious trauma. She differentiates between biblical counseling and therapy, emphasizing the trauma-informed and evidence-based nature of therapy. Kari shares her own journey of exploring spirituality after leaving high control religion and defines...2024-01-0438 min
Your Friend, The TherapistHealing from Religious Trauma & Reclaiming Your Inherent Goodness with Rachel TumlinsonHealing from Religious Trauma & Reclaiming Your Inherent Goodness with Rachel TumlinsonRachel (she/her) is a certified Somatic Practitioner who has training in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She writes about healing from trauma (especially religious trauma) as she is a survivor herself, as well as a mother of two living in Corpus Christi, Texas.You can connect with Rachel on Instagram at @marigold.mire.Your Friend, The Therapist is hosted and produced by Kari Fillian. You can follow the show on Instagram at @yourfriendthetherapistpod. Subscribe to my S...2023-12-2148 min
Your Friend, The TherapistBeing an End of Life Doula, Healing Intergenerational Trauma, and Writing a Book with Author Maria MooreMaria Moore (she/her) spent the first years of her life as an Old Colony Mennonite in Mexico. Her life exposed her to emotional and sexual abuse which was also the life that her mother endured. Generational trauma and the murder of her father are the foundations with which she was provided at a young age. Through education (as a registered nurse) she has learned how to take the shame of her past to educate and empower others with similar challenges. She has written a book - Not My Kind of Mennonite - to bring attention to the struggles...2023-12-1442 min
Your Friend, The TherapistPoetry and Spirituality with Jessica SchaferJessica Schafer (she/her) spends most of her time at the moment parenting three littles and when she's not doing that she loves to write poetry, be outside, make things with her hands and listen to people in a deep and supportive way.You can connect with Jessica on Instagram @jessicawiebeschafer and on her website jessicawiebeschafer.com where you can purchase her collection of poems, Maybe This Is A Story About Water.The books mentioned in the episode are listed below:The Spiritual Child: The New Science on Parenting...2023-12-0751 min
Your Friend, The TherapistYou Are Not Alone: Creating Community Post-Evangelicalism with @hello_deconstructionists creator Maggie HarriganMaggie (she/her) runs the instagram account @hello_deconstructionists where she is building community post evangelicalism. She is a religious trauma survivor and a dedicated therapy client where she’s working hard to understand who she is outside of religion. Her goal is to share parts of her own story and bring other survivors together to help them know they’re not alone on their deconstruction journey.Buy @hello_deconstructionists merch here.Your Friend, The Therapist is hosted and produced by Kari Fillian. You can follow the show on Instagram at @your...2023-11-3047 min
Your Friend, The TherapistStaying Well During the HolidaysMy guests today are Natalie Wong, Mandee Nicole, and Katie Kuntz-Wineland. You can follow and connect with these guests in the following places:Natalie Wong (she/her) can be found on Instagram at @exevangelicalnz. You can listen to Natalie’s previous episode on Your Friend, The Therapist here.Mandee Nicole (she/her) can be found on Instagram at @innerlightbotanicals, on Facebook at Inner Light Botanicals and online at www.innerlightbotanicals.com. You can also listen to her podcast, Just Earthly Podcast, on Spotify.Katie Kuntz-Wineland(she/her) can be found on Instagram at @thebelongingtable and o...2023-11-201h 06
Your Friend, The TherapistLearning Self-Compassion From Our Dogs with Jen EllisJen Ellis (she/her) is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and has a virtual private practice in Massachusetts. She works 1:1 with folks in their twenties and thirties around anxiety, burnout, high sensitivity and family of origin concerns. She also enjoys her work with folks in the helping professions. A big part of Jen's work is helping clients recognize their self-worth and values and becoming more compassionate towards themselves. Jen enjoys being with nature, recognizing the simple beauties around us, and spending time with her husband and two rescue dogs, Trudy and Lincoln.You can find...2023-11-1634 min
Your Friend, The TherapistPolitical Solidarity and Community Care with Emily MaynardEmily Maynard (she/her) is a licensed therapist in California. She grew up at the intersection of Evangelical and Fundamentalist Christianity, and now she specializes in helping people heal from religious trauma. She loves helping smart, sensitive people embody new stories.You can connect with Emily on her website www.emilymaynardtherapy.com and on Instagram at @emilymaynardlmft. The books mentioned in this episode are:Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring For Self While Caring for Others by Laura Vandernoot Lipsky#ChurchToo: How Purity Culture Upholds Abuse and How to Find H...2023-11-0944 min
Break the CycleCycle Swaps with Cycle Chats and Your Friend, The Therapist PodcastIt’s time to stop the competition and start the collaboration!In this episode we speak to the host of the brand new podcast, Your Friend, The Therapist, Kari Fillian.This conversation was so much fun because Kari is brand new to the podcasting world. So we got a chance to get some brand new perspectives from someone who is just starting out on their podcasting journey. In this conversation we talk about where Kari hopes the podcast will go, what inspired her to just start this project on a whim, how its already made changes in he...2023-11-0446 min
Your Friend, The TherapistHealth and Sustainability as a Neurodivergent Athlete with Jeremy Schumacher (Episode 11)Jeremy Schumacher (he/him) is a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Wellness with Jer. Jeremy is also the host of the "Your Therapist Needs Therapy" podcast.You can connect with Jeremy on his website www.wellnesswithjer.com. He’s also on Instagram @wellnesswithjer and Youtube. Check out his podcast, Your Therapist Needs Therapy, wherever you listen to podcasts! (You can find my conversation with Jeremy on his podcast here).Your Friend, The Therapist is hosted and produced by Kari Fillian. You can follow the show on Instagram at @yourfriendthetherapistpod and online at ht...2023-11-0245 min
Your Friend, The TherapistFinding Joy & Wonder in Your Body & Nature with Stacey SchultzStacey Schultz (they/she) is a board certified massage therapist and Rosen Method Bodywork Practitioner in Minneapolis, MN. Stacey holds space for those deconstructing from religion and/or embracing their queer identity. They believe deeply in the transformative power of touch and presence. You can connect with Stacey on Instagram at @stacey.l.schultz. website: staceylschultz.comYour Friend, The Therapist is hosted and produced by Kari Fillian. You can follow the show on Instagram at @yourfriendthetherapistpod and online at https://www.karifillian.com/your-friend-the-therapist-podcast.You can li...2023-10-2637 min
Your Friend, The TherapistAccepting Your Authentic Self with Megan Von FrickenMegan Von Fricken is a licensed clinical social worker with a virtual psychotherapy practice where she specializes in helping people recover from religious harm.You can find Megan on Instagram at @reclaimingself.therapy.Books we mentioned in the episode are:A Radical Awakening by Dr. ShefaliNo Bad Parts by Richard SchwartzFind a transcript of our conversation here. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access t...2023-10-1943 min
Your Friend, The TherapistDeconstructing from Evangelicalism and Mormonism with Natalie WongNatalie Wong lives in Auckland NZ with her whanau. She is an ex evangelical and ex Mormon and is now a proud Atheist. Through deconstructing from evangelicalism and mormonism, she has learned to embrace mental health diagnoses and is figuring out how to balance mental well being while juggling neurodivergency (and just life in general).You can find Natalie on Instagram at @exevangelicalnz. Find a copy of the transcript for this conversation here. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or g...2023-10-1244 min
Your Friend, The TherapistReclaiming Your Intuition with Emilee CrowderEmilee is a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate located in Dallas. Emilee is licensed in Texas and Utah and she works with young adult females who have religious trauma, people-pleasing tendencies, or both. She is a recovering people-pleaser herself & continues to heal from her own religious hurt from her Mormon upbringing. Her therapeutic approach is humanistic, strengths-based & relational, as she helps her clients gain self-trust & cultivate safety while understanding how their past pains have impacted their present relationships & experiences. You can find Emilee on Instagram at @religious.trauma.with.emilee and @therapy.with.emilee, and you can f...2023-10-0542 min
Your Friend, The TherapistBeing a Highly Sensitive Person with Liza DetenberLiza Detenber, LICSW, is a therapist for highly sensitive people experiencing anxiety and low self esteem in Massachusetts and Connecticut. She supports people ages 18 and up in managing their anxiety and owning their needs to live a confident, centered, and connected life. She uses EMDR, mindfulness, somatic (body-based) practices and parts work to support the people she works with.You can learn more about Liza at her website: https://www.lizadetenberlicsw.com/ and find her on Instagram at @liza.licsw. The resources mentioned in the show include: https://highlysensitiverefuge.c...2023-09-2841 min
Your Friend, The Therapist“Where There Are Shoulds, There Is Shame” with Halli Carbrey (plus a bonus addendum on suicide prevention)Halli Carbrey, MA, LPC, is a licensed therapist in Michigan and a coach in Michigan and beyond for women experiencing low desire. She is simultaneously recovering from and treating those with religious trauma. Halli is a cult survivor who is deconstructing and creating a new normal after leaving religion and her marriage.You can find Halli on Instagram at @thedeconstructing.sextherapist.Resources mentioned in this episode are linked below:Leaving the Fold (book) by Marlene WinellWe Can Do Hard Things (podcast) with Glennon Doyle2023-09-2146 min
Your Friend, The TherapistEMDR, Narrative Therapy, and The Power of Relationships with Vicky TruongVicky Truong, AMFT, APCC, is an associate marriage and family therapist and professional clinical counselor practicing out of downtown Tustin, CA. Vicky’s therapeutic approach is through a post-modern/narrative orientation that is non-pathologizing and strengths based. She is also trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (“EMDR”) for clients seeking to stop the effects of trauma from interfering with their present lives. You can find Vicky online at https://www.thewelltherapygroup.com/ and on Instagram at @therapywithvicky. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss...2023-09-1429 min
Your Friend, The TherapistMeditation & Spirituality after High Control Religion with Hannah BrentsHannah Brents is a therapist with a private practice in Massachusetts. She also has a background in religious studies, yoga, and meditation. You can find Hannah on Instagram at @theologytherapist. She also has a YouTube channel where she offers free mental health resources and support for anyone who is recovering from toxic religion and still spiritually curious. On her channel, you will learn how to recover from traumatic experiences and reclaim your identity after leaving a cult or toxic religious community, so that you can be free from shame and guilt to live ac...2023-09-0742 min
Your Friend, The TherapistWellness in Relationships with Cynthia Pecking of The Blue Letter ProjectCynthia Pecking is a marriage and relationship coach who helps couples reclaim their relationship, rewrite their love story and rediscover their sense of identity within the context of their union. Backed by a deep understanding of psychology and a transformation story of her own, Cynthia has helped countless couples reconnect and find hope again. An avid traveler and culture buff, Cynthia speaks three languages and has traded life in her native home of Kentucky, USA to build a home in Germany with her husband Alex and two kids, Max and Eva.The Blue Letter Project is...2023-08-3139 min
Your Therapist Needs TherapyYour Therapist Needs Therapy 17 - Mindful Movement after Religious Trauma with Kari FillianThis week Jeremy gets the chance to chat with Kari Fillian. Jeremy and Kari talk about how trauma lingers in the body, how mindful movement like yoga can help, and how setting intentions in structuring our work helps therapists stay healthy. You can find more about Kari and her work here, and find her on Instagram here. Kari is also kicking off a podcast soon, so you can follow that here!You can learn more about trauma informed yoga here!And, as always, Jeremy and his many ventures can be found at Wellness w...2023-08-3056 min
Your Friend, The Therapist1: Intro to Your Friend, The TherapistWelcome to Your Friend, The Therapist. I'm your host, Kari Fillian, a licensed therapist and yoga teacher. On this podcast, we’re skipping the small talk and working to destigmatize mental health through intimate conversations with everyday people about their mental health journeys and how they stay well in a world that feels like it’s falling apart. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yourfriendthetherapist.substack.com2023-08-1805 min