Shows
Self Centered with Katie and Allie35. How to Know Who You Can Trust (and Who You Can’t)You can love someone and still not be able to trust them.Trust gets complicated, especially when you’re recovering from burnout, people-pleasing, or relational trauma. In this episode, we break down the real components of trust and why discernment (not defaulting to distrust or over-trusting) is the key to staying centered.Inside, we explore:The 7 components of trust from Brené Brown’s BRAVING inventoryHow to recognize when trust is broken due to lack of skill or capacityWhy saying “I’ll do better” isn’t enough (and what needs to come with it)How emotional mat...2025-07-291h 03
Self Centered with Katie and Allie 34. They Got 10 Years of Brain Power Back Just By...Logging Off?Alright Selfies, real talk. If you’ve been feeling scattered, anxious, or just off lately, but can’t stop reaching for your phone, this episode is for you.We’re diving into a wild study where people gave up mobile internet for two weeks (don’t panic; they could still text and call), and the results were astounding: better focus, less anxiety, even more life satisfaction, and improvements comparable to undoing 10 years of age related decline.We break down why our phones have such a grip on us, what we’re really missing when we’re constantl...2025-07-2255 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie33. Speak Up or Let It Go? How to Know When It’s Worth Your EnergyYou want to do the right thing but you’re so damn tired.Do you say something? Keep the peace? Stay quiet even though your values are screaming?In this episode, we break down how to navigate the messy tension between advocating for what matters and honoring your own limits.You’ll learn:How to assess your priorities, capacity, and influence over the situationUsing your body as a guide with “red light/green light” check-insHow to prioritize your energy without betraying your integrityReal questions to ask yourself when you’re stuck in indecision...2025-07-1540 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie32. Stop Beating Around the Bush. Let’s Talk Communication Styles!If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really mean, avoided conflict to keep the peace, or felt like your voice gets lost in relationships, this episode is for you. We’re diving into the four main communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive, and breaking down how each one shows up, why we default to them, and what it takes to move toward assertiveness. You’ll learn how emotional regulation and your core beliefs play a major role in how you communicate, and why assertiveness isn’t just the most effective style, it’s also the most self-honor...2025-07-081h 27
Self Centered with Katie and Allie31. Life Got Better, But You’re Still in Survival Mode? Here’s How to Own Your Next Chapter.You finally left the toxic job, the dysfunctional family, or the one-sided relationship, but now you’re exhausted, emotional, and weirdly resistant to rest?You’re not broken. You’re just coming back to life.In this honest episode, we talk about:What survival mode really looks like (and why it lingers)How trauma rewires your baseline and expectations, without you even realizing itWhy your nervous system resists rest and joyWhy healing often feels harder right before it gets betterHow to honor your healing while gently reorienting to joy, rest, and alignmentPerfect for an...2025-07-011h 09
Self Centered with Katie and Allie30. The CENTERED Framework: 8 Self-Leadership Abilities You Need to Reconnect with Who You Truly AreWhat do you really need to feel like yourself again? In this final episode of our ego series, we reveal the CENTERED framework, 8 key abilities you need to build ego strength, stay rooted in your real, authentic self, and finally live in alignment with your values.Do you know what your needs are? Can you speak your truth without shame? Are your choices led by values, or survival mode?Listen to this episode to walk away with:A clear, practical framework for becoming emotionally steady and self-ledReal stories of how...2025-06-241h 07
Self Centered with Katie and Allie29. Gaslighting 101: When Reality Feels Twisted (and What to Do About It)Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, doubting yourself, or thinking, “Wait… what just happened?” This episode of Self-Centered is here to help you put words to that feeling. In the third installment of our ego series, we unpack gaslighting—how it shows up both intentionally and unintentionally, and introduce four essential filters you can use to recognize it and protect your self-trust. This episode is especially for the overthinkers, the self-blamers, and the deeply empathetic souls who tend to abandon themselves in the name of love, peace, or understanding. You’ll leave with a clearer sense of r...2025-06-171h 36
Self Centered with Katie and Allie28. How Defense Mechanisms Show Up in Relationships (and Leave Everyone Feeling Misunderstood)Ever wonder why someone flips out over simple feedback? Or why you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around certain people?This episode breaks down how ego strength (or the lack of it) impacts your self-talk and emotional regulation, as well as how people perceive (or distort) reality and show up in relationships. Whether you’re someone who tends to spiral in shame or you’re trying to make sense of someone else’s defensiveness, we help you decode the emotional roots beneath the behavior.YOU'LL LEARN:How a strong ego helps you handle f...2025-06-101h 00
Self Centered with Katie and Allie27. “Wait, Is It Me or Their Ego?”You’ve heard the word ego tossed around like it’s a bad thing—like it only shows up in narcissists, jerks, or self-obsessed people. But what if that’s not the whole story?In this first episode of our 4-part ego series, we break down what the ego actually is (hint: you have one, and you need it), how it develops, and why it matters for your emotional wellbeing, boundaries, and sense of self.Through a psychodynamic lens, we explore how weak or wounded egos often lead to behaviors like gaslighting, narcissism, people-pleasing, or perfecti...2025-06-031h 22
Self Centered with Katie and Allie26. Life After the Breakup: Rebuilding When You’re Still Not OkayIn this real, raw episode, Allie and Katie talk about the emotional limbo that happens after a breakup, when you’re no longer who you were with them—but not yet fully who you’re becoming on your own.This isn’t just about heartbreak. It’s about your shifting identity, letting go of the future you imagined, and slowly rebuilding a life that feels like yours.We talk about:Why you can grieve something you chose to walk away fromWhat it actually means to “feel your feelings” (and the sneaky way you're probably unknowingly av...2025-05-271h 16
Self Centered with Katie and Allie25. "Unlovable": The Hidden Belief Driving Perfectionism & People PleasingIf you’ve ever felt like love, respect, or even basic human decency must be earned through performance, perfection, or self-sacrifice, this episode is for you. We explore the hidden roots of people-pleasing and perfectionism, revealing how these patterns often begin as adaptive strategies in childhood but quietly follow us into adult relationships, work, and self-worth. Through personal stories, emotional breakthroughs, and raw reflection, we uncover how a core belief of being “unlovable unless” fuels the need to over-function, prove ourselves, and stay small. Most importantly, we discuss how to break free from these cycles and begin honoring your needs...2025-05-2057 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie24. Are Your Priorities Actually Yours? How to Align with Your True ValuesDo you ever feel like your life looks good on paper—but something’s still off?In this episode, we unpack how not living your true values leads to feeling burnt out and empty, and how to identify and prioritize what really matters to create a life that lights you up. Perfect for recovering people-pleasers, type As, and over-functioners.We cover:What values really are—and how they’re shaped by family, culture, and conditions of worthHow to tell if your priorities are betraying your actual needsThe link between values, self-esteem, and emotional exhaustionPrompts to help...2025-05-131h 11
Self Centered with Katie and Allie23. How to Make Friends as a Grown Ass Adult (Without Feeling Weird About It)Somewhere in adulthood, an inevitable shift occurs where making and retaining new friends just seems tough - but it doesn't have to be. In this episode, we explore why friendship often takes a backseat as we age and how to shift your mindset and approach to build meaningful, mutual connections. Whether you're craving deeper relationships, moving to a new city, or just tired of feeling disconnected, this conversation is packed with honesty, strategies, and encouragement for getting out of an isolated rut. This episode is for anyone who wants to make friends more intentionally while staying true to themselves.2025-05-061h 17
Self Centered with Katie and Allie22. The Traits and Skills you Need to Build Authentic, Lasting RelationshipsLoneliness is as dangerous as smoking — and most people don’t even realize it.In today’s conversation, we break down the research on why emotionally safe, reciprocal relationships are essential for your health, happiness, and self-worth. Plus, we share practical tools for spotting real connection versus surface-level friendships and love. If you want deeper friendships, better romantic relationships, or to feel a little less alone — this one’s for you.Inside this episode:The 4 personality traits and 5 skills that predict thriving relationshipsHow to trust yourself when navigating friendships and datingWhy authenticity is magnetic — and how to d...2025-04-2937 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie21. Confidence is Built, Not Born: How to Take Action Even When You're ScaredHave you ever found yourself waiting to feel confident before taking action, only to stay stuck? Or maybe you find that perfectionism holds you back from ever trying something new? If so, this episode on confidence may be for you. In this episode, Allie and Katie unpack the real meaning of confidence, and spoiler alert: it’s not something you either have or don’t. It’s something you build through courageous action, self-trust, and small wins. IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:The difference between confidence and self-esteemWhy confidence is task-specific and needs to be practi...2025-04-2246 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie20. Real Self-Esteem vs. ‘Other-Esteem’: How to Build Unshakable Self-WorthThink self-esteem is about feeling like you’re “the best”? Think again. If you’re tired of the comparison trap and want a healthier relationship with yourself, this one’s for you.This episode unpacks the myths and truths about self-esteem and how to actually start liking yourself without needing approval, praise, or perfection. We also share our personal stories about unlearning old standards and building real self-worth by staying rooted in our values.In this episode:Why self-esteem isn’t about being perfect—or being likedThe role of emotional wiring, social media, and self-trustHow...2025-04-1540 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie19. Feeling Defensive? Tame the Shame Around FeedbackDoes criticism leave you spiraling and feeling like you're the worst? You’re not alone. You’re doing the best you can with what you know, and there’s another way.In this empowering episode, we unpack why shame hijacks your nervous system, how to pause instead of crashing out, how to navigate hard conversations without abandoning yourself, and what real emotional repair looks like.If you’re tired of letting shame run the show, this episode will show you a new way.You’ll learn:• Why feedback often feels like a personal a...2025-04-0824 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie18. Speaking Your Truth vs Shaming OthersStruggling with the guilt of sharing your truth? You’re not alone. In this episode, Allie and Katie explore why truth-telling is not the same as shaming—even when others react as if it is. Learn how to stay grounded in your healing without carrying responsibility for others’ discomfort.This episode will help you:• Understand how internalized beliefs about loyalty can keep you silent• Release shame around acknowledging your truth• Break free from people-pleasing• Discern when you're ready to share, and howGo to the episode page to leave a qui...2025-04-0137 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie17. You’re Not Crazy: Dismantling the Stigma Around Emotions and "Mental Illness"Have you ever been told you're too emotional, too sensitive, or it's all in your head?In this episode, we’re breaking down the toxic messages we’ve all internalized about emotions—and why struggling with your mental health doesn’t make you weak.Inside this episode, you’ll learn:• How society gaslights your natural emotional responses• The real reason people internalize shame around mental health• How emotional suppression creates disconnection and burnout• What therapy actually is—and why it’s not just for “crazy” people• How to reclaim your se...2025-03-2538 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie16: Do You Need a Therapist or a Coach? Understanding the Key DifferencesNot sure if you need therapy or coaching? Many people wonder where to turn for support in their personal growth journey. In this episode, we explore the key differences, bust common myths, and share insights on:• How therapy helps when you’re struggling vs. how coaching helps when you’re ready to grow• Why you keep dealing with the same "devil" even when you reach new levels in your personal development journey.• What to ask before choosing a coach or therapist to tell if they're right for you• Why therapy alone may not help...2025-03-1855 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie15: Beyond the Couch: What Therapy Is (and Isn’t) and Debunking the MythsStarting therapy can feel intimidating, but in this episode, we’re breaking it down and debunking the myths! We share our contrasting experiences to explore what therapy really is (and isn’t). We tackle it all; who therapy is for, what actually happens in a session, and do I really have to lay on a couch?If you’ve ever worried about being judged, not knowing what to say, or even how to "break up" with a therapist who isn’t the right fit, we’ve got you covered. Whether you’re curious about therapy or hesitant to take the...2025-03-111h 51
Self Centered with Katie and Allie14. When They Say, "You've Changed": Standing Your Ground in Relationships“You’re making it all about you!” Ever been hit with this accusation when setting boundaries? You’re not alone!In this episode, we break down why asserting your needs isn’t selfish and how to navigate pushback from partners, friends, family, and even adult children. This episode is for you if you're tired of feeling guilty for standing up for yourself. Tune in to learn how to stand firm and create healthier, more balanced relationships.In this episode, we cover:Why people react negatively when you prioritize yourselfHow to respond when someone says "you've cha...2025-03-0439 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie13. The Difference Between Guilt and Shame, and How to Handle BothHave you ever felt stuck in a spiral of self-blame and wondered whether it’s a sign to change or just noise holding you back? In this episode, we break down the key differences between guilt and shame with one as a useful signal guiding you toward growth, while the other is a heavy weight that keeps you stuck. Guilt says, “I made a mistake,” and points you toward action; shame whispers, “I am the mistake,” and disconnects you from your true self. By learning to recognize and understand these emotions, you can stop punishing yourself with the dreaded shame spir...2025-02-2544 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie12. How to Keep Yourself from Spiraling When Everything Feels Out of ControlIn this episode, Katie and Allie talk about how to deal when it feels like your life and the world are on fire and you have no control so you can protect your wellbeing, prevent self sabotage, and set yourself up to make progress again when you're ready. This episode will help anyone who is feeling overwhelmed and unable to improve the things in their life, and the world, that matter to them and want to know what they CAN do in times like these.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:A metaphor to better understand...2025-02-181h 17
Self Centered with Katie and Allie11. "If It Isn't Love, It Isn't For You" - How VERB LOVE Can Transform Your Relationships and Help You Distinguish Between Love as a "Signal" vs Love as "Noise"It's a Valentine's Day Special! In this episode, Katie and Allie break down the concept of "verb love" and what it means for love to be a signal vs what it means for love to be noise. Allie recounts a recent personal experience that illustrates the differences between love and verb love within a friendship. This episode is beneficial for anyone looking to create deeper relationships with themselves and others and those looking to better understand how love and compatibility coexist in relationships without being mutually exclusive.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:What...2025-02-111h 07
Self Centered with Katie and Allie10. Anger: How to Feel, Communicate, and Respond to itIn this episode, Katie and Allie discuss the emotion of anger, both when you're feeling and expressing it and when other people are angry with you. This episode is helpful for people who feel uncomfortable with their or others' anger, don't know how to communicate it in a healthy way, and want to create a better relationship with their anger others' anger.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:When anger is truly legitimate vs. when it's subconsciously covering up the REAL (and uncomfortable) emotions.What anger is trying to tell you and what to do with...2025-02-0450 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie9. Instagram vs Reality; How Does the Journey to Becoming Self Centered ACTUALLY Look in Practice?When faced with the life changing process of becoming more self centered, you might ask yourself "Do people ACTUALLY say and do these things? What does life REALLY look like in the midst of carving out this path?"In this episode, we share with you our personal experience of what life felt and looked like as we learned to set boundaries, sit with challenging emotions, redefine vales, and stay in our seats. It's not always a pretty path, but the life you create is worth it.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:Tools and...2025-01-281h 09
Self Centered with Katie and Allie8. Surviving a Smear Campaign: How to Have Positive Self-Esteem, Even When People Judge YouHow do you maintain your self-esteem when people have negative perceptions of you and, even worse, spread gossip and make other people see you negatively, too?In this episode, we cover strategies for dealing with negative perceptions, smear campaigns, family conflicts, and the importance of setting healthy boundaries so you can stay true to and feel good about yourself amidst it all.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How to cope when others judge you negatively or convince others that you're bad/selfish/crazy, etc.That people might misunderstand you because of their own...2025-01-211h 28
Self Centered with Katie and Allie7. Deathbed Regrets: How Living an Authentic and Aligned Life Helps You Reclaim Your Power and Maximize Happiness.We all aspire to live a life with no regrets. So what exactly DO people regret when they've come face to face with the end? And how can we avoid experiencing these regrets ourselves?In this episode, we discuss Bronnie Ware's The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying and how these regrets occur when your life doesn't truly center you. We also discuss connections between physical health and emotional suppression as presented in Gabor Maté's The Myth of Normal. This episode will empower you to realign your life with the priorities that matter most to you so y...2025-01-141h 22
Self Centered with Katie and Allie6. How to Set and Keep BOUNDARIES, Especially with People Who Don't Respect ThemThis is your comprehensive masterclass on exactly how to set and follow through on boundaries, say no, and set expectations for what you want and need in relationships. This is a crucial skill you MUST learn and use in order to be self centered, especially if you have trouble being assertive or you've been made to feel bad for putting yourself first.This episode has tons of real world examples of exactly what to say to set boundaries in the first place AND what to say when people push back on them so you can stand firm...2025-01-071h 32
Self Centered with Katie and Allie5. New Year Resolutions That Stick: How to create meaningful goals that last beyond January It's New Year Resolution time! This popular annual ritual can be a valuable tool for prioritizing health, finances, and personal alignment with the start of a fresh year. But unfortunately, even with the best intentions, less than 1 in 10 individuals will achieve their new year goals.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:How to set goals that truly matter to YOUHabit stacking and tools to combat common resolution pitfallsLeveraging mindset and delusionHow self awareness and emotional honesty can make or break your goalsLetting go of perfectionism while working towards a goalGo to the episode page...2024-12-301h 51
Self Centered with Katie and Allie4. From Surviving to Thriving: How to Create an Authentic Life that Centers YouIn this episode, Katie and Allie discuss the concept of finding your center across the 8 dimensions of wellness, exploring what it means to thrive versus merely survive. This episode is especially helpful for you if you feel off-balance, want to understand what it means to live authentically, or are seeking a practical framework to improve your overall well-being.Join Katie and Allie in this deep, reflective conversation that will inspire you to align with your authentic self and create a life where you feel centered, empowered, and thriving.IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN:2024-12-231h 02
Self Centered with Katie and Allie3. Limiting Beliefs to Being Self-Centered In this episode, Katie and Allie discuss common limiting beliefs and the patterns that consciously and sub-consciously get in the way of being self-centered. This episode is helpful for people who feel "stuck" in unhealthy patterns, self sabotage, or relationships that cause you to leave your seat.IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:Examples of limiting beliefsUnderstanding objectification and its impact on the quality of your relationshipsCommon responses that signal potential relationship imbalance (J.A.D.E)How limiting beliefs prevent you from being self centeredQuestions to ask yourself to help work through your limiting beliefsHow...2024-12-171h 03
Self Centered with Katie and Allie2. How to Stop Overextending Yourself by "Staying in Your Seat"In this episode Allie and Katie share a practice that will put an end to overextending, abandoning, and burning yourself out, "staying in your seat". This practice is especially helpful if you have a big, empathetic heart, have difficulty setting boundaries, and tend to overfunction and do too much for others.IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN:What it means to "stay in your seat" and 3 steps to do itStrategies for identifying your needs and boundariesHow to prevent one-sided, imbalanced relationship dynamicsHow to stay true to yourselfHow to deal with the guilt and fear of saying...2024-12-1051 min
Self Centered with Katie and Allie1. Getting to Know "Self Centered"Self Centered isn't selfish... it's essential.We know what it's like feel burnt out, stuck, taken for granted, and like your life revolves around everyone but yourself. We were there once too and it wasn't until we learned and deliberately chose to trust ourselves, prioritize our needs, and set healthy boundaries that we were finally able to free ourselves from the people-pleasing hamster wheel that left us merely renting space in our own lives.In this flagship episode, we set the foundation by sharing our personal and professional experiences that informed our decision to start "...2024-12-0349 min