Shows
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThree Buttons and a Bean*gong noise* Kelly and Amy are back with a little holiday cheer as they recap Kenneth Branagh's A Midwinter's Tale (or In the Bleak Midwinter to our UK Cousins), a 1995 black-and-white love letter to Shakespeare, the power of live theatre and Joan Collins. They discuss their obsession with Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean, people making horrible choices, the casual homophobia of the mid-90s, FADGE, eating chili in England,Rita Repulsa, the Burning Man of the East, what the fox says, a church run by organized crime, Sporkle quizzes, a brief history of camp and the real-life inspiration for Hamlet. 2021-01-042h 09Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFlimsy as a FloozyNEAME willing, Kelly & Amy are proud to present their last Downton Abbey recap ever. All your favorites are here for the movie: Fashion Backwards, Amy Repeats History and a litany of goofy-ass callbacks to episodes past. They worry that this movie might get nominated for a gd Oscar, speculate about Matthew Goode's reaction to being contractually obligated to appear in this enjoyable but ultimately pointless thing, learn about hot gay sex throughout history, rejoice that there's basically no plot for Bates, call Isobel an Isoballer, get weepy at Maggie Smith's final scene as the Dowager Countess and Thomas...2019-09-2400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe End..?Due to technical difficulties, Kelly & Amy wrap up their coverage of Victoria and make a stunning announcement! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-12-1000 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastBaklava SyndromeKelly & Amy talk a lot about Taco Bell in this recap of Victoria S2E3. They also chat Bane, Poortown Lite & Bohemian Rhapsody. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-12-0300 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastPagets All the Way DownKelly & Amy overcome texts not going through to bring you the golden episode of Victoria, S2E2. They chat about Tilda Swinton, Dadbert and DODubs dividing up all the arts, the deliciousness of Ernst, poor baby Ada Lovelace, the rudeness of Shakespeare fans, Victorian Shake Weights, Lord M playing The Sims, marriage advice from Lord Byron, and the fact that Vicky doesn't understand metaphors See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-11-2600 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastI Do, Charloote, I Do!Gather round, wrigglepantses! It's the S1 finale of Victoria and Kelly & Amy are throwing up some nein signs. They discuss the vagaries of digital copyrights, apologize to to Alex Jennings, tell Vicky to stop watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, first-year marital strife, Lehzen's wet nurse requirements, Victorian maternity wear, terrible editorial choices, dueling rulings, and The Duchy Formerly known as Bone Town. Kelly thanks heaven for small mercies, Amy calls the plant police, and everyone agrees that Scarface is the worst. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-10-2200 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Return of the LuncheonKelly & Amy round the corner on S1E7 of Victoria. They're still not having it with 50 Shades of Chef, but otherwise enjoy this exploration of the Industrial Revolution. Kelly has a broom for a hand, Amy is somewhat boring and everyone's gotta find out what happened with Aquaman! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-10-1500 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastWhat Would Gwen from Torchwood Do?Kelly & Amy realy have the gigles in this recap of Victoria S1E6. They also fire Daisy Goodwin, experience the joys of Cecilia Buggin, explain sentient couch insurance options, dig into morganatic marriages, reveal that you can be horny and a good person at the same time, diss extremely slow southern accents, praise Wellington for living his best life, and eventually remember the name of the band Death Cab for Cutie. Kelly doesn't like to make a false idol of herself to herself, Amy fulfills her dream of being a punchline, and everyone's future selves have a lot to...2018-10-0800 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastNew Coin, New HandkerchiefKelly & Amy speak truth to Medium and call Louisa May Alcott out for her lies in their recap of Victoria S1E5. They also make fun of Kentucky and California, hail Coburg: home of the sinister laugh, take applications for ladle bitches, and smack talk parents. Kelly makes a sweet burn on the privy council, Amy imagines herself as a cokehead, and everyone wants Vicky's creative team to get it together! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-10-0100 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastDashCamWe open at the milk bar as Kelly and Amy recap Victoria S1E4 and really get to know the "enthralling but prickly" Albert. The also delve into the upside of the opiod epidemic, declare England to be the Kentucky of Europe, wonder where servants sign up to get in on the scamming, suggest that Alex Jones should change his name, shame Vicky's fat-shaming, cheer the invention of philately, reminisce about horrifying Sesame Street movies, defend the Windsor uniform, and geek out about the Downton Abbey movie. Kelly has a Dench obsession, Amy has lady-in-waiting blindness, and everyone agrees it...2018-09-2400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastA Hard Cake Is Good To FindKelly & Amy encounter a real Michigan J. Frog situation in their recap of Victoria S1E3. They also hate on suburban Connecticut and Coburg, speculate about bonnets, decide Vicky's mom is a vampire, discuss the challenges of shaking a stalker who is also the queen, wonder why Sir John speaks in an evil accent 100% of the time, and finally meet Prince Albert! Thanks as always for listening--there's more UYDS goodness over at Patreon! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-09-1700 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastSumma Cum RatKelly & Amy are back at it with a recap of Victoria S1E2. Vicky's mom does not have it going on, Victorian necklines are terrible, the House of Lords is just a lower key version of Mrs. Patmore yelling, the portrait of Jenna Coleman doesn't look like Jenna Coleman, various people are rude on nuns, no one can make a cake without grifting, there's an eternal flame at Buckingham Palace, King Lear is an idiot and Rufus Sewell continues attractive. Kelly says college is a trap, Amy is a Gemini betch, and everybody imagines a world where Vicky...2018-09-1000 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastLet's Just Go To Burger KingRejoice! GLORIANA! Kelly & Amy make their triumphant return to podcasting with this recap of Victoria S1E1. Unfortunately, Amy's computer crashed while she was editing this episode, banishing them to the land of wind and ghosts, so we don't have our usual hilarious show notes. The episode itself survived, so please to enjoy it, because Amy also lost all her progress on Tomb Raider so she is very sad. We'll be posting new episodes weekly, and keep an eye on our Patreon for Whalecast and other bonus content! Hooray, we're doing stuff again! Rejoice! GLORIANA. See acast...2018-09-0300 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastKoala ChlamydiaThe gaffes have it as Kelly & Amy return to explain why everyone looks like that on The Crown and Call the Midwife. They chat about how trans people are everywhere, Lucille Ball's natural hair color, purported bisexual James Dean, makeups, mainstreaming science fiction, the politics of African American hair, Rose's character on Downton Abbey, miniskirt Oxfordians, Jack Skellington things, the Peacock revolution, Anglican religious orders, and mantyhose. Kelly explains why she shaves off 30% of her hair, Amy wants a makeover, and it's good that we all have fun. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out...2018-06-1200 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastOprah: The Highlander of EverythingKelly & Amy are finally back from their break with Part 1 of the long-awaited Fashion Backwards/Amy Repeats History episode for The Crown S2 and all of Call the Midwife! Their research is as shallow and unreliable as ever as they discuss how fun it is to say Givenchy when talking about Meghan Markle's wedding dress, which fictional Roz Elton John is most like, shipping Nassoon, getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Billy Graham watching the Watchmen, Giant Winston Churchill's closest lady friend, the return of Biarritz, and The Crown's inaccurate approach to history. Kelly forgot...2018-05-2800 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastJust As Vicar-y As You PleaseIt's a special #sorrynotsorry binge-recap of Call the Midwife S6, featuring episodes 4-8! First, Kelly & Amy catch each other up on Top Chef, The Crown casting news, Kids' Baking Championship, and The Alienist. Then they get down to business, outing Patsy as not a Good Lesbian, declaring that time doesn't exist in Poplar, bemoaning the dying art of houndstooth, grappling with the weirdness of the Nobel Prize, imitating Sister Monica Joan, speculating on the market value of a fresh baby, and marveling at two people who make their livings pulling gross things out of people. Kelly wants a celebrity...2018-04-0900 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastTOAD?!Kelly & Amy are looking for lesbians in their discussion of Call the Midwife S6, Episodes 1-3, the show where everyone's pregnant until proven otherwise! They also get into pregnancy tongue twisters, diss medical residents, briefly welcome back Agnes Towler and narrative economy, and get in on Sister Monica Joan's television scam. Kelly still misses Nell Carter, Amy doesn't laugh when Kelly cries for once, and everybody hates Sister Ursula even though they love Harriett Walter. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-03-2000 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Father, Cake & the Holy SpiritKelly conveys her deep dislike of Call the Midwife's S6 Christmas Special to Amy and they flit through a discussion of the once & future Santa of Poplar, a confusing take on apartheid, Sister Nobody's gingerhood, sick burns on Nurse Boring, and cranky old white dudes realizing that people use water for things. Kelly cannot pronounce El Alamein, Amy could be a real cheerful jerk, and SOMEBODY still hasn't read the Phantom Tollbooth (it is AMY). See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-03-1200 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastHold My Wooden PenisKelly cries a whole bunch as she describes Call the Midwife S5 Episodes 6, 7 & 8 to Amy. She weaves a tale of surrogate screamers, Nonnatus House Yelp reviews, great bangs, the importance of wearing shorts, Bryllcreem, barge people, and unresolved mystery apples. Kelly has a lot of criticisms of Words with Friends, Amy's a walking Magna Carta, and sometimes new-timey people didn't know stuff! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-03-0500 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey Podcast5 Maggie Smiths Freebie: The Prime of Miss Jean BrodieKelly & Amy lead with Gaunt in this free preview of their 5 Maggie Smiths coverage! Get over to Patreon to pledge $1 or more for access to exclusive content, including Whalecast, We Are Not Amused & upcoming 5 Maggie Smiths recaps of Hook, The VIPS, Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire & Sister Act! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-02-0600 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastSex Is Wasted On the RichKelly & Amy finish their coverage of The Crown S2E10 because, luckily, one of them was not snatched away by a passing pterodactyl. They offer a course in Remedial Pimping & Adultery 101, agree that cruelty is ground zero for comedy, speculate about Liz's word of the day calendar, tell Margaret to keep her rumors to herself, celebrate the beginning of funny jokes in Great Britain, and hail the royal hooha doctor. Kelly can't pronounce "cuckolded," Amy plans to take a nap, and everyone hopes Peter Morgan gets it together in S3. ...2018-01-2300 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastDaddy Don't AgreeKelly & Amy struggle through their recap of the excellent but very painful The Crown S2E9. They discuss the foosball loophole, Eton's absurdly ugly uniforms, sweaters v. jumpers, little known facts about the Magna Carta and Peter Pan, whether Dr. Hahn and his weird mute secretary are vampires, chide Stephen Daldry for his timeline fuckery, rank the terrible parents on the show, and declare Greg Wise to be the cowbell of The Crown. Kelly transcribes 'em as she sees 'em, Amy has secret pizza parties with the Wachowski sisters, and everyone's grasp on basic Downton facts is really...2018-01-2200 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFetch Me My Floozies!In their recap of The Crown S2E8, Kelly & Amy chat about pants made of butts, laugh at moms who can't do anything right, log a Porchie sighting, wonder if Jackie Kennedy can properly inseminate a horse, imagine Liz's unlikely chain of animal enforcers, and are delighted by an apparent foxtrot! Kelly offers a glimpse into the madness behind her editing process, Amy tells a cool story about her Commodore 64, and everyone hates Michael C. Hall as JFK so much. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-01-1700 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastHuman Relationships Are Terrible, CREDITS!Kelly & Amy open up an infinity mirror of gender in their recap of The Crown S2E7. They chat about turkeys in Oakland, little known facts about the Warsaw Pact, what it takes to make a Ryan Murphy, the actual worst parent on a show filled with them, childhood train trauma, the first and only "Lilibet" of the season, the royal swarm, and Replacement Mike. Kelly misquotes rap lyrics, Amy doesn't want Oprah to run for President, and everyone agrees we could have done without Phil & Liz's weird barmaid role play. See acast.com/privacy...2018-01-1500 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastCodename: PeachesBobbety Watch 2018 is over in Kelly & Amy's recap of The Crown S2E6! They cover the Patricia of forests, wonder what Tinky Winky is up to, mock the DODubs for thinking "jobs" are the same as "pointless makeworks that don't require any skills, encourage everyone to not protect Nazis, speculate about Liz's conversations with God, side with Phil for a change, and sing a silly song about Hitler. Kelly subverts the chain of command, Amy plays Diplomacy a lot, and everyone boos the brief return of Giant Winston Churchill See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out...2018-01-1000 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe PuncheningSemantic humor abounds in Kelly & Amy's recap of The Crown S2E5 as they discuss Tommy LaMoustache's dogs who look just like him, ITV versus Netflix, Dudey McRapeface, stubble in training, the racism inherent to Looney Tunes, a semi-gay sexual orientation, Liz's ourobouros of the face, whether Patricia is an actual person, and the 1950s version of yoga pants. Kelly is worried that someone she cares about is a mean YouTube troll, Amy has 1.5 friend, and no one knows if the UK has nickels. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-01-0900 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: So This Is Why People Like ViolenceKelly & Amy agree that Peaky Blinders is a funny name for a show as they wrap up their S4 coverage. They wonder about Comrade Baby's upbringing, decide that Tom Hardy dissed Adrian Brody (not to his face), declare Abalama Ding Dong to be their best nickname ever, demand a band called Jack Dawson & the Titanics, congratulate Linda on coming a long way, baby, and marvel at Cillian's brass balls. Kelly doesn't get the point of boxing, Amy has never blinded anyone, and everyone completes their stated goal of pointing out that Adrien Brody assaulted Halle Berry in every...2018-01-0800 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting:The World is my Bloomin' OnionSomeday Kelly & Amy will record an episode that doesn't reference Newsies, but that day is not today. In their recap of Peaky Blinders S4E5, they try to figure out who wasn't embarrassd by WWI, debate whether GRAAAACE or Sam Neil would make a better zombie, get nostalgic for Danny Whizz Bang & conrade Baby, beg for a line of Lady Blinders' coats, hope that Steve!Knight sometimes gets drunk and listens to the podcast, and remember that this whole series is a trick. Kelly shares her list of replacement Adrien Brodys, Amy's not cut out to be a...2018-01-0800 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Bed of Marital DiscordThings are starting to not suck in this recap of The Crown S2E4 (in spite of its on-the-nose music cues). Kelly & Amy dig into Vanessa Kirby's powerhouse performance as Princess Margaret aka the Heisenberg of the monarchy, say hello to the original party satellite, tell Phil to keep his banana out of the produce aisle, suggest that Mrs. Mac use a pay phone to trash talk the PM, bemoan the decline of meeting people on buses, and admire Matthew Goode's tidy little hips. Kelly cries a lot, Amy offers a solution for the two-screen problem, and everyone likes...2018-01-0400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastOrganic Self-Care HornKelly & Amy introduce a 3-point system for fixing men in this recap of The Crown S2E3. They also decide that medical marijuana won't help A & E, the only marital aids available in the 50s were beards and crude wooden devices, Eileen is winning her divorce a la Angelina Jolie, Thursday is not even a good day of the week, and Mike wins the award for "most missed beard." Kelly loves watching men shave, Amy is too tired for her new comforter, and everyone has great ideas they're never going to execute on. See acast.com...2018-01-0300 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: Where's My Boogie Rock?Kelly & Amy celebrate the Summer of Menzies in December with their recap of Peaky Blinders S4E4. They cheer the return of the Peaky pimp walk, wonder why everyone's raggin' on Linda's mom, invoke the Halle Berry mafia, unexpectedly compliment Aiden Gillen, decide babies need beer, and beg Steve!Knight for fewer monologues and more Horse Bitch. Kelly makes a pie crust promise, Amy's busy violating the natural order, and everyone has drankened a lot of water. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2018-01-0300 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: Too Bougie for BhamKelly & Amy learn that some girls are more important than others in their recap of Peaky Blinders S4E3. They discuss Selective Grace Syndrome, the Luncheon Kingdom, try to figure out when Pol got her hair cut, lobby for the dissolution of Future Arsonists of America, diagnose Adrien Brody with lockjaw, decry Cillian's stupid pocket of convenient retconning, and declare Lizzie too good for the Shelbys. All this, plus Kelly finally learns what a Nintendo Switch is, Amy compares Peaky Blinders to Murder, She Wrote, and everyone has fun always carrying a light sweater. See acast.com...2018-01-0200 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastHaberdashery NonsenseKelly & Amy dive into Episodes 4 & 5 of Call the Midwife S5. They visit Paint Town, decide no one lives on the Isle of Man, and conclude that birthing is all about positive reinforcement. Kelly gets so worried about Paddington, Amy discovers a gift worse than socks, and everyone agrees this show is kind of a Dickens novel. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-12-3100 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: Changretta VendettaKelly & Amy recap Peaky Blinders S4E2. Full description coming soon!NOTE: We had a lot of technical issues on this episode, which was recorded remotely. We've fixed as much as we can, but you may notice some weird noise or gaps in plot. Our apologies and thanks for your patience. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-12-3100 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastNever Trust a JeremyKelly & Amy recap S5 Episodes 2 & 3 of Call the Midwife, and what a special guest they have in Mr. Mason! They also chat about Rosie the Riveter (for breastfeeding), dock sickness, a possible Victorian term for "chamber pot," the CTM Maris, and the show's inexhaustible fake suspense box. Kelly reveals that consciousness is a scourge, Amy doesn't own any boring dresses, and everyone agrees that Sweeney Todd makes a lot of sense in 2017. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-12-3100 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: Indie-Go-GunKelly & Amy do their best for a change as they recap the very welcome return of Peaky Blinders! They also cope with Post Traumatic Downton Syndrome, discuss dark prayers, violate copyright law, celebrate two Christmases, ponder Britain's many accents relative to its modest size, laugh at Tommy Shelby's jokes, discover a new Charlie Murphy, and visit Arthur and Linda's farm of peaceful retirement. Kelly loves dangerous sociopaths, Amy loves dot matrix printers, and Billy Eichner is sadly no longer listening to UYDS. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-12-2100 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastDUMP. HIM.Kelly & Amy spot the first corgis of the season in their recap of The Crown S2E2. Things are looking bad for HRH the Duke of Edinburgh in an episode that boasts a lack of attorney-client privilege, activation of the Mountbatten family history subplot, Emma Thompson getting Greg Wise promoted to series regular, a reporter by way of Degrassi, and an infinity mirror of puns. Kelly misses a crucial butt-smacking, Amy identifies the symbolic line, and everyone hates Beardy Phil and all his empty promises. See acast.com...2017-12-1800 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastEileen (Spoiler Alert) Is Not Going to Come OnKelly, Amy & all your favorite royals are back with recaps of S2 of Peter Morgan's The Crown! They compare Hollywood royals versus the real thing, break it to Mike's daughter that he loves her less than hookers, reveal something surprising about Horatio Hornblower, beg Liz not to read Phil's emails, discuss the logistics of getting rid of a ghost ballerina, enjoy a Mountbatten-style performance of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, and identify the 3 people who can read Liz's guernal. Kelly lays down the rules for birthday party gifting, Amy remembers the horse party, and everyone agrees that Kelly &...2017-12-1100 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Lump of Coal in Poplar's StockingBy order of their Patreon supporters, Kelly & Amy switch up the format with "Tell the Midwife:" Kelly sobs her way through Call the Midwife and then tells Amy what happened. In this episode, they cover Season 5's first two-part Christmas special and Episode 1. Get ready to party with Nurse Cranky, Nurse Boring, and Sister Nobody, reset the counter for fatal accidents at the custard factory, clothe babies in costers, pit capitalism against vows of poverty, and root for the return of Chummy! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-12-0400 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastWe Are Not Amused PreviewKelly finally makes good on her promise to dissect The Royal We by The Fug Girls, Jessica Morgan and Heather Cocks, a book that has everything--words, foreshadowing & romance, even! This is a whole chilled out thing, and you can listen to this one for freesies as Kelly Googles where Megan Markle is from in real time! Get over to Patreon to hear the rest, people! https://www.patreon.com/upyoursdownstairs See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-11-2700 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastChance-anadaKelly & Amy finally make good on their promise of a Regency-era standalone episode to pair with their 1995 Pride & Prejudice recaps (available on Patreon)! In their usual hastily researched fashion, they discuss rickety Game of Thrones magic, the history of Latin American independence, bathroom stuff, Britain's stylish but otherwise reprehensible George IV, bundling, body lice, the invention of podcasts, the correct pronunciation of Fitzherbert, and more capes than is strictly necessary. Kelly finally learns why it's called the Regency period, Amy imitates Karina Longworth, and everyone has stars and garters! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and...2017-11-2400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastPronounciation AnxietyKelly & Amy are back with irritated sniping and an unexpected recap of the very upsetting 2001 HBO movie Conspiracy. Get ready for Rogue One spoilers, Millenial blindness, a new UYDS motto, Bugs Bunny's directorial debut, laws like ice cream, two anti-Semitic Martin Luthers, Instagram Farben, Peak Colin Firth, the importance of choosing a non-evil job, and the return of the Whore Institute! All this, plus Kelly hates Napoleonic twaddle, Amy won't read the spreadsheet, and everybody wonders if this movie should have even been made. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out...2017-11-1300 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastSalsa SharkKelly & Amy risk heat stroke to bring you this recap of Wolf Hall S1E6, Master of Phantoms. They get wistful for the Whore Institute, complain about Game of Thrones, feel grateful that lawful divorce no longer needs to require murder, criticize Anne's beheading getup, whine about the lack of cutlery, assert that not every problem can be solved by swearing on the Bible, and advocate for their burial in the Westminster Abbey Podcaster's Corner. Kelly doesn't like the word fingering, Amy still wants to know what happened to Sokka, and no one should get their hopes up, UYDS-wise. 2017-09-0400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFully Crow, Fully ChickenKelly & Amy implore you to never shake a wolf in their recap of Wolf Hall S1E5, Crows. They also remind everyone that the rift is in Cardiff, Gardiner is still ugly, girls' crossbows have ribbons on them, Jane Seymour is a super genius, and it's always time for modesty. Kelly wishes they were playing Duck Hunt, Amy takes remedial smelling classes, and the entire podcast is sponsored by num-nums! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-09-0400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastTypically Dumb: A Tale of the RichKelly & Amy quote a lot of other tv shows in their recap of Wolf Hall, S1E4. They also coin a term to describe a group of Boleyns, tell everyone to stop doing cocaine, appreciate punctuation humor, wonder if dick tapestries were a thing, talk smack about Bran on Game of Thrones, and declare this possibly the best episode of Wolf Hall (although there are still two more to go). Kelly talks about a weird dream she had, Amy hates asparagus, and everyone loves a good Family Matters reference. See...2017-08-0100 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastDo Cromwells Dream of Electric Sheep?Condragulations are in order as Kelly & Amy recap Wolf Hall S1E3! Strap on your trigger warnings as they cast "My Fair Lady 2: The Sexting," popesplain, introduce the Bible-52s, talk smack about Henry and Anne's wedding, and laugh at Thomas More. Kelly's been an asshole since birth, Amy is wearing cute sandals, and no one understands what Jane Seymour's deal is. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-07-1700 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastA Beverage From Ocean SprayKelly & Tom celebrate the Willennium in their recap of Wolf Hall, S1E2. They ID the Sam and Diane of Austin Friars, ask some witch friends about stuff, submit a show to the fringe festival, talk about Pride weekend two weeks late, figure out how you get myxamatosis, and head to the patent office. Kelly tells a cool story, Tom reminisces about Air Jordans, and everyone agrees kinging is heck of a gig. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-07-1100 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastCall Me ClarkyKelly & Tom return from Patreon to bring you coverage of the first episode of Wolf Hall! They struggle to remember lines from Labyrinth, the name of England, the plot of Barry Lyndon, and the Merlin of America. Kelly chooses Rafe, Tom wins a Booker Prize, and everybody hopes you forget that we were supposed to be covering Call The Midwife instead. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-07-0400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastColin Firth Plus Water Equals Profit!Kelly & Tom finally take the plunge into their long-awaited Patreon sponsored coverage of Pride & Prejudice! They agree that Jane looks like a giraffe, speculate about Caroline Bingley's fake geek girl activity, declare Mr. Collins a social disease, criticize CBS, and learn some very weird stuff about rat urine. Kelly's going back to therapy, Tom is like Mr. Darcy, and everyone explains the premium-cable hierarchy of social events in Regency England. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-05-0800 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastRed All Over TeaserSpecial preview! Fake news, oppressive patriarchy, and an overall impending sense of doom: Join “Aunt” Kelly Anneken and Molly “Ofmitchell” Sanchez as we discuss this and more in Red All Over, a podcast based on The Handmaid’s Tale and weirdly not on current events. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-04-1000 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Corgi Ennoblement Act of 1763Kelly & Tom are on their own for their recap of The Crown S1E10, having been stood up by not one but two separate gingers. They discuss their forthcoming Mailbag Fun Dustup, the newest Patreon goal, the Cave of Wonders tiger with the pierced ear in Aladdin, the cure for Ryan Murphy, TLM’s need to constantly butt in, their preference for Martin Charteris over Michael Adeane, diabolical sex beasts, and whether or not Tom looks like Porchey. Kelly says old people shouldn’t vote, Tom is the dictator of Schneiderstan, and everyone would love to have Verne Troy...2017-03-1300 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Adventures of Time-Traveling Temple GrandinKelly & Tom recap S1E9 of The Crown, which is Kelly’s favorite episode! They encourage people to give up on their dreams, feel bad for Toby Jones, talk about rickety horse ankles and horse therapy, identify the partying-est king ever, create about three different spinoff series, get annoyed by gay Lefou, and have fish and chips because it’s Lent. Kelly is glad Phillip Seymour Hoffman is dead, Tom doesn’t know anything about Godot, and everyone’s research is woefully incompetent. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-03-0600 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastBring Back Mamie BangsKelly & Tom are joined by Kelly’s internet love, illustrator & cartoonist Levi Hastings, for their recap of The Crown S1E8. The hosts are really coming around on the show, and they appreciate the character development of the Queen Mum, wish that everyone could impulse buy a castle when they are sad, take the controversial position that patriarchy is no fun, love the comedy stylings of Princess Margaret, get excited about Liz’s gay fashion designer, and suffer from Nazi fatigue. Kelly finally gets around to doing a Fashion Backwards, Tom thinks Justin Trudeau is too good for him...2017-02-2700 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastHRH SpocktopusKelly & Tom welcome back guest Allison Mick for their recap of The Crown S1E7. They patronize 1-800-AMERICA, clash in the eternal pugs v. Corgis matchup, say lots of things like they’re from Boston, wish Winston Churchill was dead (on the show), rate Pringles mustaches, try to make raven-poking seem family friendly, compare Heath Ledger to Pootie Tang, and pitch a Liz/Tweedy Hogg spinoff. Kelly still doesn’t have her shit together, Tom says the Chicago Tribune drools, and Allison thinks forest bathing solves everything. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-02-2000 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastAll The Harpies Were In A Kick LineKelly & Tom are back on their own with this recap of The Crown S1E6. They like the episode, but cannot help asking “Why is show?” Scooby-Doo ghostwrites part of UYDS, Princess Margaret has 99 problems, a piece of fluff outweighs Joseph Stalin, the horrifying origins of the Rhodes scholarship is revealed, Wallis Simpson continues to have few lines, white supremacists are alienated, and Prince Philip doesn’t realize he’s beaten the game. Kelly doesn’t get much out of The Anarchist’s Cookbook, Tom explains what stress is, and everyone agrees Season 5 of The Wire isn’t worth watching.2017-02-1300 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastKing Fred DurstKelly & Tom are joined by The History Chicks co-host Beckett Graham for their recap of The Crown S1E5. They wax frustrated about their feelings on the DO Dubs, replace King Lane Pryce’s face with Colin Firth’s, note Liz’s lifelong taste in cardigans, discuss the relative tackiness of crowns fictional and factual, participate in some pantomimery, bristle at Mountbatten’s period appropriate homophobia,and wonder if Peter Morgan is playing a deeper game. Kelly has difficulty pronouncing everything, Tom devises a nickname for fans of The Royal We, and Beckett is absolutely here for all thin...2017-02-0600 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastSome Of Plenty Of Things Is GoodFor their recap of The Crown, S1E4, Tom and Kelly welcome Failure to Launch co-host and noted critic of The Crown Molly Sanchez! Together, they cough-shame London, pitch an adaptation of Devil in the White City, discuss Sky Law, wonder about the Buffalo Bill of sheep, agree that humanity sucks apart from inventing Hot Cheetos with Lime and strawberry sour belts, spot a cameo from Jimmy Carter, and call the wind Donora. Kelly has a rare butt deficiency, Tom reminds us that women can be writers, and Molly’s tweets don’t get the respect they deserve. See...2017-01-3000 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastDouble RizzoA very hungry Kelly & Tom welcome back guest Natasha Muse for their recap of The Crown S1E3, and they spend a lot of time complaining about how their pizza didn’t get delivered. They also come up with a hit pop single, describe the Kato Kaelin of England, go to the BroB/Gyn, CGI a mustache, break the fourth wall a bunch of times, try to get to the bottom of Prince Albert in a can, discuss the transitive axiom in RE Winston Churchill, and enjoy some secondhand Malkovich. Kelly stops trying to turn the podcast into therapy, To...2017-01-2300 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe King’s Sassy Address To ParliamentIn their recap of The Crown S1E2, Kelly & Tom cover all three dimensions. They discuss the water of sexual harassment, Britain’s difficulty with filming its colonial history, interchangeable feet, gypsy curses, and a genuinely heartbreaking moment. Kelly nearly does a spit take, Tom writes a new Cole Porter song, and everyone agrees that Victoria is a dumb name. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2017-01-1600 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastTake a Hit, Sugar CookieKelly & Tom welcome Red Scott of Boars, Gore & Swords for their first recap of the Netflix Original The Crown. They are relieved to report it is an actual show (unlike late period Selfridge) and delighted as they witness the toff version of a company offsite, explain what Gogglebox is, rate the many portrayals of Churchill, and take advantage of numerous opportunities to impersonate Kif from Futurama. All this, plus the return of Fashion Backwards and Tom Repeats History as Kelly extols the virtues of “Fum Fum Fum,” Tom points out that vaping wasn’t an option in the 19...2017-01-1000 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Palm Court: The GodsomethingKelly & Tom dip into their bottomless well of floozy jokes for their recap of the final episode of Mr. Selfridge. They speculate on the George Towler/baby intelligence continuum, wish Lady Mae would join a sort of Parisian First Wives’ Club, chat about Trading Spaces, continue whining about the absence of Beatrice, declare Mr. Selfridge the Jimmy Fallon of retail magnates, don’t recognize Meryl, and come up with a Selfridge Babies spin-off. Kelly loves casseroles, Tom wishes the IRA still did fun stuff, and everyone laments the dear, departed tea emporium. See acast.com/privacy for priv...2016-12-2600 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Palm Court: Seven Brides For Seven SelfridgesKelly and Tom soldier bravely on through their recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E9. They are pretty sure time is still a flat circle, George Towler is still a super genius, Alan Greenspan gets name-checked, Mr. Grove is cross from beyond the grave, and Eyebrows has a brand-new bag. Kelly can’t remember the name of the book Mr. Selfridge is based on, Tom discovers Circopedia.com, and everyone continues to make fun of Jeremy Piven’s mercury poisoning. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-12-1900 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Palm Court: One Department, One Man!In this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E8, Kelly and Tom really lay into Eyeliner for pretending to solve racism. They finally bid Mr. Grove a not particularly fond farewell, wonder why New New Gordon’s kids are wearing dresses, applaud Mr. Crabb’s business reasons, and continue to marvel at Jimmy Dillon’s swank apartment from the 1980s. Kelly correctly identifies morphine, Tom explains how to win a Newbery medal, and everyone gathers for drinks at the Nepotists’ Lounge. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-12-1200 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Palm Court: Queen Blanket-For-A-FaceKelly & Tom shout a list of the most British things they know in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E7. They also shout NO at Lady Mae and Kitty a bunch of times, encourage Mr. Selfridge to finally hire a lawyer, talk smack about Spinner from Degrassi, and briefly experience actual feelings. Kelly invents Floozies Anonymous, Tom makes a reservation for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and everyone wonders how this series can keep getting worse. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-12-0500 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Palm Court: Goons Are People TooKelly & Tom shout a collective “WTF” in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E6. They marvel at the Picture of Dorian’s Uncle, wonder how much actual time has passed this season, question Fraser’s fitness as butler, gloat as Mr. Selfridge finally has to pay his bill, and nominate a much better head of security than George Towler. Kelly lets loose her opinions on Gilmore Girls, Tom explains how Europe works, and the drop waist continues its tyranny. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-11-2800 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Palm Court: Stop Confusing Our Baby!Kelly & Tom record their recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E5 live from a Burger King! Not really, but what an idea! They continue to not do their research as Bumby Wallace makes his stunning, fictional debut, Harry continues to not pay his bills, the shambling corpse of Grardle lurches on, Meryl continues to not be able to act in either a literal or meta sense, there is a severe lack of Tillie AND Beatrice, and George Towler: Medical Experiment continues unabated. Kelly name-checks Tuck Everlasting, Tom compliments a damn fine egg, and everyone agrees there must always be a...2016-11-2100 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Palm Court: First Rule of RumpelstiltskinKelly & Tom choose to be…a Ritz in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E4. They confirm that they are not watching Game of Thrones, have numerous criticisms of AA Milne and Christopher Robin, criticize Mustache’s life choices, wish for a Mardle/Kitty spin-off, and talk even more smack about floozies. Kelly reveals her favorite phone number, Tom reveals that Bob is his uncle, and everyone looks forward to the publication of “Crabbe makes a call.” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-11-1300 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: We Call It “Death Spin”Kelly & Tom thoroughly enjoy recapping S3E4 of Peaky Blinders (the Entourage or Walking Dead of the UK, depending on who you’re talking to), one of the show’s best hours. They discuss the highly upsetting 1953 film Lili, the Shelby women finally getting their cool af day in the sun, Kelly’s awareness of Latin, Tom’s remembrance of a Dunkin’ Donuts campaign, and mashing up Peaky Blinders with It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-06-2700 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: Kafka’s Children’s BookKelly and Tom finally return to their podcasting ways with this recap of Peaky Blinders S3E1! They continue to say GRAAAAAAAACE despite no longer having much of a reason to, have a surprising discussion of Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, try to decide where aristocrats go, wonder why Arthur is suddenly the voice of reason, lust after Tommy Shelby 2.0, and fail to remember Jeremiah’s son’s name. Kelly hollers at the harmful one, Tom makes a really excellent pun, and everyone demands a box of wine. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-06-0600 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFor Further Information, See The Name Of Our PodcastAnd so Downton Abbey ends, not with a bang, but with a Denker. Kelly & Tom recap S6E9 in slightly more emotional fashion than usual, but they still manage to pitch the spinoff “McG: Hospital Administrator,” wonder why Matthew Goode didn’t just take a job as Downton’s butler, hope that the eventual Downton movie is called “In the Boot Room,” promise to invite a unicorn on the podcast, visit OldPeopleBone.com, come up with a better name for Rose’s baby, and talk smack about period maternity clothes. Kelly guesses we’re all crash widows now, Tom provides insight...2016-03-1400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Uncanny Valley Of HappinessIn Part One of their two-part recap of the Downton Abbey finale, Kelly and Tom fight off tears as they come to the end of a long, strange journey. They give Highclere Castle what-for, reveal Andy’s secret fashion design career, discuss the origins of Molesley’s baldness, long for the return of the Donk, praise Cruikshank’s villainy, suggest a Dr. Seuss book about Thomas Barrow, unveil the true meaning of “puttin’ on the Ritz,” and discover who the real crash widow of the episode is. Kelly explores the history of nail polish, Tom is a Benicio del Whoro, and everyone...2016-03-0700 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Golly Gumdrops Hour With Kelly And TomKelly and Tom celebrate the penultimate episode of Downton Abbey with an extra-long discussion of S6E8. They pine for an Edith: Pig in the City spinoff, shoutout Branson’s monkey nephew, lament the lost potential of Charles Blake, reveal a surprise Gibson Girl winner, decide that Mary’s bitchery is the real turn-up, wonder about Hitler hipsters, debate the best way to Cruikshank, promise to watch Room 237 again, deride Thomas’ gay bathtub of despair, and remember the foxes of yesteryear. Kelly tries to explain the origins of commercial air travel, Tom requires zero notes or research to cover the Englis...2016-02-2400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastTo Pee On All My Priceless PossessionsKelly & Tom recap Downton Abbey S6E7 with as much panache and flair as the Dowager Countess delivering an epic takedown. They try to comfort Spratt with promises of a denk-free existence, rename Edith’s magazine, miss Charles Blake, lose their minds over a puppy, recall the episode of Step By Step where JT has dyslexia, and speculate about crying dresses. Kelly explains how smoking changed (after the war), Tom revisits old-timey car races, and everyone is thrilled to hear Matthew Goode say “pop.” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-02-1500 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastI’m The Oracle Now!Kelly & Tom are very happy to report that they loved Downton Abbey S6E6, as is made clear in their recap. They reminisce about a time when helicopter parenting hadn’t been invented, wonder how Mary would find a new corpse girl, poke a lot of holes in the hospital storyline, shake their heads at Andy, defend McG’s cat pillows, bring up the Olive Garden, and promise more sparkling impressions in the future. Kelly throws some shade at Baron Fellowes’ take on the plight of great houses, Tom finds a new muse in Lady Emma Hamilton, and everyone lament...2016-02-0800 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastConsumer Reports Can Suck it!Kelly & Tom recap Downton Abbey S6E5 (but don’t forget to taste the Instant Take) and wonder why a servant is like a comma, decide that Tom should be Spratt for Halloween, make a Cockerton judgement, marvel at Andy’s acceptance of homosexuality, lament the lack of Whore Institute t-shirts, and plan to cut a baby in half. Kelly delves into the weird world of Pyrex cookware, Tom talks Tangiers, and everyone is excited about a possible new project for Jim Parsons. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2016-02-0100 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThey Paved Pig Farm, And Put Up a Parking LotIn their recap of Downton Abbey S6E4, Kelly & Tom may have had a bit too much coffee as they declare these to be the show’s “Holly J years.” They also contemplate the implementation of ovesters, wonder why Downton is suddenly filled with sexual innuendo, speculate about port-related injuries, explain Satan’s only weakness, remind everyone to never shake a Baxter, and reiterate that surprises ruin relationships. Kelly does a terrible job of pronouncing “Diaghilev,” Tom offers background on the history of British women’s colleges, and everyone gets shockingly verklempt about Lady Sybil. AGAIN. See acast.com/priv...2016-01-2500 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastRuth Buzzi Better Watch Her BackIn their recap of Downton Abbey S6E3, Kelly & Tom discuss the cost of a sucking pig, forget that The Secret Garden is a musical, revel in another Isobel/Dowager fight, wonder why the twins from The Shining are at the Hugheson wedding, meet Tubby McFlopsweat & Rarebit, and wonder if Baron Julian is just flushing out a Google Doc of unused Dowager Quipz. Kelly covers the original hipsters–stamp collectors, Tom outlines the war of the Austrian succession, and everyone wonders what the opposite of narrative economy is. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and op...2016-01-1800 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastA Spring In My CervixKelly & Tom are as lost as a Gutenberg Bible in their recap of Downton Abbey S6E2. They talk a lot about pigs and other fat stock, wish the Dowager wore more codpieces, revisit their favorite Ripon jokes, pour one out for poor Mr. Pamuk, imagine a meeting between Baron Fellowes and George RR Martin, and explain where horseradish comes from. Kelly claims that Edith’s repeated baby-stealing was completely legal, Tom covers the shockingly recent medical advancements the Dowager doesn’t want at the village hospital, and everyone agrees that being a child actor on Downton is the seco...2016-01-1100 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThirsk Is For LoversKelly & Tom practically fall off a horse in excitement as they embark on their recaps of Downton Abbey‘s final series. In S6E1, they discover a new position downstairs, meet the Darnleys, wonder if LG is jealous that he didn’t get to go to Liverpool with Gilly, roll their eyes at Denker’s denkishness, celebrate the apparent end of Murder Prison, and they both decide to just give up and get on board the Carson/Hughes ship. Kelly talks smack about the Bloomsbury Set, Tom reveals a very weird Nazi cure for syphilis, and everyone agrees that “mending...2016-01-0400 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastBomb Squad GoalsKelly & Tom are joined by returning guest and loyal Cousin Lauren Parker to join in eviscerating the cinematic snooze button that is Suffragette. Apart from the fact that there are zero characters of color and the protagonist is a “composite character,” there’s plenty to chuckle about, including the story of how Brendan Gleeson’s beard got cast, Cher’s long-lost bagel boy, the unexpected awesomeness of Helena Bonham Character and her husband, a new name for Carey Mulligan, the many failures of mannequin technology, and whether British people are allowed to be named Sonny. Kelly is getting extremely proficient...2015-11-1600 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastI Thought This Was MeatKelly & Tom do their best to transform the mumblecore snoozefest that is 2008’s Brideshead Revisited into a Warner Brothers cartoon. They declare that Ben Whishaw is #NotMySebastian, name-check Bertolt Brecht, make fun of Haley Atwell’s atrocious wardrobe, advocate for more pop culture dong, and declare unusual characters to be their favorites. Kelly has gay puns for days, Tom insists that nobody hates Champagne, and everyone agrees that Italy is England’s Burning Man. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2015-11-0200 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThis Is Where The Luncheon BeganKelly & Tom thoroughly enjoyed Milos Forman’s 1981 epic Ragtime, so much so that Kelly barely gets any songs from the musical in. They are overwhelmed by many cute babies and cameos from everyone who’s ever been in anything, ever, but still manage to be quite moved by the plot, shocked by McG in her earliest form, amused at EL Doctorow’s inability to name characters, and admire various facial hairs. Kelly recommends the books of Ann Rinaldi, Tom derails things at the very end, and everyone wonders about the Emma Goldman scene that might have been. See ac...2015-10-1900 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThere’s Not Even Any Hippie PieKelly & Tom close the loop with their recap of Upstairs, Downstairs S1E3. They’re feeling retroactively charitable toward the show due to Claire Foy’s performance in “Wolf Hall,” nobody cares about Christian names, Michigan J. Frog’s German cousin is unmasked, and Persie hasn’t even begun to monster. Kelly points out that people haven’t really figured out childbirth, Tom doesn’t recall the chicken wings, and everyone wonders when this show turned into a 1930s screwball comedy. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2015-10-0500 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: The Reddit Right HandKelly & Tom wrap up their Bham journey in this recap of Peaky Blinders S2E6. They are excited to report that Rando finally pays off, ponces gonna ponce, Solomons is back in Cillian’s good graces, fake Irish identities continue to come in handy, Jeremiah makes an all-too-brief appearance, they finally figure out the origin of Cillian’s favorite poem, Lizzie is a very professional prostitute, and Grace is no match for the Attractive Bitch. Kelly has a new favorite phrase, Tom corrects some timeline errors, and everyone hopes Sam Neill stays dead this time. We’ll be back with h...2015-09-0700 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: Our Lady Of Perpetual Office HoursKelly & Tom recap the penultimate episode of Peaky Blinders S2E5 and share some bonus listener feedback! They also make a bunch of apologies, point out one of Mrs. Whore’s sandwiches, continue to fret that Ada has sold Comrade Baby, realize that Esme is a way better strategist than Arthur ever was, reflect on Solomons’ attitude toward Judaism, get excited about goldfish, affirm that upper-crust aristocrats are not as ruthless as criminals, and lament the return of GRAAAAAACE. Kelly explains the prayer habits of 18-year-olds, Tom suggests a side project for Chris Martin, and they both outline how prog...2015-08-3100 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: A Mop With A DreamKelly & Tom are back all by their lonesome with their recap of Peaky Blinders S2E4. The show really kicks into high gear with this one, featuring Cillian’s only truly unsettled look of the series, London’s hottest genderqueer nightclub, Esme’s questionable style choices, the Attractive Bitch’s Downton-dwarfing estate, a job listing for a smug jerk, Ada’s mysterious sources of income, and the the return of GRACE (but not her singing). Kelly plays F/M/K with the Shelby Brothers, Tom explains why his Google search turned up 11 year old girls, and everyone wonders what happened t...2015-08-2400 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: r/CanesFor their recap of Peaky Blinders S2E3, Kelly & Tom welcome Princess of Bay Area Comedy and self-hating Irishwoman Allison Mick! They talk about every show imaginable that isn’t Peaky Blinders, declare a strong preference for Solomons’ “people management” skills, make fun of Grace’s senior photo, agree with Charlie that honest work sucks, and wish that they had a Curly in their lives. Kelly wonders how the show would change if Polly’s daughter Anna had survived, Tom blames Tom Mix for another senseless killing, and Allison tries to establish herself as a Los Angeles slumlord. See acas...2015-08-1700 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: The Very Last Person Ever To Join Columbia HouseKelly & Tom are joined by Los Angeles comedian Rye Silverman for their recap of Peaky Blinders S2E2 and things get rowdy! The trio debates what constitutes a stigmata, the usefulness of horse medicine, Ada’s commitment to the tenets of socialist thought, the fact that church bells don’t have a snooze alarm, and whether Esme’s betrayal means they can’t like her any more. This episode is also blissfully free of any of Grace’s singing. Kelly gets very twitterpated about Cillian and Tom Hardy in the same room,Tom refuses to entertain any exploding babies, and Rye ha...2015-08-1000 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: The Boy Who Couldn’t Stop Getting OlderKelly and Tom are BACK with a brand-new recap of Peaky Blinders S2E1. Refreshed and ready to ally themselves with Tom Hardy, they are thrilled to see Cillian cosplaying as Scarecrow/Dr. Jonathan Crane, Ada back in top bitchy form, post-war spiritualism at its shadiest, the replacement of Not Churchill with someone who actually resembles Churchill, the awesomeness of Esme, and the blessed lack of any singing from Grace. Kelly doesn’t like this tooth-pulling scene as much as the one on The Americans, Tom has a lot of opinions on Steve!Knight’s CD collection, and they both cont...2015-08-0300 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: The Clang’s the Best PartOpen that bottle of champagne as Kelly & Tom wrap up their coverage of Peaky Blinders S1 with this recap of E6. They invent the term “laundrobrothel,”roll their eyes at Comrade Baby’s actual name, unexpectedly warm to Moss, applaud Mumper and Esme’s general approach to life, enjoy what is possibly the show’s very best scene, hope God gives everyone a moral exception like he does to Jeremiah, pitch a Nick Cave podcast, and make fun of Grace’s singing one last time. Kelly starts “the final countdown,” Tom tries to figure out how to deal with a cliffhanger, a...2015-07-1300 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: Good Call, Pathological LiarsIn their recap of Peaky Blinders S1E5, Kelly & Tom can hardly believe they’re already covering the penultimate episode of series one. They worry about Comrade Baby’s welfare, feel absolutely gutted by Arthur, accidentally call Cillian by his character name, speculate whether Sam Neill and Scarface have ever been seen in the same place at the same time, wonder when Finn started drinking, and get back to the most important work of all: making fun of Grace’s terrible singing. Kelly antagonizes Jake Lloyd for no reason, Tom can’t adequately parse the word tinker, and everyone apologiz...2015-07-0600 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: The Scudboats Are ComingKelly and Tom find themselves alone again (naturally) for their recap of Peaky Blinders S1E4, which sees Steve!Knight get a new CD, the semi-return of Sam Neill, a fish with a terrible hat, Cillian’s ill-advised hiring criteria, one of the shows most emotional scenes, plus here a Lee, there a Lee, everywhere a Lee-a-Lee. Kelly wonders how hard it would be to quit sex work, Tom proposes a memoir title, and regrettably, everyone forgets to make fun of Grace’s singing. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2015-06-2900 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: The Third Glass Is The Singing GlassKelly and Tom are joined by fellow podcaster Lauren Parker for their recap of Peaky Blinders S1E3. They chat about Fire Street, whine about the relative lack of Sam Neill, wonder if Ada has matured at all since the age of 9, debate whether Freddie Thorne or Arthur Shelby wears their terrible haircut better, clarify the difference between Scotch and Irish whiskey, take Cillian Murphy very seriously, and make fun of Grace’s singing even though Grace doesn’t sing at all in this episode. Kelly demands Charles Bronson, Tom incorrectly describes Birmingham’s location, and Lauren wants everyone to focus...2015-06-2200 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: How Can You Have Any Pudding If You Don’t Eat Your Chalk?Kelly and Tom are joined this week by the very manly Lee Keeler to recap Peaky Blinders S1E2, and that means three dueling impressions of Sam Neill’s insane accent! They pay homage to the Hops Council, explain the plot of Spartacus, try to decipher the meaning of “Diddicoy,” suggest that Aunt Pol start her own ob/gyn,theorize about the Lee clan’s first names, and continue to make fun of Grace’s singing. Kelly hopes to find Hemingway’s secret diary, Tom makes fun of Steve Knight!’s CD collection, and Lee channels Saving Private Ryan to fill in detail...2015-06-1500 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFamily Meeting: The Zoidberg Of The ShelbysIn the premiere episode of their Peaky Blinders podcast, Kelly & Tom cover S1E1 in stripped down, very manly fashion. They are pleased to report that there is more diversity in a single episode of Peaky Blinders than in an entire five seasons of Downton Abbey, plus Cillian Murphy. They also have more to say about horses than usual, make fun of Grace’s singing and Sam Neill’s everything, express their disappointment in the show’s lone communist, get turnt up for the Sorrowful Mysteries, and point out that Winston Churchill really doesn’t look like himself. Kelly gets amp...2015-06-0800 min
Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThe Palm Court: The Probate Porch, Starring Tom Schneider And Art CarneyKelly and Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E4 and marvel at Violettes’ theatricality, debate the merits of mutton, decide who the Heisenberg of Selfridges’ is, talk a lot about The Honeymooners, wonder if the Homely Architect is a Hufflepuff, and applaud the shockingly effective sexiness of Fat Thomas. Tom discovers that politics are hard, Kelly thinks Mardle and Grove are totally going to bang, and everyone agrees that ours is not to reason Whyliner. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.2015-04-2000 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastFeral Children! Unschooling!In their recap of 1993’s The Secret Garden, Kelly & Tom are thrilled to find that it’s a darn good movie, possibly thanks to executive producer Francis Ford Coppola, who is also Kelly’s close personal friend. The film itself features Maggie Smith earning all 5 Maggie Smiths as Mrs. Medlock, Kate Maberly as the kid lit version of Scarlett O’Hara, the worst ghost ever, a new spin on The Odd Couple, Martha shopping at The Paradise, Claude the surprisingly violent pony, haircuts at the Gap, the dangers of swinging while pregnant, the world’s oldest youngest man, Dicko...2014-09-2300 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastLook At All Those Eggs!Rejoice, Cousins new and old! It’s time to recap Downton Abbey S4E1 with Kelly & Tom and reveal a new UYDS! theme song. This ukulele/guitar arrangement is by Cousin Matthew Lister and he is accompanied by Cousin Nick Lanzer. Otherwise, Kelly & Tom are beyond excited to meet the new Breakfast Club, say farewell to O’Brien’s bangs, malign the Skank Braithwaites, learn about St. Valentine’s Day and workhouses, think about werewolf employment opportunities, go nuts over adorable babies, and celebrate the triumphant return of our girl Mags. Kelly finally pronounces Siobhan correctly, Tom wants some sarsaparilla...2014-01-0600 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastLook For It On the Internet in 1998Kelly and Tom take special guest Sam Roth on a weekend trip to get all up in the loins of Gosford Park, where they encounter a surprising amount of factory rape, a mesmerizing performance from one of the lesser Dames, and Ryan Phillipe’s coffee-scented penis. Kelly perfects her impression of Kelly McDonald while Tom and Sam wear pajamas and braid each other’s mustaches. The gang also discuss the proper way to eat jam in a tuxedo, the always-giffable Maggie Smith, and invent a new line of Up Yours, Downstairs! branded merchandise. See acast.com/privacy for privac...2012-05-2800 minUp Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey PodcastThis is Edwardian England, You DumbnutKelly and Tom take a ride on the Good Ship Maggie Smith as they recap Downton Abbey S1:E4. On their journey, they discuss various ways Mary Crawley might kill herself, make inevitable Clue jokes, come down with a case of Thomas fever, investigate the ancestries of Kelly Clarkson and Morrisey, and find out how hard people who are not Sybil fought for the vote. Tom reveals that he is a fan of Daisy’s hat while Kelly sits in the hall. They make an important announcement that affects ALL of the Tenants, and then they Make Way for Branson!2012-02-0600 min