Shows
No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse157|The Verdict in the Trial of the Sumner Basketball CoachThe coach was found guilty of all 19 charges of sex crimes in Sumner Washington!We have been following this trial for the last couple of years and we are thrilled that the perpetrator has been found guilty on all counts of the sex crimes!We first reported on this crime back in episode 87 in December of 2023 when we did a panel about sex abuse in sports with our guest Charnell Bolger, Kevins wife, who as a former athlete and coach and daughter of a coach, is very passionate about this subject.Her research...2025-03-1039 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse156|Kevin Shares his Story at his ChurchFor this week we are doing something different.Charnell was able to find the original recording of when Kevin gave his testimony of being a survivor of abuse in Church.Since this is where it all started for this podcast we decided to publish it to share how it all began.This is in a way the origin story of this podcast .No Longer AshamedNo Longer Ashamed FBbolgerkevin15@gmail.com2025-03-0319 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse150|Should I say Something?For this episode we are excited to have Kevin's wife Charnell on for her experience working with children in the classroom and as a coach.What is our role if we see something and wonder if we should report it?We all would like to believe that abuse happens to someone else, not to anyone that we know.That it happens in those other places, not here in our nice neighborhood or school or church.But abuse does not discriminate- it happens everywhere1 in 4 girls are sexually abused by...2025-01-2153 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse141|What is Important to HealWe have talked about the importance of healing from abuse and why healing matters not only for us the survivors of abuse, but to our relationships.But we haven't really talked about what it means to be healed.How do we define healing and being healed?After reading about Internal Family Systems (IFS) Kevin recognized that this is a subject that we haven't gone into detail about and how meaningful a subject it is.So in this episode we discuss What is important to Heal and what does healing mean for...2024-11-0421 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse138|87 Youth Sports Sexual Abuse, Misconduct and Safety with CharnellSince this is the time of year when there is so much youth sports happening we decided to re broadcast our episode about abuse and misconduct in youth sports.In this episode we interview Kevin's wife Charnell about the research that she has been doing about the issues of sexual abuse in youth sports.Her research has led her to the Dordulian Law Group who specialize in sex abuse and other offenses and to "SafeSport" which is an "independent nonprofit committed to building a sport community where participants can work and learn together free of...2024-10-141h 01No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse124|Our Challenge to youIn episode 121 Laurie challenged Kevin to do an experiment
Kevin accepted the challenge and was excited to see the results
Because this challenge turned out to be so exciting for Kevin we decided to send this challenge out to you, our listeners
So in this episode we are talking about what the challenge was and explaining why it is such a helpful exercise for you as a survivor of abuse to do
We hope that you too will find this challenge exciting and helpful and we can't wait to hear your...2024-06-0330 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse123|(50)Women Weigh in on Shame and being a survivorWe revisit this important panel discussion on shame, both healthy shame and toxic shame.With our former guests Tracy Stephanie and Ashleigh and Kevin's wife Charnell. We discuss how shame affects our lives as survivors of abuse and how there can be healthy shame and toxic shame.No Longer AshamedNo Longer Ashamed FBbolgerkevin15@gmail.com2024-05-271h 07No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse93| As a Survivor, How to Cope when your Past Pops up!Laurie talks about hearing news about a relative who has passed.
But even though the connection comes after 30 years with no contact will it change anything?
Open new doors?
We think that many of you have had to face people who have made a conscious choice to "not believe" you.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.comu, how do you cope?2023-10-2332 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse88| After Sharing His Story of Childhood Sexual Abuse Luke is on a Mission to Help OthersIt's been over two years since Luke reached out to us after listening to our podcast and we interviewed him.
Since that interview Luke has been interviewed on other podcasts and done some panels with us and has become an advocate for other survivors all while learning to recover from what happened to him.
We are so excited to catch up with him and talk about his journey of healing.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2023-09-1842 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse87| Youth Sports Sexual Abuse, Misconduct and Safety with CharnellIn this episode we interview Kevin's wife Charnell about the research that she has been doing about the issues of sexual abuse in youth sports.
She has found that it is much more common than is reported beyond the widely publicized accounts that have happened in higher profile cases that have come up.
Her research has lead her to find the Dordulian Law Group who specialize in sex abuse and other offenses and "SafeSport" which is an "independent nonprofit committed to building a sport community where participants can work and learn together free of emotional...2023-09-111h 01No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse86|(11) TriggersThis is our new and improved version of episode 11
Do we recognize our own triggers?
How do we know when we are being triggered and how do we deal with them?
You are not alone.
There is help!
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2023-09-0441 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse85|Overcoming Childhood Sexual Abuse, Domestic Violence and Becoming A Warrior and InfluencerCeanne Livingston is a survivor, mother, businesswoman and a podcaster\
She has done some incredible work to overcome not only childhood sexual abuse but domestic violence as well.
She is a warrior! She is the host of "The Big Money Influencer" podcast.
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2023-08-2838 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse84|(9) The Price and Fallout of SecretsThis is the new and improved version of episode 9!
There can be fallout when we break the silence, make sure you have support.
What's the fallout like and how do you address it?
It's so important to break the silence but not always easy because of fallout.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2023-08-2240 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse83| Three Years of Interviewing Men and Women with Childhood Sexual TraumaHere we are after three years, 72 episodes, over thirty interviews and several panels, what have we learned.
There has been so much that is important and we have seen so many breakthroughs, it's been amazing!
The courage we have seen from our guests and the insights that they have shared with us has given us so much hope.
We have witnessed so many stories that start with heartbreak and trauma and loss, and lead to triumph and healing.
In this episode we share the wisdom that we have learned from the...2023-08-1449 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse82| A Womans Journey out of Sex and Porn AddictionLisa Shelby knows firsthand what it means to keep a secret while trying to live a life of integrity
Keeping secrets is not the answer!
Finding a safe place to share and heal opens the door to a life of freedom and joy!
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com\2023-08-0753 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse81|(8) We are as Sick as our SecretsWe are fixing the sound quality on our earlier episodes to make them playback on all devices better.
Why we keep it a secret!
It's time to break the silence. Family
secrets protect the innocent. There may be more victims and you can
break the cycle and stop the abuse.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
2023-07-3135 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse80|Sextrafficking, Relapse, Repeat, How Sandra Sunshine Horne is Finding HealingSandra is a Chaplain with Messengers of Faith Ministry in Las Vegas and she also works with True ID and Refuge for Women there helping women that are in the sex trade and are being trafficked to find a safe place to get refuge\
She experienced trauma at an early age by those in her life who she trusted and relied on which led to a spiral of addiction and abuse which she is healing with the help of God and those in her life who did not give up on her
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2023-07-2458 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual AbuseEpisode 8 Secrecy revisedWe are bringing back some of past episodes to improve the audio
In this episode we are talking about secrecy and how to overcome it
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Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kevin-bolger4/support2023-07-1709 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse79|Rays of Hope: Overcoming Abuse, Suicide and Low Self EsteemAfter being abandoned at the age of 14 and left her own devices to live
in her car, or stay overnight with friends, Peggy Ray still found a way
to get through high school. Her bio on her Facebook page says she went from a cheerleader to a change leader.
Peggy and her husband have an organization called raise of hope, they teach about suicide prevention
and they have trauma training. Peggy story will give you a ray of hope.
. http://www.raysofhopellc.org/
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2023-07-1047 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse78|(7) The Lost ChildAgain we are revisiting and re-editing some of our earlier episodes to improve the sound quality and make them easier to listen to on all devices.
Who is that kid you left behind?
How do you connect to him so he feel found and protected?
Getting in touch with that child can help you navigate your recovery once he/she feels safe.
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
2023-07-0335 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse77| Between the Covers: What it Means to Become the Hero of our Own StoriesMarcus is a recovery coach and podcaster!
In this conversation with Marcus we cover some important issues about abuse and trauma.
As a recovery coach Marcus works with clients to help them get free of addiction to pornography and other undesirable sexual behaviors.
For anyone having these issues there is help and you do not have to face this alone.
Between the Covers Coaching
Between the Covers Podcast
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2023-06-2646 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse76| Introduction to No Longer AshamedWe are continuing to re edit our early episodes to make them easier to listen to
Letting Survivors know they are not alone, the journey to recovery is worth taking.
You are worth it! You deserve to get the help you need, it is available and waiting for you to take it.
It begins when you tell your story.
We get what it is like to be stuck in the quicksand of isolation. We have
found hope and we are reaching out.
to give you a hand up, which...2023-06-1925 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse75|Awe and WonderSometimes we get so busy it can be easy to overlook the moments that bring us awe and wonder
We just speed right past them without noticing.
But when we slow down and take the time to relish the moment that sense of awe can fill us up and give us something to hold on to when we need that.
It can bring our sense of innocence back to have wonder in our lives.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2023-06-1938 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse74| Abuse is Repulsive not the AbusedSuch a fun topic, repulsion and revulsion.
It's the instinctive reaction we all have to some stuff, like rats or spiders, and the way that we think about certain things.
Like sexual abuse.
We can't help it, it's a repulsive topic but as survivors sometimes we must talk about it.
But it is the act that is repulsive and the perpetrator that is revolting, not the survivor.
That is important to remember, what happened to us was repulsive but that doesn't mean that we are.
No Longer As...2023-06-1239 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse73|(6) Restoration is a Process, but so Worth itWe are continuing to re edit some of our early episodes to make them easier to listen to.
Restoration is so important when you are going through the process of recovering from abuse.
What do you do to restore yourself in a healthy positive way.
Why is it so important to have a time of restoration?
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
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2023-06-0537 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse72| Where is the Outrage?This week in Illinois the states attorney general found that more than 450 Catholic clergy abused nearly 2,000 children since 1950.
Revealing that the problem was far worse than had been reported by the Church.
He also stated that those abusers "will never see justice in a legal sense" since the statute of limitations has expired for most of those cases.
Where is the outrage?
The laws need to be changed for there to be justice and if there is going to be any deterrence for these crimes.
No Longer Ashamed
N...2023-05-2931 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse71(5) Stigma Keeps us StuckWe are continuing to revisit and edit our early episodes to clean up the way that they sound
What are the issues others believe about survivors and how does that affect us?
We worry about what people think and we can be hurt by what people say when they are "ignorant" of what it means to be abused.
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2023-05-2234 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse70|Toy Cars" One Man's Journey from Trauma to TriumphNathan Spiteri after he published his memoir "Toy Cars: One man's journey from trauma to triumph"
Since then he has done a Ted Talk of his own and there are more projects related to his Ted talk and his memoir being worked on.
In the spirit of encouraging all of you to check out his impactful Ted talk and memoir we are re posting our interview with him along with links to the Ted talk and the memoir with the hopes that you will be encouraged to join him on this mission to change how...2023-05-151h 02No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse69|(3) Dealing with Shame the Hidden EnemyThis has been one of our most popular episodes and we really feel that it is important
We like it so much that we decided to go back and clean it up and make it sound better.
Why is it so hard to talk about what happened to us?
It is shame: the hidden enemy.
We can be no longer ashamed of who we are
as survivors, it starts with sharing your story and getting help and
support! You are not alone.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15...2023-05-0836 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse68| The Feeling of Loss is Disapearing with Healing from Childhood Sexual AbuseIn this episode Kevin discusses how he has been recognizing that the feeling of loss that used to haunt him is mostly gone.
The loss didn't go away but the pain from the loss no longer paralyzes him.
What took that pain away and what has replaced it is the topic of our episode.
Also the reasons that he used to use his coping methods to further add to the pain in his life and why.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2023-05-0134 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse67|(2)How to Respond When Someone Tells You They Have Been Abused?This is another one of our early episodes that we feel was very important.
This is an important episode for survivors and also the family and friends of survivors to help them understand how they can help someone who is a survivor
What do you say when someone has shared with you their story of being a survivor?
Tips about letting them know that you care about what happens to them.
The best thing we can do is to say I Believe You!
If you don't think you can...2023-04-1751 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse66|Healing From Childhood Sexual Trauma Takes Time and PatienceIn this episode we discuss how important it can be to be patient with the process and with yourself.
There really are no shortcuts.
There are a lot of steps you can take that will help you to get to the place of healing and can help you address your immediate issues.
There are medications you can take if you are struggling with depression or PTSD and other treatments that help with the symptoms that you have.
But in order to address what happened to us and the fallout that it...2023-04-1045 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse65|(1)The Risk of Sharing Your StorySo after doing this for over 2 years we have learned a lot and now we are returning to some of our earlier episodes and re editing them to clean them up.
We feel that these episodes are so important but they could use a little cleaning up to make them sound better.
So here is our first episode again but this time we hope that it sounds better.
The who what and why of sharing your story
Who is it safe to share with
What to expect when you...2023-04-0348 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse64|Journey to Forgiveness: 21 Milestones to Freedom with David PetersonPastor David Peterson grew up with Essential Tremors, a neurological disorder that caused his arms and hands to tremor uncontrollably
Needless to say he was bullied relentlessly, and than at 12 he was targeted by a neighborhood pedophile who abused him
As a young man he was not in a good place, for years he was angry, not just with others but also with God
Then forgiveness transformed him
With his book "Journey to Forgiveness; 21 Milestones to Freedom" his hope is to continue to redeem those traumatic years
and lead...2023-03-2745 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse63|The Comeback Coach: Overcoming Adversity and Abuse and Living VictoriouslyRick Carlson is the founder of Comeback Coaching.
He is also a Pastor, a Husband Material coach and Life coach.
In this episode he shares about the struggles he has had with trauma from even before he was born.
Throughout his life he struggled with being different and feeling unloved.
This lead to drug and alcohol addictions and isolation.
Until God changed his life.
Now he has found his purpose and is helping others to overcome their struggles with addictions.
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No Lon...2023-03-0652 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse62|Sharing Your Trauma Story: Timing and SafetySharing your story is so important for your healing, keeping it a secret can hold you back from getting the help you need.
But is there a right time and a wrong time to share?
It can be inappropriate and distressful to others if you "trauma dump" on them just for attention.
It's not healthy to use your trauma to cause others who are innocent distress.
That is why it is so important to find the safe people to share with and the appropriate time and setting.
You have...2023-02-2733 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse61|Unresloved Trauma and Repressed MemoriesWhat are the dangers of repressed memories?
Unresolved trauma can affect us without our awareness and cause us to act unreasonably.
This can be difficult for our family and relations especially if we don't take the time to understand where our feelings are coming from.
It is possible to address our issues and emotions even if we can't remember everything that happened to us.
As long as we are willing to examine where they are coming from and learn from it.
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No Longer Ashamed FB...2023-02-1443 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse60|Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse Talk about GroomingIn this panel we are discussing grooming with our friends Mike Chapman and Daniel Eichelberger.
Grooming is frequently used by abusers to gain the trust of prospective victim and manipulate them.
It's not always the victim that is being groomed but often the family members or caregivers are groomed in order to gain access to the victim.
This behavior is becoming more common online where strangers could access your children without your knowledge.
It is important to realize that these perpetrators are very skilled in this behavior, they have to be in...2023-01-2845 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse59|How to Identify Someone Being Sex Trafficked with Julie WhiteheadJulie was sex trafficked, she was not kidnapped, she was living in her own apartment and working as a preschool teacher in a nice neighborhood. She shares her story in a module of the ImOnWatch.org training. She shares with us that she was set up for this abuse and violence because of her childhood sexual abuse. Like many she didn't tell anyone. She shares her story in hopes you will share your story and get the help you need. She says there is freedom on the other side of the fear of sharing your story, but it isn't instant heal...2023-01-1548 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse58|Personal Growth and Development for SurvivorsWhy is personal growth so important to survivors?
Many of us were taught to have low self esteem by our perpetrators, blamed for what they did to us.
and told that we could never do anything right that we were the problem.
It is through personal growth that we can prove to ourselves that we can do things well, that we can have a purpose.
It takes small steps but those lead to bigger things that give us the confidence to do more.
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No Longer...2022-12-2342 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse57|The Language we use When we Speak of our AbuseThe Language we use when we describe what happened to us and when we talk about ourselves, is very important.
We can be using language that is destructive to our healing without being aware of it.
That is why it is so important to pay attention to what we are saying to ourselves and to others and learn from that on how we want to change our voice.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2022-12-0633 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse56|These Ashes: Reflections of Hope in the Aftermath of Male Childhood Sexual AbuseDaniel Eichelberger is the author of the blog "These Ashes, Reflections of hope in the aftermath of male childhood sexual abuse"
He tells of his remarkable journey to healing from years of being abused as a child and the reason he is sharing his stories now on his blog.
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2022-11-0349 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse55| Toxic Masculinity PanelIn this episode we discus toxic masculinity with Mike Chapman and Nathan Spiteri
How it affects us and why as survivors are we susceptible to its affects
We are inundated with displays of toxic masculinity in all of the media, TV, Movies, video games all display unhealthy masculinity.
What are the affects of this on our lives and the ones that we care about and how do we counter this?
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2022-10-1156 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse54|The Problem of PainThe pain from being abused doesn't just go away, but what happens to it?
It evolves to become more manageable as you explore your pain.
We go through the stages of pain as you uncover the feelings that the pain brings up.
This takes being vulnerable to expressing the hurt from the pain.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2022-09-2630 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse53|I Thought it was Just MeAs survivors we often don't realize that our abuse doesn't just affect ourselves.
Especially if we don't address our issues and just try to hide what happened to us.
There are many ways that the abuse has affects in our relationships that we might not even be aware of.
It can hold us back from having healthy relationships with those that we care the most about.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2022-08-3135 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse52|40 Days to Forgiveness with Dr. Ron RamseyDr. Ron Ramsey is the author of "Forty Days to Forgiveness; a Christians Field Guide to the Forgiveness Journey"
He draws on his experiences as an organization development consultant, his knowledge of the behavioral sciences,
and theological studies and his own unforgiveness challenges to lead readers on a forgiveness journey in this book
We talk with him about why he wrote this book and the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation and why unforgiveness
is so harmful
https://fortydaystoforgiveness.com
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No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse50|Women Weigh in on Shame and Being a SurvivorIn this panel we talk about shame, both healthy shame and toxic shame.
Former guests Tracy, Stephanie and Ashleigh are joined with a newcomer to the show Kevin's wife Charnell
They all weigh n o.n how shame affects our lives and how to handle shame effectively.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2022-06-271h 07No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse49|A Caretakers Journey to Healing and Recovery with StephanieStephanie is a wife, mother, grandmother and recently is letting go of her caretaker rolls in her family
She runs a community closet for people who need a hand up!
She shares her story of childhood abuse, how it has affected her and how she has come to terms with it.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2022-06-1529 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse48|When our Children Reach the Age we were When we were Abused we get More HealingKendrick contacted us after finding our podcast and was interested in doing an interview,
He was abused as a child and went through some difficult periods in his life ,
He also had some healing times in his life where he felt he was handling his issues with the
trauma but when his son turned about the same age as he was when he was abused he was
triggered and realized that he still had work to do.
During this process he has found some people that he could feel s...2022-05-3144 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse47|Memories if a Male Sexual Abuse SurvivorAlan contacted us on the Male Survivor website and offered his encouragement for our work.
After corresponding with him and hearing more of his story we asked if he would like to do an interview and he agreed.
He has struggled with SSA for years without understanding why.
Then a few years ago after hearing a post from a pastor that reminded him of a memory that he had repressed about being abused.
He started searching for help with understanding his issues which led him to the Male Survivor website and...2022-05-091h 00No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse46|Dan has Joy Now that he has Openly Shared his Survivor StoryWe first interviewed Dan about a year ago and then he joined us on our PTSD panel just recently,
During that panel he shared about how much had changed for him since we originally interviewed him,
So we thought it would be great to have him on to do a follow up interview to hear about what has been happening with him,
And it turns out that there has been a lot that he is very exited about and was happy to share with us,
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No Longer...2022-05-0343 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse45|The 64 Million Dollar Question Where was God?One of the hardest questions survivors ask is if there is a God why does He let abuse happen?
Was it a part of his plan? Or was I being punished for something?
None of us truly know Gods plan but if we are given free will than the only one to blame for our abuse would be the perpetrator.
We are never at fault for the abuse that happened to us and blaming anyone besides the perpetrator does not help our healing.
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No Longer Ashamed FB...2022-04-2636 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse44|PTSD and C-PTSD or PTSI?For this panel we are joined with our previous guests Mike, Luke, Dr. Doug Carpenter and Dan, to discuss PTSD.
We reflect on what PTSD is and how it affects our lives and what helps in treating our PTSD.
We also discuss whether it should be called PTSD or if it would be more accurate and helpful to call it PTSI.
Since it seems more accurate to identify it as an injury rather than a disorder.
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2022-04-111h 09No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse43|Stellate Ganglion Block to Recover From Childhood AbuseKevin Brigs join us to talk about his Stellate Ganglion Block procedure. Dr. Springer has worked with Veterans with PTSD walking them through the SGB procedure. SGB is an injection of a local anesthetic into the stellate ganglion, a nerve bundle in the neck connected to the fight or flight system, to help people feel calm again in their own bodies. Kevin is a retired California State Patrol who's beat was the Golden Gate Bridge, saving over 200 people from jumping to their deaths. Looking for some relief from his trauma he turned to the Stella Center and Dr. Springer. Video of...2022-03-2742 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse42|Dad didn't Protect Me Donna's Journey into RecoveryDonna is a wife, mother, coach, leader and excellent friend.
She is the wife of Andy N. who we interviewed in an earlier episode.
We are so grateful that she is willing to share the story of her abuse and the journey she is walking in recovery.
We know that recovery is a process and it seems that the first step is telling your story.
So we hope that this will encourage you to share your story with somebody who is safe.
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No Longer Ashame...2022-03-0752 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse41|Survivors Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse with Dr. Doug CarpenterIn this episode we interview Douglas W. Carpenter Psy.D. about his new book
"Secret Shame: A Survivors Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development"
He reveals to us some of the insight that he has researched from studying sexual abuse in male survivors and from being a survivor himself.
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2022-02-231h 06No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse40|Doors Opened After Sharing Childhood Sex Trafficking StoryIt's been just over a year since we first interviewed Mike on our podcast so we thought we would do a follow up with him to catch up on how he has been.
Well he has been very busy having been doing a lot of exciting new things and finding out that sharing his story has been helping many people and now he has found new ways to help others.
Mike's Coaching page Polar Life Coaching
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2022-02-061h 04No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse39|Healing Once Recognizing YES it was AbuseGino contacted us after finding out about our podcast on the Male Survivor website.
He has posted his story on youtube and after listening to our podcast offered to do an interview..
He was abused at a young age and it continued for years but he did not understand that it was abuse.
until he was an adult and he read another mans story of abuse online.
That is when his journey of healing began and he has since started sharing his story.
in the hope that it will h...2022-01-2549 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse38|Coming to Terms with Childhood Sexual AbuseAndy is the father of 4 and has worked as a janitor at a school until recently when he and his wife moved from Washington to Florida.
Andy is a musician and his band has a cd called "Brothers in Arms, Give Him the Glory".
He has survived childhood sexual abuse and he shares how he has come to terms with it.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
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bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-12-2743 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual AbuseEpisode 37 Our interview with Andy N.Andy is the father of 4 and has worked as a janitor at a school until recently when he and his wife moved from Washington to Florida
Andy is a musician and his band has a cd called "Brothers in Arms, Give Him the Glory"
He is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and he shares how he has come to terms with it
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Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevin-bolger4/message
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kevin-bolger4/support2021-12-2743 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse37|Abuse Fogiveness and RestorationTom is a business owner, entrepreneur, and part time pastor.
He loves mission work and is passionate about helping people!
He shares his story of healing from childhood abuse and forgiveness.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
https://www.facebook.com/nolongerashamed.org
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-12-1954 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse36|Youth Pastor Shares her Healing Journey of Overcoming AbuseLinnea is a youth Pastor who was abused by a relative beginning when she was one.
She shares about her healing journey with God and how He has helped her
to overcome her issues from the abuse and to confront her abuser.
Which has made it possible for her to be an amazing youth Pastor.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
https://www.facebook.com/nolongerashamed.org
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-12-031h 03No Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse35|Emotions Are Information Rage is a Valid Emotion for SurvivorsEmotions are so important, they are information.
What happens when you lose control of your emotion like anger.
Then you get rage and that is not healthy.
It is so important to feel and express your emotions but it is also important to realize when you are losing control.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
https://www.facebook.com/nolongerashamed.org
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-11-0836 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse34| Our Responsibility When We See Red Flags of AbuseWhat are red flags and how do you know when you should do something about them.
As survivors sometimes we are more aware of red flags because we know the signs.
What is our role if we see something that makes us uncomfortable.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
https://www.facebook.com/nolongerashamed.org
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-10-1832 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse33| Does Disclosure of Abuse Bring Closure?It's one thing to share your story but disclosure is an even bigger step
Do you need to share your story with your family?
Or is it necessary to disclose your story with the police to try to stop your perpetrator from harming anyone else?
These are important steps but you need to be prepared for what the fallout may happen if you take them.
Also it is important to understand your motives for taking these steps.
If your motive is to achieve closure than you might be disappointed t...2021-10-1229 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse32| Coercive ControlWhat is Coercive control and why it is so important to be aware of it.
As survivors we can be more prone to unhealthy relationships as a result of the lessons that we were taught.
Especially if we don't go through the healing process.
That is why we need to be aware of the signs of coercive control and how to safely get help if we are in a relationship with
someone who is controlling us.
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship there is a...2021-09-0125 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse31|Wisdom from Interviewing Survivors of Childhood Sexual AbuseWell it's been a year and for this episode we took a look back at what we have learned while doing this.
This is not a new subject for us, we have both been through the process of healing for a long time and that is.
why we started this podcast to share with others what the process is like and why it is so important.
So it was a bit surprising for us how much we have learned by doing this podcast and revisiting these issues.
from a fresh perspective...2021-08-2133 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse30|Shame and how it Affects Male SurvivorsThis is a panel discussions with some of the survivors that we have interviewed.
In this episode we are discussing Shame and how it affects male survivors.
Our guest panelists are Mike and Luke who we interviewed in previous. episodes and they have since become friends on our Facebook page.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-08-1557 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse29|First we Name it Abuse with Ashleigh***warning this episode contains some graphic audio which may be a trigger so please take care of yourself if you listen.
Join us as we talk with Ashleigh about her childhood sexual abuse and how it continued to affect her until she was able.
to call it what it was "abuse" and how she was able to then get some help and healing.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
2021-08-0652 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse28|A Close Call with a Catholic PriestChef Andy shares with us his childhood sexual abuse at the hand of a Priest
That led to addiction and other issues.
He talks about God's healing power and what it means to let go and forgive.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
2021-07-0134 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse27|Men and VulnerabilityIt is so hard to be vulnerable especially for men.
But vulnerability is key to our healing and in reality it takes great strength and courage to be vulnerable.
By being vulnerable we allow ourselves to open up to the feelings that we are so afraid of.
We have to access those feelings to get through them and find out that we don't have to be controlled by them.
By being vulnerable we become stronger and more self assured and we learn that we don't have to be afraid of our...2021-06-2144 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse26|You are not Alone Advocate and Stand up for YourselfYour story matters!
Your story is important not only to yourself but for others who are afraid to tell their stories and need to realize that they are not alone.
It is important to be your own advocate and stand up for yourself!
Tell your story to someone you trust and keep telling it so that those who need to hear it will have the courage to come forward with their stories.
Find the help that you need to get healing because you deserve to heal and have hope and you w...2021-06-1437 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse25|A Woman's Journey From Sexual Abuse to Sexual Addiction to RecoveryJamie has been in recovery from addictions for years.
First from drugs, then from alcohol and cigarettes.
Then she discovered the core of her addictions was another not very talked about addiction, especially for women.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-06-0739 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse24|Luke's Bravery in Sharing his Abuse by an Older WomanLuke found our podcast and decided to reach out to us after listening.
He shared his story with us and we invited him to do an interview because we feel his story might resonate with you.
There is so much misunderstanding when it comes to childhood sexual abuse including the fear of sharing your story because you will be judged.
Part of Luke's story is how he is overcoming that fear of sharing and now he is writing a book because he wants to share his story to help others who are struggling...2021-05-3136 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse23|It Took an Episode of Law and Order for Avremi to Recognize he was AbusedIt took an episode of Law and Order for Avremi Zippel to realize what happened to him as a child was abuse.
It took a counselor to believe his story and encourage him to report the nanny who abused him for a decade.
Now he is free! and he is an advocate for survivors to change the laws and legislation around childhood sexual abuse.2021-05-2454 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse22|Finally Sharing his "Real" Story Dan Now Helps Other Survivors in RecoveryDan suffered childhood sexual abuse and paid doubly for it. He shares his story about learning to share his story and the freedom that has come from that. It took awhile to get to the "telling" his story conclusion but I think many struggle with the same thing, "I'm not telling", it makes us sick and takes a toll when we hold these things in.
After sharing his story Dan felt the freedom to help former prisoners, men in recovery and survivors with his newfound grace and acceptance.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerKevin15@gmai...2021-05-1636 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse21|Is it a Memory or the Devil? with Pastor YvonnePastor Yvonne shares her story of restoration from childhood sexual abuse.
When she first came to Jesus and began to remember her abuse she thought it was satan and rebuked the devil.
God showed her that He wanted to heal her but first she had to accept that this is a memory and not the enemy.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin@gmail.com2021-05-0844 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse20|Abandonment Misunderstanding and Tracy's Journey to HealingTracy shares her story of childhood sexual abuse from a brother who was also sexually abused
The story includes abandonment, misunderstanding and her journey toward healing,
Her book is called Hope's Transformative Power
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-05-0244 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse19|Self ForgivenessWhy are we so much harder on ourselves than anyone else?
We hold ourselves to such a high standard that it's hard to ever give us a break,
We give others so much more grace than we allow ourselves we are our own worst critics,
This is so unhealthy when we are trying to heal we need to be nice to ourselves so we can have grace for others.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-04-2435 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse18|Walls or Masks Putting them up and Taking them DownSome people call them walls and some call them masks.
However we choose to call them the important thing is why do we hide behind How do we take them down to show the person hiding behind them?
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-04-1128 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse17|Men are Abused too Movement Ministries with Hampton Conway IIIThis week our guest is Hampton Conway III, he has started a ministry called “Movement Ministries. Hampton was married for 14 years and the father of 10 children, when he realized he had to end the marriage, due to spousal abuse. He tried to talk with someone about it but the usual response was “are you going to take that?” He finally left and began the journey of getting custody of his 10 children, for their safety. It was a very challenging journey because dads are not favored in the court system or believed. People find it hard to believe men are abused. T...2021-03-2756 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse16|We Thought our Childhood was Normal with NicoleHealing comes in phases, the first step is recognizing the abuse, which may happen in your adult years.
What we may see as normal growing up looks very different outside of the family.
The abuser works hard to normalize bad behavior. Nicole shares her story of what it was like healing from childhood abuse.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-03-1746 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse15|Recognizing and Tearing Down WallsWe build emotional walls when we are young to protect ourselves,
but when we get older and start healing those walls trap us inside.
How do we recognize those walls we have built so we can start tearing them down brick by brick?
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2021-03-0340 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse14|Coping with SorrowSorrow can be overwhelming and it can also be healing
Going through sorrow can help you realize that you are worth taking care of yourself you do matter
The grieving process is so important for survivors to get through so they can have access to the full range of their feelings
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerke\\|vin15@gmial.com2021-02-0141 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse13| Feelings Whoa Whoa WhoaFeelings can be hard to handle especially when we have been taught that our feelings are bad or wrong
Feelings are neither bad or wrong they are just how we react to happens to us
If we don't allow ourselves to have feelings than we will never process what happened to us and get past it
2021-01-2346 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse12|Navigating the Holidays as a SurvivorThe Holidays can be stressful for everyone especially for survivors who suffered abuse from family members
This year everything has changed about the holidays maybe this is a good year to start new healthy traditions2020-12-2131 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse11| TriggersDo we recognize our own triggers?
How do we know when we are being triggered and how do we deal with them?
You are not alone.
There is help
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/2020-12-1941 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse10|Sex Trafficked as a Child and Abused by a Pastor as a TeenMike Chapman is a sign language interpreter who shared with us his story of having repressed memories of CSA and how he pieced together what happened to him when he was a child
We talked with him about why he is sharing his story now and how that is helping him on his journey of healing
You can also hear Mike speak on the NAASCA "Stop Child Abuse Now" (SCAN) https://www.blogtalkradio.com/naasca/2020/11/26/stop-child-abuse-now-scan--2538
He also reads his poetry on "Survivors Stories Online"available on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/events/4561204087285160...2020-12-0742 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse9| The Price and Fallout of SecretsThere can be fallout when we break the silence, make sure you have support.
What's the fallout like and how do you address it?
It's so important to break the silence but not always easy because of fallout.
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/2020-11-2240 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse8| We are as Sick as our SecretsWhy we keep it a secret!
It's time to break the silence. Family secrets protect the innocent. There may be more victims and you can break the cycle and stop the abuse.
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/2020-10-3135 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse7|The Lost ChildWho is that kid you left behind?
How do you connect to him so he feel found and protected?
Getting in touch with that child can help you navigate your recovery once he/she feels safe.
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/2020-10-2435 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse6| Restoration is a Process, but so Worth itRestoration is so important when you are going through the process of recovering from abuse.
What do you do to restore yourself in a healthy positive way.
Why is it so important to have a time of restoration?
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/2020-10-0937 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse5| Stigma Keeps us StuckWhat are the issues others believe about survivors and how does that affect us?
We worry about what people think and we can be hurt by what people say when they are "ignorant" of what it means to be abused.
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/2020-10-0134 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse4| Hope for SurvivorsHope is the thing that gets us through the process of recovery. Some times are harder than others but when we realize we are not alone we get hope and hope can motivate us to heal and share and help the next person.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gamil.com2020-09-1026 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse3|Dealing with Shame the Hidden EnemyWhy is it so hard to talk about what happened to us?
It is shame: the hidden enemy.
We can be no longer ashamed of who we are as survivors, it starts with sharing your story and getting help and support! You are not alone.
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com2020-09-1036 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse2|How to Respond When Someone Tells You They Have Been Abused?What do you say when someone has shared with you their story of being a survivor?
Tips about letting them know that you care about what happens to them.
The best thing we can do is to say I Believe You!
If you don't think you can handle the story say I believe you and can I help you find someone to talk too?
bolgerkevin15@gmail.com
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/2020-09-1051 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual AbuseBonus Episode part 2 The Fire SalamanderOk so you all have been wondering whats up with the salamander on fire? In these Bonus Episodes we explain what the salamander is about
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Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevin-bolger4/message
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kevin-bolger4/support2020-09-0312 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual AbuseBonus Episode part 1The tattoo that I did not get
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Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kevin-bolger4/support2020-08-3115 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual Abuse1|The Risk of Sharing Your StoryThe who what and why of sharing your story
Who is it safe to share with
What to expect when you share
Why it is so important to share
What is on the other side of sharing?
No Longer Ashamed
https://www.nolongerashamed.org/
Bolgerkevin15@gamil.com2020-08-2248 minNo Longer Ashamed Surviving Sexual AbuseIntroduction to No Longer AshamedLetting Survivors know they are not alone, the journey to recovery is worth taking.
You are worth it! You deserve to get the help you need, it is available and waiting for you to take it.
It begins when you tell your story. We get what it is like to be stuck in the quicksand of isolation. We have found hope and we are reaching out
to give you a hand up, which is what you will do with the next person that is stuck.
2020-08-0825 min