Shows
Garden Plots with SkeletorS3E08 - A Rutabaga is a Wish Your Heart Makesnot really sure if this counts as a gpws episode tbh, but this is how the big man wants to manage his feed, so whatevs. i think perfuma may have gone mad with power or something. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Perfuma: Meganbob Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard
2023-07-0127 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS3E07 - Skeletors Say the Darndest ThingsFEAR THE GREAT AND UNKNOWABLE EPISODE SEVEN! BUT WITHIN FEAR LIES KNOWLEDGE--KNOWLEDGE OF LAVENDER! AFTER DRINKING DEEP OF THE WISDOM HEREIN, YOU WILL BE LEFT WITH ALL THE ACTIONABLE INFORMATION YOU COULD DREAM OF REGARDING LAVENDER: WHAT TYPE OF SOIL TO USE, HOW MUCH WATER TO GIVE IT, AND WHETHER IT IS SAFE FOR PETS AND IDIOTIC MINIONS! AND... THAT'S IT, ACTUALLY! YES, DESPITE THE PRESENCE OF A THREE-AND-A-HALF-YEAR-OLD IN THIS RECORDING, THINGS WENT QUITE SMOOTHLY! PERHAPS OVERLY SMOOTHLY! BUT NEVER LET IT BE SAID THAT SKELETOR DOES NOT TAKE THE UNEXPECTED AND TURN IT INTO VICTORY! NOT TODAY...
2023-06-0122 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS3E06 - NanaNOTHING ESCAPES THE COLD AND MERCILESS GAZE OF EPISODE SIX OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR! MY OWN GAZE IS SIMILARLY COLD, MERCILESS, AND INESCAPABLE--AND IT HAS NOT ESCAPED MY ATTENTION THAT SOME OF YOU HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING OF LATE OF A "LACK" OF "PLANT CONTENT" ON THIS "PLANT PODCAST" IN FAVOR OF AN "OVERABUNDANCE" OF "CHARACTER-CENTRIC SCHTICK!" WELL, THAT CHANGES NOW! OR, PERHAPS MORE ACCURATELY, SOON! WHILE WE DON'T GET AS INTO THE TOPICS OF TRIOSTAR STROMANTHES AND CHICKWEED AS ONE MIGHT DESIRE, AND WHILE THERE IS, PERHAPS, MORE THAN A LITTLE SCHTICK INVOLVING ONE OR MORE CHARACTERS, YOU...
2023-05-0130 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS3E05 - Garden Plots Points with Mer-ManGreetings to you, Pointer Pals, whether you be aquatic, land-based, or amphibious like yours truly, and welcome to the latest installment of the internet's greatest Garden Plots with Skeletor recap podcast, Garden Plot Points with Mer-Man! In this exciting episode, we sit down with none other than Duncan (FKA Man-At-Arms) for a chat about everyone's favorite show, Garden Plots with Skeletor! We chat about the goings-on at the Royal Palace of Eternia, the status of Prince Adam's alignment, and what family-oriented cable channel is best to put on to avoid scaring whatever Ram Man or Beast Man you may...
2023-04-0125 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS3E04 - Evil DadEPISODE FOUR IS THE ONE WHO KNOCKS! AND NO, THAT REFERENCE ISN'T OUTDATED, YOU'RE OUTDATED! THANKFULLY FOR YOU, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T RECEIVE THE INTELLECTUAL BOUNTY THAT IS THIS EPISODE'S SEGMENT ON CATNIP! SADLY, THAT IS THE ENTIRETY OF THIS EPISODE'S PLANT CONTENT--ASIDE FROM A BRIEF "LEAF IT TO ME" THAT ENDS SOMEWHAT UNEXPECTEDLY--BECAUSE, AS IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY FREQUENT, I ONCE MORE FIND MYSELF ON THE RECEIVING END OF YET ANOTHER BOUT OF ANTICS FROM A PARTICULAR HOUSEGUEST AND HIS PARTICULAR PARENTAL FIGURE/BOSS! HOW DOES THIS ALL PLAY OUT? WHO CARES! THE IMPORTANT PART IS, AFTER THIS...
2023-03-0123 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS3E03 - StalemateLOOK UPON EPISODE THREE OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR! YES, DESPITE THE ADDED... COMPLICATIONS... OF MY CURRENT SITUATION, I STILL FIND TIME TO TRAIN YOU IN CULTIVATING THAT MOST SEEMINGLY-DIFFICULT OF FLOWERS, THE ORCHID! WE GO SO FAR AS TO DISCUSS THE POSSIBLE EDIBILITY OF THIS FLOWER VIS-A-VIS BEAST MAN! AND WITNESS WHAT OCCURS WHEN A CERTAIN HOUSEGUEST MAKES THE MISTAKE OF CROSSING ME *AND* MY ORCHIDS! LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL--A SKELETOR WHO IS *TECHNICALLY* GOOD CAN STILL OUT-EVIL ANYONE, REGARDLESS OF WHAT WORLD THEY COME FROM! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: S...
2023-02-0120 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS3E01 - How Much Is That Poggy in the WindowYOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE MY GARDENING WISDOM, ONLY TO FIND THE FIRST EPISODE OF SEASON THREE WAITING FOR YOU! OF COURSE, THINGS HAVE... CHANGED... SLIGHTLY, BUT ONE THING THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE IS MY DEDICATION TO IMPROVING YOU AND YOUR GARDENING KNOW-HOW! TO THAT END, WE'LL BE REVISITING SOME OLDER TOPICS IN GREATER DEPTH! WE ADDRESS A LISTENER QUESTION ABOUT WATERING PROPERLY! OUR GLOWING, FLUFFY COMPANION FINALLY ACQUIRES A SUITABLE MONIKER! AND RILEY'S NEW SOUND BOARD HAS ARGUABLY DRIVEN HER SLIGHTLY MAD WITH POWER! WHICH IS FINE, BECAUSE NOW THAT WE'RE FULLY BACK, "POWER" WON'T BE IN SHORT...
2022-12-0119 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS3E00 - Answering Machineturns out, some folks out there have Opinions and Want To Share Them. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Hordak: Neal ButlerCobra Commander: James D'AmatoMegatron: Miles SchneidermanEvil Seed: Nathaniel HubbardGargamel: Nathaniel HubbardMumm-Ra: Dan MulkerinDr. Claw: Rafael MedinaMan-At-Arms: Jarod K Anderson
2022-11-0117 minGarden Plots with SkeletorSeason 3 Trailer?Prepare yourselves for season 3 of Garden Plots with Skeletor with this very accurate trailer filled with 100% genuine clips that will absolutely be in said season. Tremble at its veracity! Cast: Narrator: Nathaniel Hubbard Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina He-Man: Kris Newton Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Whiplash: Liz Logan Riley: Kit Mulkerin Man-at-Arms: Jarod Anderson Music Used: The Descent by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4490-the-descent License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Neo Western by Kevin...
2022-10-0106 minGarden Plots with SkeletorBedtime for Beast Manneed to put something on to help your kids fall asleep? definitely don't use this one. Cast: Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Perfuma: Meganbob Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Whiplash: Liz Logan Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin "Mana Two - Part 1" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
2022-09-0115 minGarden Plots with SkeletorBoring Family Stuffi don't know where i got the idea that the chaos around here would somehow decrease or something. Cast: Riley: Kit Mulkerin
2022-07-0106 minGarden Plots with SkeletorPet Soundsguess what happens when you bring animals into the recording booth? Cast: Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Aqua-Kitty: Kit Mulkerin
2022-05-0106 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E22 - A Kitten for Mer-Manthis is a huge one, blah blah blah, nothing will ever be the same again, etc, you know the drill. more importantly, hit me up if you have good ideas for cat names, because so far the only possibilities we have are, like, ocean or fish puns, and i'm not coming to work if i have to see a cat named "sea purrtle." i just don't have it in me. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Prince Adam/He-Man: Kris Newton Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Garden Plots with Skeletor season 3 coming...
2022-02-0129 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E21 - THE EVILEST EPISODE!IF YOU CAME SEEKING COMFORT AND REASSURANCE FROM EPISODE 21, YOU WOULD BEST BE SERVED LOOKING ELSEWHERE! BUT IF YOU SEEK RELENTLESS, UNAPOLOGETIC, AND ABOVE ALL, *EVIL* KNOWLEDGE, THEN OPEN YOUR EARS AND PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR WORLD SHAKEN! BECAUSE YES, OF COURSE YOU RECEIVE ONLY THE EVILEST OF KNOWLEDGE FROM MY SHOW, WHAT WITH ME BEING THE EVILEST! ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WITH A BRAIN BETWEEN THEIR EARS WOULD DARE TO INSINUATE OTHERWISE! SADLY THE WORLD IS NOT WITHOUT ITS SHARE OF BRAINLESS BOOBS, SO IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN DOUBT OF MY EVIL STATUS, THEN EVEN THE BRIEFEST LISTEN...
2022-01-1532 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E20 - The Evil Gardeners' Grow-Offcan't type now, gotta look up remedies for hornet stings Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evilseed: Nathaniel Hubbard Cobra Commander: James D'Amato Mumm-Ra: Dan Mulkerin
2022-01-0126 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E19 - Christmas with the PranksHOPEFULLY THE HOLIDAY SEASON HAS PUT YOU IN THE MOOD FOR COWED SUBSERVIENCE, FOR THAT IS ALL THAT WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE OVERWHELMING FORCE THAT IS EPISODE 19! WE ARE JOINED THIS EPISODE BY A GUEST FROM THE OBJECTIVELY LESSER PODCAST "MY PRINCESS, MY PRINCESS, AND BOW," AND PERFUMA BRINGS HER TYPICAL FLAWED POINT OF VIEW AS A REFRESHING COUNTERPOINT TO MY UNFLAGGING PERFECTION! THIS EPISODE WILL TEACH YOU NOT ONLY ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS CACTUS, BUT ALSO ABOUT HOW TO DEVELOP YOUR ACTING SKILLS TO THE LEVEL OF MASTERY, AS WELL AS WHY EVEN THE MOST HARMLESS-SEEMING PRANKS SHOULD...
2021-12-1523 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E18 - Money Doesn't Grow on BeesNOTHING, NOT A SINGLE THING OR EVENT IN ALL HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE, CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THE TERRIFYING MAGNITUDE OF EPISODE 18! AND NOTHING IN THE UNIVERSE CAN STOP ME FROM OBTAINING THAT WHICH I DESIRE AND DESERVE--NOT THE ONGOING CRIPPLING DEBT FROM THE CONTRACTARIANS, NOT THE ERSATZ "EVIL" OF MY WORTHLESS NEPHEW, AND NOT THE SEEMINGLY UNAVOIDABLE CHAOS OF A CAR WASH FUND RAISER! THIS EPISODE WILL PRESENT YOU WITH VITAL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT DEALING WITH SALT CONTENT IN YOUR SOIL AND WATER, THE IMPORTANCE OF CLEANING YOUR GARDENING TOOLS, AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS ADVISABLE TO FEED...
2021-12-0146 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E17 - The Great Eternian Bake OffDESPITE THE BEST EFFORTS OF MY INNUMERABLE FOES, EPISODE 17 HAS ARRIVED WITH FORCE AND FURY! AND YES, LISTENERS, I AM CONSTANTLY BESET BY MY SHORT-SIGHTED LESSERS WHO SEEK AT EVERY TURN TO THWART MY GRANDIOSE PLOTS, BUT WHEN ONE IS POSSESSED OF SUCH TENACITY AND CREATIVITY AS MYSELF, ONE NEED NOT WORRY! WHO BUT SKELETOR WOULD NOT ONLY LEVERAGE THE SALE OF BAKED GOODS TO OVERCOME FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES, BUT ALSO MANAGE TO INCLUDE IMPORTANT FACTOIDS ABOUT BOTH CARDAMOM AND CACAO, DESPITE THE FIERY CHAOS WHICH IS UNAVOIDABLE IN ANY INTERACTION WHICH INCLUDES WHIPLASH? NO ONE, THAT'S WHO! AND IT...
2021-11-1530 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS2E16 - My Princess, My Princess, and Bowhey y'all. with things at snake mountain being kinda up in the air still, i figured i'd drop a little something into the feed in the meantime. it's something i worked on a bit on the side when i popped over to etheria. perfuma and some of the other princesses over there wanted to try their hand at podcasting, so i gave them a hand. i think it turned out pretty good. they gave some advice, they talked about stuff... one of them really liked punking this cat lady for some reason... anyway, you should listen and subscribe. i...
2021-11-0143 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E15 - Dun Dun Duuuunif you listened to the last episode, you know stuff got weird. guess what? stuff is no less weird in this one. i think i need a break. i hear etheria is nice this time of year... Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina Two Bad: Jef Aldritch and Jon Taylor He-Buddy #1: Miles Schneiderman
2021-10-1518 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E14 - Clam Trowel and the Case of the Cantankerous Corpsewell, uh... how to describe this one? if you've been listening, you know about snake mountain's money problems. the gang decides to fix it with a dinner theater murder mystery and... well, things get pretty weird. i'm writing this way after all this stuff happened, obviously, and i'm still trying to figure out how to process all this. i dunno, just listen i guess. you'll see what i mean. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina Two Bad: Jef Aldritch and...
2021-10-0128 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E13 - A Nice Normal EpisodeWHEN YOU GAZE INTO EPISODE 13, EPISODE 13 ALSO GAZES INTO YOU! YET YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF WELCOMING ITS PIERCING STARE, FOR DESPITE THE CONSTANT CONNIVING INTERRUPTIONS OF BOTH A TREASONOUS, LARCENOUS PEACE LILY *AND* THE LATEST OF SNAKE MOUNTAIN'S MORONIC MONARCHS, THIS EPISODE STILL MANAGES TO DIG INTO SUCH DIVERSE TOPICS AS CARING FOR PEPEROMIAS, DEALING WITH MOLD GROWTH IN YOUR SOIL, AND THE POTENTIAL LETHALITY OF GINGKO TREES! AND THAT WAS ONLY THE PRE-PLANNED KNOWLEDGE PRESENTED IN THIS EPISODE--I AM SO OVERFLOWING WITH BOTH WISDOM *AND* GENEROSITY THAT YOU WILL ALSO LEARN ABOUT THE IDEAL GIFTS TO GIVE IN...
2021-09-1528 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E12 - A Fist In Time Saves NoneTHERE EXISTS NO FREEDOM FROM EPISODE 12, ONLY FREEDOM *THROUGH* EPISODE 12! JUST AS I CAN FIND NO FREEDOM FROM THE YOKE OF ETERNIA'S MOST IRKSOME HOLIDAY, SIBLING'S DAY! THAT'S RIGHT LISTENER, EVEN WHILST TRAPPED ON A BOAT WITH TWO OF ETERNIA'S MOST BRAINLESS BEARDED BUMBLERS (AND ALSO TWO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE LARGELY FINE), I STILL FIND TIME AND OPPORTUNITY TO FURTHER YOUR CRITICAL BOTANICAL EDUCATION! WE LEARN OF PLANTS THAT CAN DOUBLE AS CUSHIONING FOR THOSE IN YOUR LIFE WHO REGULARLY CAREEN INTO WALLS! WE EXAMINE THE CAT TAIL AND ITS MANY CONTRIBUTIONS TO A WATERY ECOSYSTEM! AND IF...
2021-09-0140 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E11 - The East WingTHEY SAY THAT DEATH RIDES A PALE HORSE... AND SO, TOO, DOES EPISODE 11! AND DESPITE THE SLIGHTLY UNCONVENTIONAL SETTING OF THIS RECORDING (DUE IN NO SMALL PART TO THE CURRENTLY UNCONVENTIONAL LAYOUT OF SNAKE MOUNTAIN), MY FONT OF GARDENING KNOWLEDGE REMAINS FREE-FLOWING! ALL THE BETTER FOR YOU HAPLESS HARE-BRAINED HORTICULTURALISTS, AS WE DISCUSS THE NIGH-UBIQUITOUS SPIDER PLANT! WE EXAMINE THE POTENTIAL LETHALITY OF ROSEMARY! AND IF YOU ARE LAMENTING THE FACT THAT WE DON'T GET INTO IDEAL FIRST PLANTS FOR CHILDREN, BLAME SNAKE MOUNTAIN'S MOST RECENT MARITIME MONARCH! HE CAN CLING TO HIS HOLLOW "CAMPAIGN PROMISES" AND "COGENT AND...
2021-08-1528 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E10 - Pizza TreehouseFALL ON YOUR KNEES IN GRATEFUL SUPPLICATION BEFORE EPISODE TEN! YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO ME ON A CONSTANT AND DAILY BASIS, BUT THAT GRATITUDE IS ESPECIALLY APPROPRIATE NOW, AS THIS IS THE LONG-AWAITED SUCCULENT EPISODE! THAT'S RIGHT, HERE WE WILL EXAMINE THAT EVER-SO PERSISTENT AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSE THAT COMES TO GARDENERS OF ALL LEVELS OF EXPERIENCE: THE URGE TO ATTEMPT TO KEEP ALIVE A PLANT THAT PREFERS ARID ENVIRONMENTS! A DIFFICULT TASK MADE ALL THE MORE DIFFICULT BY THE ILL-ADVISED CONSTRUCTION PLANS OF SNAKE MOUNTAIN'S LATEST OVERLORD AND BY THE CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS OF ITS NEWEST FULL-TIME MINION! STILL...
2021-08-0130 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E09 - Not Today, AdulthoodYOUR NIGHTMARE CONTINUES UNABATED AS THE NEWEST EPISODE OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR EMERGES INTO AN UNPREPARED WORLD! DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SIMILARLY UNPREPARED, LISTENER, AS A NUMBER OF TOPICS OF OVERWHELMING IMPORTANCE ARE DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE! THAT'S RIGHT, NOT ONLY DOES THIS EPISODE PROVIDE YOU WITH LITERALLY PRICELESS INFORMATION ABOUT WEEDS, GARDENING TOOLS, AND SQUASH, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE THOSE AMONG US WHO ARE LEGION? WHO ARE LIKELY CAPABLE OF TRANSFORMING INTO A SWARM OF STINGING INSECTS DESPITE ALL THEIR PROTESTATIONS TO THE CONTRARY? WELL IT'S TRUE! YOU CAN'T AFFORD *NOT* TO LISTEN...
2021-07-1533 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E08 - This Eternian Lifeguess what? some weird stuff happened and we have a non-normal episode. again. i know, i'm shocked too. you may not learn as much about plants this time around, but maybe you'll learn something about... life? you'll definitely learn that you can't trust a single person in or around snake mountain, that's for sure. Cast: Riley: Kit Mulkerin Two Bad: Jef Aldritch and Jon Taylor Whiplash: Liz Logan Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Man-At-Arms: Jarod K. Anderson Ram Man: Jay Edidin Perfuma: Meganbob
2021-07-0129 min
Smash FictionHard Choices 3 - Marvel Cinematic UniverseBoners assemble! It's time to rank the fuckability of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the team of Claire, Kit, and Dan Mulkerin, along with MeganBob, are ready to romance one of the most expansive franchises in modern history. In their quest to find the median of fuckability, you'll learn more about robot sex than you ever thought you'd need to know, more about our hosts than ever before, and perhaps an answer to the question of just how exactly does the Hulk smash. So, grab your best spandex outfit and climb aboard the helicarrier for a ride that you'll...
2021-07-011h 30Garden Plots with SkeletorS2E07 - Tri-Klops, Bi-Klops, and No-Klops NOTHING CAN STOP THE TERRIFYING MOMENTUM OF EPISODE SEVEN! THAT'S RIGHT, NOT EVEN SOME DOWNRIGHT IMPLAUSIBLE ARCHITECTURAL REDESIGNS FROM SPITEFUL CONTRACTARIANS! IT DOES CHANGE THE OVERALL TEXTURE OF THE EPISODE, BUT DON'T THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT MEANS THAT YOU'LL BE RECEIVING ANY LESS THAN AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF PLANT FACTOIDS! YOU'LL BE ENLIGHTENED ABOUT THE FERAL AND HIGHLY PRACTICAL BUTTERFLY WEED! YOU'LL HAVE YOUR EYES OPENED TO THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE TIMES TO WATER YOUR PLANTS! YOU'LL RECEIVE FOXGLOVE-RELATED INFORMATION THAT COULD SAVE A FURRY IDIOT NEAR YOU! YOU'LL ALSO LEARN SOME RANDOM FACTS ABOUT GIRAFFES, EYE NOMENCLATURE, AND WOLFBATS--NOT...
2021-06-1526 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E06 - PLAPP Goes the Weasel NOTE THE DEEP FEELINGS OF DREAD IN YOUR BONES WHEN YOU LOOK UPON EPISODE SIX, LISTENER, AND TAKE CARE THAT YOU TREAD LIGHTLY! ALSO NOTE HOW IMMEDIATE THE REGRET IS WHEN MY OWN RIGHTEOUS LEADERSHIP IS REJECTED, AS MY FORMER MINIONS DEMONSTRATE ALL TOO CLEARLY IN THIS VERY EPISODE! BUT THE LEARNING DOESN'T STOP THERE, AS WE DELVE INTO THE SECRETS OF FERTILIZERS, A LISTENER QUESTION SHEDS SOME LIGHT ON PROBLEMS WITH TOMATO HARVESTS, AND WE EVEN GET SOME INCIDENTAL EXPLANATIONS ABOUT PROPAGATING PEACE LILIES! INCIDENTALLY, LISTENERS, IF YOU HAVE HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO DOWNLOAD A CERTAIN "PLANT APP" RECENTLY...
2021-06-0123 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E05 - Heavy Are the Heads That All Wear Their Own Individual CrownsMARK YOU THIS DATE IN HISTORY, O MEEK AND TREMBLING LISTENER, FOR THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU EXPERIENCED THE UNMATCHED FORCE OF EPISODE FIVE! AND THIS IS TRULY A MILESTONE EPISODE, AS THIS MARKS ONE OF THE FEW, IF ONLY, TIMES THAT A GUEST ON THIS SHOW HAS ACTUALLY BEEN WELCOME! WHICH, OF COURSE, DOESN'T PREVENT A VERITABLE PARADE OF *UN*INVITED GUESTS FROM FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS! FEAR NOT, FOR UNMITIGATED BUFFOONERY IS NO MATCH FOR MY GARDENING MIGHT, AND OUR DISCUSSIONS ON OXALIS TRIANGULARIS AND CHIVES REMAIN WHOLLY INTACT! BETTER STILL, AMIDST THE CHAOS OF CERTAIN...
2021-05-1523 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E04 - Extremely Petty CashIF YOU AWOKE THIS MORNING WITH AN INDEFINABLE BUT UNDENIABLE FEELING OF DREAD, THAT WAS YOUR BODY'S RESPONSE TO THE INCOMING TERROR OF EPISODE 4! AND WHAT COULD BE MORE TERRIFYING AND DREAD-INDUCING THAN CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS OF MY GARDENING GENIUS? MY WRATH UPON THOSE WHO INTERRUPT ME, OF COURSE! TRUE, THE ILL-DRESSED CONTRACTORS AND NUMBER-CRUNCHING MINIONS IN THIS EPISODE WERE NOT *IMMEDIATELY* SMOTE DOWN BY MY ARCANE MIGHT UPON COMMITTING THEIR TRANSGRESSIONS, BUT THAT IS ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE MY SIGHTS SET ON MUCH GRANDER THINGS! THINGS LIKE SWEET POTATOES! ALSO CALENDARS AND SCHEDULING! NOT TO MENTION PLANTS THAT THE...
2021-05-0123 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E03 - The POGfatheri asked the boss man what he wanted for this episode's description, and he just did this kind of threat-mope at me? like he would kill me with his own patheticness? i dunno, there should be a word for it. we'll call it skeletoring. he skeletored really hard at me. so... what happens in this one again? there's some plant talk, we check in with some of the changes in snake mountain, skeletor reveals some pretty dubious financial investment plans, and... well, i guess i *had* been pressuring him to find a hobby, so what happens here isn't all...
2021-04-1517 min
Smash FictionHard Choices 1 - Lord of the RingsWelcome to Smash Fiction Presents: Hard Choices, a podcast appearing approximately whenever the mood strikes and guaranteed to explore new vistas of horniness! In this episode, Miles Schneiderman, Kit Mulkerin, MeganBob, and special guest Katrina Ehrnman-Newton rank the fuckability of 21 notable Lord of the Rings characters in an attempt to uncover who is the median most fuckable character in the LOTR universe. Turn down the torchlight, stuff your pipe with the finest weed in the Southfarthing, and get ready for some big feelings (the ones that really matter) in this sensual journey that Tolkien would absolutely never have approved...
2021-04-011h 23Garden Plots with SkeletorS2E02 - And Ennui GoTHERE CAN BE NO ESCAPE FROM THE EXTREMELY FINE AND NOT-AT-ALL-WALLOWING-IN-EXISTENTIAL-DISCONTENT EPISODE TWO! AND SPEAKING OF BEINGS WHO ARE ENTIRELY CONTENT WITH THE CURRENT STATE OF THINGS, I, YOUR MAGNANIMOUS HOST, AM BACK WITH YET MORE GEMS OF GARDENING WISDOM TO FOIST UPON MY BRAINLESS AUDIENCE IN THE HOPES THAT MAYBE, POSSIBLY, SOMETHING MIGHT STICK! HEREIN LIE THE SECRETS TO EFFECTIVE GARDEN LAYOUTS, USING PLANTS TO CLEAN YOUR INDOOR AIR, AND LICHEN! IT'S JUST A SHAME THAT MY SOUND MINION INSISTS UPON WATERING DOWN MY INVALUABLE WISDOM WITH INANE RAMBLINGS ABOUT "HOBBIES" AND "DOING SOMETHING WITH ONE'S LIFE!" WELL...
2021-04-0124 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E01 - Everything Is FineI HOPE YOU ENJOYED WHATEVER PITIFUL COMFORT YOU WERE GIVEN DURING THIS PODCAST'S HIATUS, BUT THAT HIATUS--AND YOUR COMFORT--COMES TO AN END NOW! THAT'S RIGHT, DESPITE SUBSTANDARD INDOOR TEMPERATURES, DISAPPOINTING NEW SNAKE MOUNTAIN LEADERSHIP, AND AN UNACCEPTABLY MOUTHY PEACE LILY, GARDEN PLOTS IS BACK TO DELIVER MORE WONDERFUL YET TERRIFYING KNOWLEDGE OF ALL THAT THE WORLD OF PLANT CARE HAS TO OFFER! I REVEAL THE SECRETS OF USING YOUR SHOWER TO MAKE UP FOR YOUR OWN BUNGLING! WE EXPLORE THE DIFFICULT YET REWARDING EXPERIENCE OF RAISING A CROTON! A LISTENER WHO KNOWS THEIR PLACE COMES GROVELING WITH A QUESTION...
2021-03-1521 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS2E00 - Ask Not For Whom the Answering Machine Beepsokay, i'm dragging this thing back into production kicking and screaming if i have to. which, probably. my gpa is hanging on by a thread as it is. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Perfuma: Meganbob Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Queen Marlena: Claire Mulkerin Hordak: Chris Sims Whiplash: Liz Logan Sorceress: Alexandra Rowland Ram Man: Jay Edidin Man-at-Arms: Jarod K Anderson He-Man/Prince Adam: Kris Newton
2021-03-0111 minGarden Plots with SkeletorSeason 2 Trailer?Season 2 of Garden Plots with Skeletor is coming in March! Will any of the stuff in this trailer actually show up in the show? Only one way to find out... Cast: Narrator: Nathaniel Hubbard Man-at-Arms: Jarod K Anderson Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond Beast Man: Rafael Medina He-Man: Kris Newton Li'l Skelly: Dan Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard He-Buddy #1: Miles Schneiderman Whiplash: Liz Logan Music Used: Truth of the Legend by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4551-truth-of-the-legend
2021-02-1504 minGarden Plots with SkeletorSeason 1 Cutting Room Floori can already hear some of you out there saying, "how can this show have a cutting room floor? riley clearly doesn't edit anything." well think again. here's the proof of how wrong you are. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast Man: Rafael Medina Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond
2021-01-1516 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E25 - Have Yourself an Evil Little Christmassup fam, hope everyone's having a good holiday. this is another plant-light episode, but c'mon, it's christmas and stuff. we can't be bothered to think about, like, vines or whatever all the time. sometimes you just wanna get together with your buds, reflect on the year, exchange presents, and think about the future. well, there's a little bit of all of that in this episode, but... maybe not in the ways you're thinking. all i can say is that next year is gonna be very interesting. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Beast...
2020-12-2519 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E24 - The Flower of Grayskulldon't really have the energy for a description, for a lot of reasons. this one is... well, not really a good representation of the podcast's usual theme. i guess we haven't really visited the podcast's usual theme for a bit now, but this one... yeah, stuff happens. i dunno, just listen. i kind of need to lie down for a while. at least i have some funnel cake. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Sorceress: Alexandra Rowland Perfuma: Meganbob Prince Adam/He-Man: Kris Newton
2020-12-1527 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E23 - Mulch Ado About Mulchinghey y'all. don't let the fact that skeletor still didn't have time to write a description throw you off, this is a totally normal episode of the show. yup, we talk about tons of plants in this one. so many plants. maybe too many plants? i guess that's up to you. but yup, we cover... moss? and mulch? we definitely don't take advantage of the fact that a certain podcast host is in way over his head to chat about personal drama in eternos. why would you even think that? Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley...
2020-12-0127 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E22 - The Birds and the Giant Anthropomorphic Beehey guys, riley here. this episode has less than the usual amount of plant stuff because skeletor's been pretty busy. i'm not sure what he's busy with though. he said "feasibility study" and i tuned out. king stuff, i guess? also, and i cannot stress this enough, do not listen to the end of this episode. definitely don't let kids listen. are kids listening to this? kids, if you're listening to this uhh, eat your vegetables. that's a thing adults say. seriously though, the ending went some places and i was unwilling to listen to it again to edit it...
2020-11-1527 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E21 - Garden Plots with KING Skeletor!NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Queen Marlena: Claire Mulkerin Prince Adam/He-Man: Kris Newton King Randor: Matty Cardarople
2020-11-0132 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E20 - Ghost LegsBE SURE THAT YOU HAVE PUT YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER, BECAUSE YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE THE SPOOKY EXPERIENCE THAT IS EPISODE 20! OF COURSE, WHEN YOU ARE AS INHERENTLY TERRIFYING AS I AM, ALL YOUR WORKS CARRY A CERTAIN SPOOK FACTOR TO THEM, AND THIS EPISODE IS NO DIFFERENT REGARDLESS OF A CERTAIN HOLIDAY! AFTER DEMONSTRATING MY UNQUESTIONABLE GRASP ON YOUTH SPEAK, WE COVER THE PRACTICALITIES OF HARVESTING AND STORING YOUR VEGETABLE YIELDS! WE DISCOVER DISTURBING NEW LEVELS OF BEAST MAN'S INCOMPETENCE! WE DISCUSS THE CARE OF THE PAINFULLY MORTAL BROMELIAD! AND IF YOU LISTEN WITH AN ATTENTIVE EAR, YOU...
2020-10-1527 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E19 - War OfferingYOU CANNOT RESIST THE UNIMAGINABLE FORCE AND MAJESTY OF EPISODE NINETEEN! YES, I REALIZE THAT LAST EPISODE WAS SOMEWHAT ATYPICAL OF THIS SHOW, BUT *THIS* EPISODE... IS ALSO SOMEWHAT ATYPICAL! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT! THIS IS MY SHOW AND SOMETIMES THINGS THAT SEEM OFF-TOPIC AND UNUSUAL ARE SIMPLY PART OF A GREATER PLAN! AND SOMETIMES LINGERING ISSUES NEED TO BE ADDRESSED! ISSUES LIKE MINION-BASED BETRAYAL, LINGERING OBNOXIOUS HOUSEGUESTS, THE AFTERMATH OF EXCESSIVE IMBIBING, AND... PERHAPS... FEELINGS THAT SLIGHTLY RESEMBLE REMORSE IF, YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK AT THEM IN AN OBJECTIVELY INCORRECT WAY! DO NOT SEEK TO COMPREHEND THE VAST...
2020-10-0131 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E18 - The Drunkeningugh, i can't even with this. it's like, i get why he's mad, but he has no idea why *i'm* mad? not even a little bit? what a jerk. you know what, i'm glad uncle hordak is still around. at least then they can be jerks at each other some of the time instead of at me all the time. i guess i should probably write something about this episode. i dunno, skeletor talks about cilantro for a bit and how much it sucks. then he and uncle hordak try a drink submitted by a listener and...
2020-09-1531 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E17 - The Worst HouseguestBEG ALL YOU WANT, PLEAD ALL YOU LIKE, IT WILL DO YOU NO GOOD AGAINST THE BOUNDLESS FURY OF EPISODE SEVENTEEN! ALL YOU WOULD-BE CULTIVATORS OF AQUATIC PLANTS CAN THROW YOURSELVES AT MY FEET IN BREATHLESS GRATITUDE, FOR IT IS IN THIS EPISODE THAT WE DISCUSS WATER GARDENS! MER-MAN, MY MOST MOIST OF MINIONS, JOINS ME ON THE MIC AND SHARES BOTH INSIGHT INTO THE BENEFITS OF WATER GARDENS, AND THE OCCASIONAL TANGENT INTO HIS OWN DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR! A PITY, REALLY, THAT THIS EPISODE'S WISDOM IS SO TAINTED BY A CERTAIN BOORISH BAT-THEMED HOUSEGUEST FROM ETHERIA WHO SHALL...
2020-09-0123 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E16 - Betrayal at Snake MountainIF YOU NEED PROOF OF THE EXISTENCE OF A HIGHER BEING THAN YOURSELF, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN EPISODE 16! AND THERE ARE CERTAIN MINIONS AROUND SNAKE MOUNTAIN THAT WOULD DO WELL TO REMEMBER THAT THEY, TOO, ARE BEING WATCHED BY A HIGHER POWER... ONE THAT SEES ALL, KNOWS ALL, AND IS EAGER TO DOLE OUT WELL-DESERVED PUNISHMENT! BUT THAT COMES LATER! FIRST WE GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT TREACHEROUS PLANTS LIKE THE SUNDEW! WE SPEAK OF THE BETRAYAL THAT MAY SPRING UP IN YOUR OWN GARDEN, BE IT DISEASE OR INCOMPETENT MINIONS! WE ARE PESTERED THROUGHOUT BY THE MOST IRRITATING HOUSEGUEST...
2020-08-1522 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E15 - Pothos and DramaBANISH FROM YOUR PUNY MINDS ANY MISCONCEPTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO ESCAPE FROM THE TERRIFYING POWER OF EPISODE 15--I ASSURE YOU, YOU CANNOT! AFTER BRIEFLY INDULGING ALL OF YOU WITH DARING TALES OF MY ESCAPE FROM ETERNIAN PRISON, I INDULGE YOU EVEN FURTHER BY ANSWERING YOUR INANE QUESTIONS ON-AIR! WE DISCUSS MY SHOPPING PREFERENCES! WE MENTION HOW YOU CAN APPLY FOR A MINION POSITION AT SNAKE MOUNTAIN! I EXPLAIN WHY MORNING IS NOT ONLY THE BEST PART OF THE DAY, BUT THE ONLY GOOD PART OF THE DAY! THESE AND...
2020-08-0124 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E14 - Garden Plots Without Skeletorsup y'all, it's riley again. yeah, skeletor was still locked up for this episode, but i wasn't gonna get arrested by trying to bring the recording equipment back to his cell, so i figured i'd just wing it this week. turns out though, a lot of skeletor's minions actually have a lot to say when a certain someone isn't screaming at them constantly. evil-lyn talks about her ambitions. beast man gives his advice on the best plants to chew. mer-man reveals his surprisingly impressive credentials. whiplash honestly kind of blows my mind with his really stupid philosophy. trap jaw...
2020-07-1532 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E13 - Eternian Prison Blueshey fam, riley here, and you know what that means. yup, skeletor couldn't write the description for this ep. turns out eternia has some pretty strict laws when it comes to, you know, trying to conquer the world or whatever, so he's not exactly in a position to make it to the usual recording studio, if you know what i mean. we do what we can, though. we still manage to talk about... uh, moss, i think? and something about orchids? honestly tho, a lot of this episode is a bit of a blur to me because we had...
2020-07-0123 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E12 - A Plan That Will SucceedENJOY WHAT REMAINS OF YOUR PITIFUL STATUS QUO, FOR EPISODE TWELVE HAS ARRIVED TO SMASH ALL OF YOUR PRECONCEPTIONS! AFTER RILEY WASTES ALL OF OUR TIME BY REFUSING TO ADMIT TO HER OWN GARDENING INCOMPETENCE, WE GET INTO THE EPISODE PROPER BY SPEAKING ABOUT MONSTERAS! WE INTERROGATE THE MARIGOLD AND ITS POSSIBLE BEAST MAN-KILLING PROPERTIES! WE SPEAK OF THE USES OF INSECT MINIONS IN YOUR GARDEN DURING FERAL FOLIAGE! I BLESS A DANGEROUSLY IGNORANT LISTENER WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF ALOE CARE DURING LEAF IT TO ME! AND WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TALKING ABOUT MY PEACE LILY?! WHAT YOU SHOULD...
2020-06-1517 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E11 - Not About Posteriors! REMEMBER WELL THIS DAY, FOR THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU EXPERIENCED THE UNPARALLELED EPISODE ELEVEN! AND THIS IS AN ESPECIALLY INSTRUCTIVE EPISODE ABOUT WHY IT IS UNWISE TO CROSS OR DISAPPOINT ME! WE START WITH TALKING ABOUT HOW TO SELECT, AND THEN STEAL, PLANTS FROM LOCAL NURSERIES! BUT THAT DISCUSSION IS CUT WOEFULLY SHORT--BECAUSE OF SOME BUNGLING FROM AN ESPECIALLY INCOMPETENT MINION, WE ARE FORCED TO REVIEW THE LETHALITY OF CERTAIN TYPES OF PLANTS! AND SPEAKING OF WOEFUL INCOMPETENCE, WHAT WOULD HAVE OTHERWISE BEEN AN INSTRUCTIVE DISCUSSION ON HOME VEGETABLE GROWTH TURNS INTO A PARADE OF IDIOCY THANKS TO...
2020-06-0117 minGarden Plots with SkeletorS1E10 - Skeletor's Top Ten Top TenYOU MAY COMMENCE THANKING ME PROFUSELY FOR THE GLORY AND WONDER OF EPISODE TEN! AND FRANKLY, I EXPECT A LOT MORE GRATITUDE IN GENERAL GIVEN THE AMOUNT OF WISDOM AND GUIDANCE I PROVIDE FOR YOU PEOPLE ON A REGULAR BASIS! SINCE I HAVE NOW PROVIDED YOU WITH TEN FULL EPISODES OF SAID WISDOM AND GUIDANCE, IN FACT, I HAVE DECIDED TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE A GLIMPSE INTO MY INNER LIFE WITH ALL OF YOU! CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THE DEPTHS OF MY GENEROSITY?! I POSIT THAT YOU CANNOT! LISTEN, AND HAVE YOUR WORLDVIEW FOREVER CHANGED BY THE...
2020-05-1520 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E09 - Not a Date JUST AS THE DARKEST OF PROPHECIES PREDICTED, EPISODE NINE HAS ARRIVED IN ALL ITS HORRIFYING GLORY! PREPARE, IF YOU CAN, FOR AN ESPECIALLY EDUCATIONAL FERAL FOLIAGE SEGMENT ON THE DASTARDLY DANDELION! STEEL YOURSELVES FOR MY SAGE WISDOM ON SELECTING TRANSPLANT SEEDLINGS! TRY NOT TO BE OVERCOME BY AWE AS I ADVISE A LISTENER ON DEALING WITH UNWANTED HERBIVOROUS PESTS! AND... LOOK, LISTENERS, I'VE ONLY EVER WANTED THIS SHOW TO BE ABOUT GARDENING, BUT TWO OF MY MINIONS HAVE DECIDED TO DRAG MY PERSONAL LIFE INTO THE SPOTLIGHT! AGGRAVATING AS THIS IS, THEIR UNPROFESSIONAL QUESTIONING ACTUALLY LEADS TO SOME HIGH-QUALITY DISCUSSION...
2020-05-0121 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E08 - Flowers for SkeletorYOU MAY HAVE PRAYED FOR DELIVERANCE FROM EPISODE EIGHT, BUT THOSE PRAYERS HAVE FALLEN ON DEAF EARS! IN THIS EPISODE, I MAGNANIMOUSLY SHARE MY PRECIOUS AIRTIME WITH A GUEST, ONE WHO BRINGS AN... UNCONVENTIONAL VIEW OF PLANTS WITH HER! SHE AND I (REALLY JUST ME) HELP MY SOUND MINION RILEY WITH HER LAUGHABLY REMEDIAL BIOLOGY HOMEWORK! WE TRY AN OFFERING OF LIBATIONS GIVEN TO US BY A LISTENER! AND NOW I MUST LEAVE YOU, FOR THE GLORY OF MY MIDNIGHT GARDEN AWAITS... A GLORY SOON TO BE OVERSHADOWED ONCE ETERNIA ITSELF BECOMES MY GARDEN! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast:...
2020-04-1520 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E07 - Skeletor Gets His Groove BackJUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE, EPISODE SEVEN LEAPS OUT FROM THE SHADOWS! AND DESPITE THE... BRIEF SETBACK OF LAST EPISODE, MY VILLAINY IS ONCE MORE IN FULL SWING THANKS TO AN INSPIRING NEW SECRET WEAPON IN MY ARSENAL OF EVIL! BE GLAD, THEN, THAT I HAVE CHOSEN ONLY TO BRING YOU PLANT KNOWLEDGE INSTEAD OF OUTRIGHT DESTRUCTION! THIS EPISODE TOUCHES ON THAT POWER-HUNGRY HERB KNOWN AS MINT! WE SPEAK OF THE DECEPTIVELY TREACHEROUS PEACE LILY, AS WELL AS THE OPENLY TOXIC POTHOS! I ONCE AGAIN ATTEMPT TO GRANT WISDOM TO MY MINIONS, TO NO AVAIL! A LISTENER...
2020-04-0117 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E06 - Skeletor's Loyal Bathrobehey, it's riley. skeletor didn't feel like doing one of these description things for this episode, so i guess i have to be the professional one. it's a whole thing, you'll see. anyway, we talk about finding dead plants in feral foliage. we see if swedish ivy will kill beast man. we take a question from a listener about watering their peace lily. but mostly it's mer-man going over the latest plot and explaining why skeletor's being so weird. like i said, you'll see. Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard
2020-03-1516 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E05 - Definitely Not Up to SomethingYOU CAN NEITHER RUN NOR HIDE FROM THE TERROR OF EPISODE FIVE! NOR SHOULD YOU WANT TO, UNLESS YOU FEAR QUALITY GARDENING KNOWLEDGE OFFERED IN A PLEASING AND FORCEFUL FASHION! I TALK ABOUT TRANSITIONING YOUR GARDEN AS THE WEATHER BEGINS TO CHANGE! WE TOUCH ON THE FEARSOME AND IMMORTAL TILLANDSIA AND ITS POTENTIAL LETHALITY REGARDING BEAST MAN! I GRACE YOUR IGNORANT EARS WITH PRICELESS KNOWLEDGE REGARDING CACTUS CARE! A LISTENER'S QUESTION PROMPTS AN IN-DEPTH DISCUSSION ABOUT MINIONS, OVERLORDS, AND ENEMIES IN THE PLANT KINGDOM! AND SPEAKING OF KINGDOMS, YOU'D ALL BETTER GET USED TO SEEING A CROWN ON THIS...
2020-03-0116 min
Smash FictionExtraordinary League 50 - The Show Must EndEveryone loves an encore, right? Book, music, and lyrics by Claire Mulkerin, with assistance from Miles Schneiderman, Kit Mulkerin, Dan Mulkerin, Liz Logan, and Meganbob.
2020-03-011h 26
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E04 - A Snake Mountain Valentine'sLOOK UPON EPISODE FOUR, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR! YES, I'M TALKING SPECIFICALLY TO YOU, HE-MAN! I GIFT YOU WITH A SLIVER OF MY VAST KNOWLEDGE OF PEAS! WE SPEAK OF THE RUBBER PLANT AND ITS ADMIRABLY DARK AESTHETIC! A LISTENER QUESTION PROMPTS AN UNCOMFORTABLE DISCUSSION WITH A MINION WHO, FRANKLY, NEEDS TO LEARN TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS! I ESTABLISH MY UNQUESTIONABLE SUPERIORITY OVER A PUNY HOLIDAY! AND THE FALL OF ETERNIA'S PITIFUL ROYAL FAMILY BECOMES EVER MORE AN INEVITABILITY! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Evil-Lyn: Marissa Bond
2020-02-1510 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E03 - Skeletor and That WordNOTHING IN YOUR PITIFUL MORTAL LIFE COULD HAVE PREPARED YOU FOR THE GRANDEUR OF EPISODE THREE! I INTRODUCE A MONUMENTAL NEW SEGMENT THAT WILL HAVE ALL OF ETERNIA TREMBLING AT MY FEET! I EXAMINE THE HIDDEN POWER OF THE OTHERWISE UNASSUMING SNOW DROP! I DEIGN TO SHARE WITH YOU THE SECRETS OF A SPECIALLY-MADE HOT BED! I EXPOUND UPON THE CORRECT WAY OF GROWING SAGE IN YOUR HOME! I RIGHTFULLY LAMBAST A BONE-HEADED LISTENER ABOUT LEAVING THE HEAT ON TOO HIGH! AND I DISCOVER ONE OF RILEY'S GREATEST WEAKNESSES, MUCH AS I SHALL SOON DISCOVER THE WEAKNESSES OF ALL...
2020-02-0112 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E02 - Skeletor Hates AllergiesBEHOLD, IF YOU DARE, THE MONSTROUS VISAGE OF EPISODE TWO! WE APPARENTLY NEED TO SPEND TIME TALKING ABOUT MY NEW SOUND MINION, BUT AFTER THAT WE MOVE ON TO DISCUSSING CARING FOR PLANTS IN WINTER! I CRUSH MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT GMOS AND HEIRLOOMS LIKE THE PATHETIC VERMIN THEY ARE! I UNFORTUNATELY FIND THE NEED TO EJECT A MEDDLING MINION FROM MY RECORDING LAIR! SPEAKING OF MEDDLING MINIONS, WE EXAMINE WHETHER PARLOR PALMS WILL KILL BEAST MAN! A LISTENER INQUIRES ABOUT PLANT DORMANCY! AND THE DAWN OF MY UNIVERSAL DOMINANCE DRAWS EVER NEARER! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin
2020-01-1513 min
Garden Plots with SkeletorS1E01 - Skeletor Starts a PodcastTREMBLE BEFORE THE TERRIFYING DEBUT OF GARDEN PLOTS WITH SKELETOR! AFTER A BRIEF AND FRANKLY UNNECESSARY INTRODUCTION OF YOURS TRULY, WE MOVE INTO AN EXAMINATION OF THE SNAKE PLANT AND HOW TO BEST KEEP IT ALIVE DESPITE YOUR CONSTANT BUNGLING! THERE IS A LISTENER QUESTION! WE EXAMINE WHETHER POINSETTIAS WILL KILL BEAST MAN! MER-MAN VALIDATES MY LONG-HELD OPINIONS! AND MY INEVITABLE CONQUEST OVER ETERNIA GROWS EVER-CLOSER BY THE DAY! NYAHAHAHAHA! Cast: Skeletor: Dan Mulkerin Riley: Kit Mulkerin Mer-Man: Nathaniel Hubbard
2020-01-0113 min
Smash FictionSurprise Party 12 - A Small Strike TeamIn the year 2183, a discovery is made that will shake interstellar society to its core and change the face of the galaxy forever. With the fate of humanity itself hanging in the balance, what we need now more than ever... is a group of seemingly random fictional characters! That's right, Surprise Party warps in for one last mission as we tackle the seminal sci-fi video game Mass Effect! Join us as characters from ThunderCats, Animorphs, Fire Emblem, and many other fictional properties load their M-8 Avengers, check the alignment on the Mako, and board the Normandy for a m...
2019-12-151h 16
Smash Fiction147 - Toph Beifong vs. Alex Louis Armstrong vs. TerraThe fourth and final Smash Fiction elemental free-for-all hits like an avalanche as three terrakinetics throw down for supremacy! The dragon Deathwing looks to celebrate his previous conquests and set the stage for his next glorious victory by staging a tournament of earth-users. Three magic portals later, he has his competitors: Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Alex Louis Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist, and Terra of the Teen Titans from DC Comics! Which dirt-flinging powerhouse will win the favor of Deathwing the Destroyer? And more importantly, can Claire, Dan, and Kit survive that most earth-shattering of thr...
2019-11-2455 min
Smash FictionSurprise Party 11 - That's What Friends Are ForThis podcast is contentious by nature, but if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that humans suck and animals are way cooler and more interesting in every way. At least, we all agree on that when Kit is running Surprise Party and everyone wants her to award them the most points! It's a jungle out there in Smash Metafiction, and when Claire, Liz, and Miles all find themselves in the care of a human dumpus who, while undeniably shitty, doesn't deserve to get torn apart by Shere Khan, it's up to them to gather a group...
2019-09-291h 17
Smash FictionCollaboratory 11 - 'Tis The Season (feat. Tim Mulkerin)Time to fire up the ol' bunsen burners again, because Claire, Kit, and Miles, joined for the first time in a long time by special guest Tim Mulkerin, are back in the lab to try and somehow stitch a compelling screenplay together with randomly selected characters and story elements drawn from existing works of fiction! But this time around, the group faces possibly their toughest challenge yet. Can they make a happy Christmas movie out of stuff from A Quiet Place and The Shining, with a set of characters that includes at least one professional wrestler? Do they even n...
2019-09-151h 17
Smash FictionSurprise Party 10 - Gotta Catch 'Em AllYou know, here on Smash Fiction, we're pretty open and honest with our fans. But that doesn't mean there aren't still some secrets we've been keeping close to the vest. Like the fact that three of our hosts are aspiring Pokémon trainers, for example. Not something we usually advertise. But it's true! Dan, Kit, and Claire have each caught and trained six fictional monsters (I mean, characters -- though at least three or four of them are also monsters) of varying types from across the multiverse, and are about to begin their greatest adventure yet! But be...
2019-08-181h 25
Smash Fiction4th Anniversary SpecialHey look, the anniversary episode is on time this year! Maybe we ARE improving! Join Claire, Dan, Kit, Liz, and Miles, with a special appearance from the vacationing MeganBob, as they celebrate four years of complete madness, inexplicably aided and abetted by all of you. Once again, the episode opens with a patented SmashFic Supercut (longer and more self-indulgent than ever!) followed by the hosts, as usual, attempting to answer more listener questions than they could possibly get to. And finally, the special ends with an important announcement about the future of Smash Fiction. Thank...
2019-08-011h 12
Smash Fiction139 - The Shadow vs. The Phantom vs. Darkman vs. Dick TracyThe villainous crime boss known as the Octopus has kept the citizens of Central City held tightly in an eight-tentacled grip of terror for a long time--perhaps too long a time, as it turns out, for the Octopus has drawn the attention of a quartet of dark and brooding heroes. All of them have designs on the Octopus and his criminal empire, but which will be the one to take this villain down? Will it be the evil-slamming Phantom, the mind-clouding Shadow, the strangely anachronistic Darkman, or the watch-having Dick Tracy? Tune to hear Kit cling to...
2019-07-2857 min
Smash Fiction131 - Agro vs. Epona vs. Shadowfax vs. Maximus (feat. Rafael Medina)Ever wonder what makes the Neverending Story so, well, never-ending? Well, it's largely because certain events just sort of keep happening over and over again, which explains why the unstoppable annihilating force called The Nothing has returned to creep across the land of Fantasia, erasing all in its path. Last time, a brave hero was given a horse to go rescue the Childlike Empress and save the land from destruction, but that horse didn't make it very far into the quest before it was lost and the hero had to go the rest of the way on f...
2019-03-241h 00
Smash Fiction130 - Xena vs. She-Ra vs. Cassandra PentaghastJudge Miles invites us all in to take a seat and tune in to the championship of High Fantasy TV Show Character Mania! Open up the chips and pass the guacamole because it's a triple-threat match of sword ladies! From the land of historical inaccuracy and 90's special effects comes Xena, a mighty warrior princess forged in the heat of battle. Will her courage change the world, as the opening narration of the TV show promised? Hailing from the land of awesome remakes that fill our hearts with joy is She-Ra. Can she focus on the match, or w...
2019-03-1059 min
Smash FictionCollaboratory 7 - IndestructibleIt's time once again for Collaboratory, where four Smash Fic hosts attempt to cobble together a semi-coherent film using random characters and story elements! This week, Claire is joined by Dan, Kit, and Liz, who have the unenviable task of attempting to craft a tale around a little girl, a cat, a dragon, and a serial killer, all while using elements from stories like Chronicles of Riddick, Jingle All the Way, and 1984. The hosts end up with a pile of really incongruous stuff, and end up making... something that actually kind of works? Listen and judge for you...
2019-01-201h 01
Smash Fiction125 - Ben Sanderson vs. Dave Spritz vs. Ronny Cammareri vs. (Fictional) Charlie KaufmanIt's that time again, listeners -- the most wonderful time of the year, you might say. Another glorious Cagemas is upon us, and as always, we're celebrating the numerous career deaths and resurrections of Hollywood's most inscrutable actor with the fourth annual Smash Fiction Cage Match! This year's contest features the strangest and least physically gifted lineup yet, as four completely mundane but thoroughly depressing Nicolas Cage characters compete for the World Sad Sack Championship! Does Dan have it in him to make real, actual jokes about Leaving Las Vegas and its self-destructive lead character, Ben Sanderson...
2018-12-231h 12
Smash FictionCollaboratory 6 - Final Flight: Legend of the Falcon FistSmash Metafiction Studios presents another mashed-together masterpiece, as the creative team that brought you "Don't You Forget About Me" returns to the lab for another round of gently bubbling brainstorms and flashes of brilliance buzzing with electric current! It's time, once again, for Collaboratory! In this episode, Claire, Kit, Miles, and MeganBob elucidate an epic tale of sword, sorcery, and science fiction, weaving a narrative that includes bird-themed superheroes, cat-like kaiju, magical destinies, and one of the original MacGuffins! What is the legend of the falcon fist?
2018-12-171h 06
Smash Fiction123 - Mojo Jojo vs. Gorilla Grodd vs. WinstonHypothetical: Assume that a mysterious, abandoned space station packed with advanced weapons and technology has suddenly entered Earth's orbit and is now floating there for the taking by any would-be world conqueror in the immediate vicinity. Assume, also, that you are an insane monkey inventor, or perhaps a telepathic ape supervillain. In either case, is there even a 1% chance you don't immediately steal a rocket ship and blast your way up there to lay claim to the alien spoils? Answer: No. No, there is not. Which is why the vehemently verbose Mojo Jojo and the master of...
2018-11-251h 03
Smash Fiction122 - Dr. Horrible vs. Count Olaf (feat. Brad Bultman)After a lifetime of work (and one particularly traumatic afternoon at the opening of a homeless shelter), Dr. Horrible has finally secured a position in the unholy halls of the Evil League of Evil... which means that it's all the more perplexing when he shows up at his induction ceremony only to find another Dr. Horrible seated at the table! Turns out that Count Olaf, villainous master of disguise, has temporarily suspended his pursuit of the Baudelaire orphans and is angling for his own spot in the Evil League of Evil... and he doesn't care if the spot he...
2018-11-1159 min
Smash Fiction121 - Freddy Krueger vs. InceptionBoy, Dom Cobb and his crew of dream thieves certainly have their work cut out for them, don't they? Their expedition into the subconsciousness of Robert Fischer will throw all sorts of challenges at them: militarized projections, multiple dream levels, unwanted visits from Cobb's dead wife. The last thing these guys need right now is a murderous undead serial killer who turns dreams into charnelhouses. Oh wait, you mean Freddy Krueger IS there? Well shoot, NOW this story is getting interesting. Get on our level, Christoper Nolan. Listen in as Kit and Bob work to make "Frederick"...
2018-10-2850 min
Smash FictionSurprise Party 5 - Meddling KidsSteel yourself for the wildest Surprise Party yet as we tackle the now-seminal horror movie Cabin in the Woods! Our hosts form groups of hapless hormonal teenagers that very quickly find themselves in over their heads as they are pursued by dangerous creatures... and a mysterious organization. Will Kit's party of anime characters outdo Miles's party of super-obscure film characters? Will Claire ever get to see a merman? And will one of our hosts end up the victim of that most terrifying of monsters: the Double Dumpus?! Make some room on the edge of your seat--you'll need i...
2018-10-211h 07
Smash Fiction120 - Lucian vs. Angua von Uberwald vs. John Talbain vs. Scott HowardThe third annual Smashtoberfest kicks off with a growl and a howl as four fuzzy fighters fling themselves into a ferocious fracas filled with flying fur, fearsome fangs, and of course, the full moon! Yes, it’s the werewolf war we’ve all been waiting for, a bestial battle between the most legendary of lycanthropes — or at least, our favorites! Lucian, the lycan lord of the Underworld who morphs into a horndog far more often than once per month; Angua von Uberwald, sexy-but-deadly scourge of Discworld criminals; John Talbain, Darkstalkers’ token werewolf/demon/dragon/kung-fu master/sorcerer; and Scott Howard...
2018-10-141h 12
Smash FictionCollaboratory 5 - A Wolf in Cheap ClothingReturn to the lab with us this week as Claire, Dan, Kit, and Meganbob attempt to build a coherent story out of random characters and plot elements! Things get wild quickly as the core cast includes a woman who's a wolf, a man who's an owl, and a cat who's a people. Mix in story elements from Star Wars, Image Comics, Oscar Wilde, and obscure Australian westerns, and you end up with a tale of adventure, deception, intrigue, and... contact juggling? Seriously, this one is really weird.
2018-09-3058 min
Smash FictionSeptember 2018 Bonus Content - "Our League Family"This episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for September 2018. The original description follows: Thank you to everyone for allowing me to finally use one of my two ukuleles and a harmonica in an actual meaningful context. This song truly is a tribute to my fellow podcasters in how much I enjoy playing League with them and how interesting it can be solving problems with characters who approach things very differently. This song is also a great way for me to ask for Kit's forgiveness regarding a certain episode (listen to Surprise Party 3, you'll understand).
2018-09-3003 min
Smash Fiction118 - Milo and Otis vs. Homeward Bound (feat. Brad Bultman)It's once again time for hackles to rise, fur to fly, and Kit to get unreasonably excited about animals as Smash Fiction goes on its very own incredible journey! Cruella DeVille is in the market for some new formal attire and has gotten her evil hands on five of the most iconic cats and dogs of 80s and 90s kids movies. However, thanks in part to the blundering of Cruella's credulous cronies, Horace and Jasper, our adorable fluffy heroes have managed to escape, and now face a daunting challenge -- surviving the perils and pitfalls of the English wilderness...
2018-09-0959 min
Smash FictionCollaboratory 4 - Semi-SweetIt's ladies' night down in the lab this week on Smash Metafiction as Claire, Kit, Liz, and Meganbob put their heads together to create a story of mystery, superpowers, and romance unlike any other! An aristocrat, a warrior, a rockstar, and a spirit of mischief come together unexpectedly in a tale of intrigue. Join us for a film that dares to tackle the real questions, like: Just how jacked can a mutated squirrel get? What's the best way to come out to your friends, family, and YouTube followers about your slime-based powers? And which Pokémon's poop m...
2018-08-191h 18
Smash Fiction3rd Anniversary SpecialWell, once again, the Anniversary special is being released a day late, so it's pretty clear that the Smash Fiction Podcast is STILL not getting any better (if anything, based on the matches that have made up the majority of our third year, it's just getting...weird). And yet, here you all are, continuing to listen to this dumb show of ours. We can't thank you enough for that. Really. As a token of our appreciation, please enjoy an hour of Miles, Claire, Kit, Liz, MeganBob, and Dan answering listener questions that touch on such topics as...
2018-08-0258 min
Smash FictionShip Wrecked 2 - Heelies, Hockey, and Heavy RainShip Wrecked is back for a second date, and if you thought dinner was fun, wait till you hear about romantic thrift store shopping! The latest edition of Smash Metafiction's spectacular speed dating game features different characters, new locations, and of course, more wrinkles, as we attempt to find a fictional couple deserving of the title of OTP! Is there a chance these ships are seaworthy, or is the love between, say, 1000-year-old supernatural monsters and shape-changing teenage alien warriors forever destined to fail? Also, Claire continues her relentlessly punny ways, Kit brings a knife to a...
2018-07-221h 10
Smash FictionApril 2018 Bonus Content - Itchy Brains 2: "The Shape of Water" and Ethical EroticaThis episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for April 2018. The original description follows: It's that time again. Instead of Smash Fiction's usual brand of yelling and making lowbrow dick jokes, Itchy Brains is a time for having deep philosophical conversations about art and making highbrow dick jokes. This time I'm joined by MeganBob and Kit, and we're experimenting with the format a bit: whereas last time we centered our discussion around a single topic, this time we're centering it on a single work of art, "The Shape of Water." How does "Shape of...
2018-04-3052 min
Smash FictionSurprise Party 2 - A Few HopesSurprise Party is back, and just in time, because it's a period of civil war and somebody needs to blow up that damn Death Star! Of course, it won't be Princess Leia and her friends on any mercy mission this time -- several fictional characters were beamed to this podcast by Smash Fiction hosts. Claire, Kit, and MeganBob have constructed three parties of new New Hopes, and with Dan as their high-minded Force ghost guide, they will compete in a series of scored contests to see who will be the first to shit-talk Grand Moff Tarkin, move along a...
2018-04-1559 min
Smash FictionCollaboratory 2 - Don't You Forget About MeSmash Metafiction presents the second episode of Collaboratory, in which Claire Mulkerin guides three other Smash Fiction hosts through a collaborative storytelling process using the characters, settings, genres, goals, and MacGuffins they each independently brought to the table, stitched together via the screenwriting steps and structure from the book Save The Cat! In this sophomore effort, a few similarities between story elements don't make things any less fun, as super-strong teenagers hang out in bell towers, Kit combines her greatest fear with her affection for popular '80s music, and Miles enters the lab for the first time...
2018-03-181h 03
The Math of YouEpisode 071 - Animorphs, Soul Calibur and the Falcon Shed, feat. Kit MulkerinZookeeper, podcaster and co-host of the Smash Fiction podcast Kit Mulkerin is here to talk about Animorphs and Soul Calibur. Along the way, we discuss taking the powers of New Jersey into yourself, the superpower of being famous, and the realities of a Fallout Boy mosh pit.Signature Cocktail: Cosmic CastawayPart Mai Tai, part Margarita, part Pina Colada, all good. Behold this beverage, truly worthy of the King of Bob.2oz tequila1/2oz lime juice1/2oz triple sec1/4oz coconut syrup1/4oz simple syrup
2018-02-211h 02
Smash Fiction99 - Prince Zuko vs. Firestar vs. Roy Mustang vs. Chandra NalaarQuestion: For about an hour, why was the Fire Princess' kingdom Armageddon? Answer: THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT! Four fire-themed characters turn up the heat on one another and the advocates deliver some burns of their own in an appropriately aggressive elemental contest. Will Zuko's fire-bending and general moodiness make him a Smash Fiction avatar? Will Kit's tendency to get SUPER close to the mic when she's angry help her defend her beloved Roy Mustang? Will Chandra Nalaar use her interplanar wizardry and her incredible collection of quotes to burn her enemies to ash? Or will...
2017-12-171h 04
Smash FictionOctober 2017 Bonus Content - Itchy Brains: Unanswered QuestionsThis episode originally aired as the Patreon bonus episode for October 2017. The original description follows: Hey folks. This month our bonus content is gonna be part of a possible series that I'm calling "Itchy Brains," where for once in our miserable lives, we yell a little less and think a little more. Each episode, we address some sort of concept in creativity by discussing how it has been applied for good or for ill in your favorite art, then guess what! We also talk about how the principles that we discuss can be used when you make...
2017-10-3138 min
Smash FictionSpaaace JAM!This episode originally aired on Patreon as a public bonus episode in September 2017. The original description follows: During some behind-the-scenes silliness, Space Jam came up in a random discussion (because of course it did). Kit requested that Miles isolate this clip of Liz and Bob's combined awesomeness to turn into an alert tone for her phone. Miles did the thing. And it was good. Now we leave it here for all to enjoy and use for whatever space and hoop needs you may have.
2017-09-1900 min
Smash Fiction58 - The Incredibles vs. Big Hero 6 (feat. Brad Bultman)He may have spun off into his own solo series, but Colin "Stormtongue" Mulkerin is always up for a good old nostalgic crossover! Bringing with him the intrepid Brad Bultman, Colin returns to Smash Fiction to answer another of the most important questions: When Bob, Helen, Dash, and Violet Parr, collectively known as the Incredibles (along with their friend, Frozone), find themselves in the city of San Fransokyo during a massive prison break, what will happen when they get into the inevitable "each team thinks the other team are supervillains" fight with Hiro Hamada, Baymax, Honey Lemon, GoGo, Wasabi...
2016-12-1156 min
Smash Fiction31.5 - Dan vs. Colin (feat. Tim Mulkerin)Bet you folks didn't see this coming! Smash Fiction's April Fool's Day bonus episode is the shortest, craziest, most self-indulgent show yet! Who will prevail in this Battle of Mulkerins (featuring the return of the great and terrible Tim Mulkerin) as Dan and Colin duke it out in paranoid cabin fever combat to determine which brother has the most talent, the best strategy, and the coolest hair? How far can Liz push the limits of the Lightning Round? Would you rather fight fifty duck-sized Hulk Hogans or one Hulk Hogan-sized duck? All these questions and more will be answered...
2016-04-0131 min
Smash Fiction23 - Aang vs. Captain Planet (feat. Tim Mulkerin)It's an environmentalist battle of the four (Five? Four and a half?) elements as Gaia's pun-slinging, green-mulleted global defender, Captain Planet, clashes with the fun-loving, arrow-tattooed Last Airbender himself, Aang (because apparently Colin thinks it's Earth Day). Insults are hurled like trees in a hurricane, specious claims are made like a climate change denier on speed, and of course, it's all just a big misunderstanding. Featuring special guest host Tim Mulkerin, as well as an unexpected final segment that rapidly descents into utter madness. You know, as usual.
2016-01-1750 min
Smash FictionExtraordinary League 0 - Introducing the LeagueWelcome to an actual-play RPG podcast, Smash Fiction style! Our planned offering for this week, Geralt vs. Link had to be moved to next week due to a scheduling conflict, but we've been waiting for the opportunity to share Extraordinary League with the world! Dan Mulkerin GMs a home-brewed version of the 1980s Marvel Superheroes RPG, featuring a party of existing fictional characters. In this episode, Kit, Liz, Miles, and Colin debate which characters they want to try and bring to life, while once again answering some of the most important questions. Is there anything Mordin Solus can't do...
2015-11-2336 min
Smash Fiction12 - Maleficent vs. The Wicked Witch of the West (feat. Tim Mulkerin)The two most famously scorned and slandered spell-slingers in the history of black magic are up to their old tricks again. After being snubbed out of a party invitation, Maleficent and the Wicked Witch of the West decide to throw a couple parties of their own. The only catch is that they don't plan on letting any of the guests reach their castles alive! Will Maleficent's wall of thorns and draconic shape-shifting be enough to keep out the most would-be revelers, or will the Wicked Witch's flying monkeys and fields of poppies be more effective? Special guest Tim Mulkerin...
2015-10-1848 min