Shows
Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early061: Josie shares her raw feelings about returning home early due to a difficult adjustment and stress hivesAt the time of this recording, Josie had been home from her mission for only eight months. Her feelings are raw and poignant as she shares the ups and downs of her mission. She struggled adjusting to mission life and would frequently call her mom to connect and feel better (which wasn't allowed). She developed chronic stress hives and frequently felt like she wasn't a successful missionary despite all the service she was doing. Josie eventually decided to go home which was another adjustment for her. She suffered from some PTSD and had a hard time with church and...
2023-07-2349 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early060: Amanda shares her story of hope and healing after having her leg amputated below the knee after getting hit by a car on her missionAmanda Evergreen--also known as the One-Footed Phoenix--joined me to share her story of hope and healing after having her leg amputated below the knee after getting hit by a car on her mission. Amanda walks me through her struggles with mental illness on her mission before getting hit by the car, the negative response she received while on her mission when she couldn't continue to work, and then a 3.5 year struggle with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome before the decision to amputate was made. Amanda spent some time very, very angry with God for letting this happen and wondering why...
2023-07-0939 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early059: Cody shares his story of healing from narcissistic abuse while on his missionCody endured bullying in childhood and in his teenage years at school and at church. Despite this, he has a deep love for the gospel and still desired to serve a mission. He served in the south and it was a very difficult mission--not only because he was serving in the Bible belt of America, but because he dealt with narcissistic abuse from many that he worked with. He was sent home after dealing with a lot of gaslighting, fear tactics, and demands of "perfect obedience."Upon returning home, Cody felt like a failure and began also...
2023-06-251h 00Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early058: Edina shares her story of returning home early to help her mom with depressionEdina lives in Hungary and was 27 years old when she joined the church. Eight years later, at the age of 35, she decided to serve a mission. It was not an easy decision for her, but she chose to do it because of her love and trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. After a short time, she returned early because her mother was very depressed. She chose to come home to help her mom. Mental health is not well understood in Hungary (or anywhere, really), and she had a hard time finding support. She began to struggle w...
2023-06-1137 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early057: Brady shares his story of returning home early due to anxiety and depressionHaving been born and raised in the church, Brady was excited to serve a mission. He had a bit of anxiety in the beginning as he adjusted to Brazilian culture and the language. After he became a district leader, his anxiety increased quite a bit and depression came along for the ride. It was so confusing and frustrating to sort out what was happening to him. He had a great mission president, but unfortunately some other missionaries said some hurtful and unhelpful things. Upon returning home early, he visited with therapists and doctors (for medication) and continued to try...
2023-05-2844 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early056: Wallis shares her story of returning home early to her dad declining from ALS after suffering from depression and self-harming on her missionWallis served for four months in Calgary before coming home due to depression and self-harming. She had an amazing support group--including her companions, mission president, and parents (so if you fit any of these categories and want to know how to help your missionary, this is a GREAT episode for you!), but also came home to a heartbreaking situation with her dad being newly diagnosed with ALS. Wallis walks us through her journey of depression, self-harm, adjusting to her dad's declining state and eventual passing, all while trying to care for herself and keeping her faith strong. She talks...
2023-04-3048 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early055: Haley shares her story of choosing to return home after four weeks due to physical illnessHaley served for a total of four weeks--three in the MTC and one in the field--before choosing to return home early due to physical illness. While she had support at home, Haley still struggled with feelings of shame and loss, as well as anger towards God. In this episode she tells me her story of repairing her relationship with God, owning her decision to come home early, and working through the emotions of an early return. She also talks about how she recognized that returning to the field was not the right decision for her. This is a great...
2023-03-2636 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early054: Psychologist and Life Coach, Cortland Watson, discusses the psychological and emotional aspects involved in returning home early from a missionPsychologist and Life Coach, Cortland Watson, joined me on the podcast to discuss many of the psychological and emotional aspects involved in returning home early from a mission. Using personal stories and insights from his life, his career, and his education, Cortland guides the listener through learning more about emotions, identity, expectations, failure, shame, growth vs. fixed mindset, and so much more. He offers strategies for moving forward in life with connection. Cortland also addresses those struggling with abuse from others due to an early return and those contemplating suicide. This is an amazing episode for anyone struggling with r...
2023-03-0557 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early053: Meg shares her story of deep depression due to hiding her sexuality and experiencing chronic painMeg returned home early after three months of service in Fresno, California. She spiraled into a deep depression due to hiding her sexuality and experiencing chronic pain. Her mission president and his wife did the best with the information that they had but left her with trauma because they didn’t understand how to address mental health. In this episode, Meg talks about her journey of self-acceptance, better understanding the Atonement, helping others on their journeys, and the importance of better mental health trainings for leaders. My editor, Brandon Kellogg, is great! If you are looking for an...
2023-02-2638 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early052: Nicholas shares his story of returning home early due to trauma caused by abuse from a memberGrowing up in the church, Nicholas never knew if the gospel was for him and he struggled to go to church because of his anxiety and lack of desire. After receiving his patriarchal blessing, and being amazed by the things stated in his blessing, he developed a testimony of the church and decided for himself to serve a mission. He served in Denver, Colorado but soon suffered from pain and verbal abuse, which caused him to suffer from mental health issues. He also suffered some verbal abuse from his mission president, which he was later able to confront his...
2022-05-0142 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early051: Brandon's story of serving at the Utah Salt Lake Headquarters mission after a short call to a proselyting mission endedBrandon was about to attempt suicide when the thought came to his mind to "Give God one more chance." Brandon decided to act on that thought and prayed mightily. This decision to pause and act on a prompting began his long journey of repenting of past transgressions and resolving his concerns with the church. Brandon wanted to serve a mission, but he wanted to do it right, and make sure all things were resolved before he went and served--both his former transgressions and his faith crisis--which took a few years. After this time passed, he received a c...
2022-03-041h 00Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early050: A chat with author Destiny Yarbro who returned home early twice for physical and mental health reasons, and now helps early-returned missionaries all over the worldDestiny Yarbro returned home early twice. The first time she returned home early from the MTC for physical health reasons. The second time, she went to the mission field and then returned early for mental health reasons. She not only felt like she had failed the Lord upon this second return, but she truly felt like she had committed a transgression (even though she hadn't) because the Lord didn't heal her and so must not want her in the field anymore. Destiny experienced a chronic illness where she had to lay horizontally for months on end. This w...
2022-01-0244 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early049: Addie shares the many emotional, mental, and physical health trials she experienced on her mission before ultimately being sent home due to COVID-19Addie had always desired to serve a mission and when her call came, she was excited to go! However, a few months into her mission, she was emotionally abused by her companion and housemates. It was a very isolating experience for her. She also began having some physical health problems due to allergies. And, to top it off, she suffered a lot from OCD as well. Despite these things, Addie did manage to continue on until the COVID-19 pandemic struck and she was sent home along with thousands of other missionaries. She talks about her struggles on the mission...
2021-12-1944 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early048: Jackson shares his story of returning from his mission early twice for physical health reasonsIn this episode, Jackson shares his story of returning home early twice. The first time, he served for eight months before physical health problems required that he come home. The second time, he served for seven months (in the same mission) before a different set of physical health struggles struck him and he again needed to return home early. Through all of this, Jackson had an amazing support system who helped him to talk kindly to himself and put things in their proper perspective. He tells me why he chose to stay home the second time, takeaways he learned...
2021-12-0539 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early047: Jacob shares his story of returning home early for physical health reasons, dealing with judgement, and ceasing his habit of seeking validation from others.Jacob started his mission journey long before he even got his mission call. Overweight and insecure, Jacob decided to make some changes. He got into body-building and realized it was a way from him to grow and push himself. He decided to apply this new mentality to all areas of his life, including spirituality, and eventually decided to serve a mission. However, as soon as he arrived in his mission, he began experiencing breathing problems, possibly due to the recurrence of a childhood illness, and then later had a hard time swallowing. He managed to stay for s...
2021-11-2136 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early046: Violet tells her story of returning home early due to depression and anxiety and then serving a service mission in the San Jose areaViolet was born deaf and wears two cochlear implants. She served a mission to Washington D.C. speaking ASL. She came home early due to depression and anxiety after much consideration, prayer, and counseling with her mission president. She later served a service mission in her hometown area of San Jose. She shares with me her strong testimony and faith in God despite her trials (including the depression and anxiety that still plague her). She is a bright beacon of hope for anyone else struggling to know how to get through the dark night of depression.Finding...
2021-11-0745 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early045: Summer shares her story of returning home early from the MTC due to depression and anxietyAfter a period of inactivity, Summer returned to church and began receiving promptings and dreams about serving a mission. She followed these promptings, but upon entering the MTC she developed terrible anxiety, including panic attacks, and depression. Her mental health became so bad that her physical health began to decline as well. She returned home from the MTC feeling confused and defeated. She soon discovered the reason for her early return though when she was able to help a friend embrace the gospel. Summer also talks to me about how she hears the Spirit and how that has helped...
2021-10-2438 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early044: Jake shares his story of growing up with cerebral palsy, becoming inactive, discovering himself as an LGBTQ+ individual, returning to church, serving a mission, and returning home early due to belated confessionJake was born with cerebral palsy and as a result was often excluded from activities as a youth in the church. As a result of this exclusion, and a falling out with a friend, Jake became inactive during his later teen and young adult years. He is part of the LGBTQ+ community and identifies most closely as queer. While he was away from the Church, Jake had a close brush with suicide and felt the Spirit tell him to "come home." Jake contacted the missionaries who helped reignite his testimony and desire to come back to church. Shortly after...
2021-08-0156 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early043: Kate returns home early due to emotional and physical abuse from companionsThroughout her childhood, Kate was emotionally and physically abused by her father, and then later by her stepmother. While on her mission, Kate experienced anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD. These mental health struggles were not understood by her companions and they became exasperated with her and abused her emotionally and even physically as well. This re-traumatized Kate and brought up a lot of PTSD. She was given a sedative to calm her, but eventually things came to a head and she decided to go home. Upon returning, Kate felt "broken, undignified, and like a complete failure." She transitioned to a...
2021-07-1853 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early042: Genisse's story of coming home early due to depression and anxiety and then returning to her missionGenisse is the first missionary I have spoken with who came home early due to mental health reasons and then returned to her mission. In this episode, she shares with me her journey of choosing to come home and then choosing to return which includes the ups and downs of therapy, moving forward with life during the 16 months she was home, keeping the desire to return to her mission alive, and going through the required process to return. She also shares what it was like to return to a mission, how she coped with her mental health upon her r...
2021-07-0427 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early041: Pascal Friedmann shares his story of returning home early due to severe thyroid dysfunctionIn this episode, Pascal tells me his story about returning home early due to a prolonged illness that started about a month after he arrived in the field. It was misdiagnosed as depression and homesickness, but turned out to be severe thyroid dysfunction. Pascal shares how he was ostracized by many in his ward back home in Germany and how that led to a period of inactivity because he felt like he didn't belong. When he moved to Utah for school, he felt like he was able to start over with the church and found fellowship and understanding. Pascal...
2021-06-2030 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early040: What is the "rest" of a mission like?There are so many questions that run through the mind of an early-returned missionary, not least of which is questions along the line of "What is the rest of a mission like? Specifically, what is the rest of a proselyting mission like?" To answer this question, and several others, I have invited five missionaries who completed the expected amount of time on their missions to come on the podcast and answer questions from those who needed to return home early. These are people I've talked to before, many times, about their missions, and I know they would give completely...
2021-06-061h 28Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early039: JT shares his experience of returning home early due to depressionJT had never experienced depression before his mission. He recalls being bullied in the MTC by his companions for six weeks before finding relief in the field before the depression got worse. He stopped feeling his emotions, had bad insomnia, and eventually suicidal thinking. Upon returning home, he felt like such a failure. He was very confused about what had happened to his mental health as he began to experience panic attacks. He saw a therapist which was helpful and also eventually got involved with Mission Fortify and became and early-returned missionary coach which helped his healing process immensely. A...
2021-05-2341 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early038: Richard Ostler, former YSA Bishop, shares what he has learned about helping those who feel marginalized in the ChurchIn this podcast episode, Richard Ostler (host of the podcast Listen, Learn, and Love) shares what he has learned about helping those who feel marginalized in the Church, including early-returned missionaries. Richard has served in multiple leadership positions, including as a YSA bishop for three years. Richard is also the parent of an early-returned missionary (due to COVID and OCD Scrupulosity) and shares his experience of going through that trial with his son. In addition to these things, Richard also shares what is challenging about leadership positions, gives good advice to those who return home early, as well as...
2021-05-0942 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early037: Synne returns home early due to perfectionism and self-harming and becomes the first service missionary in Norway and SwedenIn this episode, Synne shares her story of returning home early from her mission in France due to perfectionism, anxiety, depression, and self-harming. She felt like she had failed Heavenly Father and was devastated. However, because of her desire to continue serving, Synne immediately requested to become a service missionary upon returning home, even though there had never been a service missionary in Norway before. Synne persisted despite this and with the help of her leaders, she became the first service missionary in Norway and Sweden! Listen to Synne's story if you want to feel inspired and uplifted about h...
2021-04-2553 min
Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard OstlerEpisode 403: Kristen Reber, Author and Podcaster: Early Release MissionariesMy friend Kristen Reber (active LDS, married mother of three) joins us to talk about her early release from her mission 10 years ago. Kristen talks about the myriad of feelings that accompanied that experience including anger, pain, relief, and feelings of failure and frustrations with that experience. Several years after her early return, Kristen, realizing others are walking the same road, wrote a book and started a podcast on this subject (both are called Early Homecoming). Kristen has great insights to help others walking this road find hope for the future and belonging in our congregations.
Her book is available...
2021-04-2554 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early036: Sarah shares her story of experiencing covert abuse from a companion and her dad while also returning home early for physical health reasonsSarah was sent home during the COVID-19 pandemic because of physical health problems. She begged her mission president to stay, but he was concerned she wouldn't get the help she needed if an emergency happened and so after 15 months in the field, she went home. At the time, she was also experiencing covert abuse from her companion which brought up a PTSD response of abuse she had experienced from her dad. In this episode, she discusses that abuse, the trauma it inflicted, and what she has learned by going through this trial.
2021-04-1147 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early035: Josie shares her story of coming home early after 15 months due to stress, anxiety, and panic attacks, and going through a faith crisisIn this episode, Josie shares her story of coming home early after 15 months due to stress, anxiety, and panic attacks that increased in severity. Gospel activities triggered large amounts of anxiety for her, leaving her scared and confused, and she began to abandon the truths she had always held dear. The gospel began to fuel her anxiety rather than soothe it. Through this trial, Josie is better able to help others who question their faith or leave the Church. Her testimony is stronger for having gone through her faith crisis, but she understands what it's like to be on t...
2021-03-2140 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early034: Tyler talks about his journey of intense anxiety, leaving the church, and returning to full activityTyler came home early due to intense anxiety and panic attacks after serving in the Spokane Washington Mission for 3 months. He actually loved being out on his mission, but his mind would not let him be stable. The experience of returning home early challenged his relationship with God and he left the church for a short time. He tells me that it was easier to think that God wasn't real at all. He has since returned to full activity and he talks to me about what happened to get him to where he is now--happy and even more deeply...
2021-03-0743 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early033: Ruby shares her story of extreme depression, self-harm, and suicidal thinkingRuby began struggling right from the get-go on her mission during at-at home MTC (due to COVID-19 restrictions). Her struggle soon turned into extreme depression and shortly after arriving in the field, she began to self-harm . She recalls feeling temporary relief upon cutting herself, but then felt guilt and like she wasn't worthy and had failed God and her assignment as a missionary by self-harming. The depression continued though and soon she found herself making a suicide plan. She was sent home and felt like there was something irreparably broken inside of her upon returning home early. She felt...
2021-02-2153 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early032: Jacob shares his story of returning home early due to belated confessionJacob had always wanted to serve a mission, but due to some mistakes made before he left, he was unworthy to go. He lied to himself constantly to convince himself that he was okay, which led to him serving for 9 months before the guilt became too much and he had a powerful experience that helped him to seek repentance. Upon returning home, he intended to repent and return to his mission, but life began happening again and he soon found himself committing the same sins. It wasn't until after a few more turning points that Jacob was finally able...
2021-02-0733 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early031: Elizabeth discusses returning home early due to OCD Scrupulosity and creating BeyondMyBadge.orgIn this episode, Elizabeth shares her struggle with OCD scrupulosity, which she describes best as "perfectionism." On her mission, Elizabeth was very focused on always doing things right (which caused her to constantly feel that she was doing things wrong.) This confusion led to her being very rigid and upset with her companions. She also felt unworthy to be a missionary because she wasn't perfect. After five months, she went home and began unpacking what had happened. As her healing began, she came to accept the Atonement and let it into her heart rather than feeling like its healing...
2020-07-1940 min
The Life of a Missionary Podcast#46 Kristen Reber-Philippines Iloilo MissionKristen is a fellow podcaster, and if you want to listen to her show, its called Early Homecoming.
This was a great episode and my first interview with someone who served in the Philippines.
2020-07-1353 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early030: Drew Young shares his experience of coming home early from the MTC due to mental health struggles and talks about how he has since found purpose in his life's missionDrew Young, author of the new book The Meaning of Your Mission: Lessons and Principles to Know You Are Enough, shares with me his experience of returning home early from the MTC due to mental health struggles. He walks me through his journey of navigating years of lonely nights and suicidal thoughts to ultimately writing his book and sharing his story, and what he learned from it, with the world. Join me in listening to Drew as he discusses principles such as progress vs. perfection, exact obedience vs. obedience, the reasons we need to be careful about prying into...
2020-07-0551 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early029: Lizzy tells her story of returning home early due to a dizziness that never stoppedIn this episode, Lizzy shares her story of returning home early due to a dizziness that never stopped. Many people around her thought that anxiety was the cause of the dizziness and she struggled to find someone who would listen to her and give her the help she needed. After two and a half years, she finally received a diagnosis and was able to get the surgery she needed and begin the path to physical healing. She shares with me the anger and frustration she felt at others, herself, and God during this time, but also the peace and...
2020-06-2137 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early028: Rian shares her story of returning home early due to toxic perfectionismIn this episode, Rian shares with me her story of returning home early due to toxic perfectionism, something that she didn't realize she struggled with until she was on her mission and her usual coping mechanisms were gone. She suffered from physical and mental symptoms of the perfectionism such as stomach aches, anxiety, and panic attacks. She often felt like a failure while on her mission and eventually realized she needed to return home to get the help she needed. Although she felt broken upon returning home early, Rian has learned a lot about managing her perfectionism and shares...
2020-06-0738 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early027: McKenzie discusses returning home early due to anxiety and homesicknessMcKenzie has struggled with anxiety for most of her life, but when the prompting came to serve a mission, she faithfully accepted the call to serve. While she loved several parts of missionary work, she continued to struggle with anxiety and often felt overwhelmed and tired. She struggled to sleep for five months and her mental and physical health took a toll before she decided to return home early. She came home to supportive parents and leaders and a little more than a year later is doing very well and is able to look at her mission experience healthily...
2020-05-2441 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early026: Bob and Elaine discuss, as parents, the effects of our culture on missionaries who return home earlyIn this episode, Bob and Elaine share their journey of navigating the culture of our Church that still surrounds missionaries who come home early as they experienced it with their son, who needed to return home early from the MTC. Their son was told terrible things about what would happen to him if he returned home early and Bob and Elaine had their work cut out for them in trying to undo the damage of the effects of cultural opinions about their son's struggles and need to return home early. They dove into research provided by Dr. Kris Doty-Yells...
2020-05-1041 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early025: What can I expect if I stay home?In this episode, five missionaries who came home early for various reasons, and chose to stay home, answer questions previously submitted via a questionnaire distributed on social media. They discuss their experiences with making the decision to stay home, moving forward with life, dealing with the guilt of not returning, whether or not they feel like "real returned missionaries," and how they talk about and feel about their missions now. If you are struggling with the decision to stay home or go back out, or if you have already made the decision to stay home and just want to...
2020-04-2650 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early024: What can I expect if I return to the field?In this episode, five missionaries who came home early for various reasons, and chose to return to the field either as proselyting missionaries or as service missionaries, answer questions previously submitted via a questionnaire distributed on social media. They discuss their experiences with making the decision to return to the field, choosing between a proselyting mission or a service mission, how they overcame the fear that the same issues that caused their early return would happen again, how they dealt with feelings of impatience, envy, and confusion while waiting for the right time to return, and how they adjusted...
2020-04-2646 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early023: Layton returns home early due to a suicide threat after seeing a robber in his homeIn this episode, Layton shares his story of the trauma he experienced on his mission from seeing a robber in his home and the suicide threat that resulted from his inability to cope with that trauma. Layton also discusses the homesickness he was already feeling and how the experience with the robber compounded that anxiety. However, despite these harrowing subjects, this podcast is filled with a message of hope from Layton as he discusses what helped him process these experiences and the immense love he has felt from the Savior and those around him. He shares resources, experiences, and...
2020-04-1236 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early022: Sophie Returns Home Early Due to COVID-19Sophie served in the Washington D.C. North mission for 17 months before needing to return home early to Vienna, Austria due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Even though she nearly completed her intended amount of time on a mission, Sophie is still facing many of the same challenges as other missionaries who have needed to return home early due to the pandemic. She and I also discuss how Austria is handling the pandemic and the similarities and differences between Austria and the United States. Since returning home, Sophie has created a blog for all missionaries who have needed to return...
2020-04-0525 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early021: Courtney's early return due to physical health, the mental toll it took on her, and her decision to return to the fieldWhile in the field, Courtney came down with dengue fever. She was given a shot for the fever, but likely got a pathogenic bacteria from the shot that caused her to need to go home after six months in the field. She is still figuring out her physical health problems to this day. Courtney speaks openly and candidly about her experiences, including the mental health struggles she has faced since coming home early. However, she also talks about the miracles that have happened that show her that God still loves her, cares for her, and approves of her. She b...
2020-03-2950 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early020: Early-Returned Missionaries and COVID-19In light of the recent announcement from the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles regarding COVID-19 and missionary service, many missionaries are returning home early. There has been mixed reactions on social media to this announcement and impending homecomings, mostly supportive, but some apprehensive about how those who have not previously returned home early due to COVID-19 will be perceived. In this episode, I address the concerns of those who are feeling apprehensive for coming home early due to reasons besides the recent pandemic and also welcome home and address the concerns of those who are returning...
2020-03-2418 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early019: Daniel Shares His Story of Returning Home Early Due to a Broken Ankle and then Returning to the FieldWhile on his mission in Columbia, Daniel broke his ankle. He was able to serve for about six months before he realized he needed to go home and get it properly taken care of. He thought he'd only be home for a few weeks, but it ended up being 13 months as the surgery required for his ankle ended up being more complicated than anyone expected. Daniel felt a lot of failure for returning home early that also caused him to feel very anxious and depressed. He bears powerful testimony of the Atonement and how it helped him during this...
2020-03-1535 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early018: Abi Shares Her Experience of Serving a Proselyting Mission and a Service MissionAfter twelve months in Germany, it became clear to Abi that her depression and anxiety had become too much and that she needed to go home. However, she still didn't feel that her mission was done and upon hearing about service missions decided that she wanted to finish her mission by "transferring" to this kind of a mission. In this episode, Abi shares her experience of serving at the Motion Picture Studio in Salt Lake City, discusses the schedule and expectations while on a service mission and what makes it different than a proselyting mission. She also shares her...
2020-03-0135 min
Latter Day Lives - Talking with Latter Day SaintsEp. 125 - Kristen Reber - Early Homecoming Author and Podcast HostKristen Reber is the author of Early Homecoming: A Resource for Early-returned Missionaries, Their Church Leaders, and Family. She is also the host of the podcast Early Homecoming: Insights From Missionaries Who Returned Early. We discuss her love of writing, her mission to the Philippines, the trial of getting a parasite, the decision to come home, her tireless work to help missionaries who come home early, as well as their families, wards, friends, Bishops and more. Kristen is so open and engaging. In addition to her personal experiences, she is very well studied in this area and has incredible insight...
2020-02-1748 min
Latter-day Saint MissionCastEarly Return Missionaries with Kristen ReberInterview with Kristen Reber about her podcast, Early Homecoming, which addresses Early Return Missionaries and the challeges they face.
2020-02-1741 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early017: Thea Shares What She Learned by Coming Home Early Twice for Worthiness ReasonsIn this episode, Thea shares openly and candidly her two experiences of returning home early for worthiness reasons—the first time for belated confession and the second time for serious disobedience in the field. Thea shares with me what it was like to experience the stigma of returning home early for worthiness reasons, how she suffered from "crippling isolation," distrust, and self-hatred. However, she also shares a strong message of HOPE for anyone else going through a serious repentance process and about the healing she experienced through the power of Christ's atonement. She also shares how she was able to...
2020-02-1654 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early016: Ask a TherapistIn this episode, Harmony Packer, a therapist at Healthier You in Lindon, Utah who specializes in treating early-returned missionaries, joins me again to answer questions from those who came home from their missions early or from those who care about them. These questions were submitted in advance and were as follows:Was there no one left that could’ve benefited from me on the mission? If I had not been sent home would I have been able to help more people?How do you deal with feelings of failure even though it has been months since you returned ho...
2020-02-0243 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early015: A Young Woman Shares Her Story of Struggling with Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, and a Lack of Parental SupportIn this interview, a young woman who has chosen to remain anonymous, tells me about her struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts both while on her mission and after returning home early. She discusses the things that helped her—mainly therapy and a supportive bishop—and what wounded her further. She also discusses the rocky relationship that developed between her and her mom due to her mom's lack of understanding about the depression (discussed at about 21.5 minutes in). This interview will allow you to really feel the rawness of depression, but also the hope that things can get better as y...
2020-01-1943 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early014: Austin Discusses Returning Home Early from the MTCIn this episode, Austin tells me about his experience of returning home after 10 days from the Provo MTC due to a sudden onset of severe anxiety and panic. He returned home to supportive family, friends, and leaders for the most part, but still struggled for several years to define his mission. Was it a mission? Could he say he had served a mission? What should he call that experience? Austin discusses how he has begun to make peace with those questions and also how he moved forward from the trauma of returning home early. He is now able to...
2020-01-0544 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early013: Brian Recounts what He has Learned the Last 20 Years from Coming Home Early due to HomesicknessThis episode is especially for anyone who has been carrying the burden of coming home early for more than ten years. It is also especially for anyone who has born the brunt of unkind comments or false notions in our church culture. Brian suffered from homesickness shortly after entering the field. He chose to return home after six months and doing so felt like admitting defeat. It took him decades to find peace and support and he shares his journey with me in this episode.
2019-12-2235 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early012: Tammy Shares Her Perspective as a Parent and ResearcherIn this episode, Tammy shares her perspective of being a mother of a missionary who came home early due to severe depression and anxiety. When her son came home, there were hardly any resources available to parents, and so Tammy dove into whatever research was available and wrote an article for parents titled "Wounded Warriors" which has been accepted for publication by the Ensign. Tammy and I discussed what she has learned and how she has grown through this trial, and also what is still hard about it. Tammy's honesty makes her story very relatable to any other parent...
2019-12-0843 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early011: Tyson Discusses Returning Home Early for Worthiness Reasons and then Returning to the Mission Field after Two Years at HomeIn this episode, Tyson discusses with me his need to return home early from his Latter-day Saint mission due to belated confession. He was lucky to have a supportive and inspired bishop as well as parents, but despite this, Tyson returned to what had been causing him trouble before even though he had hoped to get his sins resolved and return to his mission. Thanks to some tough love from his bishop, and a forced look at excommunication, Tyson did eventually make it through the repentance process, and, thanks to some more tough love from his best friend, he...
2019-11-2437 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early010: Alyssa Shares her Struggles with Depression and Self-Harm while on a MissionAlyssa served for eight weeks in the field with two trainers, one of which was very unkind to her. As a result of the constant belittlement, Alyssa began to dive deeper into depression and began to self-harm (which she delves more into at 26:13). She also lost a lot of weight due to the stress and depression. While she did have a good support system upon returning home, she did deal with a lack of understanding about the serious nature of self-harming and depression. Despite being home for only five months, Alyssa has a very positive outlook on life and...
2019-11-1036 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early009: Blake shares his experience of serving in the Utah Valley Service Mission after returning home early from Brazil due to anxietyWhen Blake came home early from his Latter-day Saint proselyting mission in Brazil, he had many questions: Why? What was the purpose of coming home early? What was he supposed to do? How could he move forward? He was initially not interested in serving a service mission until he learned about the Utah Valley Service mission where he would have the opportunity to serve beyond the temple and the Bishop's storehouse. Upon learning this, he felt like he wasn't done and that there was more that he could do and was reassigned to labor in the Utah Valley Service...
2019-10-2744 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early008: What is a Service Mission and Should I Consider Serving One?In this episode, Elder and Sister Wilkey discuss their roles as Latter-day Saint service mission leaders in the Utah Valley Service Mission and share valuable information about the way service missions are developing and all the different ways to serve in Utah Valley (which they hope will extend to other areas soon!). They share with me the similarities and differences between a service mission and a proselyting mission. They also discuss the role of parents in service missions and explain the involvement of parents better. They are very candid and honest about the best parts and hardest parts of...
2019-10-1347 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early007: A Chat with YSA Bishop Barry RellafordIn this episode, I chat with my friend and colleague Barry Rellaford, who is currently serving as a YSA (young single adult) bishop. During this interview, Barry tells me about the most challenging aspects of being a bishop and the training he receives from the Church (as well as from his life). He also discusses with me how he helps the members of his ward overcome the shame and stigma (both cultural and self-imposed) for coming home early and other reasons, how he leads others along the path of repentance, and how he tries to help early-returned missionaries (and...
2019-09-2240 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early006: Hayden's Story of Severe Physical Illness, Mistreatment, Falling Away from the Church, Coming Back, Forgiving Others, and Finding PeaceHayden came home early due to a severe case of H. Pylori. He was mistreated by his companion and mission president, probably due to major misunderstandings about his condition. However, the scars of what was said to him remained for years. Hayden was further judged and mistreated by various ward members for several months after his early return, causing him to no longer feel welcome at church. He was also rejected by several girls he tried to date because he came home early. Wanting to avoid further pain, Hayden went through a period of inactivity in the church and...
2019-09-0853 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early005: Deby's Dual Perspective as an Early-Returned Missionary and as the Parent of an Early-Returned MissionaryDeby returned home early from her mission in the Washington D.C. South Mission after 12 months. She shares her struggles with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. She discusses how she was mistreated upon returning home early and how it took her ten years before she ever even spoke about her mission. Just recently, her daughter returned home early from a mission and she shares what it was like for her to watch her daughter go through the experience. Deby offers timeless advice to both early-returned missionaries and parents in this personal, insightful episode.
2019-08-2543 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early004: A Chat with Harmony Packer, Therapist and Researcher for Early-Returned MissionariesHarmony Packer is a therapist at Healthier You in Lindon, Utah who specializes in treating early-returned missionaries. During her undergraduate degree, Harmony joined Dr. Kris Doty-Yells in her research on early-returned missionaries and their parents, helping her publish two research papers titled Return with Trauma: Understanding the Experiences of Early-Returned Missionaries and The Experiences of Parents of Early-Returned Missionaries. In this episode, Harmony and I discuss the types of trauma early-returned missionaries (and missionaries who complete the expected amount of time) face, as well as persistence of stigmas and why they exist. We also discuss how to find compassionate...
2019-08-1139 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early003: Nathan's Story of Dealing with Severe Insomnia and Discovering the Validity of Caring for OneselfNathan Winters, author of the Medium article, "What Early-Returned Missionaries Want You to Know," gives a raw interview where he shares his struggles with insomnia on his Latter-day Saint mission, his attempts to grapple cultural notions of "Forget yourself and go to work" with his great need to take care of himself, and how he is coping four months after his early return. Nathan also discusses what he has been found helpful and unhelpful from others who have tried to help him upon his early return.
2019-07-2143 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early002: Macady's Story of Coping with Depression and Finding HopeMacady was diagnosed with depression before deciding to serve a mission, but worked really hard to overcome her illness to still serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She was happy in the MTC, but soon felt the incoming of depression as soon as she arrived in the field. Due to a lack of understanding from her mission president, his wife, and those around her, she was sent home after just four weeks of service. In this episode, Macady relates to me her struggle with feeling unwanted and her deep shame of coming home...
2019-07-2144 minEarly Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early001: My Story of Battling Parasites and Finding Peace with Returning Home EarlyThis is my story of returning home early from my Latter-day Saint mission. With the help of my husband, James, I navigate the listener through my experience of choosing to serve a mission, to feeling ill, to my hospital stays in the Philippines, to making the decision to return home early, to choosing to stay home, to finally where I am now: completely at peace with my mission and coming home early.To learn more about my book, click here. Want to know all the nitty-gritty details of my story? Click here.
2019-07-2146 min