Lani Yamafuji - Podcast Details

Shows

Caregiving Philosophywhen do I get a life with Kathiepisode 42: when do I get a life? with Kathi When your loved one has dementia and can't be left alone, and you are the only caregiver, it can leave you asking the big question, When do I get a life? Listen in as we discuss Letting go of driving Mild cognitive impairment Ice cream and the pandemic Siblings and caregiving Caring for parents vs caring for children China and traveling out of country Parent daycare Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect...2024-02-1340 min

Caregiving Philosophyplanning the perfect death with JessDeath is something people aren’t comfortable talking about. Lucky for you, Jess and I aren’t those people. I dive right in and ask Jess the biggest caregiver question of all, “Are you ready for your mom to die?” Listen in as we discuss Long-distance caregiving challenges and stress Caregiving toll on the caregivers Dealing with anxiety through self-awareness and meditation How people that stress you out the most can be your greatest teachers The negative voice inside your head Grief, legacy planning, and death doula work The challenges of caring for loved ones with...2024-02-0643 min

Caregiving Philosophyfrustrated by a narcissistic mother with MelissaIt's difficult to watch a parent die. It's much more frustrating when the doctor says your parent has been cured from cancer, but they decide to give up on living anyway. "She didn't want to be helped. And then to watch somebody, like, give up like that was just really hard." Melissa Listen in as we discuss How parent's can be selfish when it comes to caregiving The different way siblings react Putting off one's life to wait for parents to die The one thing you wish your mother would do on h...2024-01-3033 min

Caregiving Philosophyhow to be good enoughDo you know, we're allowed to feel "good enough" whenever we choose? Yep, it's a choice we can freely make. In this episode, I share a personal story of a challenging moment at dinner the day before my father died of dementia. Caregiving is mentally hard, and we have to understand how this takes a toll. Having self-compassion for the way we and others act and react is a necessary ingredient for peace of mind. xoxo Lani PS Check out Free Will. The newsletter for caregiver who wan...2023-12-0506 min

Caregiving Philosophydo we have free will?Do we have free will? That's one of those philosophical questions that I never even thought about before a friend of mine insisted that the future is fixed. Then I looked into the research and, low and behold, Einstein himself thought the future is fixed. This is actually a widely held theory of physics. Listen as I discuss this idea as it relates to caregiving and decide what you think. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with...2023-09-2105 min

Caregiving Philosophyfreakout at 30,000ftIt's often hard to calm our own minds when we're in panic mode. Sometimes we freak out. Sometimes it takes a calming word from a friend or even a stranger. Listen to what worked for me. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so mu...2023-09-0406 min

Caregiving Philosophysteamy textsDo you talk or text? Texts are the mode of communication with my family when I'm out of state caregiving. My husband and I also send lots of photos back and forth. Listen to see what kind of steamy texts we like to give each other. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Sp...2023-09-0107 min

Caregiving Philosophytragedy in paradiseMy cousin is missing. Lost among the thousands of others in the tragic fire in Lahaina, Maui 5 days ago. Wishing everyone peace as we figure out the way forward. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-08-1406 min

Caregiving Philosophyin a perfect worldDid you know it's possible to choose to live in a Perfect World? Yes, it is. And, it's a wonderful place to be. Listen up and I'll show you how. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-08-0408 min

Caregiving PhilosophyI just want to dieI just want to die! Not words that you want to hear when you're a caregiver. Because, caregiving is hard. No matter the circumstances. It's especially hard to tell the difference between when you're actually needed and when it's ok to take time for yourself. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spot...2023-07-2807 min

Caregiving Philosophyhow to have the best life everEver wonder how to have the best life ever? Well, I've got 6 great tips for you right here. To you on my 60th birthday. I hope they serve you well. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-07-0312 min

Caregiving Philosophyfrom the earth to the seaSometimes you just have to remember what life is all about. You live and you die. And, hopefully have the most wonderful ride in between. Wishing you the best. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-06-0705 min

Caregiving Philosophythe horrible people in your familyI think it's a rare family that gets through life without family drama. Because humans think thoughts - good and bad thoughts about other people. That's ok. What hurts is holding on to those thoughts. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5...2023-06-0206 min

Caregiving Philosophyfinding real sentimental treasuresWant to know the beauty of multi-generational caregiving? It's finding the little sentimental treasures and remembering them and bringing them to mind during life's not so fun moments. The more you practice, the better you get. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rat...2023-06-0104 min

Caregiving Philosophyexpanding griefWhat does it feel like when a parent dies? I'm sure that's as unique as each individual. Here's my viewpoint after 5 days. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-2507 min

Caregiving Philosophyless than 4 weeks leftHow did this happen so fast? my mom asked I suppose, the end is always too fast. The time with your loved one is too short. There's never enough time. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-2005 min

Caregiving Philosophystarting over againDid you know you can always start over again? Yep. You can begin again. You can have a do-over. It's never too late. I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-1906 min

Caregiving Philosophybe early or else you're lateDo you like to be early, right on time, or late? I'm probably the way I am because my mother is the way she is. Does your punctuality run in the family? I’m here whenever you need to chat. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-1705 min

Caregiving Philosophyit's so sadSometimes things that make us So Sad aren't really useful things to be sad about. Here's my take on the situation. I hope you have a day like ukulele man. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-1306 min

Caregiving Philosophythe shame gameAre you unknowingly speaking in ways that cause shame? Here are a few ideas to know whether you are. Because shame is never a fun place to be. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-1206 min

Caregiving Philosophyeverything is for meYou want to know how to have the best life ever? This is part of the secret formula. Try it. I bet it will make a huge difference. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-1105 min

Caregiving Philosophybut, I don't want toHow do you get yourself to do things you don't want to? Here's how my husband and I get all sorts of things done that we don't want to. It's all about asking yourself the right questions. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-1004 min

Caregiving Philosophyend stage dementia food fightGot any caregiving disagreements? I'm sure I'm not the only one. Listen in to see if we resolve this food fight. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-0907 min

Caregiving Philosophydenial is realHow much evidence do you need to get out of denial? I'm not sure. Maybe there's no limit. That's what it seems like for my mother anyway. I guess that's how some people cope. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-05-0805 min

Caregiving Philosophynever enough timeBetween kids and parents and siblings, it's hard to find time for ourselves. That's ok. That's how life goes. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-2602 min

Caregiving Philosophy3 damaging ways you avoid emotionsDo you know there's such a thing as accepting your emotions? Yep, and it doesn't come with all the consequences of the other ways of dealing with your feelings. Listen in to hear the difference. It will feel a whole lot better in the long run. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appre...2023-04-2506 min

Caregiving Philosophythe dementia dietI believe some types of dementia are preventable. And, I believe the type my dad has is one of those. Listen to see the way I think he should be eating and how I'm eating to prevent dementia myself. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-2406 min

Caregiving Philosophy3 frightening symptoms of chronic stressChronic stress can do some pretty crazy stuff with your mind and body. Here are a few of the more frightening and unusual symptoms of my stress. I hope none of these things happen to you. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-2306 min

Caregiving Philosophywhy parents are unfairGrowing up, my sister always said, That's not Fair! Well, she's right. And, things are especially unfair when in comes to love and money, especially money. Let me give you a sneak peek into how the inheritance has worked in my family. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-2205 min

Caregiving Philosophyshould dad go to hospice?Have you ever had to make end of life decisions for your loved one? I'm sure each person has their own opinions. And, it's never easy. And, it's sad. Sometimes, we just have to do sad. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-2105 min

Caregiving Philosophyhow to make boundaries that stickAre you waiting around for people to stop crossing your boundaries? You are actually the one who needs to keep your boundaries. Learn how in this episode. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-2007 min

Caregiving Philosophythe time I ghosted someoneDid you ever wonder why someone ghosted you? Let me tell you, it's about them not you. Listen as I share my story of how I ghosted someone. I hope you learn something from my example. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-1906 min

Caregiving Philosophygiving up on my one promiseEven though we try to keep all the promises we make to our parents, sometimes things just don't work out. And, that's ok. This is one of those times. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-1806 min

Caregiving PhilosophyI used to be smart untilWhat are the stories other people say about you? Did you know that you don't need to believe those stories. It's all your choice. It's all up to you. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-1706 min

Caregiving Philosophyare you feeling grief ahead of time?It's always good to notice what we're thinking. Because it doesn't feel that great to feel grief ahead of time. Here are the 5 ways to spot grief and a few ways to lessen the sting. Wishing you well. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-1605 min

Caregiving Philosophythe one thing my mom won't forgiveDo you have something stuck in your mind? The thing that someone did that you absolutely just can't let go of. Something that just keeps bothering you endlessly. Well, my mom’s got such a thing that I did. Listen to what I did. And, how I could just let it go, if I were her. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple...2023-04-1508 min

Caregiving Philosophyyou don't have to take care of your parentsNo, you really don't have to take care of your parents. If you want to, lucky for them. And if you'd love to, lucky for you. It's really a matter of choice. And, you're always in charge of what choice you want to make. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 sta...2023-04-1405 min

Caregiving Philosophythe yearly password fiascoI'm going to generalize here, but passwords seem to be a problem with people in their 80s. They forget the passwords. Then they forget the password to the email to recover the password. And, on it goes. I hope you've found a better system than I have. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd...2023-04-1304 min

Caregiving Philosophythe secret life of my in-lawsAre your secrets helping you or hurting you? In this episode, I tell you about the secrets my in-laws keep and how that’s affected my relationship with my husband. You can't expect someone else's family to be just like your family, right? Sometimes you don't even want them to be! See how we decided to navigate this situation. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple...2023-04-1206 min

Caregiving Philosophymy biggest parenting mistakeWe're used to teaching our kids the lessons of life. But, sometimes they teach us an important lesson that we didn't know. That's what happened when I made this parenting mistake. I hope you can learn something from my error. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify And, I'd appreciate the 5 star rating so much. 2023-04-1104 min

Caregiving Philosophystop feeding dadShould we feed dad or not feed dad? That's the question we discuss in this week's episode. You know what? It's not a question with a clear cut answer. Just like most other caregiving questions, we all have our own opinions and stories we're bringing along with us. Listen in and see what you think you would do. Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Pod...2023-04-1004 min

Caregiving Philosophymy over-stuffed sandwichIs your sandwich over-stuffed? It's definitely not easy being in the sandwich generation, caring for both our children and our aging parents. In this episode I reveal the latest mind drama going on in my caregiving journey. And, I let you know the layers of my sandwich. What layers do you have? Take care, xoxo Lani Connect with me on Instagram. Subscribe below so you don't miss the next episode! Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Sp...2023-04-0905 min

Happy Life Story11. Why You Should Stop Trying to be Happy"Desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience. And the acceptance of a negative experience is itself a positive experience." I got this great quote from Mark Manson. I saw on this YouTube video the other day.And, I think that's totally true. If you keep trying to be happy, you keep desiring to be happier than you are, then that's a negative experience. Lani: Caregiving Philosophy Melissa: Wandering Missy - Start Living the Life You Want. How to find Joy + Purpose in your Life. 2023-02-2221 min

Happy Life Story10. How to Change Your PerspectiveLearn about a tool called The Model that lets you see how your thoughts and feelings lead to your actions and the results you create in your life.Often it only takes a small change in perspective to make a large change in your life. Lani: Caregiving Philosophy Melissa: Wandering Missy - Start Living the Life You Want. How to find Joy + Purpose in your Life. 2023-02-1527 min

Happy Life Story9. Why it's Hard to be HappyThe reason it's difficult to be happy is because our brain is programmed to listen to the Motivational Triad:seek pleasureavoid painconserve energyLearn how our primitive brain affects our decisions in today's modern world.Here's the book we mention in this episode; The Pleasure Trap by Doug Lisle. Lani: Caregiving Philosophy Melissa: Wandering Missy - Start Living the Life You Want. How to find Joy + Purpose in your Life. 2023-02-0820 min

Happy Life Story8. 3 Steps to Begin to Change Your LifeDo you ever think, "I really want to create more happiness in my life, but I feel stuck. I just can't get going. I want things to be different, but I have no idea where to begin. I want positive change, but I feel like I'm in a rut. What should I do?" Listen to hear Melissa's three steps to begin to change your life. Lani: Caregiving Philosophy Melissa: Wandering Missy - Start Living the Life You Want. How to find Joy + Purpose in your Life. 2023-02-0114 min

Happy Life Story7. Client Question: How to Handle Self Doubt?Today, we're going to answer a listener question. She says, Every time I get involved inan activity, something in me takes over saying that I'm not good enough, or something is wrong in the way I'm doing it. Then I immediately stop and start wondering where I made the mistake. When I continue. All I can see are mistakes. There are so many projects. I've abandoned because of this. And it makes me feel like a failure. How do I get rid of my self doubts?We can all see ourselves in this person.2023-01-2515 min

Happy Life Story6. The Importance of Social SkillsThe 5th Component of Emotional Intelligence: Social Skillsdo not let other people's emotions rub off on yousomeone who has stronger emotional intelligence tends to be happieryou have to understand yourself first to be able to understand everybody elseremember you have no idea what someone else is going throughAnd it all circles back to self awareness! Lani: Caregiving Philosophy Melissa: Wandering Missy - Start Living the Life You Want. How to find Joy + Purpose in your Life. 2023-01-1807 min

Happy Life Story5. Why Empathy is a Key Ingredient of Emotional IntelligenceThe fourth part of emotional intelligence is Empathy. The definition that we have for empathy as it relates to emotional intelligence is having a high EQ, versus an IQ, meaning being able to understand what others may be feeling and are going through and responding kindly and thoughtfully. You have no idea what someone else is going through, what is going on their world. Approaching conversations and interactions with empathy, with a mutual respect, putting yourself in some one else's shoes shows a depth of understanding and maturity. Lani: Caregiving Philosophy...2023-01-1108 min

Happy Life Story4. What Motivation can Teach You about YourselfToday we are talking about another core part of Emotional Intelligence: Motivation.The definition for motivation is: emotionally intelligent people are motivated by things beyond money, fame or success. They're also able to understand and desire the need to fulfill their own inner needs and goals. What do you think about this? What motivates you?What can you learn about yourself as you uncover the role motivation plays in your life? Lani: Caregiving Philosophy Melissa: Wandering Missy - Start Living the Life You Want. How to find Joy + Purpose in yo...2023-01-0406 min

Happy Life Story3. How Self Regulation can Change your LifeHow Self Regulation can Change your LifeThere's 5 different components that make up the broader definition of Emotional Intelligence. Today we are talking about #2, Self Regulation. Definition: being able to regulate and manage the emotions you are feeling while waiting for the appropriate time and avenue on how to express them. Self Regulation starts when you recognize after what you did before, so that you can change it the next time or try to get at least a little bit better the next time. Self Regulation can be trying to s...2022-12-2706 min

Happy Life Story2. Why Self Awareness is Critical to your HappinessWhy Self Awareness is Critical to your HappinessToday we are talking about Emotional Intelligence. A very big topic. What is emotional intelligence? It is the ability to perceive, interpret, demonstrate, control and use emotions to communicate with and to relate to others effectively and constructively. But why are we talking about this?There's 5 different components that make up the broader definition. In this episode we will start with the first component: Self Awareness. What it is and why it is critical to your happiness. Lani...2022-12-2009 min

Happy Life Story1. Intro to Happy Life StoryWelcome to Happy Life Story, I’m Melissa. And I’m Lani. We’re discussing how to create your Better Life Story.In our first episode, we discuss what is your happy life story. What is happiness to you? And what story do we tell ourselves about our own sense of being happy? And did you realize that you are in complete control of how you think? Exercise:Describe yourself in three sentences. And then later, look at what you wrote down? Did you pick the three best things about yourself? Did you pi...2022-12-1314 min