Shows
The Devil You Don’t KnowJack Ruins Everything: When Adult Children Hijack Your PeaceSend us a textCleveland and Lindsay explore the problem of adult children controlling their parents' lives, sparked by overhearing a family vacation conversation about how "Jack ruins everything." They examine the balance between loving your adult children and preventing them from disrupting your peace and happiness.• Adult children are guests in your home, not entitled residents• Setting boundaries doesn't mean you don't love your children• Cultural differences in the Caribbean demonstrate greater respect and reduced entitlement• Reciprocity is crucial in all relationships—adult children must contribute to the household• Your peace should...2025-07-1749 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowThe Alchemy of Acceptance: The Power of Embracing Your PainSend us a textWe explore the concept of emotional acceptance and how confronting rather than avoiding difficult feelings is essential to healing from trauma. Transformation happens when we learn to accept our emotions and reframe our relationship with past pain.• Understanding why "you've got to feel it to heal it"• Exploring how trauma physically lives in the body as "issues in the tissues"• Learning about the destructive impact of shame and negative core beliefs• Recognizing unhelpful coping mechanisms like distraction and substance use• Practicing the RAIN method—Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture...2025-06-3040 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowThe Window, The Car, and The Dress: Tales from the Parenting TrenchesSend us a textLindsay and Cleveland explore the messy reality of parenting through recent chaotic events in their household, from a crashed car and shattered picture window to prom dress drama and boundary-setting with young adult children.• A car crash in the driveway leads to insurance claims and unexpected Enterprise rental experiences• The Queen Mom's prom dress saga involves ordering twenty dresses and last-minute shoe shopping• A well-intentioned furniture cleaning attempt results in a shattered custom picture window• "Huckleberry Tim" tests boundaries by staying out until early morning and inviting unauthorized house gu...2025-06-2427 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowWhy Trusting Your Gut Changes EverythingSend us a textMost people don't trust themselves, constantly seeking external validation and living unhappy lives despite trying to please everyone around them.• Self-trust means being comfortable with who you are rather than constantly seeking approval• When you don't trust yourself, you give up command of your life and surrender your agency• Setting boundaries aligns with self-trust and allows you to identify who respects you• Family relationships often challenge our self-trust when we're expected to compromise our needs• Trusting yourself leads to authentic relationships rather than people-pleasing interactions• The Three A's fo...2025-06-1447 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowAre You Together?Send us a textShores of NevisFrom the white sands of Nevis, we find ourselves reflecting on a deceptively simple question: What does it mean to truly be together?For us, an interracial couple navigating the rhythms of a blended family, this question surfaces in unexpected places – in the confused looks of airline staff separating us during boarding, in the puzzled expressions of theme park employees unsure how to categorize our family. These moments, often met with laughter now, point to a deeper societal confusion about what families should look li...2025-04-2750 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowIsland Escapes and Life Lessons: Finding Paradise in NevisSend us a textWhat starts as a terrifying moment pre-flight turns into a wake-up call I didn’t know I needed. On our way to Nevis, I fainted on the plane—no warning, just out cold. The timing felt awful... until we found out later that the plane’s computer system failed after we got off. What seemed like bad luck was actually divine intervention, and it shook me awake in more ways than one.From the porch of our quiet villa in Nevis, Lindsay and I talk about the deep contrast between the relent...2025-04-1930 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowThe Gravity of Unspoken Expectations: Why Your Partner Isn't a Mind ReaderSend us a textCleveland and Lindsay return after a long break to tackle the frustrating phenomenon of silent scripts in relationships and why expecting your partner to read your mind sets you both up for failure.• Silent scripts are unspoken expectations we have for our partners but never communicate directly• The absurdity of expecting mind-reading from partners when we'd never expect it in other relationships• Covert contracts create one-sided agreements where we expect something in return without expressing it• Authentic communication about needs and expectations is crucial from the very beginning of relat...2025-04-1358 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowThe Breath Reset: Breaking Free From PerfectionismSend us a textSelf-judgment holds us back from authentic growth by triggering stress responses and reinforcing negative beliefs about ourselves. Perfectionism, deeply rooted in childhood experiences and amplified by social media, creates impossible standards that disconnect us from our true selves.• Our brains evolved for survival not happiness, making negativity our default mode• Self-criticism raises cortisol levels by 37%, creating physical stress responses• Gabor Maté's compassionate inquiry helps identify what unmet needs drive our self-judgment• Perfectionism in young adults has risen 33% since 1989, linked to anxiety and burnout• Social media creates unrealistic...2025-03-1640 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowSeparate and Unequal: America's School Segregation CrisisSend us a textEducational segregation in America has reached crisis levels, with schools more segregated today than in the 1980s, despite Brown v. Board of Education supposedly ending this practice decades ago. We explore how systemic issues including funding disparities, zoning policies, and power structures maintain educational inequality across racial and economic lines.• Shocking statistics reveal non-white school districts receive $23 billion less annually than white districts• The podcast "Nice White Parents" demonstrates how gentrification can lead to school takeovers that further marginalize existing students• Personal stories about navigating school choices in New York C...2025-03-0954 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowI Don't Have A Point to Prove: Why Every Argument Isn't Worth the FightSend us a textIn this engaging episode, we explore the ramifications of fighting over every point and why it often leads to unnecessary stress and emotional exhaustion. Through candid discussions, we share personal anecdotes that shed light on how the need to be right in our current divisive climate impacts our relationships and overall well-being. This episode uniquely draws on the reasons why politeness and effective communication are not just desirable, but essential in a time when political polarization can quickly spiral into personal conflict. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.c...2025-03-031h 03The Devil You Don’t KnowDo Better Next TimeSend us a textOur recent episode focuses on empathy and the vital role it plays in countering division in today's world. We highlight Dave Chappelle's (SNL 50) poignant remarks on humanity, trauma, and compassion in the wake of societal upheaval, urging listeners to reflect on how they can elevate empathy in their own lives. • Exploring Chappelle's perspective on division and empathy • The necessity of compassion in mental health • Realizing the uniqueness of each individual's trauma • Mindfulness as a tool for addressing emotional reactions • Accountability as a critical component of personal growth • The import...2025-01-2147 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowAccountability is an Inside JobSend us a textThis episode centers on the theme that accountability is fundamentally an inside job, exploring the connection between personal responsibility and healing through acceptance. We discuss stories of transformation, lessons from experts like Gabor Maté and Mel Robbins, and personal experiences that highlight the challenges of taking ownership in our lives. • Accountability starts with self-reflection • Insights from the Hope Program on personal transformation • The impact of societal issues on individual responsibility • Navigating relationships through acceptance and accountability • Gabor Maté’s approach to understanding personal behavior • Emphasizing the importance of letting...2025-01-1232 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowCreating Calm Amid Life's Unexpected TwistsSend us a textThis episode navigates the complexities of emotional fatigue and the overwhelming nature of modern life. Through personal stories and discussions on societal expectations, we explore acceptance, the dangers of information overload, and the importance of living authentically.• Discussing the challenge of accepting unexpected returns in family dynamics • Reflection on emotional toll from personal experiences and holidays • Exploring the phenomenon of news fatigue and its mental impact • The role of social media in fostering exhaustion and anxiety • Addressing job dissatisfaction in the current socio-economic climate • Highlighting the importance of sel...2025-01-0658 minThe Devil You Don’t KnowBuilding Connection Through Chaos: Finding Community in Unexpected PlacesSend us a textWhat happens when you blend the chaos of a kitchen flood with the warmth of a vegan Friendsgiving? Join us as we share our latest escapades, from Cleveland's ponderings of a PhD amidst his return to the office grind to Lindsay's unwavering resolve to steer clear of academia. Our Thanksgiving tales range from serene home-cooked vegan roasts to the bustling camaraderie of Friendsgiving, all while juggling Cleveland's quirky feats of knowledge and his hilarious domestic faux pas. Have you ever wondered how finding your "sangha" could transform your life? We explore t...2024-12-021h 01