Shows
Filled to Flourish28. Supporting Your Nervous System Through the Struggle with Visibility with guest Anna HoltzmanIn this episode, I chat with therapist and coach Anna Holtzman to explore what really happens inside our bodies when we step into the spotlight. Whether you’re sharing your work online, speaking up in a meeting, or launching a creative project, visibility can stir up deep-seated fears and stress responses. Anna shares practical tools to regulate your nervous system, reframe the discomfort of being seen, and cultivate safety as you expand into greater authenticity and expression. Tune into this episode to learn how caring for, not bypassing, your body’s signals can help you show up with more ease...
2025-11-0556 minFilled to Flourish27. Golden Child- Author Interview with Lauren SmallcombJoin Luke as he interviews Lauren on her newly released memoir, Golden Child. Golden Child: My Descent to Scapegoat and Rise to Freedom is a self help memoir that details the collapse of illusory goodness within a family system through the disruption of Christian Nationalism, ultimately leading the token golden child to walk out of her gilded golden cage. Through an arduous journey with grief and wonder, she courageously unravels from fundamentalism and steps into her authentic and free self.Available in ebook, paperback and audiobook on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FKSZFWR9?ref_=pe_93986420_775043100
2025-09-1147 min
DysfunctionalFrom Golden Child to Scapegoat with Lauren SmallcombLauren Smallcomb grew up the “golden child” at home and in church. When compassion widened and questions came, the role cracked. We get into:Golden child vs scapegoat dynamics and why families swap those seatsConditional love, estrangement, and the pressure to “get back in line”High control religion, missions in Thailand, and leaving the systemThe body keeping the score: hives, chronic symptoms, and slow repairRebuilding through mind body work, movement, breath, and safe loveHer new book and who it’s forWork with Lauren and Luke: Flourish Therapy (mind body practice, global)Instagram & Facebook: @flourishtherapyWebsite: flourishtherapy.co
2025-09-091h 25Filled to Flourish7 Present- Day Reasons for Going No-ContactAfter taking a break, we're starting up a new season of the podcast focusing on dysfunctional family systems and healing. In this episode, we explore in detail 7 PRESENT-day reasons for going no-contact. ❤️🩹 Parents’ inability to accept the individuated version of their adult-child❤️🩹 Parents’ refusal to stop upholding rigid roles adult-child have been playing since childhood ❤️🩹 Parents’ chronic lack of healthy attunement❤️🩹Chronic use of manipulation, gas-lighting, denial, triangulation, guilt-tripping, blame-shifting, projection by the parent/s❤️🩹Defensive posture vs. a receptive posture of repair❤️🩹 Parents’ chronic lack of interest in the adult-child’s genuine well-being❤️🩹Ref...
2025-08-151h 00Filled to FlourishHealing Together: Trauma, Burn-out and Growth on Your Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi CarltonBONUS EPISODE! Luke and I had the privilege of chatting with Jodi Carlton on her podcast, "Your Neurodiverse Relationship".Jodi says: "Together, they open up about their own marriage, healing past trauma, working through attachment styles, and what it really takes to make a #neurodiverserelationship not only work—but thrive. They also share their professional insights into #neuroplasticity, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), attachment wounds, and how their personal growth journey empowered them to help other couples navigate similar challenges.✅ Navigating ADHD & demand avoidance✅ Anxious + avoidant attachment in marriage✅ Overfunctioning, burnout & masking✅ When to accept… and when to seek change
2025-05-121h 10
YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi CarltonNeurodiverse Marriage, Burnout & Healing with Lauren & Luke | ADHD, RSD & Attachment (Part 2)In this powerful Part 2 episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast (Season 5), neurodiverse relationship expert Jodi Carlton continues her candid conversation with married couple Luke and Lauren Smallcomb.
Together, they open up about: - Navigating ADHD and demand avoidance in marriage - Overcoming anxious and avoidant attachment styles - What happens when one partner is an overfunctioner - Burnout, masking, and learning to communicate better - The difference between acceptance and accommodation - Red flags vs. recoverable challenges in neurodiverse relationships.
👉 Here's Part 1 in case you missed it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVdE9-xbzKI
2025-04-3046 min
YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi CarltonHealing Together: Trauma, Growth, and Neurodiversity with Lauren and Luke SmallcombIn this powerful episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast Season 5, host Jodi Carlton sits down with trauma healing experts and married neurodiverse couple Luke and Lauren Smallcomb, who live in Thailand and run a worldwide trauma-healing practice called Flourish Therapy.
Together, they open up about their own marriage, healing past trauma, working through attachment styles, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverser elationship not only work—but thrive. They also share their professional insights into neuroplasticity, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), attachment wounds, and how their personal growth journey empowered them to help other couples navigate si...
2025-04-1628 minFilled to Flourish24. Three Years Post-Brain Retraining with Lauren SmallcombHave you ever heard my experience with brain retraining? It’s been a few years since I did an episode about it, and because it’s SUCH valuable information I wanted to talk about it again, and add in my new insights and perspectives from this point in my journey.In this episode I share:-an overview of my healing process through brain retraining-a guide to explore what is behind you dysregulation and chronic symptoms through mining your story, early conditioning, unique vulnerabilities such as neurodivergence, and your present environments and relationships to u...
2025-04-0354 minFilled to Flourish23. Trauma vs Neurodivergence: Heal or Accommodate? with guest Jodi CarltonJoin us for the third and final episode in our series on neurodiversity! In this episode we interview Jodi Carlon, a Neurodiverse Relationship Expert. We had an amazing conversation, evidenced by the number of times Luke and I said “beautifully said” to Jodi!We cover:🌿how trauma affects the brain🌿the role of safety🌿fleshing out what accommodation really is🌿how to figure out healed and what needs to be accommodated🌿the nature of neurodivergent nervous system and it’s highly likelihood of becoming traumatized🌿expectations, needs vs preferences in relationships🌿how some difficult neurodivergent traits are m...
2025-03-061h 172025-02-1801 minFilled to Flourish22. Neurodiverse Relationships with Luke and Lauren SmallcombWe’re back for episode 2 in our series on neurodiversity! This episode is quite personal, as Luke and I detail several of the challenges we experience navigating a neurodiverse relationship.
We explore three main areas of struggle in neurodiverse relationships: communication, emotional regulation and conflicting needs.
We flesh out some of the differences between Luke’s trauma responses versus neurotype characteristics, and give disclaimers about abuse in relationships.
After years of doing it the wrong way, we offer advice for both the neurotypical partner, as well as the neurodivergent partner, and invite you the audience to take the hard...
2025-02-061h 06
The Relationship Rehab[Eps. 34] The Raw Truth About Dating with ADHD and Autism: Navigating Neurodivergence in Relationships with Lauren & LukeStruggling with dating and relationships as someone with ADHD, Autism, or another neurodivergent diagnosis? Or are you in a relationship with a neurodivergent partner? This episode was made for YOU ❤️
In this raw and vulnerable episode, Lauren and Luke Smallcomb open up to talk about the highs and low of being a neurodivergent couple. Luke shares his personal experience of what it’s really like to date, be in relationships and be in the world as someone who is neurodivergent (ADHD, Autism, etc) and Lauren, who is neurotypical, explains what it really takes to make a relationship succes...
2025-01-281h 11Filled to Flourish21. Introduction to Neurodivergence with Luke and Lauren SmallcombWe are so excited to offer this series to our audience as a route to more deeply understanding a really big aspect of ourselves and our relationships: NEURODIVERSITY.
Luke shares a bit of his history recognizing his own neurodivergence, how is shows up in his life, and the windy-road process of accepting it.
In this episode we explore RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), demand avoidance, special interest (+ hyperfocus), stimming, imbalanced energy and catastrophic depletion. We also talk through what characteristics are representative of innate neurodivergence, vs a neurodivergent person experiencing trauma symptoms (very common!)
We hope this introductory episode is...
2025-01-231h 08Filled to Flourish20. Purposeful Relational Imbalance with Luke and Lauren SmallcombIn this episode, we tackle the hard-to-talk-about realities of harm in relationships (i.e. betrayal, addiction, abuse...) and the necessary imbalance needed for repair of such relationships. What does it take to create trust and safety after it's been lost? What does the timeline for recovery of connection look like? How much will genuine repair cost you? You won't want to miss this conversation if you have a difficult partnership and you're not sure what healing and relational repair should look like.
2024-12-1133 minFilled to Flourish19. Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning in Relationships with Luke and Lauren SmallcombWe're confident this episode will be valuable to so many as we see this relational dynamic all the time. Listen in as we explore factors behind under and over-functioning such as societal conditioning, religious teachings, family roles and neurodivergence. We share some key things that have been monumental in us unraveling from this imbalanced dynamic, and insight on how to move forward if you find this pattern to be true of your intimate relationship.
2024-11-1240 minFilled to Flourish18. Triggers, Young Parts and How to Get Unstuck with Bethany RandolphJoin us for this episode as Flourish Therapy practitioner Bethany Randolph walks us through how the way we address our triggers and young parts can actually be keeping us stuck. Bethany guides Lauren through an impromptu therapy session, gently showing how to allow the wounded parts of us EXPERIENCE our strong and compassion Self. It's a powerful practice that can open you up to new neural pathways of healing and transformation.
2024-05-271h 07Filled to Flourish17. Guest Interview with Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free | Author of All the Scary Little GodsWe so enjoyed this guest interview with Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free. We quickly connected and had such an engaging conversation about her new memoir where she shares about her exit from her marriage, her church and the toxic theology and shame that had trapped her for so long. She found a lot of help with her healing process through IFS, and actually writes part of her book from the perspective of her different parts. It is such a brave and brilliant move! If you or someone you love is questioning the health of your marriage, family of origin...
2024-04-081h 11Filled to Flourish16. 11 Brilliant, Accessible Ways to Regulate Your Nervous SystemWe all want more regulated nervous systems, but HOW do we get from information and knowledge about the nervous system, to actually experiencing a wider window of tolerance and deeper regulation capacity?
💭🎙🧠 In this episode we offer you 11 effective ways to cultivate a more regulated nervous system over time, and help you recover from the effects of trauma and chronic stress. Most of them are very accessible to most people, and guess what--none of them are therapy (although, of course that is often a very helpful support in developing a more regulated nervous system). We hope t...
2024-02-2935 minFilled to Flourish15. Displaced Shame + MisogynyJoin us as we explore what we propose could possibly be the root behind misogyny.
2024-01-3124 minFilled to Flourish14. Boundaries with Family and PartnersIn this episode of the Filled to Flourish podcast we examine the topic of boundaries with more detail and nuance than a lot of boundaries conversations. We explore this topic a lot with each other and clients, and wanted to bring some of that more complicated conversation to the podcast.
We discuss:
-Boundary basics
-Power, autonomy and systems
-When defensiveness is normal, when it's harmful
-Why those closest to us might have such a hard time with our boundaries
-Family systems and roles
-Shared and unshared boundaries
-How powerfully healing it can be when someone responds well to our boundaries
...
2023-11-3043 minFilled to Flourish13. When Freedom Means Leaving Your Family with Jessica Willis FisherJessica Willis Fisher was the oldest daughter in a high-control family system, that just so happened to also be famous (TLC, AGT...ect) Behind the gorgeous smiles and stunning talent of this 14 person family- fear, control and every kind of abuse reigned.
When Jessica became able to really face the horrors of what was happening to her, and her family members, she was faced with a seemingly impossible decision. Her memoir captures the immense struggle of her story with striking heart and clarity. We had the honor of interviewing Jessica and hearing from her personally about:
2023-10-231h 24Filled to Flourish12. Grieving a Past You Didn't Choose with Hannah BrentsSo much of our lives involve managing life in the aftermath of other peoples choices. This is particularly true when it comes to your childhood.
Join us as we chat with a therapy Hannah Brents about the repercussions, challenges and heartaches surrounding pasts that were chosen for you.
examples of having "a past you didn't choose"
how grief and acceptance are interconnected and how they heal us
moving from helplessness to taking ownership/control of your life
forgiveness for those who were responsible for your past experiences?
how to titrate through big emotions when grieving a...
2023-08-0756 min
SexvangelicalsS3E06: Partnership Building: How Purity Culture Teaches You to Turn Away from Yourself, with Luke and Lauren from Flourish TherapyWe are continuing our summer series called Partnership Building, where we discuss how sexual health is relational health, and relational health is sexual health. We're talking about seven principles of healthy relationships, according to relationship experts John and Julie Gottman. In the first four episodes of this series, we've discussed two foundations of healthy relationships: curiosity and admiration/appreciation. In the next two episodes, we'll talk about the third principle of healthy relationships (according to the Gottman's): turning toward each other. And we have amazing guests, Luke and Lauren Smallcomb from the brilliant...
2023-07-2348 minFilled to Flourish11. Symptoms as Parts with Katie LaCelleSo many of you enjoy our content on IFS, and we’re glad to share another podcast episode with you about how our bodily symptoms can be coming from specific parts of our internal world.
We interviewed Katie LaCelle from @cressanallc, and looked at IFS (parts work) through a somatic lens.
-quick overview of the Self, exiles, protectors
-how to tell if you are “in Self”
-how hard it is to stay embodied in a body that is suffering
-what a somatic protector and how it might try to protect...
2023-06-2158 minFilled to Flourish10. Regulation 201- Mixed Nervous System StatesWe promised we would do some teaching on the mixed states of the nervous system- so here is an entire episode on it! 🌿we review the 3 primary states of the nervous system🌿introduce the 3 mixed states (play, stillness and freeze)🌿differentiate between freeze and shut down🌿the goal of nervous system regulation🌿touch on the importance and role of the vagal break🌿explain how to expand your regulation capacity through beauty🌿share how we’ve personally grown to experience the states of play and stillness more in the last few years....and more!
We hope this helps expand...
2023-06-0743 minFilled to Flourish9. Restrictive Masculinity with Dr. Brendan KwiatkowskiIs “masculinity” a bad thing? Our teenage son asked once when he was trying to make sense of all the things.I think his question is something we are asking as a collective as well.
Join us for this engaging conversation about masculinity with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski from @re.masculine.
We explore:
-What restrictive masculinity is
-What is missing from the idea of “toxic masculinity”
-3 of the most harmful beliefs about masculinity
-Negative health outcomes of restrictive masculinity
-Surprising results from his research regarding emotional sensitivity in males
-What the difference is between understanding restrictive masculinity vs. tolerating/coddling a...
2023-05-091h 04Filled to Flourish8. Sex + the Nervous SystemA regulated nervous system has an important role in a healthy and connected sex life. In this episode we explore how the NS is needed in the 4-stage sexual arousal cycle, how cues of safety and cues of threat play into sexual engagement and the aspect of novelty in a sexual relationship. We are excited to introduce the "M.A.P. of Sexual Responsiveness", a model we created to help guide couples to deepen their sexual connection and pleasure. This episode has A LOT in it -- go slowly if needed. Find us on social and let us know...
2023-04-261h 06Filled to Flourish7. The Second Wound with Miranda Pacchiana"Many abuse, assault, or trauma survivors experience The Second Wound when they disclose their experiences: a combination of disbelief, minimization, shaming, victim-blaming, silencing, and ostracism." In this episode we talk with Miranda Pacchiana of The Second Wound, and explore the dynamics of this gut-wrenching re-traumatization, how to prevent yourself from unknowingly causing this harm, as well as how to begin to heal from the second wound. We discuss childhood sexual abuse, and the issue of consent, arousal and memory related to this form of abuse. If you are survivor of the second wound, you are sure to leave this...
2023-04-121h 01
Filled to Flourish6. High-Control Religion + Sexuality with Julia Postema Jeremiah GibsonToday on the podcast we share our interview with the lovely Julia + Jeremiah of @sexvangelicals on the intersection of high-control religions and sexuality. We explore:🎙How to establish safety around sex and conversing about sex 🎙How relationships require a challenge of your sexuality in a way that not being in a relationship doesn’t 🎙How high-control religions prescribe a lens of fear and how this can hinder you from asking questions, being in tune with your desires, exploration, playfulness and pleasure🎙How sex therapy is not glamorous, rather always includes grief and loss 🎙How patriarchal views are incompatible with genuine intimacy...
2023-03-221h 16Filled to Flourish5. How Can I Tell if Me or My Partner is Abusive? With Andrew BaumanWe asked Clinician Andrew Bauman to join us as we attempt to explore this landmine topic mindfully and truthfully. While more are becoming "abuse-informed" it is still incredibly common for couples and helpers alike to feel very unsure how to identify these dynamics in themselves, their spouses, or who they're working with. Andrew shares with refreshing honestly what he looks for as he helps couples in his practice, and how he navigates what he finds.
This episode is only intended to be informative, and we encourage you to seek out a qualified abuse-informed, trauma-informed practitioner to help...
2023-03-0951 minFilled to Flourish4. Modality Mash-upJoin us for this episode-with-a-twist! Lauren randomly pulls from a hat 2 distinct therapy modalities, and Luke jumps in with an on-the-spot explanation of how they are connected. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It's a helpful episode if you are in the trauma healing world (personally or professionally) and are trying to better understand how these worlds connect. We have a tendency to learn through what we already know, to understand what is new, so hopefully that is what we are offering to you here! Check out our site FlourishTherapy.co if you'd like to learn more about our offerings.
2023-02-2445 minFilled to Flourish3. Therapy + Healing with Bethany RandolphIn this latest episode we have a WONDERFUL chat with Bethany, the new mental health practitioner @flourish_therapy!
In the first half we ask a bunch of fun questions so you call get to know her and the lovely human that she is.
Then we delve into some questions about therapy. It's like a refreshing drink from the wellspring of insight and goodness she offers!
We hope you enjoy this time getting to know Bethany and hearing each of our hearts about this special work we do.
If you are looking for a...
2023-02-011h 03Filled to Flourish2. Dysregulation + Parenting with Lelia SchottParenting can be one of the most dysregulating relationships and there are SUCH legitimate reasons why! We've invited parenting coach Lelia Schott from @leliaschott_synergyparenting on the podcast to explore what it is about parenting that makes you so vulnerable to dysregulation, how to better understand yourself as a parent, creating safety for yourself amidst the triggers of parentings, and how to cultivate a healing relationship with yourself and your child. You will find Lelia to be such a tender, encouraging soul, and we know this episode will be a breath of fresh air to weary parents. Lelia is a...
2023-01-2355 minFilled to Flourish1. Handmaids Tale Review: Effects of Abuse, Trauma and OppressionThis is a special episode where Lauren takes some time to highlight the powerful portrayals of the effects of trauma, abuse and oppression in the very moving series "Handmaids Tale". The series did a remarkable job showing how power, control and indoctrination quickly break down a persons sense of self and lead to utter despair and compliance. She covers some themes in the show: - conflicted loyalties - thorough indoctrination - making victims "complicit" in their abuse - authoritarian control, patriarchy - intense psychological abuse - religious, physical and sexual abuse (every kind is present) - the enduring love of a mo...
2023-01-0938 minFilled to Flourish22. Pain + the Body's Threat Detection System- Dr. Anna Redmond"Conventional medicine approaches pain in this funny way. It operates as if the mind and the body are separate, when we know that they are continuously and unquestionably connected." Join us for another incredible guest episode, this time as we talk with Dr. Anna Redmond about the mysterious and frustrating topic of chronic pain. Dr. Redmond brings much needed clarity on the brain science behind pain, the factors that contribute to whether or not pain becomes chronic, and how the nervous system is intimately involved. We share some of our personal experiences with chronic pain, and talk about the power...
2022-11-2357 minFilled to Flourish21. Learning About Your Parts - Christine DixonIFS- internal family systems- is an amazing therapeutic modality that brings dignity and understanding to all parts of you, particularly the ones that you have tried to suppress, manage, shame and erase for most of your life. Join us for this incredibly meaningful conversation with IFS educator Christine Dixon. You will discover the basic tenets of this popular approach to trauma healing, the 3 different types of parts all people have, polarization of parts, who Self is, how wounded parts become "unburdened" and the profound beauty of how healing happens.
Christine Dixon describes herself as "a wounded healer leading other wounded he...
2022-11-071h 15Filled to Flourish20. Slowing Down as a Way of Life- Jodi GrubbsOne of our 5 pillars of healing is "slowing down", and we have a wonderful interview for you with someone who has been intentionally cultivating the "slow life" for many years. Jodi shares, "I think we don't know what we're missing. Slow down and your passions will start coming out. You'll start seeing people in front of you in a totally different way. Your world will come alive!" With modern life so often running at a break neck speed, most everyone can benefit from slowing down their pace and prioritizing their true desires for their life. We've found when people c...
2022-10-241h 03Filled to Flourish19. Regulation 101This episode should have happened already- but we're just now getting to it! The episode all about nervous system REGULATION. We explore the 3 primary nervous system states (safe + social, sympathetic and shut down) including what they feel like, what is happening on a biological level and what the body might need in these different states. We share a few helpful ways to easily remember the states, as well as the life-changing concept of "story follows state". We even delve into our own personal default states and how these impact our marriage relationship. While certainly not comprehensive, this episode will f...
2022-10-061h 13Filled to Flourish18. Lauren's Brain Retraining JourneyIn this special episode Lauren lets you in to the private spaces of her story with chronic illness. She details the slow evolution of her failing health, the impact on herself, her marriage and family, and what ultimately propelled her into the healing modality of brain retraining. When she began brain retraining she had 70+ symptoms, multiple diagnoses, was down to eating only 10 foods, and had spent tens of thousands of dollars to get better. The first half of the episode is the time before she began brain retraining, while the second is her exciting process of recovery once she at...
2022-09-081h 02Filled to Flourish17. Betrayal at the Hands of Faith Leaders- Ryan RamseyThere is a uniquely devastating effect of being betrayed and harmed by leaders of faith. Ryan Ramsey so poignantly shares what contributes to the formation of environments where this type of harm is so pervasive, and how this deeply impacts a person's identity, worldview, mental health and faith. Join us for this sobering and worthwhile conversation on betrayal, grief and healing. Ryan Ramsey (M. Div) is a writer, chaplain, & soul care provider who focuses in the areas of religious abuse advocacy and grief support. He’s published in places such as Ekstasis Magazine and Fathom Magazine. You can follow him...
2022-08-2958 minFilled to Flourish16. Outgrowing Your ChildhoodThe field of Interpersonal Neurobiology teaches that the reasons you are feeling stuck relationally and personally as an adult, is very likely to have its roots in how your nervous system developed in those early years of your life. The evidence is mounting, and many are finding they can no longer ignore these realities churning beneath the surface of their lives. Join us as we sift through WHY our younger years have such a powerful impact on our adulthood, WHAT it can look like and HOW to move forward with this hard-to-accept knowledge. If you are interested in joining...
2022-08-0959 minFilled to Flourish15. Toxic Loyalty vs. Healthy CommitmentDo the relationships and systems you are a part of promote healthy commitment or toxic loyalty? Join us as we explore these distinctly different types of relationship, and discover the insidious nature of toxic loyalty masquerading as healthy commitment. We share what characterizes both, and the powerful question you can ask regarding reciprocity. This episode is a deep dive as we explore culture, systems, "covenant" relationships, coercive conditioning, how homogenous groups tend to promote toxic loyalty and how to empower yourself to make choices that honor your well-being.
"When people in positions of power...
2022-07-2556 minFilled to Flourish14. Healing in Less-Than-Ideal Environments- Megan D. Owen CoxEmbarking on a healing process is so hope-filled. Imagining a new life, with a whole new way of being in the world can bring such longing to aching hearts. But what if the situation and relationships you are a part of make healing feel virtually impossible? What if your cues of danger, outweigh your cues of safety. How do you heal when your nervous system is so stuck, your body so traumatized? Join us for the special episode as we explore these hard questions with a brilliant colleague, Megan. Megan D. Owen Cox is the owner of Mountain City Ch...
2022-07-111h 06
Filled to Flourish13. Gender Roles, Sexism + Patriarchy with Dr. Camden MorganteThis episode we had the opportunity to talk with Dr. Camden Morgante again, this time about male and female "gender roles", sexism and the ideology of patriarchy. We explore the continuums within complementarianism and egalitarianism thought, as well as the fruit of such systems. Dr. Camden explains the difference between benevolent sexism vs hostile sexism. We share some personal anecdotes of being judged when we didn't fit into the "traditional gender role" categories. Lots of great nuggets in this episode, we hope you enjoy it! | Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist and former college professor. She writes...
2022-06-2241 min
Held and Healed with Heather ElizabethMeet Luke & Lauren Smallcomb (Survivors, Advocates, Therapist, Nurse)In this episode, I talk with my dear friends, Luke & Lauren Smallcomb. They have combined their skill sets (trauma therapist and mind-body practitioner) to create Flourish Therapy. I learn new things from them every week and am excited to introduce you to them. Find their contact info for Facebook, Instagram, YouTube or their podcast through https://flourishtherapy.co/. Ladies, please join us on Facebook at Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse https://www.facebook.com/groups/616663178999357/. Or, find me at https://heatherelizabeth.org/.
2022-06-0950 minFilled to Flourish12. The Backlash of Purity Culture with Dr. Camden MorganteThis episode we have the privilege of talking with Dr. Camden Morgante about the backlash of purity culture in religious settings and in broader culture as a whole. We explore the history of how "purity culture" developed and gained influence, some of the myths associated with it, the unsexy nature of the obligation sex message, and how some peoples bodies can hold trauma from the messages that come from purity culture. While largely unintended, there has been a lot of fallout and harm that has come as a result of this movement. It is beyond time for a reckoning. Many...
2022-06-0842 minFilled to Flourish11. Finding Your Way Back to EmbodimentJoin us for the last webinar in our "Finding Your Way Back" series! In this webinar we explore the concept and practice of EMBODIMENT. What embodiment is. What the opposite of embodiment is. How we become cut off from our bodies. Barriers to developing an embodied sense of self. How trauma impacts how embodied we are. The benefits of embodiment. How embodiment helps us heal....and more! If you're just checking in to this series, make sure you take a listen to the other 4 Pillars of Healing. If you'd like to work with us 1-on-1, check out our services at w...
2022-05-3054 minFilled to Flourish10. Finding Your Way Back to Slowing DownThis is our 5th episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. Here we explore the concept and practice of "slowing down". Why slowing down feels bad. Barriers to slowing down. P.A.U.S.E. Our pace + the NS. The benefits of slowing down. How slowing down helps us heal. The invitation of slowing down. This is the 4th of Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. We will share about the last pillar next week. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube or on IG. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF", a...
2022-05-1650 minFilled to Flourish9. Finding Your Way Back to CompassionThis is our 4th episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. This is all about COMPASSION. What self-compassion looks like. Some barriers to self-compassion. How trauma changes us. The physical benefits of self-compassion. How compassion helps us heal. This is the 3rd of Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF", and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30".
2022-05-0946 minFilled to Flourish8. Finding Your Way Back to BeautyThis is our 3rd episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series. This is all about BEAUTY. The anatomy of beauty. The purpose of beauty. How trauma disconnects us from beauty. The invitation of beauty. The benefits of beauty....and more! We hope you enjoy and you FEEL an accessible invitation to enter more deeply into goodness and beauty. This is the 2nd in Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing. You can watch the presentation with the slides at our channel on YouTube. The discount code for Flourish Signature program is "30%OFF". and for the 2.5 Day Intensive it is "INTENSIVE30".
2022-04-2549 minFilled to Flourish7. Finding Your Way Back to AcceptanceThis is our 2nd episode in the "Finding Your Way Back" series.
This is all about ACCEPTANCE.
Why acceptance matters for healing.
What to/not to accept.
The place for storywork + grief in acceptance.
The VERY BEST part of acceptance.
How acceptance (and lack of) affects the nervous system.
This is the 1st pillar in Flourish's 5 Pillars of Healing.
If you'd like to checkout the presentation with slides: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-roPAJYxUA
If you want to join our next...
2022-04-1845 minFilled to Flourish6. Finding Your Way Back to SafetyWe're SO excited about this new series on "Finding Your Way Back". It is all about SAFETY. What it is. Why it matters so much. How it's lost. The journey of rediscovering it. We explore how the nervous system develops, attachment, coregulation, neuroception, regulation basics, threat + safety, and the vagus nerve. (This was produced as a webinar, that's why there are some pauses. If you want to follow along with the slides, head over to our YouTube channel and watch the video recording).
2022-04-1051 minFilled to Flourish5. Domestic Abuse + Learning to Live in Reality*Trigger Warning* (Please put yourself, and your needs first as you listen to this episode)
Abuse happens behind closed doors far more often than most recognize. While sometimes it's glaringly obvious- often the truth lies in the subtleties that society typically over looks or even justifies. Join us for a conversation with Samantha, a brilliant domestic abuse survivor, as she details her long and painful trauma journey in which she eventually realized her marriage was in fact, abusive. She shares with us how dangerous hope can be, the 3 things that must be present in a relationship that loves well, and...
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Filled to Flourish4. Effects of Abuse, From A Therapist's Experience- Danielle Farra BinghamIn this third episode in our abuse series, we talk with a (really amazing!) mental health professional, Danielle Farra Bingham, about her experience working with people who have suffered various abuses. She shares honestly about the many effects that abuse often has on people + how she sees people recovering from these painful traumas. It is such a wonderful conversation full of compassion, clarity + hope.
Danielle Farra Bingham is a licensed mental health therapist in the state of FL. She received her Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology from the University of Florida, her Masters in Mental Health Counseling from Liberty Uni...
2022-03-0343 minFilled to Flourish3. Spiritual Authority: When You Can't Just Follow the LeaderJoin us for our 3rd episode in this series as we explore abuse and it's impacts on our hearts + souls. Abi has a unique, but relatable story of being very involved in ministry and part of an intense training program for 7 years, and yet decided to pull out in light of things that were being asked of her that were not in alignment with what she knew was right for her. This began a long, and often painful journey of reorienting her beliefs, healing her heart and recalibrating her role in the global church. In light of her experiences she...
2022-02-141h 08Filled to Flourish2. 13 Patterns of Abuse - Part II- Heather ElizabethWelcome back to Part II as we hear from Heather Elizabeth on the rest of the 13 different patterns of abuse. Make sure you listen in to to Part I if you haven't yet. Heather is an abuse survivor and Certified Faith Based Abuse Advocate through Give Her Wings Academy. She is a group coach, podcaster, facilitator of Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse, + host of Safer Spaces Summit and Held & Healed Retreat. Contact her here: http://HeatherElizabeth.org + listen to her podcast here: shorturl.at/elEL0 Make sure to check out Safer Spaces Summit 2022: https://heatherelizabeth.org/page/safer-spaces-summit-2022
2022-01-2945 minFilled to Flourish1. 13 Patterns of Abuse - Part I- Heather ElizabethAbuse is a pervasive + destructive element in so many relationships and communities. Awareness of what these dynamics look like is so crucial, as the way through towards healing is found in understanding, boundaries + appropriate expectations. Join us as we hear from Heather Elizabeth on the 13 different patterns of abuse. Heather is an abuse survivor and Certified Faith Based Abuse Advocate through Give Her Wings Academy. She is a group coach, podcaster,
facilitator of Held & Healed: Christian Women Rebuilding After Abuse, + host of Safer Spaces Summit and Held & Healed Retreat. Contact her here: http://HeatherElizabeth.org + listen to her podcast here...
2022-01-0952 minFilled to Flourish31. Becoming All Things with Michelle ReyesOn our journey of becoming an emotionally healthy adult, we often begin to recognize the way we've engaged relationally and culturally with others hasn't been from a place of health! Today we share an amazing conversation we had with Michelle Reyes, author of "Becoming All Things: How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Connections Across Cultures". We explore why we NEED cross-cultural relationships, how to have better conversations with people, when to walk away, knowing our own cultural story, offering people alternatives to racist rhetoric and getting to the heart of what people feel so we can have meaningful conversations. Her...
2021-11-2940 minFilled to Flourish30. Messy Middle with Kate BoydJoin us for this episode with a really special guest, Kate Boyd! We jump into what it's like to realize you're a #messymiddlechristian, the differences between deconstruction and deconverting, what is "disentangling", examining the parts of our faith that are cultural and the power of asking questions. Kate is a writer, Bible teacher, and host of the Happy & Holy podcast. She helps believers who find themselves in the messy middle between loving the church and leaving it to more confidently walk the lines between doubt and certainty and faith and action with love and grace for all. She has traveled...
2021-11-1542 minFilled to Flourish29. What is A Glass Child? Interview with A Special 12 Year Old GuestOn this very special episode we interview our most beloved guest ever, our daughter, Tessa. We discuss the specifics of what a glass child is, as well as how to better love the glass children in our lives. We are so thankful for Tessa's interest and bravery to tackle this topic publicly. She longs to help other kids with similar stories to hers, and we think this episode is a terrific step in that direction.
2021-10-2936 minFilled to Flourish28. Conversations About Race: Why Understanding Whiteness MattersJoin us for our last episode in our series "Conversations About Race", as we deep dive into what it means to be "white" socially, culturally + relationally. We are joined by our dear friend, Maryah. Maryah is a RN by profession, a virtual Spanish teacher by necessity and expat living in the Dominican Republic with her multi-racial (white, black and biracial) and multi-cultural (white, Dominican-Haitian) family. She and her husband are currently navigating the waters of raising their biracial child in this up-side-down world. We are so thankful for yet another distinct perspective as we engage in this important conversation on...
2021-10-081h 30Filled to Flourish27. Conversations About Race: An Interview with Three Multiracial-AmericansThe wait is TOTALLY worth it for our first three-guest episode! Join us as our guests delve into the (often) complicated journey of being a multi-racial/biracial person. We explore identity, belonging, labels and potential emotional health challenges related to being multiracial. They graciously allow us a peek into some specific stories of racism, microaggressions and fetishization that they have experienced. Often glossed over, we hope this episode creates more space for multiracial people to have the well-deserved, overdue, seat at the proverbial "table".
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Our Power Is Within: Heal Chronic Illness & Pain55: Learning About Attachment Theory Changed Our Lives w/ Lauren & Luke SmallcombOur guests today are Luke & Lauren Smallcomb. Luke and Lauren live and work in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Luke is a Clinical Counselor who specializes in trauma, story-work, addictions, enneagram and polyvagal theory. Lauren is a RN and Nutritional Therapist who works with clients with autoimmune diseases and other chronic illnesses. She is currently retraining her limbic system and experiencing incredible shifts after 15 years of chronic Illness. They have 4 kids through adoption and birth, and two cuddly dogs. They cohost the Filled to Flourish podcast together, and love sharing their life and emotional health insights!
To connect with...
2021-09-141h 27Filled to Flourish26. Conversations About Race: An Interview with Two African- AmericansIn our second episode in the series "Conversations About Race" we have a really meaningful chat with good friends of ours. We explore the influence of fear on our beliefs, biases, being underrepresented as a minority, the impact of racism children, generational trauma, a growth mindset and more!
Daniel begins the episode sharing how we first met, and what my less-than-desirable response was at first, all the way through to how we developed the amazing friendship we share today. It's an awesome episode you want want to miss!
A native of Aiken, SC, Jade Nealious is a Graduate from the Uni...
2021-08-311h 11Filled to Flourish25. Conversations About Race: An Interview with Two Asian AmericansWelcome to the first episode of our podcast series where we will explore different conversations related to race. Listen in as we talk with dear friends of ours and explore how Asian-American's are not a monolith, the dynamics of being "the model minority", food injury, majority/minority culture, anti-blackness, colorism and more...We are deeply thankful for their willingness to share a peek into their heart and experience. What a gift this episode will be to so many! Stay tuned for the next two episodes in this series.
2021-08-181h 14Filled to Flourish24. Regulate + Reframe: 1 Month Parenting Challenge!Parenting has hands down been the most consistently challenging part of our adult lives. It has stretched, shaped, humbled and overwhelmed us over and over again! The more we learn about brain health + attachment, the more we desire to see our day-to-day parenting align with our understanding of human relationships. It is out of this deep desire that our 1 Month Parenting Challenge was born. Wanting to take your relationship with your kids (+ yourself as you parent your kids) to a whole other level?! Listen in + considering joining us this month for this exciting challenge. We really believe you will find...
2021-07-2929 minFilled to Flourish23. Inner Child WorkA really amazing part of journeying towards better emotional health is learning to attune our ear to the voice of our inner child. This is the vulnerable part of us that carries our deepest wounds and unmet needs. Most of the time people learn to stifle and silence that voice, only for it to be still very much alive, buried deep under layers and layers, years and years, of painful avoidance. If our inner child wounds are not tended to, the pain will inevitably come out side ways, in hurt and destruction to ourselves and those around us. While a...
2021-07-1336 minFilled to Flourish22. One of the Most Revolutionary Conflict Tools: Content vs. ProcessConflict with our partners is often one of the most terrifying, vulnerable and challenging parts of being in an intimate relationship. It has this impressive power to bring out the most protective, panicked and seemingly illogical parts of us. Yet, what we say and do during conflict is directly connected to the massively big feelings we're swimming (sometimes drowning?) in. As the curtain gets pulled back and you get to peer behind the scenes, you will have this new found access to your partner's heart, and a pathway to a more human way of resolving even the most painful relationship...
2021-06-2149 minFilled to Flourish21. 15 Gems from 15 Years of MarriageIn honor of recently celebrating 15 years of marriage (woo-hoo!) we decided to think over the most meaningful insights we've learned along the way! Enjoy as we share what has meant the most to us, what we wish we knew earlier on, and what principles we have become the foundation of our relationship.
2021-06-0146 minFilled to Flourish20. The Enneagram + SexSex is a profoundly intimate experience with another human, and the way we engage in our sex life is not random or generic. There are so many facets to our sexual journey + experience, and we believe our enneagram type is absolutely part of that! In this episode we begin a conversation about the intersection of our enneagram numbers and our sex lives. We took a survey with a small sample size (around 3 dozen+ participants), in which we pull some interesting data and possible connections from. Otherwise, we are simply starting this conversation with the hope of bringing more insight and...
2021-05-2052 minFilled to Flourish19. The Self Awareness Tool to Rule Them All- Enneagram Part IIIn this episode we chat about the rest of the Enneagram numbers: 5, 6, 7 and 8. Enjoy listening and stayed tuned for the next episode in this enneagram series.
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍Our guest on this episode is a dear friend and wonderful human, Katie Miller. Katie is life consultant and Enneagram coach with a strong background in family and leadership counseling. Her joy is in meeting people in their mess and empowering them to walk in fullness of life with Jesus. Katie and her husband Ben live in Upstate NY, where together they direct a discipleship school focused on the heart. Katie does individual and group enneagram coaching, and life c...
2021-05-131h 11Filled to Flourish18. The Self Awareness Tool to Rule Them All - Enneagram IntroThe Enneagram has been around for a L-O-N-G time, but in the last few decades, and even more in the last few years, the Ennegram has exploded in many circles where self-awareness is valued and loving others well is held in highest regard. This tool has been tremendously helpful to so many, and we are THRILLED to be able to introduce you to the wonder of the Enneagram, or if you've already jumped in, help you deepen your insight.
Our guest on this episode is a dear friend and wonderful human, Katie Miller. Katie is life consultant and Enneagram coach w...
2021-05-061h 13Filled to Flourish17. What to Do When Your Attachment Style is ActivatedAs we're earning a secure attachment, and growing in our understanding of our stories, we sometimes find ourselves back into seasons where we feel all our old vulnerabilities and insecurities calling the shots relationally. This is completely normal and doesn't mean we've gone all the way back to square one! Join us as we share personally how this might look, what seasons of life can often revert us back to our default attachment style and how to find a way forward with compassion and affirmation.
2021-04-3037 minFilled to Flourish16. Parenting: Attachment 1st, God 2nd.**Shock Alert** We know, we know. But before you write this off, we invite you to listen in as we explore how our human connection in the earliest years of life goes on to affect the rest of our lives, and in light of this how important healthy attachment should be in parenting our children.
2021-04-1443 minFilled to Flourish15. Story-Informed ParentingWe *may* have avoided this episode, as parenting is often excruciatingly painful for us to be faithful in. We desire for the Filled to Flourish podcast to always be an authentic outpouring of our lives, and we want our content about parenting to be no different. But, we finally felt "ready" to get started on this parenting conversation. We believe learning that we have a story, and that it matters, is at the foundation of our ability to parent from a place of wholeness and connection, instead of reactivity and hurt. If we don't bring awareness into our parenting of why...
2021-04-0542 minFilled to Flourish14. Optimal Brain Health 🧠Emotional + mental health are intricately connected to physical brain health. While we seek healing and wholeness interpersonally and relationally, it's wise to give some attention to the health of our physical brain as well. Listen in as I, a Nutritional Therapist, share the top 5 priorities for optimal Brain Health + some bonus material including supplement options and brain-healthy food principles.
2021-03-2738 minFilled to Flourish13. Mental Health in MarriageMany of us enter marriage not deeply aware of who we are yet, let alone who our spouse is. Mental illness often begins to take root in childhood, and yet the awareness and acceptance of our mental health challenges can come decades later. Our mental health, or lack of, has profound implications on the many facets of our marriage relationship and life. When these challenges are experienced in the context of a marriage relationship, shame and suffering abound, and we become further and further isolated from the connection we crave. The lack of understanding and framework of what it is w...
2021-03-2049 minFilled to Flourish12. The Desecration of Spiritual Abuse, Part IISo many people don't ever recover from the brutal effects of spiritual abuse. They may go on to live "normal" lives, but the impact of such intimate abuse continuously haunts their souls, and brings destruction to their relationships. How does one get out from under it? How does one escape it's merciless grip, even years after leaving it behind. Listen in to Part II as our guest Mary Rosenberger shares the rest of her story of being in a spiritually abusive ministry as a child and into adulthood, and how she eventually finds new life. Read more/contact her on h...
2021-03-011h 22Filled to Flourish11. The Desecration of Spiritual Abuse, Part IDesecrate: to divert from a sacred to a profane use or purpose.
Our spirits were made for a sacred union with God and others. When these tender places of connection are manipulated and exploited, the impact on our hearts and lives simply cannot be understated. The disillusionment, trauma and utter hopelessness becomes the suffocating air the victim breaths, often with no foreseeable escape. Join us as Mary Rosenberger shares her gripping, heart-wrenching story of spiritual abuse from birth - 24 years old, and marvel at the resilience of the human spirit against all odds to heal and reconnect with the Living G...
2021-02-231h 13Filled to Flourish10. Chronic Illness in MarriageWhen you enter into marriage, you willingly choose to accept all that your spouse is bringing to your union. "Good times and bad, sickness and in health". Some of these darker things we are already aware of when we say "yes". But so many aspects of our lives have yet to unfold. Being married to someone with chronic health problems brings uniquely difficult and isolating trials. So much misunderstanding, so many lacking answers, so little clarity moving forward. Add in insecure attachment styles to the already complicated mix, and you will find yourself with a recipe for hurt, defensiveness and...
2021-02-0438 minFilled to Flourish9. Attachment and SexSurely the mystery and draw to sex has been from the beginning of time, spanning every country and culture, age and gender. How many songs, books, and movies have been created in an attempt to capture its beauty and wonder? Being so sought after and pursued relentlessly by the human heart, why is it that fulfilling, life-changing sex is still so evasive? Why are so many of our deepest desires left unmet? Our longings unfullfilled? Maybe sex really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's really for the more carnal types, the unspiritual or unintellectual among us. Or ma...
2021-01-2645 minFilled to Flourish8. What Do We Need From Our Spouse?We had the great privilege of having a conversation with a dear friend Casey Lee, the counselor and owner of Rooted Hearts Counseling in Columbia, South Carolina. Casey is such a caring and passionate counselor, and he shares with us what he sees greatly benefiting relationships in his work. What we all long for is to feel more secure in our relationships, through experiencing the ABCS of Acceptance, Belonging, Comfort and Safety. When the person we love is emotionally "ARE" (accesible, responsive, engaging), we can share our attachment fears, needs and longings with them, then we can engage in a c...
2021-01-1843 minFilled to Flourish7. Finding Your VoiceAn important outcome of gaining access and awareness of our story is that we begin to find our voice, sometimes for the first time in our lives. It is in finding our voice we learn to share our desires, needs and heart with those we love. This voice discovery gives us new courage to create healthy boundaries and avoid the extremes of codependency or being emotionally unavailable. We also navigate vulnerability in the context of unsafe relationships, and share some of our thoughts on divorce.
2021-01-1249 minFilled to Flourish6. Making Space for Your Spouse's StoryDeep down many people understand that they do indeed have a story, and it impacts their present reality. But what about our spouse's stories? Sometimes our stories are just enough to handle... how do we enter into a deep connection with another human and bear the weight of their story too? Making space for our spouses story is a tremendous privilege and gift of love, while it also has the power to crush us beneath it. Join us as we share an intimate part of our story, and hear the redemptive thread of the pursuit of love and connection woven t...
2021-01-041h 07Filled to Flourish5. Do I Have a Story? And Why Does it Even Matter?We grow up hearing our story as the first story we're ever told, and then we begin centering ourselves in the stories we start writing as little kids. However, somewhere along the way our heart shuts the door and locks our story away. Forgetting it, denying it, letting others write it for us....deadening a part of our heart and missing out the intrinsic glory we hold. Listen in as we explore the power of "story", and gain the courage to look at your story in a new, transforming light.
2020-12-1556 minFilled to Flourish4. The Vulnerability of Relational BidsAs anyone who has ever loved someone knows, intimate relationships bring profound vulnerability. The relational bids that we exchange have the power to create close connection, or painful distance. Join us as we explore the different potential responses to these requests to connect, and how they significantly impact the strength and intimacy of a relationship. *Episode contains conversation that might not be suitable for little ears.
2020-12-0859 minFilled to Flourish3. Insecure Attachment TypesWhat is an insecure attachment and how is it formed? Join us as we explore the difficult topic regarding how our lives and relationships are greatly impacted from the development of insecure attachment styles as a young child. Gain insight to whether you may have an anxious attachment, avoidant attachment or anxious-avoidant (also know as disorganized) attachment style. We also explore our attachment styles connection to our ability to regulate our internal world, and the maladaptive behaviors emotional dysregulation can lead to. Awareness of your attachment style can be the beginning of profound transformation for your emotional health and your cl...
2020-12-0153 minFilled to Flourish2. Attachment 101Attachment... emotional regulation...triggers? What do these words really mean and why do they matter? Join us as we discuss the purpose of early childhood connections and the impact they have on our future relationships.
2020-11-2345 minFilled to Flourish1. Get to Know UsWelcome to Filled to Flourish! We are so glad you are here. We hope you will experience insight and compassion as your emotional health gets taken to the next level! Learn about our story and our passion for heart growth.
2020-11-2112 min