Shows
HorizontalI Dream Of Space BirdsMeg and Mason kick things off with a chat about the Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day! What are these two single gals up to this year? A whole lot of nothin. Then, we dive into some crazy Reddit dream stories. The first dream explores desires and disappointment, while the second takes a more whimsical and surreal turn—featuring birds flying on broomsticks in space, a dark amalgamation monster, and even a hand-drawn illustration for our YouTube subscribers. We wrap things up with a special announcement—stick around until the end to hear our exciting news! 💖
2025-02-1639 min
Horizontal"2025 Is Kicking Me In The Balls."We kick off the Ep. with a quick life check-in (send some love to your girls y'all). Then, we break down the release of Lady Gaga’s brand-new single, “ABRACADABRA” 🪄✨—sharing our first impressions and the buzz surrounding it. Later, we dive into the hilarious early 2000s mockumentary, Best in Show 🏆🐶—which you may be shocked to know MEG HAD NEVER SEEN. We’re skipping dream interpretations this week (please send us your dreams!!), but we promise to be back on track soon. Until then, enjoy this pop culture–packed episode! 💖
2025-02-0925 min
HorizontalKendall And Roman ForeverMason breaks down the latest in pop culture—from Academy Award-nominated bros Jeremy Strong and Kieran Culkin’s starkly different responses to their Oscar nods, to Carrie Underwood’s cringey performance in D.C. Then, settle in for a dream deep-dive: Meg shares her nocturnal adventure about rescuing her parents’ sweet Westie Jack mix, Sebastian. It’s a short, relaxed episode—so grab a blanket, get comfy, and tune in for a cozy chat with Horizontal.
2025-02-0225 min
HorizontalAre you a Traitor or a Faithful?Join Mason and Meg for their second remote episode as they dive deep into reality TV and share too much about their lives. First up, they tackle the hit competition show “The Traitors,” hosted by Alan Cumming, and pose a burning question: are you a Traitor or a Faithful? Next, Meg relives her experience of learning to drive a school bus at 16. Finally, brace yourself for Mason’s wild dream analysis, featuring an unexpected kidnapper: Jack Black! From pop culture breakdowns to questionable personal anecdotes, this episode has it all. Don’t miss it, y'all!
2025-01-2630 min
HorizontalShould I cancel my date for a natural disaster?This episode is a bit different — it's our first remote podcast! The first half of the pod we talk about the LA fires and Mason's experience navigating the chaos of the past two weeks. We dive into the looming possibility of a TikTok ban and explore the mass migration to a new Chinese social media app, Rednote. There is also a fair amount of dating gossip — mostly on Mason's part. It's a very cozy ep (on the longer side). We're trying a longer format for our new Sunday series. Meg doesn't have time to cut it down to 30 mins anym...
2025-01-1953 min
HorizontalWhy Is Everyone Reading Fairy Smut?Strap in for Mason's passionate pitch for the wildly popular fairy smut series A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. Then Meg introduces us to the soulful sounds of up-and-coming singer Lola Young, sharing some lyrics from one of her most popular songs Messy (it's blowing up on TikTok!!). Things take a whimsical turn when the ladies interpret a dream from Meg’s mom about casually bumping into Glen Powell at an antique show in Texas and setting Meg up with him—because why not? It’s also a bittersweet moment as we mark our las...
2025-01-0832 min
Horizontal2025 Resolutions: Do Less, Lie DownHappy 2025! Meg and Mason ring in the New Year with fresh resolutions, analyze a questionable TikTok-famous Muppet, and break down a dream from Meg’s dad—Horizontal’s first Baby Boomer submission! Pour yourself a beverage, grab a blanket, and sprawl into the new year with the gals at Horizontal. 💖
2025-01-0128 min
HorizontalWe're Starting A Bell ChoirThis special holiday episode of Horizontal is full of surprises. The gals exchange gifts and open up about relationship dealbreakers—including families breaking into song or reciting the Pledge of Allegiance before dinner. Next, it's time to dive deep into the weird world of TikTok’s Doorknob Girl and her wildly bizarre crafting videos. Finally, the ladies interpret a listener's dreams about feeling unsupported during pregnancy and encountering a longtime crush—only to wake up just as things were getting interesting!!! Put your feet up and join the movement of non-movement—after all, it’s Christmas. ✨
2024-12-1833 min
HorizontalThe Cruel Dramatic Irony Of Life Exists EternallyPart 2 with actor and singer, Drew Carr! This week on Horizontal, we explore the fantastical world of TikTok’s latest viral siren—Squishy (@thesquishycollective), who gently serenades us with the intensity of an evil mermaid avenging her only child's death. Then Drew peels back the layers of his psyche, unraveling the meaning behind his dreams about death. And finally, stick around for an existential conversation about being yourself and confronting the cruel dramatic irony that bubbles beneath the surface of life eternally. Watch "Jennifer and Chicken" Web Series Watch "Barden and Sarah Start A Pandemic" Web S...
2024-12-1125 min
HorizontalDrew Carr Tells AllThis special episode of Horizontal features our very first in-person guest—Drew Carr! Drew is one of Mason's high school best friends, a talented actor and singer now living in New York City. Drew gets horizontal with the gals to spill the tea on his child acting career, including his big break on Criminal Minds. Things get spicy as Drew reads down his ex and we dive into the latest drama surrounding a certain infamous cannibal and his unsolicited new podcast. (A vasectomy is involved.) To wrap it up, we explore the wild, waxed world of...
2024-12-0426 min
HorizontalThanks For Nothing: A Thanksgiving SpecialThis Thanksgiving, Horizontal serves up questionable family traditions, holiday anxiety, and a side of Xanax turkey (the secret to survival). Meg fangirls over creator Jason Rodelo and his chaotic dance crew, then Mason unpacks her mom’s dream about the family starving on Thanksgiving. Get horizontal with your favorite gals and join the movement of non-movement! 💖
2024-11-2728 min
HorizontalOne Woman's Trash Is Another Woman's TemuThis week on Horizontal, Meg and Mason share an astrology chat, revealing Mason’s deep-seated anger issues, and they uncover Meg’s Hogwarts House (Hufflepuff with Ravenclaw tendencies). Next, they break down the viral Temu croissant lamp TikTok 🥐✨, take a closer look at Temu shopping trends, and discuss why the site is trashy with a capital T. Then, things get spooky—Mason and Meg interpret a listener’s dream about guarding a fireplace, only to have a burglar sneak in through the chimney! Finally, they wrap up with an existential conversation about values and doing your best.
2024-11-2034 min
HorizontalBig Justice And The Rizzler Are Huge With MillennialsIn this episode, Meg and Mason dive into the viral phenomenon of TikTok superstars The Rizzler and Big Justice, unpacking their internet fame and the trends shaping youth culture today. Meg shares a personal dream about being late to the airport, sparking a dream interpretation about anxiety and the symbolism of time. The ladies also discuss staying positive during tough times, finding humor in exhaustion, and navigating life’s challenges with optimism. Tune in for a tempting blend of comedy, internet culture, and dream analysis that will keep you giggling and googling. Get horizontal and join the movement of no...
2024-11-1325 min
HorizontalWe Love A Grey GardenHappy Halloween! In this spooky episode, Mason and Meg venture into the wonderfully bizarre world of Grey Gardens. Join them in a charming cosplay of Big Edie and Little Edie Beale — once-glamorous New York socialites who found themselves living in a crumbling Hamptons mansion. Their eccentric lives inspired not only a cult classic documentary but also a movie, play, and TV sketches. We wrap up with a real gem from Mason and Meg’s middle school journal: a poem that, perhaps, should have been left unread.
2024-10-3025 min
HorizontalHurricane Hype & A Poem We Wrote in 2007In this episode of Horizontal, hosts Meg and Mason dissect the viral social media chaos brought on by Hurricanes Helene and Milton. Then, brace yourselves as they resurrect a middle school poem, "The Bite of the Cold Air," where they reflect on the first cold day of fall with all the angst of a tween discovering seasonal change for the first time. To wrap things up, unwind with a soothing guided visualization where you transform into a mermaid, drifting through calm, serene waters. Tune in for a mix of viral internet culture, fall vibes, and a bit of aquatic...
2024-10-2322 min
HorizontalTrolling Scammers (feat. Professor Wintin)This week we dive into a fun TikTok scam that Meg recently experienced. Then we're joined by renowned computer science Professor Wintin to uncover the depths of the modern social media scam. Later we interpret a listener dream about burning cupcakes and successfully cooking bacon. We'll wrap it up with another classic guided meditation.
2024-10-1636 min
HorizontalMoo Deng & Pesto Are So Hot Right NowMason and Meg unravel the gripping saga of the internet’s most lovable new celebrities — Moo Deng the hippo and Pesto the Penguin. Who are they? Why are they famous? And most importantly, WHERE can we buy their merch? Then, we dissect a listener’s dream in which the streets of LA inexplicably morph into purple goo. And finally, we take you on a riveting, improvised guided visualization involving a cruise chip, dirty martinis, and a towel sculpture.
2024-10-0923 min
HorizontalTeam Edward vs. Team Jacob, 16 Years LaterIn this episode, we bravely revisit the cinematic masterpiece that is The Twilight Saga. Hosts Mason and Meg engage in a civil but urgent debate: Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. Will their grown-up perspectives add any sense to the chaos that gripped Twilight fans 16 years ago? No. Next, they dive into a dream interpretation, tackling a listener’s peculiar dream about streets awash with purple goo. To close, the episode offers a relaxing guided meditation to help you unwind after the day’s horrors.
2024-10-0228 min
HorizontalMormon Wives, Jojo Siwa, And A Dream About Being RobbedSettle in as Mason and Meg deliver another riveting episode from the heart of lounge culture. This week, we explore the hottest new Reality TV show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Discover how these women are subtly dismantling the patriarchy, one passive-aggressive Tiktok at a time. Next, we delve into a listener’s campfire robbery dream, which teaches us that life’s small pleasures are worth appreciating. And finally, we round things off with an impromptu guided meditation. Tune in if you must.
2024-09-2526 min
HorizontalThe Gnome War & Public TikTok Breakups 🧙♂️This week Mason and Meg journey down an internet rabbit hole for the books: The Gnome War. Discover how one viral video blossomed into the epic saga of Gnomes vs. Knights. Then, we dive into the most unhinged TikTok breakup where an average Joe publicaly shames his cheating ex-wife. Finally, the hosts interpret two perplexing listener dreams -- one near infidelity and one swept away by a storm. Tune in for humor as arid as the Kalahari, desperately quippy bits, and all things trending. 🌪️💔
2024-09-1832 min
HorizontalMason Off Her Meds And Meg Falling AsleepJoin Mason and Meg as they dive into the latest TikTok trend, "Coffee Coffee Dingle Dingle," brought to you by the enigmatic Marty Miller. Discover how even the Teletubbies couldn't resist jumping on this viral bandwagon and why Gen Z is now running corporate TikTok accounts with the subtlety of a bipedal lobster chasing a gay man down the PCH. Stick around as they dissect two listener dreams: one about a disaster at a theme park and another featuring giant walking lobsters. Because who doesn't love a good dream analysis with a side of digital absurdity? Written...
2024-09-1131 min
HorizontalIs Lying Down The New Standing Up?Mason and Meg take a trip down memory lane, sharing the story of how we became childhood best friends and how we created the Horizontal Podcast almost 20 years later. We deep dive into the recent TikTok trend, "Demure", exploring what it means and how it took over internet culture. Later, we get personal by interpreting two of our own dreams, blending dream analysis with a just a skosh of humor. Get horizontal with us for funny conversations, entertainment insights, and a closer look at the trends and topics dominating the cultural zeitgeist.
2024-09-0431 min
Yenta!IS SQUIRTING REAL??! with Mason SmajstrlaMason Smajstrla (standup comedian, Jamie Lynn Spears impersonator) is here to bless the Yentas with a deep dive into squirting. Mason is a reality TV nerd, brilliant teacher, and most importantly… the nepo-baby of Fredericksburg, Texas.
We Yenta about:
SQUIRTING. VISCOSITY? VOLUME? DO YOU NEED A TARP?
Murder documentaries
Tips for content creators
Growing up Christian… also butt stuff
Do you think about dead people when you masturbate?
Mason only wants to f*ck silent hairy men
2 months of dating in LA = marriage
Nick and Vanessa Lachey should go to prison
Mason was canceled in high school
Raye got...
2024-04-1859 min
The Paper JamEpisode 72: Lululemon (feat. Mason Smajstrla)Listen to this episode at your ath-leisure! Get it?? This week Mike & Kenny are joined by comedian/actor Mason Smjstrla to discuss their investment in Lululemon. They discuss musical theater, hot-girl walks, and the divisive culture of yoga pants.
2022-09-151h 10
Florida Vs...Texas (Rd 2) w/ Mason SmajstrlaMason Smajstrla is a comedian, actor, and Texan. Today she brings us back to her hometown of Fredericksburg to tell us all about running around naked at wine bars, Super Wal Mart, and The Sea World in Texas (WHAT?!!!).
Plugs:
Mason on Instagram + Tik Tok + November 8th catch Mason at "The Heroic Italian" for a night of stand-up comedy.
Segments:
Celebs in Toen + Onel Last Thing / One Good Thing + "Tattoos!"
Sponsors:
www.TotallyGoodTime.com - USE CODE FLORIDAVS15 FO...
2021-10-291h 05
Sessions With Mary JaneSessions With Mary Jane Ep. 39 Comedian and Actress Mason Smajstrla (@MasonSmaj) : Child ActorsReena, Brendan and Jordan have on Comedian and Actress Mason Smajstrla (@masonsmaj) to talk about comedy scenes, different parts of America, the biz, family bonds and more.
They challenge her to come up with as many child actors as possible.
Catch Mason live by following her on Instagram and TikTok @masonsmaj and on Twitter @masonsmaj777
Come see one of our shows by buying tickets at latenighthump.com/shows
Show Dates
7.21.21 | Trenton, NJ | NJ Weedman’s Joint | Late Night Hump | 8 - 10 PM
7.22.21 | Roselle, NJ | Jordan Fried at The Tu...
2021-07-211h 29