Matt Engel - Podcast Details

Shows

The Church3.0 Podcast From Data to Discipleship: How Churches Can Measure What Truly Matters — with Matt Engel | Church3.0What happens when churches start thinking like innovators? In this episode, Data Strategist and Gloo Executive Matt Engel joins us to unpack the mindsets, models, and split-testing strategies reshaping church leadership today. If you’ve wondered how churches can build trust, engage new guests, or make better decisions using real data, this conversation is a must-watch.Matt breaks down the shift from broadcast-style ministry to co-created, curated experiences—and shows why pastors who embrace experimentation will lead the next wave of church impact. From first-time guest retention to generosity journeys, to designing ministry innovation teams, this episode brid...

2025-11-2743 min

The Red Letter Disciple 101: Does the LCMS Have a Future? Matt Engel on the Data and the Way Forward After 1,054 Lutheran Leaders RespondedIn this episode, Matt Engel, a data expert from Gloo, unpacks the survey data of 1054 Lutheran leaders that recently completed “The State of the LCMS” survey through Red Letter Living. He talks about if the survey is reliable, and what the results mean for the future of our LCMS denomination. To learn more about the podcast or access the show notes, visit www.redletterpodcast.com.Today’s episode is brought to you by Red Letter Living. We create resources to help the church produce greater disciples. This season we are launching a series of videos...

2025-09-161h 12

Holstein Connections Creating Their Own Luck: with Joe and Matt EngelGet an inside look at Luck-E Holsteins from brothers Joe and Matt Engel. Named this year's Elite Breeder Award recipient, Denny and Beth, Matt, and Joe and Margaret Engel have excelled in breeding Registered Holsteins with exceptional production and components, tremendous udders, strength from end to end, and the ability to thrive in any environment. In this episode, the Engel brothers discuss the farm’s history, their breeding philosophy, cow families, show memories, the importance of mentorship, and much more.

2025-07-3135 min

#12minconvos Matt O’Neill: How to Overcome Negative Emotions and Live a Joyful Life /Ep 4073Matt O’Neill teaches us that happiness is a choice, even when life gets tough. His work has positively impacted the lives of over 100,000 people worldwide. As a recognized leader in happiness education, Matt teaches audiences how to live a life of 'Conscious Happiness'. His work includes the "Good Mood Revolution" book and podcast where he explains the importance of conquering negative thought patterns while embracing habits that lead to a happier life. Matt's teaching isn't just theory, it's tested in the real world too. Matt and his wife have 4 young children and they run tw...

2025-06-1113 min

#12minconvos Matt Kutz: Navigating 3D Thinking and Contextual Intelligence /Ep 4072Dr. Matt Kutz - Ph.D. in Global Leadership, award-winning author, award-winning educator, researcher, and speaker. Matt is most excited about being a husband, dad, and grandpa and in his spare time is insanely passionate about helping people gain perspective and overcome the adversity and uncertainty that life brings. He does that through helping other to develop an EPIC mindset and practice Contextual Intelligence and 3D Thinking. Check him out at his website www.matthewkutz.com Matt Kutz's Website LinkedIn

2025-06-1113 min

#12minconvos Matt Rehm: on Podcasting’s Evolution, Disruption & Rediscovery /Ep 3962Matt Rehm is an entrepreneur and consultant. He started one of the first podcast personality directories (now closed) and founded Flyp10 (Flip-Ten). Flyp10 helps gymnasts get fast, detailed, and expert feedback on their routines. Users upload a video of their routines from their mobile device and get a deduction-by-deduction scoring breakdown by top-rated judges. When he's not working on Flyp10, Matt helps companies solve various supply chain challenges. In his free time, Matt and his wife Lynne enjoy volunteering, church, camping, DIY projects and spending time with their friends, family and two dogs. Matt and Lynne live in the...

2025-05-2913 min

#12minconvos Matt Young: From Social Media Guru to Men's Mental Health Advocate: A Story of Transformation and Finding Your Purpose /Ep 3560Matt is the Founder of Who Needs Instructions, which is a not-for-profit organisation that simply wants to get "Men Talking More". As a former broadcaster and social media manager, Matt has been in the world of communication for most of his career, but these days, he's focused on improving communication for Men, as they're generally not as free and as willing to talk about the stuff that really matters, their thoughts and their feelings. Previous Episode 2025 (2019)

2025-03-1313 min

#12minconvos Matt Gagnon: From Near-Death Experience to Rising Star: A Story of Resilience and Triumph /EP 3408Matt Gagnon is a passionate coach, speaker, and musician dedicated to empowering others. Over the past four years, he has faced life-changing experiences, including a near-death battle with COVID-19 and delivering a TEDx talk. Matt is deeply committed to personal growth, the power of routines, and redefining success beyond societal expectations. He recently spoke at The Gathering in Banff, an event aligned with his mission to inspire and serve. In addition to his coaching work, Matt has embraced music, performing regularly and sharing the stage with his talented son. LI; https://www.linkedin.com/in/mattgagnon1/

2025-02-2411 min

Coffee & Cap Rates: Commercial Real Estate Podcast 101. Challenges Facing the Rent Stabilized Market featuring Kenny Burgos & Matt EngelIn his latest podcast, Shimon Shkury, President and Founder of Ariel Property Advisors, explored the challenges facing owners of rent stabilized buildings with guests Kenny Burgos, CEO of New York Apartment Association, a landlord group created by the merger of the Rent Stabilization Association (RSA) and Community Housing Improvement Program (CHIP), and Matt Engel, President of Langsam Property Services Corp. and one of the executive members of the New York Apartment Association. Topics included the impact of the 2019 HSTPA regulation on rent stabilized properties; the need for the government to incentivize private investment in rent stabilized buildings; rising expenses...

2025-01-2120 min

Boroughs & Burbs, the National Real Estate Conversation The Importance of Property Management with Matt Felner & Dylan Pichulik | Boroughs & Burbs Ep. 153In Season 4, Episode 153 of Boroughs & Burbs: The National Real Estate Conversation, hosts John Engel and Roberto Cabrera speak with property management experts Matt Felner of Felner Corporation and Dylan Pichulik of XL Property Management. They dive into how best-in-class property management supports asset preservation, tenant retention, and the long-term growth of luxury real estate portfolios. Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msq2yPdJVSU Related Episodes • Ep 181 – Mobile Homes & Parking Lots with Kevin Bupp — A deep dive into niche trailer‑park and parking‑lot investing strategies. Watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_hoFdUWbyU Kee...

2024-09-191h 06

Coast To Coast 2024 Paris Olympics Early Recap, AFC North Record Predictions + SPIDER-MAN??WE HAVE!! A VERY VERY SPECIAL GUEST ON TODAY'S SHOW!! Tune in as Meghan and ??? break down Team USA Men's Basketball first game in the Olympics, argue about the toughest sports to play, and get into some AFC North record predictions. As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for Matt. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM INSTAGRAM: @coasttocoastshow TIKTOK: @C...

2024-07-3043 min

Coast To Coast MLB Trade Deadline Talk with Sports Illustrated's Pat RagazzoJoin Matt for Episode 11 in a special solo rendition of C2C, but only until special guest Sports Illustrated’s Pat Ragazzo (@ragazzoreport) joins Matt to discuss the upcoming MLB trade deadline and what players could be on the move and more! As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for Matt. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM INSTAGRAM: @coasttocoastshow TIKTOK: @CoastToCoastProductions APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coast-to-coast/id1747141892

2024-07-2437 min

Coast To Coast Jalen Brunson Extension, USA Basketball, HometownsJoin Matt&Meg in Episode 10 as they take a trip down memory lane (Meghan recorded in hometown Sactown and Matt..lives at home), plus we touch on team USA, some other Olympics stuff, and of course, lots of yelling. As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for Matt. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM INSTAGRAM: @coasttocoastshow TIKTOK: @CoastToCoastProductions APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coast-to-coast/id1747141892

2024-07-1545 min

Coast To Coast DeMar DeRozan to Sacramento Kings, 4th of July FestivitesCOAST TO COAST FANS! WE HAVE 9 EPISODES OUT! LET'S GO!! Today, Matthew and Meghan recap all the wild and thrilling activities of this 4th of July weekend, touch on the Kings landing a big fish in Free Agency, and give some early NFL ROTY predictions. As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for Matt. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM INSTAGRAM: @coasttocoastshow TIKTOK: @CoastToCoastProductions APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coast-to-coast/id1747141892

2024-07-0847 min

Coast To Coast EP 8: NBA FREE AGENCY FRENZY, MIKAL BRIDGES TO KNICKSOfficially two months (!!!) into the C2C lifespan, and this episode has Matt relishing in his rare good week as a Knicks and Mets fan, Meghan tells on the Kings for not drafting a wing, and the Lakers officially have a father/son duo. All this plus more in this week’s Coast to Coast... As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for Matt. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM INSTAGRAM: @coasttocoastshow TIKTOK: @CoastToCoastProductions APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coast-to-coast/id...

2024-07-0149 min

Coast To Coast EP 7: Stanley Cup Finals Game 7 + NBA NewsCOAST TO COAST FRIENDS. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST ON OUR LAST EPISODE. THE OILERS HAVE A CHANCE TO PROVE MATT RIGHT AND COMPLETE THE REVERSE SWEEP TO WIN THE STANLEY CUP FINALS. Game 7 is TONIGHT, and Matt and Meghan give you a mini preview & discuss other news around the sports world. As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for MTTE. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM INSTAGRAM: @coasttocoastshow TIKTOK: @CoastToCoastProductions APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coast-to-coast/id1747141892

2024-06-2440 min

Lead Time Does AI Belong in the Church? with Matt Engel | Hot Topic FridayCan AI truly transform the way ministry operates within the church? Join us on this thought-provoking episode of Lead Time Hot Topic Friday! We uncover the revolutionary potential of artificial intelligence in ministry alongside my good friend Matt Engel. We dive into the many facets of AI integration, from streamlining administrative tasks like email management and chatbots to enriching sermon content and crafting impactful social media snippets. But it's not all about efficiency; we stress the crucial importance of maintaining human connections and community engagement. We argue that AI should serve as a tool to enhance, not replace, the...

2024-06-2132 min

Coast To Coast EP 6: NBA Finals Extended + Marvel Themed 11 PersonnelThe Mavericks forced a Game 5, but is that all they have in them?! Welcome to EPISODE 6 (we made it) of #C2C! Matt and Meghan break down what worked for the Mavericks in Game 4, what could happen in Game 5, and build there own NFL 11 personnel lineups using MARVEL CHARACTERS. Plus, don't miss the rapid-fire segment at the end of the show, and Matt's very special Minute. As always, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!!

2024-06-1749 min

Coast To Coast EP 5: WNBA Buzz: What's going on with the W?HI COAST TO COAST FRIENDS!! Matt decided to take a vacation and leave Meghan on a solo mission, but that didn't stop us from putting out content.In this week's episode, Meghan dives into the tales and fables of the WNBA: the positive discourse, negative discourse, and oh—what did Stephen A. say? Thank you for 1 month of listening to Coast to Coast!! As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for MTTE. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/04BKQssNi8NUQflER6XI...

2024-06-1011 min

Coast To Coast EP 4: Celtics vs. Mavericks NBA Finals Preview + Early NBA Free AgencyIt’s been a MONTH of Coast to Coast content brought to you by your favorite cohosts. In this week’s rendition of C2C, Matt and Meghan discuss the NBA Semis and preview the Finals, profess their most annoying gym pet peeves, and give a little wishlist of what they’d like to see happen when the NBA season wraps up and free agency comes around!! Thank you for 1 month of listening to Coast to Coast❤️. As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe/rating goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for MTTE. Let's go C...

2024-06-0354 min

Coffee & Cap Rates: Commercial Real Estate Podcast 91. Challenges Facing Rent Stabilized Buildings featuring Jay Martin and Matt EngelOn this podcast, Shimon Shkury, President and Founder of Ariel Property Advisors, discusses the overall financial health of rent stabilized buildings in New York City with Jay Martin, Executive Director of the Community Housing Improvement Program (CHIP), a landlord advocacy group, and Matt Engel, President of Langsam Property Services Corp., an owner/operator, and Chairman of CHIP.The topics include rising interest rates, post-Covid collections, property taxes, the Housing Stability and Tenant Protection Act (HSTPA) of 2019 and the state’s new housing policy, which tweaked HSTPA by slightly increasing Individual Apartment Improvement caps for rent stabilized apartments. A...

2024-05-2935 min

Coast To Coast EP 3: Top-5 NFL QBs 25 and Under + NBA Conference FinalsTHE NFL SEASON!! IS SO FAR AWAY!! But it's not too soon to give rankings on quarterbacks. EP 3 is OUT and we dive into our favorite young QBs, plus the first games of the NBA Conference Finals. Oh, Anthony Edwards... As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for MTTE. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM INSTAGRAM: @coasttocoastshow TIKTOK: @CoastToCoastProductions APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coast-to-coast/id1747141892

2024-05-2446 min

Coast To Coast EP 2: NBA Semis + MLB Check-InWe've made it. We aren't a one hit wonder. Episode 2 is OUT and we tackle the intense NBA SemiFinals, as well as a check-in with the MLB. As always, we appreciate you checking out our new channel, and a subscribe goes directly to funding new T-Shirts for MTTE. Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM INSTAGRAM: @coasttocoastshow TIKTOK: @CoastToCoastProductions

2024-05-1849 min

Coast To Coast EP 1: Meet the HostsHello and welcome!! Matt Engel and Meghan Townsley bring to you a new sports show—one that's different than the rest. Trust us, you won't be bored. We're bringing fresh ideas and a fresh dynamic to keep you engaged from start to finish, and of course, knowledge from both coasts. ***DISCLAIMER: #MTTE had mic issues. We are aware. A new mic is in route*** Subscribe for more content, and follow us on our other platforms! Let's go Coast to Coast #c2c. YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHMrkW_2hUd4pcprWAN2wEg TWITTER/X: @CoastToCoastTM IN...

2024-05-1225 min

Exponential NEXT Podcast AI in the Sanctuary: Exploring the Future of Ministry with Matt Engel Exponential NEXT Podcast Episode 11Series: AI in the Sanctuary Does AI inspire more angst or opportunities in your church? Don’t let uncertainty short-circuit important conversations. Kenny Jahng and Matt Engel talk about biblically-grounded guardrails to guide AI adoption. Hear how AI can free up staff for frontline ministry without compromising core values. Learn tips for overcoming skepticism among both church leaders and attenders.Artificial intelligence brings both promise and ethical quandaries for churches. Join Kenny and Matt as they map the landscape between emerging technology and timeless theology. Take away practical steps to st...

2024-04-1700 min

Exponential NEXT Podcast AI in the Sanctuary: Exploring the Future of Ministry with Matt Engel Exponential NEXT Podcast Episode 11 Series: AI in the Sanctuary Does AI inspire more angst or opportunities in your church? Don’t let uncertainty short-circuit important conversations. Kenny Jahng and Matt Engel talk about biblically-grounded guardrails to guide AI adoption. Hear how AI can free up staff for frontline ministry without compromising core values. Learn tips for overcoming skepticism among both church leaders and attenders.Artificial intelligence brings both promise and ethical quandaries for churches. Join Kenny and Matt as they map the landscape between emerging technology and timeless theology. Take away practical steps to st...

2024-04-1700 min

Beziehungsweise Vera Monster und Engel in der BeziehungWas deine Beziehung stärkt und was sie schwächt In dieser Folge enthüllen wir die komplexen Schichten, die unsere Beziehungen formen. Du erfährst, wie wir oft unbewusst Rollen von "Monstern" und "Engeln" übernehmen. Diese Metapher zeigt dir, dass wir die Macht haben, negative Muster zu durchbrechen und positive Veränderungen herbeizuführen. Selbstreflexion, Empathie und offene Kommunikation sind Schlüsselelemente, um die "Monster" in uns zu zähmen und die "Engel" in unseren Beziehungen zu fördern.

2024-03-2618 min

Curious Friends Podcast Matt Engel | GlooGuest: Matt Engel Host: Greg Lindsey Show Notes: Guest Links/Info: Gloo http://gloo.us Our theme song is “Free” by Cami Maree - http://camimaree.com Curious Friends Podcast is produced by Steve Eller, Discovery Church Colorado --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/curiousfriendspodcast/support

2023-02-1533 min

Lead Time Be A "Disciple Maker" Making Church, With Matt EngelLearn more about Matt Engel!Matt Engel combines tech superpowers with a passion for helping churches and nonprofits use big data to better serve their people and communities. He works for Gloo, a Boulder-based tech company, bringing MetaData, Research, Assessment and Engagement Platforms to organizations who help others grow. Matt also serves as a research fellow for Leadership Network’s big data initiative. Prior to moving to Colorado, Matt was instrumental in using big data to transform Arizona State University’s recruitment and student performance processes.For More: https://www.gloo.us/Visit uniteleadership.org

2022-12-2747 min

youngadults.today Asking Better Questions with Matt EngelMatt Engel is part of the team at Gloo! www.youngadults.today

2022-12-0549 min

Tip of The Burg - St Pete Real Estate, Events, Business, and More!Market Update w/Matt EricksonInterested in buying, selling, or renting a home in St. Petersburg? Today we take a look at this constantly changing real estate market here in St. Petersburg FL. Matt Erickson will explain recent changes that have happened in the market for the first half of 2022.

2022-08-1608 min

Tip of The Burg - St Pete Real Estate, Events, Business, and More!The Future of the Florida Real Estate Market w/Matt EricksonIn this episode we hear from Matt Erickson of Engel and Volkers St. Pete to discuss the future of the Tampa Bay Real Estate Market.

2022-04-2505 min

Sports Spectrum’s Table Forty NEW EPISODE: Adam and Jamie EngelEpisode 88 Matt and Leslee Holliday are back with Season 3 of "Table Forty," and their first guests are Adam and Jamie Engel. Adam is entering his sixth season in the major leagues with the Chicago White Sox after a stellar career at the University of Louisville. He and his wife join the show to talk about how they met, the lessons they've learned about marriage during their time together, navigating married life in professional baseball, and using their platforms to share their faith. Table Forty is part of the Sports Spectrum Podcast Network. RELATED...

2022-03-1543 min

House Rich Podcast with Matt Parker Interview with Carleigh Hofman - Sea to Sky Whistler REALTOR® - Engel & Volkers WhistlerMeet Carleigh: Carleigh’s career path started quite young, and she has had the honour of travelling worldwide with business, exposing her to learn, adapt, and succeed in her real estate and investment endeavours. Her first year in real estate began on the North Shore in Vancouver, where she was awarded ‘Rookie of the Year’ by her firm of now over 400 agents. Several years later she followed her love for the mountains and joined the Team and Engel & Volkers Whistler where she has been a top performer year after year, serving the communities of Vancou...

2021-12-0217 min

The Church Digital Podcast EP189: Matt Engel & The Uberization of ChurchUberizing Church. Yeah, at this point we’re just making up words here. That’s a good thing, though, cause we get to define each word. Ulitmately, with each new word comes a new standard. Uberization of Church brings this idea of platforming a concept, crowdsourcing it, and releasing it to others. In many ways, it’s the opposite mindset than what we typically think in church today. It’s not controlled growth, it’s releasing control, allowing multiplication. How do we get there? Jump in this conversation as Jeff, along with Gloo’s Matt Engel, explo...

2021-11-0857 min

Boroughs & Burbs, the National Real Estate Conversation Boroughs & Burbs 30: Am I A Brand? Brand Building in the Business of Real Estate. Matt Leone and Chris HalsteadSend us a text Season 2: Episode 2: Matt Leone, Chief Marketing Officer gets honest about branding. We ask the person responsible for building a "hip" Halstead brand, and now for reinventing the 150-year old Brown Harris Stevens brand, how does he build a 21st Century brand in an era where... Every Agent Thinks They Are Building a Personal Brand If every agent is supposed to be shooting videos, publishing on Instagram, and creatively writing a real-estate blog, where does the agent's corporate brand fit into all of that? Building a brand that makes sense o...

2021-10-151h 06

The Pass First Podcast - Basketball Coaching ELITE WORK ETHIC WITH MATT BRADLEYWelcome to episode 51! This week we have special guest Matt Bradley who just finished up his season at Cal Berkeley and is now transferring to play at San Diego State. Matt talks to us about the work ethic needed to play at the high major D1 level, the unseen hours that going into developing your game, and what his experience was growing up as he prepared to play in college. If you've been enjoying these episodes please make sure to subscribe, and as always thanks for listening!

2021-05-1843 min

Boroughs & Burbs, the National Real Estate Conversation #22 Bess Freedman and Matt Leone on the Importance of Branding and the Evolving Business of Real EstateSend us a text Bess Freedman, CEO of Brown Harris Stevens with Matt Leone, Chief Marketing Officer of Brown Harris Stevens on The Importance of Branding and the Evolving Business of Real Estate The real estate business has gone through some massive changes in the last few years and most of those changes start in New York. We have some new brands emerging while some of the industry's oldest and most established brands have only gotten stronger. How does two of the top branding experts in the industry think about these changes? We ha...

2021-04-0959 min

The Scuba GOAT Podcast Marcus Blake - Komodo Resort & Dive Club - S01 E05Komodo National Park in Indonesia is world-renowned for its vast array of marine biodiversity and bucket list scuba diving. Marcus Blake has spent the last 4 years based on the perimeter of the park as the dive operations manager at Komodo Resort and Dive Club.I hosted an expedition for 10 guests at Komodo Resort and Dive Club in November 2019 and I was seriously impressed with the entire operation. This excerpt taken from the resort's website perfectly describes the location...Nestled in a sheltered bay fringed with white sand, the Komodo Dive Resort offers a unique and fr...

2020-09-0741 min

House Rich Podcast with Matt Parker Amy Leong | Engel & VölkersMeet Amy: Amy is a top real estate advisor with her partner Ally Ballam at Engel & Volkers Vancouver and active real estate investor. She is known for her ability to uncover amazing opportunities in the real estate market for valued clientele. Amy's eye for numbers and smart investing is a necessity for Buyers and Sellers looking to build substantial wealth. She has won Elite Realtor status with one of Canada's most reputable builders, Concord Pacific and was nominated for the Real Estate Investment Network of Canada's (REIN) Top Agent of the Year 2019. Engel & Volkers America’s awarded Amy and Ally Pr...

2020-08-2129 min

House Rich Podcast with Matt Parker Chantal Vignola | Engel VölkersMeet Chantal: Chantal Vignola is a name in the Vancouver Real Estate industry that you can depend on. As an Engel & Völkers Real Estate Advisor, I am dedicated to providing high standards of service. I have the experience (over 13 years in the industry), extensive market knowledge, precise marketing, strategic systems and high energy personality that set’s me apart. Engel Völkers allows me to provide my clients with exclusive, international level of client service through exposure and access, to the Global Marketplace. Competence, Exclusivity, Honesty & Passion. These are the values that represent Engel & Völkers and values that I hav...

2020-07-2117 min

The Paternity Test Episode 64 (Part 1): People or No PeopleEpisode 64 Part 1: People or No People All it took for us to bring back the podcast was having absolutely nothing else to do! Todd, Matt, AND Dave, AND special guest Joel all are all here, (You get Curly and Shemp!) and they’re trying to keep their broods occupied in the long quality time purgatory that is social distancing. Matt and Viva have a new game fit for the apocalypse, Joel antagonizes the other dads with good weather reports and bad death tolls, Dave tries not screw up in front of his wife when he’s ALWAYS in front of his...

2020-05-271h 05

The Paternity Test Episode 63: Mover ScottThe Dads are back? The Dads are back! And they brought along a special friend - Scott Durbin from Imagination Movers! Todd and Matt talk about where they've been (Todd moving, Matt getting angry about airpods). They're older (Todd needs to hold onto furniture to stand up, and Matt looks like a tired Dr. Strange) but they're here. Todd has a teenage girl at home who is a sulking rage machine, and Matt has little kid who is very concerned about the health and welfare of former Beatles. And Mover Scott shares details on the making of "10-4", the Movers...

2019-03-182h 03

The Paternity Test Episode 62: Hack My ThermostatEpisode 62: Hack My Thermostat They Dads are back, farmer-tanned and ready for action. Todd is getting good at small talk in his old age, but is it a sign of cognitive decline? And Todd can’t convince his soulless wife to cry along with him to sappy Dad songs. Meanwhile, Matt debates bringing his daughter to a concert she’s gonna hate. The Dads ponder how much they want to tie their homes to “The Internet of Things” – especially their fancy Japanese toilets. And Matt emcees some cooking demonstrations that get upstaged by a dinosaur and his hammy kid. E-mail us your th...

2017-07-261h 15

Behind The Bricks Matt Engel, Managing 10,000 Units in NYC, & Operating Successfully in Secondary MarketsMatt Engel is the President of Langsam Property Services, one of the largest management companies in the NYC market. They are responsible for managing approximately 350 buildings with over 10,000 units. Langsam is on the "short list" of who to call when you have tough management assignments which need assistance. They have rescued some very large portfolios on behalf of large investors, and there is a lot of real knowledge he shares with us. We will cover things like: What it is like to manage 10,000 units at once His advice on entering the real estate business today Why...

2017-07-0147 min

The Paternity Test Episode 61: An Excessive Amount of MagicWhy do Todd and Matt smell like lamb chops and adrenaline? A trip to a Brazilian steakhouse – full of traps to destroy your sausage party, like biscuits and cheese. GET THEE BEHIND ME, BISCUITS! In a post-Easter, breakdown, Todd and Matt are skeptical of the recent poll of “top jelly bean flavors by state”. Are frying pans supposed to suck? And in “Holidont’s”, Todd has a rudderless Easter, and Matt overdoes it so hard the cops come. And so do ants. E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS! And find us on F...

2017-04-191h 14

The Paternity Test Episode 60: Nature's Bounty“Pony Up Daddy” is the new Dad saddle that allows your child to humiliate you in comfort. Did we need this invention? In “Health Beat”, Todd halves his Jube Gel intake and goes into weight loss freefall. But where to stop? Speaking of which, Todd bought some dubiously named workout drinks that he probably doesn’t need, but it does taste like watermelon Slurpee. And in “Scarred for Life”, Matt brings Viva to perform at Windy City LIVE! and has to balance between ruining showbiz for her forever and ruining her for real life forever. E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodca...

2017-03-2952 min

The Paternity Test Episode 59: Bacon FireThe Dads clue into the next big teen sensation – sucking on Nintendo games! Watch out, jenkem and butt-chugging! In “How the Better Half Live”, Matt tried to figure out his wife's rubric for watching TV: How can Westworld not be good enough if Teen Wolf is??? Oh, and Matt goes full Todd and buys a decibel meter so he can see if he's justified in being grumpy at his HVAC system. That's some real dadcore stuff! And in “So, Now You're Old”, Todd can no longer put his children to bed nor enjoy TV by himself – because they can stay away longer...

2017-03-091h 02

The Paternity Test Episode 58: A Hot Cup of Give UpThe Dads great up for Paczki Day 2017 (this was recorded last week) – but will Todd put his weight loss over his heritage?! I mean, he already drinks tea instead of having dessert. “Planes to Catch and Bills to Pay” is a big one today – as Todd goes to his LAST Daddy Daughter Dance. (sniff) And... it has a theme? On Amazon, Todd buys his OWN video game controller his kid can't touch. Smart move or monstrously selfish parenting? And in Health Beat – Matt tries self-tanner... what could possibly go wrong? E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Patern...

2017-03-021h 01

The Paternity Test Episode 57: #ShelterInPlaceTodd and Matt reminisce about failed extreme football leagues past. Is there still a lingerie bowl? Matt's got an addendum to “Talking to Your Kids About Heaven”, as Viva worries about the soul of her stuffed puppy. Does Cool Pope Francis have a loophole? Then we turn to “Scary Clowns and Filthy Elmos” as the Dads learn with horror that Viva has a secret imaginary friend that's a whole circle of hell down from her ghost friends Caleb! (CAAALEBB!!!) Are you doing your Amazon shopping through our support page at paternitypodcast.com? Matt is, as he integrates his favorite action figures...

2017-02-0853 min

The Paternity Test Episode 56: The Wrong Side of 40Criss-Cross Applesauce? Sitting like a W? A Paternity Test investigation into how kids sit today. In “Talking to Your Kids About Heaven” - Viva's heaven is a lot like a production of “Starlight Express”, and Matt and Professor Foster go to war with the gods. Matt buys some “Inside Out” toys, but Viva's feelings are too big to watch movies. And in “So, Now You're Old” - Todd goes right over the hill and lands at a beef stand. Did he waste all his ionic supreme? E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD...

2017-01-2647 min

The Paternity Test Episode 55: Dirty FloridaHappy New Year! Welcome to the start of another year of fake radio from Todd and Matt, the best friends you never met! New Year, New You for babies, who should now be eating... peanuts?! And Todd is dosing his dog with a peanut dust that would never make it through TSA. Speaking of Todd, he's back from a family vacation... is he the one who made the sign say, “Hollyweed”? Matt bought a very heavy vest – will it make him swole or just crippled? Say, how do you teach a kid to blow their nose? And who mops up afterw...

2017-01-1259 min

The Paternity Test Episode 54: The Magic of ScrimshawThe Dads talk about last minute shopping, where Todd grabs whatever fits his price point, and Matt grabs appetizer platters. In Health Beat, Ellie starts getting sick just before the holiday trip, and the Jays start mainline uncut Colombian Caveman multivitamin. First you get the Barneys, then you get the vitamins, then you get fight the scurvy. Plus, a feverish Ellie gets in trouble, as does a pillow tossing Viva, and the Dads let guilt be their guide. We hope you're using the Amazon portal! We know we are – even though it shows our family banner ads of what we go...

2016-12-221h 04

The Paternity Test Episode 53: Wearable YogurtThought the "wet red bread" Facebook recipe videos were gross? The Dads just found the cocktail version, "Tipsy Bartender". Anyone for a Pokeymans Mudslide? Matt tries to watch some holiday TV but find "the Santa Paws" impossibly maudlin. At least he learned empathy for Christmas Frankensteins. Play-Doh – perfect snowman ingredient or winter nightmare fuel? Please don't forget to do your holiday shopping through our Amazon portal at paternitypodcast.com! Lazy gift givers, it is time to panic – Yankee Candle Recall! Michael from New York calls in and goes green with an advanced bird flipping technique. … And in the moment we all kne...

2016-12-151h 06

The Paternity Test Episode 52: Shareable BreadCan you handle your Marijuana Gummies? Illinois teens sure can't. Let's hope they never touch the brown acid Gobstoppers. Ellie's history of being neglected for her brother's sporting events culminates in a bleacher birthday party, and adult coloring book, and a Jersey Mike's sub. Laser Tag in an empty dorm – awesome or a great way to get shot by security? The Dads explore the phenomenon of Facebook sped-up recipe videos and their shambling wet bread horrors. Open a tube of crescent rolls, grab a pail of ranch, and enjoy! ...and Matt realizes his Sr. Pre-K daughter is having her own li...

2016-12-0859 min

The Paternity Test Episode 51: Yes, Virginia, There is a Lobster ClawsIn this festive episode, Todd decorates for Christmas, Halloween, and Thanksgiving at the same time – enjoy a cornucopia full of spooky peppermints! Meanwhile, Matt convinces some international students to put up his decorations to.. broaden their cultural horizons? Todd's wife leaves town for a week, and the wheels come off his domestic life. Is there an app for this? Speaking of Todd, he's considering becoming the Grabowski Gizmoduck on a mini-Segway. If not that, then he at least wants a Vespa to embarrass himself on. And reality weighs heavily on Matt's house, as Viva starts to wonder what is real an...

2016-11-3046 min

The Paternity Test Episode 50: Too Many BitsIt's out episode 50 Underwhelm-tacular! We can't get the NES classic and we'd be happy to sit in a parking lot all night watching the Godfather trilogy and waiting for it. Todd uncovers the cruel world of teenage Instagram curation and it is a harsh reality. Hey, how many hipster and geek dad t-shirts are too many hipster and geek dad t-shirts? Is there a Mad-Libs podcast? There is now. And we talk about Matt's butt. E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS!

2016-11-221h 12

The Paternity Test Episode 49: Liquified PumpkinWe're guessing you could use a laugh right now… Todd and Matt talk to you from the "before" side of the election with tales from Halloween – how do Todd's aging kids manage their transition into obnoxious trick or treating teens? And just how many Halloweens does Principessa Viva get to have?! Finally – Southsiders Todd and Matt break their silence over their shame and grief regarding the Cubs win. So. Much. Grief. Are you using our Amazon portal? This show is supported by viewers like you! (Thank you.) Matt is trying to buy new Barbies to replace the jank ones viva has –...

2016-11-101h 29

The Paternity Test Episode 48: Your Feelings Are Valid, Charlie BrownThe Dads, along with Viva, parse the abusive language of “It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”, and examine the less popular entries into the series, like “Life Aboard the Mayflower Was Hell, Charlie Brown”, and “The Carter Era Was a National Malaise, Charlie Brown”. In “Scary Clowns”, the Dads announce the death of evangelical cartoonist Jack T. Chick, and do a dramatic re-enactment of the legendary “Dark Dungeons”. Plus, Alex's school issues a warning against would-be prairie clowns. In “School Days with a Z”, the Dads discuss the history of disaster drills at schools, and Todd wonders if he should Tiger down on his son, w...

2016-11-021h 03

The Paternity Test Episode 47: Meat JengaIf the meat tower topples, everyone loses. I hope you all realize that we were tracking Scary Clowns long before they were the new Shark Attacks. We have always been here for you, in our Clown Proof Bunker, waiting with open arms. Todd has lost 20 pounds on the “Overpriced Herb Capsule and Starvation” diet! Halloween means buying costume – buy yours on the Amazon portal and keep this show going! Matt continues his adventures on campus by placing his mouth under the soft serve spigot for three weeks. This can't end well. E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call t...

2016-10-2052 min

The Paternity Test Episode 46: Scary Clown Heat MapIf the clowns haven't carved out your innards with a balloon sword yet, it's time for a new episode! Matt has moved onto a college campus and is deeply ashamed to have left the city. What's a metrosexual without the metro? Just a “sexual”? Todd watches the debates with his kids and becomes so deeply depressed he decides to start a third political party. Perhaps you'd like to join? E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS! Thanks for listening!

2016-10-1146 min

The Paternity Test Episode 44: Fat Level RedIs Yelp going to date itself by listing Pokestops and places which accept corrupt fake electronic currency? Todd’s cloister bell has gone off signaling he has surpassed his maximum acceptable level of obesity. Kelly has suggested he start taking her wildly expensive shakes full of pretend medicine. Clowns are luring children into the woods in the south. Well, clowns or persons dressed as clowns. One of the two. And Matt and Professor Foster have met their superior doppelgangers at Viva's new non-hippie, mostly-nerd fancy preschool, which crushes their massive and fragile egos. Like our Facebook, follow us on Twitter @th...

2016-09-0856 min

The Paternity Test Episode 43: Hot VealsIt's our first show officially a man down. We're sad about it – but we're funny clowns who only weep on the inside – so we think we've put together a funny episode for you! The Olympics are over, but not before the world got to enjoy a world-class walking-fast-while-wiggling-your-butt competitor soil himself on television. Watch our for that hurled sponge! Consumer alert: Whilst shopping for an iPad case, Matt discovers that scanning Happy Meal toys is a giant scam. Todd realizes that, with his kids growing older, this academic year will be naught but a gauntlet of sad goodbyes and ugly crie...

2016-08-2450 min

The Paternity Test Episode 42: The Amish TouchscreenWelcome back! It’s been a while, but here we are, in all our middle-aged glory. Pokemon Go is sweeping the world. Except for Syracuse. And the Western Suburbs. And… Matt may have murdered a bird by climbing a tree. At 41. In climbing gear. He used climbing gear to climb a tree. Then all of the women at the house wept at the possibility of the bird’s demise, right before ingesting bird. Dave’s kitchen is in its second year of renovation. Enough said. Todd’s wife is spending a small fortune on a new diet and exercise regimen. Can his fa...

2016-08-091h 02

The Paternity Test Episode 41: Live from First Ascent ChicagoThis week Matt podcasts live from First Ascent Chicago with special guest Taylor Wood, a fellow blogger for Chicago Parent. Join them as the discuss the corporatization of Lemonade stands, the cut throat underbelly of parking in Chicago neighborhoods and don't miss the on-air epic battle between two tiny superheros!

2016-07-181h 05

The Paternity Test Episode 40: Blister CreamWelcome back! Dave's asleep again. Somehow, Matt and Todd pick up the pieces and move forward. Todd swears by Menthol Gold Bond on his inner thighs. He just can't seem to find the best angle by which to powder his groin. America's love affair with Hamilton has probably reached its half-life, but that didn't stop the Brookfield Zoo from naming a camel after the musical. Matt found a bunny hutch (nest?) in the garden of his daughter's pre-school. It was adorable, until God filled their home with water and drowned the bunnies. After sixteen years of use, Matt decided to...

2016-06-2459 min

The Paternity Test Episode 39: Live at Brooklyn BouldersMatt and Todd record live at Brooklyn Boulders Chicago while their daughters preview Brooklyn Boulders Summer Camps and the Dads contemplate what they'll break first. Will it be their harness, the wall or their legs? They also explore other types of summer camp offerings, including one that will teach your children how to kill you in your sleep! Finally the dads get on the walls and recap their experience for you and try and figure out how their going to drive home now that they can't move their fingers. Join us, won't you? We want to hear from you!!! Call us...

2016-06-0251 min

The Paternity Test Episode 38: Mistress Todd's Basement of PainWelcome back! Matt's got a man crush on broasted chicken. He finds a new broasted place by Todd's house, which happens to be the home of...a burger? Matt goes to an auction for his kid's Pre-K. Cue drunk bidding and keys in the fishbowl. Dave defends the existence of margaritas. Todd's vertebrae is decomposing in real time, which has led him to purchase countless traction devices that he demonstrates for Matt. Dave wants Car Talk to stop. Now. He can't stand the idea of listening to a dead host tell jokes. People keep hitting Dave's new car and it's sl...

2016-05-251h 07

The Paternity Test Episode 37: Mars Cheese CastleWelcome back! It's been a while. Matt hates New York-style pizza, but all the dads admit that the Brooklyn pizza box made out of pizza isn't the worst idea ever. Matt took his daughter to the Rainforest Cafe and Mars Cheese Castle in the same day. Tons of kitsch, tons of crayons, and, because of their seating, not nearly enough robot dinosaurs. Dave tells a tale of the saddest Friendly's ever. Amazon keeps recommending that Todd buys Kuba Kickz, which are basically brass knuckles that attach to your shoes. Between this and the Strike Spike, Todd's commute through suburbia will...

2016-05-161h 11

The Paternity Test Episode 36: Victoria Secret's RaptureSuzy Qs are back, and they're even bigger garbage than the ones from your childhood. Dave saw Magic Leap augmented reality, and realized that it and nothing else is the future. Then he threw his Oculus Rift in the toilet, because really, what's the point? Todd bought his wife perfume, like a seventeen-year-old looking for a prom date. Matt's looking at several schools for his daughter, Viva. One's locked down like a prison because it's in Chicago. One is Catholic, so the steeple bursts into flames every time Matt walks in. The third is for billionaires, and made Matt sad...

2016-05-021h 08

The Paternity Test Episode 35: Come Play With Us, DannyWelcome back! Long time, no talk. It's been so long, Todd forgot Dave was on the show. Todd just got back from Italy, where he had a delightful lunch in Sienna where people abuse horses. And out of 70 kids who went with him, he only had to leave one behind! Aside from the lighter trip back to the states, Todd also discusses the "pay as you go" bathrooms. Dave talks of a fake Darth Maul Netflix trailer that looked amazing, and then discusses the mean practical jokes he used to play on his parents. The new Star Wars (Rogue One...

2016-04-241h 05

The Paternity Test Episode 34: Emotionally Violent SushiWelcome back! Wow. Hulk Hogan got a massive settlement from Gawker. Too bad Death has no other 80s wrestlers to visit. He better spend it soon. Dave doesn't yell at strangers anymore. This leads to a great story about Matt and a steak knife. Speaking of Matt and eating utensils. Matt can't handle how good Quaker Instant Oatmeal is. He has sworn off goose liver and caged lamb. Todd used to play on roofs as a child. Now he only goes up there to install missing shingles. This leads to Todd's hardware store grading system, based on their artisanal grape...

2016-04-0352 min

The Paternity Test Episode 33: Reagan Wasn't ShotWelcome back! Kids today don't know the difference between the 80s and 90s. To them, Michael J. Fox and David Spade are the same person. Lionel Richie should relax. You can't copyright the word used to answer a phone. Todd's family communes with Fuller House. Matt had to turn it off. Dave canceled his Netflix subscription so he didn't have to see the ads. Elvis is really, really dead. So dead that no one knows he existed. Matt's daughter wants to see his manhood. Matt said "no", but this raised larger questions of how to deal with anatomy lessons for...

2016-03-191h 13

The Paternity Test Episode 32: Thunder ConeWelcome back! Dave's ex-girlfriend taught him early that divorce is never the answer. Better to live in misery. Matt can't handle boys. Also, his daughter wanders onto a merry-go-round of the future, where every child on it can be crushed at once. Todd's going to Italy. Will the food there be safe? We want to hear from you!!! Call us at (657) BAD DADS or send us an e-mail atpaternitypodcast@gmail.com. And follow us on Facebook,on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram at thepaternitytest. Please Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review. And tell a friend while you're...

2016-03-111h 04

The Paternity Test Episode 31: Baseball Knife ShoesWelcome back! Literary figures are dropping like flies. Where are the new literary heroes? It's youth baseball season, which means that it's time for Todd to buy shoe knives for his son. Hide your shins. Todd discusses his latest daddy-daughter dance. Chaos reigns as a teenage dunce DJ does everything he can to ruin the evening. Todd saves humanity by fixing the photo line. Matt's daughter refuses to listen to him. Ever. Dave's daughter refuses to wear underwear. Ever. We want to hear from you!!! Call us at (657) BAD DADS or send us an e-mail atpaternitypodcast@gmail.com. And follow us o...

2016-03-071h 15

The Paternity Test Episode 30: The One Where George Gaynes DiesWelcome back! George Gaynes died! Who will save us from our refrigerators? Dave's house is cold. Matt must destroy a handsome, younger dad at his school. Todd goes to a daddy-daughter dance with his...daughter. Join us, won't you? We want to hear from you!!! Call us at (657) BAD DADS or send us an e-mail atpaternitypodcast@gmail.com. And follow us on Facebook,on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram at thepaternitytest. Please Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review. And tell a friend while you're at it!

2016-02-2644 min

The Paternity Test Episode 29: Butterfly KissesWelcome back! Todd decided to save money and skipped getting a Valentine's Day card for his wife. Now he can afford go the movies. By himself. Maybe he'll go see Deadpool with Matt, since that's where he spent Love Day with his wife. Dave went to his first Daddy-Daughter dance with his two four-year-old daughters. It went exactly how you would expect an evening centered around forced sentimentality to go. Todd broke his daughter's arm. And by that, we mean that Todd's family allowed his daughter to roller skate, wherein she broke her arm. Matt took his daughter to Disney...

2016-02-181h 16

The Paternity Test Episode 28: The ApachesWelcome back! The dads discuss the Zika virus, and what it means for filthy, filthy Rio. Also, the Olympics are ridiculous. Dave and his wife have known each other for ten long, long years. He has a hard time fathoming how he has gone from bartender/actor to respected educator and mini van owner. Todd wears a bib now to shave his face. This allows him to collect the hair and throw it practically anywhere he wants. Todd then realizes that he didn't actually have fun cutting his grandfather's toenails. Matt and Professor Foster are taking their daughter to Disney Wo...

2016-02-121h 00

The Paternity Test Episode 27: Son of BeastmasterWelcome back! Dave and Todd love COPS. What's not to like? Matt needs help fixing his house. He spends most of his update asking Todd and Dave how to feel like a man in his own home. They're interrupted by Matt's daughter, Viva, who is having a heart attack because Matt hasn't bought her enough iPad apps. The Dads listen to the new H. John Benjamin album. It's awful and wonderful. Todd bought Google Cardboard, which is way cooler than it sounds (Especially if you don't know what Google Cardboard is). His wife is out of town, so Todd has...

2016-02-0459 min

The Paternity Test Episode 25: The Sperm SwitchWelcome back to our humble show. The dads stumble upon a baby-making light switch that's supposed to be surgically inserted into your body. It's hilarious at parties. Matt's daughter is being taught to share her feelings by tattling on her peers. So now, Matt is being humiliated at parties as his daughter narks out other kids for hurting her feelings. Todd bought a new bat for his son. It's made from space-age technology, just like the bat he got last year, and the year before that. Bat technology is changing so fast, there's no way to use a bat more th...

2016-01-2056 min

The Paternity Test Episode 24: Google GarbageWelcome back. Oculus Rift is on its way, and if we put our money on anything, it's that life will become a compilation of headaches from constantly standing one inch from the television. Too bad for Oculus Rift that Google found a way to do it for free... It's winter in Chicago, and that means long commutes through barren gray wastelands. Todd heads to a hotel spa with strawberry water and Matt plans a trip to Florida for February. This is great, but it still leaves five months of winter misery. Matt is planning on taking his daughter to a...

2016-01-1353 min

The Paternity Test Episode 22: Christmas KittenMatt brings back action figures from the 80s that no one wanted. Micronauts. ROM Space Night. No idea? Then you get the idea. Dave's turning forty, which means he'll finally have to start spelling forty without a "u". He doesn't know how he's supposed to feel, but how he feels is miserable. Matt looks like Jesus. Meanwhile, he interviews Dylan Lauren about her new candy shop in Chicago, and Viva got so much swag she developed Type-2 diabetes instantly. Also, Viva can't get enough of toilet talk, and it's driving Matt insane. Todd's daughter wants a cat, and she won't s...

2015-12-2352 min

The Paternity Test Episode 21: Bijou SauceWelcome back! Holy crap this is a good episode. Matt can't handle the White Castle Turkey Dinner Slider. Mainly because White Castle's are a time portal to planet filth. Butterball meat smothered in Bijou Sauce...what could make your mouth water more..for a glass of water. Todd can't figure out how to use Facebook in a way that isn't inherently Facebooky. He just wants to post a picture of his kid winning an award, but no matter how he posts it, he looks like a braggart jerk. Thanks Obama. Matt buys some lucky kid a Star Wars pancake mold...

2015-12-171h 20

The Paternity Test Episode 19: Liam Neeson MacaroniWelcome to Episode 19, and not a moment too soon. The dads discuss collectible mac and cheese boxes, and the idea that now there are dead Star Wars characters on the box. Dave regales the dads with a cautionary tale on not getting your '99 Honda tuned up. Matt figures out how the mom from Signs could have lived a long, happy life. Dave doesn't know why cops drive SUVs. The dads find the missing link between cavemen and the Commodores. It's a sculpture made by a blind girl in an 80s music video. Todd can't use gel deodorant. He hates...

2015-11-3043 min

The Paternity Test Episode 18: Deep Fried DreamsWelcome back! Taco Bell now offers you their croissant taco. Good Lord. Daylight Savings Time is horrible, and Matt wastes that precious hour every year. He did catch an infomercial in the middle of the night for Butterball's indoor turkey frier. It's like fireworks, but for inside your house. Todd buys a ladder. For his house. A house he's owned for a decade. His first ladder. Matt rearranges the federal holidays so that Americans get some breathing room between Thanksgiving and New Years. Finally, Todd redeems himself as a father by leading his family out of an intermediate corn maze. T...

2015-11-1958 min

The Paternity Test Episode 16: Styrofoam LungThank God we can finally stop talking about Back to the Future II!! Matt found something to occupy Viva while he assembled furniture and she manages to destroy the house and her health at the same time. Dave is all In when it comes to the new Star Wars movie. It's time to strap on your blaster and buy your tickets!! Todd's son has turned thirteen and Todd doesn't think he gets in enough trouble. Careful what you wish for, old man! Matt and Viva enter a chili cook off and Matt loads it up with fatty meat, insanity peppers...

2015-10-301h 02

The Paternity Test Episode 14: Corn Maze Death MarchWelcome back to the show! All day breakfast at McDonald's means never having to say you're sorry. Dave watched Boogie Nights again, and it really holds up. Matt hates apple festivals and pumpkin spice. He also hates people who complain about pumpkin spice. Which sort of means he hates himself. He also wants to pick apples at a grocery store so that it's cheaper. Todd blows his dad off to go to a haunted house. Not recently. Decades ago, the day his grandfather died. Hungry Hungry Hippos is a cheap, crappy version of its 1980s self. Toddler potties are awesome...

2015-10-1459 min

The Paternity Test Episode 13: Death by PastaWelcome to lucky Episode 13! This week, the Olive Garden Pasta Pass is back, and ready to take down your entire family. Todd's hearing is headed downhill a tad prematurely, and his doctor insists that he get a hearing aid before dementia sets in. Dave still has tinnitus, but only until he dies. Shopkins are worthless, but not as worthless as you'll feel if you don't buy them for your children. Dave's kids are very comfortable with the idea of death. A Shark Tale doesn't help the situation. Matt and Dave make fun of Todd's pronunciation of "eggs". Then the dads l...

2015-10-0856 min

The Paternity Test Episode 12: The Saliva Sundae TroughWelcome back! Matt starts us off by explaining the benefits of "hot desking". This leads to "hot neglecting" your kids, which sounds worse than it actually would be. Matt then paints a terrifying picture of children and ice cream and troughs. Disgusting. Dave wants alone time with his wife so that they can talk about how much better they are than everyone else. Shark attacks are down and death by selfie is up, so Todd watches terrifying PSAs about texting and driving, sending his daughter into her own personal Viet Nam flashback. The Happy Birthday Song now belongs to the pe...

2015-09-3047 min

The Paternity Test Episode 11: Mouthful of Poo WaterWelcome back to the show! This week, Todd offers up the idea of the bedtime pass for the other dads' kids. It's backed up by hard core stats, so there's no way Matt and Dave can refute its effectiveness. Todd has a sinus infection, which is gross, and he should be ashamed of himself. Speaking of shame, his son just dropped an iPhone in the toilet, and all three dads have different ideas on the type of punishment that must commence. Matt takes us back into the Paternity Test Kitchen, and offers up a Frankenberry Crunch Shortcake, which incidentally is th...

2015-09-2358 min

The Paternity Test Episode 10: They Just Can't Handle the CorndogWelcome back to the show! Dave is resting his voice, and he'll be back next week. In the meantime, Matt and Todd discuss the announcement that The Weather Channel is going to finally go back to focusing on weather rather than vague, insulting half-references to unimportant events. Matt regales Todd with a story of how he almost became a big reality TV star. Matt reads Viva a book where animals punch each other, which may have backfired. Matt's daughter then sings about hitting other people. The problem is, she's doing it when she's alone in her room and doesn't think...

2015-09-1652 min

Nocturnal Matt Darey - Nocturnal 526All tracks available from www.beatport.com 01. YouKey - Separated (Sky Franz Alice Stern Remix) [Poesie Musik] 02. Miura Keys feat. Sofi de la Torre - Ominous (Original Mix) [BMG Rights ] 03. Maceo Plex - Wash Away My Tears (12" Mix) [Ellum] 04. Ryan Murgatroyd, Kostakis - Bargain Bin (Original Mix) [Get Physical Music] 05. Dark Matter - Emotional Journey (Original Mix) [Liquidistic Vibe Records] 06. Sandrino, Frankey - Echoes (Original Mix) [Moodmusic] 07. krankbrother - When You're Watching Me (Original Mix) [Krankbrother] 08. Dan Stark - Vysa (Original Mix) [Low Pressings] 09. We Are All Astronauts - Cerulean Sky (Sunrise Mix) [Mango Alley] 10. Modul Kollektiv - Control (Kruse...

2015-09-151h 01

The Paternity Test Episode 9: Wet White ScabWelcome back to the podcast that would gladly go to jail for the right to love its listeners. Hell opens up and tries to cover the earth in snakes and meat druids. The Dads are there. David is back, neutered and muted. Seriously, he can barely talk and might die. You'll get, like, 15% Dave on this episode. Todd gets into the Drone Wars, and will soon be stopping wildfire fighters from responding to calamity. Speaking of Todd, his daughter wants to punch his face. Ah, filial love. Callers tell horror stories of botched vasectomies! (At this point it seems like...

2015-09-0959 min

The Paternity Test Episode 5: Serial Season 2Welcome back to the king daddy of dad shows. Season two of "Serial" is apparently in the can, but Matt doesn't believe it. He tends to think Sarah Koenig is sweating it out with a waste basket full of crumpled up empty notebook pages. Dave is sweating his daughters' third year on Earth, and hates the big lie: That the "terrible twos" are terrible at all. Dave and Matt also share their stories of the first night at home with their newborns. It didn't go well. Amazon Prime Day stunk. Thanks, Amazon. The dads then discuss the piercings that say, "...

2015-08-1238 min