Shows
Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 116 - The Dodgy OneMatt and Kev try to record a podcast whilst standing in the shadow of Hinkley Nuclear Power Station, well, Matt is... Unsurprisingly the reception ain't great. Mucho Apologias! What do you want for nothing?2025-06-1637 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 115 Springtime Slaughter List Review, Sort Of…Matt and Kev discuss the Spring Slaughter lists and rabbit on about things that have caught their fancy.2025-04-201h 28Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 114 - The Banter Bus Goes To DurhamKev’s back ! Matt and Kev play a game. Kev wins. Kev deals with the demise of Skype. Kev reviews the Durham lists. Matt lounges about swearing and reciting poetry. Plus ca change!
No one reads this bit anyway.2025-04-101h 19
Paired Weapons PodcastAOW7 List Reviews - A Sort of Paired Weapons ProductionAOW7 List Reviews - A Sort of Paired Weapons Production by Matt Perris + Kevin Stonebanks2025-02-151h 22Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 113 The Ballad of the Blind Squirrel Nut FrenzyMatt and Kev while away and hour and a quarter talking about how the sun even shines on a dog's arse sometimes. It that grammatically correct? I dunno.2025-02-111h 14Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 112 Final Edit.mp3Episode 112 Final Edit.mp3 by Matt Perris + Kevin Stonebanks2025-01-161h 34
Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 111 - Of Mice and Ninth AgeEpisode 111 - Of Mice and Ninth Age by Matt Perris + Kevin Stonebanks2025-01-081h 17Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 110 Final Edit.mp3Episode 110 Final Edit.mp3 by Matt Perris + Kevin Stonebanks2024-12-081h 02Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 109 Final Edit.mp3Boom! WTF was that!? It’s not the Paired Weapons is it? It bloody well is!2024-11-241h 15Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 107 - Art of War 6(66) (Sing When You're Winning!)I only sing when I'm winning, sing when I'm winning, I only sing when I'm winnninnnnnnnng!!!!!2024-02-281h 14Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 106 - Points Update, UK Masters 2023 and Catch UpFollowing a period of inactivity brought on by real life shenanigans, the lads are back to catch up on a few tournaments, run through the Nov Points Patch and discuss the Masters and how neither of them are going. Booo!2023-11-211h 48Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 105 - Matt Goes It Alone - War in the NorthMatt makes the trip to Bonnie Scotland to play in the War in the North, alas without Kev. Can Matt shift his Masters bid one step closer or will his wretched ones run into a wall of armour? Only one way to find out...2023-10-0648 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 104 - We're Back and Full o' Beans!OK, fine, we'll do some more. After literally two people wrote us (abusive) messages the lads fold under the pressure and start broadcasting again, loud and proud. Shall we never be set free?2023-09-191h 40Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 103 - ETCSorry about the sound quality... The lads drag themselves back from a hectic ETC and try to pod on the way home in the car, with mixed results... Big changes are afoot for the lads and we hope that you enjoy(ed) the pod!2023-08-232h 43Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 102 - ETC Preview With Super Special GuestsWith the ETC in the offing the lads are joined by gargants of the ninth age world, literally around the world, as they nervously eye up the Big Kahoona starting next week in Amsterdamage.2023-07-191h 55Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 101 - March 4 Victory and New Challenger ReviewThe lads come crashing through the door with their pockets stuffed with wonderous tales of battle. Some of which are even true. Partially. Enjoy!2023-06-272h 45Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 100100 Not Out !!!! The lads make it to the big ton in the esteemed company of Craig Macanany (sp?) to go through the lists for the New Challenger Tournament at EG this weekend. Join the lads to see what the new filth is... sneak preview... they live in the woods... In other news Wrooty goes nuts and picks 122 Judicators.2023-05-282h 31Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 99 - The Orcs and Goblins Are Coming!Kev and Matt are fashionably late to the party in reviewing the O and G book. Gather round spambots as Uncles Kev and Matt hold forth with poorly informed chatter on the matter,2023-05-162h 12Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 98 - The English ChampionshipsOnce again players of The Ninth Age draw forth to the English Championships in Stockport. Can the Empire overcome overwhelming odds and Matt's lack of skill? Will Kev's KoE bus throw a shoe (tyre?)? Who's the best karaoke singer on the circuit? Will Kev be sick again? Find out... Also - Noob on Noob Red Hot Action!2023-04-282h 21Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 97 TEC Lists ReviewBoom. Lists frenzy. Enjoy your drives whilst Matt and Kev wax lyrical about things they know little.2023-04-141h 43Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 96 - A Long Expected Catch UpKev's back from Paris and Matt is back from North Wales and so on such a beautiful day what could be more lovely than a pod? The spambots deserve it! Sorry for the delay... Happy Easter everyone!2023-04-081h 26Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 95.5 The March to War 2Matt couldn’t make this one so Henry G (aka Johnny Crass) steps in to review the lists for March to War 2 with Kev. Don’t worry, Matt will be back for the next episode!2023-03-161h 40Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 95 - Points UpdateYou know how you used to be able to do triple cannon? Well, you can't anymore. BOOOOOOO!!!! Also, other point updates.2023-03-061h 37Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 94 - Art of War 5Hot on the heels of late-running Episode 93 comes Episode 94 chock full of Ninth Age Battle Report goodness and widespread Uber usage.2023-02-132h 02Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 93 - Bristol List ReviewArriving three days after its of any use to anyone, Matt and Kev try to review 58 lists in 80 minutes whilst Kev pilots the lads South. Good luck with that!2023-02-131h 23Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 93 - Bristol Lists ReviewArriving three days too late to be of any use to anyone Matt and Kev try to review 58 lists in 80 minutes. Good luck with that!2023-02-131h 23Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 92 - Ruminations on the special scenarios at Art of War (Bristol))Kev and Matt bring you a podette covering the special scenarios at Art Of War... So, if you're confused then maybe this will help you. Maybe...2023-02-0248 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 91 - The Masters 2023 With Ciaran DunneThe lads are joined by newly crowned Master of the UK and ROI Ciaran Dunne to discuss the recent tournament in Durham as well as a little bit of a peep into the Vermin Swarm enthusiast's background, enjoy!2023-01-252h 43Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 90 - Masters List Review 2023 With Craig JohnsonThe Waiting's Over!!! Here they are in all their glory! With Craig Johnson2023-01-092h 05Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 89 - The UK and ROI Masters Interviews with Guiem, Tom P and WesThe lads are joined by three qualifiers for the 2023 Masters to discuss all things Ninth Age and Gin related. Including a pop quiz! Enjoy2023-01-041h 16Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 88 - Tranche Trois!Fresh from the World Cup Final and possibly tipsy the lads cover the third slice of Ninth Age Update Goodness. With all you need to know about the Empire, Warriors, some other factions and Lionel Messi. Enjoy!2022-12-202h 05Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 87 - Updates Part DeuxSorry it's late! Blame RL.2022-12-071h 13Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 86 - Updates!It's that time of year again when we need to write new magic cards. Join Matt and Kev as they struggle through their hang overs and bring you the magic updates and KoE live from the top of a ladder.2022-11-231h 19Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 85 - Breakthrough ReviewWith both the lads sporting crushing hangovers they drag themselves from their beds to give you the pod that (some) spambots have been demanding - the review of Breakthrough 2022. Complete with dogs being sick we hope you enjoy!2022-11-222h 20Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 84 - Breakthrough Lists Review With Drs Dan and OliThe lads are joined by not one but two Doctors - Dr Dan of Legend and Dr Oli Mather, Capt of ETC Team Wales, to review the upcoming Breakthrough at Element Games. Nervously Kev and Matt await the verdict on their offerings...2022-11-032h 26Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 83 - Infernal Zoo Review With James and JohnnyThe lads are joined by James Wroot and Johnny C (Henry G) to dicuss the Infernal Zoo recently run in Sunny Cal-i-forn-i-a. Matt makes a huge apologias and Kev is sick but soldiers on. Enjoy!2022-10-241h 49Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 82 - The Last Brawl (aka We'll try that again!)The lads try to record episode 82 again after the internet gremlins stole our first attempt for their nefarious purposes, we'll run that one again soon but in the meantime we bring you a review of the State of the Union of t9a in the UK and a review of Kev's trip to Walsall. Enjoy!2022-10-112h 23Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 81 - New South Wales GT With Angus Sturt-BrayThe lads keep the Antipodean theme going with another guest from Down Under, this time dialing in from sunny Brisbane, at some ungodly hour of the morning, is friend of the podcast and Australian Aristocrat Angus Sturt-Bray. We take in a range of topics but among them are the lists for the upcoming New South Wales GT. Enjoy!2022-09-162h 41Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 80 - From the Land of the Long White Cloud; SA Book Mini ReviewThe lads are back from their self imposed exile with a very special guest all the way from... well... when you get to Australia, keep going! There you'll find the Land of the Long White Cloud and one of the nicest players in the Ninth Ageasphere and we're delighted to have him on board for our first look at the new SA Book. Enjoy!2022-09-061h 45Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 79 - ETC SpectacularCrikey, that was quite something.... Join the boys for a tale so epic it would have made Homer cry with jealousy. Thrilling highs, terrifying lows, it's got it all. World class players, pizza, boiling temperatures, cans of Turbo Tennants, running in the sun, pizza, crazy drivers, San Marino thunderstorms and pizza.
It's a whopper! Enjoy!2022-08-115h 00Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 78 - ETC Pairings ExerciseThe lads are on a short countdown to the ETC and things are heating up in all sorts of ways... With pairings on our minds we take the spambots through a pairing exercise versus a theoretical and randomly selected team from the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg. How do the Bravehearts measure up against the boys from the Duchy?
Two weeks to go!2022-07-221h 46Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 77 - If I Ruled The Ninth Age World....The lads are back with long-time pod-bro Johnny Crass (aka Henry Greig) to discuss their 5 top things that they would change if they ruled the ninth age world. It's probably for the best that they don't but, hey, anyone can dream eh?2022-06-221h 42
Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 76 TEC Review - Didn't We (Kev)Almost Have It AllAnother year and another TEC (The English Championships) is done and dusted. Some have soared higher than an eagle and others sunk lower than whale poo. I'll let you guess who did which... Ten weeks to ETC!2022-06-012h 53Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 75 - Matt's TEC List (aka Matt Re-invents the wheel)As Kev departs for Spanish shores to work on his Vegan Farm, the lads draw near to discuss Matt's TEC list. Shamelessly pretending to be informative Kev is forced to listen to Matt justify Wretched Ones and Feldraks inclusion en masse for the Stockport Showdown. And no Chosen Lord in a move that will surprise no one. Alea iacta est.2022-05-151h 13Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 74 - Black Country Teams Brawl Lists Review and PredictionsBy popular demand the lads drag themselves back to the podding desk to review the upcoming BCTB. Joined by a veritable sage the boys consider the might of the Old Boys Club, revel in the mystery of an 1100 point character and wonder if Dr Dan wrote all the lists. You never know!2022-05-045h 47Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 73 - Beast Herds ReviewThe lads take a trip down to the woods to see what all the noise is about. Fortunately Kev is known to the Herds and as such they (probably) won't eat Matt. Although they might, you never can tell... So, join the boys for Kev's insights into the officially lowest ranked faction in the game. Oh yes, Mr and Mrs Mino say hi.2022-04-193h 20Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 72 - The Scottish ChampionshipsThe lads drag themselves back to the microphone from their various RL and Total War commitments and promise never to be so naughty again. So, please stop emailing, texting and shouting at us in the street! We're back with more ill informed chat and even the occasional T9A thought. Enjoy!2022-04-023h 25Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 71 - Bristol Art of War 4 ReviewThe lads make the journey south in the teeth of Storn Eunice to play in the Bristol based Art of War 4 and then home in the teeth of Storm Franklin loaded with a treasure trove of stories from the battlefield. Enjoy!2022-02-231h 54Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 70 - North American Masters List Review 2022Howdy Partners! The lads are joined once again by Henry G from the US of A to discuss the Masters lists for this years North American Showdown. Who will walk away with the coveted Mantle of the Colonies Best Player? Get this in your ear holes and place your bets!
In other news, the UK is blown into the sea.2022-02-181h 47Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 69 - Balance Patch 2022Much puerile humour ensues as the lads reach an important landmark. In other news the balance patch is out. That poor chap at New Recruit....2022-02-1049 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 68 - A Busy Few WeeksThe lads get together to catch up with all that's been happening in the last few weeks since Matt disappeared into the mountains and Kev flew the pod solo. Celtic League, Scotland Training Weekend and the upcoming Bristol Art of War among others. Enjoy.2022-02-0857 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 67 - Masters Review With The Master Ed MurdochThe lads are joined by the new UK and ROI Master Ed Murdoch to revel in his glory and by association elevate themselves to the status of gods!
We're not going to lie, this was our second attempt at the pod which didn't record the first time and the second attempt was also beset by technical issues as Matt goes missing half way through! We apologise but as Herodutus once said 'not rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night shall keep the Paired Weapon Podcast from thine ear holes.' Or something like that anyway.2022-01-271h 25Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 66 - Jeff Keeling Masters InterviewOn the eve of the UK and ROI Masters Kev and Matt are joined by Jeff Keeling of South West England fame (an Arthurian Wessexian?)whose rare sorties into the tournament scene are frighteningly succesful. A real unknown quantity this player, don't be surprised if this Beast Herder is in the mix come late Sunday... Oh, and a bloody nice chap and dog lover!2022-01-1450 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 65 - Masters 2022 List ReviewTo run you through the Masters lists the lads are joined by none other that Dr Dan Thomas and Henry Grieg (Johnny Crass) all the way from Manchester and California respectively. (Henry got up at 4 am to do the pod!) We hope that you enjoy the scoop of the year and we're sorry about the feedback on one of the mics...2022-01-081h 37Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 64 - Masters Interview with Mikey Newman (!!!!!)The lads are joined by the legend that is Mikey Newman to discuss the upcoming Masters and all things T9a including his role in the Rules Team, The Balance Patch, The Faction Tier and various LAB's plus his long and distinguished career as Capt of England ETC and a pro painter amongst many, many other hobby rekated matters and some non hobby too. Has the podcast ever been so honoured!2022-01-041h 46Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 63 - Masters Interview with Chay Davies-SmithKev and Matt are joined by T9A Enforcer Chay to discuss all things Masters related. The first of our three Masters interviews with the UK and Ireland's Top 16 Players, the lads find out what makes the Big Man tick and, crucially, how many of the Masters Qualifiers Chay could fight at once.2022-01-0335 minPaired Weapons PodcastBackgroundEpisode 62 - The Background Process with Ed MurdochThe lads are graced by the presence of Ed Murdoch (aka Scottish Knight) to discuss the role palyed by the Background Team in T9a which he runs amongst a myriad of other roles deep in the engine room of our game. If you've ever wondered where the faction books come from then this pod is for you!2022-01-031h 23Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 61 - KoE Full Book ReviewMerry Christmas to Listeners and Spambots! Uncles Matt and Kev are climbing down your chimney with a present to gladden your heart. And possible steal your beer. Joining us in Festive Gladness is SirMC2015 from the KoE LAB Team who adds a degree of class and elegance to our otherwise plebian traipse through the Kingdom of Equitaine. With such powerful allies no doubt deep insights will result and if not, once we've had some beer then they surely will.
Happy Holidays!2021-12-253h 18Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 59 - Smith F Invitational UpdateKev and Matt bring you and the spambots up to date with their progress in the Smith F Invitational. Can Kev cope without Mr and Mrs Mino? Will Matt get a single pity vote in the public poll? Can the no chaff Warriors cope with world class opposition? Who knows?! Join us to find out.
Ps - Vote for Matt. Please.2021-12-191h 19Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 58 - The English Championships ReviewThe lads finally get together to review The English Championships. Can Kev win Best painted? Can Matt refrain from fouling himself? Will anyone playing dwarves have any fun at all? What is a Krapple? Why is Henry dressed like that? How much curry can one Swede eat? Only one way to find out.... Oh yeah, theres some games to talk about too.2021-12-041h 37Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 57 - The English Championships PreviewOn your way to Stockport? Want some poorly informed chat about lists that Matt and Kev have pilfered from others? Then this is your pod. Of course it's also for anyone interested in T9a too, just saying...
Oh, and I'm sorry about the nasal blockage. Couldn't be helped....2021-11-191h 17Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 53 - Empire of Sonnstahl Book ReviewSo, if it's army book reviews that you want then army book reviews you shall have! This time its the turn of the Boys With The Feathers In Their Hats, EoS. Occupying a special place in Matt's heart the Pajama Wearers have been described as the army that takes and never gives. But, boy oh boy, you've gotta love those big blocks! Enjoy!2021-09-083h 07Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 52 - Warriors Army Book ReviewHaving noticed that army book review pods seem to get more listens, Matt and Kev shamelessly review the one book that they both know pretty well, viz; Warriors. In other news both your hosts win a game and it's nice and hot again. Too hot, in fact. There's no pleasing us.2021-08-302h 25Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 48 - No I in Team Rounds 3-5The lads are back to review the final games from No I in Team rounds 3-5. Sorry they're late but we've been busy!
Kev drags himself from his drinking hammock to do the pod whilst Matt surprises all by doing some painting.
Oh, and it's hot, really hot. Yay. Sort of....2021-06-031h 27Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 43 - Happy Birthday Paired Weapons Podcast (Featuring No I First Round)Happy Birthday to The Paired Weapon Podcast! One year ago a pod was born. I know, it seems longer. Much longer. But it isn't, it's only a year... But WHAT a Year!!! Tournaments won, toys thrown, models painted (by Kev), dreams crushed and friends made. It's been a roller coaster all right but we've loved every second. Well... mostly.
In other news the lads sign up for the UK's first team tournament, No I In Team, run by the Mighty Mighty Mikey Newman (definitely one of the two best players in the UK), Matt starts playing Empire (again) and Kev...2021-04-111h 34Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 42 - Kev is Crowned King beyond the Wall - All Hail King Kev!He only went and did it!!!!!!!!
North of the Wall lies the land of King Kev - King In The North! Bow down before the might of the 5 monster list, Mr and Mrs Mino and the Soothsayer on the Mario Cart. Demons, elves, dwarfs, lizards, you name it, he's hammered them...
We couldn't be more proud.
In other news Matt doesn't remember how he did, sadly records have been destroyed in a fire, the origins of which shall never be known...
Yay - King Kev!!!
Enjoy...2021-03-271h 26Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 41 - Kev's Ascent - The Scottish Championships Draw to a CloseWell, the end of TSC is nigh and Matt gets all Shakespearean as the lads regale listeners with takes of such woe and joy that the Bard himself would bite his fist in fury that he had not penned such classics. Whilst Kev 'Fiery Tybalt - Prince of Cats' is flying high and touching glory Matt gets left with the Nursemaid's role, or perhaps even less than that, not even an Iago for the lad. Such are the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
Join us to find out just how far Kev can take the Pain Train and guffaw...2021-03-221h 40Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 40 - Kev and Matt Tour Scotland, With Mixed Results...The lads are back with tales from North of the Border as The Scottish Champs get underway. Can Kev keep the Beasts going after his Masters Debut? Can Matt do better than last years TSC? Who knows? But, we're going to find out!
Also, the Usual Bollocks is back and Trent's Ballsy Move Of The Week is awarded to a new player.
Thrills and spills abound. Enjoy.2021-03-161h 32Paired Weapons PodcastPWP and Guests Christmas Party Extravaganza - (aka Episode 36)The PWP Christmas Gift To You, Dear Listener!
The lads are joined by Johnny Crass from California, Jack Chapman of Thundercocks Fame, Henry P Miller of the 'Ammertrime Podcast live from Copenhagen and the PTG Boys Tom and Staff (Lucky 6's and Hyper - G) from the East Midlands in a Yuletide extravaganza. Add a slack handful of lagers from around the world and a tenuous Skype connection, what could go wrong...?
Featuring a singing Matt, a Henry-Off and Kev''s IT wizardry, there's something for everyone. as long as you love T9a. If not, I'd probably give it a...2020-12-282h 03Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 34 - Dread Elf Review With Pascal (aka SmithF)The lads are on overtime this week with another Podcast, this time with the ubiquitous Pascal of forum SmithF fame one of the original band of merry men that started the whole T9a thing, (Pascal was 6th to sign up for the game!) Also, as a purveyor of the best battle reps on the 'net he's no slouch on the tabletop either. Belgium ETC player since 2016 and a medical Doctor in his spare time, all round great bloke we are privileged to have him on board to guide us through the new DE book. As a member of the...2020-12-102h 09Paired Weapons PodcastDread Elf Mounts and Menagerie - Paired Weapons Podcast SpecialAhead of the Main Book Release on the 10th December the Paired Weapons Podcast are delighted and honoured to bring you a sneak peak into the Dread Elf Mounts and Menagerie.
The usual hosts, Matt and Kev, are joined by Henry P Miller to discuss the big and bad beasts of the Dread Elves. And, boy, are them some crackers.... so lock up your Feldraks and quake before the might of the lads from Silexia!
Enjoy!2020-12-0640 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 33 - The Revenge of the Wall (Autumn Assault Rd 3/4)The lads bring you right up to date with Autumn Assault. Matt goes on a winning spree (courtesy of a wall)and Kev gets a nosebleed! Can 2020 get any weirder?!
Also, exciting DE news!2020-11-271h 30Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 31 - Even a Blind Squirrel Finds The Odd Nut...The lads are back with some remarkable news from the latest UB tournaments Scrapyard Scuffle and Autumn Assault.
Matt goes on an unprecedented winning streak before crashing back to Earth courtesy of some Greenskins whilst Kev is on the end of some bad UB dice before trouncing some KoE.
The highs and lows have never been so pronounced...2020-11-121h 53Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 30 - Halloween Special (Featuring The New Soundtrack!)It's the spookiest time of the year (and Kev's Favourite time too!) so the lads chat all things Halloween and shamelessly shoehorn it into T9a. Revel in the glorious and glory manner in which we consider out most spooky faction, most spooky magic path and most spooky random mover....
In other news Kev paints a giant and Matt gets a rare win!
Fill your beaks Listener, it's Ninth Age Time....2020-10-291h 10Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 29 - Kev's Lament (Featuring Bent Lists)With Real Life being obnoxious the lads come up for a breath of air and cram in a podcast for your listening pleasure. As Manchester heads into semi lockdown, Kev and Matt come to terms with playing UB for the rest of the year (probably) and write some sick lists for upcoming tournaments - Scrapyard Scuffle and Autumn Assault.
Kev bewails Mr Mino's lack of form and his renewed loathing of Druidism whilst Matt takes a bent list to a charity event and feels bad about it. A bit. Ok, maybe a smidgen. Fine, not at all.
Enjoy!2020-10-241h 18Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 28.5 - Bonus Track - Warriors and Cavalry RantWith out last guest called back into the Real World but with many miles still to go the boys just keep on recording and take on the Warriors book with no vestige of a plan except that of a burning love to talk about the lads from the Wastelands. Such an amorphous and causal chat is soon hijacked by Matt who wants to rant about cavalry and does so. Kev just keeps painting and lets Matt get it out of his system because he's class act.
We hope that enjoy the extra episode and appreciate the glimpse into the lives...2020-10-061h 21Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 28 - Scott Jones and the Art of Great Painting (Also Dread Elves)The lads are joined by Nemeroth of Forum Fame, the creator of amazing painting projects and conversions, who does a few laps on the Pod alongside Matt and Kev. In real life Scott is also a Background Team Member and winner of multiple painting awards which leads to much puffing of chests from the hosts as we compare achievements in the field of painting, the real competition as all hobbyists know! Keeping Matt amused on his journey across the country the lads take in the usual features with yet more great input from another superb guest.
We hope that you...2020-10-061h 13Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 27 Lockdown Brawl Review - The Sad Tale of the Lonely Kin EaterThe lads are back with a heavy load of tales from the Lockdown Brawl, the UK's first UB ranking tournament. Some are tales of joy and rapture and others so dark that the Brothers Grimm would reject them as too scary.
Matt bangs on about geese and other rubbish whilst Kev rails against the recent changes in local lockdowns, both though will hopefully bring a smile to your face in these testing times.
In other news, Matt learns the hard way about doing your homework and Kev's Mr Mino goes on (another) massive killing spree.
We hope that you enjoy...2020-09-281h 59Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 25 - It's Magic! (Also Review of 3 Ongoing UB Tournaments)Kev's home from his holiday and the lads are back to talking about T9a. This episode they take on the mighty task of reviewing their progress in various ongoing UB tournaments (all three!) and then discuss magic as though they understand what they are talking about. Which is questionable.
In a reversal of form from earlier in the year Matt hits an epic and unprecedented run of form whilst Kev is becalmed with both KoE and DL. Can Mr and Mrs Mino get him back to winning ways?
Only one way to find out....2020-08-161h 33Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 24 - Lockdown Brawl Preview With Thundercock Jack Chapman (aka Kev's quiet mic)Warning - Kev's technical Gremlins have rendered his mic super quiet - for this we apologise, a new mic is on it's way...
The lads are joined by Jack Chapman from the Thundercocks Podcast to preview the UK and Rep of Ireland's First UB Ranking Tournament - The Lockdown Brawl. Selected lists and first round prediction goodness is joyously spread before like some sort of T9a Smorgasbord, much of which is ill informed gibberish but fun none-the -less.
The guys also cover Jack's Thunderknock(out) UB tournament whilst Matt tries to recall his Shakespeare from many, many years ago...2020-08-061h 44Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 23 - Celtic Cup 2 Group Stage Round UpMatt and Kev bring you another all-action pod covering the thrills and spills of the group stages in CC2. Can Matt get the Feldraks going? Can Kev rediscover the KOE after his Beast Herd escapades? All is revealed in the latest ear candy from the Paired Weapons Podcast.
In other news the lads both put new microphones on their birthday lists as the sound-gremlins reemerge for which they are terribly sorry and hope it doesn't spoil your fun! Matt apologises for a mistake no one's noticed and Kev signs up for the Thunder Cocks Knock Out tournament with a surprising...2020-08-0151 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 22 - 16 Factions in One Hour? No Problem - Celtic Cup 2 Lists ReviewWith the Celtic Cup 2 now fully underway the lads attempt to review all 16 armies in an hour, one from each faction in the Ninth Age. Having given themselves 60 minutes they then waste a bunch of time talking about other things such as book recommendations (Matt gets the author's name wrong), painting updates and Kev's unwarranted and irrational prejudice against bases.
If you want to have a look at the lists then here they are in all their glory!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/12wJRoPyHDYYbtJCayzxsKGIE1RcSgo9J9mh9PVSFWRM/edit?usp=sharing
In other news Matt paints lots of walls...2020-07-261h 15Paired Weapons PodcastGuess Who's Back? - Episode 20Boom! We're back! Rumours of our demise are shown to have been much exaggerated as the Podcasting Paired Weapons burst back into the podoshpere and down your ear holes with Episode 20! Broadcast directly from Matt's new house (which nearly killed him and others moving into)Kev graces Matt with his presence and the lads record Face to Face, in a truly weird experience for all concerned.
Covering the Final of Celtic Cup 1 and the newly set up Celtic Cup 2 (The Revenge of the Fras)the lads both look backwards and forwards to more UB Tournaments whilst pondering many-a-thing.
In other...2020-07-061h 15Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 19 - Signal May Be Lost As We Enter The Tunnel...Kev and Matt are back with short podcast to tide you over as Matt prepares the Herculean task of moving house with inevitable consequences for podding output. Hopefully we'll be right back in the swing by early July... hopefully...
In other news the lads discuss their plans for a 'live commentary' podcast of the Celtic Cup final and Kev recounts his latest epic struggle on UB, including a long diatribe from Matt of the nature of UB dice and algorithms of which he clearly has little or no understanding.
Also, we unveil a new feature - 'Kev's Box of Broken...2020-06-2354 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 18 - Orcs and Goblins With Rob CousinsLock Up Your Everything! Here Come The Orcs and Goblins!
Braving a massive thunderstorm Matt and Kev are joined by the Vale Renegade and savant of all things Green and Choppy - Rob Cousins - to discuss big things hitting other big things with even bigger things. The secrets of T9a's most lovable rogues are forthcoming in a tsunami of Orcs, Goblins and their (Big 'N Nasty)friends whilst the heavens crash and roil in the background - very thematic!
In other news Matt has to dig a drainage channel whilst podding and Kev tries on a bunch of...2020-06-172h 47Paired Weapons PodcastThe Celtic Cup - Pool Stages RoundupRumours of our demise are much exaggerated! After a weeks holiday from podding Matt and Kev are back with tales from the Celtic Cup Pool Stages brilliantly organised by James of Team Ireland and Fras of Team Scotland.
Kev makes minor changes to his BH list bringing in some centaurs for giggles and extra punch whilst Matt tries to reinvent The Empire with a wall of flaggies and inquisitors, no BSB and Dis 8 on the General.
Predictable results ensue but amusing tales abound, so join your favourite (or at least top 5) podders as they do battle with their Celtic Brethren...2020-06-141h 24Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 16 - Team Scotland - Assemble! Social Distancing Grand Finale!Kev and Matt are joined by the other members of the mighty, mighty Team Scotland , Paul and Callum, to tell tall tales of our last round of the Social Distancing UB Tournament.
Will your hosts be the sad recipients of the wooden spoon? Can Kev keep the mino pain-train going? Can Matt, Paul and Callum keep up with the trail blazing Beast Herds? Find out in Episode 16.
In other news we discuss new lists post SD, Matt repeatedly mispronounces 'Porthos' as 'Pathos' - an unforgivable error that will cause his old English Language teacher to hunt him down like the...2020-06-051h 53Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 15 - Analyse This! Maths and The Empire with Nerocrossius.Matt and Kev are joined from across the Pond by our first American guest and professional Risk Analyst, Nerocrossius, to discuss his innovative and revolutionary approach to the Empire. Breathing new life into list options that other just cast aside, the New Mexico Master Mind turns his focus upon, among others, the enigmatic Inquisitor and (Matt's favourites)the Flaggies. If you've ever wondered which units should be in your list, this might be the moment that changes everything...
In other news Kev decides to snipe Inquisitors on sight and Matt threatens to run 10k dressed as a Reiter.2020-05-311h 33Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 14 - When Henry Met The Highborn.The name's Henry... Henry P Miller...
That's right - we've only gone and talked the host of Ammertime onto the Paired Weapons Podcast! Kev and Matt are joined by T9a's most eligible bachelor and man-about-Ninth-Age to talk Highborn Elves, Moldovan Wine and the works of John Constable.
In other news, Kev offers to take Matt to a Heavy Metal Concert, Matt waxes lyrical about the Romantic Art Movement and much man love abounds!2020-05-293h 00Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 13 - Donde esta mi Tequila?! Scotland vs Mexico SD Round 5With more spice than an burrito rammed with jalapenos Team Scotland go Mano a Mano vs the might of Moctezuma's Revenge from the sprawling metropolis of Mexico City.
Can Matt regain some momentum after the brick wall that was round 4? Can Kev keep the mino bus on the road for one more lap of the track? There's only one way to find out... buckle up and open your ear holes... we're heading South of the Border! Arriba!!!!
In other news Kev paints some bases and moans about them even though they look amazing and Matt picks a list guaranteed to...2020-05-261h 51
Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 12 - 'The Joy is Nothing Without the Pain...' Social Distancing Round 4'When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope...' Phil Connors - Groundhog Day
Riding high on the back of two wins in the last round of SD, Matt and Kev come crashing back to Earth courtesy of the Fine Gentlemen of 'Team No Dickheads'. But as Chekhov points out, all winters end with a glorious Spring!
In other news - Beware the UB Dice Betrayers!2020-05-201h 03Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 11 - Is there a Doctor in the House? Yes! Dr Dan Thomas Talks IDMatt and Kev are treated to a fireside chat with the Ninth Age Gargant, Breakthrough Winner, former ETC Team England Stalwart, ESC Top Ten Finisher, Taekwondo Black Belt, Professional Research Physicist, All Round Great Guy And Provider of Tea - Dr Dan Thomas who once went 18 months without failing to podium. Dan shares his (powerful) insights into the new ID book as your host gasp in awe at the treasure trove that is revealed. Kev goes on a bicycle ride into the hills and Matt gets excited and references Hobbes' Leviathan to no real end.2020-05-171h 30Paired Weapons PodcastRed Light On. Green Light On. Door Open....Go! Go! Go! Hot Drop - Infernal Dwarves InboundEpisode 10 - Hotter than a Kadim's Rage in Mid Summer and scorching off the press it's the new Infernal Dwarves book.
Matt and Kev stay up late to traipse through the Blasted Plain in search of the the new secrets of the Infernal Dwarves. Stopping frequently to marvel at the spectacles therein your hosts ruminate on the nature of the Big Hat Brigade, consider the world of possibilities that the book unleashes and make some wild predictions that will surely come to pass. Or maybe not. So, have a vassal levy pull up your favourite Chair of Authority and join...2020-05-142h 11
Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 9 - Scream if you wanna go faster! - SD Round 3:Team Scotland vs USAs Little GiantsMatt and Kev are now well and truly locked into the Social Distancing UB Tournament and there's no way to get off this roller coaster - it only ends one way and that's with VICTORY OR DEATH! In Round 3 Team Scotland pulls the mighty USA based team Little Giants - Matt panics and deploys terribly whilst Kev misplays a hill with hilarious consequences - but will it end their chances of glory? Or can they pull it back for the Bravehearts? Only one way to find out; jump onboard, buckle up and scream if you wanna go faster. It's going...2020-05-1258 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 8 - Beyond the Veil - Shaun Hughes and the Daemon Legions !!Matt and Kev venture beyond the Veil! Most ably guided through those treacherous lands by Shaun Hughes of the Western Realms. Everything that you've ever wanted to know about DL in all it's (Blazing) Glory! Kev reveals his acting history and Matt gets all Game Of Thrones of us.2020-05-082h 51Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 7 - Don't Stand So Close To Me... - Social Distancing Cup - Round 2Kev and Matt, fresh from round 2 of the Social Distancing UB Tournament, report back with tales of woe and victory versus the mighty Team Yes. We find out why Kev's called Axel Viscous and a little bird fights a big bird which gets Matt's poetic juices flowing.2020-05-061h 10Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 6 - The Social Distancing UB Tournament - And Other GloriesWith the UB servers running read hot to keep up the unprecedented demand, Matt and Kev take on the world (with mixed results)and the Paired Weapons Podcast's honour is tested live on You Tube courtesy of PTG's very own Luck Sixes in a drunken match complete with heckling from the esteemed guests.2020-04-2556 minPaired Weapons PodcastEpisode 5 - Something Wicked This Way Comes... Scotland and Mad Git Radio's Andrew Lind Talks VCScotland? Fighting? Dark Arts? Very Shakespearean. We've got it all in episode 5 as we're joined by the one and only Big Git - Andrew Lind - of Mad Git Radio fame to discuss the VC. Other topics covered include The English Civil War (Scottish Expansion Pack), Matt's continued poor run of form (now in its 28th year) and some geology.2020-04-202h 48Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 4 - Tim Bohknecht 'A Tale of Slow Painters'Kev and Matt are joined by the Master of Shenanigans, the King of the Movement Phase and UK Masters Best Painted Winner - Tim Bohknecht - to discuss the T9a painting scene. Tim proposes an exciting new venture; 'A Tale of Slow Painters'. We oblige him to play our feature games Desert Island Ninth Age, Ancient Enemies and the other one that Matt always forgets. In other news Kev tries Beast Herds MSU with mixed results whilst the lads reminisce on past painting glories...great times. Matt gets elected to High Office and invites suggestions for the UK Masters...2020-04-181h 02Paired Weapons PodcastEpisode 3 - Play Style... Matt and Kev Become Introspective...Having heard from the UK Master Craig Johnson that great players have a play style, Matt and Kev wonder what their play style is. Establishing that losing isn't really a play style they muse on how to improve and whether it's worth it. Then a horse escapes.2020-04-131h 08