Shows
The Simpsons IndexEp316 The Miseducation Of Lisa Simpson (Guests: Michael Swaim & Abe Epperson of Small Beans)Elliot Jay O’Neill & BT Calloway are joined by Michael Swaim & Abe Epperson to review;
S.31 E.12 “The Miseducation Of Lisa Simpson”
This is a Side Quest Studios Production
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2025-10-241h 24
The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOGDogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 249, The Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys with Michael SwaimBack in the 1990s we briefly mistook elaborate prosthetics for comedy. That's how we got The Amazing Live Sea Monkeys, a Howie Mandel production starring three suffocating improv comedians dying inside defective sex toys. Michael Swaim will explain how they influenced the course of his entire life. Presumably for the worse.
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Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK.
https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend
2025-10-151h 09
The Cracked PodcastThe Definitive Guide to Groundskeeper Willie with Michael SwaimThis Groundskeeper Willie video’s going to have it ALL - the length and girth of a Dan Carlin history podcast, the tightly-scripted humor of a VH1 Behind the Music OR BETTER, that’s just an entry-level promise, and of course we’ll learn a ton of fun facts by cataloging and explaining every single joke or reference Willie’s ever made in an ADD-fueled, Connections-inspired stream-of-consciousness frenzy! By the end of this mind-boggling journey, you’ll ken ‘em all. We’ll also create a full fictive timeline of Willie’s life, track his thirty-year relationship to Skinner and the janitorial a...
2025-09-071h 56
Small Beans892. Tales from the Pit: Way Down the Line (Feat. Ellen Swaim)Mike checks in with his Mom about the book she's writing, surviving an early life filled with cosmic horror-levels of trauma, finally finding help, and how grateful they both are to still be here.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://bsky.app/profile/michaelswaim.bsky.social
And his Mom.
Music by Abe Epperson.
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2025-07-301h 27
The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOGDogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 219, BLADESMEN: Wacky Underwater Adventure! with Michael SwaimThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Michael Swaim for a fan favorite, (and by fan we mean Robert and by favorite we mean excuse to record a podcast.) That's right, it's another episode of BLADESMEN! Ocean Edition Volume: Guh? We find our hero's right where we left off... having done something, somewhere and at some point in time! No time for lukewarm adventure? Skip to the end for the darkest of PxRNHUB's most nefarious categories!
2025-03-191h 00
Small Beans793. Costumes & Cretins - Episode 3: Two Ghostfaces & A PennywiseMichael Swaim wrote a short Dungeons & Dragons campaign for his buds Starline Hodge, Abe Epperson, and David Bell. They basically know as much as you do, so we recorded it and here it is.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Starline Hodge: https://twitter.com/starlinex
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/AbeTheMighty
David Bell: https://twitter.com/MovieHooligan
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2024-11-121h 17Small Beans788. Tales from the Pit: Codystic Fibranksis (Feat. Cody Franks)Michael meets with Cody Franks of the Least Haunted pod and Seqoidea to discuss life through the lens of his Cystic Fibrosis. Opens with the short story "run|time" voiced by Michael and Hana Michels of Spark Creative Coaching.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Cody Franks: https://www.leasthaunted.com/
Hana Michels: https://twitter.com/hanamichels
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2024-11-101h 15
Small Beans789. Costumes & Cretins - Episode 2: A Goblin Fight & A ShopMichael Swaim wrote a short Dungeons & Dragons campaign for his buds Starline Hodge, Abe Epperson, and David Bell. They basically know as much as you do, so we recorded it and here it is.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Starline Hodge: https://twitter.com/starlinex
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/AbeTheMighty
David Bell: https://twitter.com/MovieHooligan
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2024-11-071h 07Small Beans785. Costumes & Cretins - Episode 1: Introductions & A House PartyA spooky themed D&D show?! Releasing on Halloween? 10-12 hours of content released for the next 10 weeks?! Small Beans dropping a new show without any warning?!?
Michael Swaim wrote a short Dungeons & Dragons campaign for his buds Starline Hodge, Abe Epperson, and David Bell. They basically know as much as you do, so we recorded it and here it is.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Starline Hodge: https://twitter.com/starlinex
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/AbeTheMighty
David Bell: https://twitter.com/MovieHooligan
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check...
2024-10-311h 03
Small Beans775. Frame Rate: I’m A VirgoMichael Swaim and Abe Epperson sat down and watched the 7 episodes of the limited series I’m A Virgo, directed by Boots Riley. While the story is about a teen sheltered from the world due to his largeness, it becomes a social commentary about growing up Black in America along with the effects of capitalism on American communities. We talk about the impressive technical feats and filmmaking as well as the themes on display by Riley and co.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/AbeTheMighty
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://ww...
2024-10-1658 min
Only Stupid AnswersCRACKED and Beyond with Michael Swaim on TRASH TALK!This episode of TRASH TALK DJ is joined by Michael Swaim to discuss his time at CRACKED, his new book THE CLIMB, and the future of narrative fiction! Will everything become DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE? Will AI destroy art as we know it? What's on the other side of post-modernism, multiverses, and meta-fiction? Oh, and of course, Step fantasy adult video games!
Check out THE CLIMB!
https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans/shop
More DJ!
https://twitter.com/djtalkstrash
https://www.instagram.com/djtalkstrash
Theme Music by: Steven James Schmidt
For exclusive bonus podcasts like What...
2024-09-171h 24
Small Beans764. Tales from the Pit: In It (Feat. Brandon and Lisa)Michael brings on Brandon and Lisa, parents of two children (aged 1 and 3). Michael investigates the daily life and worries of the initial parenting phase. This episode continues the ongoing conversation about Michael and jenn’s leap into parenthood, including a huge announcement at the beginning of the pod!
Buy Michael’s book: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans/shop
Support Small Beans: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2024-09-141h 04
The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOGEpisode 192, Bladesmen with Michael SwaimSeanbaby and Brockway welcome special guest and fellow Cracked alum Michael Swaim to the DOGGZZONE to discuss what can loosely be described as a barbarian comic book but can more accurately be described as, SQUAAAAWWWWK!
2024-09-111h 05
Least HauntedEpisode 110: Ghost Writers in A.I. (featuring Michael Swaim)This time Cody and Garth are joined once again by the incomparable Michael Swaim to discuss the time a famous author wrote a book posthumously. That's right! It's actual ghost writers! They also discuss Michael's new book, The Climb and delve into the philosophical ramifications of generative A.I. on the world of artists and creators. So grab your Ouija™ boards, fire up the chatbots, and crack a few glo-sticks, it's about to get weird. Support us on Patreon! https://patreon.com/leasthaunted Join us on Discord! https://discord.gg/UJnE3vbtN...
2024-07-191h 25Small Beans743. Tales from the Pit: Cusping Hard (Feat. Marina and Tom Reimann)Michael brings on Marina and Tom Reimann, expecting parents and personal friends. Marina and Tom are expecting any day now so this conversation consists of Michael asking them about their journey so far, as he begins his own. This episode continues the ongoing conversation about Michael and jenn’s leap into parenthood.
The Go-Fund Me for Marina and Tom Reimann: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-marinas-highrisk-pregnancy-journey
Buy Michael’s book: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans/shop
Support Small Beans: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans
Features:
Marina Reimann: https://twitch.tv/heartfistbrain
Tom Reimann: https://twitter.com/startthemachine
Michael Swaim: https://twit...
2024-07-1759 minSmall Beans720. Tales from the Pit: Bringing a Child into the World (Feat. Abe Epperson)Michael asks Abe Epperson, fellow Small Bean, to discuss his thoughts about starting a family. They discuss regret, happiness, and the anxiety of bringing a human into the world. Abe’s pretty satisfied with not having kids, but it’s always been on Michael’s list of life goals. Let’s see how these friends navigate the conversation from two different perspectives.
Buy Michael’s book: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans/shop
Support Small Beans: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans
Features:
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/abethemighty
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Check our store to buy Small Beans merc...
2024-05-181h 14
The Best Little Horror House in PhillySynecdoche, NY (2008) with Michael Swaim (Patreon Preview)ORIGINAL EPISODE DESCRIPTION FROM PATREON:
All aboard the bus to funland - this month's bonus ep sees Michael Swaim return after his main feed discussion about Lars Von Trier's Antichrist to talk about another bundle of sunshine, Charlie Kaufman's Synecdoche, NY!
Slippery time, solipsistic myopism, romantic irony, and more... we got another dense symbology movie, folks! Don't miss out!
2024-03-021h 53
The Nation PodcastsVideo Games, War, and Capitalism With Adam Ganser and Michael Swaim | American PrestigeOn this episode of the American Prestige podcast, Danny and Derek sit down with Adam Ganser and Michael Swaim of the 1Upsmanship podcast to discuss the confluence of history, U.S. foreign policy, and capitalism in video games. The group broaches topics like the implicit politics of first-person shooters, the capitalist logic in games based on survival and growth, the portrayal of governments in different series, and how far developers can go to portray the reality of war in a game.Check out more of Adam and Michael's work at their Small Beans podcast network.O...
2024-01-3056 minSmall Beans677. Tales from the Pit: A Conversation About Death (Feat. Adam Ganser)Michael asks Adam Ganser, fellow Small Bean, to discuss his relationship with death. They discuss their faith and assumptions, and the development of death in their lives. There’s also some stories from the community that spark some further introspection.
Buy Michael’s book: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans/shop
Support Small Beans: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans
Features:
Adam Ganser: https://twitter.com/therealganz
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2024-01-271h 18Small Beans675. Frame Rate: The Game (Feat. David Bell)Michael and Abe are joined by Gamefully Unemployed’s David Bell to discuss the 1997 thriller The Game, directed by David Fincher. Michael Douglas finds himself in an expensive and existential game of cat and mouse. The gang talks about how they’re terrible at escape rooms!
This episode is brought to you by Bender Bending Rodriguez. You can be like Bender by heading over to the Small Beans patreon and pledging for the Pick the Flick tier. You can choose which movies we cover on this here Frame Rate!
Features:
David Bell: https://twitter.com/MovieHooligan
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com...
2024-01-241h 12
I'm Glad You ExistI'm Glad You Exist - Michael SwaimOH DAMN, it doesn't get much more personally special for me as far as guests go!Michael Swaim is a professional author, comedian, actor and podcaster. He became the face of the website Cracked.com during its hey-day, the popularity of which allowed him to branch off and create his own podcast network Small Beans (which can be found wherever you listen to podcasts). Michael is a genuine creative hero of mine so it was an honour to chat to him about his career, his new book 'The Climb' and being scared of death.
2024-01-151h 45Small Beans662. Tales from the Pit: BUY MY BOOK, or the Art of Self-Promotion (Feat. Jason Pargin)In a never-ending quest to both sell books and ruin his own passions and pastimes, Michael Swaim has invited fellow author Jason Pargin (John Dies at the End, Zoey Ashe series) to break down all the hardest aspects of maintaining a career as a novelist, and learns lessons that apply to all of us, especially the ones with jobs or who want things.
Buy Michael’s book: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans/shop
Support Small Beans: https://www.patreon.com/smallbeans
Features:
Jason Pargin: https://twitter.com/JasonKPargin
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Check our store to buy Sm...
2023-12-131h 13
The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOGDogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 153, Burt Ward's Erotic Memoirs With Michael SwaimSeanbaby lures lascivious lads Brockway and Michael Swaim to his lusty lair of libidinous libations to read from the erotic memoirs of Burt Ward, TV's Robin. JIZZ. POW. HOLY FUCK this I'm not writing like that anymore.
2023-12-131h 34Small Beans648. Frame Rate: Bowling for Columbine (Feat. Katy Stoll)Michael and Abe are joined by Katy “Big Stollhouse” Stoll to discuss 2002’s Bowling for Columbine, directed by Michael Moore. They discuss propaganda, America, and sadly, the enduring legacy of its topic.
Features:
Katy Stoll: https://twitter.com/katystoll
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/AbeTheMighty
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2023-11-181h 05
Finally, the Podcast from FertikWill Swaim, Finally (Podcast) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michaelfertik.substack.com
2023-11-121h 36
Small Beans637. 1Upsmanship: TastemakersThe day you’ve been waiting for has arrived. 1Upsmanship returns! New season, new place! This show’s new home is on the Small Beans patreon channel. For a few bucks a month, you will get 2 episodes of 1Ups every month! Pretty cool!
The show returns with an episode about games that formed the hosts’ form and shape of what “games should be.” A look into the gaming brains of one Michael Swaim and one Adam Ganser.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Adam Ganser: https://twitter.com/therealganz
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallB...
2023-10-161h 29
Small Beans621. Like Razorblade Pie: Catman (Feat. Stephen Wright & Chase Stowell)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story Catman and the guests are Stephen Wright and Chase Stowell, the co-editors and writers for Impossible Worlds, a quarterly Sci-Fi and Fantasy digital magazine.
This story is pretty obscure, so Michael took the time to digitize the prose, so go ahead and thank him. We’ll wait.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AzRslUk5QN...
2023-09-0152 min
Small Beans606. Kings of King: Michael Jackson’s GhostsAbe and Mike discuss the 1996 horror film/music video Ghosts! The Kings discuss the obvious metaphor at the center of the story, the stacked crew assembled to produce the film, and the insane scream that MJ does during the dance numbers.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/AbeTheMighty
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2023-07-121h 03
The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOGDogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 127, Sexual Martial Arts with Michael Swaim and Abe EppersonSeanbaby throws open the doors of his sexual dojo to admit all challengers! Brockway and guests, Michael Swaim and Abe Epperson, accept this foolish offer. We're talking about Zenno Jojido, the sexual martial art of dick manipulation. Of course, you assumed that!
2023-06-141h 23Small Beans596. Like Razorblade Pie: The Sky Is Burning (Feat. Cody Johnston)Check out our movie’s crowdfunding page and consider dropping some coin on our largest ambition YET: https://seedandspark.com/fund/papa-bear
This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story The Sky Is Burning and the guest is Cody Johnston.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Cody Johnston: https://twitter.com/drmistercody
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreo...
2023-05-2648 min
Quick Question with Soren and DanielMichael Swaim and Abe Epperson Stop By!Daniel is joined by two old Cracked favorites, Michael and Abe, to discuss their new independent film, and eventually get to a quick question! To support their new movie go to https://seedandspark.com/fund/papa-bearFollow the guys on Bluesky!https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.socialBonus episodes 2x/month at patreon.com/quickquestion OR Apple Podcasts
2023-05-171h 05
The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOGDogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 123, Brad Stallion in Sex Olympics with Michael Swaim and Abe EppersonBrockway invites Seanbaby and guests, Michael Swaim and Abe Epperson, to the Sex Olympics. Sorry, BRAD STALLION'S Sex Olympics. It's a careful, erotic game of never quite fucking, snakeplay, and battery acquisition. This one's steamy, bring your wrinkled panties!
2023-05-171h 21
Behind the BastardsPart Two: Jack Welch Is Why You Got Laid OffRobert is joined again by Michael Swaim and Abe Epperson to continue to discuss Jack Welch. Cracked alums Michael Swaim and Abe Epperson are making a new movie and you can help! Papa Bear is based on the hilarious, poignant true story of when Swaim's Dad came out as a gay furry. Click here (https://seedandspark.com/fund/papa-bear) to learn more and score cool rewards like posters, special thanks credits, or even a trip to the premiere!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
2023-05-111h 33Behind the BastardsPart One: Jack Welch Is Why You Got Laid OffRobert is joined by Michael Swaim and Abe Epperson to discuss Hell's CEO, Jack Welch. (2 Part Series) Cracked alums Michael Swaim and Abe Epperson are making a new movie and you can help! Papa Bear is based on the hilarious, poignant true story of when Swaim's Dad came out as a gay furry. Click here (https://seedandspark.com/fund/papa-bear) to learn more and score cool rewards like posters, special thanks credits, or even a trip to the premiere!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
2023-05-091h 22
Authorized Novelizations PodcastThe Goonies by James Kahn (w/ Michael Swaim)Okay, we've got a crackerjack novelization on our hands this week. We invite Goonies superfan Michael Swaim on to discuss James Kahn's robust, liberty-taking novelization. There's more laughs, more adventure, and just in general MORE.
Check out Michael's podcast network Small Beans! : https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Subscribe to our Patreon!: patreon.com/authorizedpod
Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/authorizedpod
Instagram: instagram.com/authorizedpod
Follow us on letterboxd:
https://letterboxd.com/AOverbye/
https://letterboxd.com/hsblechman/
2023-04-132h 13
Small Beans571. Like Razorblade Pie: S.R.O. (Feat. Sarah Griffith)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story S.R.O. and the guest is Sarah Griffith.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Sarah Griffith: https://twitter.com/sk_griffith
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2023-03-041h 00Small Beans562. Like Razorblade Pie: On The Slab (Feat. Brooks Brown)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story On The Slab and the guest is Brooks Brown.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Brooks Brown: https://discord.com/invite/dgqc
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2023-02-011h 01
Small Beans553. Like Razorblade Pie: “Repent, Harlequin!” Said the Ticktockman (Feat. Alex Schmidt)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story “‘Repent, Harlequin!’ Said the Ticktockman and the guest is Alex Schmidt.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Alex Schmidt: https://twitter.com/AlexSchmidty
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2022-12-2957 minSmall Beans546. Like Razorblade Pie: Paladin of the Lost Hour (Feat. Griffin Rowell)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story “Paladin of the Lost Hour” and the guest is Griffin Rowell.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Griffin Rowell
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2022-11-291h 06Small Beans537. Like Razorblade Pie: Deathbird (Feat. Griffin Rowell)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story “Deathbird” and the guest is Griffin Rowell.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Griffin Rowell
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2022-11-0950 min
Small Beans539. Frame Rate - Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (Feat. Two Draculas)Michael Swaim and Abe Epperson have been turned into undead creatures of the night but that does not stop this spooktacular Halloween podcast on Hotel Transylvania 3.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/AbeTheMighty
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2022-10-3139 min
99 Questions99Q - Michael SwaimMichael Swaim (Small Beans, IGN, formerly Cracked) enters a world in which one can buy robot assassins out of vending machines - but in this case, the machine instead vends a ninety-nine question interview. Join Michael and I as we discuss what sparked his deep pop-culture IQ, what work he is most proud of, Boggle, comic book publishing cliffhangers, Futurama, bing bongs, & the difference between a scavenger hunt and a treasure hunt.
--ASK ME A QUESTION! The 99 Question Hotline!--
732-592-9838 (aka REAL-WAX-VET)
99questionspod@gmail.com
2022-10-091h 35Small Beans522. Like Razorblade Pie: I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream (Feat. George Heftler)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story “I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream” and the guest is George Heftler.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
George Heftler: https://twitter.com/littlehorrorphl
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2022-09-1345 minSmall Beans511. Frame Rate: Southland Tales (The Cannes Cut) (Feat. David Bell)A Pick the Flick episode of Frame Rate! This means one of our patrons, specifically Krischanovich, generously donated through the Pick the Flick tier and got to choose what we watched!
This episode covers the 2005 film by Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko): Southland Tales. A film with an outstanding cast, a lot of big ideas, and some really rough dialogue. The boys tackle what made this flop and more or less rip into it for 60 minutes. Sorry, Richard Kelly. Well, except for Swaim. Swaim’s not sorry.
Features:
David Bell: https://twitter.com/MovieHooligan
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Ab...
2022-08-091h 02
The Leetist(Ep 59) Sack Stuffers, 5 Sec Scramble w/ Michael Swaim @SWAIM_CORPMichael Swaim stops by to bestow upon us tales of making content for Cracked, IGN, and his current ventures with SmallBeans and the 1Upsmanship podcast! Oh, and of course to play GAMES about video games! Tim brings forth a sack full of trivia, and Ryan scrambles our brains with audio clues. (00:02:34) The News Game(00:17:26) Are You Smarter than a Leet Gamer(00:43:29) Getting to Know a Leet Gamer - Michael Swaim!(01:05:57) 5 Second Scramble(01:23:53) Flavor of the WeekFollow Michael Swaim on Twitter! @SWAIM_CORP And check out 1Upsmanship on your fa...
2022-08-031h 42Small Beans507. Like Razorblade Pie: The Man Who Rowed Christopher Columbus Ashore (Feat. Alebrelle)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story “The Man Who Rowed Christopher Columbus Ashore” and the guest is Alebrelle.
They discuss the moral complexities of intention, action, and outcome, the definition of free will, and the movie RIPD.
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Alebrelle: https://twitter.com/Alebrelle
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBea...
2022-07-261h 04Small Beans492. Like Razorblade Pie: The Silver Corridor (Feat. Bridgett Greenberg)This show goes over the short stories of Michael’s favorite speculative fiction author and notable curmudgeon Harlan Ellison. Each episode Michael pairs (read: forces a friend to read) a short story with a guest that it “applies especially to.” This episode it’s the short story “The Silver Corridor” (from Ellison Wonderland) and the guest is Bridgett Greenberg. They discuss the competitive spirit, it’s impact in other aspects of their lives, and how sometimes “cog feel bad.”
We apologize in advance for Michael’s audio. Apparently a tiny bean made its way into the microphone wire and wreaked havoc (tiny beans fe...
2022-06-0453 min
1Upsmanship1Upsmanship: PsychonautsChild Michael Swaim visits this episode of 1upsmanship and demands that his co-host plays his favorite game from his formative years. Adam, who wants everyone to know that he does not like Final Fantasy and “sparkly anime boys,” and while that has nothing to do with Psychonauts, would not play this game if left to his own devices. Will Adam break child Michael’s heart and hate this game or will the stars in Swaim’s eyes win over his cold heart? Or is Michael completely wrong and this game can be deleted from history? Listen to find out!See...
2022-06-011h 12
Least HauntedPolterbites: What Cryptid Fu@& Real Good? (featuring Michael Swaim)Do you find yourself strangely attracted to the strange and somewhat monstrous? Like, REALLY attracted? Do glowing eyes and and long claws just do it for you? Honestly, do you want to bang a cryptid? Sure, we ALL DO. But the real question is, which cryptid would make the best lover? We took a little time with Michael Swaim to discuss just What Cryptid Fu#& Real Good?
2022-05-2715 min
Least HauntedEpisode 55: Creepypasta Torte-Bean-Y (featuring Michael Swaim)This time we are joined by internet comedy and podcasting legend, Michael Swaim of Small Beans (patreon.com/smallbeans), to discuss the world of Creepypasta! What is it? How it get formed? What happens if you don't sleep for a long time? IS Demonic-Sonic coming to trap you in a Russian Sleep Experiment? Or is Squidward going to sacrifice himself to ward off a creepy bird lady? WHO IS PHONE?! Some of these questions might be answered!
2022-05-271h 07
The Valley TodayBlandy's 32nd Annual Garden Fair WeekendOur conversation today gave us details for Blandy's 32nd Annual Garden Fair Weekend. Joining the chat was Stephanie Swaim, Public Relations & Marketing Coordinator and Carrie Whitacre, Assistant Curator of Herbaceous Gardens both from the State Arboretum of Virginia at Blandy Experimental Farm. Blandy's Garden Fair happens every Mother's Day weekend and will be back at the Clarke County Fairgrounds for 2022. Stephanie told us the goal is to return to the Blandy grounds in 2023. The event will feature a tremendous selection of native plants, annuals, perennials, herbs, trees, shrubs, garden tools, decor, and related items. Carrie...
2022-05-0224 min
The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOGDogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 68, The Double Trouble Barbarian Game With Michael Swaim!We don't watch the classic 1992 Barbarian Brothers action movie, Double Trouble -- we play it! Brockway turned every Barbarian Brothers movie into an interactive quiz/improv game, so Seanbaby and special guest Michael Swaim take on the roles of the Barbarian Brothers to flex, lift, and no third thing their way out of Trouble! Whaaaa??? Make that Double!
2022-04-061h 30
Kurt VonneguysThe Writer's Crusade: Kurt Vonnegut and the Many Lives of Slaughterhouse-FiveAlex Schmidt and Michael Swaim, the original Kurt Vonneguys, are back to break down the new nonfiction book 'The Writer's Crusade: Kurt Vonnegut and the Many Lives of Slaughterhouse-Five'! If this isn't nice, what is?
The book is written by Tom Roston, and published by Abrams Books: https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/writers-crusade_9781419744891/
Vonneguys news: this is our last episode of this new run. Thank you all so much for re-forming this karass for another round of Vonne-joy.
Enjoy Michael's new show 'Like Razorblade Pie' at Small Beans: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
Enjoy Alex's show 'Secretly Incredibly Fascinating': https...
2022-03-221h 22The Best Little Horror House in PhillyAntichrist (2009) with Michael Swaim
This week: the shoe is on the other foot, because Kurt Vonneguy, Small Bean and Cracked alum Michael Swaim is here to discuss the 2009 movie Antichrist from provocation promiser Lars Von Trier!
We're talking about all the connections to Vonnegut, Herzog and Tarkovsky, we're talking about the terror of entropy, we're even talking about Willem Dafoe's giant schlong, and that's not all! Don't miss out!
Twitter: @LittleHorrorPHL
PLUS: Check out the BLHHiP Patreon to get bonus episodes and more!
2022-03-071h 33
The Simpsons IndexEp215 The 4th Vignettes Of Vignettes (Guests: Queens Of The Drone Age & Michael Swaim)For the 4th time, Elliot Jay O’Neill reviews the vignette episodes of The Simpsons, and changes the line up each time;
S.20 E.20 “Four Great Women And A Manicure”
(with Amanda Yeo, Angharad Yeo, Rae Johnston & Tegan Jones from Queens Of The Drone Age)
S.12 E.21 “Simpsons Tall Tales”
(with BT Calloway, Danny Rosewell & Michael Swaim)
Pulp Fury Radio; our fiction anthology podcast. Season 1 available now at www.pulpfuryradio.com (or wherever you get your podcasts)
Check out Queens Of The D...
2022-02-161h 38Kurt VonneguysKurt Vonnegut: Unstuck In TimeAlex Schmidt and Michael Swaim, the original Kurt Vonneguys, are back to break down the new documentary 'Kurt Vonnegut: Unstuck In Time'! If this isn't nice, what is?
The documentary is by co-directors Robert B. Weide and Don Argott. Here's its website and how to watch: https://www.vonnegutmovie.com/
Vonneguys news: we're still returning once more, in 2022, for an episode about 'The Writer's Crusade' by Tom Roston. Find out more about that book here: www.abramsbooks.com/product/writers…_9781419744891/
SEGMENTS:
Franken-Time (00:02:15)
Summary Time (00:26:00)
Highlight Reel (00:37:57)
Vonne-MEH (00:56:30)
The Meat (01:03:55)
Robert B. Weide-grades (01:17:15)
Related Reading (01:22:45)
Vonnegut News (01:35:07)
LINKS for Related Reading:
'L...
2022-02-081h 37
Small Beans447. Sad & Important - Short Stories and Poems by Michael SwaimWritten and read by Michael Swaim. Score by Davey Francis. Cover art by TokBlok and Von Doyle.
Table of Contents:
0:00 - Dedications
0:35 - The House With No One In It
37:00 - The Blessing
44:45 - Semper Fi
1:15:00 - Jacq & Gyll
1:29:50 - My Story Needs No Title
1:38:00 - The Queen, The Duke and Their Shadows
2:01:20 - The End
2:23:45 - Selected Poems
Check our store to buy Small Beans merch! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-small-beans-store?ref_id=22691
2022-01-022h 36
Stories Inside the Man CaveEpisode 106 with Greg SwaimSend us a textEpisode 106 with Greg Swaim of SWAIMVILLESwaim is a native of basketball hungry Indiana, living in Oklahoma.He was once a roommate of current Texas Men's Basketball head coach, Chris Beard at a camp for 3 nights.Swaim is a scouting nut with one primary motivation, finding opportunities for high school basketball talents to play college basketball.On the side, Swaim operates his own media platforms as well.He offered his take on the possibility that OU and Texas may not be leaving the...
2021-12-2356 min
Tales from the Pit442. Tales from the Pit: Life on High, a Sobriety Update (feat. Katie Willert)The pit is back! Well, the podcast. Honestly, it’s been a while because things have been fairly positive in the lives of Michael Swaim and Katie Willert. It’s not all roses, but the two update us (and hopefully fellow addicts out there) how things are going now that they’re sober. No real trigger warnings this time: they discuss their relationship with addiction, what they’re struggling with, and what they’re not struggling with. More or less, it’s a positive reinforcement that anyone can make a choice to be better tomorrow and we here at Small Beans highly...
2021-12-181h 03Small Beans442. Tales from the Pit: Life on High, a Sobriety Update (feat. Katie Willert)The pit is back! Well, the podcast. Honestly, it’s been a while because things have been fairly positive in the lives of Michael Swaim and Katie Willert. It’s not all roses, but the two update us (and hopefully fellow addicts out there) how things are going now that they’re sober. No real trigger warnings this time: they discuss their relationship with addiction, what they’re struggling with, and what they’re not struggling with. More or less, it’s a positive reinforcement that anyone can make a choice to be better tomorrow and we here at Small Beans highly...
2021-12-181h 03Kurt VonneguysSlaughterhouse-Five (graphic novel)Alex Schmidt and Michael Swaim, the original Kurt Vonneguys, are back to break down the new 'Slaughterhouse-Five' graphic novel! If this isn't nice, what is?
The graphic novel is by writer Ryan North and artist Albert Monteys. Publisher page: https://shop.boom-studios.com/collections/slaughterhouse-five
Also here's a link to a *VIDEO VERSION* of this podcast episode (it's the same audio, plus some photos of what we're talking about): https://youtu.be/5BghQzkY0iE
Vonneguys news: we're returning once more, in 2022, for a new episode about 'The Writer's Crusade' by Tom Roston. Find out more about that book here: https...
2021-11-111h 33
The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOGDogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 44: Hot Dog Nights... Batpussy, with Michael Swaim!Send your kids out of the room for this one. Make them take off their special Hot Dog Listening Hats, put aside their Hot Dog decoder rings, and wait for the sobbing to pass. It'll take hours. Then settle into your armchair with a nice hot cup of pussy for the first adults only episode of Hot Dog Nights! This time we're talking with Michael Swaim about the worst porno ever made: BatPussy!
2021-10-131h 18
Enterprising IndividualsSeason 6, Episode 13 "Bar Association" (DS9) with Michael SwaimGet ready to lose those chains as we unite with "Bar Association"!Writer, podcaster, and comedian Michael Swaim joins the show this week to discuss an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine that is looking to fill the dustbin of future history. When Rom collapses on the job, Quark refuses to give him or his coworkers sick leave or paid vacation time. When Rom and his fellow workers form a union, Quark will have to find a way to make a deal with his brother before he loses his reputation, his bar . . . and his life!...
2021-08-111h 11
You Can Tell Me Anything with Titi LeeCongratulations Michael Swaim! Part 4Congratulations Swaim! In the final part (4 of 4) with guest Michael Swaim, Teresa and Michael look back on a month of goals and achievements. Michael shares the plot twist of his bosses being under fire in the media, Teresa talks about shooting her short film, and more. Follow Michael at @swaimcorp and subscribe to his podcasts on Small Beans Network. Teresa is on IG at @teresaleebot.
2021-07-2839 min
You Can Tell Me Anything with Titi LeeCongratulations Michael Swaim! Part 3Congratulations Swaim! In Part 3 of 4 with guest Michael Swaim, Michael shares his goal of writing a standup set for his birthday and performing it live, Teresa discusses her "greenlight" of her own short film, and more. Follow Michael at @swaimcorp and subscribe to his podcasts on Small Beans Network. Teresa is on IG at @teresaleebot
2021-07-2123 min
You Can Tell Me Anything with Titi LeeCongratulations Michael Swaim! Part 2Congratulations Swaim! In Part 2 of 4 with guest Michael Swaim, we talk about how Michael taught himself to freestyle, how Teresa has been slowly adjusting after losing her job in February, and what their goals are for the coming weeks. Follow Michael at @swaimcorp and subscribe to his podcasts on Small Beans Network. Teresa is on IG at @teresaleebot
2021-07-1428 min
You Can Tell Me Anything with Titi LeeCongratulations Michael Swaim! Part 1Congratulations Swaim! It's a new guest for a 4 part series this month where Michael Swaim (Cracked, Small Beans) shares weekly updates with host Teresa Lee on his achievements this month. We talk about his new puppy, Teresa's album release, NFTs, and more. Follow Michael at @swaimcorp and subscribe to his podcasts on Small Beans Network. Teresa is on IG at @teresaleebot
2021-07-0741 min
Nasty LabsNasty Labs #4 w/Mark Holcomb & Michael SwaimMay the 4th Episode Be With You Chuhai Labs crime lords Kinsey Burke and Mark Lentz are back to talk about our newest release Carve Snowboarding! This Oculus Quest joint rips and rules and you should probably definitely get it. OUT NOW! To make an episode even better, we are joined by guests Michael Swaim and Mark Holcomb. These fools are TITANS of industry and both voice actors in Carve Snowboarding. Michael Swaim is an acclaimed comedy writer and performer and can be found on IGN's video team creating absolute nonsense. Mark Holcomb has voiced characters in...
2021-05-281h 33
Small Beans373. Star Trek: The Next Futurama - Space Pilot 3000Here’s the deal. Our very bean Michael Swaim and Gamefully Unemployed’s David Christopher Bell have decided to create a dream team. A supergroup. The Traveling Wilburys of podcasting. The Cream of audio. So get in here and listen to this audio cream!
The whole concept at play here is that Michael and Dave realized that every Futurama episode has a corresponding Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. In other words, whether it be basic plot devices or philosophical questions at the heart of the episode, these two shows trekked the same space (where I guess someone had gone befo...
2021-04-021h 22
Night Attack Low Quality Video FeedEpisode #367: Penultimate (w/ Michael Swaim)Justin tore his shit up and is weeks away from moving to Austin. The show is dying oops oops oops. Michael Swaim of SmallBeans joins us here to talk Carl Sagan camgirls, The Bible: Snyder Cut, and plays our first round of "News6" of 2021. Thank youuuu, HornyPrinciPal11!
2021-03-2500 min
You Can Tell Me Anything with Titi Lee(RERELEASE) Michael Swaim: I Have a Scar Jo Role(First released 9/5/18) Michael Swaim confesses something he's never told anyone - that in high school he played a Mexican character in a play in "brown face". We discuss appropriation, progress, and his growth. Teresa also reveals that she was in a children's theater edition of West Side Story where she was also asked to wear brown face. They also discuss why high school drama students are so horny and Michael talks about a questionable sexual experience. They play a game of Phobia Phobic.
2021-03-2457 min
Cult PoptureThe "Meet the Parents" Movies (ft. Michael Swaim) | Film Franchise FortnightsJoin our DISCORD►https://discord.gg/v64NGAGSupport us on PATREON► https://www.patreon.com/CultPoptureJoining us to discuss the MEET THE PARENTS trilogy (and it's lesser known precursor film) it's internet pop culture guy/Cult Popture's very own parent, Michael Swaim!Check out Michael Swaim ► https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeansCheck out our rankings on Letterboxd:Cult Popture► https://letterboxd.com/CultPopture/Richard► https://letterboxd.com/rmpm/AJ► https://letterboxd.com/alexodus/JOIN LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST PALS HERE►ht...
2021-03-162h 04
Small Beans361. Tales from the Pit: Just Two Divorced Guys (Feat. Cristian Ramirez)Two of the warmest hosts to bless this podcast network take a moment to reflect on some of their coldest days. Both Michael Swaim and Cristian Ramirez have gone through divorces. Cristian, the more recent single, tells Michael about the hardships and eventual self-betterment involved in his experience. Michael in-kind reflects on his own behavior and past circumstances that made him the man he is today. It’s just two divorced guys, everyone.
Features:
Cristian Ramirez: https://twitter.com/FanboyCristian
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
2021-02-251h 05Tales from the Pit361. Tales from the Pit: Just Two Divorced Guys (Feat. Cristian Ramirez)Two of the warmest hosts to bless this podcast network take a moment to reflect on some of their coldest days. Both Michael Swaim and Cristian Ramirez have gone through divorces. Cristian, the more recent single, tells Michael about the hardships and eventual self-betterment involved in his experience. Michael in-kind reflects on his own behavior and past circumstances that made him the man he is today. It’s just two divorced guys, everyone.
Features:
Cristian Ramirez: https://twitter.com/FanboyCristian
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
2021-02-251h 05
Small Beans352. NOSIDE - Short Stories & Poems By Michael SwaimWritten and read by Michael Swaim. Score by Davey Francis.
Table of Contents:
0:00 - Introduction & Acknowledgements
2:00 - The Show Must Go On...
25:30 - ...And It Goes Like This (A Fable)
1:04:10 - Dear Jane
1:39:30 - Cosmosis
2:05:40 - Cost Of Living
2:50:40 - Serenity Prayer
3:13:40 - Selected Poems
2021-01-133h 21
Bleak In ReviewQUARANTINE QUICKIE #40: Stuckolding (w/ Michael Swaim)Kevin greets all Bleaklings with a mercifully brief intro in which he almost talks about nothing this week! Then, comedy-person Michael Swaim (@SWAIM_CORP) returns to the show to chat with Kevin about drive-in strip clubs, adjusting career expectations in 2020, and the troubling state of online discourse. This episode is brought to you by Mantooth & Clan, D.D.S., a classic bit of spon-con from Ian Ager (@IanAger)!
Check out Michael's feature length film "Kill Me Now" for free on the internet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDOAXdXAx6g
Also why not go take...
2020-10-161h 02
Kicking and Screaming PodcastEraserhead and Lone Wolf and Cub w/ guest Michael SwaimIn this landmark episode, Vanessa and Elijah are joined by their first-ever special guest! It's also the first episode that opens with an actual scream.
Special guest Michael Swaim challenges our hosts to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the surreal masterpiece of horror, Eraserhead. When they counter with the surreal masterpiece of martial arts, Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx, Michael contests that the films have nothing to do with each other!
Can our hosts convince him, or have they failed at their mission by episode 3? Is Eraserhead even...
2020-10-021h 02
Small Beans310. Frame Rate: The House of YesA new Frame Rate logo! Holy wow! Michael Vincent Bramley, our very own MVB has updated our logo and we think it’s the beans!
This Parker Posey vehicle was widely unseen by everyone. Let’s let Abe and Michael determine if that was a shame. In any case, it’s available for streaming and is the only incestuous Jackie O drama/thriller that came out in 1997. Even if you don’t listen, if you like Parker Posey and have never heard of this film, go check it out. She’s fantastic.
Everyone thank Zac Schwartz and Vera for generously donating t...
2020-08-141h 03
Small Beans302. Directorpiece Theater: Doctor Strange, The Spiderverse, & White Supremacy (Feat. Michael Swaim)Michael Swaim stops by with a possible interpretation of Marvel’s Doctor Strange, a film with early publicity regarding the whitewashing of Asian roles in the film. As Michael points out that Stephen Strange's and the Sorcerer Supreme's initials are SS, Strange uses a whip, he’s against the progress of time, and his main enemy is called “The Dark One.” Oh, dear. Oh, shucks. This is looking real bad, real fast.
Features:
Michael Swaim: https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Adam Ganser: https://twitter.com/therealganz
Abe Epperson: https://twitter.com/AbeTheMighty
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patr...
2020-07-291h 34
The Simpsons IndexEp170 The 8th Treehouse Of Horror-thon! VI, XIII & XXX (Guests: Michael Swaim, BT & Jordan)Happy Mayoween!
Elliot Jay O’Neill is joined by Michael Swaim, BT Calloway & Jordan Frost to review;
S.7 E.6 “Treehouse Of Horror VI”
S.14 E.1 “Treehouse Of Horror XIII”
S.31 E.4 “Treehouse Of Horror XXX”
Check out more of Michael Swaim at Small Beans wherever you get your podcasts or also here as well;
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN0Vm92-mDeMFHX3QficymQ
This is a Side Quest Studios Production
We are a listener supported show. Sign up to our P...
2020-05-261h 45
My Gorgeous SonAn Italian Director Helps AndyThe Italian filmmaker who hired Everardo to punch-up his scripts celebrates Mother’s Day with the guys.
STARRING:
Andrew Bush – https://twitter.com/andycbush
Mark Little – https://twitter.com/markmarklittle
Everardo Ramirez – https://twitter.com/EverardoRamirez
SPECIAL GUEST:
Michael Swaim – https://twitter.com/SWAIM_CORP
Brought to you By: The Sonar Network
2020-05-1848 min
Small Beans270. Rough Stuff: The Erotic Awakening of Swaim (Feat. Michael Swaim)Michael Swaim looked in the mirror for 7 hours, called Sarah and Bridgett and demanded a second appearance on Rough Stuff. This episode is wild guys. You might want to lock your door, get real alone and real comfortable because it's about to get weirdly sexual in your immediate space. Come on the journey of demystifying why theater kids are so horny and stay for the lickin' eyeballs story. Also, apparently in Swaim's home town, everyone fingered a drainpipe? I'm not quite sure what the point of that story was.
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com...
2020-03-2754 min
Small BeansBean Town, A 23 Minute Radio PlayThe Mayor of Bean Town has just been informed that deadly Earth-orbiting aliens will destroy Bean Town and less importantly the world in mere minutes. Luckily, Bean Town Cop Frank Wade is on the case. Hopefully, he'll have enough time and our elected officials can solve whatever is happening with our communications systems. We seem to be getting a whole lot of interference. Oh, well! To the salvation of Bean Town!
Written by Michael Swaim, Abe Epperson, and Greg Burke
---- Bean Town Cast List ----
Old Sheldon Narrator - Greg Burke
Old Sheldon - Michael Swaim
Delivery Man...
2020-03-1823 min
The Simpsons IndexEp144 Lisa The Greek, They Saved Lisa’s Brain & YOLO (Guests: Michael Swaim, BT & Danny)Elliot Jay O’Neill is joined by BT Calloway, Danny Rosewell and special guest Michael Swaim to review;
S.3 E.14 “Lisa The Greek”
S.10 E.22 “They Saved Lisa’s Brain”
S.25 E.4 “YOLO”
Check out Small Beans at https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
This is a Side Quest Studios Production
We are a listener supported show. Sign up to our Patreon page and you’ll unlock a bonus podcast EVERY WEEK plus gain access to our back catalogue of over 100 exclusive podcasts!
http://www.patreon.c...
2019-10-182h 02Bleak In Review199: Wiccan Accomplished (w/ Cody Johnston & Michael Swaim)Bleak in Review invites you to celebrate the end of Witching Month with a hot new episode! Matt and Kevin talk about confusing calendars and breaking into venues. Then, comedy folk Cody Johnston (Some More News) and Michael Swaim (Small Beans) join the show to chat with the fellas about Sharon Tate's ghost, wacky conspiracy theories, and the newfound movement of #FlatMars. Plus, some kind of Dracula stops by the studio to sing some classic songs and lament his need for a witch coven!
2019-08-301h 22
Small Beans210. Waveformed: Michael SwaimCristian Ramirez gets to know Michael Swaim better by exploring a playlist of ten songs that have impacted his life.
Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1zoxu6HzTrMlsupV8AUem8?si=Df3Diem7QxSX0GCgZmVfiw
Support Small Beans and access Additional Content: https://www.patreon.com/SmallBeans
SB Merch: https://smallbeans.bigcartel.com
Theme by Chris Corlew.
Art by Michael Vincent Bramley.
2019-07-251h 14
You Don't Even Like This ShowProhibition Wasn't That Bad (w/Michael Swaim, Alex Schmidt, Anna Valenzuela)Adam welcomes comedians Alex Schmidt, Anna Valenzuela, and Michael Swaim to talk about the West Coast Burger Wars, acceptable uses of cheese, abolition of federal holidays, the upside of alcohol prohibition in America, and more!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
2019-07-011h 12
M.I. Stuff PodcastSunset Grill #5 "The Michael Swaim Effect"In this throwback episode of Sunset Grill, Michael Swaim joins the SG crew to talk about the Mandela Effect. Listen for more details. Enjoy, Folks!
2019-03-3139 min
At Least There's ThisThe Coen Brothers! With Abe Epperson and co-host Michael SwaimOn this weeks episode Micheal Swaim and Abe Epperson of the Small Beans network join me to make some sweet sweet meaning all over the Coen Brothers.
---
This episode is sponsored by
· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/atleastpod/support
2018-10-231h 07You Don't Even Like This ShowHow Trump Has Changed Horror Movies (w/Michael Swaim and Dave Waite)Adam welcomes special guests Michael Swaim and Dave Waite to talk about how the Trump presidency has impacted the horror movie industry.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
2018-10-0249 min
You Can Tell Me Anything with Titi LeeEpisode 20: Michael Swaim: "I Have A Scar Jo Role"Michael Swaim confesses something he's never told anyone - in high school he played a Mexican character in a play in "brown face". We discuss appropriation, progress, and his growth. They play a game of Phobia Phobic.
Michael Swaim is the co-creator of Small Beans Podcast Network and a former staff writer and performer at Cracked. He is known for his role in the Webby Award winning After Hours and his many internet writings and musings. Follow him at @SWAIM_CORP and listen to his podcast Small Beans!
2018-09-0555 min
Bleak In Review147: Squeezin' Ooze & Takin' Names (w/ Michael Swaim)Welcome back to another swell Bleak in Review! Matt and Kevin kick this episode off with a rousing discussion about shorts on stage and monsters in comedy. Then, comedian and podcast personality Michael Swaim joins the show to chat with the boys about his manly man's bachelor party, various toe problems, and fond remembrances of the Anarchist's Cookbook. Plus, a top secret operative from the Deep Dish State (code name: YAnon) bursts in and helps fill some time by telling Matt and Kevin all about life in international waters and his neverending hunt for shapeshifting sex criminals!
2018-08-311h 28
Best Bad Movie Ever PodcastWild Wild West (w/Michael Swaim)Michael Swaim takes the defendant's chair to stick up for the pre-Willennium Will Smith western Wild Wild West
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
2018-08-1458 min
You Don't Even Like This ShowWelcome to New California (w/Michael Swaim and Brett Rader)Adam and Brett welcome Small Beans Podcast Network founder Michael Swaim to talk about the most recent efforts break the great state of California into two states, one probably less great than the other.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
2018-03-2058 min