Shows
Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 42 - Julianne Moore in Dear Evan HansenHenry took a break from raising a human person to visit with our old friend and friend of the pod, Alex Gellner! Two thirds of us actually watched the movie, and the other third gets to try to figure out what it's about. Maybe they shouldn't cast elderly men as teen boys from now on.2022-10-121h 22
Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 41 - Jolly Old Saint Nicolas Cage: Vampire's KissReunited and it feels so gooooood! For the first time since starting the 'cast, we are in the same room! And what better way to celebrate than with year 2 of our Jolly Old Saint Nick tradition. We highly recommend you join us in watching the 1988 cult classic Vampire's Kiss. Our holiday gift to you.2021-12-171h 17Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 40 - Christopher Plummer in The ForgerDistinguished actor Christopher Plummer costars with John Travolta's Very Interesting Hair™ in this dumb movie. 2021-11-281h 05Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 39 - Angelina Jolie in Original SinWell I'll tell you one thing right now, this one *definitely* usurps Cool World for the horniest movie prize. Also apparently pudding is something that can be broken, like glass?! 2021-11-111h 08Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 38 - Kevin Kline in Consenting AdultsThis absolutely baffling movie does everything wrong, but we'll give it this: it NEVER takes its foot off the gas. It's bad and gross and we laughed so hard talking about it.2021-10-281h 14Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 37 - Anne Hathaway in The Last Thing He Wanted5% on Rotten Tomatoes? Had to. Not a full-blown atrocity, but it IS the lowest-rated film on Netflix!2021-10-131h 02Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 36 - Al Pacino in 88 Minutes88 minutes, 6 red herrings, and a partridge in a pear tree. This was a fun one. My apologies to Francis Ford Coppola.2021-09-301h 29Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 35 - Jessica Lange in HushWant to learn about horse breeding in an extremely roundabout way? Hush has you covered. Lange serves up endless deranged giggles in this thriller flop.2021-09-151h 23Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 34 - Jeremy Irons in Dungeons & DragonsDungeons, dragons, and a deeply troubling quote from actor Jeremy Irons.2021-09-0158 minScreen Actors GuiltEpisode 33 - Jennifer Connelly in Winter's TaleThis one is our favorite! It's so bad, we had so much fun. We ran long because there's a lotta meat on them bones.2021-08-181h 44Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 32 - Rami Malek in DolittleThis one's a little late, but maybe the fact that Michelle inexplicably watched the movie *twice* in 24 hours will make up for that? 2021-08-071h 21Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 31 - Gwyneth Paltrow in View From the TopThe tone of this movie is the color beige come to life. How did they stack the cast like this?2021-07-211h 09Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 30 - Marlon Brando in The Island of Dr. MoreauThis movie? The grossest. The behind-the-scenes trivia, though? Unbelievable. 2021-07-011h 28Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 29 - Reese Witherspoon in S.F.W.This movie might be v. dumb (and also somehow sticky?) BUT it's a pleasant palate cleanser after Shadowboxer. This is our second Steven Dorff flick in two weeks and MAN did that guy need to fire his agent. 2021-06-171h 27Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 28 - Cuba Gooding Jr. in ShadowboxerWe did it, we found the worst movie! The first half is laughably batshit. The second half contains the most shocking scene in any movie either of us can recall.2021-06-031h 38Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 27 - Kate Winslet in Collateral BeautyIs this the most pretentious movie ever or the dumbest? Well folks, it's both. If there is such thing as a "depressing romp" this movie is exactly that.2021-05-191h 19Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 26 - Anthony Hopkins in MisconductIt's our one year pod-iversary! We cannot for the life of us figure out how Anthony Hopkins agreed to be in this baffling low budget movie. If you can explain the plot of this movie to us you win $10. 2021-05-051h 36Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 25 - Whoopi Goldberg in Theodore RexIt's Michelle's birthday, so as a special gift to herself she picked this $35 mil straight-to-video monstrosity. Enjoy the podcast but for God's sake, don't watch the movie.2021-04-211h 18Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 24 - Forest Whitaker in Battlefield EarthHollywood didn't like this movie but we sure as hell did! Two thumbs way up for this adventurous romp that we would describe as both FUN and CUTE.2021-04-071h 17Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 23 - Cher in BurlesqueThis week we are joined by special guest and old friend Alex Gellner to talk lights, glamour, and the shifting time-space continuum that is Burlesque. This movie was real bad, but we think we figured out how to save it.2021-03-241h 37Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 22 - Hilary Swank in The ReapingWhen you've won two Oscars and your career is soaring, there's only one thing to do: make a high-budget flop about the 10 Biblical plagues. Spoiler: this movie was the 11th, just below head lice.2021-03-101h 22Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 21 - Ben Affleck in GigliThree, count 'em, THREE Oscar-winning actors in this movie. So obviously just an all-out quality movie film.2021-02-241h 42Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 20 - Penelope Cruz in Heart in the CloudsHenry's on day two of a punishing liquid diet and feeling a little loopy, but not loopy enough for this to pass for a good movie. Warm up a cup of broth and join us for a little discussion about P-Cruz and how good muffins smell.2021-02-101h 15Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 19 - Tim Robbins in Howard the DuckGeorge Lucas's '86 box office bomb really pushes the limits of a PG rating, and the limits of interspecies intimacy. 2021-01-261h 21Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 18 - Jennifer Lawrence in SerenaWhile this was a very bad watch, you know what WASN'T boring? The IMDB keywords for this movie. 100% worth the price of admission.2021-01-131h 09Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 17: Jolly Old Saint Nicolas (Cage) Part 3: DeadfallWhat better way to end the year than with the MOST unhinged Cage performance either of us has ever seen. Guys, that's saying something. 2020-12-311h 21Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 16: Jolly Old Saint Nicolas (Cage) Part 2: Face/OffYou can't talk about Ol' Saint Nick without covering at least one of his bangers. Face/Off is the best type of insanity and we had a peach of a time discussing this week's watch. 2020-12-151h 30Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 15: Jolly Old Saint Nicolas (Cage) Part 1: Grand IsleAs a special holiday treat, for the whole month of December we will be honoring the work of the man, the myth, the legend: Nicolas Cage. Kicking off with a 2019 thriller that’s hot out of the oven, but still half-baked.
Stay tuned for part 2 of our 3 part series on Dec 15.2020-12-031h 10Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 14 - Jon Voight in Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2This one's got it all: talking babies, Nazis, an old man in the body of a seven-year-old, and holograms that can pick up and hold a human child! 2020-11-181h 22Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 13 - Adrien Brody in High SchoolSo two important things...first, Henry discovered the hilarious "parents guide" feature on IMDB. Second...a cat sound effect made its way into the podcast somehow, and it’s way too funny to remove. That’s your Easter egg, enjoy!2020-10-201h 09Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 12 - Dame Judi Dench in CatsMeee-OW, what a watch! This nightmarish CGI frenzy disrespects not one, but two knights of Her Majesty's court. What is a Jellicle cat? Why do these cats have human hands and lips? Join us won't you, for one cat-astrophic episode.2020-10-061h 06Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 11: George Burns in Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club BandNot only does this movie not feature a single Beatle, it also made us have a meltdown. 2020-09-221h 16Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 10 - Kim Basinger in Cool WorldAn unacceptably horny film.2020-09-081h 04Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 09 - Jamie Foxx in StealthIt's 'SPLOSION TIME! If you're watching along at home, try to count the explosions and the number of times Jamie Foxx wears wraparound sunglasses indoors. This movie is about an evil robot airplane. Please enjoy, we definitely did.2020-08-2857 minScreen Actors GuiltEpisode 08 - Sandra Bullock in All About SteveThe vote was split on this one. Henry has a real rough watch and Michelle enjoys herself way too much despite the fact that this movie is a chemical fire of crazy decisions. This particular strain of film definitely isn't high enough in THC...Thomas Hayden Church that is. 2020-08-121h 11Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 07 - Michael Caine in The SwarmBees, bees, millions of BEES! If you love helicopter crashes and watching people get murdered by bees, have we got a movie for you. Henry and Michelle are introduced to a new horror movie convention: the scream-moan. Scroan? Please enjoy.2020-07-301h 05Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 06 - Diane Keaton in Look Who's Talking NowDiane Keaton delivers an Oscar-worthy performance as a french poodle in the third installment of the Look Who's Talking franchise. Actually, she's barely in the movie...woops? Still, we had a pretty decent time unpacking this 90s dud and discovering toddler Euro-pop sensation JORDY!2020-07-151h 06Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 05 - Jared Leto in HighwayJared Leto, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Selma Blair star in this 90s road trip flick. All that A-list eye candy can't save it from being the grimiest movie either of us have watched, possibly ever.2020-07-011h 00Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 04 - Halle Berry in CatwomanWell, one thing is for sure, they definitely didn't skimp on the "cat" element of Catwoman. Come for the catnip and tuna, stay for the inexplicable one-on-one basketball scene. Hold on to your hats, folks.2020-06-1659 minScreen Actors GuiltEpisode 03 - Sean Connery in Highlander 2: The QuickeningGuys, we gotta come clean. Neither of us has seen Highlander. But you can be DAMN sure we've seen Highlander 2, and spoiler: it's pure glory. This ep is long because wonderful things are worthy of our time.2020-06-051h 21Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 02 - Charlize Theron in The Astronaut's WifeRosemary's ET Baby, anyone? If you're watching along at home, see if you can spot the differences between Charlize and Johnny's hair! (Spoiler: there aren't any) The wave frequencies from this podcast aren't deadly...wish we could say the same for all the goddamn old-timey radios in this movie.2020-05-191h 22Screen Actors GuiltEpisode 01 - Matthew McConaughey in Surfer, DudeEver seen a movie with 0% on Rotten Tomatoes? Neither had we. Sink your toes into the sand and join us for one gnarly watch.2020-05-051h 03