Shows
Blended Family Breakthrough225. Gratitude Superpower: How to Boost Hope and Connection Through Challenging SeasonsYou want this season to feel special for your blended family. But instead of joy, you’re feeling grumpy, anxious, or even a little hopeless. Schedule changes, empty chairs at the table, tension with an ex, and slow bonding in step-relationships can make gratitude feel out of reach. Deep down you might be wondering, “How am I supposed to be thankful when life really hurts?”In this episode, we'll sit with you in that question. And we'll introduce three simple “gratitude lenses” that will help you focus on what’s good without denying what’s hard. Through hones...
2025-11-2542 minBlended Family Breakthrough223. The Emotion Coaching Playbook: Handling Pushback and Building Trust (Part 2)You’re the parent, or stepparent, who wants less conflict and more connection. But a child’s resistance, sarcasm, isolation, or hurtful words, such as: “you’re not my dad,” can derail plans and result in hurtful interactions. We’ve been there.In part 2 of this mini-series, you'll discover how to respond well in tough moments of pushback by using John Gottman’s 5 steps of Emotion Coaching. You’ll hear us role-play around real-life pushback when a child is competing for a parent's love, making accusations and threats, and behaving oppositionally toward a stepparent.We'll offer a b...
2025-11-0446 minBlended Family Breakthrough219. From Chaos to Clarity: A Proven Strategy for Leading Your Blended FamilyOver our 24 years of blending, we’ve discovered that every couple needs a clear strategy to get unstuck and move toward the family future they really want. In this conversation, we share a proven approach to aligning around your family's goals, creating a values-based parenting approach, and avoiding the common pitfalls that lead to chaos, resentment, and division. We know how confusing and lonely blended family life can feel at times—it's complicated! Even with millions of stepfamilies across the country, it can still feel like you’re on an island trying to figure it all out alone. ...
2025-09-1631 minBlended Family Breakthrough214. Does Permissive Parenting Help or Hurt? Discover How to Know and GrowIn this episode, we're getting real about something that so many blended family parents struggle with: permissive parenting driven by guilt, fear, or insecurity.Kim opens up about her personal journey as a single mom, how her guilt and fear led her to parent from a place of pity, and how that impacted her daughter, Annika. We’re also diving into the difference between pity and empathy and how embracing authoritative parenting—rooted in love and limits—can shift everything for your family. Whether you're a parent stuck in emotional reactivity or a steppare...
2025-07-0835 minBlended Family Breakthrough212. 3 Negotiation Strategies to Increase Collaboration and Influence in your Co-Parenting RelationshipIn this episode, we’re tackling one of the most emotionally charged challenges for blended families: navigating co-parenting dynamics and negotiating with an ex-spouse. Whether things are civil or you’re experiencing high levels of tension, we share the three strategies that have changed everything for us and for the couples we coach — Clarity, Communication, and Consistency.We'll share what’s worked (and what hasn’t), including stories from our co-parenting journey. You’ll hear how Kim learned to lead with respect, even when she felt disrespected, and how we helped one couple shift from chaos to calm...
2025-06-1027 minBlended Family Breakthrough211. 8 Warning Signs Your Ex is Manipulating Your Child's Heart and MindWe know how heartbreaking it can be when your child starts pulling away from you. It can leave you wondering if your ex is negatively influencing them behind the scenes. We’ve lived it. In this deeply personal episode, we open up about the painful season we went through with Kim’s daughter, Annika. We talk through how to recognize the signs of manipulation, avoid common parenting missteps, and respond in ways that protect your child’s emotional well-being. All while preserving your connection. Plus, we share the powerful strategy we call “the pebble in the shoe” an...
2025-05-2740 minBlended Family Breakthrough210. Is Your Child Pulling Away? Here's How to Respond with Wisdom and LoveThis one hits close to home for us. In this episode, we’re opening up about a painful season in our parenting journey when Kim’s daughter began pulling away from our home and requesting to spend more time at her dad’s. We know how confusing, heartbreaking, and disorienting this can be, especially for blended families with limited time together. That’s why we’re sharing 3 essential tips that can help you manage yourself in a tough parenting moment, retain connection with your child, and respond in a healthy, constructive way. You’re not alone—and there...
2025-05-1345 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: A Positive Approach to Building TrustResourcesEpisode 129. What does it take to build and maintain trust in your relationship?Episode 119. 6 Tips to Grow Empathy and Create More Connection in Your MarriageEpisode 203. How to Make Better Decisions and Solve Problems as a United TeamEpisode 108. 3 Unity Breakers that are Detrimental to Your Connection and How You Can Avoid ThemEpisode 206. Avoid These 5 Common Pitfalls to Ensure a Successful PartnershipEpisode 192. A Simple Process to Navigate Sensitive Conversations About Each Other's KidsEpisode 154. What practical and emotional shifts can...
2025-05-0606 minBlended Family Breakthrough209. Breaking Free from Self-Doubt: 5 Habits to Build Confidence and Trust in YourselfIf you've ever wrestled with second-guessing yourself, feeling stuck in past mistakes, or wondering if you can truly trust yourself again, you're not alone. In this episode, we open up about the very real struggles with self-doubt that we’ve faced personally and that we often see in the blended couples we coach.Together, we're exploring five powerful habits that can help you break free from the cycle of self-doubt and start building real, lasting confidence. We’ll share practical mindset shifts and simple steps you can take today to start building more self-trust. We h...
2025-04-2934 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Building Respect with TeensAdditional ResourcesEpisode 178. Suriving the Turbulent Teen Years: Expert Insight and Strategies for Today's Parent [with Dr. Michael Bradley]Episode 124. How to Effectively Parent Through Each Stage of Development - and Reduce Painful Interactions (Part 1)Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need...
2025-04-2209 minBlended Family Breakthrough208. The Transfer of Power: A Smart Strategy for Stepparents Left in ChargeIn this episode, we share a practical and powerful strategy to help step-parents confidently navigate solo time with their stepchildren. Whether you're a biological parent or a step-parent, this episode is for you! You'll discover how preparation, communication, and teamwork can transform tension into opportunities for connection. The key? A simple but often overlooked strategy called the Transfer of Power. You don't want to 'wing it' when flying solo with step-kids — instead, be smart and plan for success.You'll Discover:Why solo time can trigger anxiety, fear, or dread for step...
2025-04-1532 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Helping Kids Navigate ChangeSuggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://w...
2025-04-0808 minBlended Family Breakthrough207. 4 Big Myths About Parenting When an Ex Has Different Rules and How to Build ConsistencyParenting in a blended family can be tough — especially when your ex has completely different rules and expectations. Today, we're tackling a common source of frustration: navigating household differences. We'll uncover the four biggest myths that keep blended couples stuck and reveal the counteractive truths that bring clarity, confidence, and collaboration. Plus, we’ll share our Four A’s strategy for communicating with your ex to build more consistency between homes.You'll Discover:The four myths about parenting across different households—and what you can do to move beyond delu...
2025-04-0146 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Co-Parenting PitfallsResourcesEpisode 135. How to Set Appropriate Boundaries and Negotiate Well with your Ex-SpouseEpisode 188. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and DistressEpisode 153. How to Empower Organization, Improve Communication and Create Peace Between Your Kids Two HomesEpisode 112. 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt the KidsEpisode 113. How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued, or Dismissed by Your Former SpouseEpisode 67. The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already KnowEpisode 31. Unexpected Ways to Improve How You Cope w...
2025-03-2505 minBlended Family Breakthrough206. Avoid These 5 Common Pitfalls to Ensure a Successful PartnershipDoes it ever feel like you are miles apart as a couple when it comes to leading your blended family?In this episode, we dive into the most common partnership pitfalls that couples face. From feeling unheard and untrusted to navigating misaligned parenting expectations, we unpack the challenges that often create disconnection, stress and conflict. We also share practical tools to shift from frustration to deeper connection, trust, and teamwork.You'll Discover:How assumptions about each other's motives can fuel conflictThe impact of feeling unheard or untrusted in a blended family dynamicPractical...
2025-03-1841 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Effective ConsequencesResourcesEpisode 74. How to Develop Appropriate and Effective Consequences that Empower ResponsibilitySuggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we migh...
2025-03-1108 minBlended Family Breakthrough205. 4 Facets of Parenting: What Bio Parents Need to Know to Achieve Best Outcomes (Part 2)We know firsthand that parenting in a blended family isn’t the same as parenting in a first family. A biological parent's role is crucial in helping kids adjust to change, supporting step-relationships, and keeping things running smoothly.But here’s the challenge—many bio parents either hold too tightly to their old parenting patterns or step back too quickly and expect their spouse to fill in. Both can create major tension.In this episode, we’re breaking down the four key facets of parenting and defining the roles and responsibilities of the bio-parent: Meeting p...
2025-03-0439 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: A Stepparent's Role in Creating EnjoymentResourcesEpisode 136. How to Intentionally Create Positive Family Time and Reduce Relational TensionEpisode 149. How to "Blend" Holiday Traditions and Create Meaningful Connection This SeasonEpisode 85. How to Uniquely Build More Love and Connection in Your Blended Family [with Ron Deal]Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some...
2025-02-2507 minBlended Family Breakthrough204. 4 Facets of Stepparenting: Defining Appropriate Roles and Responsibilities (Part 1)Stepparenting raises many questions: What’s my role? How involved should I be? What if my stepkids don’t accept me? It’s easy to make wrong turns without even realizing it.In this episode, we’re delving into four key facets of parenting: meeting practical needs, providing support, teaching life lessons, and delivering discipline. We'll uncover the unique roles and responsibilities of a stepparent regarding each facet and define what's appropriate and inappropriate.If you’re feeling frustrated, disconnected, or unsure how to navigate parenting in your blended family, this conversation is for you!
2025-02-1838 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Managing TensionSuggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://w...
2025-02-1105 min
Design Her Travel: Tips & Inspiring Stories for Women and Solo TravelersWhy Couples Who Travel Together Stay Together - The Relationship Benefits of Travel | TRAVEL TALK #149Did you know a vacation could be the secret to a happier, stronger relationship?In this week’s Travel Talk episode, you’ll discover why hitting the road with your partner might be the best thing you can do for your relationship. Inspired by host Kim Anderson's recent conversation with Mike and Anne Howard (Episode #146)—the couple on the world’s longest honeymoon—you’ll hear how travel brings couples closer, builds trust, and even reignites romance.From unexpected adventures to those little moments that turn into lifelong inside jokes, you’ll learn why ex...
2025-02-0616 minBlended Family Breakthrough203. How to Make Better Decisions and Solve Problems as a United Team In this episode, we’re delving into a common challenge for blended family couples: decision-making and problem-solving. Whether managing kids’ expectations, negotiating with an ex, or facing the pain of being a “trapped teammate” or “stranded stranger,” disagreement and differing perspectives can create tension and keep you stuck.We’ve been there ourselves, and we share relatable stories, including a meltdown at the mall over a swimsuit and how it almost derailed our unity. Plus, we unpack practical strategies that have been game-changers for us and the couples we coach. We believe every blended couple needs a strategy...
2025-02-041h 02Design Her Travel: Tips & Inspiring Stories for Women and Solo TravelersThe Secrets Behind the World's Longest Honeymoon: Lessons in Travel and Love w/ HoneyTrek Creators Mike & Anne Howard #148What would it be like to turn your honeymoon into the world’s longest adventure?In this exciting episode, host Kim Anderson chats with Mike and Anne Howard, the travel pioneers behind HoneyTrek.com and the world’s longest honeymoon. Since 2012, they’ve been traveling full-time, exploring seven continents and over 80 countries, while inspiring others to embrace adventure and sustainable travel.Discover how they left corporate life to build a lifestyle of love, exploration, and connection, the secrets to traveling the globe on a budget, and how they turned their passion for storytelling into a...
2025-02-0449 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: The Pitfalls of Perspective PushingResourcesEpisode 202. How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron & Nan Deal]Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free...
2025-01-2806 minBlended Family Breakthrough202. How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron & Nan Deal]No one enjoys being in conflict with their spouse. But the reality for every couple is that conflict is unavoidable.We all experience disagreement that leads to conflict. But there's a big difference between doing conflict well versus spiraling into unproductive patterns where we say and do things that at best aren't helpful and at worst erode love and trust in our relationship.You can probably relate. Your spouse does something that triggers a painful emotion and you react. You might blame, shame yourself, take control, or try to avoid the whole situation. It's natural and no...
2025-01-211h 16Blended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Redefining Simple FunResourcesEpisode 139: The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple ExperiencesSuggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might he...
2025-01-1404 minBlended Family Breakthrough201. Step Up Enjoyment and Safeguard Your Relationship by Taking FUN Seriously [w/Rich & Christa Clark]How serious are you about creating enjoyment and fun in your relationship (and in your home)?You probably started off your relationship experiencing lots of enjoyment as you were getting to know each other and falling in love. But as the busyness and stress of blended family life set in, maybe your enjoyment started to wane a bit. The truth is, if you want to increase enjoyment and safeguard your relationship, then you've got to take FUN seriously!Our friends Rich and Christa blended their family 13 years ago. Although they've had their share of...
2025-01-071h 16Blended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Holiday AnnouncementResourcesEpisode 151. What has the potential to steal your joy and how can you hold onto it? (Part 1 of 2)Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free c...
2024-12-2402 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Relational GrowthResourcesEpisode 200. A Heart-to-Heart Conversation Exploring the Secrets to Lasting LoveEpisode 165. How important is your mindset when it comes to blended family life?Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. ...
2024-12-1708 minBlended Family Breakthrough200. A Heart-to-Heart Conversation Exploring the Secrets to Lasting LoveCan you believe it? We’ve made it to our 200th episode! 🎉 We’re so thankful for your support and excited to celebrate with a heart-to-heart conversation. Today, we’re diving into the topic of marriage wellness and how generosity can create a foundation for lasting love. Throughout our candid conversation, we openly assess our marriage and identify areas where we can grow and improve.Inspired by The Go-Giver Marriage by John and Ana Mann, we explore what it means to be intentional in your relationship. We'll uncover the secrets to lasting love and share personal st...
2024-12-101h 11Blended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Helping Kids Solve Social ProblemsResourcesArticle by Big Life Journey: 7 Effective Ways to Help Children Overcome Social AnxietyEpisode 136. How to Intentionally Create Positive Family Time and Reduce Relational TensionSuggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to...
2024-12-0307 minBlended Family Breakthrough199. 6 Simple Ways to Help Your Kids Build Social Confidence and ConnectionIn this episode, we’re diving into a topic that hits close to home for every parent—social wellness for kids and step-kids. If you’ve ever felt unsure about how to guide your children through the ups and downs of friendships, bullying, or personal boundaries, you’re not alone. We’ve been there, too, and we’re sharing some of our own experiences—both the wins and the missteps—as we supported our kids’ social growth. This is the third episode in our wellness series, and today we’re focusing on the social skills that help kids thrive...
2024-11-2634 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Creating Healthy Sleep HabitsResources:Episode 198. How do sleep habits impact the health and wellness of your kids? [with Jessica Bryant]Reach out to Jessica for a Free 15-minute sleep Audit if you have questions about sleepThe Better Sleep CounselEpisode 178. Surviving the Turbulent Teen Years: Expert Insight and Strategies for Today's Parent [With Dr. Michael Bradley]Book by Dr. Michael Bradley: Crazy Stressed - Saving Today's Overwhelmed Teens with Love, Laughter, and the Science of ResilienceEpisode 197. Conquer Digital Overload: Parenting Tips for Raising Tech-Savvy Kids [with Steve Arterburn]Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Wou...
2024-11-1905 minBlended Family Breakthrough198. How do sleep habits impact the health and wellness of your kids? [with Jessica Bryant]Are your kids ever irritable, anxious, or just "off"?Maybe they aren't getting enough sleep.You might be surprised how inadequate or inconsistent sleep habits can negatively impact your kid's ability to focus, tolerate stress, and manage relationships. Lack of sleep increases fatigue, affects mood, and decreases overall wellness. In fact, our guest Jessica Bryant says there really isn't any health concern we might have for our kids that isn't impacted by sleep — particularly their mental health.Jessica has helped over 2000 families across 5 different countries to create healthy sleep habits. She's done t...
2024-11-121h 14Blended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Managing Screens Across HouseholdsResourcesEpisode 20. 4 Big Myths About Parenting When an Ex Has Different RulesEpisode 197. Conquer Digital Overload: Parenting Tips for Raising Tech-Savvy Kids [with Steve Arterburn]Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help...
2024-11-0506 minBlended Family Breakthrough197. Conquer Digital Overload: Parenting Tips for Raising Tech-Savvy Kids [with Stephen Arterburn]In today's screen-saturated world, parents are facing a unique challenge that previous generations never had to navigate……how to raise tech-savvy kids!Screens are everywhere. Your children may wake up to the morning news on TV. They might work on a laptop or even a government-issued tablet while at school. Throughout the day and into the evening, they may play a game on their tablet, text friends on a smartphone, or watch a movie with the family—maybe even all three at once! Your children’s 24/7 access to screens will expose them to a universe...
2024-10-2944 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Communicating Well With Your ExSuggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://w...
2024-10-2208 minBlended Family Breakthrough196. 5 Tips for Effectively Negotiating Holiday Plans with an ExThe holidays can be a time of excitement and high hopes for family "togetherness". You probably want to plan fun, festive activities so that you're able to enjoy memorable moments as a family.But nothing can rob you of all that fun like struggling to negotiate some details about scheduling or other logistics with your Ex.We've been there more times than we've wanted to be. Over the years, we've discovered 5 simple things that can reduce the headaches and avoid the heartaches that often come when negotiations break down.If you're an...
2024-10-1537 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Highlight the Positives - Mike's StoryResourcesEpisode 195. Connecting with Kim's HARD Child - Facing the Challenges of Parental Alienation Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how...
2024-10-0806 minBlended Family Breakthrough195. Connecting with Kim's HARD Child — Facing the Challenges of Parental AlienationDo you ever stop to think about what it will be like 15 years from now? What will your relationship with each of your children be like?Maybe you've got a HARD kid (Hurt, Angry, Rejecting, Distant) who's putting up walls and seems to have turned against you - and it feels like this painful season will never end. The tension in your relationship with your child has robbed you of the connection you really want — and you aren't sure how to respond.That's exactly what we were experiencing 16 years ago, but you know what……it...
2024-10-0133 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Responding to Your Child's Complaints & AccusationsResources:Episode 194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]Book by Amy J.L. Baker: and Paul R. Fine Parenting Under FireArticle by Amy J.L. Baker: Five Things to Never Say to an Alienated ChildSuggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share
2024-09-2408 minBlended Family Breakthrough194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]Children of divorce who are hurt, angry, rejecting, and distant (HARD) are challenging to parent. They can be rude, uncooperative, and disagreeable. It's difficult to relate to or connect with them, and they can appear hardened against the love and guidance you want to provide.When conflict between two homes intensifies, children often become entangled in loyalty conflicts or sometimes victims of parental alienation. Whatever the reason might be, parents need help!If it feels like you've been parenting "under fire" and you're struggling to understand the dynamics your child might be experiencing, and you're tr...
2024-09-171h 03Blended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Preparing to BlendResources:Episode 193. The Advantage of Learning The Basics BEFORE You BlendCLICK HERE to receive a curated podcast list to help you learn the Basics of Blending Episode 109. Preparing to Blend: The Couples Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily [with Ron Deal]Book by Ron Deal: Preparing to Blend: The Couple's Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've...
2024-09-1005 minBlended Family Breakthrough193. The Advantage of Learning The Basics BEFORE You BlendMost of us start off on the blending journey with some ambiguity about how to deal with the complex dynamics that will come as families merge.It usually doesn't take long before you're blindsided by the reality that there's SO MUCH MORE to blending than first anticipated. Feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and disappointment might hit and you realize you're not as prepared as you thought. If you're seriously dating, contemplating marriage, engaged, newly married or getting ready to merge and move everyone under one roof — or if you've been on your blended journey for a whil...
2024-09-0358 minBlended Family BreakthroughSimple Step: Building Trust in ParentingResources:Episode 172. 2 Key Elements to Resolve Your Parenting Style Differences - And Get United Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/shareReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how w...
2024-08-2707 minBlended Family Breakthrough190. Where can you turn for help? Understand the Difference Between Counseling and CoachingI (Mike) have had so many moments of just feeling stuck. I wondered how we would ever move forward and I figured out pretty early on that I wouldn't be able to sort out all the complex chaos without some support.The problem was, I had no idea what kind of support we needed.And when we were stuck in unhealthy patterns that kept leading to disconnection and pain, it was challenging to sort out how to move forward.That's a frustrating place to be. It can sometimes feel confusing or even hopeless....
2024-07-2339 minBlended Family Breakthrough184. The Heart of Motherhood: Navigating Messy Moments with Empathy and LoveHey Moms and Stepmoms! As this episode drops, I'm betting that Mother's Day is on your radar. If you're anything like me (Kim), you're looking forward to being celebrated. But as wonderful as it is to be appreciated on Mother's Day, it might just feel like a drop in the bucket……because being celebrated and appreciated on this one day of the year, might not help you get through all the other difficult days of your motherhood journey. Those days when you feel unappreciated, disappointed, insignificant, unloved, dismissed, or like you're failing.I've been the...
2024-05-0733 minBlended Family Breakthrough182. How to Lead Your Blended Family with Intentionality and Courage [with Mike Haney]I (Mike) take leadership very seriously. One of my desires, even in our current empty nest years is to be the kind of family leader that my children and stepchild want to connect with and listen to.But often I feel overwhelmed or frustrated as I lead my blended family. All the complexities can lead to confusion that robs me of the confidence and connection I'm trying to build.Guys — have you ever felt that way?You certainly aren't alone. And you don't have to figure it all out by yourself. I...
2024-04-091h 02Blended Family Breakthrough181. Discover Insider Tips, Strategies, and Attitudes from One Dedicated Stepdad [with Special Guest Mike Haney]Stepdads need courage! Navigating all the complexities, confusion, and common frustrations is not for the faint-hearted.But it's not just courage stepdad's need, they also need community. Sure, lots of guys operate as if they can fix the challenges, untangle the complexities, and "be the hero" on their own — but most experience relief and reassurance when they discover they're not alone! Our special guest, Mike Haney is on a mission to encourage stepdads and share what he's learned through almost 23 years of blending!In this episode, I (Kim) will be interviewing two s...
2024-03-261h 11Blended Family Breakthrough180. Break free from Guilt and Blend with Authenticity and SecurityHave you ever felt like you were stuck in an emotional minefield? For many couples, when a sense of guilt creeps in, it can be debilitating. They might want to move toward blending but find themselves trapped in a minefield of guilt and regret.I (Kim) stayed stuck in my own personal minefield of guilt for way too long. It impacted every area of my life — particularly the way I dealt with our blended family challenges.In this episode, I share how I eventually broke FREE from unhealthy guilt and learned to manage my di...
2024-03-1235 minBlended Family Breakthrough178. Surviving the Turbulent Teen Years: Expert Insight and Strategies for Today's Parent [With Dr. Michael Bradley]Ever felt like your teen is completely crazy or maybe you feel like the crazy one — you're not alone! Raising teens is not for the faint-hearted parent or stepparent. But what if this "crazy" season doesn't have to be filled with fear or anger? What if you could find practical ways to hold boundaries, stay connected, and experience a little peace even as you support your teen in their journey to adulthood?In this episode, we'll explore why teenagers behave in ways that are crazy and how you can equip yourself to better understand, support, and c...
2024-02-201h 12Blended Family Breakthrough165. How important is your mindset when it comes to blended family life?If you're like me (Mike), when you encounter a challenging situation, you're determined to successfully conquer it. You'll jump right in by engaging with lots of resources like books or podcasts — and reaching out for professional support if needed. You don't want to stay stuck and you're all about new learning and growth.But if this does NOT describe you, maybe you're more naturally like Kim. She tends to be more comfortable staying stuck in a challenge much longer than I am. She has her own unique perspectives on how to approach a challenge and moves at a dif...
2023-09-0539 minBlended Family Breakthrough160. A 4-Part Framework for Achievable Expectations and How to Live Them OutYou've probably heard the advice to lower your expectations when you're blending a family. But what does that really mean?Does it mean you're supposed to keep the bar low and not expect much of anything? Or is there something more to this common advice for blended families?In this episode, we'll explore the difference between lowering your expectations altogether vs. developing achievable expectations for your family.I (Mike) struggled for years holding onto unrealistic expectations that added a whole lot of pressure and stress to our situation. Eventually, I realized that holding ont...
2023-04-1137 min
Raising Them Ready. Preparing Kids to Launch in Life — Confident, Capable, and KindBlended Family - Part 2, with guest Mike & Kim AndersonThe conversation continues with blended family coaches Mike & Kim Anderson's insights into raising kids who split family time between two separate households.Buy RAISING THEM READY: Practical Ways to Prepare Your Kids for Life on Their Own.Amazon: https://a.co/d/94QHoF2Visit Raising Them Ready online at http://raisingthemready.com
2023-02-1518 min
Raising Them Ready. Preparing Kids to Launch in Life — Confident, Capable, and KindBlended Family - Part 1, with guest Mike & Kim AndersonBlended family coaches Mike & Kim Anderson talk about the complications of uniting bio & step-parenting practices and the significance of kids feeling a connection before accepting correction. (Part 1 of 2 episodes)
2023-02-1522 minBlended Family Breakthrough155. How to Easily Enjoy Meaningful Conversations and More Connection with Your Spouse [with Jennifer Zumbiel]When we fall in love and choose to spend our life with someone, we might picture a beautiful vision of what we want our relationship to look like……relaxed, romantic meals together, the exchange of sweet gestures and affection, supportive encouragement, and genuine heart-to-heart connection. All that sounds amazing, doesn't it?But we also know how easy it is for the busyness and business of life to take over. We might feel overwhelmed and discouraged as our connection with each other seems to fade.For a long time, Mike and I though...
2023-01-311h 01Blended Family Breakthrough150. The Highs and Lows of Our Family's Holiday Experiences [Special Guests: Our Kids — Annika, Phoebe and Jacob!]Isn't it fun to reminisce sometimes?We love spending time remembering the journey with our family. It's great to recall some of those funny moments in our history. And it's meaningful when we recount the tough seasons we've endured together as well.In celebration of our 150th episode, we thought we'd let you listen in to our family reminisce over some of the ups and downs of our Holiday experiences over the past 20+ years. We wonder if it might stir up a bit of hope for your own future as you hear some of...
2022-11-291h 01Blended Family Breakthrough147. Do sensitive conversations end up creating conflict in your relationship?Have you ever felt like you got stuck in a difficult conversation before it even got started?You know that feeling — like this is going downhill fast and you just don't know how it got so heated and emotionally-charged so fast.We've experienced this kind of interaction hundreds (maybe thousands) of times over the years! Those are the moments we feel disconnected and divided. And we're left wondering how we'll ever be able to talk about sensitive topics and work through problems.But almost 12 years ago, Mike kinda stumbled across a communication strategy in a...
2022-10-1837 minBlended Family Breakthrough139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple ExperiencesWe're betting you want to experience teamwork, connection, and peace in your blended family journey.But if you're anything like us, the complex emotions and unexpected relational tension might be taking you by surprise. You're not alone. We struggled with the pain that comes with all that for years.All too often, Kim felt like the rope in a tug-of-war between her daughter and Mike. She wanted everyone to feel loved and to be happy, but felt like she had to choose between Annika and Mike. She felt trapped.On the other hand, Mike...
2022-07-1952 minBlended Family Breakthrough138. How Relational Dysfunction Plagued Our Marriage and How We Finally Broke FreeHave you ever thought to yourself, "Our relationship is a mess!"?I know I've thought that in different seasons along the way. What I wanted was a healthy, connected relationship with Kim……but at times it's felt hopeless — like we would never be okay.And often in those difficult moments, my feelings got deeply centered on my own emotional pain. It wasn't just "we" would never be okay, but that translated to "I" would never be okay.But just a few years into our marriage, I stumbled across a common relational dynamic...
2022-07-0547 minBlended Family Breakthrough135. How to Set Appropriate Boundaries and Negotiate Well with Your Ex-SpouseCooperative co-parenting with an Ex is the goal when you've got kids moving between two homes. You likely want your kids to experience peaceful transitions — you want to avoid tension and conflict as you negotiate with your Ex-Spouse.But sometimes this seems like an impossible goal. That's because setting healthy, appropriate boundaries in co-parenting without triggering conflict feels just out of reach.In this episode, Kim is sharing how she took an 'easy wrong turn' when she felt provoked and pressured by her Ex-Spouse. Plus, we'll talk about how the consequences of her snap...
2022-05-2446 minBlended Family Breakthrough133. 3 Tips to Help You Experience Joy on Special Occasions — Including Mother's DaySpecial family occasions should be filled with joy, laughter, and gratefulness — especially Mother's Day.But in your blended family dynamics, that might not be what you actually experience. The relational tension and disconnection that can sometimes be present doesn't just melt away because it happens to be a day designated to honor Mom or celebrate other occasions as a family.Yet, moms and step-moms in blended families still have the opportunity to hold onto their joy. It is possible to accept the positives that do exist and experience genuine contentment in your blended dynamics.In...
2022-04-2645 minBlended Family Breakthrough131. Why is trust important in your co-parenting relationship?Building trust can be difficult in any relationship……and when it comes to your former spouse, it might feel impossible.Building trust in your parenting coalition seems out of reach when you keep your focus on the way your Ex behaves. But there's more to it than that.We've had multiple seasons of over-focusing on the untrustworthy actions of Kim's former spouse. But over time, we discovered that we had more control over building trust in our parenting coalition than we thought.In this episode, we're examining how the 3 major elements of tr...
2022-03-2951 minBlended Family Breakthrough124. How to Effectively Parent through Each Stage of Development — and Reduce Painful Interactions [Part 1]What might each of your children be like when they reach adulthood? What will your relationship with them be like when they're 30?These kinds of questions might create excitement or maybe anxiety for you. Either way, if we're mindful, these two simple questions can help guide your approach to parenting — today.Each busy day that goes by moves your kids toward the next stage in their development toward adulthood. And the truth is your parenting approach needs to develop along with them.Remaining stuck in a single approach to parenting from your child's first...
2022-01-2549 minBlended Family Breakthrough123. How to Connect More and Rekindle Romance in Your Relationship — Even If You're Super BusyWe could all use a little more connection and romance in our relationship, right?But for many of us, it's the little things hiding in plain sight that tend to rob us of the connection we're hoping for.It can feel like a lack of time often gets in the way of connecting. And sometimes it's simply our own mindset that creates the roadblocks holding us back.We've had to overcome our own misguided mindsets and intentionally strengthen specific areas of our marriage in order to move past those same roadblocks that you mi...
2022-01-1858 minBlended Family Breakthrough110. What Might You Learn About Your Kids Through Mike's Unique Childhood Stepfamily?We all want to love our kids well. We want to be a safe place for them to process. We want them to be open and authentic with us.The problem is, their losses and emotions can be hard for us to understand. Sometimes we do our best to help them move through those old hurts and hang-ups without realizing our efforts are keeping them stuck.That was something I (Mike) experienced growing up. My dad and step-mom simply wanted to move forward, but some of their choices kept us kids stuck. I'm sharing more about...
2021-09-2138 minBlended Family Breakthrough105. What powerful traits do you need to successfully blend and stay united?Love is all you need — right?It might feel that way in the beginning. You're excited to start "blending" and you're confident you'll figure it out as you go along.But when the unknown and unexpected dynamics of stepfamily life hit, you probably experience more chaos and conflict than you expected. That's when doubt can set in.I (Mike) remember running into a season of doubt. My doubt wasn't only about whether we could make it work — I doubted myself.I wasn't sure I had what it would take to experience the ble...
2021-08-171h 04Blended Family Breakthrough104. 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and their Bio-Kids (Part 2)Did you catch the first two Myths about 1 on 1 time in Episode 103?If not, you might want to go back and check that out.In this episode, we're revealing two more myths and replacing them with the counteractive truths that will help you move forward with clarity and confidence.Many parents and stepparents buy into these myths about this 1 on 1 strategy and that robs them of the truth that genuine bonds in their blended family starts with a sense of security in the bio-relationships.The 1 on 1 strategy is the first step...
2021-08-1030 minBlended Family Breakthrough103. 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and their Bio-Kids (Part 1)Everyone hopes to experience connection and fun times together as they begin "blending" families……but when family time is stressful, their high hopes get snatched away, and instead that time becomes a painful reminder that blending isn't as easy as they thought it might be.We remember those moments when our hopes for a bonded family were dashed. And then we started learning about the value of the 1 on 1 strategy for bio relationships.This strategy is the first step in paving the way to what you really want — and providing the kids with what th...
2021-08-0327 minBlended Family Breakthrough100. Heart-To-Heart Questions Between Mike and Kim — and Some Surprising AnswersTo celebrate our 100th episode, we thought it might be fun for us to share from the heart about the last 20 years of our marriage — but we wanted to do that with a bit of a "twist".We hope you enjoy listening in on this unrehearsed conversation where we'll ask each other questions about the past 20 years of our stepfamily journey, our marriage, and the future we each envision.We don't hold back in our candid answers, which you might be surprised by — we were!Maybe you'll gain a new vision for your rela...
2021-07-1350 minBlended Family Breakthrough99. 3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and RegretFeelings of guilt and regret can really drag you down……and all too often in blended family life, guilt and regret are easily triggered. They sometimes keep you stuck — unable to break free from a heavy emotional burden.Kim knows first-hand what it's like to be trapped in that place. She's also discovered that she didn't have to allow painful guilt and regret to dictate her decisions or negatively impact her life.In this hope-filled episode Kim shares her personal struggles with debilitating guilt and regret — and ways she faced those difficult emotions in order t...
2021-07-0646 minBlended Family Breakthrough97. The Warning Signs Every Parent Needs to Know About Adolescent Addiction [with Richard Capriola]We all want to keep our kids safe. We want to protect them from the dangers of our world.But the reality is that every child from every background and in every community is at risk of experimenting with drugs and alcohol and even developing an addiction……and the warning signs of addictive behavior can sometimes be hard to spot.We personally know the shock, disappointment, anger and heartbreak that comes when a child turns to drugs and alcohol. Our daughter experienced an extended season of using. She was simply trying to fit in with...
2021-06-2255 minBlended Family Breakthrough96. Celebrate Father's Day by Honoring the Dad and/or Stepdad in Your HomeHusbands in stepfamilies have some challenging responsibilities.As Dad or Stepdad (or both!), they tend to carry a lot on their shoulders.They might not always say it — but most men need to feel appreciated and affirmed for all they do.Father's Day is a perfect opportunity to honor the man in your home simply by saying a few words to him — the ones he really needs to hear!In this episode, Mike shares the 3 most meaningful messages he's received from Kim over the years and how these affirmations impact him.
2021-06-1525 minBlended Family Breakthrough91. Is your husband's hostile ex-wife invading your life, stealing your joy and confidence?Most of us want to get along well with the Ex, but unfortunately the story we hear more about is that difficult Ex.You know — that high conflict Ex that leaves you emotionally exhausted. It might feel like your spouse's Ex has way too much power over your home and your life! And when your husband's Ex-Wife (or maybe it's your wife's Ex-husband) is invading your home — you might be tempted to fight back……but there's a better way to respond to a hostile Ex.In this episode you'll discover practical steps for...
2021-05-1148 minBlended Family Breakthrough87. Mike and Annika Chat About Her Experience Growing Up in Our HomeIn this unique episode you'll get to listen in on a candid conversation between me (Mike) and my step-daughter, Annika.We wanted to understand more about what it was like for Annika growing up in our blended family — so, I asked her to simply be open and honest as she answered some tough and insightful questions.Simple questions like:As a step-parent, what do you think I did well?What do you wish I would've done differently? The answers she gave kind of surprised me and they might surprise you too.Ann...
2021-04-131h 04Blended Family Breakthrough84. How to Cope With Sadness, Anxiety, and Longing While Your Kids Are GoneOne of the most painful realities of my divorce was facing the fact that my daughter would be splitting her time between two homes.Every time Annika left for her dad's house, I would feel empty, disconnected and even numb.After I remarried, I wanted to engage in normal life with Mike and our mutual kids while Annika was at her dad's — but for me, things just weren't normal and I didn't feel "okay".I was constantly thinking of Annika. I was missing her and worrying about her. And I didn't want our fam...
2021-03-2341 minBlended Family Breakthrough83. 4 Everyday Favoritism Traps That Dishearten Kids in a Blended FamilyFavoritism is kind of a "yucky" word in families — but the truth is favoritism can pop up in some unexpected ways in just about any family. And blending families can be particularly susceptible. When unintended favoritism creeps in, it can wreak havoc and do long-term damage to relationships.The first step to protecting your blended family from this kind of enemy is to understand all the ways that subtle favoritism can sneak into your unique situation.In this episode you'll discover four specific, everyday areas where many couples tend to have blind spots arou...
2021-03-1642 minBlended Family Breakthrough80. From "Mostly Miserable" to "More In Love" — One Couple's Inspiring Transformation [with Wes & Jennie]Blended family marriage is unique and it takes intentional effort to stay connected and communicate well. That is especially true when the typical stressors, pressures and disagreements hit.There seem to be these times along the way when we simply don't know how to handle the unique dynamics or manage conflict well. And if we don't intentionally do something about it, it can be detrimental to our marriage — and our entire blended family. We know about these kinds of challenges first hand and so do our clients Wes and Jennie. They've experienced more than their fair s...
2021-02-2336 minBlended Family Breakthrough79. 4 Conflict Communication Patterns that are Hurtful and Toxic to Your RelationshipEvery couple has conflict. That's a simple reality we should all expect — especially for those of us who live each day in the challenges of blended family dynamics.But one thing that's not so simple, is fully understanding the unhealthy ways most of us tend to react when conflict hits. It's tough to identify exactly how to avoid those toxic reactions that many of us have. And left unchecked, they can lead to damaging our relationship and long-term unresolved issues. In this episode, we'll uncover four communication patterns that often...
2021-02-1635 minBlended Family Breakthrough78. Cultivating More Passion, Intimacy and Commitment in Your MarriageEvery relationship starts with attraction and some passion. And true intimacy grows as we get to know and discover each other. And then we make the decision to commit ourselves exclusively to each other through saying our "I do's".But this is just the beginning of building a lifelong love. As time goes by challenges of blending set in, life gets busy and stressful. It's common for passion, intimacy and commitment to slowly subside. And while it's unrealistic to expect that you'll maintain the same sizzling level of passion, or the deep connection of in...
2021-02-0938 minBlended Family Breakthrough76. How to Restore Your Relationship with a Child After You've Messed UpThe truth is there are going to be times when we mess up.We unintentionally lose control…we make mistakes…and the result is usually distance and tension in our most important relationships.There is no such thing as a perfect parent — or a perfect step-parent.And the good news is, when we say or do something that causes hurt feelings, we don't have to stay stuck in the disconnection and awkwardness it creates!In this episode, we'll share some intentional steps you can take to make amends and experience a restor...
2021-01-2636 minBlended Family Breakthrough74. How to Develop Appropriate and Effective Consequences that Empower ResponsibilityEver wondered why your usual 'go-to' consequences for the kids seem to have lost their impact? Or maybe you've been struggling to get on the same page as a couple to come up with consequences that you're able to follow through with?We want our kids to learn self-control and take responsibility for their poor choices. But it feels like we've run out of options to respond with consequences that actually help kids learn.When Mike and I were stuck there, it took us a while to figure out the secret to discovering appropriate and ef...
2021-01-1249 minBlended Family Breakthrough71. How to Help Kids Cope with Painful Holiday DisappointmentThe holidays are a time for laughter, joy, connection and peace. But for blended families, all of that can be hijacked by our kids' difficult emotions and disappointment. And for most of us it's hard to know how to respond.Kim's daughter, Annika struggled with difficult emotions moving between two homes — and her disappointment seemed especially sensitive around the holidays.Her sullen behavior was hard for us to understand and we didn't always know how to help her work through her emotions in a healthy way. In this episode, we'll share some of what...
2020-12-2247 minBlended Family Breakthrough67. The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already KnowEvery parent wants to create a heathy environment for their kids as they move between homes, but conflict between parents does just the opposite — and the results can be detrimental.Even if your Ex treats you with contempt and seems to oppose everything you say or do……you don't have to lose hope or give up on trying to improve co-parenting interactions. In this episode we'll share a simple strategy and practical tools to help you show up in a way that can make a real difference in your co-parenting relationship. You can...
2020-11-2442 minBlended Family Breakthrough65. 6 Simple Steps for Inviting Your Spouse to Get Help With YouIf you're ready to get some help navigating blended family life and explore new ways to improve things in your relationship — but your partner isn't interested……this episode is for YOU! 10 years into our marriage, we were not on the same page about getting help. We were facing an unknown future and Mike wanted us to get professional help — but I (Kim) wasn't willing to do anything new. This was an extremely difficult season for us and we almost didn't make it to the other side. In this episode, we'll share our story and...
2020-11-1039 minBlended Family Breakthrough62. How to Partner Well as a Stepparent — Even if You Feel Stuck on the Outside (Part 2)This episode is the second half of our conversation focused on the "easy wrong turns" many stepparents make when they're frustrated with feeling stuck on the outside of a parent-child allegiance (between their spouse and his or her kids).If you missed the last episode, you may want to go back and listen to Episode 61 first — then come back here to catch the second half of the conversation where we'll dive into a few more of the "easy wrong turns" and why they won't help you build the unity you're looking for.Then, next week, we...
2020-10-2030 minBlended Family Breakthrough61. How to Partner Well as a Stepparent — Even if You Feel Stuck on the Outside (Part 1)Stepparents, you want to be a part of the team — in your marriage and in your family.But it can often feel like you're stuck on the outside of the "allegiance" that's formed between your spouse and his or her kids.That's when the frustration, hurt or anger sets in and you end up in the danger zone of allowing "easy wrong turns" to dictate your attitude. It's these easy wrong turns that actually rob you of the teamwork and unity you're actually looking for.And there are some simple things you can do...
2020-10-1331 minBlended Family Breakthrough60. Why are you stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance? (Part 2)This episode is the second half of our conversation focused on the challenging emotional barriers many bio-parents face in blended families. Often these barriers lead to a dynamic called a parent-child allegiance.If you missed the last episode, you may want to go back and listen to Episode 59 first — then come back here to catch the second half of the conversation where we'll talk about moving beyond those barriers and breaking free of parent-child allegiances.And in the coming weeks, keep an eye out for our upcoming discussion around the 'easy wrong turns' that step-parents can...
2020-10-0632 minBlended Family Breakthrough59. Why are you stuck in a Parent-Child Allegiance? (Part 1)"Things are so great between us…until the kids are around! Then there's just a ton of tension and we end up arguing about everything!"We've heard this from countless step couples over the years. It isn't surprising because stepfamily structure puts couples on opposite ends of an experiential divide — leaving us feeling frustrated and maybe even hopeless.But here's what we've discovered……at the root of stepfamily structure are relationships that have been reordered. This leads to a dynamic called a parent-child allegiance — which puts the marital relationship on the "back burner" and robs us o...
2020-09-2925 minBlended Family Breakthrough57. Day 4 of Your 'Next Step' Challenge — Overcome Your ObstaclesIt's Day 4 of Your Next Steps Challenge…Today is all about anticipating the obstacles that could keep you from living out your good intentions for your blended family.We'll uncover the most common roadblocks to growth — and help you proactively prepare and respond so that you don't lose motivation or get stuck.So grab a note card and get ready to overcome your biggest obstacle by capturing specific strategies that'll keep you moving forward to reach your goals!You'll Discover:5 of the most common obstacles to reac...
2020-09-2521 minBlended Family Breakthrough50. How to Openly Communicate What You Really WantOne of the biggest challenges we've faced as a couple has been learning how to openly communicate — especially when we don't agree.Mike tends to raise his voice, criticize and make demands. I tend to disconnect and hold my tongue even when there's something I really should be communicating. We spent years stuck in painful cycles of conflict, misunderstanding and confusion. Thankfully, healthy communication is a skill we have intentionally developed — and it's made a HUGE difference in our ability to resolve conflict and deeply connect.In this week's episode we'll uncover the four comm...
2020-08-2543 minBlended Family Breakthrough49. Should your highest priority be your marriage — or your kids?The question we're often asked is this: Should my highest priority be my marriage or my kids? If you're a bio-parent, you might be concerned about making sure that your kids are feeling secure and cared for — they've always been your priority and maybe you're wondering why that should change.And if you're a step-parent, you probably entered into marriage thinking that you'd be at the top of your spouse's priority list and that you'd have a say in all the family's decisions.This is exactly where we started out in our marriage and...
2020-08-1836 minBlended Family Breakthrough47. How to Like Your Stepchild Even When You're Feeling Frustrated and AnnoyedIt's uncomfortable for any stepparent to admit they don't like their own step-child. But faking, avoiding or trying to grit your way through doesn't seem to help much.Mike has fessed up over the years about the times he struggled to connect with my daughter Annika. Their personalities are very different and he didn't always agree with my approach to parenting — which really meant that he disliked her behavior.That sometimes lead to frustration and irritation and he didn't really enjoy being around her that much. When those moments hit, he just didn't like her!
2020-08-0442 minBlended Family Breakthrough46. How to Focus When Your Stepkids Are Ruining Your MarriageDo you ever think back to when you and your spouse just started dating? You know — when you felt really connected and things seemed so much easier. But now the reality of busy family life seems to interfere with your marriage, creating disconnection and maybe even conflict. You're probably frustrated by all the relational challenges — especially around step-kids and parenting issues.It's tough for any stepparent to admit it, but sometimes they really do feel like their step-kids are ruining their marriage.We get it! Mike has experienced plenty of frustration and even...
2020-07-2828 minBlended Family Breakthrough39. How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant StepkidsYou want to be connected to your step-kids. You want to experience that bond you had hoped for early on. The bond you knew would take some work, but now seems impossible to experience……now there seems to be a wall that's standing between you and the step-kids you love. That wall is robbing you of the connection you really want.Sure, you understand that many of the bricks that built that wall originated from your step-child's resistance to you. But you also know there's more to the story than just a stubborn kid.You kn...
2020-06-0934 minBlended Family Breakthrough33. How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your KidsWe all want to have an easy, peaceful co-parenting relationship with our Ex — mostly because we want to protect our kids and ensure they aren't caught up in drama or conflict. We don't want to feel like our kids are the ones suffering the consequences of our disagreements with the Ex.But, when the Ex seems to constantly insist on being difficult no matter the situation, it's exhausting! And if we're really honest with ourselves, their poor behavior starts to tempt us to lash out and retaliate…even though we know that's not the best thing...
2020-04-2849 minBlended Family Breakthrough30. Should stepparents WANT authority with their step-kids?Authority — it's a tough subject in blended families. Who has it…who doesn't? Who should have it…and who shouldn’t? There's so much conflicting advice out there about this it can make your head spin! And one big "message" that seems to have made its way into the mainstream is that authority should NOT belong to a stepparent. But, is it that simple? I (Mike) used to talk a lot about Authority Vs. Influence, but as I've come through 19 years now of raising and relating to my step-daughte...
2020-04-0738 min